FabSwingers.com forum: Fab as a single

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you find fab as a single guy? I know guys make up a good percentage of this site and that every woman or couple get 100s if not 1000s of messages a day but... What does it actually take to stand out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A glow in the dark penis?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are an awful lot of us. Best advice is: be polite, be respectful, take all of the lack of replies and ‘no thanks’ on the chin.

Several threads over on the introductions section of the forum that you may find helpful about structuring your profile and how to communicate.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you find fab as a single guy? I know guys make up a good percentage of this site and that every woman or couple get 100s if not 1000s of messages a day but... What does it actually take to stand out? "

Treat women with respect, and as if they are human beings. It might sound obvious, but so many men treat us like a wet hole.

Appreciate us too

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I don’t really try to stand out, I just put in as much effort as it takes to represent who I am. If people want to meet me or talk to me, they are welcome to contact me. Fab (for everyone) is about expectation management.

I never message first, I’m below average looking, I don’t accommodate, I’m very slim, and I don’t jump through hoops, therefore I set my expectations to take into account those facts.

Once you have managed your own expectations, fab becomes a nicer place to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself and have respect for others, nobody owes you conversation let alone anything else.

If all else fails offer cake!

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Read their profile

Are you actually what someone's looking for or do you just think you tick about 70% of the boxes & think you'll be able to talk them into compromising on the rest

I've stopped looking for guys on my single profile now as I got bored of putting up the status if you can tick all my boxes I'll guarantee you a meet & still not getting a message from a guy that was what I was looking for

I wouldn't mind but I'm not even picky, it wasn't a big list of boxes to tick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Draw some tape measure markings on your penis. It works……allegedly

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

People want to stand out, to be different. I see it said lots.

I also see women telling men they need to stand out. Whilst I agree that yes, people need to be unique to stand out what most people fucking forget or simply don't take the time to appreciate is this.

There's 1 you in this world.

If that's not unique then what is?!

So, be yourself and eventually whatever your quirk is, whatever element of YOU that is different from everyone else roaming this planet will be noticed by someone or someone's who find that something wonderful, interesting, enticing and in some cases, downright fucking sexy.

Don't try to be what you think others want.

Don't try to "fit in" to the point you blend in. If you fit you fit. The spectrum of folk here and in the outside world is so diverse that actually everyone fits, it may just take time to find your tribe, the same as everything.

Just be authentic. That's the truest and most loving thing you could do for yourself and for others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself and have confidence in knowing that’s enough. As others have said be kind and respectful and treat others how you’d like to be treated. I try and follow this in all aspects of my life and while not everyone will like you, know you’re enough.

FWIW I have found this place to be very friendly and welcoming. I may not be for everyone and not everyone is for me but so many wonderful people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People want to stand out, to be different. I see it said lots.

There's 1 you in this world.

If that's not unique then what is?!

Don't try to be what you think others want.

Just be authentic. That's the truest and most loving thing you could do for yourself and for others.

I love this post Peach

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Treat women with respect, and as if they are human beings. It might sound obvious, but so many men treat us like a wet hole.

Appreciate us too

I have been on here on and off since I was 22 and I have done all of that. Talked on the forums constantly and gotten advice to make my profile good. Look at other guys profiles that have a lot of verifications but it just seems like they're better at talking or opening messages or even just better looking in some way or another.

I'm lucky to get past the 1st message let alone get a meet. In the whole time I've been on here I've had 2 meets and they weren't exactly what you'd call great and what swinging is about

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By *exymarvelMan
over a year ago

cardiff

Treat women with respect, and as if they are human beings. It might sound obvious, but so many men treat us like a wet hole.

Appreciate us too

I could never be disrespectful, i cant believe how many guys are

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Treat women with respect, and as if they are human beings. It might sound obvious, but so many men treat us like a wet hole.

Appreciate us too

I'm lucky to get past the 1st message let alone get a meet. In the whole time I've been on here I've had 2 meets and they weren't exactly what you'd call great and what swinging is about "

Stop looking.

Stop comparing.

You are not them and they are not you.

You don't know the circumstances under which those verifications happened so creating a narrative of how you perceive those green ticks were gotten may well be incorrect will only damage your self esteem.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"People want to stand out, to be different. I see it said lots.

There's 1 you in this world.

If that's not unique then what is?!

Don't try to be what you think others want.

Just be authentic. That's the truest and most loving thing you could do for yourself and for others.

I love this post Peach

Cheers beaut.

Social media, expectations, comparisons, pressure on ourselves and each other to be perfect. It's all bollocks. It's real but it's bollocks.

People living daily with invisible weights pressing down on them because they feel they're not enough or need to change etc.

Only changes anyone should want to make are those that make them a better human.

I'm guilty. I'm just as guilty of feeling those pressures and believing the hype. But there comes a point where you gotta take a deep breath and accept... "I am me"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite what some say it's not a competition you will appeal to some but not to many.

If you change your personality and online persona to stand out, that's not you just something you believe you have to be.

You then create more problems as you have to keep the pretence up and frankly that's not fair on the people concerned either.

Just be yourself if you can't accept what you are then others won't accept it either.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To everyone as I don't want to reply to everyone individually and clog the thread...

I know what you're all saying about being myself and accepting that is enough. It's just difficult when you see people go through life getting everything so easily and then there are people like me that find it so hard. Just makes you wonder what they have that you don't.

Social media and everything in between have massively damaged the younger generations (bellow 30) for sure.

But in my opinion all that has done is just air all the opinions and everything else that was already in the world. But it just wasn't thrown in your face like it is today.

I don't spend much time on social media for that reason I spend maybe 1/2hrs a week on any social media and some weeks not at all.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"To everyone as I don't want to reply to everyone individually and clog the thread...

Social media and everything in between have massively damaged the younger generations (bellow 30) for sure.

But in my opinion all that has done is just air all the opinions and everything else that was already in the world. But it just wasn't thrown in your face like it is today.

I don't spend much time on social media for that reason I spend maybe 1/2hrs a week on any social media and some weeks not at all. "

Here's the thing. You don't KNOW that others are getting things easily. You can presume they are but you don't know.

Sure some people do seem to sail through life without a care in the world and seemingly only need to think something and it happens.

Others...

Well, others will have had incomprehensible trauma. They will have had to work massively internally just to stay alive, yet to onlookers they've got it easy.

People don't see the work, they just see the results.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat women with respect, and as if they are human beings. It might sound obvious, but so many men treat us like a wet hole.

Appreciate us too

I could never be disrespectful, i cant believe how many guys are"

Who chose your profile name?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To everyone as I don't want to reply to everyone individually and clog the thread...

Social media and everything in between have massively damaged the younger generations (bellow 30) for sure.

But in my opinion all that has done is just air all the opinions and everything else that was already in the world. But it just wasn't thrown in your face like it is today.

I don't spend much time on social media for that reason I spend maybe 1/2hrs a week on any social media and some weeks not at all.

Here's the thing. You don't KNOW that others are getting things easily. You can presume they are but you don't know.

Sure some people do seem to sail through life without a care in the world and seemingly only need to think something and it happens.

Others...

Well, others will have had incomprehensible trauma. They will have had to work massively internally just to stay alive, yet to onlookers they've got it easy.

People don't see the work, they just see the results."

I understand that completely. It's like that couple that everyone thinks is perfect then are completely surprised when they break up. I know you never truly know what is going on inside a person's head and you just see what you want them to see.

Guess this site just hasn't done me many favours as all I get is male attention and no female attention at all really. Maybe the odd fab and wink but when I pop up they seem completely disinterested

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"To everyone as I don't want to reply to everyone individually and clog the thread...

Social media and everything in between have massively damaged the younger generations (bellow 30) for sure.

But in my opinion all that has done is just air all the opinions and everything else that was already in the world. But it just wasn't thrown in your face like it is today.

I don't spend much time on social media for that reason I spend maybe 1/2hrs a week on any social media and some weeks not at all.

Here's the thing. You don't KNOW that others are getting things easily. You can presume they are but you don't know.

Sure some people do seem to sail through life without a care in the world and seemingly only need to think something and it happens.

Others...

Well, others will have had incomprehensible trauma. They will have had to work massively internally just to stay alive, yet to onlookers they've got it easy.

People don't see the work, they just see the results.

Guess this site just hasn't done me many favours as all I get is male attention and no female attention at all really. Maybe the odd fab and wink but when I pop up they seem completely disinterested "

Right (I know I'm going all mummy here, and I really hope you're taking it as a sit down chat and not a condescending "mum thinks she knows best but she don't know shit" talking to)

You're right. Just like the perfect couple who break up.

The site itself has the ability to crush. That's not right, the site users. It's not the sites fault that people behave certain ways.

What the site does provide tho is a platform. A combined space where all kinds of people can use it for all kinds of reasons.

I rarely venture into my inbox coz the message content (if I were to take notice and take a vibe from it) would reduce me to believing I'm a nothing other than a wet hole to be used and abused by whoever, whenever and I should be thankful. My soul, my wishes, my boundaries, my humanity doesn't matter. I don't matter.

Well. I do matter. I may not matter to them but I matter to me (and a few others)

You matter.

Relying on messaging via the site will without doubt leave you feeling flat and empty. UNLESS.... you get out there. Go to social events, go to clubs, if you're into kink go to munches.

And THEN use the site to stay in touch with people you meet there. Use the site to keep up to date with what's going on in the swinging world. That's what the site is, a swinging community platform. Utilise that. Make it work for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself that’s all it takes to stand out, no one is you and that’s your power

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Dress up like a woman and be into women not men

Oh and don't be a dick, other than that just be yourself

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Thing is most men don’t put any effort in on here

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By *ingle To MingleMan
over a year ago

Swalwell

[Removed by poster at 01/02/22 13:30:09]

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By *ingle To MingleMan
over a year ago

Swalwell

Be yourself, dont insult anyone by acting like you're in an 80s porn film (people are not objects to be won) and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself (respectfully) if challenged about your point of view

Treat people equally and try to show your true personality.

And guys - sex is nice but for pity sake, have something else to talk about.

The mind is after all the biggest sex organ in the body, it needs a bit more than erotism.

Apart from that....

SOAP !!! (Can't be stressed enough)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's great for some wanking material

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right (I know I'm going all mummy here, and I really hope you're taking it as a sit down chat and not a condescending "mum thinks she knows best but she don't know shit" talking to)

You're right. Just like the perfect couple who break up.

The site itself has the ability to crush. That's not right, the site users. It's not the sites fault that people behave certain ways.

What the site does provide tho is a platform. A combined space where all kinds of people can use it for all kinds of reasons.

Well. I do matter. I may not matter to them but I matter to me (and a few others)

You matter.

Relying on messaging via the site will without doubt leave you feeling flat and empty. UNLESS.... you get out there. Go to social events, go to clubs, if you're into kink go to munches.

Yeah I know that I have got a couple of socials I am going to go to this year. One in march and one in April but I'm sure that not all of the people that do well on this site are going to socials and stuff all the time and I'm sure some don't at all. Like I know this is a community but all I can think is that people get ahead on this site cause it's about looks, size and whatever else.

It's basically tinder in my opinion to be fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thing is most men don’t put any effort in on here"

Gr8 tits

Fuck now?

(Typing one handed is quite difficult ya know)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I also think that my lack of experience does show on here a lot and people aren't interested in that. Cause I'm sure in this day and age that at my age you haven't had a good amount of people think there's something wrong with you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thing is most men don’t put any effort in on here

Gr8 tits

Fuck now?

(Typing one handed is quite difficult ya know)"

You say that but I put a lot of effort in. You can see from my profile that I have tried hard to make it good. But people are still not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’re actually looking I think it really can be luck. Are you your type’s type kinda thing. Because as many women have said many times, a well written bio and a lovely message is great but they have to actually find you attractive. You can do that and it may only get you polite rejections instead of being ignored. That’s life when it comes to a site like this where you can pretty much message anyone (unlike apps involving swiping I guess). Don’t be disheartened, fab isn’t the only place to meet women. Just come in the forums and make friends if it’s not working out imo.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you’re actually looking I think it really can be luck. Are you your type’s type kinda thing. Because as many women have said many times, a well written bio and a lovely message is great but they have to actually find you attractive. You can do that and it may only get you polite rejections instead of being ignored. That’s life when it comes to a site like this where you can pretty much message anyone (unlike apps involving swiping I guess). Don’t be disheartened, fab isn’t the only place to meet women. Just come in the forums and make friends if it’s not working out imo.

Yeah I know joining fab isn't gonna be guaranteed shags all around. Just gets a bit silly when I message 10/20 women that my type and not a single one messages back. Kinda makes it seem like you're the issue if none of them 20 find you attractive

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Right (I know I'm going all mummy here, and I really hope you're taking it as a sit down chat and not a condescending "mum thinks she knows best but she don't know shit" talking to)

You're right. Just like the perfect couple who break up.

The site itself has the ability to crush. That's not right, the site users. It's not the sites fault that people behave certain ways.

What the site does provide tho is a platform. A combined space where all kinds of people can use it for all kinds of reasons.

Well. I do matter. I may not matter to them but I matter to me (and a few others)

You matter.

Relying on messaging via the site will without doubt leave you feeling flat and empty. UNLESS.... you get out there. Go to social events, go to clubs, if you're into kink go to munches.

It's basically tinder in my opinion to be fair. "

They might not be going to socials or clubs.

They might have had some experiences like mine where they had a meet that took time and care to find. I'll call him Mr Drummer Man (not his name but he did play the drums) We had a cracking time with lots of laughter, chat and great sex.

So, he invited me to a get together with 2 other couples he knew. We weren't a couple, I was literally invited as someone he'd met once and thought was cool, who he felt was well suited to the vibe of the get together.

We all got on great and once again had a night of laughter, chat, great sex.

From there I'm now invited by those couples to other events and large parties.

People I've met over the years that all began with meeting Mr Drummer Man and the chain of events and invitations that followed have become some of my closest friends, my confidantes, my family almost.

I've probably got a good 20 verifications that all stemmed from a shared interest in music. So no, it's not all about looks, being gym fit, having a big dick etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They may have had 100 messages before yours. Some will be from really creepy men who made them feel shit. That likely kills their sex drive for the day so no matter how nice your message or how gorgeous your pics, they won't be interested. Don't take it personally.

Some may just not fancy you. Doesn't mean you're not hot. I don't fancy Jason Momoa at all but apparently he's hot.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Some may just not fancy you. Doesn't mean you're not hot. I don't fancy Jason Momoa at all but apparently he's hot.

I have to agree.

I'll openly admit I've had messages from profiles who I would have chatted to if I was in a good mood. But, due to the fact the absolute fucking shit in my inbox prior to that had got on my tits and taken away any will I had to bother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely. I get how it can impact you in that way. I’ve been there on this app and in all honesty, the best thing I ever did was use other apps to try and find what I was looking for. There simply is just too many men for everyone to be as successful as they want on here. Keep your head up pal

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plus of course echoing what the women have said. Their experience is important to remember too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right (I know I'm going all mummy here, and I really hope you're taking it as a sit down chat and not a condescending "mum thinks she knows best but she don't know shit" talking to)

You're right. Just like the perfect couple who break up.

The site itself has the ability to crush. That's not right, the site users. It's not the sites fault that people behave certain ways.

What the site does provide tho is a platform. A combined space where all kinds of people can use it for all kinds of reasons.

Well. I do matter. I may not matter to them but I matter to me (and a few others)

You matter.

Relying on messaging via the site will without doubt leave you feeling flat and empty. UNLESS.... you get out there. Go to social events, go to clubs, if you're into kink go to munches.

It's basically tinder in my opinion to be fair.

They might not be going to socials or clubs.

We all got on great and once again had a night of laughter, chat, great sex.

From there I'm now invited by those couples to other events and large parties.

I've probably got a good 20 verifications that all stemmed from a shared interest in music. So no, it's not all about looks, being gym fit, having a big dick etc.

Yeah I get you. And not to sound sexist but I'm sure a lot of your luck on here came from you being a woman on here. Women are literally platinum on here and men are just as common as coal. Couples cry for women, men cry for women and as a guy I just end up being thrown into the mix of women being put off by guys that are self entitled and expect women to feel lucky they messaged them. And I've been told and seen on here constantly that if you can't pull in real life don't expect to on here. And I don't in person so I don't really expect to on here. If I'm being honest I've kinda given up caring to try as it just seems like a waste of time so I just see it as I'll leave them to come to me as I'll probably be buried in a bulk delete 9 times out of 10 anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Off putting how?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree "

How? What is off putting?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Right (I know I'm going all mummy here, and I really hope you're taking it as a sit down chat and not a condescending "mum thinks she knows best but she don't know shit" talking to)

You're right. Just like the perfect couple who break up.

The site itself has the ability to crush. That's not right, the site users. It's not the sites fault that people behave certain ways.

What the site does provide tho is a platform. A combined space where all kinds of people can use it for all kinds of reasons.

Well. I do matter. I may not matter to them but I matter to me (and a few others)

You matter.

Relying on messaging via the site will without doubt leave you feeling flat and empty. UNLESS.... you get out there. Go to social events, go to clubs, if you're into kink go to munches.

It's basically tinder in my opinion to be fair.

They might not be going to socials or clubs.

We all got on great and once again had a night of laughter, chat, great sex.

From there I'm now invited by those couples to other events and large parties.

I've probably got a good 20 verifications that all stemmed from a shared interest in music. So no, it's not all about looks, being gym fit, having a big dick etc.

It does sound sexist.

It also sounds as though your missing my point and passing off my "luck" based on the fact I have a fanny rather than being a decent person who behaved appropriately, took the time, care and attention to chose that initial meet with Mr Drummer Man using my brain and gut instinct, and basing it on a whole picture.

I've been honest and open and I appreciate you're feeling deflated but your comments were rather belittling and disregarding in respect to how I conducted myself and the friendships and invites that followed.

I do consider myself lucky. Not to have a vagina and the attention that comes with it, but to have turned into a decent person who people want to spend time with because of who I am, not what's in between my legs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?"

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's been a long time since I was on here as a single so times may have changed but I found it fun and not at all difficult to meet people. Sadly for the rest of you guys I managed to capture the best single lady off here. I keep her well and truly locked up so she can't escape

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

The other thing to remember is that the forums only represent a small percentage of people using the site daily. They are great for conversing and making g arrangements to go to social events parties etc.

But there are lots of other profiles out there not using them that will also match your desires. Being polite, taking your time and not having a hissy fit when someone ignores you or says no is also paramount.

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By *ingle To MingleMan
over a year ago

Swalwell

I can see why a few people find a few red flags / off putting things in his profile.

But maybe he's only going for a niche playdate?

I think this might explain his lack of interaction, there's also lots of young guys on here in the same gym fit boat as him.

Best of luck mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you try to stand out and can't think what is going to make you stand out, chances are you are probably lying.

I found the best way to get talking is join in conversations and maybe go to a club. People then get to meet 'you' and you will get verifications in the process, so people will not think you are a time waster.

You're showing your cock on most of your pics.

You are NOT a bull

I wouldn't mention 'load' or 'cumslut'.

As a single guy, I wouldn't suggest that the single ladies line up for you.

I'm sure you're lovely, so be yourself more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right (I know I'm going all mummy here, and I really hope you're taking it as a sit down chat and not a condescending "mum thinks she knows best but she don't know shit" talking to)

You're right. Just like the perfect couple who break up.

The site itself has the ability to crush. That's not right, the site users. It's not the sites fault that people behave certain ways.

What the site does provide tho is a platform. A combined space where all kinds of people can use it for all kinds of reasons.

Well. I do matter. I may not matter to them but I matter to me (and a few others)

You matter.

Relying on messaging via the site will without doubt leave you feeling flat and empty. UNLESS.... you get out there. Go to social events, go to clubs, if you're into kink go to munches.

It's basically tinder in my opinion to be fair.

They might not be going to socials or clubs.

We all got on great and once again had a night of laughter, chat, great sex.

From there I'm now invited by those couples to other events and large parties.

I've probably got a good 20 verifications that all stemmed from a shared interest in music. So no, it's not all about looks, being gym fit, having a big dick etc.

Giving up caring is what led me to success I suppose here. I don't message anyone and just fab what I like and partake a small bit here. Eventually getting a message from someone at the top of the hotlist.

Think more guys should just not try. I know it seems to be a complaint when it comes to effort but tbh guys be putting 20 percent effort into people cause they only find em 20 percent attractive and its just a waste.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right (I know I'm going all mummy here, and I really hope you're taking it as a sit down chat and not a condescending "mum thinks she knows best but she don't know shit" talking to)

You're right. Just like the perfect couple who break up.

The site itself has the ability to crush. That's not right, the site users. It's not the sites fault that people behave certain ways.

What the site does provide tho is a platform. A combined space where all kinds of people can use it for all kinds of reasons.

Well. I do matter. I may not matter to them but I matter to me (and a few others)

You matter.

Relying on messaging via the site will without doubt leave you feeling flat and empty. UNLESS.... you get out there. Go to social events, go to clubs, if you're into kink go to munches.

It's basically tinder in my opinion to be fair.

They might not be going to socials or clubs.

We all got on great and once again had a night of laughter, chat, great sex.

From there I'm now invited by those couples to other events and large parties.

I've probably got a good 20 verifications that all stemmed from a shared interest in music. So no, it's not all about looks, being gym fit, having a big dick etc.

It does sound sexist.

Wasn't my intention at all to come across like that. Was just pointing it out in all fairness.

You were lucky to meet Mr drummer and to create the group that you did. I hope that one day I can meet someone like you did and for them to introduce me into the world like you were.

The last thing I am is sexist and don't want to have that kind of impression come across. I was just pointing out that the numbers game on here is more in the fem and couples favour

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask."

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you try to stand out and can't think what is going to make you stand out, chances are you are probably lying.

You're showing your cock on most of your pics.

You are NOT a bull

I wouldn't mention 'load' or 'cumslut'.

As a single guy, I wouldn't suggest that the single ladies line up for you.

I'm sure you're lovely, so be yourself more "

To be fair I just wanted to make my profile straight to the point as it states in my bio

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Hi op

It's not so much standing out,but how well you are able to connect with others.is their any chemistry but also like the look of each other are able to chat without any involvement re sexually as that is something else which can come as a bonus a person could have great communication skills but shit in the bedroom or other way around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am "

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Off putting how? "

The part about cum sluts and womens weight.

Yes it's ok to have preferences, but women will be put off by how you view them and other women.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Treat women with respect, and as if they are human beings. It might sound obvious, but so many men treat us like a wet hole.

Appreciate us too

Other than the obvious, for me that means giving the right amount of time and effort to get to know someone properly and deciding if you want to start something and not just messaging dozens of random women each week trying to get laid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi op

Think I'm the other way round to be fair haha

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Also the fact you won't send a face pic in the first 3 messages.

I wouldn't entertain anyone who can't do that .

As for pulling in the real world, even guys who are good at that, don't always do well in here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP

Please take this with the best intentions and not in a patronising way.

From what I have read, it sounds like you may benefit from some confidence building, away from fab.

Fab is not the best place when you’re not feeling your best. We’ve all been there.

Think about things that make you your happiest and try something new, relating to it.

Try one new thing a week, for the next few weeks and go out of your comfort zone, if you can. It’s amazing how doing new things, improves self-esteem and gives us some feelings of accomplishment and excitement.

It also helps with having new things to talk about, at your next social.

What gives you a rush, other than sex?!

The gym? Visiting a new restaurant? Going to the coast? Climbing a mountain? Maybe check out meet up and look at socialising with new people, with less pressure than swinging, for a bit.

Just some ideas.

We all need to take time out sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read."

Fair enough. I just thought that I would be able to approach different audiences at once. And I said the snowflake part because I don't like feeling like I'm tiptoeing around people and can speak freely without someone getting offended

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Off putting how?

The part about cum sluts and womens weight.

Yes it's ok to have preferences, but women will be put off by how you view them and other women. "

But that's a double negative. I see plenty of couples and female profiles stating that they want a certain height, build, dick size and whatever else but I can't specify that I want a certain type of lass?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also the fact you won't send a face pic in the first 3 messages.

I wouldn't entertain anyone who can't do that .

As for pulling in the real world, even guys who are good at that, don't always do well in here"

And why is that any different to most couples and singles profiles that state that they aren't gonna give out their face pics to just anyone?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

Just because cumslut will put many people off, there will be some that it appeals to. The question is, do those that see themselves that way really appeal to you or did ya just think it sounded cool and a bit kinky? If the answer is yes, those who see themselves that way are who you're trying to get on your radar then keep it.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Off putting how?

The part about cum sluts and womens weight.

Yes it's ok to have preferences, but women will be put off by how you view them and other women.

You can omit the "if you're over weight you're not for me" part. You've said what you like, that's enough

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"Thing is most men don’t put any effort in on here"

agreed.

Just saying Hi gives the impression this person doesn't care enough to take this anywhere.

Asking "How are you?" isn't going to cut it with us either. We get loads of those and they get ignorred.

Asking "what are you doing/up to?" isn't going to make us find time to meet somebody either.

Make your approaches a LOT more dynamic then you might actually get somewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am "

I don't think anyone said it's toxic. You find some things offputting ... so they can too.

I'm a fat old bird and don't like cum. So your profile put me off- but that's a good thing as I won't ask you to shag me.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Off putting how?

The part about cum sluts and womens weight.

Yes it's ok to have preferences, but women will be put off by how you view them and other women.

Course ya can.

Did you need to say "no fatties" without using those words tho? But again, if that's how you think and speak, then keep it. It'll appeal to those with the same mindset.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Also the fact you won't send a face pic in the first 3 messages.

I wouldn't entertain anyone who can't do that .

As for pulling in the real world, even guys who are good at that, don't always do well in here

And why is that any different to most couples and singles profiles that state that they aren't gonna give out their face pics to just anyone? "

It always helps... Just saying... That's where the attraction lies for most people. Not a person's private parts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi OP

Please take this with the best intentions and not in a patronising way.

From what I have read, it sounds like you may benefit from some confidence building, away from fab.

Fab is not the best place when you’re not feeling your best. We’ve all been there.

Think about things that make you your happiest and try something new, relating to it.

It also helps with having new things to talk about, at your next social.

What gives you a rush, other than sex?!

The gym? Visiting a new restaurant? Going to the coast? Climbing a mountain? Maybe check out meet up and look at socialising with new people, with less pressure than swinging, for a bit.

Just some ideas.

We all need to take time out sometimes.

Don't see this a patronising at all. I see your point. I have hobbies and interests. I cycle both on and off road, I go to the gym, I'm an engineering student at uni and I have other things I like. I'm just crap at writing bios. The one thing I have never been able to do is put myself across in the best possible way.

I understand where you're coming from when you say time away but to be fair, that's not what I need really. Yes my self confidence has taken a hit but that's not just from this site. That's from other factors too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Off putting how?

The part about cum sluts and womens weight.

Yes it's ok to have preferences, but women will be put off by how you view them and other women.

Yes of course you can state whatever you want, nobody has said you can’t.

All what has been said is they’ve found it off putting and that’s totally fine - you’re not for them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

I'm into rough kinky sex as much as I am into the intimate and sensual side of sex too. It just depends on my mood on that particular day to be fair. I am a Dom (yes I know guys say that all the time) and have had a Dom sub relationship in the past and liked the aspect of that. I don't plaster that on my profile as I know that puts a lot of people off as they just assume I want to have rough sex all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

If you expanding on being Dom, and showed your knowledge on that, consent and boundaries, then it won’t put off the right people for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thing is most men don’t put any effort in on here

agreed.

Just saying Hi gives the impression this person doesn't care enough to take this anywhere.

Asking "How are you?" isn't going to cut it with us either. We get loads of those and they get ignorred.

Asking "what are you doing/up to?" isn't going to make us find time to meet somebody either.

Make your approaches a LOT more dynamic then you might actually get somewhere."

This is an example of a message that I sent to a couple. The convo was going great and it was looking like they actually wanted to meet then just ignored out of the blue.

It's the first actual convo I've had with someone in ages.

It was talking about a status they put up. They never did send a pic to show me them.

This is something that I have been interested in for a while but have never had the chance to try it. Any chance of seeing who I'm talking to?

I also added a clothed pic of me with my face blocked

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

I don't believe anyone who states they're a dom, especially at such a young age and limited life experience. Even moreso one that doesn't seem to grasp so much.

So... trying to help you here.

What is it about being a Dom that you love?

Do you KNOW that puts a lot of people off, or do you just presume that's what they'd think even tho you could quite easily write that you're also into the intimate sensual side?

Oh, and that's another reason I don't believe you're a "dom".

I shan't explain it, I’ll leave you to grow somewhat and work it out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

If you expanding on being Dom, and showed your knowledge on that, consent and boundaries, then it won’t put off the right people for you. "

But when they ask and I say I've only done it with once lass I was in a relationship with they'll look at me like I'm inexperienced and dangerous right? As an inexperienced Dom is dangerous if they don't know what they're doing

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

I'm glad it wasn't just me who thought that

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"How do you find fab as a single guy?"

Dispiriting. The effort-to-reward ratio is not favourable.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I love Fab as a single guy. Love it.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

If you expanding on being Dom, and showed your knowledge on that, consent and boundaries, then it won’t put off the right people for you.

Am I a horserider if I've only been riding once?

Am I fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi OP

Please take this with the best intentions and not in a patronising way.

From what I have read, it sounds like you may benefit from some confidence building, away from fab.

Fab is not the best place when you’re not feeling your best. We’ve all been there.

Think about things that make you your happiest and try something new, relating to it.

It also helps with having new things to talk about, at your next social.

What gives you a rush, other than sex?!

The gym? Visiting a new restaurant? Going to the coast? Climbing a mountain? Maybe check out meet up and look at socialising with new people, with less pressure than swinging, for a bit.

Just some ideas.

We all need to take time out sometimes.

You’re a busy person with long term goals, clearly.

So, be the person that you are happiest with, before you try and attract people. A few words on your profile is not going to sell you but, your confidence, approach to life and ability to hold a decent conversation will.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we can’t rely on other fabbers to make us feel valid and happy. We need to work on ourselves before we can please anyone else.

Your bio isn’t necessarily going to catch someone’s eye unless they find you physically attractive first (in most cases - I appreciate everyone is different) face pics for the win. Be respectful and only message those who want to hear from you.

Too many times I’ve seen “I need…” “I want” written by single men….turn it around. why do we want you? Why do we need to meet you?

It’s a list of attractive qualities about yourself and what you can offer someone else, not a list of your turn offs.

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By *ingle To MingleMan
over a year ago

Swalwell

Dont forget - it's up to the individual to put whatever they want on a profile, couple's included.

So you're well within your rights to ask for whatever you want, to be rejected for it, and for others to set their own standards and expectations too for you to reject if you want to.

Plus (and please don't take this as an insult) but you've only been an adult for a very short time compared to most on here, so you still have a lot to learn.

Just like learning to walk, don't get too disheartened if you fall over from time to time.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Join in with forum and cam room chat o/p. Lots of topics up for discussion. Sense of humour goes a long way good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

I don't believe anyone who states they're a dom, especially at such a young age and limited life experience. Even moreso one that doesn't seem to grasp so much.

So... trying to help you here.

What is it about being a Dom that you love?

Do you KNOW that puts a lot of people off, or do you just presume that's what they'd think even tho you could quite easily write that you're also into the intimate sensual side?

Oh, and that's another reason I don't believe you're a "dom".

I shan't explain it, I’ll leave you to grow somewhat and work it out."

I have had a Dom sub relationship where we had both sensual and full Dom sub scenarios.

My age doesn't really mean anything as you don't know how long I've been in the life. I had online subs from 18 to 21 as they were over 100 miles away from me. We'd have a chat that would turn into sexting that would lead to me playing Dom (edging etc) and then it would lead to aftercare after it had finished.

During the time I was talking to them I was also talking to experienced Dom's and pro Dom's that explained everything to me. I did a great deal of research I to the lifestyle as I know the mental damage an inexperienced Dom can deal on someone. Especially if they have had any kind of past trauma. And that is what I would always talk about before initiating any kind of scenario so that I knew the boundaries and what lines not to cross.

Why does enjoying sensual sex mean I'm not a Dom also?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

If you expanding on being Dom, and showed your knowledge on that, consent and boundaries, then it won’t put off the right people for you.

No not necessarily, Just be honest, careful , respectful and don’t do things you’re uncomfortable with. It’s not like some test you pass, you learn from every partner , every experience and become more comfortable doing things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

If you expanding on being Dom, and showed your knowledge on that, consent and boundaries, then it won’t put off the right people for you.

Am I a horserider if I've only been riding once?

Am I fuck."

Read a reply I just made and you will understand what I have actually done to prove myself as a Dom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

If you expanding on being Dom, and showed your knowledge on that, consent and boundaries, then it won’t put off the right people for you.

I think dropping the dom label is always good. I've been to many groups and places and carried that label with me. There's going to be expectations with it, expectations that vary wildly from person to person. Not worth the minefield of it tbh. People usually arent that kind with how they approach it either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what you're looking for.

Some say it's a complete waste of time and others like wasting their time on here!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi OP

Please take this with the best intentions and not in a patronising way.

From what I have read, it sounds like you may benefit from some confidence building, away from fab.

Fab is not the best place when you’re not feeling your best. We’ve all been there.

Think about things that make you your happiest and try something new, relating to it.

It also helps with having new things to talk about, at your next social.

What gives you a rush, other than sex?!

The gym? Visiting a new restaurant? Going to the coast? Climbing a mountain? Maybe check out meet up and look at socialising with new people, with less pressure than swinging, for a bit.

Just some ideas.

We all need to take time out sometimes.

You’re a busy person with long term goals, clearly.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we can’t rely on other fabbers to make us feel valid and happy. We need to work on ourselves before we can please anyone else.

Too many times I’ve seen “I need…” “I want” written by single men….turn it around. why do we want you? Why do we need to meet you?

It’s a list of attractive qualities about yourself and what you can offer someone else, not a list of your turn offs."

I thought I did that? What else can I say?

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"Thing is most men don’t put any effort in on here

agreed.

Just saying Hi gives the impression this person doesn't care enough to take this anywhere.

Asking "How are you?" isn't going to cut it with us either. We get loads of those and they get ignorred.

Asking "what are you doing/up to?" isn't going to make us find time to meet somebody either.

Make your approaches a LOT more dynamic then you might actually get somewhere.

This is an example of a message that I sent to a couple. The convo was going great and it was looking like they actually wanted to meet then just ignored out of the blue.

It's the first actual convo I've had with someone in ages.

It was talking about a status they put up. They never did send a pic to show me them.

This is something that I have been interested in for a while but have never had the chance to try it. Any chance of seeing who I'm talking to?

I also added a clothed pic of me with my face blocked"

sorry to hear you were blanked... seems like the art of polite reply even if it is a thanks but no thanks is thin on the ground here... I have sadly encountered many a member who says they don't owe anyone a reply, which I do understand, but it would be nice to be told, not left wondering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Join with an open mind, keep your expectations realistic and be polite & honest and who knows what might happen

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Even though I'm out of your age range, there are certain things in your profile that are massively off putting.

It is good that you've written more than 3 lines though.

Having read it, I would agree

How? What is off putting?

Are you asking for comments on your profile? People can't say unless you ask.

As people are saying that my bio is toxic yes I am

I didn’t say it was toxic

. I said there are a couple of off putting things.

A lot women don’t like being called cumsluts and aren’t keen on heavy loads either.

Can’t bear the term snowflake, for me this means “I can be as offensive as I like, and if you call me out, I’ll call you a snowflake”

Not saying this is what you are doing, but that’s what it makes me think.

Those are the things that stood out on a very quick skim read.

Remember.. it ain't about approaching different audiences at once if you're after something that will actually be stored in your "good times" box. It's about reaching the right ones for you.

I don't believe anyone who states they're a dom, especially at such a young age and limited life experience. Even moreso one that doesn't seem to grasp so much.

So... trying to help you here.

What is it about being a Dom that you love?

Do you KNOW that puts a lot of people off, or do you just presume that's what they'd think even tho you could quite easily write that you're also into the intimate sensual side?

Oh, and that's another reason I don't believe you're a "dom".

I shan't explain it, I’ll leave you to grow somewhat and work it out.

I have had a Dom sub relationship where we had both sensual and full Dom sub scenarios.

Why does enjoying sensual sex mean I'm not a Dom also?"

So you’ve researched but not been to any munches etc where you could meet people. May be something to put on your to do list.

You think you're experienced and you are to some degree, but you do have limited experience. There's fuck all wrong with that. What I'm finding that's grinding my gears is that you'll be open and honest once pushed by us on this thread.

You've just said yourself, you can be a dom and enjoy sensual sex. So why are you assuming that everyone will think you'll only want rough sex?

Rough and dom don't even have to go hand in hand. That's why I'm saying I don't think you get it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thing is most men don’t put any effort in on here

agreed.

Just saying Hi gives the impression this person doesn't care enough to take this anywhere.

Asking "How are you?" isn't going to cut it with us either. We get loads of those and they get ignorred.

Asking "what are you doing/up to?" isn't going to make us find time to meet somebody either.

Make your approaches a LOT more dynamic then you might actually get somewhere.

This is an example of a message that I sent to a couple. The convo was going great and it was looking like they actually wanted to meet then just ignored out of the blue.

It's the first actual convo I've had with someone in ages.

It was talking about a status they put up. They never did send a pic to show me them.

This is something that I have been interested in for a while but have never had the chance to try it. Any chance of seeing who I'm talking to?

I also added a clothed pic of me with my face blocked

I understand why most don't as they just get guys giving them 20 questions and then giving a load of abuse when their fragile entitled egos are hurt by rejection

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have had a Dom sub relationship where we had both sensual and full Dom sub scenarios.

Why does enjoying sensual sex mean I'm not a Dom also?

So you’ve researched but not been to any munches etc where you could meet people. May be something to put on your to do list.

You've just said yourself, you can be a dom and enjoy sensual sex. So why are you assuming that everyone will think you'll only want rough sex?

Rough and dom don't even have to go hand in hand. That's why I'm saying I don't think you get it."

Yeah I get where you're coming from now. But from conversations I've had with people rough sex tends to get thrown into the Dom sub category. Maybe I've spoken to the wrong people that don't understand that dynamic great.

I'll be honest. It's been a while since I've played dom so yes I would not be ideal for a person that is wanting an experienced Dom to push then to their limits in a safe trusted manner.

I once did look into attending munches but I could never find any. I tried joining fet but I could never get the grasp of the dynamic of the website so I decided not to keep my profile on there.

The fact of the matter is... When it comes to the dating world I am a novice. There are no 2 ways about that. It's just never been something I've been able to get the grasp of in all fairness. It's always been a foreign language to me and that's probably why I don't so well I person or on here. But I joined this site originally to explore my kink side more and it manifested into just looking for casual sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have given my profile a quick update if you want to take a second look

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

It’s not too bad but the emojis are childish and I would get rid of them. Just crop your head off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s not too bad but the emojis are childish and I would get rid of them. Just crop your head off. "

Childish? Really? I just figured that a complete crop would look bad

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By *ingle To MingleMan
over a year ago

Swalwell

"It’s not too bad but the emojis are childish and I would get rid of them. Just crop your head off.

Childish? Really? I just figured that a complete crop would look bad "

One emoji maybe but stop at one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi OP

Please take this with the best intentions and not in a patronising way.

From what I have read, it sounds like you may benefit from some confidence building, away from fab.

Fab is not the best place when you’re not feeling your best. We’ve all been there.

Think about things that make you your happiest and try something new, relating to it.

It also helps with having new things to talk about, at your next social.

What gives you a rush, other than sex?!

The gym? Visiting a new restaurant? Going to the coast? Climbing a mountain? Maybe check out meet up and look at socialising with new people, with less pressure than swinging, for a bit.

Just some ideas.

We all need to take time out sometimes.

You’re a busy person with long term goals, clearly.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we can’t rely on other fabbers to make us feel valid and happy. We need to work on ourselves before we can please anyone else.

Too many times I’ve seen “I need…” “I want” written by single men….turn it around. why do we want you? Why do we need to meet you?

It’s a list of attractive qualities about yourself and what you can offer someone else, not a list of your turn offs.

I thought I did that? What else can I say? "

Just read your profile - it seems ok!

A bit long but, it certainly says what you are looking for.

Delete the two photos where your body is about 12 feet away from the mirror. Can hardly see you.

Good luck and happy fabbin’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say I find it somewhat ironic seeing men complain about how hard it is for them (no pun intended). Our entire society from top to bottom has men at an advantage to women. If there’s one teeny tiny place where that’s not so I tend to think we all just need to deal with it.

Let’s face it we have it far easier than women from periods to childbirth to careers and life chances. I’ve got two kids, a boy and a girl and I’m acutely aware who is going to need to work considerably harder…

Anyways please don’t take my comments as ‘woke’ or whatever other bollocks. These are my opinions but I’m sure the sentiment is shared by many women and men here and out in the real world.

Good luck by the way!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi OP

Please take this with the best intentions and not in a patronising way.

From what I have read, it sounds like you may benefit from some confidence building, away from fab.

Fab is not the best place when you’re not feeling your best. We’ve all been there.

Think about things that make you your happiest and try something new, relating to it.

It also helps with having new things to talk about, at your next social.

What gives you a rush, other than sex?!

The gym? Visiting a new restaurant? Going to the coast? Climbing a mountain? Maybe check out meet up and look at socialising with new people, with less pressure than swinging, for a bit.

Just some ideas.

We all need to take time out sometimes.

You’re a busy person with long term goals, clearly.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we can’t rely on other fabbers to make us feel valid and happy. We need to work on ourselves before we can please anyone else.

Too many times I’ve seen “I need…” “I want” written by single men….turn it around. why do we want you? Why do we need to meet you?

It’s a list of attractive qualities about yourself and what you can offer someone else, not a list of your turn offs.

I thought I did that? What else can I say?

Just read your profile - it seems ok!

A bit long but, it certainly says what you are looking for.

Delete the two photos where your body is about 12 feet away from the mirror. Can hardly see you.

Good luck and happy fabbin’ "

The ones in the window? I thought they were decent

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I have given my profile a quick update if you want to take a second look "

Much better, well done for actually taking the advice given. So many don't!

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Thing is most men don’t put any effort in on here

agreed.

Just saying Hi gives the impression this person doesn't care enough to take this anywhere.

Asking "How are you?" isn't going to cut it with us either. We get loads of those and they get ignorred.

Asking "what are you doing/up to?" isn't going to make us find time to meet somebody either.

Make your approaches a LOT more dynamic then you might actually get somewhere.

This is an example of a message that I sent to a couple. The convo was going great and it was looking like they actually wanted to meet then just ignored out of the blue.

It's the first actual convo I've had with someone in ages.

It was talking about a status they put up. They never did send a pic to show me them.

This is something that I have been interested in for a while but have never had the chance to try it. Any chance of seeing who I'm talking to?

I also added a clothed pic of me with my face blocked

I understand why most don't as they just get guys giving them 20 questions and then giving a load of abuse when their fragile entitled egos are hurt by rejection "

Wow a single man who understands why women don't always reply

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

The new profile is so much better! You'll probably have more success but please just promise you'll never send "wanna f*ck" as your first message to anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A glow in the dark penis? "

Depends on if it's yellow or green

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The new profile is so much better! You'll probably have more success but please just promise you'll never send "wanna f*ck" as your first message to anyone"

I have never sent a message like that. I appreciate your vote of confidence but I'll tell you I'm skeptical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Draw some tape measure markings on your penis. It works……allegedly

Mm. Cm or inches?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just have patience and don't be knob to anyone,eventually you'll find what you're looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given up trying to understand it..

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"People want to stand out, to be different. I see it said lots.

There's 1 you in this world.

If that's not unique then what is?!

Don't try to be what you think others want.

Just be authentic. That's the truest and most loving thing you could do for yourself and for others.

Admins, give this post a thread of its own and lock it forever. It’s probably the best thing to have graced these forums.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"A glow in the dark penis?

Depends on if it's yellow or green "

Luminous Pink ... all girls want pink! Obviously

...and cake

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

I use fab for me. I don’t try and stand out just to get attention. If it happens it happens. I’ve had meets,and I’ve had chats with some very genuine people who I consider friends now.being a single man in here is ok

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

I'm very glad you removed 'cumslut' from your profile- I'm not in your ideal meet category, but for many of us, that term makes my fanny drier than a rich tea biscuit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We actually met at a party as two singles and after a bit of dating he started to tell me about life as a single guy and dear god I have pity for them, he was lucky in he had some skill that helped him stand out but still some of the replies he got back from.messages where shocking

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We actually met at a party as two singles and after a bit of dating he started to tell me about life as a single guy and dear god I have pity for them, he was lucky in he had some skill that helped him stand out but still some of the replies he got back from.messages where shocking"

I'm lucky to get a reply haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm lucky to get a reply haha "

Most guys are but himself always said that most guys dont really make enough effort to stand out, most pictures are similar, no profile filled out or filled out badly and his haveing grace, he got out to clubs and meet and greets, it also helped that he was hired by clubs over here to do shows hahaha

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By *otKitty400Woman
over a year ago

hinckley

"Thing is most men don’t put any effort in on here

Gr8 tits

Fuck now?

(Typing one handed is quite difficult ya know)"

Yes, just this!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm lucky to get a reply haha

Guess he got lucky then. I also feel like younger guys on here are seen as desperate and not picky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very glad you removed 'cumslut' from your profile- I'm not in your ideal meet category, but for many of us, that term makes my fanny drier than a rich tea biscuit

agreed! X

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"People want to stand out, to be different. I see it said lots.

There's 1 you in this world.

If that's not unique then what is?!

Don't try to be what you think others want.

Just be authentic. That's the truest and most loving thing you could do for yourself and for others.

Admins, give this post a thread of its own and lock it forever. It’s probably the best thing to have graced these forums.

Thank you

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

It's been very fulfilling and life changing, even if I have mostly withdrawn from meeting now.

Too much good advice has already been provided. Some people, despite the available tips and advice just don't "get it" and have no success. I didn't follow any formulas, read any FAQ's or started threads asking for guidance. Just plotted my course and was able to "get it" on my own. Quite proud of that

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