FabSwingers.com forum: What stops you?

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Definitely fear of rejection for me. I hardly ever send a first message, the most I would do is wink and don’t even do that often.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That I'll say something I find funny and they won't get it, then I have to go through the whole spiel of explaining it and then it becomes awkward.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"Definitely fear of rejection for me. I hardly ever send a first message, the most I would do is wink and don’t even do that often.

Kx"

I’d say go for it! You’re an attractive couple and i’m sure if you messaged someone first, they’d reply else they’re crazy

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't send messages at all. Haven't done in 2 years.

I've no interest in chatting to lots of people and I never gauge attraction by profiles alone.

When I was sending messages the only thing that stopped me from messaging anyone was if we had very little in common or their profile wasn't consistent.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

When I did, nothing stopped me. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iobhan123Woman
over a year ago

Deal

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "

Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aside from the obvious self esteem stuff, it’s mostly that none of the people I like on here are local and I don’t fancy wine time thing.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Nah nothing stops us

if we like someone we just go for it

if we aren't for them or they aren't attracted to us then that is absolutely no problem at all and we will wish them happy fabbing anyway

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!

Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous

Thank you lovely xxx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "

You’re hot!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aside from the obvious self esteem stuff, it’s mostly that none of the people I like on here are local and I don’t fancy wine time thing.

"
a one time thing*. I fancy wine all the time.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Distance I'm the wrong age/sex/bald/size etc. This is the trouble with reading profiles before messaging

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ruebameMan
over a year ago

from the womb and tryout to get back

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!

Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous

No one is ever punching above there weight everyone has different preferences but that is it you look amazing to me pluck up that courage and go for it you never know unless you try

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *blasiansCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We're both quite shy so always been nervous but we found referrals has been best way for us before we send a message.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!

Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous

No one is ever punching above there weight everyone has different preferences but that is it you look amazing to me pluck up that courage and go for it you never know unless you try

Lovely of you to say so! Thank you xx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I think I'm a bit weird for this site because if I see something I like, whether that's something funny written on a profile or a well-taken photo or a gorgeous bit of lingerie I tend to just send a message to say so.

Yes there is a fair amount of rejection but I don't pin all my hopes to the messages I send so I'm not devastated if I'm not what they're looking for. I just like to say when I appreciate someone.

I do get a tiny minority of abusive responses and a fair chunk of messages get ignored, but I've also had great conversations and met people I'd never have bumped into otherwise because they'd never have noticed my profile while I was sitting there waiting for them to make contact.

I'm no longer actively looking on this site so the volume of messages I send has dropped significantly, but I still send them when I see something I like.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to admit to being a very passive user of Fab over the years. Fortunately there's been enough people willing to send messages to not need to be proactive.

Obviously I'm talking about as a couple's profile. Nobody would ever message me individually on this profile and likewise I wouldn't bother trying to message anyone myself for the same reason.

As a couple most (maybe all) of the single men we met were via 'meet todays' so maybe that's the best strategy for single blokes. It was for us anyway

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "

I find this very hard to believe haha

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"Nah nothing stops us

if we like someone we just go for it

if we aren't for them or they aren't attracted to us then that is absolutely no problem at all and we will wish them happy fabbing anyway

I believe we have a similar mindset

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!

I find this very hard to believe haha

Thank you

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ndyn50000Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Nothing stops me. I always expect to be ignored or blocked (or both) so any other outcome is a bonus!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iobhan123Woman
over a year ago

Deal

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!

Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous

Thank you lovely xxx"

You are beautiful, never let yourself feel inferior or not good enough for anyone, if they feel you are punching, they are stupidly egotistical

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *onkeynutWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I see lots of profiles that I’m attracted to. I don’t tend to message because it’s likely I’d be punching

Plus a fear of rejection

I might wink but don’t often do that either

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

99% of messages go unopened, lost in a sea of “hi” messages

I’ve better things to do with my time

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uietly_KinkyMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Knowing that it's a waste of time and electrons.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's because I know it wouldn't go any further.

If they look out of my league, I just won't bother to message.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

I won’t message someone I fancy if location is an issue….I find it rather pointless as I’m not into the one time thing!

If there is a person I fancy to that is local then I will most certainly wink, fab a pic and send a message in the hope that;

1. They notice it

2. They read it

3. They reply to it

It’s rare I get any of the above from the women I fancy but it hasn’t knocked my confidence yet!!

Nothing ventured…nothing gained in my opinion!!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I avoid profiles who describe theirselves as 'gym fit' or talk about body image too much. I wouldn't message them or reply because I feel like they would judge my wobbly bits.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only thing stopping me messaging someone I fancy, is going to be profile related. I’m not their type, don’t fit their preferences, don’t match in what we seek.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *DogsFriendMan
over a year ago

London

The time and effort I put into a message to either.

1. Be unread

2. Be ignored.

Never used to be like this on here.... dono what's changed.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What ever it is I wish the ladies could get the courage up and know I woukd love their nessages.

Obviously nerves,fear of rejection or insecurity is why I never get any messages.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "

Really? I find that hard to believe.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *heGriswoldsCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Confidence stops me…. I tend to look at their profile and pics of previous meets and think, well….what’s the point in bothering as I’d never measure up!!

Even if it went as far as a meet, I’d feel

Like I never quite measured up to someone else!! X

(Mrs G) x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

Nothing really stops us.

We are looking for a giggle and some fun, not a partner or new husband / wife.

If it's a no thanks, just move on, no issue, no drama.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "
i would have thought most guys would have thought you were well out of their league and reach as a lovely sexy lady,,,

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Fear mainly.

As a transwoman (and fairly early in transitioning) who is predominantly attracted to woman, I'm not very confident.

And mentally I'm stuck at a hurdle of - if a woman wants to play with a woman, there are tons of gorgeous women on this site so why would they want a transwoman?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fear of rejection

Plus i read profiles and see if i match what they want.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"I avoid profiles who describe theirselves as 'gym fit' or talk about body image too much. I wouldn't message them or reply because I feel like they would judge my wobbly bits. "

This is understandable but for the record, I think you have a great body!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"Confidence stops me…. I tend to look at their profile and pics of previous meets and think, well….what’s the point in bothering as I’d never measure up!!

Even if it went as far as a meet, I’d feel

Like I never quite measured up to someone else!! X

(Mrs G) x"

There’s definitely no harm in trying. Is there anything in particular that makes you feel less confident?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more A sexual so I rarely message first because most profiles I've come across are hyper sexual. I need more substance lol.

I do message if I like the look of someone

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!

Really? I find that hard to believe. "

Thank you for that

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"The time and effort I put into a message to either.

1. Be unread

2. Be ignored.

Never used to be like this on here.... dono what's changed."

Its a little more difficult now as there’s a lot more men than women so most woman get a shit tonne of messages daily. But don’t let this stop you from trying! I’m sure many women would respond to your message

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! i would have thought most guys would have thought you were well out of their league and reach as a lovely sexy lady,,,

That's lovely, thank you x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooft so many things stop me - fear of rejection, imposter syndrome, lack of self esteem. I will say these things are getting better but I still very very rarely message someone I find attractive.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

I won’t message someone I fancy if location is an issue….I find it rather pointless as I’m not into the one time thing!

If there is a person I fancy to that is local then I will most certainly wink, fab a pic and send a message in the hope that;

1. They notice it

2. They read it

3. They reply to it

It’s rare I get any of the above from the women I fancy but it hasn’t knocked my confidence yet!!

Nothing ventured…nothing gained in my opinion!!"

It good that you don’t let it knock your confidence.

There’s a lot of factors that go against us men when we send a message. I think there is no harm in sending another messages to someone, if your first message was missed and unread?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"Fear mainly.

As a transwoman (and fairly early in transitioning) who is predominantly attracted to woman, I'm not very confident.

And mentally I'm stuck at a hurdle of - if a woman wants to play with a woman, there are tons of gorgeous women on this site so why would they want a transwoman?"

I’m sure there are a lot of women that would be up for this! You’ve just got to have a little patience and wait for them to come

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"Nothing really stops us.

We are looking for a giggle and some fun, not a partner or new husband / wife.

If it's a no thanks, just move on, no issue, no drama.

This

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing stands in my way.

What's the worst that could happen? They say no? Oh well! I'll suck it up and forget about it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

What stops me is do I have time and mental energy for what might happen next. The answers usually no, it would be unfair

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"Nothing stands in my way.

What's the worst that could happen? They say no? Oh well! I'll suck it up and forget about it. "

Yhhh but who would say no?

If anyone does say no, send them my way for questioning.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"What stops me is do I have time and mental energy for what might happen next. The answers usually no, it would be unfair "

I sometimes do this which is why at times I just wink at someone that I find attractive because I can’t be bothered to message

Yep I know i’m lazy

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

The only thing that would stop me is if a unsavoury/incompatible comment was made by him on the forums. That's rapidly stopped me in my tracks before.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No point I'm ugly as hell so they would never reply anyway so why bother

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Lack of desire to. If I really, really wanted to, I'd probably put on my big girl pants and message them. For whatever reason, even casting aside my self doubt that creeps in, it boils down to me not really wanting to.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ysyphusMan
over a year ago

Starbase K-7

"No point I'm ugly as hell so they would never reply anyway so why bother "

The women want you for the cache of being on the arm of El Presidente, men want to be you.

Your biggest drawback is your standpoint on J-ffa C-kes.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Nothing. The worst thing that will happen is they don't reply. That's not going to cause me any harm

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Nothing. The worst thing that will happen is they don't reply. That's not going to cause me any harm

Unless their profile is clear about not liking fat birds of course

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ysyphusMan
over a year ago

Starbase K-7

"Lack of desire to. If I really, really wanted to, I'd probably put on my big girl pants and message them. For whatever reason, even casting aside my self doubt that creeps in, it boils down to me not really wanting to. "

I'd rather women took OFF their big girl pants.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

The only time I ever message first is for a thread like a Face pic friday, where I can see people are interested in being contacted generally, otherwise I wait to see who messages me then at least I know they have some level of interest, and it doesn’t help that I’m in another country so the distance thing is a big deal.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never think I would be good enough or that they would ever be interested in me

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

I tried that twice and got rejected. I didn’t see the point in doing it again after that.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'd rather women took OFF their big girl pants.

This is where I've been going wrong all along. I'll try and remember to take them off more offen.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No point I'm ugly as hell so they would never reply anyway so why bother

The women want you for the cache of being on the arm of El Presidente, men want to be you.

Your biggest drawback is your standpoint on J-ffa C-kes."

What a load of tosh

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve not sent a 1st message to someone for a long time. Especially not if they don’t use the forum. The amount of times I see “sorry bulk deleted messages” statuses. In my opinion it’s just not worth it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either rejection or a lack of any reply at all has taught me unless I’m sure then don’t bother. It’s a waste of my time

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"I never think I would be good enough or that they would ever be interested in me"

Thats rubbish! Maybe I’m interested…

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue! "

She’s a hard woman to please ^^

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because i probably had a wank instead

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue!

She’s a hard woman to please ^^

Nah. To be honest I’m happy with what I have anyway so not really looking. Not hard to please just on the wrong site for what I wanted. I like the forums though so I’m staying

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

I won’t message someone I fancy if location is an issue….I find it rather pointless as I’m not into the one time thing!

If there is a person I fancy to that is local then I will most certainly wink, fab a pic and send a message in the hope that;

1. They notice it

2. They read it

3. They reply to it

It’s rare I get any of the above from the women I fancy but it hasn’t knocked my confidence yet!!

Nothing ventured…nothing gained in my opinion!!

It good that you don’t let it knock your confidence.

There’s a lot of factors that go against us men when we send a message. I think there is no harm in sending another messages to someone, if your first message was missed and unread? "

Oh I’ll never send another message…if I’m lost amongst the thousands of others I’ll just accept and move on

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

I only message first, and I've no issue with it... but half the time I see the distance inbetween in miles and think it's just not going to be an option

There is only so much keyboard warrior online flirting you can do

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

[Removed by poster at 30/01/22 20:16:05]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue!

She’s a hard woman to please ^^

Nah. To be honest I’m happy with what I have anyway so not really looking. Not hard to please just on the wrong site for what I wanted. I like the forums though so I’m staying

Aww you've found someone! I hope it lasts and brings you happiness.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!

Really? I find that hard to believe.

Thank you for that

The world would be a better place if people payed compliments to others.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Distance. Assumption they wouldn't be interested.

There are some people who I resisted messaging admiring from a far who returned my message we get on well and will hopefully get it on with.

Then there are others who've totally snubbed me after admiring from afar.

Can't win them all.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Distance, not meeting their requirement. If we feel we meet the requirements and are looking to meet then we will message.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"Because i probably had a wank instead

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Nothing

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!

Really? I find that hard to believe.

Thank you for that

The world would be a better place if people payed compliments to others. "

That would just make it more fickle and sickly

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never think I would be good enough or that they would ever be interested in me

Thats rubbish! Maybe I’m interested…

Are you? Ooh

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ysyphusMan
over a year ago

Starbase K-7

I'd rather women took OFF their big girl pants.

This is where I've been going wrong all along. I'll try and remember to take them off more offen.

Glad to be of assistance!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I think they haven’t read my profile, seen I’m a large woman so I won’t be what they are looking for!

I deffo stop my own progress and it’s annoying. I would love a sexy mature LTFB

Sigh

I love sensual intimacy but then stop it

Why????

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I'm not looking to meet, but when I was nothing would stop me. As long as I hadn't found anything on their profile that put me off I'd just send a message. What's the worst that could happen?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue!

She’s a hard woman to please ^^

Nah. To be honest I’m happy with what I have anyway so not really looking. Not hard to please just on the wrong site for what I wanted. I like the forums though so I’m staying

Aww you've found someone! I hope it lasts and brings you happiness.

Aw thanks Meli but no not a particular someone as such. Just very happy with life etc right now especially after the past couple years! Hope you’re good and hope to see you in manc

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing

Don't ask you don't get.

If it's a no or no reply that's fine.

Had meets with ladies in past we didn't think for one minute would be interested due to us making the first move , so to speak

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Because after reading various “what do guys look for” threads on here it’s quite clear that I’m not really anyone’s type.

So I don’t bother.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *edonist79Man
over a year ago

Trowbridge

If I'm interested usually I'll message.

Recently I haven't been though as fitness is in the toilet from a back injury, lockdown and long covid. Don't want to be out of breath in a few minutes so waiting until I've got my fitness back up.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aughtyandhandsomeMan
over a year ago

button moon

Never had a problem in the past messaging someone. Usually I’m a confident person where that was concerned. Just recently I’ve wondered why I’m here and what I do actually want so not been messaging anyone only general chit chat with the odd friend. The last couple of years have been tough on so many levels. Maybe there might be one on here who I should message but unsure

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally don't message people at all now unless I have had an interaction on the forums.

Basically I gave up, got to demoralising.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many variables to consider like technological and interpersonal. Busy bee so I attend club nights when I can and open to hotels for those that I’ve met in person.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because after reading various “what do guys look for” threads on here it’s quite clear that I’m not really anyone’s type.

So I don’t bother.

Nah that’s not true one bit. I’ve just looked. You’re sexy as hell and for sure my type! Also read some of your work too. Bloody amazing! I’m telling ya body and mind just… stunner

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Because after reading various “what do guys look for” threads on here it’s quite clear that I’m not really anyone’s type.

So I don’t bother.

Not so sure about that.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Fear of rejection and of ridicule

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *leecouple101Couple
over a year ago

North East Lincolnshire

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "

That is highly unlikely xx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely fear of rejection for me. I hardly ever send a first message, the most I would do is wink and don’t even do that often.

Kx"

They would need to be daft to reject you

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *astpoetMan
over a year ago

where the world takes me

Putting aside fear of rejection - it’s fab I’m used to that - fear of cat fishing, because often too good to be true is just that

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *elisandre300Woman
over a year ago

dontbefuckingnosey

Rejection.

I’m too tall and too fat

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

Nothing! Id message no problem, But i may not straight up say I fancy them.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rejection.

I’m too tall and too fat

This!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Rejection.

I’m too tall and too fat

You most definitely are NOT!!!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *elisandre300Woman
over a year ago

dontbefuckingnosey

"Rejection.

I’m too tall and too fat

This!

I think you look amazing

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *elisandre300Woman
over a year ago

dontbefuckingnosey

"Rejection.

I’m too tall and too fat

You most definitely are NOT!!! "

I am... but thank you

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Rejection for sure.

I can't tell if someone is just being friendly or if they're interested unless they are blatant about it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Nothing. In the past when someone attractive has interested me and I seem to meet their criteria i've always messaged.

Worst that can happen is a no thank you or no reply at all. Not the end of the world

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Nothing ventured, nothing gained’

I’m quite happy to send the first message and have done so a few times, hence I’ve met some really nice guys here

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *heOriginalLoisWoman
over a year ago

London

I used to happily message people first. If I didn't get a response it didn't matter as I was never going to see the person and feel rejected.

Now I just don't message anyone as I am the Blobfish of Fab and have lost any desire to chat with anyone.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

It's usually their distance for me and their height. I don't have an issue with height per se, but they might. So I just refrain.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Nothing normally but always start with general chat and see how that progresses before venturing into anything else.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained or indeed lost

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Nothing normally but always start with general chat and see how that progresses before venturing into anything else.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained or indeed lost "

What she said!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing. In the past when someone attractive has interested me and I seem to meet their criteria i've always messaged.

Worst that can happen is a no thank you or no reply at all. Not the end of the world

What about now though- aren't you off the market?!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really bad at introducing myself over messages, for some reason in person I'm great but put me in front of a keyboard and my mind goes to S41t

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

if we want to message somebody, we do.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Nothing. In the past when someone attractive has interested me and I seem to meet their criteria i've always messaged.

Worst that can happen is a no thank you or no reply at all. Not the end of the world

What about now though- aren't you off the market?!"

Note use of phrase "in the past"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If their verifications were all from hot slim ladies, I wouldn't message,as its likely I'm not their type.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually the age filters or distance

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "

This basically.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iromancergirl1Woman
over a year ago

bolton

I think I lack confidence in myself on hear which I weird as in person I’m not shy at all.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *g1231974Man
over a year ago

wetherby

I guess a lack of self confidence too. It's strange as I don't feel I should lack confidence in myself but I do appear to when it comes to making N approach.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

I don’t really expect a reply.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ySweetLadyWoman
over a year ago

London

"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "

This

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"I think I lack confidence in myself on hear which I weird as in person I’m not shy at all."

In person your not shy at all. I go through stages where k am I chatty on here and in person shut off then do the reverse in person

At the moment I kind meh in person and meh on here which Is in between the two

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

Absolutely nothing if I want too I will

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ellw69Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

For me it’s the whole new experience and finding your feet

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm worth noticing, I'll leave it to them to see if I'm worth a try. I'm a good distraction on their way to better things.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *notherGentMan
over a year ago

doncaster

"That I'll say something I find funny and they won't get it, then I have to go through the whole spiel of explaining it and then it becomes awkward."

I’ll second this 100%! Always a conversation/ mood killer…

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ysyphusMan
over a year ago

Starbase K-7

I'm not going to be messaging anyone at all.

I sent some fun comments, not asking for meets, etc, and got either no reply, monosyllabic replies, or emojis.

I've had one woman message me first, and she was less than pleasant in it, so I don't think I'll be wanting any more incoming like that either.

I know, I've only been here a few weeks, but it is still pretty demoralising.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not going to be messaging anyone at all.

I sent some fun comments, not asking for meets, etc, and got either no reply, monosyllabic replies, or emojis.

I've had one woman message me first, and she was less than pleasant in it, so I don't think I'll be wanting any more incoming like that either.

I know, I've only been here a few weeks, but it is still pretty demoralising."

The right person is on their way and they’re coming as fast as they can. It takes a while on fab but there’s **alright** people on here to talk to in the forums in the meantime.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

Nothing, normally.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Rejection.

I’m too tall and too fat

I just looked. Absolutely not!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

I would text no bother...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *amdenfunMan
over a year ago

London

The knowledge that we probably won't be able to meet for quite sometime. Or the desire to discuss with A first. Or distance. All those boring logistical things.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t send a lot of first messages but if there was someone we really liked we would. What’s the worst that can happen? They either don’t reply or say no thanks.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

We are quite shy when it comes to chatting online and we dont feel our personalities always come across properly, however if you saw us in a club etc we are very friendly and welcoming.

Mr Hayes

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will always say hi, if get answer then it's Great if don't then I tried

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ixedDevil OP Man
over a year ago

Bootyville

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

I would text no bother...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the fear of rejection as such.

-Just reading the profile bios themselves.

Even if I find someone attractive, quite often I'll read their profile and conclude.. ok I'm not what they are looking for whatsoever.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Usually the ones I'm attracted to are absolutely miles away from me sadly .

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly because I'm not meeting and it's pointless

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

If I don't message, there's still a chance they're interested in me

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I don't message, there's still a chance they're interested in me

I love that. That shall be my ethos.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Nothing

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Low self esteem, generally speaking

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"If I don't message, there's still a chance they're interested in me

I love that. That shall be my ethos.

Schrödinger's Fab experience right there

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact I look like a bull dog licking piss of a nettle

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *otdave75Man
over a year ago

Chandlers Ford

Historically- lack of confidence, scared of rejection.

Face to face - lack of confidence, scared of rejection

Here - I can be myself, talk bollox, have a laugh, if we get on great, if not … meh

Love the chatting and getting to know people

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know my limits

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I don’t want anybody thinking I have the audacity to think I stand a chance with them

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries

Definitely the fear of rejection.

I do message lassies but hardy get a reply

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Because I don't think they'd be interested.

Online I usually do message, what's the worst that can happen.

Sad when someone really ticks your boxes but they're clearly not into you!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

Their profile. What they want, who they will or won't meet etc.

Can take a no. Confident in ourselves for that. But experiance has told us there's no point barking up the wrong tree and sometimes it's obvious when something is the wrong tree so to speak.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

The only thing that would stop me would be if it was clear they didn't want to hear from me. I'm not afraid of rejection. I just want to avoid annoying or upsetting people.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Nothing stops me besides, if I'm busy, but I have a good think about it first. might even be over few days to decide

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *AB74Man
over a year ago

Midlands

Rejection was the only thing that stopped me. But now if.i fancy someone I'll send them a message. If it's not reciprocated then so be it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago

The bog

I get it in my head that they wouldn't be interested in me..

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I only contact my friends on here now. I’ve not sent a direct message to a stranger on here for about 3 years. Ever since I saw screenshots of messages that are shared in an all female WhatsApp group it kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. The theme of the conversation was like ‘Here’s (insert username) and here’s his photo. He contacted me to say X,Y&Z’. Sharing private messages like that goes totally against the grain for me.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *AB74Man
over a year ago

Midlands

"I get it in my head that they wouldn't be interested in me.."

Really ?

You have a great figure and lovely eyes

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That i dont chase no matter how much i want to bang there boom box

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *9 kisses.Man
over a year ago

clacton on sea

"Absolutely nothing if I want too I will "

Same for me,

If Ive messaged them and its deleted then I usually block them,

Clearly I'm not what they are looking for and I don't want to hassel them and send another message later on,

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ambivalence, if its going to happen, it will.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

OK ..you talked me into it

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"I get it in my head that they wouldn't be interested in me.."

I'm sure you get plenty of messages though ? Doesn't that help boost your confidence?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?

If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?

I’m interested to hear your thoughts

I would always message someone that I find attractive

How else would they know

Missy

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Fear of rejection, absolutely.

It takes a lot for me to send a first message.

I think of the two most recent initial approaches I made, one was after I knew for certain that he liked me, and one was off the back of a forum thread and it took me a few days to admit I was attracted to him and had been for a long time.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I guess fear of rejection is at the heart of it for me, though I'd say it's not so much a fear but more of an expectation.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?

Message filters.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I only contact my friends on here now. I’ve not sent a direct message to a stranger on here for about 3 years. Ever since I saw screenshots of messages that are shared in an all female WhatsApp group it kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. The theme of the conversation was like ‘Here’s (insert username) and here’s his photo. He contacted me to say X,Y&Z’. Sharing private messages like that goes totally against the grain for me. "

That's pretty scummy.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I don't message, there's still a chance they're interested in me

I love that. That shall be my ethos.

Schrödinger's Fab experience right there

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing ventured, nothing gained...!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually too far and I don't meet her preferences in some way.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Available time to nurture our relationship stops me.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Usually distance

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Follow your hearts everyone.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Follow your farts everyone.

Thanks Jim

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you don't ask , you'll never know

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of verifications put me off.. distance because it's just not practical, tracing through the veris you find sex with guys or women who fuck anybody. Stuff on their profile, but if I fancy them and they are local and seem to be looking for someone like me il always say hello or wink. I don't spend hours constructing perfect messages now for them to be ignored, better things to do with my time.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately