FabSwingers.com forum: Mental health

By *uperS77 OP Man
over a year ago

Gloucester

Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness?

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I’m fighting like hell to get MH assessments for my teen. It’s not taken seriously enough.

I’ve heard everything from ‘it’s a phase to fit in with their peers, they’re all citing MH’ to ‘just see how it goes’.

Scary really. Luckily I’m good at persistence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there’s a greater understanding, and certainly a lot more empathy than there ever has been, sadly I know a few people who take advantage of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Society is better than it used to be, for sure, but we’re not all the way there yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness? "

Possibly, but I'm not going to let anyone know about mine. I manage my problems very well

I'm a vegetarian and colleagues don't even know that.

I'm ex army and again they've no clue about that either

I have problems with mh which is personal to me from previous trauma in life which is my business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly. Sometimes, some people can also be like, well, you don't have it as bad as me...they find compassion hard if they think their issues are worse...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the general public is understanding but the government not so much! Mental health services are massively over subscribed and underfunded and that’s if you can access help at all. It really is a postcode lottery!

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By *orruptionandliesMan
over a year ago

leeds

Completely it is what I keep telling myself as I know iam unravelling

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

southend

"Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness? "

From personal experience I would say sadly yes there is still quite a lot of society that thinks we just need to "suck it up" I think things are slowly changing but that doesn't help those of us that have suffered in silence for years or those that have sadly lost friends and loved ones to the effects of mental health in the past.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Completely it is what I keep telling myself as I know iam unravelling "

In what way? You OK mate?

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Yes I think there is, unfortunately. I'd say it is more of my parents generation and generally ignorant people who have this view though.

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By *egoMan
over a year ago

Preston

I think there is a slight increase in general understanding. The younger the more aware.

This is general population.

Actual help available, well seems less than there used to be. And (some of) the professionals in it, through experience appear to be the literal worst of human kind personality wise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness? "

There's a lot more empathy than there used to be. In many cases there's not enough.

Unfortunately until we get away from our inate notion that people are lumps of meat with a soul/spirit/ghost/little hidden goblin in control then we won't stop treating physical and mental health as totally different ideas. The brain is no more or less of a physical object than a leg or a lung, it changes the way it works when supplied with different chemicals and different sensory inputs. We are still a long way off understanding the complexities of how it works but our persistent notion that a person has some kind of autonomous entity separate to their physical being is going to clash more and more with advances in understanding mental health.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I think there is, unfortunately. I'd say it is more of my parents generation and generally ignorant people who have this view though. "

Possibly but I'm playing it safe just incase

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

I never used to accept mental health as a problem in anyone other than those who clearly had signs of such a degree, but having had my own mental health take a savaging, I now understand what it means to suffer in silence whilst trying to figure out what the hells happened to me.

To proud to ask for help, to ashamed to admit I’m struggling, in denial perhaps but it’s real.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I had cutting issues a few years back I didn't get any help..but thats because I realised what I was doing was stupid...but looking back as a male in his 40s I probably wouldn't have seemed help....but I think its a bit easier today to talk and get help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never used to accept mental health as a problem in anyone other than those who clearly had signs of such a degree, but having had my own mental health take a savaging, I now understand what it means to suffer in silence whilst trying to figure out what the hells happened to me.

To proud to ask for help, to ashamed to admit I’m struggling, in denial perhaps but it’s real."

I've just accepted it as part of life. I accept it understand and live with it.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

There is still a long way to go but times and opinions are slowly changing x

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By *orruptionandliesMan
over a year ago

leeds

"Completely it is what I keep telling myself as I know iam unravelling

In what way? You OK mate? "

Feeling of lack of worth and value. Which then leads to insomnia, which then starts you picking at the negatives

Others have it much worse though. Family healthy have a decent house, others don't have that

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

"Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness?

Possibly, but I'm not going to let anyone know about mine. I manage my problems very well

I'm a vegetarian and colleagues don't even know that.

I'm ex army and again they've no clue about that either

I have problems with mh which is personal to me from previous trauma in life which is my business

If you haven’t already then please contact the NHS Veterans mental health team in Colchester, they are amazing and only deal with ex forces - this fast tracks you into getting support.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I’m fighting like hell to get MH assessments for my teen. It’s not taken seriously enough.

I’ve heard everything from ‘it’s a phase to fit in with their peers, they’re all citing MH’ to ‘just see how it goes’.

Scary really. Luckily I’m good at persistence. "

Get blood tests done, as the NHS loves hard cold stats.

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

I've come to realise MH is a spectrum, it's just a matter of where on the scale a person fits and the name you attach to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Completely it is what I keep telling myself as I know iam unravelling

In what way? You OK mate?

Feeling of lack of worth and value. Which then leads to insomnia, which then starts you picking at the negatives

Others have it much worse though. Family healthy have a decent house, others don't have that "
if it helps, your not the only one.

I feel that way too from what I thought people thought of me, but I thought cobblers to what they think.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

The problem with teens, is their hormones are swimming around so emotional ditress is deemed normal by the Old Guard (In my day...) added to the fact that sexual frustration and anxiety is not going to get any better, until they are much older.

As for sympathy, they'll just get classed as Emos and the like.

Not good.

Charities should be the best bet, but the 111 option 2 thing starts to grate after a very short amount of time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness?

Possibly, but I'm not going to let anyone know about mine. I manage my problems very well

I'm a vegetarian and colleagues don't even know that.

I'm ex army and again they've no clue about that either

I have problems with mh which is personal to me from previous trauma in life which is my business

If you haven’t already then please contact the NHS Veterans mental health team in Colchester, they are amazing and only deal with ex forces - this fast tracks you into getting support. "

I thought about it but there's others in a terrible state and I'm so fucking lucky. I'd feel guilty taking up their time. Nah I'm OK with it. Thanks for the suggestion though

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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

Issue is services are underfunded. Our waitlists are incredibly long and services are so understaffed that clinicians are on borderline dangerous case loads.

Some people “play the game” so to speak too. For example ASD waitlists are high but in certain areas of the UK you can refer for another MH problem, they’ll say no it’s not xxx it’s ASD, then you get an ASD assessment quicker. People who are desperate find shortcuts in the system, overtime that puts even more demand on services. I’ve seen people move county just for a quicker MH assessment.

To be honest it’s such a massive and complex issue the debates could go on for years. Working in this field is rewarding but typing all that out is quite disheartening.

People are more accepting but we’re still a far way off from where we should be. Social media it’s self is a massive perpetuating factor for many.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Unfortunately the term is being bandied about without people understanding what it really is. A lot of the time folk are saying they have mental health issues when they are in reality just going through a tough time in there life. People need to be encouraged to develop resilience sometimes. It’s when a persons normal healthy function and healthy thought process starts being effected by issues in there life that a mental health issue starts to develop.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

As someone who suffered for many years without admitting it to myself never mind anyone else there is often a lack of empathy from the person themselves.

It's not as simple as pulling themselves together and while it took me years of coping, once I found the way out I moved away swiftly from self analysing and hoping that yesterday was going to get better.

I don't dwell on it now at all and don't read up on it or study it's effects but I do see the term being abused.

I've come across a number of people in my daily life as well as quite a few online who use it like a badge of honour or a fashion statement.

They try to shut down arguments by playing the mental health card.

I've been in a situation where a member of staff was disciplined by me for making sexually inappropriate comments to a woman in my dept.

He retaliated the next day by headbutting me without provocation and immediately used the MH card to avoid instant dismissal.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Yes I think there is, unfortunately. I'd say it is more of my parents generation and generally ignorant people who have this view though.

Possibly but I'm playing it safe just incase"

Please don't wait too long. There are many private counsellers out there. Many of them specialise in different areas of MH.

We all have things we keep to ourselves, it would only be Yiu and the counsellor that knows anything. They are bound by some very strict rules and regulations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone who suffered for many years without admitting it to myself never mind anyone else there is often a lack of empathy from the person themselves.

I don't dwell on it now at all and don't read up on it or study it's effects but I do see the term being abused.

I've come across a number of people in my daily life as well as quite a few online who use it like a badge of honour or a fashion statement.

They try to shut down arguments by playing the mental health card.

I've been in a situation where a member of staff was disciplined by me for making sexually inappropriate comments to a woman in my dept.

He retaliated the next day by headbutting me without provocation and immediately used the MH card to avoid instant dismissal.

Bloody hell! You still have to deal with him?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"As someone who suffered for many years without admitting it to myself never mind anyone else there is often a lack of empathy from the person themselves.

I don't dwell on it now at all and don't read up on it or study it's effects but I do see the term being abused.

I've come across a number of people in my daily life as well as quite a few online who use it like a badge of honour or a fashion statement.

They try to shut down arguments by playing the mental health card.

I've been in a situation where a member of staff was disciplined by me for making sexually inappropriate comments to a woman in my dept.

He retaliated the next day by headbutting me without provocation and immediately used the MH card to avoid instant dismissal.

Bloody hell! You still have to deal with him?

No that was 3 years ago and I'm no longer in that job. He took 2 months off citing MH reasons, then returned to work and immediately boasted to others about playing the system.

A month later he was dismissed for stealing.

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

There's still a lot of stigma, misunderstanding and lack of empathy within mental health services let alone society.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's still a lot of stigma, misunderstanding and lack of empathy within mental health services let alone society."

Yep. I think so, especially from what I've overheard in various places. Including people being bullied in public places for being overweight etc. Brings out the mysnthrope in me, humans are bastards sometimes

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

Using myself as a example the last year I can’t say for certain that I have MH issues or just going through a tough time.I have said and done some things at work that I am not particularly proud off. I have been offered counselling but declined it as I can’t say for certain if it is MH or just a tough time so I don’t want to come across as taking the piss / playing the system to get paid time off work. I also see it as a sign of weakness if I don’t deal with my problems myself even though I know that it’s not a weakness to seek help and assistance it just doesn’t feel right to me to ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Society is better than it used to be, for sure, but we’re not all the way there yet."

I think this is an accurate position statement. I do know a number of people who’ve admitted to becoming a lot more understanding of mental health issues over the past couple of years from experiencing friends and family really struggling when normal coping mechanisms and therapies weren’t available during the pandemic. It sometimes takes someone they know and love to be experiencing it before they believe it’s real.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's better than it used to be as there's more awareness of it but there is still a lot of stigma as well. When I told my sister I have depression, she just walked away from me. Pretty much says it all really, which is sad x

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

I have lost a few special people close to me through suffering with their Mental Health, reaching out for help but still taking their lives as the help just wasn't there for them no matter how much they asked, screamed and shouted for it, even though they were under the guidance/help of mental health services, So sadly let down by these apparently supportive services. * May every person who has taken their own lives now Rest in Peace...no more pain and a release from the mental torture that they have endured * My heart goes out to every one of those, and also to all the ones I love and are no longer here for me to hold close. ..I miss you all every day!!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness? "

Yes definitely. Unless you suffer personally or support someone who does it’s very difficult to truly see it as an illness.

I’ve even seen posts on here suggesting to talk to friends, go for a walk , regular exercise etc.

These are things mentally well people can do in tough times to keep general mental well-being.

If you are ill you need professional intervention typically therapy , different medication , professional care, because often you can’t do those things and will get worse if left untreated. So many people don’t understand this

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness?

Yes definitely. Unless you suffer personally or support someone who does it’s very difficult to truly see it as an illness.

I’ve even seen posts on here suggesting to talk to friends, go for a walk , regular exercise etc.

These are things mentally well people can do in tough times to keep general mental well-being.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Society is better than it used to be, for sure, but we’re not all the way there yet.

It’s true. And you live it yourself dealing with it watching them suffer and theres no help available for you or them.

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

I think society has become more open for men and women to be more vocal about their mental health and that’s amazing. It’s good to see people can say hey I’m struggling right now and reach out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness? "

Based on how much support is available (or not as is the case if you can’t go private) then I’d say that on a practical level that’s still very much the expectation.

Society - or tropes on social media at least - make it seem much more acceptable - even “cool” to have some MH label or other. But the reality is that there is such a shortage os trained and skilled professionals to support those that need help then there is little choice but to jump on the happy pill bandwagon or pull your own socks up.

It is a sad state of affairs.

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By *itzi999Woman
over a year ago

Slough

There is far greater understanding these days, as there is a lot more awareness for mental health. However more needs to be done.

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By *-Jay.Man
over a year ago

wolverhampton

See. As i have mh bipolaar type 2 boarder line personality disorder and adhd. Over the years the younger generation do understand bits of the common mh eg depression but not the rest and funding and help my sister worked for the mh services and deside the leave she want stay in a job that is very much so underfunded and wint help the only way you will get help with mh is if your in a hospital fact this is true even with current diagnosis you wint get help just “have these tablets try these for few weeks” unless your admitted into phyc ward you have no luck this is westmidlanded based i can not talk on the other half but this my own exsperiance also added

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By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

I think some conditions people are happy with and some they still have the stigma

When people find out I have anxiety and ptsd the anxiety people seem ok with but with the ptsd get looks and comments of get over it can’t be that bad.

But when I say the anxiety is there cos the ptsd of sexual assault people twitch and I still feel I get made uncomfortable and looked at like I shouldn’t make a fuss and was my own fault. Had one person thought was a great friend who always wanted everyone to accept his mh issues tell me I was a drama queen an I must have wanted the assault and I should just get over it it’s only a memory.

Even typing that is now making me cry as I’ve posted a lot about being alone and no one who understands etc and this was route of everything even my family said oh just move one so I figured how to hide and smile.

My now ex convinced me to get help after 7 yrs and while in middle told me I changed and didn’t want be around me.

Sorry I know people have worse than me I won’t go on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm bipolar and I'm honest and open about it, so open that I mentioned it on my profile. However, I removed it from my profile as it seemed to hinder contact with others as it seemed to put them off wanting to chat to someone with MH issues.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"I'm bipolar and I'm honest and open about it, so open that I mentioned it on my profile. However, I removed it from my profile as it seemed to hinder contact with others as it seemed to put them off wanting to chat to someone with MH issues. "

I think it’s amazing you put it out there and a little upsetting that it’s restricted convos but I guess it shows people are still wary and don’t understand MH issues in reality and that we are functioning humans who just have a few things to deal with in addition to average life.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

a family member needed support recently but it wasn't very good at all.

The charity Mind have been more use than the NHS

I hope those who need help manage to access it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think recently there has been more awareness raised about mental health issues thankfully, there are many MH Charities out there who can help also NHS 111, the GP but it from experience (years ago!!) my biggest support came only from Friends, over the past few years my partner has always been supportive and we talk about everything! It’s amazing what an open honest conversation and cuppa can help with someone who cares..

There are so many people out there who care don’t feel alone reach out

K x

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By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

"I think some conditions people are happy with and some they still have the stigma

When people find out I have anxiety and ptsd the anxiety people seem ok with but with the ptsd get looks and comments of get over it can’t be that bad.

My now ex convinced me to get help after 7 yrs and while in middle told me I changed and didn’t want be around me.

Sorry I know people have worse than me I won’t go on

I feel like I killed the thread talking about my issues maybe I shouldn’t be honest any more about it but after therapy I can speak about it

I know when people hear a guy being sexually assaulted has a negative thing and even closes off meets and dates (I know similar for ladies who had it but the stigma that it’s a man been attacked goes odd) cos I think I have to mention it as if I go quiet or hidden it sometimes the fall out or had where was at a meet mmmf and guy did something and I freaked and I got abuse for wasting time so when said why I got made feel like was my fault.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People mistake actual mental health problems with having a bad day. Those people who dismiss mental health they see things very black and white. The most important thing is early diagnosis and treatment but unfortunately in this country it's just not possible. The waiting lists get longer by the day and if you aren't thinking of committing suicide, you are put to the back of the queue.

My advice to anyone would be to educate yourselves. If someone tells you they are struggling, listen. Realise that they aren't having a bad day, they are genuinely struggling with every day life. Support them, love them and do everything you can to help them. You might not understand it completely but you can make that difference.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"a family member needed support recently but it wasn't very good at all.

The charity Mind have been more use than the NHS

I hope those who need help manage to access it."

Mind are good. There are other specialist charities too but often very small and getting access to them is often only by NHS referral and often the NHS don’t even know about them.

Going through the NHS to try and get help or referred can be so bad it causes mental health in itself !

Some above mentioned going private. Trying to find a residential / retreat with skills/capacity or good therapist can be just as hard even if you are willing to pay, everything is fully booked for months

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"People mistake actual mental health problems with having a bad day. Those people who dismiss mental health they see things very black and white. The most important thing is early diagnosis and treatment but unfortunately in this country it's just not possible. The waiting lists get longer by the day and if you aren't thinking of committing suicide, you are put to the back of the queue.

Even if someone is suicidal and has made an attempt often the best you get is a whole night sat in a&e, they will check their bloods every few hours , maybe get them a bed if ones spare and they need treatment, then discharge them next day. Follow up is non existent or weeks/months and when it finally does happen , they basically say there’s nothing they can do

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

and it's back to the GP again on the infinite loop...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a generation thing. Old gits like me are of the stiff upper lip, get on with it inclination, by and large. Millenials and younger are far more aware and understanding of mental health issues, unfortunately some to the extent that it has become fashionable, to the detriment of genuine cases. As ever, somewhere in the middle is probably a sensible balance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm, I think there is less stigma attached to mental health than there used to be. But that's not to say we still don't have a long way to go. You still see so much ignorance towards those with mental health issues and even the care and professional support you're offered isn't what it should be. But yes, I think it is accepted now more than ever before.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"Do you think there is still a mentality across society that those with MH problems should just pull themselves together and get on with it. Or is their more empathy towards the illness? "

Unfortunately it's a view many have towards themselves myself included

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attitudes are changing for the better but sadly there still is quite a lot of stigma around the subject of mental health. I do also think some people find it difficult to understand if they haven't suffered with it themselves.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

I think as more and more people are being personally effected with their own or close family/friends with mental health issues, more are accepting that they are not just real but can be life changing to the person going through it and thats where the acceptance is being driven from.

There is still a stigma attached to a lot of MH issues and the seemingly current trend to have something to attribute a person's behavior to is a problem as well when for many there is MH issue rather than a personality trait they want an excuse for.

The hard part is differentiating between the two and acting on it accordingly.

( yes I have a lot of first hand experience of both )

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