FabSwingers.com forum: Why?

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

Tonight, I received the news that someone really close to me has been assaulted by their partner.

He put a table over her head head. She now has a hole in her face and 3 teeth hanging out...that's the injuries that I so far know about.

An ambulance was called but the police took her to A&E.

The police have also arrested him as he made his way to work. I hope they throw away the key!

In truth, I hope for so much worse than that!

I know he has been violent in the past. I am just glad that as bad as this is, it's not worse. I have feared that it would have been.

Why do people do this and to someone they purpose to love!

To anyone out there in a similar situation my door is always open should you need a safe confidential place to talk.

Stay safe....stay strong...take care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope your friend gets over her physical injuries and is strong enough for the journey ahead x

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

Violence in any form is awful but male on female is the worst. Hope your friend is OK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tonight, I received the news that someone really close to me has been assaulted by their partner.

He put a table over her head head. She now has a hole in her face and 3 teeth hanging out...that's the injuries that I so far know about.

An ambulance was called but the police took her to A&E.

The police have also arrested him as he made his way to work. I hope they throw away the key!

In truth, I hope for so much worse than that!

I know he has been violent in the past. I am just glad that as bad as this is, it's not worse. I have feared that it would have been.

Why do people do this and to someone they purpose to love!

To anyone out there in a similar situation my door is always open should you need a safe confidential place to talk.

Stay safe....stay strong...take care.

I’m so sorry to hear this and hope they make a complete recovery and justice is served to the individual responsible!!

I don’t think anyone can ever say why someone commits violent acts against their loved ones….there’s always the argument of nurture over nature (or the other way around)….but what can be done is that the individual responsible suffers for their actions but learns from them also!!

Really hope you’re ok too….just be thankful it wasn’t worse and there’s a possibility of recovery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's alien behaviour to me

I hope your friend recovers with the strength to act

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Hope your friend recovers emotionally and psychologically ..... beatings are not only skin deep

The people that do this type of thing do so because they can .....

The same person who will physically attack another does so because they feel no threat. They don't go for those bigger than themselves.

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Omg despicable. Need locking up and throw away the key. Hope your friend is OK and will need your support and professional support too. So sad to hear things like this happening although unfortunately we all know they do.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

Man hitting a woman is a coward. Hope the fucker gets locked up for a very long spell. Hope your friend will recover. She needs to stay well clear of the psycho now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really hope your friend is OK.

With abuse its not about love for the perpetrator it's about power and control.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I hope your friend is ok. And although it's horrible I hope it gives her strength to leave. I know it took me a severe assault for me to leave my abusive ex.

I cross my fingers she will find safety

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

I have just learnt that she is to have plastic surgery.

She will undoubtedly need support from those around her.

Thank you for you kind words.

I feel sick for her, for anyone made to live under threat of physical and mental abuse.

It may make me not much better but I want him to feel the same as he has made her feel!

I have only met him once. That was during a previous altercation. He is a nasty oice of work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really hope your friend is OK.

With abuse its not about love for the perpetrator it's about power and control.

Absolutely this.

OP I hope your friend will recover from everything this poor excuse of a man has done to her. I have two friends who were both in abusive relationships, one nearly killed her, and threatened every day to finish her off. Eventually he was arrested. The other eventually split up and he was found dead in a local beauty spot after getting d*unk and drowning. In either case it was vey upsetting, for them and for their friends/family etc. Only one found real love and has now been married to a lovely guy for 11 years.

The best thing your friend can have right now is an open door from all her friends.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

because that person does not love them in the same sense as you and me love someone they love the power and control they have over them the dependency that they build the behavior of a narcissist's .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry to hear this. Living in fear of assault from a partner is soul destroying. I hope she finds the strength to get away and that either she or the CPS press charges.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not love. It's power and control.

Really hope you're friend will be ok. Hopefully now the police are involved it will be her wake up call to keep him out of her life.

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

I truly hope your friend really does get away from this gutless monster, and if she decides not to prosecute then I hope the Police will and he get's locked up for a very long time. I also hope she recovers from this and I'm sure with your help she will.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Unfortunately these men get under your skin and even when they are beating the loving daylights out of you, you somehow believe its all your fault.

I hope your friend recovers from her physical injuries soon, mentally it will take her a lot longer xx

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

*living not loving x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When she's starting to feel a bit physically better, I'd encourage her to visit a place like women's aid or rise.

To talk to a trained professional there. It's free and confidential support, not just with housing, but someone she can talk to who understands how to help. With all aspects, police, court if the time comes.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I have just learnt that she is to have plastic surgery.

She will undoubtedly need support from those around her.

Thank you for you kind words.

I feel sick for her, for anyone made to live under threat of physical and mental abuse.

It may make me not much better but I want him to feel the same as he has made her feel!

I have only met him once. That was during a previous altercation. He is a nasty oice of work."

This must be devastating for you to hear OP. It hard sometimes being the friend of someone being abused. Wish you strength to help your friend x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have just learnt that she is to have plastic surgery.

She will undoubtedly need support from those around her.

Thank you for you kind words.

I feel sick for her, for anyone made to live under threat of physical and mental abuse.

It may make me not much better but I want him to feel the same as he has made her feel!

I have only met him once. That was during a previous altercation. He is a nasty oice of work.

This must be devastating for you to hear OP. It hard sometimes being the friend of someone being abused. Wish you strength to help your friend x "

I was looking for the right words and you said them perfectly.

NBVN x

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

There is no love there, it's all about control and hopefully that scumbag never has any of it again.

I'm really sorry hear about your friend and hope she can get through the physical and mental scarring as best as she can and can take solace in knowing she can move on for the better without him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so sad to hear about your friend

As others have said, it isn’t love, it’s control and power.

I hope she gets the help she needs.

Are you ok too? Xx

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

She would probably benefit from doing the Freedom Programme, free to anyone having left a relationship with DV.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really sorry to hear this story. Hope you are friend gets well soon.

About violent people, I have seen violence in many families around me when I grew up though I was lucky enough to have a peaceful family myself. If there is one thing that I have realised, it is that people who are capable of being violent to their friends and relatives, can never be fixed.

I know people try to find excuses that "he was violent in the past but not anymore". Truth is that it's just hiding somewhere and will come out in the open any minute. Psychiatrists know fuck all about what's happening in human minds. It's an area of research that has a really long way to go.

I was having many issues with my ex wife. But once she threw a plate right at me which I had to duck to move away from. That's the moment I decided I was getting a divorce. Bottom line. If someone has a history of being violent, stay away from that person. Yes, it can be cold to ostracise someone like that. But that's the way it is.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

[Removed by poster at 22/01/22 22:31:49]

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I’m so sad to hear about your friend

As others have said, it isn’t love, it’s control and power.

I hope she gets the help she needs.

Are you ok too? Xx"

I'm ok thanks Hippy..just back from the hospital..went to drop a phone charger off. She was still with the police...an officer came out to me xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m so sad to hear about your friend

As others have said, it isn’t love, it’s control and power.

I hope she gets the help she needs.

Are you ok too? Xx

I'm ok thanks Hippy..just back from the hospital..went to drop a phone charger off. She was still with the police...an officer came out to me xx

It must be really distressing

Sending hugs

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By *ry me and seeMan
over a year ago

tyrone

"Tonight, I received the news that someone really close to me has been assaulted by their partner.

He put a table over her head head. She now has a hole in her face and 3 teeth hanging out...that's the injuries that I so far know about.

An ambulance was called but the police took her to A&E.

The police have also arrested him as he made his way to work. I hope they throw away the key!

In truth, I hope for so much worse than that!

I know he has been violent in the past. I am just glad that as bad as this is, it's not worse. I have feared that it would have been.

Why do people do this and to someone they purpose to love!

To anyone out there in a similar situation my door is always open should you need a safe confidential place to talk.

Stay safe....stay strong...take care.

I feel for your friend, as a friend of mine stuck 3 years hiding some horrific injuries from us all to try and stay in a horrendous relationship and fix the un fixable.. were lucky not to have lost her as he ended up in jail and her in police protection..hoping your friend has the decision made to cut ties now n remove this stain from her life.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I’m so sad to hear about your friend

As others have said, it isn’t love, it’s control and power.

I hope she gets the help she needs.

Are you ok too? Xx

I'm ok thanks Hippy..just back from the hospital..went to drop a phone charger off. She was still with the police...an officer came out to me xx

It must be really distressing

Sending hugs

xx"

I just really feel for her...big hug needed and gratefully received

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Despicable.

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

It really angers me to read this, I hope your friend is in the mend soon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear this has happened to your friend. As the OP says lock this guy up and lose the keys.

It's a subject which is close to my heart and feel sorry for women/men that are subjected to this type of abuse.

Wishing your friend a quick recovery

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Tonight, I received the news that someone really close to me has been assaulted by their partner.

He put a table over her head head. She now has a hole in her face and 3 teeth hanging out...that's the injuries that I so far know about.

An ambulance was called but the police took her to A&E.

The police have also arrested him as he made his way to work. I hope they throw away the key!

In truth, I hope for so much worse than that!

I know he has been violent in the past. I am just glad that as bad as this is, it's not worse. I have feared that it would have been.

Why do people do this and to someone they purpose to love!

To anyone out there in a similar situation my door is always open should you need a safe confidential place to talk.

Stay safe....stay strong...take care.

I am glad that your friend is away from him! When things become so bad it really is luck rather than judgement that they come through it.

And thank you.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Sorry to hear this has happened to your friend. As the OP says lock this guy up and lose the keys.

It's a subject which is close to my heart and feel sorry for women/men that are subjected to this type of abuse.

Wishing your friend a quick recovery

It is good to remember that men are affected by this also.

Thank you.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

I appreciate your well wishes for my friend

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Please give her a gentle hug from uncle Chunky.

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Cause they're nasty and have a wicked streak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope he gets locked up, there is no excuse for this. I hope your friend recovers and also never has to see him again. Best wishes x

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

Sorry to hear about your friend.

Not read all the comments.

bruises, cuts, broken bones heal. The mental scars never heal.

So many different kinds of domestic abuse and its not just females who are the victims.

I'm a survivor of the physical scars but I struggle daily from the mental scars, 22yrs on.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Oh this is awful news, Annabelle. I can only imagine the sick feeling in your stomach.

This will only be the tip of the iceberg in their relationship, though hopefully it will be enough now for her to finally take that step to see the back of him and wake up to the traumas she now has to heal from.

For certain, she has a good friend in you and that will mean a lot.

Please make sure you also look after you - you've had such a crappy month

Sending big hugs your way

BP xx

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"She would probably benefit from doing the Freedom Programme, free to anyone having left a relationship with DV."

I would recommend this too. It's a 12-week programme, run by local Women's Aid groups.

To clarify, it's only available to women (unfortunately) and any woman can attend, whether you've left, thinking if leaving, in a relationship you think may be toxic, or even if you're single and feel you need educating.

I don't believe the men's charities have a similar programme, which is a real shame for the many men on the receiving end of domestic abuse.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Oh this is awful news, Annabelle. I can only imagine the sick feeling in your stomach.

For certain, she has a good friend in you and that will mean a lot.

Please make sure you also look after you - you've had such a crappy month

Sending big hugs your way

BP xx"

I know you know how tough things have been recently.. thanks guys

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

[Removed by poster at 22/01/22 23:51:37]

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

Anabelle I hope your friend or relative recovers very quickly and can get on with her life.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Violence in any form is awful but male on female is the worst. Hope your friend is OK."

It depends upon the female some are very bad as much as some guys

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Your poor friend, this is horrible

I hope they keep him in and she gets through this, she's lucky having a good friend in you.

Miss

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Any form of abuse isn’t love, it’s abuse and about controlling someone.

There is no excuse for violence against women.

I hope your friend can find the strength to move forward from this and pursue this with the police and courts.

If you friend needs a support community who will understand what she’s going through and face then I recommend showing her this lady on Instagram @by.layx who has tonnes of signposts to the support your friend needs. And Dr Charlotte Proudman is another good person on there with signposts to agencies that can help. She is a barrister who works on cases for domestic abuse.

Normally I’d send this via pm with an excuse my unsolicited message but there may be other women on her who also need support that might be too scared to seek help. The two people mentioned above can provide support without any worry about other people finding out, they treat every contact with complete discretion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have just learnt that she is to have plastic surgery.

She will undoubtedly need support from those around her.

Thank you for you kind words.

I feel sick for her, for anyone made to live under threat of physical and mental abuse.

It may make me not much better but I want him to feel the same as he has made her feel!

I have only met him once. That was during a previous altercation. He is a nasty oice of work.

This must be devastating for you to hear OP. It hard sometimes being the friend of someone being abused. Wish you strength to help your friend x "

This! Plus if you need support please feel free to message me or anybody for that matter. It must be difficult for you as well. X

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By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

"Man hitting a woman is a coward. Hope the fucker gets locked up for a very long spell. Hope your friend will recover. She needs to stay well clear of the psycho now. "

Violence by any sex is disgusting. Admittedly it's usually dickhead men

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I have just learnt that she is to have plastic surgery.

She will undoubtedly need support from those around her.

Thank you for you kind words.

I feel sick for her, for anyone made to live under threat of physical and mental abuse.

It may make me not much better but I want him to feel the same as he has made her feel!

I have only met him once. That was during a previous altercation. He is a nasty oice of work.

This must be devastating for you to hear OP. It hard sometimes being the friend of someone being abused. Wish you strength to help your friend x

This! Plus if you need support please feel free to message me or anybody for that matter. It must be difficult for you as well. X"

Thanks Lorna x

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Any form of abuse isn’t love, it’s abuse and about controlling someone.

There is no excuse for violence against women.

I hope your friend can find the strength to move forward from this and pursue this with the police and courts.

I hope not but there maybe and if so I hope it helps..thank you

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Sorry to hear about your friend.

Not read all the comments.

bruises, cuts, broken bones heal. The mental scars never heal.

So many different kinds of domestic abuse and its not just females who are the victims.

I'm a survivor of the physical scars but I struggle daily from the mental scars, 22yrs on.

I'm really sorry to see that you had to go through this x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so sorry to read this, brings tears to eyes to think that someone could do this to a person. No reason can justify his actions and I hope he is filled with remorse and shame. Very much hope she manages to make a speedy recovery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish your friend well, Anabelle.

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