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Instruction manual for a penis ….

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley

Is it the size …. Or Is it how it’s used ….?

It’s a frequently asked question ….

So what I want to know (bit of a laugh )

What would you expect to see wrote in the instruction manual for a penis

Everyone add your own instructions

I’ll start ….

(1)

Start by grabbing the penis through outer clothing to turn on.

(2) removing clothing to reveal semi erect penis

(3)

Wrap a hand around the shaft and slowly stroke up n down until fully erect

Go on …. Make them funny or else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep him nice and warm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feed him regularly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t force him into dry places.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Moisture him frequently to prevent any loss in growth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give him a good name.

Mine, for example, is called Eric.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Warning: Fragile

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Feed him regularly."

What do you feed yours ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aim away from the eyes if shaken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doing the helicopter takes practise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid zips and sharp teeth

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Moisture him frequently to prevent any loss in growth."

Ahh it’s where I’ve been going wrong when it rains I put a coat on and an umbrella up where I should really drop my trousers and get wet

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Immediately stop and place on charge when lubricant leaks from the nozzle.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Warning could go off unexpectedly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As tasty as it may look , do NOT bite

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By *lla4everTV/TS
over a year ago

Overseas

May contain or have come in contact with nuts

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Warning: Fragile"

No they’re not !

You’d be surprised how strong they can be

I think this completely depends on the individual penis

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Keep him clean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t use it into the wind.

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Aim away from the eyes if shaken. "

Or use protective goggles when handling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Feed him regularly.

What do you feed yours ? "

Chilli nuts and soy sauce.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

You can't have an instruction manual without a nomenclature

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Lick frequently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Warning: Fragile

No they’re not !

You’d be surprised how strong they can be

I think this completely depends on the individual penis "

I suppose as a penis owner you know best

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Doing the helicopter takes practise. "

This task should only be done by an intermediate / professional penis handler

To prevent injury

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"You can't have an instruction manual without a nomenclature"

Umm...penis?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Needs regular recharging in a warm, moist place. This can vary between models.

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

It is for life, not just for Christmas...

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Avoid zips and sharp teeth "

Injury prevention

#toptipstokeepatiptop

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Immediately stop and place on charge when lubricant leaks from the nozzle."

Really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Included is the following:

Penis

Sky remote

Deodorant spray (regular size)

Deodorant (travel size)

Red Bull can

Pringles tube

Use as instructed

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Warning could go off unexpectedly. "

At handlers own risk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not use as a crane.

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"As tasty as it may look , do NOT bite "

Again down to the individual penis

I’d like to experience a bit of a chomp on my shaft

Not on the head

I may just be a little weird

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"May contain or have come in contact with nuts "

If your allergic to nuts ….

Stay clear

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Keep him clean "

#toptip

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Don’t use it into the wind. "

You don’t wank into the wind ?

It’s the only blowjob some of us get these days

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Feed him regularly.

What do you feed yours ?

Chilli nuts and soy sauce."

Each to their own

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By *he RizzlerMan
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Grab the base and go up first..

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"You can't have an instruction manual without a nomenclature"

Not going to lie …. No idea

Sorry

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By *he RizzlerMan
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

From this thread I’m sure we could make a Haynes manual (I’m sure a few may know what that it)

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By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

May cause choking

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Needs regular recharging in a warm, moist place. This can vary between models. "

#toptip

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"It is for life, not just for Christmas..."

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Can be shy. Make sure he is comfortable before introducing him to others.

Ensure he is warmed up and lubricated to avoid damage during use.

Mrs TMN

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Do not use as a crane."

I disagree it can lift much more than a crane ever could

The spirit of a lost soul

Or the mood at a shit party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wave at said person in a little top hat.. when the hat falls off, your little man is ready to go.

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville


"From this thread I’m sure we could make a Haynes manual (I’m sure a few may know what that it) "

Hahahahaha!!

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville


"Don’t use it into the wind.

You don’t wank into the wind ?

It’s the only blowjob some of us get these days "

That made me spit my coffee out!

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Can be used as a temporary towel rail

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Don’t use it into the wind.

You don’t wank into the wind ?

It’s the only blowjob some of us get these days

That made me spit my coffee out! "

I’m glad

I thought it was really funny too while writing it

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