FabSwingers.com forum: "Nice tits" "You make me hard" etc

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do we think of these as first messages? My photos do show my breasts admittedly - does that mean it's understandable/acceptable that I get a lot of messages commenting on them? Eg "Hi, your tits are amazing. You make me so hard".

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person?

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By *orruptionandliesMan
over a year ago

leeds

Personally there is a real confidence in your pictures that is sexier than...

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

I think it’s reasonable to send. It’s not out rightly offence or abusive and many would just accept it as a compliment

Just because you don’t doesn’t make it universally true

Unless you’ve stated in your profile you don’t like that stuff. If you have then use, it’s rude and uncalled for

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I don't like the word tits. Much rather they were referred to as boobs.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t really think to be honest. It’s just what happens on here. I just delete and move on. I don’t even open most of them. I can tell by the first line if I want to open it.

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By *orruptionandliesMan
over a year ago

leeds

What is the best way to talk about them, is it breasts boobs or tits

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"What is the best way to talk about them, is it breasts boobs or tits"

I prefer boobs. Hate the word tits

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally there is a real confidence in your pictures that is sexier than... "

? Yes I have gained confidence by taking and posting them. Doesn't answer the question though? Most men will assume I post the photos to titillate them and gain attention.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it’s reasonable to send. It’s not out rightly offence or abusive and many would just accept it as a compliment

Just because you don’t doesn’t make it universally true

Unless you’ve stated in your profile you don’t like that stuff. If you have then use, it’s rude and uncalled for "

But very few men read my profile and I didn't want to make it really negative. But I guess if I did add that proviso I'd feel more comfortable. I know other people don't feel as I do, that's why posted. I can't imagine that I'd send a message to a bloke and say fab cock in my first message though. In my book that's rude.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t really think to be honest. It’s just what happens on here. I just delete and move on. I don’t even open most of them. I can tell by the first line if I want to open it. "

Oh I don't reply to those kinds of messages. A man who writes that to me to start isn't someone I would be interested in.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think it all depends on how things are said. I tend to ignore such messages xx

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By *drianukMan
over a year ago

Spain, Lancs

Why do people post attractive pictures of themselves if they don't want people to find them appealing?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is the best way to talk about them, is it breasts boobs or tits"

Couldn't care less as long as you don't message me about mine?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

BOOOOOOOOOOOBS.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it all depends on how things are said. I tend to ignore such messages xx"

Thanks Sparkle. It's TOT so I guess you're getting quite a few of those messages too? I do ignore them. I guess I just wanted to hear opinions. X

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Ach it's difficult.

I don't really think much about messages like those - they'll happen, the photos you have on display definitely do have an influence on the messages you receive. Given the nature of the site I can understand those messages to a certain extent. Some women will like them. Do I think they're "acceptable"? I don't know. If you express your unhappiness on your profile with those, no, not really. Otherwise? Well, they just are.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

"I think it’s reasonable to send. It’s not out rightly offence or abusive and many would just accept it as a compliment

Just because you don’t doesn’t make it universally true

Unless you’ve stated in your profile you don’t like that stuff. If you have then use, it’s rude and uncalled for

That’s fair, the phrase “don’t ask don’t get” comes to mind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do people post attractive pictures of themselves if they don't want people to find them appealing?"

That's not what I said. I said I don't take/post photos of me for other people. I post them for ME. If other people find them appealing, ok. They don't need to tell me they've wanker over my pics though.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I think it all depends on how things are said. I tend to ignore such messages xx

Thanks Sparkle. It's TOT so I guess you're getting quite a few of those messages too? I do ignore them. I guess I just wanted to hear opinions. X"

Ah I never thought about that. I suppose it’s to be expected if you join in certain threads really.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Thing is when you send something like this you think you're the first person sending it and the person 'on a sex site' receiving it would be happy to get it.

Its a bit like "nice cock", "nice figure", "nice bod", "nice arse". I suppose if you don't want people commenting on your tits, cock, abs, other don't show em.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?" "

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

They wouldn’t be out in a bar though?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it’s reasonable to send. It’s not out rightly offence or abusive and many would just accept it as a compliment

Just because you don’t doesn’t make it universally true

Unless you’ve stated in your profile you don’t like that stuff. If you have then use, it’s rude and uncalled for

That’s fair, the phrase “don’t ask don’t get” comes to mind."

I guess...

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

They wouldn’t be out in a bar though?"

Damn.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

They wouldn’t be out in a bar though?

Damn.

Well. Depends how many Vinos have been consumed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

They wouldn’t be out in a bar though?"

I've posted photos with just a cleavage and wearing some clothes - still get the messages. I guess me having them out in any photo makes me "fair game" for some guys?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Why do people post attractive pictures of themselves if they don't want people to find them appealing?"

I think you missed the point completely. Unless you're suggesting that seeing a pair of tits turns people into zombies who can't help themselves sending a shit message.

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

On here it's to be expected, a compliment is a compliment regardless of how it's worded.

Yes some are not to personal taste but, you can't please everyone.

I can send a "wow your fit" to two men and one will appreciate it one will not. It is what it is

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

They wouldn’t be out in a bar though?

Damn.

Well. Depends how many Vinos have been consumed

'Barman - more wine for the lady please'

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I think it all depends on how things are said. I tend to ignore such messages xx

Thanks Sparkle. It's TOT so I guess you're getting quite a few of those messages too? I do ignore them. I guess I just wanted to hear opinions. X"

I've had one or two

I don't mind the "nice boobs/tits/chest whatever but like you said, I really don't need to know that a guy is wanking over a pic xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thing is when you send something like this you think you're the first person sending it and the person 'on a sex site' receiving it would be happy to get it.

Its a bit like "nice cock", "nice figure", "nice bod", "nice arse". I suppose if you don't want people commenting on your tits, cock, abs, other don't show em. "

Yes the same number of people who think "how're you" is original, I guess!

Well that's your perspective, and I guess a lot of people agree. But let's turn it around - men show their cocks quite a bit - do women send lots of similar messages? I've never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't mind them tbh and laugh them off or if it gets too much the block button happens.

Not looking for guys or couples but not filtered them out because we get some lovely compliments of respectful people who have read our profile and understand we wouldn't be interested. Bit of a ego boost really

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I get a lot of these messages, I just feel they don't really know how to start a conversation, and it's all fine because I just think we're not compatible and I move on.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

"Why do people post attractive pictures of themselves if they don't want people to find them appealing?

I think you missed the point completely. Unless you're suggesting that seeing a pair of tits turns people into zombies who can't help themselves sending a shit message."

I think you’ve missed the point that a “shit message” is person dependant. It’s an opinion not a fact

If someone messages me saying “great cheeks” I’d be thrilled!

Should be tell everyone not to send those messages because it upsets some? Even though it would make mine and many other peoples day?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"On here it's to be expected, a compliment is a compliment regardless of how it's worded.

Yes some are not to personal taste but, you can't please everyone.

I can send a "wow your fit" to two men and one will appreciate it one will not. It is what it is

Exactly. I think if you have them out people are likely to message to compliment them.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Any photo you show to all members on here will get attention, and will attract all kinds of messages.

You can't pick and choose what you get.

You take the ones you like with the ones you don't, or, you stop posting photos.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"On here it's to be expected, a compliment is a compliment regardless of how it's worded.

Yes some are not to personal taste but, you can't please everyone.

I can send a "wow your fit" to two men and one will appreciate it one will not. It is what it is

Exactly. I think if you have them out people are likely to message to compliment them. "

Yep. I've had male friends who've received similar opening messages to the OP (not about boobs!). Some have loved it, others less so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if your pics are mainly of one area of the body, you're probably going to get compliments and comments on them.

I guess they'd see it as, you obviously like that part of your body and so do they. They're trying to find a way to speak to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"On here it's to be expected, a compliment is a compliment regardless of how it's worded.

Yes some are not to personal taste but, you can't please everyone.

I can send a "wow your fit" to two men and one will appreciate it one will not. It is what it is

That's what I was asking! Thanks, Compersion. I do get what I would consider actual compliments as well and I reply to those. But "nice tits" is a crappy way to start a conversation and lazy.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

I often get messages saying nice tits or can I cum over your wife’s tits ..I decided to put my tits on a site like this so I can’t really complain about the messages I get about them .It’s a easy filter for us as we wouldn’t really be interested in the kind of people that send them .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't mind them tbh and laugh them off or if it gets too much the block button happens.

I don't find it an ego boost to be objectified but then I am not taking them as compliments? I can see it's the way people interpret them. I'm not offended nor do I get upset about them.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Dear lady, I write this message in hope that you may permit me to compliment you on your exquisite boobs.

Luv

Chunky xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I get a lot of these messages, I just feel they don't really know how to start a conversation, and it's all fine because I just think we're not compatible and I move on."

That echoes my opinion. When my profile says I value good conversation and I get "nice tits" - it's fairly obvious we are not a match!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Why do people post attractive pictures of themselves if they don't want people to find them appealing?

I think you missed the point completely. Unless you're suggesting that seeing a pair of tits turns people into zombies who can't help themselves sending a shit message.

I think you’ve missed the point that a “shit message” is person dependant. It’s an opinion not a fact

If someone messages me saying “great cheeks” I’d be thrilled!

Should be tell everyone not to send those messages because it upsets some? Even though it would make mine and many other peoples day? "

I think if a survey was done, the majority of women folk would say that's a shit message and they'd rather not receive it.

And yes, I agree that the term "shit" is absolutely person dependant, but the sensible and considerate thing to do would be to know your audience and show a little respect. I don't believe telling someone you've never spoken to before that they've given you a boner or they've wanked over your pics is respectful in the slightest.

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By *ildmanYorksMan
over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

"What do we think of these as first messages? My photos do show my breasts admittedly - does that mean it's understandable/acceptable that I get a lot of messages commenting on them? Eg "Hi, your tits are amazing. You make me so hard".

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person? "

They are the kind of comments I might make in a forum post to a Tits Out Tuesday thread or similar but I would be more polite in a message.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Yes think it's acceptable here! How u want to respond to them is of course up 2 each of us x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Any photo you show to all members on here will get attention, and will attract all kinds of messages.

You can't pick and choose what you get.

You take the ones you like with the ones you don't, or, you stop posting photos.

Yep. Very true. Take the rough with the smooth and appreciate that other people are quite happy to receive those messages. Although I think the "I am wanking over your tits" ones are entirely too much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a first message i think its a tad cavemanesque.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I think it's a reasonable assumption to make that anybody displaying less than chaste pictures of themselves on a website that was primarily designed to enable sexual liaisons will be open to advances of a sexual nature.

The fact that some people may not like the way that some of those advances are worded, or don't wish to receive them from some people is an inevitable part of having a profile in the public domain...I don't like some of the emails that I receive (bloody people asking me to pay bills! Arseholes

), but to a certain extent I control who has my email address.

I think messages like the examples given are perfectly acceptable, they're not abusive, they just don't suit personal tastes. The site provides tools for us all to tailor our experience on here, and nobody is forcing anyone to display naked pictures of themselves.

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By *ildb3rryWoman
over a year ago

Ratoath

I get so many of these messages a day and I don't normally reply because they're not putting in any effort or thought into it, why would we get along??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear lady, I write this message in hope that you may permit me to compliment you on your exquisite boobs.

Luv

Chunky xx"

Very polite, CG

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Dear lady, I write this message in hope that you may permit me to compliment you on your exquisite boobs.

Luv

Chunky xx

Very polite, CG

One tries.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Any photo you show to all members on here will get attention, and will attract all kinds of messages.

You can't pick and choose what you get.

You take the ones you like with the ones you don't, or, you stop posting photos.

You have to have a thick skin being on a site like this.

Even with photos showing barely anything you'll get flirty or sexual messages. They don't bother me, and if the sender is hot then I'll say thanks, you too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do people post attractive pictures of themselves if they don't want people to find them appealing?

I think you missed the point completely. Unless you're suggesting that seeing a pair of tits turns people into zombies who can't help themselves sending a shit message.

I think you’ve missed the point that a “shit message” is person dependant. It’s an opinion not a fact

If someone messages me saying “great cheeks” I’d be thrilled!

Should be tell everyone not to send those messages because it upsets some? Even though it would make mine and many other peoples day?

I think if a survey was done, the majority of women folk would say that's a shit message and they'd rather not receive it.

It certainly doesn't seem a great approach if you actually want to have sex as some women are clearly not keen on those types of message. I don't think they're respectful BUT that's my interpretation.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

"I think it's a reasonable assumption to make that anybody displaying less than chaste pictures of themselves on a website that was primarily designed to enable sexual liaisons will be open to advances of a sexual nature.

), but to a certain extent I control who has my email address.

Nailed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would delete and block if I got a message like that x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person?

They are the kind of comments I might make in a forum post to a Tits Out Tuesday thread or similar but I would be more polite in a message.

I've had messages commenting on my body but in a more polite and less lazy way. And that's fine with me, I reply if I can.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a first message i think its a tad cavemanesque."

Yup! Not exactly wooing, is it? And the wanking ones will get you blocked.

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"Any photo you show to all members on here will get attention, and will attract all kinds of messages.

You can't pick and choose what you get.

You take the ones you like with the ones you don't, or, you stop posting photos.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

), but to a certain extent I control who has my email address.

I certainly wouldn't call them abusive. Not at all. And you're absolutely on point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Any photo you show to all members on here will get attention, and will attract all kinds of messages.

You can't pick and choose what you get.

You take the ones you like with the ones you don't, or, you stop posting photos.

You have to have a thick skin being on a site like this.

Even with photos showing barely anything you'll get flirty or sexual messages. They don't bother me, and if the sender is hot then I'll say thanks, you too

To be fair I didn't get my boobs out for months and didn't show my body. I still got sexual messages. It was only the volume of them that did my head in and the expectation that I was always available.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would delete and block if I got a message like that x"

I delete the nice tits ones. Delete and block any wanking ones. But I will add something to my profile saying that's what I am doing.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

"I would delete and block if I got a message like that x

I delete the nice tits ones. Delete and block any wanking ones. But I will add something to my profile saying that's what I am doing."

Btw I don’t think it’s makes your profile negative either

If anything, the more info a profile I see the better. It’s a huge green flag to me when someone’s knows what they want, what they don’t, and communicate that

Once that’s on your profile, any messages like that are 100% dick moves. Not reading the profile isn’t an excuse, because messaging without checking the profile = dick move too

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

you wouldn't be in a bar with them on display either, if you don't want them commented on, then why put them on display so much and then complain that people comment on them is our thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person? "

You look ruddy lovely OP

take any good comment as a positive always x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not keep the topless pics in friends only? And just display in public the ones you want?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Just wanted to thank you for displaying such wonderful photos. They certainly caught my eye and I don't mind admitting made me feel all kinds of ways (I'm a boob man, and yours are

)

I look forward to seeing more as and when you post.

Non caveman man

(See, I've said nice tits and that I'm turned on, however I've done it with consideration and shown some respect)

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By *1nkseekersCouple
over a year ago

Bridgwater

Think it's to be expected here but it is a turn off and usually means we wont engage. Guess it serves a purpose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a real tough one to answer.

Personally I would never send any woman a message like that. Its rude and disrespectful.

On the other hand you have nudes on show for the entire site to see. This gives the opportunity to people of a different type of mindset to send such messages it's probably what gets them off.

It's mentioned on the forums many times, people use the site for different reasons.

Delete and block.

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By *inkyeroticaCouple
over a year ago

Ampthill

"Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

We’re not in bar, we are on a site focused around adults having sex with one another. And on that site you publicly post photos that could be described as revealing or even provocative.

What is the reason behind posting such photos and, what do you want to achieve by doing so?

It is not an unreasonable assumption by those contacting you that you’ve posted such photos to attract others to you and your profile. While their language and directness may not be to your taste, their style of compliment if nothing else can assist you in filtering those with whom you choose to engage.

Profiles are like brochures, or as those involved in sales will recognise the term “trading statement”. Your profile is your brand. You can position your brand to your target audience. Perhaps now is the time for a change?

Nothing above however negates the fact that everyone on here should be treated respectfully, regardless of how the are perceived by their profile, and clearly this hasn’t been the case for the OP.

We are always curious if guys get any worthwhile responses from the message type eluded to by the OP.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person? "

You have clearly brought it on yourself. But only because you are assuming that others share your thoughts, morals and intelligence.

Sadly on a social media platform and one for swingers there are a huge number of anonymous viewers of your profile that have nothing to lose by sending unimaginative messages. The advice I was given when I first signed up for online dating a few years back:

Develop a thick skin and fast

Never take offence

Never rise to a negative comment

Only believe a fraction of what you read.

Block & move on is the usual advice but that could become a full time job!

Chin up OP, and ‘chest out’. Sorry but couldn’t resist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never sent any messages like that and wouldn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't mind them tbh and laugh them off or if it gets too much the block button happens.

I don't find it an ego boost to be objectified but then I am not taking them as compliments? I can see it's the way people interpret them. I'm not offended nor do I get upset about them."

Did say I laugh off the " nice tits , my cock is hard " sort of message and do block if it carrys on that way.

The Ego boost I mentioned refered to the nice respectful comments we get , sometimes its nice to receive a compliment from a stranger.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm still waiting for my nice cock you make me Wet message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like going to a shoe shop and getting angry because they try to sell you shoes.

If you don't like conversations about shoes, don't go in the shoe shop.

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

), but to a certain extent I control who has my email address.

I like when you reply to threads before I do Lily, it so often means I can just say "you took the words right out of my brain"

Posh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems like going to a shoe shop and getting angry because they try to sell you shoes.

If you don't like conversations about shoes, don't go in the shoe shop."

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Seems like going to a shoe shop and getting angry because they try to sell you shoes.

If you don't like conversations about shoes, don't go in the shoe shop."

In a shoe shop, the salesperson would at least be polite whilst trying to sell you the shoes. You'd soon walk back out empty handed if they were Al Bundy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems like going to a shoe shop and getting angry because they try to sell you shoes.

If you don't like conversations about shoes, don't go in the shoe shop.

In a shoe shop, the salesperson would at least be polite whilst trying to sell you the shoes. You'd soon walk back out empty handed if they were Al Bundy "

I'll bet there's a market for that.

Maybe some people just need a different shoe shop.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Seems like going to a shoe shop and getting angry because they try to sell you shoes.

If you don't like conversations about shoes, don't go in the shoe shop.

In a shoe shop, the salesperson would at least be polite whilst trying to sell you the shoes. You'd soon walk back out empty handed if they were Al Bundy

I'll bet there's a market for that.

Maybe some people just need a different shoe shop."

So, the disrespectful people are cool, but those looking for something where they're viewed as a human being are in the wrong place?

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By *immerman100Man
over a year ago

Never never land

Tits sounds so common boob's is a better word.

Just looked at your profile you got some fantastic pictures

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By *onorary-UnicornCouple
over a year ago

hackbridge

We get first messages like that all the time, which I hate as we are a couples profile and I think it is just rude and disrespectful to not even acknowledge that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think both.

The site is full of sex pics, sex reviews, sex menus of what the person offers or wants. It's hardly conducive to chats about the weather.

Some people like the "nice tits luv" first message and some don't.

Makes it easy to reject instantly ... or invite for a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, the disrespectful people are cool, but those looking for something where they're viewed as a human being are in the wrong place? "

It isn't disrespectful to talk about shoes in the shoe shop. Some might argue it's rude to ignore them.

If you're getting angry about all the shoes surrounding you. Or even just angry because you don't like some of the shoes. Or you don't like the way some people in the shoe shop talk about shoes.

You can choose to find another shoe shop. Or have a think about whether you really want shoes.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"I think both.

The site is full of sex pics, sex reviews, sex menus of what the person offers or wants. It's hardly conducive to chats about the weather.

Some people like the "nice tits luv" first message and some don't.

Makes it easy to reject instantly ... or invite for a fuck. "

How do you take it?

Your coffee that is!

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

I generally ignore those types of messages, doesn't really make me interested in getting to know the person more intimately. I've tried to reply before with a thank you but the conversations don't last much longer so I don't bother now.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

Would you go out to a bar with your boobs hanging out like that though?

You're on a sex site (yes, yes swingers site I know but the main thrust of swinging is sex). A free sex site to boot and regardless of why you post your pictures, they are titillating to men who have come in search of titillation. Messages like that are inevitable and not unreasonable IMHO.

The builder analogy doesn't work either. Yes you post your pictures to make you feel goof but also to entice people and invite them to click on your profile.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We get them…whenever C posts a new pic, they start coming through.

It doesn’t bother us, it also doesn’t excite us.

Depends on the tone as to whether they get deleted or replied to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, the disrespectful people are cool, but those looking for something where they're viewed as a human being are in the wrong place?

It isn't disrespectful to talk about shoes in the shoe shop. Some might argue it's rude to ignore them.

If you're getting angry about all the shoes surrounding you. Or even just angry because you don't like some of the shoes. Or you don't like the way some people in the shoe shop talk about shoes.

You can choose to find another shoe shop. Or have a think about whether you really want shoes."

This is brilliant

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

), but to a certain extent I control who has my email address.

I like when you reply to threads before I do Lily, it so often means I can just say "you took the words right out of my brain"

Posh

Aww shucks...wish you'd got in first though, it would have saved me a lot of typing

I miss Gemini Man for that...he's saved my fingers a lot of work in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If being spoken to like that is something you dislike, then mention it first thing on your profile.

I can't be offended at comments like that because I am on a sex website and I'm putting explicit pictures out there for strangers to view. I think you'd have to be quite foolish to think nobody is looking at them and having a wank or getting turned on.

I feel the same when people complain about messages asking for sex. You're on an adult website where most people sign up to seek a sexual partner. If you're not making this incredibly well known through your profile, then it's not something I understand when you complain.

If it was somewhere like Facebook then yes, I'd completely agree and it isn't appropriate at all. But somewhere like this I don't understand the mindset of having explicit pictures and expecting people to not feel a certain way.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"So, the disrespectful people are cool, but those looking for something where they're viewed as a human being are in the wrong place?

It isn't disrespectful to talk about shoes in the shoe shop. Some might argue it's rude to ignore them.

If you're getting angry about all the shoes surrounding you. Or even just angry because you don't like some of the shoes. Or you don't like the way some people in the shoe shop talk about shoes.

You can choose to find another shoe shop. Or have a think about whether you really want shoes."

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"If being spoken to like that is something you dislike, then mention it first thing on your profile.

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By *drianukMan
over a year ago

Spain, Lancs

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

But if you post sexy pics on a swinging site I really don't think you can complain!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If being spoken to like that is something you dislike, then mention it first thing on your profile.

Perfectly put

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By *omethingDifferent4FunWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh-ish

"We’re not in bar, we are on a site focused around adults having sex with one another. And on that site you publicly post photos that could be described as revealing or even provocative.

What is the reason behind posting such photos and, what do you want to achieve by doing so?

Nothing above however negates the fact that everyone on here should be treated respectfully, regardless of how the are perceived by their profile, and clearly this hasn’t been the case for the OP.

We are always curious if guys get any worthwhile responses from the message type eluded to by the OP."

Exactly this! If you were taking photos for your own enjoyment, they'd be on your own phone/cloud storage. Posting photos on here is to let others see them.

Some people will post photos to enjoy some exhibitionism and get fabs/likes, others will post just to give a (literal) picture of themselves so anyone wanting to interact has an idea of what they look like (or are into).

As with everything, some people will enjoy crude/dirty talk, others will hate it. Some love a polite, non-sexual intro message, others will wonder why they're wasting time telling you about their day and just want to know if the want a threesome or not!

Messages/profiles will either attract you to interact or put you off and that part is within your control. I delete any that don't have the right attitude/profile that I like/find interesting and respond to those who do.

No point trying to tell people to behave a certain way as then your preference filter ends up tricked and wasting each other's time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would delete and block if I got a message like that x

I delete the nice tits ones. Delete and block any wanking ones. But I will add something to my profile saying that's what I am doing."

Beginning to think I should do the same as I get some crude first messages now and again but hardly anyone reads profiles anymore x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would delete and block if I got a message like that x

I delete the nice tits ones. Delete and block any wanking ones. But I will add something to my profile saying that's what I am doing.

Btw I don’t think it’s makes your profile negative either

If anything, the more info a profile I see the better. It’s a huge green flag to me when someone’s knows what they want, what they don’t, and communicate that

Once that’s on your profile, any messages like that are 100% dick moves. Not reading the profile isn’t an excuse, because messaging without checking the profile = dick move too "

I didn't particularly want a profile filled with "I will block if...". I did that when I joined and I don't like it. But I will add something to be clearer and then there's no come back as well.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

They get deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/01/22 12:01:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

You could think of it as a normal bar setting vs a swinging club.

It wouldn't be appropriate to talk to a stranger like that in an everyday bar. But if I was in a swinging setting walking around topless should I really be getting offended if a man has a hard dick looking at me? Why am I there if that kind of thing offends me?

It's part of the package of being here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

you wouldn't be in a bar with them on display either, if you don't want them commented on, then why put them on display so much and then complain that people comment on them is our thoughts"

I haven't complained? It's a discussion thread. I can have an opinion cant I?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person?

You look ruddy lovely OP

take any good comment as a positive always x"

Thank you

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By *omethingDifferent4FunWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh-ish

"Seems like going to a shoe shop and getting angry because they try to sell you shoes.

If you don't like conversations about shoes, don't go in the shoe shop.

In a shoe shop, the salesperson would at least be polite whilst trying to sell you the shoes. You'd soon walk back out empty handed if they were Al Bundy

I'll bet there's a market for that.

Maybe some people just need a different shoe shop.

So, the disrespectful people are cool, but those looking for something where they're viewed as a human being are in the wrong place? "

Maybe they just need a different shoe salesperson...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why not keep the topless pics in friends only? And just display in public the ones you want?"

I do display the ones in public that I want to. I was asking whether doing that means I'm "asking for" those kinds of messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just wanted to thank you for displaying such wonderful photos. They certainly caught my eye and I don't mind admitting made me feel all kinds of ways (I'm a boob man, and yours are

)

I look forward to seeing more as and when you post.

Non caveman man

(See, I've said nice tits and that I'm turned on, however I've done it with consideration and shown some respect)"

I'd respond to a message like that and think well of the man who sent it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This reminds me of the time I was out with my dog at the dog park.

People complimented my dog, because he’s a beautiful dog, and we were at the dog park, amongst other beautiful dogs but he clearly made an impression.

So although I like that he stood out amongst the other dogs I couldn’t believe people reduced him to just a dog, he’s my best friend, not just a dog.

This is like that, but with boobs.

If I didn’t want my dog to be complimented I’d have taken him to a cat park.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"So, the disrespectful people are cool, but those looking for something where they're viewed as a human being are in the wrong place?

It isn't disrespectful to talk about shoes in the shoe shop. Some might argue it's rude to ignore them.

If you're getting angry about all the shoes surrounding you. Or even just angry because you don't like some of the shoes. Or you don't like the way some people in the shoe shop talk about shoes.

You can choose to find another shoe shop. Or have a think about whether you really want shoes."

If the salesperson got all up in your face, slapping you up the head with a pair of wellies despite you carrying a sign saying you're looking for a pair of flip flops, I'd say that was pretty disrespectful and not really having a conversation at all, and the person would not only be well within their rights to ignore, they'd also have a case to write a letter of complaint to head office.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If the salesperson got all up in your face, slapping you up the head with a pair of wellies despite you carrying a sign saying you're looking for a pair of flip flops, I'd say that was pretty disrespectful and not really having a conversation at all, and the person would not only be well within their rights to ignore, they'd also have a case to write a letter of complaint to head office."

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

We’re not in bar, we are on a site focused around adults having sex with one another. And on that site you publicly post photos that could be described as revealing or even provocative.

What is the reason behind posting such photos and, what do you want to achieve by doing so?

Nothing above however negates the fact that everyone on here should be treated respectfully, regardless of how the are perceived by their profile, and clearly this hasn’t been the case for the OP.

We are always curious if guys get any worthwhile responses from the message type eluded to by the OP."

I post the photos because they make me feel good about myself. Positive in a way I've never felt before. I am respectful to others. I expect others to be respectful to me. Some people don't think "nice tits love" is respectful - some people do. I don't, so I just don't reply. I'm not angry, I'm not upset, I'm not complaining. I'm just stating it as I see it. I can post anything I like. People can messages whatever they like. I'm free to react as I choose.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person?

You have clearly brought it on yourself. But only because you are assuming that others share your thoughts, morals and intelligence.

Develop a thick skin and fast

Never take offence

Never rise to a negative comment

Only believe a fraction of what you read.

Block & move on is the usual advice but that could become a full time job!

Chin up OP, and ‘chest out’. Sorry but couldn’t resist."

I guess that's what some people think. I bring those messages on myself. Fair enough, But if the point is to get a response from me or sex - it won't work. I don't assume others are the same as me - that's why I started the thread!

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I would never send someone a first message like that.

On the other hand, I personally enjoy receiving messages like that.

Different things for different people!

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By *drianukMan
over a year ago

Spain, Lancs

"This reminds me of the time I was out with my dog at the dog park.

People complimented my dog, because he’s a beautiful dog, and we were at the dog park, amongst other beautiful dogs but he clearly made an impression.

So although I like that he stood out amongst the other dogs I couldn’t believe people reduced him to just a dog, he’s my best friend, not just a dog.

This is like that, but with boobs.

If I didn’t want my dog to be complimented I’d have taken him to a cat park.

A good analogy. Very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies."

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think "are you a builder who shouts at and heckles women as they walk past?"

Well, precisely. If you wouldn't go up to a woman in a bar and comment on her boobs, why message her? But apparently being on this site means it's ok somehow.

But if you post sexy pics on a swinging site I really don't think you can complain!"

No. But I can choose not to reply. So I do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies? "

Hang on - are my boobs the wellies in this analogy?

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By *thfloorCouple
over a year ago

Hove

"On here it's to be expected, a compliment is a compliment regardless of how it's worded.

Yes some are not to personal taste but, you can't please everyone.

I can send a "wow your fit" to two men and one will appreciate it one will not. It is what it is

That's what I was asking! Thanks, Compersion. I do get what I would consider actual compliments as well and I reply to those. But "nice tits" is a crappy way to start a conversation and lazy."

OP can you give an example of a compliment that is respectful and considers you as a person? I'm willing to bet it is no less objectifying than "nice tits", it is literally "nice tits" but swathed in some culture & education & creative writing. So in my view... the nice tits comments are not necessarily rude as they are honest. They are also the lowest common denominator of course it's your prerogative if that's not the level you want to engage at.

Putting some caveats back on your profile is an excellent idea, then you'll know that whoever chose to send you such comments has not bothered reading or has actively chosen to ignore your preferences. I sympathise with you as the volume of these comments can get relentless and it's a cumulative effect, I usually delete my single fem accounts at the 7momth mark. I also agree with you that the men who tell you they're wanking on your pics are rude and out of line, that is only acceptable if the profile welcomes it. But the throwaway body parts compliments are just a kneejerk (cockjerk???) reaction to frankly some spectacular boobage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies? "

I think it's a feature for platinum members.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

Hang on - are my boobs the wellies in this analogy?

I like flip flops.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

I think if your putting those images out there you have to accept people will message/comment on them & most of those comments won't be eloquent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If posting your pics is giving you confidence then keep posting them. You've put them out there for your own reasons.

You will always get messages from nob heads about them, some will be rude, some will be trying their luck, some will be complimentary. take no notice of the first 2 and take the compliments with a smile.

Nice Boobs x

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

The problem is they do not invite discourse. What can you say other than thank you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

Hang on - are my boobs the wellies in this analogy?

I have absolutely no idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

Hang on - are my boobs the wellies in this analogy?

I have absolutely no idea

I also hope not!

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By *ailor SamMan
over a year ago

Barnoldswick

I tend to think " would I say this to their face" before I send a message. I would gauge any reply,if I got one, on how to word my responses.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"On here it's to be expected, a compliment is a compliment regardless of how it's worded.

Yes some are not to personal taste but, you can't please everyone.

I can send a "wow your fit" to two men and one will appreciate it one will not. It is what it is

That's what I was asking! Thanks, Compersion. I do get what I would consider actual compliments as well and I reply to those. But "nice tits" is a crappy way to start a conversation and lazy.

Lol thank you. Yes I can see that for many people "nice tits love" isn't rude. Pretty lazy though?

I guess part of it is that it's a one liner. And I find all of them crap whether they mention my boobs or not! A compliment to me would say something about the photos showing off my lovely body or how my profile and photos are seductive etc. I get messages like that too and yep they're dressed up "nice tits". But..I take stylish, classy photos. I make an effort. I would like an effort in the message. No-one is obliged to message me? I'm not obliged to reply.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

Hang on - are my boobs the wellies in this analogy?

I have absolutely no idea

I also hope not!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

Hang on - are my boobs the wellies in this analogy?

I like flip flops."

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

"I think it’s reasonable to send. It’s not out rightly offence or abusive and many would just accept it as a compliment

Just because you don’t doesn’t make it universally true

Unless you’ve stated in your profile you don’t like that stuff. If you have then use, it’s rude and uncalled for

You've hit the nail on the head men see the visual and don't read the text

In an ideal world that wouldn't happen but the reality is that many are on here simply for what they believe is easy sex & they seem to think comments like that will get them meets

They'll be the same ones posting in the forums that they can't get meets

It's a difficult one as I'd say unless you block all men from messaging you, it's just something you've got to accept from the site.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

So that's a 'NO' to some 'welly wangling' then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive put this on my profile ..it works for those that can be bothered to read it I think ?

i dont want to post a whole set of do's and donts but please be respectful..its very easy just to hit the block button and you are gone in a moment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The problem is they do not invite discourse. What can you say other than thank you?"

Yes what we ladies really need is open ended versions of "nice tits"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I tend to think " would I say this to their face" before I send a message. I would gauge any reply,if I got one, on how to word my responses. "

I think that's a great approach personally

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So that's a 'NO' to some 'welly wangling' then?

We've talked about this!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies? "

Not entirely no, I'm just saying if you've taken steps to make it clear what you're in the shop for (on the site for) and the salesman doesn't respect your wishes, it's a bit of a slap in the face.

If you weren't making it clear why you where there it wouldn't be that difficult to have a chat about it as long as it was done with consideration and respect. You may purchase some shoes, you may not, but you'd wish each other a lovely day and leave it at that.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"So that's a 'NO' to some 'welly wangling' then?

We've talked about this!

Pffffft.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

Hang on - are my boobs the wellies in this analogy?

I have absolutely no idea

I just thought of 2 items of footwear that couldn't be further apart visually or what you'd use them for. No more than that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect that message from hubster when I send a pic of my tits

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

Not entirely no, I'm just saying if you've taken steps to make it clear what you're in the shop for (on the site for) and the salesman doesn't respect your wishes, it's a bit of a slap in the face.

Ok so I should set out my shop so it's clear I'm a classy girl who wants classy messages even if I have my spectacular boobage out? I can do that!

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By *ailor SamMan
over a year ago

Barnoldswick

"I tend to think " would I say this to their face" before I send a message. I would gauge any reply,if I got one, on how to word my responses.

I think that's a great approach personally "

I seems to work for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I expect that message from hubster when I send a pic of my tits

Well if I had a hubster I don't think I'd mind such messages

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I tend to think " would I say this to their face" before I send a message. I would gauge any reply,if I got one, on how to word my responses.

I think that's a great approach personally

I seems to work for me"

Fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like the word tits. Much rather they were referred to as boobs."

I'm ot sure that would work on springwatch

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

Not entirely no, I'm just saying if you've taken steps to make it clear what you're in the shop for (on the site for) and the salesman doesn't respect your wishes, it's a bit of a slap in the face.

Ok so I should set out my shop so it's clear I'm a classy girl who wants classy messages even if I have my spectacular boobage out? I can do that! "

Fuck knows

Regardless of the nature of the site, I think it's more about society in general and lack of thought, lack of respect and lack of effort. An endemic born from a society unwilling to believe they contribute to problems and take responsibility for how their behaviour impacts others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I really like that this has been such a polite thread with no name calling or anyone getting upset.

It's just different ways of doing things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, I expect it because it's the nature of the site.

But those kinds of messages that lead with overly sexual compliments on my body, or overly descriptive fetishes, I will pass by.

I like to connect on a human level first. People that send those messages seem to think it's an Argos catalog of done inside five mins

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I tend to think " would I say this to their face" before I send a message. I would gauge any reply,if I got one, on how to word my responses. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think both.

The site is full of sex pics, sex reviews, sex menus of what the person offers or wants. It's hardly conducive to chats about the weather.

Some people like the "nice tits luv" first message and some don't.

Makes it easy to reject instantly ... or invite for a fuck.

How do you take it?

Your coffee that is! "

I only do coffee chat with people I'm meeting.

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

), but to a certain extent I control who has my email address.

I like when you reply to threads before I do Lily, it so often means I can just say "you took the words right out of my brain"

Posh

Aww shucks...wish you'd got in first though, it would have saved me a lot of typing

I miss Gemini Man for that...he's saved my fingers a lot of work in the past

Sorry..... I'll try and be quicker in future

He did tend to do that, didn't he!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really like that this has been such a polite thread with no name calling or anyone getting upset.

It's just different ways of doing things.

cobblers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person? "

You do have amazing breasts, I must admit I might be one of those men who who say that, so I apologise if that makes you feel like an object.

I wouldn't initially msg someone just to say they make me horny or get me hard, which to me is a bit crass, but I like to compliment ppl and make them feel nice.thats the intention anywat

You look amazing, in my opinion not just your breasts all of you.

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By *awpleasureMan
over a year ago

Sutton Coldfield

"Why do people post attractive pictures of themselves if they don't want people to find them appealing?"

True but there's a way to express your appreciation rather than "great tits"

I'm sure op wouldn't mind so much if there was other content as well as a remark about her boobs.

Hi blah blah and btw you have a cracking figure is likely to get the sender a better response

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

), but to a certain extent I control who has my email address.

I like when you reply to threads before I do Lily, it so often means I can just say "you took the words right out of my brain"

Posh

Aww shucks...wish you'd got in first though, it would have saved me a lot of typing

I miss Gemini Man for that...he's saved my fingers a lot of work in the past

Sorry..... I'll try and be quicker in future

He did tend to do that, didn't he!

Where / why did he go?

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

"I tend to think " would I say this to their face" before I send a message. I would gauge any reply,if I got one, on how to word my responses. "

Maybe the folk who send these messages do think that. They might say these things to someone's face, especially if that person was half naked in front of them (as a lot of us are in many photos).

Posh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I do think the fact you have the pics in public, and the fact your profile says you are naturally submissive, make these guys think thats the kind of comments you will respond to.

I put in my profile that crude messages are unwelcome. It didn't stop them coming, but dramatically reduces them. The ones that ignore the message, we'll thats what the block button is for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd never enter a shoe shop that sold wellies.

I was following the shoe shop comparison until now. Is sending a message the same as getting in someone's face and hitting them on the head with wellies?

Not entirely no, I'm just saying if you've taken steps to make it clear what you're in the shop for (on the site for) and the salesman doesn't respect your wishes, it's a bit of a slap in the face.

Ok so I should set out my shop so it's clear I'm a classy girl who wants classy messages even if I have my spectacular boobage out? I can do that!

Fuck knows

I'd categorise those who send "nice tits" as just somewhat thoughtless and lazy rather than anything else. I've challenged guys about it and their cock avatars and they hadn't even thought about the effect on women. It's a compliment and they think women want to see their cock. Sending "wanking over you" messages is taking it further and I think that is really disrespectful.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Doesn’t bother me, I’m naked or scantily clad in most pictures, I presume nice tits or nice whatever is just a reflection of what they can see of me - they don’t know me but there compliment is based on what I put out there so I don’t see it as a bad thing - sure if it leads to them being overly crass or rude it’s not great but generally if I respond it’s with a thanks and move on x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people post attractive pictures of themselves if they don't want people to find them appealing?"

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person? "

I altered my profile pic to the torso one, to take part in 'Torso Tuesday' this morning. I received a "nice torso" message from a lovely lady, and it made my day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But..I take stylish, classy photos. I make an effort. "

As opposed to what? Those who have their tits out in a way that isn't stylish or classy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose if you have pics you invite comments. Hopefully nice ones but its a compliment to 1 person is offensive to another.

To be fair tho, I get so few messages I'd be happy if someone just messaged 'Twat!' at me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it’s reasonable to send. It’s not out rightly offence or abusive and many would just accept it as a compliment

Just because you don’t doesn’t make it universally true

Unless you’ve stated in your profile you don’t like that stuff. If you have then use, it’s rude and uncalled for

You've hit the nail on the head men see the visual and don't read the text

In an ideal world that wouldn't happen but the reality is that many are on here simply for what they believe is easy sex & they seem to think comments like that will get them meets

They'll be the same ones posting in the forums that they can't get meets

It's a difficult one as I'd say unless you block all men from messaging you, it's just something you've got to accept from the site. "

Yes absolutely fair

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I really like that this has been such a polite thread with no name calling or anyone getting upset.

It's just different ways of doing things.

cobblers

What's cobblers?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

These messages make me feel like an object but have I brought it on myself or is it reasonable to be treated like a person?

I altered my profile pic to the torso one, to take part in 'Torso Tuesday' this morning. I received a "nice torso" message from a lovely lady, and it made my day

You do have a nice torso! I need to go fabbing for that thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But..I take stylish, classy photos. I make an effort.

As opposed to what? Those who have their tits out in a way that isn't stylish or classy?

As opposed to nowt - I just think I take nice photos. Don't look for criticism that isn't there.

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By *tokeman4str8funMan
over a year ago

clayton, newcastle

"What is the best way to talk about them, is it breasts boobs or tits"

I've often wondered how to compliment these in a way that isn't pervy or sexual.

You can compliment 'nice shoes, you look great in that dress, you did really well on that last bit etc etc'

But when someone has a real amazing bum, great boobs, but you don't want to say anything comes across sleazy.

Hi, can I just say your..... Bottom/derriere is really quite lovely in those jeans today.......

Erm

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I really like that this has been such a polite thread with no name calling or anyone getting upset.

It's just different ways of doing things.

cobblers

What's cobblers? "

Shoe shop

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By *tokeman4str8funMan
over a year ago

clayton, newcastle

"For me, I expect it because it's the nature of the site.

But those kinds of messages that lead with overly sexual compliments on my body, or overly descriptive fetishes, I will pass by.

Nature of the site for sure.

There's ways to compliment, but also ways to come across as sleazy rude to.

Has to be done the right way is all

I like to connect on a human level first. People that send those messages seem to think it's an Argos catalog of done inside five mins "

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"What is the best way to talk about them, is it breasts boobs or tits

I've often wondered how to compliment these in a way that isn't pervy or sexual.

You can compliment 'nice shoes, you look great in that dress, you did really well on that last bit etc etc'

But when someone has a real amazing bum, great boobs, but you don't want to say anything comes across sleazy.

Hi, can I just say your..... Bottom/derriere is really quite lovely in those jeans today.......

Erm"

I gave an example further up the thread that took a whole 30 seconds to write. It isn't difficult, just takes writing with the brain instead of the penis.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is the best way to talk about them, is it breasts boobs or tits

I've often wondered how to compliment these in a way that isn't pervy or sexual.

You can compliment 'nice shoes, you look great in that dress, you did really well on that last bit etc etc'

But when someone has a real amazing bum, great boobs, but you don't want to say anything comes across sleazy.

Hi, can I just say your..... Bottom/derriere is really quite lovely in those jeans today.......

Erm"

I think that's a lovely compliment

I also smile when men say things like "quality boobage". If I message a man I don't tend to say anything about their body but perhaps I should. I'd tie it in with other things though. Not just one line.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I really like that this has been such a polite thread with no name calling or anyone getting upset.

It's just different ways of doing things.

cobblers

What's cobblers?

Shoe shop

D'oh

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

It doesn't matter to me how a man writes a compliment about my boobs, he wants to get his hands on them, regardless

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"What is the best way to talk about them, is it breasts boobs or tits

I've often wondered how to compliment these in a way that isn't pervy or sexual.

You can compliment 'nice shoes, you look great in that dress, you did really well on that last bit etc etc'

But when someone has a real amazing bum, great boobs, but you don't want to say anything comes across sleazy.

Hi, can I just say your..... Bottom/derriere is really quite lovely in those jeans today.......

Erm"

For me, don't overdo the niceness as it comes across false.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people post attractive pictures of themselves if they don't want people to find them appealing?

What do you mean by "I post them for me"?

I mean if you didn't want other people to see them make them private. If you want others to see them how is it for you? Or is it the case that you want to be in control of how people react to you, that you want a specific type of reaction to make you feel good? It's a free world. People will react to your photos in whatever way they want to. You have a choice, ignore responses you don't like or stop doing the things that get those responses. What you cannot control is how people react and how they think. It's not illegal to say 'nice tits' any more than it's illegal to say nice smile - especially as you have publicly displayed your breasts.

Would I/we respond to such a first message? Highly unlikely. Would we expect other people to text to us in the ways we proscribe? No, not at all.

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By *tokeman4str8funMan
over a year ago

clayton, newcastle

"What is the best way to talk about them, is it breasts boobs or tits

I've often wondered how to compliment these in a way that isn't pervy or sexual.

You can compliment 'nice shoes, you look great in that dress, you did really well on that last bit etc etc'

But when someone has a real amazing bum, great boobs, but you don't want to say anything comes across sleazy.

Hi, can I just say your..... Bottom/derriere is really quite lovely in those jeans today.......

Erm

I gave an example further up the thread that took a whole 30 seconds to write. It isn't difficult, just takes writing with the brain instead of the penis."

Erm thanks for the hostility, I'm writing that in between working and wondering best way to out things that isn't shitty.

But thanks for ruining that

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