FabSwingers.com forum: When every new message...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...even a complimentary one, is just a more creative way of calling you fat

Terms I've had literally in the past day or so:

- "Immense"

- "Larger lady"

- "Weighty woman"

- "Did somebody say JustEat"

- "Big juicy bum" (par for the course tbf)

- BBW (hate this term soooo much)

- "Fake as fuck" (that one was a surprise

)

Would love to know whether thin women get comments based on the actual size of their body, i.e "thinner lady" etc? Or are people able to compliment you and just say they like your body without bringing your size/weight into it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I simply tell someone they have a fantastic figure if I like what I see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just say "ten out of ten for observation" lol gotta say you look amaaaaaazing girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...even a complimentary one, is just a more creative way of calling you fat

Terms I've had literally in the past day or so:

- "Immense"

- "Larger lady"

- "Weighty woman"

- "Did somebody say JustEat"

- "Big juicy bum" (par for the course tbf)

- BBW (hate this term soooo much)

- "Fake as fuck" (that one was a surprise

)

Amber you are just sexy, end of discussion!! Anyone disagrees will get my size 11s up their arse.

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By *ave1963BarnsleyMan
over a year ago

Barnsley

"...even a complimentary one, is just a more creative way of calling you fat

Terms I've had literally in the past day or so:

- "Immense"

- "Larger lady"

- "Weighty woman"

- "Did somebody say JustEat"

- "Big juicy bum" (par for the course tbf)

- BBW (hate this term soooo much)

- "Fake as fuck" (that one was a surprise

)

Hmmm, let's see Amber. Oh, and by the way, these are my honest thoughts based on your profile pics.

Sexy, desirable and gorgeous spring to mind. I'll add when can you get yourself to Jaydees so Mistress and I can meet you?

People can be thoughtless when they message but the world is full of dickheads. Sod 'em and know that you are wanted and appreciated by many more.

I see a beautiful woman and to be quite frank you turn me on.

Please do message us if you'd like to chat xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...even a complimentary one, is just a more creative way of calling you fat

Terms I've had literally in the past day or so:

- "Immense"

- "Larger lady"

- "Weighty woman"

- "Did somebody say JustEat"

- "Big juicy bum" (par for the course tbf)

- BBW (hate this term soooo much)

- "Fake as fuck" (that one was a surprise

)

I think some just assume because you are fat, you are comfortable with it - and with the 'polite' derivations of it

I think some are just ignorant

I think some are hedging their bets with their language

I think some are ashamed to fancy fat people so pussy foot around their approach

I also think that, as a fat person, you put emphasis on words that others consider 'kind' and they matter just as much

I say that as a guy who has struggled with his weight from being school age

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By *ocktoplaywithMan
over a year ago

Derby

Seen your profile and I see one very sexy lady

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I’ve had various things over the years, I don’t like it and it hurts. My profile even makes suggestion that I’m not comfortable in my skin so highlighting my weight is not helpful.

Although the lastest one was “fat c**t” because I didn’t reply to his initial first 3 messages of “wanna fuk”, I replied with a somewhat pleasant no to then get my reply

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

As a slim woman I don't think I've had any comments like that based on my size.

I think I've been told I had an amazing figure and some have mentioned how good it looks after having had kids (which to be fair is mentioned in our bio). But no backhanded compliments like yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...even a complimentary one, is just a more creative way of calling you fat

Terms I've had literally in the past day or so:

- "Immense"

- "Larger lady"

- "Weighty woman"

- "Did somebody say JustEat"

- "Big juicy bum" (par for the course tbf)

- BBW (hate this term soooo much)

- "Fake as fuck" (that one was a surprise

)

Have you ever responded favourably to one of these after reviewing the sender’s profile?

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

Imagine calling a woman's body "immense" and thinking that's a compliment. I'm sorry but that one really stuck with me

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

As a fat woman I've not really (that I can remember) had compliments like that about my size or body. I've had the "you'd give amazing tit wanks" or "I want to watch you jiggle as I fuck you" but that's as backhanded complimentary as it gets.

I get it must be crappy but do you think that maybe, and I'm wording this very carefully, you're more sensitive/aware of comments and take them more to heart? I think sometimes people clumsily compliment and it's the intention that we should read. Maybe they're trying to show appreciation but they're also wanking - it's difficult to one handed type.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Nothing about size, but I get a lot about age. Like I've got the body of a 35 year old or the like.

That's just really wrong, I know they think they're probably paying you a compliment but they need to leave out the size reference

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a fat woman I've not really (that I can remember) had compliments like that about my size or body. I've had the "you'd give amazing tit wanks" or "I want to watch you jiggle as I fuck you" but that's as backhanded complimentary as it gets.

OK so I have actually questioned some of the worse stuff I've received.

Some guy called me a fat pig and asked if I wanted to be fed or something. It was the first thing I saw when I logged in that morning so I thought I should let him know he'd just ruined my entire day with one message. He accused me of overreacting and that it was just role play and he thought I would be into it, and that he thinks my body is sexy really etc etc. Literally nowhere on my profile has it EVER said I like roleplay...

Another time someone said something shitty (can't remember what) so I just kept deleting until they started sending proper abuse through. I finally snapped and they said that's what they wanted all along because they have an inferiority complex and get off on women talking to them like shit, so were deliberately trying to provoke me

he then started to backtrack and call me goddess and shit, it was an absolutely wild experience.

I don't think I'm more aware, I think I just invite more comments based on my body because I'm not afraid to put it out there. The issue is that this wouldn't happen if I were slim.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...even a complimentary one, is just a more creative way of calling you fat

Terms I've had literally in the past day or so:

- "Immense"

- "Larger lady"

- "Weighty woman"

- "Did somebody say JustEat"

- "Big juicy bum" (par for the course tbf)

- BBW (hate this term soooo much)

- "Fake as fuck" (that one was a surprise

)

Have you ever responded favourably to one of these after reviewing the sender’s profile?"

Nope. Sometimes if they seem like otherwise nice people I do let them know that I don't like the term BBW and that's why I'm turning them down but no, I've never gone on to meet anyone that has made explicitly size-based comments (other than "curves/curvy").

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Imagine calling a woman's body "immense" and thinking that's a compliment. I'm sorry but that one really stuck with me

Trust me, it's like some men have never spoken to a real live woman before

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I really appreciate the compliments and people trying to make me feel better

but just making it clear I wasn't fishing for compliments

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

So many backhanded compliments. It's like they have to let you know that they're 'ok' with it. Ughh. I might not be everyone's cup of tea but I'm someone's shot of whiskey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you look stunning in your pics and i did try to email but i'm outwith your age range.

especially the red in the proile pic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They comment on the pics they see. Some will be meant as compliments. Some are nasty but I'd just take it as a compliment.

Cavemen don't have many words in their vocabulary....

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By *anchester_gentMan
over a year ago

Manchester/ Cheshire border

If I were able to message I’d simply be saying that you’re bloody gorgeous! And thanking you for sharing the photos.

Sadly some guys just crave the attention of a response. Whatever it is. And their attitude to Fab is like a driver with road rage. They are safe behind their keyboard and they say stuff that they’d never say to your face.

Report any and all abuse. It gets the site and the genuine swingers a bad name.

Oh…. Did I mention you were gorgeous?

Dan x

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Weighty woman sounds like a knock off superhero!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Weighty woman sounds like a knock off superhero!"

Sits on her foes and squashes them to death

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They comment on the pics they see. Some will be meant as compliments. Some are nasty but I'd just take it as a compliment.

Cavemen don't have many words in their vocabulary...."

A lot of it is a case of just putting their foot in their mouth to be fair. I just don't understand why people constantly need to bring up size when they are talking to plus sized women, as if that somehow puts them apart from the rest of the "normal" womenfolk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Weighty woman sounds like a knock off superhero!

Sits on her foes and squashes them to death

I do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not the only one, it seems to be the month for cockwombles to be out in force with the fucktard comments....I've got so fed up with it I've virtually hidden my profile pictures now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They comment on the pics they see. Some will be meant as compliments. Some are nasty but I'd just take it as a compliment.

Cavemen don't have many words in their vocabulary....

They may just love that aspect. My friend loves bigger women and he uses words like massive tits or big arse. He means it in a nice way but some women maybe offended by his directness.

Not in a fetishy way, he just loves it.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Been called;

Fat chimp

That I have lovely udders.

Pig is a common one I've been called.

I must look like an animal or something

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They comment on the pics they see. Some will be meant as compliments. Some are nasty but I'd just take it as a compliment.

Cavemen don't have many words in their vocabulary....

They may just love that aspect. My friend loves bigger women and he uses words like massive tits or big arse. He means it in a nice way but some women maybe offended by his directness.

Not in a fetishy way, he just loves it. "

Hmm yeah fair enough. Maybe it is just a personal thing then. In which case I wouldn't be compatible with these men anyway *shrug*

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Just keyboard warriors OP. I've had loads of horrible messages but I've grown a thick skin over the years on here and the don't faze me now. I couldn't give 2 hoots what strangers online think of me. Says more about them as a person at the end of the day x

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

The best I had recently was someone who had met me several times claiming that it was a preference for "healthy" women was the reason for his ghosting me. So he would have preferred me if I was a smoker and heavy drinker as long as I was skinny?

Things that make you go hmm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing Fab has taught me over the years is that some people have no diplomacy at all.

Then they wonder why they don’t get replies to their tactless messages.

I know I’m older than most women on here I’m also aware that my childbearing body reflects that. However it’s amazing the amount of times people tell me I’m not bad for an older, bigger woman or granny! (Which I’m not yet)

Am I supposed to be grateful for that and leap into bed with them?

My only advice, which I follow myself, is to dwell on the nice comments and ignore the ones from those that don’t stand a cat in hells chance of ever being lucky enough to meet.

Viv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the ones who love bbw, drives me wild and not in a good way

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"They comment on the pics they see. Some will be meant as compliments. Some are nasty but I'd just take it as a compliment.

Cavemen don't have many words in their vocabulary....

They may just love that aspect. My friend loves bigger women and he uses words like massive tits or big arse. He means it in a nice way but some women maybe offended by his directness.

Not in a fetishy way, he just loves it. "

That's exactly what I was trying to talk about - I wasn't referencing deliberately and clearly horrible remarks (there weren't any in the OP that were out and out), more the ones in the OP where it might be baffling to some, insulting to others and maybe 1 in 1000000 might actually find it a turn on.

I think that some men/people see using certain terms as a compliment. I've never been called any of these things in a message on here but I can understand why it might be a bit irksome. You're not that well suited.

As far as being fat and having my body complimented in a way it wouldn't if I was slimmer? I don't know... maybe because society says that big is bad they're clumsily saying it's not?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

That is a nice bum Amber

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/22 16:30:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They comment on the pics they see. Some will be meant as compliments. Some are nasty but I'd just take it as a compliment.

Cavemen don't have many words in their vocabulary....

They may just love that aspect. My friend loves bigger women and he uses words like massive tits or big arse. He means it in a nice way but some women maybe offended by his directness.

Not in a fetishy way, he just loves it.

***As far as being fat and having my body complimented in a way it wouldn't if I was slimmer? I don't know... maybe because society says that big is bad they're clumsily saying it's not? ***"

Agree. And...

***Yeah I thought this too. As in they love bigger women and find the pics attractive and want to somehow make that known because they understand that other men may be nasty about it. Sort of like they are over compensating, if that makes sense.

'I really mean it in a nice way!'

Difficult to accurately suss out the true compliments from the white knight horse shit when it's in text.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get it often too and actually a message that I received about 2 minutes ago was them telling me they had a big cake for me to eat so when can we meet!

I'm very straight about the fact I'm on the bigger side though, so I don't mind. I get it's annoying and some of the comments are completely bizarre... but most of the time it does come from a good place where they like a big woman and they want you to know it isn't an issue for them and they like you even more for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enough said

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Are your filters quite tight? Do you accept messages from newbies and no pubic pics? I found the twatty messages mostly came from those until I blocked them. Must admit I’ve never had anything really bad. I’m sorry you have

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By *ondoner27Man
over a year ago

london

"...even a complimentary one, is just a more creative way of calling you fat

Terms I've had literally in the past day or so:

- "Immense"

- "Larger lady"

- "Weighty woman"

- "Did somebody say JustEat"

- "Big juicy bum" (par for the course tbf)

- BBW (hate this term soooo much)

- "Fake as fuck" (that one was a surprise

)

Surprised to hear that you’re getting messages like that. I think you look great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are a beauty Amber.

I agree that these messages are probably coming from a good place but when they're from a stranger they can hurt.

I've had a lot of 'fat ass' comments that used to get to me a bit, but I've come to realise that I think it's just a lack of tact compliment and it wasn't meant to be hurtful. Like others have said, lock up your filters a bit X

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"...even a complimentary one, is just a more creative way of calling you fat

Terms I've had literally in the past day or so:

- "Immense"

- "Larger lady"

- "Weighty woman"

- "Did somebody say JustEat"

- "Big juicy bum" (par for the course tbf)

- BBW (hate this term soooo much)

- "Fake as fuck" (that one was a surprise

)

I have a suggestion for the message problem. Block those genders that send the messages and search for those whom.you seek.

As for the other question no idea

I have had messages saying things like "for your age you're fit'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are your filters quite tight? Do you accept messages from newbies and no pubic pics? I found the twatty messages mostly came from those until I blocked them. Must admit I’ve never had anything really bad. I’m sorry you have

Yeah they're pretty tight. Those examples in my OP, apart from the "fake as fuck", were all meant as compliments though...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You are a beauty Amber.

I agree that these messages are probably coming from a good place but when they're from a stranger they can hurt.

Thank you xx

I get that, but just because it's not meant in a hurtful way doesn't mean it isn't. It's like when family/friends do the "you're so pretty for a big girl!" thing or "ooh if you just lost some weight...".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...even a complimentary one, is just a more creative way of calling you fat

Terms I've had literally in the past day or so:

- "Immense"

- "Larger lady"

- "Weighty woman"

- "Did somebody say JustEat"

- "Big juicy bum" (par for the course tbf)

- BBW (hate this term soooo much)

- "Fake as fuck" (that one was a surprise

)

Surprised to hear that you’re getting messages like that. I think you look great.

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would you like to be called? Maybe put that on your profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I get it often too and actually a message that I received about 2 minutes ago was them telling me they had a big cake for me to eat so when can we meet!

Yeah maybe it's just my personal hang-ups then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What would you like to be called? Maybe put that on your profile "

But why should it be up to me to teach people how to be tactful?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a size 12, I do get complimented without referring to my size, usually a generic one about my face, but when I do get my size mentioned it’s “I like a bigger lady” “don’t mind a bigger lady” “like people of all sizes” whilst referring to my being bigger than them.

Usually it’s to say I look good for my age, or don’t look it, but that’s just a flattering camera and loads of makeup, haha x

I’m my own worst enemy though, as I do tend to project my own body negativity and insecurities outwards. Trying to sort that.

End of the day, people are trying to be nice, but not always aware that a compliment can be taken negatively if it taps into something someone has been made to feel, by someone being cruel.

I’ve always had I’ve got a pretty face, it’s just my size that’s an issue. Annoying as I have a brain, and when someone who has surgically altered/enhanced themselves to look the way they do, that may be more their projection than mine.

Who knows? We’re a complicated species.

BUT, you are gorgeous, end of!!

Viv xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What would you like to be called? Maybe put that on your profile

But why should it be up to me to teach people how to be tactful? "

Because maybe the people you attract need teaching?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One thing Fab has taught me over the years is that some people have no diplomacy at all.

Then they wonder why they don’t get replies to their tactless messages.

Am I supposed to be grateful for that and leap into bed with them?

My only advice, which I follow myself, is to dwell on the nice comments and ignore the ones from those that don’t stand a cat in hells chance of ever being lucky enough to meet.

Viv"

Yep but then ignoring messages breeds resentment and then you get threads and statuses popping up about how women on here are so stuck up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The best I had recently was someone who had met me several times claiming that it was a preference for "healthy" women was the reason for his ghosting me. So he would have preferred me if I was a smoker and heavy drinker as long as I was skinny?

Things that make you go hmm."

Wow

if he wanted someone who lives a different lifestyle from you then why sleep with you in the first place?! Just be glad you're not that desperate

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By *ear in the chairMan
over a year ago

Godstone

And there was me going to say

'Hay Miss Godiva,

Do you fancy a day in the saddle getting some wonderful pics as you astride a hoss would look divine'

And then realised... I'm too old a fucker

Still, you do you and carry on being just lovely (with occasional patches of grumpy at heathen unappreciators) xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What would you like to be called? Maybe put that on your profile

But why should it be up to me to teach people how to be tactful?

Because maybe the people you attract need teaching?"

And how would you imagine I could go about attracting those that don't need teaching?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What would you like to be called? Maybe put that on your profile

But why should it be up to me to teach people how to be tactful?

Because maybe the people you attract need teaching?

And how would you imagine I could go about attracting those that don't need teaching? "

Mmmmmmm thats the question lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep but then ignoring messages breeds resentment and then you get threads and statuses popping up about how women on here are so stuck up

Again, time on Fab has taught me that I don’t have to answer every message. It’s impossible.

I always make time for thoughtful, well written ones even if it’s just to say we’re not compatible but otherwise it’s a delete.

But that’s a whole different thread, literally x

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"What would you like to be called? Maybe put that on your profile

But why should it be up to me to teach people how to be tactful?

Because maybe the people you attract need teaching?

And how would you imagine I could go about attracting those that don't need teaching?

Mmmmmmm thats the question lol "

Look for them yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What would you like to be called? Maybe put that on your profile

But why should it be up to me to teach people how to be tactful?

Because maybe the people you attract need teaching?"

No no no it's not up to any woman to teach a man how to behave. She's not doing anything to attract them. They're the problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My messages are getting nastier and nastier to be fair to the point that I am not renewing my support and probably will close my account soon. So many messages for instance message saying I wanna fuck you then I don’t reply or don’t reply quick enough and being called ugly multiple times a day isn’t great for anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww hugs amber your a awesome wonderful beautiful woman xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/22 18:34:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My messages are getting nastier and nastier to be fair to the point that I am not renewing my support and probably will close my account soon. So many messages for instance message saying I wanna fuck you then I don’t reply or don’t reply quick enough and being called ugly multiple times a day isn’t great for anyone."

So sorry to hear this, you’re absolutely stunning, and the insults these men along say nothing about you, and everything about them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear this op, there’s no excusing it, you look beautiful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s awful! You’re stunning! I’ve had them contact me on other social platforms, not just here, the latest was to tell me I was a fat, ugly c*nt, and it wasn’t surprising I hid my profile, and he’d rather fuck anyone else but me. I was all set to leave, but it’s their issue, not mine.

You don’t owe anyone anything! It’s your body, you decide who you want to talk to. Some people are so entitled, it’s crass x

Viv xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be cold in hear

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By *ndyn50000Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"What would you like to be called? Maybe put that on your profile

But why should it be up to me to teach people how to be tactful?

Because maybe the people you attract need teaching?

No no no it's not up to any woman to teach a man how to behave. She's not doing anything to attract them. They're the problem."

Absolutely. Good manners, respect and courtesy should not need to be taught (and your bum is perfect Amber)

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple
over a year ago

Kent

I’d say I’m fairly average size wise but most of my messages from men mention how they like my curves or I’m very curvy. Even on our first trip to a club a guy commented on my curves. I literally just said to my husband, are they saying it in a good way or are they saying I have a big arse? Because I genuinely don’t know! I lost a lot of weight last year so maybe I’m being sensitive!

C x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What would you like to be called? Maybe put that on your profile

But why should it be up to me to teach people how to be tactful?

Because maybe the people you attract need teaching?

No no no it's not up to any woman to teach a man how to behave. She's not doing anything to attract them. They're the problem.

Absolutely. Good manners, respect and courtesy should not need to be taught (and your bum is perfect Amber)"

Haha thanks, must admit the millions of squats I've been doing seem to be starting to pay off

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You are definitely not ugly wtf

Really sad to hear it's affecting you so much; this is the flip side that people don't think about... Definitely not only single men's self esteem that gets destroyed on here

not that that's okay either though!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So sorry to hear this op, there’s no excusing it, you look beautiful. "

Thank you xx

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