FabSwingers.com forum: What is the worst thing you can here before going under for an operation

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Hope this works

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck busman, that’s a bit dark!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

His Parkinson's seems to be getting worse.

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Fuck busman, that’s a bit dark!

"
sorry Dieu xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, so maybe the surgeon saying: ‘it’s the first time I’ve done this’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I can't believe they let me in here holding a knife

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

The anaesthetist is off with Covid.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

The theme tune to jim'll fix it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Consultant to the Junior. You can do this one I’ll supervise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"oh shit, wrong gas"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you put enough sedation through? *bed starts moving through the double doors into theatre*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surgeon: I was on a total bender last night. Look, I’ve still got the shakes!

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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

It's the right knee yes?

It was my left knee and it was obvious as it was shredded... But fuck me did I panic as I went under....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anaesthetists saying start counting down from ten as i can never recal the last number before i go under and waken up

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Surgeon: I was on a total bender last night. Look, I’ve still got the shakes!

"
into the swing now Dieu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha ha! This thread is making me laugh and giving me the willies all at once!

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

Was it L or R side we're doing?

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By *onnynclaireCouple
over a year ago

Reading

Surgeon: “what the hell is that?!?”

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’ve only gotten my old prescription glasses with me. Still nobody will notice will they Dr Phil.

It’s Nurse Adams, and yes, they might.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Come into the light Carol Ann……

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This guy was in for butt implants, right?"

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By *ream of Sum Yung Gai2Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Who's up for some selfies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mean I get to do this on work experience? Wait till I tell the guys in school who only got to work in tesco for the week!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts."

Omg thanks! I haven’t been put under in ages, and I’m a few weeks from an OP and I’ve had dreams of surgeons trying to put me under, but I can’t properly fall asleep so they keep trying and delaying the operation. Literal nightmare

Anyway, I should probably stay away from this thread

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Nurse: Are you the new heart surgeon?

Doctor: No. But I did sleep at a Holiday Inn.

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By *alguyMan
over a year ago

Gibraltar & Manchester

When the surgeon says: "Well, we're going to be performing a VERY tricky procedure today. In fact only 8 surgeons in the world actually know how to correctly do this... I just wish I was one of them."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don’t care what I hear before just don’t let me hear or feel anything during the procedure that would be my worse fear!

haha!

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

What’s the safe word ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts.

Anyway, I should probably stay away from this thread

Let the anesthetic team know your concerns if you have any and they'll be able to change drugs to suit. Especially antisickness given when waking up, I asked for that as had a 2 hour drive home

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By *onnynclaireCouple
over a year ago

Reading

“So, castration? Ok then…”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts."

You are a weirdo. lol. I hate it. Freaks me out every time. I’ve had 7 now I think last count. Hopefully no more! I can feel the cold going up my arm just thinking about it. Nope nope nope.

Love waking up though it’s always a euphoric yay I’m alive and also like ouch! Haha when I had my endometriosis op I was screaming the recovery room down they gave me fentanyl in the end. Happy dreams.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not a doctor I’m an actor I thought this was an episode of casualty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts.

You are a weirdo. lol. I hate it. Freaks me out every time. I’ve had 7 now I think last count. Hopefully no more! I can feel the cold going up my arm just thinking about it. Nope nope nope.

Nightmare!

I think I’d love the waking up feeling.

The only Anaesthetic I liked was the anaesthetic gas during dental procedures back when I was a kid, I remember it just felt so good but probably

Cos I was high as a kite

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts."

I am so with you. Completely love a GA. Going under, coming out.... that totally rested feeling

Posh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll get it right in the end !

Oh shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had an op in 1993 to plate my Acetabulum back together after a horse fell on me and broke it.

I was a bit worried with the anaesthetic and the nurse (not the surgeon) said well if you die under anaesthesia you won’t know anything about it,

fortunately I didn’t, but I did have issues when trying to mobilise a couple days later, literally fell off the crutches, sent a huge glass bottle of Ribena crashing to the ground, and then after that about a week after the nurse was trying to pull the drain out and every time she did, I was screaming, she told me not to be such a baby, and that the drain wasn’t stitched in…… went to have a look at my notes only to find that actually yes the drain was stitched in……

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By *ister_ee_1981Man
over a year ago

Sunniest Exeter...

"Hi everybody! My name is Dr Nick Riviera,and I will perform any operation for the tiny sum of $129.95!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I woke up and the nurse held my hand for what felt like hours whilst I was drifting in and out. I remember him prising my fingers off him eventually though. That was a sad moment because he was so warm. I probably declared my love for him as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/22 20:42:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ballad of John bobbet

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

The Benny Hill theme

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

'I can't believe we're getting away with this'

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

‘Oooh we went to school together…I’ve always fantasised about what you’d look like naked’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think about which way they are going to put the stent. One goes up your arm and one way doesn't.

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

"‘Oooh we went to school together…I’ve always fantasised about what you’d look like naked’

I kinda like that one lol

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I don't know but my surgeon doing my hysterectomy was yawning as I was being put to sleep.

I'm still here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ssssssshhhhhhhhhh!

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"You may wake up and be missing a testicle"

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Testicles or tonsils cannot remember...

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

'oh good, Boris has arrived for this work event'..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it terrifying, cried before hand and they sent for a Nurse to comfort me...I just remember the surgeon being lovely and the anaesthist asking me where my favourite place was.

Last thing I saw was her stood at the bottom of my bed watching me, she was eating crisps and I heard the anaesthetist bollock for for bringing foodstuffs into the area

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"‘Oooh we went to school together…I’ve always fantasised about what you’d look like naked’

The one doing the urinary catheter too

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

""oh shit, wrong gas" "

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

"Come into the light Carol Ann……

Omg that just cracked me up

Miss pc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many bits do you think we will have left over this time?

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"How many bits do you think we will have left over this time?"

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Lets the case notes again ah Mr/Mrs (wrong name), that should be an easy one to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a trainee surgeon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See you on the other side

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually had a situation in Spain where I had a broken wrist and I needed an operation on my other hand and had a surgeon that barely spoke English telling me they were going to break the bones in my arm and reset them. I just started screaming "no" and got up and started to walk out. Then the nurses spoke to him and he said "sorry, I was thinking of the next patient"

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

In 1988, I needed Urgent Eye Surgery at Moorfields Eye Hospital in London.

I was wheeled into the side room to the Operating Theatre to be given my Anaesthetic, but first, one Doctor wrote something above both eyes with a wax crayon and I asked what he'd done?

He said, "I've marked each one respectively as L and R, because the Consultant can't tell his Left Hand from his Right!"

I heard a few days later, it was typical Medical Humour!

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"I actually had a situation in Spain where I had a broken wrist and I needed an operation on my other hand and had a surgeon that barely spoke English telling me they were going to break the bones in my arm and reset them. I just started screaming "no" and got up and started to walk out. Then the nurses spoke to him and he said "sorry, I was thinking of the next patient"

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

What? So that is both legs have to come off ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doctor! Doctor! I already can't feel my legs!"

"Ah, that's cos we've already amputated your arms"

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By *he_massangerMan
over a year ago

Stornoway

What? The surgical instruments haven't been sterilised? Ah well.

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By *he_massangerMan
over a year ago

Stornoway

""Doctor! Doctor! I already can't feel my legs!"

"Ah, that's cos we've already amputated your arms" "

Too funny!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

We should make quite a lot for these organs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damn! Forgot to change the gas cylinders, never mind, we’ll just have to hope for the best and make it quick xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can anyone sew?

Bugger! Brought the wrong glasses! Never mind, shouldn’t be too difficult xx

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Can anyone sew?

Bugger! Brought the wrong glasses! Never mind, shouldn’t be too difficult xx"

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

This morphine is great I'm high as a kite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Doctor! Doctor! I already can't feel my legs!"

"Ah, that's cos we've already amputated your arms"

Too funny!"

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By *abluesbabyMan
over a year ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

ME: Will it hurt?

SURGEON: Nah... I won't feel a thing.

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

Organ donor? No next of kin? Man what a waste of time getting scrubbed up...

Hmm...Have you seen that film Human centipede?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi team, is this our patient for the afternoon, my name is Dr Hannibal Lecter

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By *ream of Sum Yung Gai2Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Ok nurse, is this my 2 o clock vasectomy.

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By *erry bull1Man
over a year ago

doncaster

Great night last night , 9 pints then finished off with shits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The priest wants a word with you.

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By *acMac69Man
over a year ago

Cleator

When I was in for an operation.

I asked the anaesthetist if he had ever had someone die on him. He answered no. I started to get up off the table and say I wasn't going to be his first see you later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shouldn’t have a hangover whilst operating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck busman, that’s a bit dark!

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

Which testicle are we removing again ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a good one for the work experience student

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nurse how does it go again

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By *ausage1970Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Is this like the game "operation" ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I was good at the boardgame operation so here goes nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can only offer 'this' much sedation. Would you like to bite on this stick?

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Wheel him through to the carvery..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I hear “Hi Everybody” and Dr Nick appears from Simpsons

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Upset the surgeon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dibs on a Kidney

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

The nurse asking the surgeon if he actually works there.

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Everybody!

If anyone gets the reference

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Hi Everybody!

If anyone gets the reference

Simpsons

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Well I managed the wish bone with the patient that nose flashes, let try it for real this time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, so maybe the surgeon saying: ‘it’s the first time I’ve done this’."

thats a good one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi Everybody!

If anyone gets the reference

Simpsons

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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Where did I put my glasses?

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

Well there's a first time for everything I suppose...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always get left and right mixed up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trousers unzipping

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