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Reasons why you might be a bad swinger..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'd rather eat cake...

What's your reason?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I'm bad I'm really bad.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I'm out of age ranges, I'm too short and fugly.

But I do make cakes

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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I'm always knackered from my runs...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm out of age ranges, I'm too short and fugly.

But I do make cakes "

Yay!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm always knackered from my runs..."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I'm bad I'm really bad. "

Some might say that's a good thing!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

At the highest point I always shout wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee as I come back down again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm an introverted misanthrope

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By *icktickboomMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I love eating pussy can for hours would rather lick and suck on a pussy then fuck

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

I agree with preferring to eat cake. That is definitely but fundamentally I’m a terrible swinger because I don’t have sex with other people

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

Because I say no thanks 99.999999% of the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It requires effort, not a fan of effort.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I’m absolutely bobbins at the moment. Even at a social I can’t find anyone I like enough to take back to my hotel bed.

I’m either too fussy or too lazy.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

I don’t like meeting people especially new people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the effort thing.

And people, people would be there.

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Thal

I got a small cock and I’m a baldy....how’s that for luck.

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

Our profile is written to exclude 99.99999999% of Fab.

Lady Astor

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Thal


"Our profile is written to exclude 99.99999999% of Fab.

Lady Astor "

My goodness....with a body like yours, 99.9% of folk are not entitled to apply.

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

My cock isn't over 8 inches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being out of the age range plus living in France doesn't help

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Im straight

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Because I need to actually be friends with someone before I want to have sex with them.

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By *edhotlovers2027Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

Rick's getting close to the 50 mark,dosnt have a massive cock,Cazz thinks she's fat,and we don't always have much free time

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By *nly4funMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Because I say no thanks 99.999999% of the time "

Given 99.999999% of the fellas on here, that’s no surprise!

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I’ll keep taking regular tea (and cake) breaks

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

It's rare I see anyone i want to meet, hence why we have separate profiles and Jack meets alone with my full support.

Miss

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By *nly4funMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Because I need to actually be friends with someone before I want to have sex with them.

"

Shit that isn’t it!! I’m not a recreational shagger either and that makes it hard to fully enjoy a ‘swinging situation’ unless I’m with someone I am already intimate with.

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 16/01/22 08:19:25]

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I have very little free time.

I’m not a fan of how I currently look, so I hold back.

I don’t really like the huge dependency on ‘being social/making friends’. I’m not unsociable at all; I’m very easy to talk to/with, but I don’t always feel that way and like my space a lot of the time. I’m happy to make ‘Fab/club friends’, but that’s not going to extend beyond the scene.

I can travel, but not massive distances.

I can’t do overnights due to family needs.

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By *he_Wite_NiteMan
over a year ago

Usually Dundee and around


"Our profile is written to exclude 99.99999999% of Fab.

Lady Astor "

I think I fit your profile so am I 0.000,000,01% of fab?

Or a 1 in 10 Million?!

Buy not sure our free weekend will coincide this year, or next!

Have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not 6ft

Poorly written profile (will improve it)

Dick too big

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dick too big is a fun problem

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By *eviant KnightMan
over a year ago

Norton


"It requires effort, not a fan of effort. "

Haha this is me 100%

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Seems I'm too old and I'm not sure I actually like people

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm incredibly slow to organise things, by which time others have expired, forgotten who they are or are on life support, none of which makes them suitable.

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

Pretty much all of the above. Except for the cake thing.

And I live at the end of the world of course.

Posh

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By *ndyn50000Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm to old to be allowed on the swings at the local park

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't accommodate or travel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm out of age ranges, I'm too short and fugly.

But I do make cakes "

You just make crap excuses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd rather eat cake...

What's your reason? "

We like cake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because we live in Norfolk

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Because I need to actually be friends with someone before I want to have sex with them.

Shit that isn’t it!! I’m not a recreational shagger either and that makes it hard to fully enjoy a ‘swinging situation’ unless I’m with someone I am already intimate with.

"

Ah I don't mind it too much! I'm not really one for meeting many people, don't really do clubs, don't have the energy or desire to be building a stable or anything like that. Unless it's a community of friends. There are a few of us around on Fab so I don't feel too weird.

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By *edhotlovers2027Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I'd rather eat cake...

What's your reason?

We like cake "

Who doesn't like cake lol

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"I'd rather eat cake...

What's your reason? "

We only do socials where there's cake. No cake, no go.

Lady Astor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too anxious, too fussy, very easily put off people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We live so far away from everybody.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I love these!

So many of them I can relate to as well.

Great to know I'm not the only one! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm straight, can't accommodate and I find wham bam casual sex soul-destroying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I need a connection before having sex

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By *ndyn50000Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I'd rather eat cake...

What's your reason? "

I'm starting to think Mr Kipling would make an exceedingly good swinger

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By *oson-BlueCouple
over a year ago

North Kent


"I'd rather eat cake...

What's your reason? "

You monster!

Where's the tea or coffee to go with that cake?

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I'm beginning to try less and less to attract / maintain any form of contact with people.

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

Because I don’t meet for sex and prefer the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont like celery

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Not being in the U.K. certainly fucks things up a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes prefer to chat to people in a club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like leaving the house

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By *ausageNmashCouple
over a year ago

Andover

Fall off the swing to easily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is such a boost to read today

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Far too fussy and can't be bothered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send nice met but no reply. So all can do is wank by myself sad lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send nice polite message to ladies and couples but dot get replies so the only way to release the pressure is to wank by myself lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/22 09:46:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we lost all our confidence esp past two years

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

I seem to be constantly on my period even between periods I’m having periods! Kinda spoils my sex life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because we wont play or fuk just anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got great grip and and everything, but when about to grasp onto the next bar/ring I always seem to miss it. I put it do either my arms being too shirt, or poor hand to eye coordination.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be constantly on my period even between periods I’m having periods! Kinda spoils my sex life. "

I do not miss that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be constantly on my period even between periods I’m having periods! Kinda spoils my sex life. "

I completely hear ya!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I don't take up men's offers of 'the best blowjob ever'.

My old favourite is the 'we'll turn the lights off and you won't know I'm a man'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm only 5'7 so it's hard to get a good push of the ground to start the swing

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

My mojo is taking a holiday.

K

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kinks are to specific

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By *luttonousGirlTV/TS
over a year ago

Consett

Trans, lesbian and unable to travel

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t do sharing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm only 5'7 so it's hard to get a good push of the ground to start the swing"

You’re cute though!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I just don’t like shagging

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

Because I found my Goldilocks cock and, right now, I'm not interested in playing with any others because I'm having far too much fun with this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm only 5'7 so it's hard to get a good push of the ground to start the swing

You’re cute though! "

Thanks Dieu you just made my day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did someone say cake im in whatever this thread is about if cake involved

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Because I'm old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never send messages out.

I'm a lazy searcher.

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By *moothGrooveWoman
over a year ago

Durham

Because I'm lazy and I'm just waiting on Aquaman falling into my inbox... And if I can't shoehorn running into the conversation I get bored

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d rather hang out with my friends than meet a stranger.

I don’t get much free time, so when I do, they are priority

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

…because I’m an old fossil.

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By *enm83Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Hesitation and overthinking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did someone say cake im in whatever this thread is about if cake involved"

There's always cake!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many reasons to mention, ha ha ha!

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Too many reasons to mention, ha ha ha!"

Distance being one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1) I don’t like people that trip over kerbs.

2) I don’t like people that drink hot chocolate.

3) I don’t like people that push on pull open doors.

4) I don’t like people pat their pockets when they forget things.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Yano when you're hungry but when you go to get something to eat you just don't fancy any of it even when you go to the supermarket. Like there's loads of food, great food even but it's just not doing it for you. Like that but with sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yano when you're hungry but when you go to get something to eat you just don't fancy any of it even when you go to the supermarket. Like there's loads of food, great food even but it's just not doing it for you. Like that but with sex. "

This is how I feel about Netflix.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"1) I don’t like people that trip over kerbs.

2) I don’t like people that drink hot chocolate.

3) I don’t like people that push on pull open doors.

4) I don’t like people pat their pockets when they forget things."

It appears I am everything you hate in a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Too many reasons to mention, ha ha ha!

Distance being one. "

True! x

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I'm the wrong gender for everyone

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I'm a bit concerned about body fluids on plastic sheets, and being penetrated by someone who hasn't changed his condom after the last woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm only 5'7 so it's hard to get a good push of the ground to start the swing

You’re cute though!

Thanks Dieu you just made my day. "

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm lost in the sea of dick on here

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

My filters have been set to go away since April 2020

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I'm a bit concerned about body fluids on plastic sheets, and being penetrated by someone who hasn't changed his condom after the last woman."

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'm straight, picky and I don't like sharing my food

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I don't like jaffa cakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"1) I don’t like people that trip over kerbs.

2) I don’t like people that drink hot chocolate.

3) I don’t like people that push on pull open doors.

4) I don’t like people pat their pockets when they forget things.

It appears I am everything you hate in a person."

This was from another post of why guys give a girl the ick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find men are hard work so give up and move on

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By *ringo2.0Man
over a year ago

leeds

Because Talking to women online is a bit hard for me. Completely different in person.

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

I'm too old for many apparently. I'm also too busy baking cakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/22 12:55:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not as comfortable with my figure since weight gain, but I don’t eat cake, so have no cake to entice people x

I don’t meet men x

I’m a rubbish switch as I’m only sub to Inked. Only ever been Domme or equal to anyone else. I refuse to be disloyal to him, so I’m also a rubbish sub x

I’m too old, too big, too tattooed and pierced, and I don’t have big boobs. May as well quit now, lol x

Viv xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I love my cat & also I think I am getting too fussy

But I have to find someone attractive to me...May as well give up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because I need a connection before having sex "

^This too^

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham


"I'd rather eat cake...

What's your reason? "

Because I only meet when I am Linda,

I only get a chance to be Linda two or three days a month

When I am Linda it is because I have a trip away to manchester or Leeds, or some such place, planned and will not go out of my way or spend hours being diverted to meet a guy who wants to have sex with me for half an hour!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer monogamy when in a sexual relationship.

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Our kids are first priority

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham


"I’m not as comfortable with my figure since weight gain, but I don’t eat cake, so have no cake to entice people x

I don’t meet men x

I’m a rubbish switch as I’m only sub to Inked. Only ever been Domme or equal to anyone else. I refuse to be disloyal to him, so I’m also a rubbish sub x

I’m too old, too big, too tattooed and pierced, and I don’t have big boobs. May as well quit now, lol x

Viv xx

"

Oooh crumbs !

Are you mad?

You are totally stunning!

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

We once set fire to the bed.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't kiss, I don't like receiving oral, we're soft swing.

:Shrugs:

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd go with age range too, daily views dropped by 80% the moment 50 years old appeared on my profile

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"1) I don’t like people that trip over kerbs.

2) I don’t like people that drink hot chocolate.

3) I don’t like people that push on pull open doors.

4) I don’t like people pat their pockets when they forget things.

It appears I am everything you hate in a person."

It seems I'm everything he loves in a person! I'm just hoping bunnyhopping my wheelchair up kerbs doesn't fall foul of item 1

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"1) I don’t like people that trip over kerbs.

2) I don’t like people that drink hot chocolate.

3) I don’t like people that push on pull open doors.

4) I don’t like people pat their pockets when they forget things.

It appears I am everything you hate in a person.

This was from another post of why guys give a girl the ick. "

I am the ickiest of them all!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"1) I don’t like people that trip over kerbs.

2) I don’t like people that drink hot chocolate.

3) I don’t like people that push on pull open doors.

4) I don’t like people pat their pockets when they forget things.

It appears I am everything you hate in a person.

It seems I'm everything he loves in a person! I'm just hoping bunnyhopping my wheelchair up kerbs doesn't fall foul of item 1 "

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Pretty much everything Saisei said somewhere up above applies to us. Mainly time (lack thereof).

Childcare (see above)

Adult son just moved home - issues

Etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because I need to actually be friends with someone before I want to have sex with them.

"

^ What Meli said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

"

I like to show a wider range of skills not just sex, also hide and seek is always a winner.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eep2020Man
over a year ago

sheffield

Chemistry, connection,

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *organ DeanWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't like people

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the dating scene is a foreign language haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I don't like people "
haha this too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

I like to show a wider range of skills not just sex, also hide and seek is always a winner. "

Until they're so good at hiding you never find them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/22 13:48:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

I like to show a wider range of skills not just sex, also hide and seek is always a winner.

Until they're so good at hiding you never find them. "

If I can’t find them within 3minutes then it’s back to the condom balloon animals…although you be surprised how many people are really determined to squeeze themselves into a cupboard under the sink.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man
over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

Because I'm not proactive enough. Normally I just sit around looking pretty and wait for women to come to me. It's not a great game plan, if I'm honest.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Because this is a fake profile

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm not over 6ft and rugby/gym fit...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a bad swinger because im a single person and we all know swinging isnt for single people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cos I prefer to voyeur

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

Because I don't have tattoos or look like a Viking .....I do have a beard though

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

I like to show a wider range of skills not just sex, also hide and seek is always a winner.

Until they're so good at hiding you never find them.

If I can’t find them within 3minutes then it’s back to the condom balloon animals…although you be surprised how many people are really determined to squeeze themselves into a cupboard under the sink. "

Now I'm just imagining you on the bed entertaining yourself with your balloon animals while a person crammed into the cupboard under your sink wonders how much longer it's going to take you to find them .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d rather stay in bed and watch Netflix than go to a club

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Geography bites…..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

I like to show a wider range of skills not just sex, also hide and seek is always a winner.

Until they're so good at hiding you never find them.

If I can’t find them within 3minutes then it’s back to the condom balloon animals…although you be surprised how many people are really determined to squeeze themselves into a cupboard under the sink.

Now I'm just imagining you on the bed entertaining yourself with your balloon animals while a person crammed into the cupboard under your sink wonders how much longer it's going to take you to find them . "

Hahaha I can picture it. Maybe every now and again you hear a muffled “are you there” coming the bathroom, followed by “just a minute, I need to finish the tail”

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

I like to show a wider range of skills not just sex, also hide and seek is always a winner.

Until they're so good at hiding you never find them.

If I can’t find them within 3minutes then it’s back to the condom balloon animals…although you be surprised how many people are really determined to squeeze themselves into a cupboard under the sink.

Now I'm just imagining you on the bed entertaining yourself with your balloon animals while a person crammed into the cupboard under your sink wonders how much longer it's going to take you to find them .

Hahaha I can picture it. Maybe every now and again you hear a muffled “are you there” coming the bathroom, followed by “just a minute, I need to finish the tail” "

I hope you're using flavoured ones so they're pretty colours too!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Got fed up with it all ages ago so need a kick up the arse

Making the effort can be really hard work after working all day especially if it’s a no show

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

Being my age . Plus do not message very often or wink . Means I have to see if anyone contacts me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!


"Got fed up with it all ages ago so need a kick up the arse

Making the effort can be really hard work after working all day especially if it’s a no show

"

Oh I know that feeling.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always tired after work, getting older every day

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My age

I’m fat

I’m sandwich short picnic !

Think that’s enough really !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

I like to show a wider range of skills not just sex, also hide and seek is always a winner.

Until they're so good at hiding you never find them.

If I can’t find them within 3minutes then it’s back to the condom balloon animals…although you be surprised how many people are really determined to squeeze themselves into a cupboard under the sink.

Now I'm just imagining you on the bed entertaining yourself with your balloon animals while a person crammed into the cupboard under your sink wonders how much longer it's going to take you to find them .

Hahaha I can picture it. Maybe every now and again you hear a muffled “are you there” coming the bathroom, followed by “just a minute, I need to finish the tail”

I hope you're using flavoured ones so they're pretty colours too! "

Of course! I’m also a big fan of the glow in the dark ones to! Easiest thing to make…the Condom Light Saber!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *izzibeth9Couple
over a year ago

Loughborough

We go to swingers clubs but get merry and enjoy chatting to people and having a good time...this means most of the time we don't actually end up swinging

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really fussy...has to be mutual attraction.

Don't do lots of messaging or phone calls ..makes me cringe.

We feel happier in a club environment rather than private meets.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

I like to show a wider range of skills not just sex, also hide and seek is always a winner.

Until they're so good at hiding you never find them.

If I can’t find them within 3minutes then it’s back to the condom balloon animals…although you be surprised how many people are really determined to squeeze themselves into a cupboard under the sink.

Now I'm just imagining you on the bed entertaining yourself with your balloon animals while a person crammed into the cupboard under your sink wonders how much longer it's going to take you to find them .

Hahaha I can picture it. Maybe every now and again you hear a muffled “are you there” coming the bathroom, followed by “just a minute, I need to finish the tail”

I hope you're using flavoured ones so they're pretty colours too!

Of course! I’m also a big fan of the glow in the dark ones to! Easiest thing to make…the Condom Light Saber! "

Absolutely spot on!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d rather stay in bed and watch Netflix than go to a club "

See I would actually love going to a club as long as I could just chat to people and not get chatted up. Or have to be "dressed down"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I’d rather stay in bed and watch Netflix than go to a club

See I would actually love going to a club as long as I could just chat to people and not get chatted up. Or have to be "dressed down" "

This was how I felt. And everyone kept saying to me it’s just like a pub you don’t have to do anything or dress down. I imagined it to be so sleazy and it actually wasn’t. We just treated it as a girls night out. Not sure if I’ll go again but I was intrigued x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wipe my cock on the host’s curtains

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because my meets normally end up with me making a wide range of balloon animal out of condoms

I like to show a wider range of skills not just sex, also hide and seek is always a winner.

Until they're so good at hiding you never find them.

If I can’t find them within 3minutes then it’s back to the condom balloon animals…although you be surprised how many people are really determined to squeeze themselves into a cupboard under the sink.

Now I'm just imagining you on the bed entertaining yourself with your balloon animals while a person crammed into the cupboard under your sink wonders how much longer it's going to take you to find them .

Hahaha I can picture it. Maybe every now and again you hear a muffled “are you there” coming the bathroom, followed by “just a minute, I need to finish the tail”

I hope you're using flavoured ones so they're pretty colours too!

Of course! I’m also a big fan of the glow in the dark ones to! Easiest thing to make…the Condom Light Saber!

Absolutely spot on! "

Nothing adds to meet more than when they finally come out of the bathroom cabinet and see you swinging your light saber around like Luke Skywalker

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry

Because I've not had sex for 2 years x storm x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wipe my cock on the host’s curtains "

This made me laugh

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d rather stay in bed and watch Netflix than go to a club

See I would actually love going to a club as long as I could just chat to people and not get chatted up. Or have to be "dressed down"

This was how I felt. And everyone kept saying to me it’s just like a pub you don’t have to do anything or dress down. I imagined it to be so sleazy and it actually wasn’t. We just treated it as a girls night out. Not sure if I’ll go again but I was intrigued x"

I'd be up for a girls night type of club

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I don’t do cams or phone sex. I’ll block if I get an offensive message.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We don’t want to fuck everyone we see naked… …guys in clubs seem to think C should

Even had a guy from a couple look at us incredulously when he just tried to jump on the bed next to us saying ‘let me in there so we can have some fun’ like it was his go on C and we told him where to go

So we must be the worst kind of swingers

K

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

I chat more than playing haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just can't be arsed with building relationships, I just wanna jump in bed with random people

Then again, those that do wanna shag randomly always somehow always turn me off

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That I hardly have any free time to jump at the FAF messages

On a serious note, my free time is really limited and then often when I do have some free time I just want to sleep.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm straight, can't accommodate and I find wham bam casual sex soul-destroying. "

Inconceivable

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm straight, can't accommodate and I find wham bam casual sex soul-destroying.

Inconceivable "

I do not think that word means what you think it does

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Will not fuck ugly people.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unandgamegeekMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I haven't got as much confidence as I used to.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I don't meet anyone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock


"I don't meet anyone "
Why on swingers site then !!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm straight, can't accommodate and I find wham bam casual sex soul-destroying.

Inconceivable

I do not think that word means what you think it does "

I think my grasp of the English language encompasses that word.

A straight female singer who finds casual sex soul destroying: inconceivable

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm straight, can't accommodate and I find wham bam casual sex soul-destroying.

Inconceivable

I do not think that word means what you think it does

I think my grasp of the English language encompasses that word.

A straight female singer who finds casual sex soul destroying: inconceivable "

Why does auto carrot always change swinger to singer

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm straight, can't accommodate and I find wham bam casual sex soul-destroying.

Inconceivable

I do not think that word means what you think it does

I think my grasp of the English language encompasses that word.

A straight female singer who finds casual sex soul destroying: inconceivable "

Sorry was quoting from the Princess Bride (where my username is from). I'm not a swinger, clearly failing at it. A guy told me I should be on mumsnet not here once.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm straight, can't accommodate and I find wham bam casual sex soul-destroying.

Inconceivable

I do not think that word means what you think it does

I think my grasp of the English language encompasses that word.

A straight female singer who finds casual sex soul destroying: inconceivable

Sorry was quoting from the Princess Bride (where my username is from). I'm not a swinger, clearly failing at it. A guy told me I should be on mumsnet not here once. "

Oh gawd, stay away from that transphobic lot

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never shagged a pineapple.

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