FabSwingers.com forum: Should be, but aren’t….

By *aisei OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Have you ever expected to feel a particular way about something, and perhaps did initially, but then that rapidly disappears?

I should be pretty chuffed about something at the moment and was for a few hours afterwards.

Now…..meh.

I should still be bouncing off the walls, but I’m not.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Have you ever expected to feel a particular way about something, and perhaps did initially, but then that rapidly disappears?

I should be pretty chuffed about something at the moment and was for a few hours afterwards.

Now…..meh.

I should still be bouncing off the walls, but I’m not."

Maybe if you tell us what you are chuffed about (if you can within forum rules) we can celebrate with you and you might feel happy again?

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By *aisei OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Work stuff; wouldn’t mean much to anyone else.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Work stuff; wouldn’t mean much to anyone else."

Well I’m listening, tell me

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Sometimes. But I think I’m a bit dead inside anyway, due to mental health issues in the past etc.

But you were excited for awhile op, so that’s good. Maybe reality has just set in? The fizz may have gone but the sparkle is still there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you ever expected to feel a particular way about something, and perhaps did initially, but then that rapidly disappears?

I should be pretty chuffed about something at the moment and was for a few hours afterwards.

Now…..meh.

I should still be bouncing off the walls, but I’m not."

Yes, i am told daily I should be excited about something and ..I'm not. I guess "should be" doesn't work very well.

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By *aisei OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Work stuff; wouldn’t mean much to anyone else.

Well I’m listening, tell me

Just secured a new piece of work. It’s probably all the initial admin that’s taken the shine off it to be fair, the lack of feeling might not last.

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By *aisei OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Sometimes. But I think I’m a bit dead inside anyway, due to mental health issues in the past etc.

But you were excited for awhile op, so that’s good. Maybe reality has just set in? The fizz may have gone but the sparkle is still there?"

Sorry to hear that. x I can appreciate where you’re coming from, though.

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By *aisei OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Have you ever expected to feel a particular way about something, and perhaps did initially, but then that rapidly disappears?

I should be pretty chuffed about something at the moment and was for a few hours afterwards.

Now…..meh.

I should still be bouncing off the walls, but I’m not.

Yes, i am told daily I should be excited about something and ..I'm not. I guess "should be" doesn't work very well. "

Yeah, being told to be excited about something is a guarantee you won’t be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you ever expected to feel a particular way about something, and perhaps did initially, but then that rapidly disappears?

I should be pretty chuffed about something at the moment and was for a few hours afterwards.

Now…..meh.

I should still be bouncing off the walls, but I’m not.

Yes, i am told daily I should be excited about something and ..I'm not. I guess "should be" doesn't work very well.

Yeah, being told to be excited about something is a guarantee you won’t be!

Exactly! I think you have to find the excitement and pleasure on your own. In your own time. I bought a house but you've achieved something at work - why aren't you giving yourself some credit for that?

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Every time I win a competition I think I’d be really happy but I just don’t care

I think I enjoy the training for it, and the actual competition, more than winning it

So I always feel like winning will be this huge moment. When in reality I don’t give a fuck

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Work stuff; wouldn’t mean much to anyone else.

Well I’m listening, tell me

Just secured a new piece of work. It’s probably all the initial admin that’s taken the shine off it to be fair, the lack of feeling might not last."

Well that sounds great news! Well done!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every time I win a competition I think I’d be really happy but I just don’t care

I think I enjoy the training for it, and the actual competition, more than winning it

So I always feel like winning will be this huge moment. When in reality I don’t give a fuck "

Makes sense that you enjoy other things than the winning

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Every time I win a competition I think I’d be really happy but I just don’t care

I think I enjoy the training for it, and the actual competition, more than winning it

So I always feel like winning will be this huge moment. When in reality I don’t give a fuck "

If you hadn’t pushed your limits daily to get there you wouldn’t have had a chance to win right? So the win can’t happen without the lead up to it, it’s all part of the same thing.

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By *aisei OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I bought a house but you've achieved something at work - why aren't you giving yourself some credit for that? "

I did, but self-congratulation has a very limited lifespan with me; it faded with the initial excitement.

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By *aisei OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Every time I win a competition I think I’d be really happy but I just don’t care

I think I enjoy the training for it, and the actual competition, more than winning it

So I always feel like winning will be this huge moment. When in reality I don’t give a fuck "

That’s not necessarily a bad place to be; if you can enjoy the journey more than the destination, that’s got more potential.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I bought a house but you've achieved something at work - why aren't you giving yourself some credit for that?

I did, but self-congratulation has a very limited lifespan with me; it faded with the initial excitement."

Perhaps you can find some more things about the project to look forward to when the work week starts again

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By *aisei OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

You’re probably right there….. I think I’ll be more comfortable with it all once I’m actually doing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many things in life are just a bit anti-climatic. I remember being at uni and thinking that life would be amazing when the exams would be over. Then the exams were over and you’d be like ‘meh’.

The initial feeling of euphoria soon wears off, but that’s life. It’s not sustainable to feel like that, as other stuff/reality soon gets in the way!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Have a look at a condition called Anhedonia.

I haven't been excited about anything for years.

I don't look forward to things such as holidays or new job etc. I can plan things but am always completely detached and others can't understand why I'm not bouncing with excitement. I'm always in the moment though and enjoy it to some degree when it's happening but there is no feeling of elation afterwards.

I didn't know this was a "thing" until it was used to describe a character in a book I was reading and it was as if the author was describing me and my experience.

I haven't done a lot of research into it to be honest but the little I have done surprised me because it's more common than you would think.

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By *aisei OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

I saw a post of yours on Anhedonia a while back, and it rang very true for me.

It’s not blanket or absolute, I do still look forward to things, but excitement wanes quickly as I just expect things to go sour as often they have/do.

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