FabSwingers.com forum: Girls or boys, who is easier to raise?!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have 3 daughters. Goes without saying I love the bones of them, and they’re great. Polite, well-behaved, kind for the most part. Good people really.

But fuck me, can they be hard work

Some days I feel absolutely emotionally drained. They could moan for Scotland - well, my 15 year old at least - if tired or not on good form generally

My sister has 3 boys and they are pretty straightforward and undemanding. Mind you, when they were little, she had to run them off in the park like a small pack of dogs ... regardless of weather! Whereas the girls were fairly contented to be at home, and didn’t climb the walls.

I realise I’m generalising, so perhaps this thread is a wee bit tongue-in-cheek.

But most people I know have found their sons easier to raise than their daughters.

What’s your experience of this? And if you’re not a parent, what were you like to raise? Better or worse than your siblings?

I’m genuinely really interested in this stuff

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We found that parenting difficulties were equal in severity but different in type and the age they occured.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

10+ year gap between my boy and girl. Boy was a doddle, no issues, now moved out and living independently. Always wanted a girl though. Omg ….

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"10+ year gap between my boy and girl. Boy was a doddle, no issues, now moved out and living independently. Always wanted a girl though. Omg …."

Yup

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We found that parenting difficulties were equal in severity but different in type and the age they occured.

You are always so lovely and diplomatic! And yes, I think you’ve given a fair summary of parenting right there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My mum tells me I used to find my 20 year old difficult as a teen. Well I must have blanked that out, as she is the easiest one of all now and an absolute joy

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Our girls were much easier than our son. I can't recall any time the girls were awkward or overly stroppy, but the lad made up for that from the day he was born. He will tell you himself that he was a little s#!t!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We found that parenting difficulties were equal in severity but different in type and the age they occured.

You are always so lovely and diplomatic! And yes, I think you’ve given a fair summary of parenting right there."

if I told you some of the stunts our daughter pulled and my reaction to them you might revise your opinion of me

Our son was equally "interesting" and caused us as much grief but in less frightening ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 2 teenage girls, who are 10 months apart in age. My sister in law has 1 boy and 2 girls. My girls were easier than my nephew when they were little as they were more chilled but now they are teenagers and hormones have kicked in they are way more challenging than he is xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Our girls were much easier than our son. I can't recall any time the girls were awkward or overly stroppy, but the lad made up for that from the day he was born. He will tell you himself that he was a little s#!t! "

Interesting! I think the dynamic is totally different when there’s a boy involved, especially if he’s difficult, as the girls might feel the need to ‘step up’ or not create extra hassle for the parents. Possibly. I’m really just guessing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only have little ones. A 3yo D and 4yo S. They are both so fast and witty. Not sure who they take after

But I'd say our 4yo son is the easiest. He loves anything and everything and so in tune with peoples feelings, always wanting to help.

3yo daughter is fiercely independent and it's her way or no way (again, no idea where she gets it from

)

I have teenage sisters. I'm not looking forward to the kids getting to that age.

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
over a year ago

Essex

In the interest of science we decided to perform an experiment to answer this for you o

….After giving both two level teaspoons of dried yeast and left in an airing cupboard for 24 hours, neither raised any measurable amount.

Will try for longer and with more yeast next week.

You’re welcome

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"I have 3 daughters. Goes without saying I love the bones of them, and they’re great. Polite, well-behaved, kind for the most part. Good people really.

But fuck me, can they be hard work

Some days I feel absolutely emotionally drained. They could moan for Scotland - well, my 15 year old at least - if tired or not on good form generally

I realise I’m generalising, so perhaps this thread is a wee bit tongue-in-cheek.

But most people I know have found their sons easier to raise than their daughters.

What’s your experience of this? And if you’re not a parent, what were you like to raise? Better or worse than your siblings?

I’m genuinely really interested in this stuff

I have 2 adult daughters and at times they were a nightmare. Two girls (friends) together are fine but add a third and all hell breaks loose. I did and still do find it difficult to understand they way they speak to eachother as at times it seems to me that they are being very bitchy and rude, but what do I know.

Boys argue then fight then they are pals again.

But saying that girls are more considerate than boys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In the interest of science we decided to perform an experiment to answer this for you o

….After giving both two level teaspoons of dried yeast and left in an airing cupboard for 24 hours, neither raised any measurable amount.

Will try for longer and with more yeast next week.

You’re welcome

Very good, I salute you!

And let me know if you need any volunteers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boys until they hit teenage years are exhausting. Teenage girls then take over in a totally different way! (I have both)

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

I'm not really sure. But they were both brilliant from the start, both good sleepers and they always behaved. He didn't sleep till he was 4 and a half years old and screamed until he was 3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mother of 3 girls and 2 boys varied ages up 16 and I'd say as, a whole all completely different I personally don't think you can generalise boys and girls

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Boys in general are easier what u see is what u get! Girls harder work lots of drama! That said once they adults girls become more like besties my eldest daughter (47)is like my best friend!I had 3 of each to start but have 2 boys and 4 girls now x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both as bad as each other to be fair, they just do different things to each other to get fights going.

And don't even get me started on Tik Tok prank videos which is what my eldest two do to each other at the present moment in time.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

My daughter was so much easier, she’s 14 now and no bother at all.

My son is super hard work at the moment as he has autistic traits, gets beyond frustrated at things and flips out, then it’s all directed at me.

It’s draining and I wish I had my wing man to help out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My daughter was so much easier, she’s 14 now and no bother at all.

My son is super hard work at the moment as he has autistic traits, gets beyond frustrated at things and flips out, then it’s all directed at me.

It’s draining and I wish I had my wing man to help out

I shouldn’t complain about my neurotypical kids, even if they can be a royal pain. It must be relentlessly hard for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm glad we had two sons.

Especially after listening to our youngest's girlfriend about all the dramas she had growing up with a sister

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Both equally tricky at different stages of life, hormones are a bitch

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

I have 2 of each.

They are all different, and as difficult as each other, but in many different ways.

So, I would say neither is more difficult, it's down the the individual child and what you as a parent find difficult to deal with.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Boys. But I am biased!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 6 sons so can’t really answer this accurately but what I can say is that they appeared easier than my friends daughters!

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

My son - nightmare since birth, still a nightmare aged 33

My daughter - lovely human being aged 25

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By *lan100100Man
over a year ago

Preston

[Removed by poster at 14/01/22 18:18:56]

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"My daughter was so much easier, she’s 14 now and no bother at all.

My son is super hard work at the moment as he has autistic traits, gets beyond frustrated at things and flips out, then it’s all directed at me.

It’s draining and I wish I had my wing man to help out

Having a child with ASN or an illness multiplies the the stress levels of parents especially when you can't do anything to help them. But we wouldn't be without them as they bring joy to your life in different ways.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"My daughter was so much easier, she’s 14 now and no bother at all.

My son is super hard work at the moment as he has autistic traits, gets beyond frustrated at things and flips out, then it’s all directed at me.

It’s draining and I wish I had my wing man to help out

Absolutely this

. Nobody can possibly understand unless they live with it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boys are so much easier !

I always said I'd have had another of I'd been guaranteed another boy

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I didn't find any of my children difficult to raise.

I was either lucky that my children had my genes, or I was a great parent.

I was fortunate to be at home with them until my youngest turned 16.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got 1 boy 3 girls and tbh I don’t think it’s down to gender more personality.

My eldest daughter was the most challenging but that’s down to her fiesty nature, but now she’s 21 she’s amazing. The other 3 are super chilled and have been a dream to raise but they just have more laid back personalities.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"My daughter was so much easier, she’s 14 now and no bother at all.

My son is super hard work at the moment as he has autistic traits, gets beyond frustrated at things and flips out, then it’s all directed at me.

It’s draining and I wish I had my wing man to help out

They do indeed.

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By *istretchMan
over a year ago

leeds

I have 1 of each girl always polite hard working still is ,boy a little shit and now is a bigger shit but at least hes moved out lol.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"My daughter was so much easier, she’s 14 now and no bother at all.

My son is super hard work at the moment as he has autistic traits, gets beyond frustrated at things and flips out, then it’s all directed at me.

It’s draining and I wish I had my wing man to help out

Absolutely this

. Nobody can possibly understand unless they live with it x"

Gawd yes. My daughter is nearly 30 and I have worried about her every day. But she does lead an active life apart from her medical conditions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won a watch with my 2. Up until now I've never really had any issues. When my son was wee he just wanted constant cuddles and was on my hip 24/7....couldn't move for him. My daughter was a wee bit more chilled. That's changed as they've got older though. Just starting to get into the teenage years so I'll check in again in a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard to say as I only have one child and she's a girl...and autistic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hard to say as I only have one child and she's a girl...and autistic."

My eldest is high functioning, but it doesn’t present with too many issues.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Hard to say as I only have one child and she's a girl...and autistic.

My eldest is high functioning, but it doesn’t present with too many issues."

Can I ask you what you think of the term high functioning?

My own opinion is, it creates a barrier between kids and adults with ASN and those who are perceived to be 'normal'.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Our son (now 19) was pretty easy but had his moments aged 14-17. Since he turned 18, he's had a lot of issues and I've found it the hardest time with him.

Daughter will be 5 in a few weeks. Apart from occasional cheekiness and the odd spell of waking us at 3am for no apparent reason, she's been super duper easy. Heaven knows how it'll unfold as she gets older though!

Both my children are very conscientious and loving individuals, which I'm very pleased about.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"My daughter was so much easier, she’s 14 now and no bother at all.

My son is super hard work at the moment as he has autistic traits, gets beyond frustrated at things and flips out, then it’s all directed at me.

It’s draining and I wish I had my wing man to help out

I shouldn’t complain about my neurotypical kids, even if they can be a royal pain. It must be relentlessly hard for you x

Oh moan away chick, before my son showed traits I know I certainly did! As much as we love them it’s hard going

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"My daughter was so much easier, she’s 14 now and no bother at all.

My son is super hard work at the moment as he has autistic traits, gets beyond frustrated at things and flips out, then it’s all directed at me.

It’s draining and I wish I had my wing man to help out

Could never be without them. They’re my reason for living

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had one of each. As babies, daughter was way more demanding, whereas he was totally chilled. From school age onwards, both were fine, no major issues. Now both grounded, successful young people. They had a good mum...

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I have 2 boys (20 & 17) and a daughter (16). My eldest has always been incredibly laid back, we had a period of around 3 years when I used to dread picking up my middle son from school but he is a very well rounded young man (at the moment!). My daughter thought she was a boy for a while, she's so much more emotional than her brothers.

Not sure any of them were hard work really but having 3 under 5 was exhausting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've done a grand job by the sound of it!

"I have 2 boys (20 & 17) and a daughter (16). My eldest has always been incredibly laid back, we had a period of around 3 years when I used to dread picking up my middle son from school but he is a very well rounded young man (at the moment!). My daughter thought she was a boy for a while, she's so much more emotional than her brothers.

Not sure any of them were hard work really but having 3 under 5 was exhausting! "

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Stomping in with my LGBT+ boots (fem). A human is a human, gender has no bearing on difficulties or not of upbringing. I have 2 of each born genders, 12 year gap between eldest and youngest. Each of mine are individuals, I don't compare each of them to one another. They are all humans in their own right.

Here I'll sit on my soap box, not budging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 3 son's and 1 daughter. All adults now though. They all work and hold professional qualifications. Unfortunately all still living at home though lol.

Growing up, my boys were far easier. They didn't drag on the whinging or temper tantrums. They had their moan and then walked off with the strop! Lol. My daughter though... Oh my goodness... Now she could wake up with the strop, whinge all morning, all along to school, come out of school and resume her whinging. It didn't stop until she slept! Even now as an adult, she still whinges and actually admits she likes a good old whinge lol.

She has and still does give me the most stress. Was worse when puberty kicked in then her period. She picks wrong'uns for a boyfriend. I can't tell her though. After all been there and done that so I should know how it goes lol. She won't listen and often tells me I haven't a clue lol. She's the only one who drains my debit card too. Being the only girl, she soon worked out the art of manipulating her brothers and I. Lol.

Now my stress is I'm terrified now one day, she'll come home and tell me she's pregnant

. My boys work then come home to play their games consoles or go to the pub or club now and then. Whereas my daughter waits until I'm sleeping off a night shift to sneak out the house to go up to London etc. Ahhh the worry/ the stress!! She'll be the death of me! Lol.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Stomping in with my LGBT+ boots (fem). A human is a human, gender has no bearing on difficulties or not of upbringing. I have 2 of each born genders, 12 year gap between eldest and youngest. Each of mine are individuals, I don't compare each of them to one another. They are all humans in their own right.

Here I'll sit on my soap box, not budging. "

Clearly does have a bearing to some people.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Here I'll sit on my soap box, not budging. "

Congratulations on the birth of your new baby human said no doctor ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here I'll sit on my soap box, not budging. "

We weren't talking about genders.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here I'll sit on my soap box, not budging. "

When the hormones kick in of course it fucking matters.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Here I'll sit on my soap box, not budging.

When the hormones kick in of course it fucking matters.

Exactly.

Although the words “stomping in”‘and “soapbox” lost any interest or respect from me to any views straight away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 2 boys

My eldest is my little sidekick

So this effects my youngest behaviour he can be a nightmare, us he has his mother's personality which does not help at all, he's basically a little bitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We found that parenting difficulties were equal in severity but different in type and the age they occured.

Same here. My poor dad had 4 daughters (huge respect to him!).

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone. I have really enjoyed reading your replies.

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By *illiam101000Man
over a year ago

Melton Mowbray

Similar to many already said. I had 2 boys and was friends with many other parents. 4 sets of parents had boys only and 3 sets had girls only. Upto the age of about 13 the boys were nightmares at times and the girls no trouble at all. Then the tables turned and the girls became the nightmare. Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Girls are easier 1000 percent! My boys have nearly sent me to Shelton!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two grown up sons and they were an absolute dream to raise, easy going, loving and always laughing. Watched friends raising girls and was grateful my boys were easy

People always asked me if I regretted not having girls and the answer was always 'not a chance'

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Definitely boys. I'm so glad I had a boy. Definitely less hard work! I've seen what friends go through with girls.

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