FabSwingers.com forum: Couples that don’t fight/argue….

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just read something that said “couples that don’t fight don’t have intimacy”

It was saying they aren’t invested in each other.

I have no opinion on this really yet, but I’d be interested in whether people feel this is true?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was certainly the case for the last lengthy relationship of significance that I was in

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I don’t know about the non intimacy, I always thought it was just because one was more fiery than the other and the other capitulated to the other for the sake of a quiet life.

Food for thought indeed really!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is 100% true in my world

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t know about the non intimacy, I always thought it was just because one was more fiery than the other and the other capitulated to the other for the sake of a quiet life.

Food for thought indeed really!"

Indeed. I’m really not sure where I am on this one.

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

Yes it’s very true x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We rarely argue. We have disagreements but never actual fights and we certainly don’t lack intimacy.

In a previous relationship I had we argued nonstop and said it was because we were “passionate” about each other. It took me meeting my wife to realise that was all BS.

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By *ategoodbyeMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

If so, we must be the most invested couple in England.

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By *iddylad87Man
over a year ago

kidderminster

"I just read something that said “couples that don’t fight don’t have intimacy”

It was saying they aren’t invested in each other.

I have no opinion on this really yet, but I’d be interested in whether people feel this is true?"

I’ve said this for years to me if a couple don’t argue, there’s no passion or desire there! Arguements are healthy

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm not sure. Part of me thinks maybe? But another part thinks it's like the idea that being jealous shows you care. Different people have different ways of handling situations. It doesn't mean the spark is any less there because there's not the fireworks of dramatics to go with it. I don't know.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think it depends what they mean. I've had relationships where we never argued but we did get upset/hurt/annoyed by things but we always had a discussion rather than an argument. I think if everything is rosey all the time then either someone is just sucking things up or there's something missing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hilarious bollocks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

20 years with my ex and genuinely not a single argument…… note the word ex!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hilarious bollocks. "

I’d be interested to hear your thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it depends what they mean. I've had relationships where we never argued but we did get upset/hurt/annoyed by things but we always had a discussion rather than an argument. I think if everything is rosey all the time then either someone is just sucking things up or there's something missing. "

What I read said, there is no arguing because there is no emotional intimacy or investment, and it shows a lack of care.

I know this isn’t true in some cases, like when there is good open and honest communication, but for some…..?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think if you've come from a background where fighting/arguing was common you're inclined to try and avoid it in your own relationships.

I also think that people have very widely differing views on what intimacy is and how it's expressed.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What I read said, there is no arguing because there is no emotional intimacy or investment, and it shows a lack of care.

I know this isn’t true in some cases, like when there is good open and honest communication, but for some…..?"

I think that in a relationship that previously involved arguing but now doesn't it can show that indifference has developed but it can also show that over time you've worn the sharp edges off of each other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What I read said, there is no arguing because there is no emotional intimacy or investment, and it shows a lack of care.

I know this isn’t true in some cases, like when there is good open and honest communication, but for some…..?

Both your comments make sense, thank you

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By *anilla-sinCouple
over a year ago

lancs

Again varied definitions of arguing/fighting … healthy disagreements are ok, but full on nuclear arguments are far from healthy, especially if they are frequent… doesn’t mean you don’t give a shit to not want to punch someone’s lights out on a regular basis… quite subjective because it depends what you class as an argument…

Mrs x

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

My last gf never fought and we had crazy intimacy

My last fwb fought all the time and we had crazy dex but zero intimacy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just read something that said “couples that don’t fight don’t have intimacy”

It was saying they aren’t invested in each other.

I have no opinion on this really yet, but I’d be interested in whether people feel this is true?"

It feels like something an abusive person would say to excuse their bad behaviour in a relationship.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We knew a couple who argued all the time, there was never an occasion where we saw them together that they didn't argue. If that's intimacy I want nothing to do with it

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I just read something that said “couples that don’t fight don’t have intimacy”

It was saying they aren’t invested in each other.

I have no opinion on this really yet, but I’d be interested in whether people feel this is true?"

I’d say couples that don’t fight have respect for one another - intimacy depends on their interaction with each other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just read something that said “couples that don’t fight don’t have intimacy”

It was saying they aren’t invested in each other.

I have no opinion on this really yet, but I’d be interested in whether people feel this is true?

It feels like something an abusive person would say to excuse their bad behaviour in a relationship. "

Hmm, you make a good point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just read something that said “couples that don’t fight don’t have intimacy”

It was saying they aren’t invested in each other.

I have no opinion on this really yet, but I’d be interested in whether people feel this is true?

I’d say couples that don’t fight have respect for one another - intimacy depends on their interaction with each other.

This makes sense.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I think if you've come from a background where fighting/arguing was common you're inclined to try and avoid it in your own relationships.

I also think that people have very widely differing views on what intimacy is and how it's expressed."

This. I'm a bit traumatised if I'm honest from some past experiences and shouting mostly just makes me shut down. Even without that, I don't feel like arguments often achieve anything productive, they're usually just a venting of emotion. The bit that's actually helpful is when you calm down and actually calmly and rationally deal with the issue afterwards. Some people need the argument to get things out in the open which is fair but if you don't and can just skip to the talking part then I don't see how that can mean a lack of intimacy. Personally I'm quite a word vomitter and I'll randomly just blurt it all out

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I just read something that said “couples that don’t fight don’t have intimacy”

It was saying they aren’t invested in each other.

I have no opinion on this really yet, but I’d be interested in whether people feel this is true?

It feels like something an abusive person would say to excuse their bad behaviour in a relationship. "

This! An abusive ex of mine tried to justify the shit show that was our relationship as "passion"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my wife often have words..

The trouble is I don't get to use mine.

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

"I just read something that said “couples that don’t fight don’t have intimacy”

It was saying they aren’t invested in each other.

I have no opinion on this really yet, but I’d be interested in whether people feel this is true?"

I can unfortunately confirm it as true, in 20 years never had more than a few words with raised voices let alone an argument and sadly the intimacy is increasingly diminishing as the years pass, maybe we just need a big argument and she'll fuck me into an early grave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her ladyship and I very very rarely argue and we're certainly not short of intimacy. We do however resolve issues pretty much as soon as they arise. We both prefer to resolve problems without arguing.

My previous marriage had virtually no arguments and for most of it very little then no intimacy. The only time we around have an upset would be when I brought up the lack of intimacy. Not sure if there's a correlation or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My last relationship was 13 years, and to be honest we never argued. We had zero intimacy and zero love. It was a waste of 1/3 of my life really. Can't complain, I've got 2 great bairns from it.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Was with my ex for 20 plus years and I never argued with him, it was a pointless exercise.

Me and M do argue but they are short lived and it gets sorted quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What constitutes a fight or argument though? I'd say me and Mr never fight or argue - unless me complaining about his atrocious time keeping skills is arguing?

Definitely no intimacy lost here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My last relationship was 13 years, and to be honest we never argued. We had zero intimacy and zero love. It was a waste of 1/3 of my life really. Can't complain, I've got 2 great bairns from it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Was with my ex for 20 plus years and I never argued with him, it was a pointless exercise.

Me and M do argue but they are short lived and it gets sorted quickly."
angry sex ?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I can't remember the last time we argued. We have intimacy. I don't see how the two are connected to be honest.

From March 2020 to Sept 2021, we not only lived in the same house and had little to no social contact with anyone else, but also worked FT from home for the same organisation and had a 4yo at home FT for 4 of those months. Mr KC and I did not argue or fall out with each other. We lived and worked very harmoniously together. Most people don't believe me when I say that.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

We don't fight with have disagreements, we are still intermate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lots of interesting viewpoints

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr and I don't argue really. If something is annoying either one of us then there can be a brief and rather heated exchange ("dolly bastard......cheeky cunt...). Then he usually apologises when he's wanting his balls drained. Couldn't be doing with full on fights all the time. So stressful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We bicker a bit. Rarely argue. Never fight. Have maybe raised voices 2 or 3 times in almost 30 years.

Have sex most nights. And even some days

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We never argue but do disagree.

There's definitely no lack of intimacy.

All relationships are different.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We never argue but do disagree.

There's definitely no lack of intimacy.

All relationships are different. "

Yes, I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After over 25 years we’ve kind of gotten used to each other

Intimacy is there without doubt.

We do occasionally argue about the mundane stuff but it’s fleeting and never in public.

I guess we’re just as one these days and both know the other always has our back in any situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After over 25 years we’ve kind of gotten used to each other

Intimacy is there without doubt.

We do occasionally argue about the mundane stuff but it’s fleeting and never in public.

I guess we’re just as one these days and both know the other always has our back in any situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum and dad were married from 1968 to my dad's death in 2018 and they never - as far as I'm aware and most close to them back this up - ever had a cross word let alone a 'fight' as it were. Never. Yet they were very invested in each other. So, I'm sure your statement is true for some couples. But certainly not all.

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I just read something that said “couples that don’t fight don’t have intimacy”

It was saying they aren’t invested in each other.

I have no opinion on this really yet, but I’d be interested in whether people feel this is true?"

Don’t agree. The wife and I get on each other’s tits every now and again, usually end up snapping at each other and huffing off for a while. Intimacy is long gone, though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After over 25 years we’ve kind of gotten used to each other

Intimacy is there without doubt.

We do occasionally argue about the mundane stuff but it’s fleeting and never in public.

I guess we’re just as one these days and both know the other always has our back in any situation.

This sounds just a little bit perfect.

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By *osineCouple
over a year ago

Weston-Super-Mare

Me and Hubby have never argued, yes we have annoyed one another. For us though, we listen as the other one talks and we take responsibility for our own feelings.

If he has upset me that is on me, not him and visa versa. Neither of us would intentionally hurt the other one

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"After over 25 years we’ve kind of gotten used to each other

Intimacy is there without doubt.

We do occasionally argue about the mundane stuff but it’s fleeting and never in public.

I guess we’re just as one these days and both know the other always has our back in any situation.

This sounds just a little bit perfect. "

How does it? Mr KC and I are similar (see above). People don't believe us when we say we don't fight and argue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After over 25 years we’ve kind of gotten used to each other

Intimacy is there without doubt.

We do occasionally argue about the mundane stuff but it’s fleeting and never in public.

I guess we’re just as one these days and both know the other always has our back in any situation.

This sounds just a little bit perfect.

How does it? Mr KC and I are similar (see above). People don't believe us when we say we don't fight and argue

I think JAG is meaning its perfect in a lovely sense

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

Make up sex was the best after an argument. But ex hubby left because I was hot headed, now with fella I've been it 16 yrs rarely row n that's got tits up as well . So can't win lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After over 25 years we’ve kind of gotten used to each other

Intimacy is there without doubt.

We do occasionally argue about the mundane stuff but it’s fleeting and never in public.

I guess we’re just as one these days and both know the other always has our back in any situation.

This sounds just a little bit perfect. "

It does

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

I really think it depends on communication skills.

It’s really difficult to be able to say how you are feeling without the other person taking it as criticism to some extent. Of course learning not to invalidate someone’s feelings is also critical.

Beard

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"After over 25 years we’ve kind of gotten used to each other

Intimacy is there without doubt.

We do occasionally argue about the mundane stuff but it’s fleeting and never in public.

I guess we’re just as one these days and both know the other always has our back in any situation.

This sounds just a little bit perfect.

How does it? Mr KC and I are similar (see above). People don't believe us when we say we don't fight and argue

I think JAG is meaning its perfect in a lovely sense "

Ahhhhhhhhhh. I didn't read into the comment that way, sorry

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

"I really think it depends on communication skills.

Mine just doesn't talk or listen to me anymore lol

Beard"

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