FabSwingers.com forum: You are a burglar but you only steal something that will only slightly inconvenience your victim

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

What are you stealing

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

Kettle... Everyone needs the kettle haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The underwires from all her bra's

It may be a God send for them though

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

All the teaspoons except for 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stealing they heart

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

The TV remote

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Kettle... Everyone needs the kettle haha "

I would hunt you down like a dog if you stole my kettle.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

The fuses from the fuse box.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the towels. Bath towels, hand towels, tea towels.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"All the towels. Bath towels, hand towels, tea towels. "

Oh you savage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Batteries from her favorite toy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The floor.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Phone charger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tweezers

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

The remote control...but I'd turn it to a really crappy channel first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The TV remote

I'd just take the batteries from it lol

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By *J GeminiTV/TS
over a year ago

Northumberland

Toothpaste

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
over a year ago

Essex

The “good” napkins

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By *Booboo-Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Open the windows, lock them and steal the little key.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the fitted sheets for the beds

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By *anae21Woman
over a year ago

Nearer than you think

The seat cushions from the sofa

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By *egoMan
over a year ago

Preston

Toilet paper.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd snip off all the plugs

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By *hekaiserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Her knickers from the washing basket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of each sock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their caché of sex toys

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By *bsolute101Couple
over a year ago

oxford

All the phone charger’s

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By *etefromderbyMan
over a year ago

Derby

"The TV remote

I took the TV remote and came in the toothpaste tube when I got divorce as the other half got everything I worked for in 25 years! Left a nasty taste in her mouth lol

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By *etefromderbyMan
over a year ago

Derby

[Removed by poster at 11/01/22 12:34:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their children

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"The TV remote

I took the TV remote and came in the toothpaste tube when I got divorce as the other half got everything I worked for in 25 years! Left a nasty taste in her mouth lol

You must have a good aim to get it in that little hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The door mat

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Their children "

Not funny!

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By *heMarvel-ousCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Any sex toys in the bedside table

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

"Kettle... Everyone needs the kettle haha

I would hunt you down like a dog if you stole my kettle. "

You can have mine, don't know why we have one. I don't drink tea of coffee. I did use it they other day to boil water to make jelly. But could do that in a saucepan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The light out of the fridge.

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By *adtaffladMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

The milk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take all the chairs and settee so there’s no we’re to sit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ring doorbell or modem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kitchen taps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the batteries…even the rechargeables

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By *igtatsMan
over a year ago

gravesend

All of the toilet roll except an empty tube

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By *ezzelsMan
over a year ago

cheshire and north wales

Time…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All of the toilet roll except an empty tube

Been there, done that, it didn't flush.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lights.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keys.

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

lateral flow tests

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By *hilledGuerillaMan
over a year ago

In the monkey house

The knobs from the cooker/oven.

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By *acksparrow99Man
over a year ago

London

Their inhibitions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the faucets.

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By *hebritukCouple
over a year ago

London

Toilet rolls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The floor."

This made me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Browser shortcut to fabs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hair ties/bobbles/scrunchies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t steal anything but I would quietly turn all their light switches upside down

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Toothbrush x

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

All their cake tins!

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By *igtatsMan
over a year ago

gravesend

"All of the toilet roll except an empty tube

Been there, done that, it didn't flush. "

panic mode

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I view this as a cyber crime. The item stolen being irreplaceable. It is someone's time stolen by a time waster who leads Fabers on and then ghost and bale out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Batteries to the TV remote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All of the toilet roll except an empty tube

Been there, done that, it didn't flush.

panic mode

It wasn't my finest moment I must admit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/01/22 12:55:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The milk

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By *innocentMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

I'd cut off about 3 inches from the legs of all the tables ,and instal a camera so I could watched the confused looks

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By *asters_kittenCouple
over a year ago

Luton

The toilet flush itself.

I would kindly leave a pliers for them to use. X x

Kitten.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pan handles x

Viv x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the batteries…even the rechargeables

Or the door handles

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By *i_guy_sloughMan
over a year ago

Langley

I wouldn’t steal anything I’d add something, I’d add a small circle of sticky tape to the bottom of all the batteries in the house.

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

The toilet seat.

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

The shoe rack. Nobody wants a hallway full of shoes.

At least I don’t

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By *lectrumMan
over a year ago

south shields

Toothpaste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cake and icecubes.

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By *xtremelynaughtyMan
over a year ago

East Mids…just

Contents of the cookie jar

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Take your entire toilet rolls you possess but leave you with wet wipes....

You can't say fairer than that!

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

In Sean Hughes comedy the burglar would leave him a note saying that there was nothing worth nicking & they would try to steal him a decent t.v & video instead...

So, that if you have a shit t.v & DVD player?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clothes hangers.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Their phones

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

All of the left shoes

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Clothes hangers. "
when you have finished apple there will be nothing to put in your swag bag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One left item from every pair of footwear

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

Tin opener, corkscrew, those little corn on the cob holders...

Oh, and every fuse out of every plug top...

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

The knobs or buttons from the thermostat.

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By *omblingFreeCouple
over a year ago

The Village

Something from inside the toilet cistern to stop it flushing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Door handles

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

southend

Swap all the sugar for salt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something from inside the toilet cistern to stop it flushing"

The lever

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bracknell (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Cake and icecubes.

Cake theft...

...that goes below the belt!!

Go, before you are lynched!!

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

"Cake and icecubes.

Cake theft...

...that goes below the belt!!

Go, before you are lynched!!

You're not nicking me "Ginger Nuts!"

"Step back from the Ginger Nuts & Hands off & up in the air!!!

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I’d steal half an inch from the bottom of one leg of every chair they have.

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By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple
over a year ago

A place where others reside (nr Oxford)

The cutlery!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The microwave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One sock out of every pair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every left shoe.

All their toilet roll.

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By *haron StonerTV/TS
over a year ago

Haywards Heath

Their Electricity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All their cake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The phone charger

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

U bend from the toilet

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By *ategoodbyeMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

The famous Pink Panther diamond. That never seems to be very important in the end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take all the labels off the tins in the cupboard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Their caché of sex toys

Bring a wheelbarrow

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Steal all the toilet paper apart from one piece on each roll.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take all the labels off the tins in the cupboard "

You monster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kettle... Everyone needs the kettle haha "

Not true. Adapt and overcome. Use a saucepan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt steal anything, i'd just make the table uneven so it wobbles like it does in every cafe around the country

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By *amleicesterTV/TS
over a year ago

Loughborough

Pants

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Lightbulbs

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bracknell (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"All their cake

Wonko, Not you aswell

Cake theft is the lowest of the low..

Go, before you are lynched also!

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

The roof

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

The gas supply like in "Bottom"!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bath plug and shower head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Handsome hands dildo. He can't be without it.

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By *hat Guy with the RopesMan
over a year ago

Kingston upon Hull

A single left shoe....

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By *r OreoMan
over a year ago

Croydon

fuse from the fuse box.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Charging cables

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By *dd_soxMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

I would take the Esc key off the keyboard...

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

"Handsome hands dildo. He can't be without it. "

you're brave handling that without a hazmat suit

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bracknell (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Any and all sets of keys ... even the ones people keep that they can't remember what they are for!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Their denture glue …. Or swap the labels on their toothpaste and their haemorrhoid cream for a proper pout!!

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Any and all sets of keys ... even the ones people keep that they can't remember what they are for!"

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By *elightfulharmonyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Haha this is funny for a women would be maybe the make up, straighters, hairdryer I know I’d be gutted

for a male maybe there aftershave, hair gel, and gym wear would say toilet seat but they don’t put it down anyway and probably be relieve

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

The Wi-Fi router

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All their cake

Wonko, Not you aswell

Cake theft is the lowest of the low..

Go, before you are lynched also!"

CAKE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bag containing all the other baga in the house

Or the TV remote

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

All the light bulbs & cutlery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The bag containing all the other baga in the house

Or the TV remote"

Bags*

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

The cardboard tubes out of all the bog roll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The slat from the bed right under the pillows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lube. Although you can't steal mine because spit is more environmentally friendly, cheaper and readily available

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Toilet roll.

We saw how people respond to that during lockdown.

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

The charger cables for Lovense toys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their phone charger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you stealing

A single clothes peg. They'll never know. Mwhahahaha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The USB wires for all chargers in the house

Doughnut

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

The alarm from the cooker, so you end up burning your tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phone charger cable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Their phone charger"

Great minds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd probably cry if someone took my calculator and favourite pen.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Appletree's calculator and favourite pen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a re think steal the coffee and replace with decaf (absolute savage!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bath plug or light bulbs

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

The little hand off the clock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Appletree's calculator and favourite pen"

Hm.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"Appletree's calculator and favourite pen

Hm. "

Oh, ok. You can have them back

I'll pinch your TV remote instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Appletree's calculator and favourite pen

Hm.

Oh, ok. You can have them back

I'll pinch your TV remote instead. "

Go for it. Don't watch the TV

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"Appletree's calculator and favourite pen

Hm.

Oh, ok. You can have them back

I'll pinch your TV remote instead.

Go for it. Don't watch the TV

Brilliant, as then I can swap it for someone else's and really confuse them

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

I'd like to steal their dignity...

Thank you..

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

The plugs by cutting the cables

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A single curtain tieback from the lounge.

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By *lex_the_CATCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Last year's Christmas cards from the neighbours. So they won't be able to copy the names and have to put to everyone at number 44

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By *al01Man
over a year ago

solihull

All the toilet roll apart from one sheet

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By *rummieBoy14Man
over a year ago

birmingham

TV remote

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

The cardboard tube from inside the loo roll.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

"Their children "

That would totally not be an inconvenience.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I'd snip off all the plugs

"
FFS, switch of the power first, unless you want to get nominated for a Darwin Award.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I'd nick their nail clippers, can't find mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phone charger.

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By *UCKiliketofuckMan
over a year ago

kettering

There wife

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By *ngelFire2020Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

The remote screen from the smart meter.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

The white ball from the pool table.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All their coffee

So they crack up and lose their minds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Veris & Fabs

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By *ewClubCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

All of the batteries out their tv remotes.

All of their toilet roll.

All of their shoes laces.

All of their bath towels.

All of their shampoo. I get really annoyed if I get in the shower, wash my hair and then realise we’ve ran out and have to get out of the shower to get some…I imagine it would be even worse if there wasn’t any left to get!

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By *illibethWoman
over a year ago

Midlands and North Wales

"The “good” napkins

People have 'good' napkins?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/01/22 19:50:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One sock from every pair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The toaster.

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By *r easy1981Man
over a year ago

leeds

Batteries out of everything

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"One sock from every pair."

My god! So it was you all along?!

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By *lla4everTV/TS
over a year ago

Overseas

their fingernails

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I'd cut the plugs off of everything...justvtoo short to reach any socket.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 sock from each pair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One sock from every pair.

My god! So it was you all along?!

Damn! I knew I shouldn't have confessed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would change the time on every clock by a few minutes but only within 10 mins of each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of the vowels from their keyboard

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

The mouse from their desktop.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

All the cables from the back of the telly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The enter key from all the computer keyboards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/01/22 21:37:34]

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