FabSwingers.com forum: Would you tell??

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Been watching a documentary about dying and its got me wondering...

Would you tell loved ones/friends if you found out you had a terminal illness or just let them live blissfully unaware?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I'd tell them.

If it were them, I'd want to know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I'd tell them. I'd want them to make funeral arrangements with me so they didn't have those decisions to think about after I passed wondering if what they chose is what I would have wanted. Obviously the goodbyes would be important too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Tell them x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely tell them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

I have this situation at the moment in my family and they told us. I’d rather know/tell so we can enjoy whatever time is left without the other “normal” pressures of life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushpuppiesMan
over a year ago

London

Yeah i would. And let them know i was okay with it in the hope it eases their suffering

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’d tell them. So I can make necessary preparations and they had the knowledge of knowing how much time they had left with me and it wasn’t a shock.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I most definitely would so we could make the most of the time we had left together. I'd also struggle to carry that secret around by myself, I think it would cause some major anxiety and depression. I'm lucky enough to know my loved ones would want to know so they could support me through the end of life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/01/22 20:16:21]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell them, I'd like to tell them what recycle bin I want to be put in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell them.

My Father in Law was terminally ill with pancreatic cancer which had spread. He kept it from us right until the week he passed, it was heartbreaking, we had no time to come to terms with it at all. What can you do or say to that?

I just couldn't put my kids through it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’m really not sure.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let them live blissfully unaware my body is being donated to orgen transplant and medical science anyway

Wouldn’t want them to worry and fuss over me

But what I would do is spend as much time with them as possible and make happy memories for them

Unknownly so that when I do go they can look back on those joyist memories and realise I was doing it so they had happy memories off me

And not the end sick me off looking after me and being a burden on them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I couldn't tell it would feel like a burden.why would I want them to feel sad not able to enjoy their happiness without having to worry.

As if they don't have enough to think about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

I’d definitely tell them. I’d need mental support and practical support getting my affairs in order. Plus I’d probably be acting a little erratic at times so would want people to know why and not think it was their fault etc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I'd tell them. It would give them time to come to terms with it and I get to spend as much time as I can with them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell them, otherwise they would wonder why I have buggered off round the world doing crazy stuff until I peg out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

That’s a difficult one …..

As soon as you share it with someone else - family or friend it then becomes their burden too. It automatic additional worry for someone else.

I’d need to offload it somewhere but I’d be tempted to go to someone impartial initially. If it where ‘C’ I’d need to get over the shock first and find out how to deal with it before I involve anyone else.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"That’s a difficult one …..

As soon as you share it with someone else - family or friend it then becomes their burden too. It automatic additional worry for someone else.

Yes I think this is what I’d do too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *histle do nicelyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow South

Got kids... Would tell

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Personally I wouldn't. I'd rather they remained unaware. What they don't know can't hurt them x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very difficult one !

When my wife died in 2012 I was there all the way through would not let her go in to hospital or hospice so cared for her at home she died in my arms with her family around her upsetting but good to know I looked after her the best I could.

So the answer to you’re question is personally from me I’d dissapear I wouldn’t tell anyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I would tell them. I witnessed and supported my best friend die of cancer at the age of 34. It was heartbreaking, used to drive her to the hospital for chemo appointments and sit and wait with her (her family lived a long way away). Spoke to her about her fears about what was to come. I hope I made a difference to her and I'd have felt bad as a friend if she had suffered it all alone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell them as I feel they have a right to know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

it would depend but I'd only tell adults if I knew with 100% certainty that they wanted to know. I'm trying to imagine a scenario where I'd know and they didn't though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The people closest to me I'd tell. They have a right to know so they have time to process and we have time to make some lovely memories I can leave them with. I'd want to sort my funeral, get everything in order and give certain things away to people too so that my kids and family weren't left to deal with it all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell them. My dad and friend told the people important to them. You never know how you are going to react. My dad was angry at being robbed of his years as he only had 6 months but my mate just wanted it over, as it had been a long time coming.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah.

Reckon I’d have one last mega weekend with them all, major sure they know how much I love them and that I was happy and then go die alone on my own terms so they’d remember me as I was.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

I would tell them, would hate to go downhill n they worried what was wrong. Couldn't put my son through that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t imagine not telling them x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

My family? I'd tell them to their faces to see if the evil bastards break down.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igtatsMan
over a year ago

gravesend

I’m not sure I could tell them but I don’t have kids so less to worry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulldog_71Man
over a year ago

Sedgefield

I'd tell them, I used to live next to someone who had terminal cancer and told nobody the family were full of guilt after because they she went through it alone her husband never got over it and it took years for her son to come to terms with it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"it would depend but I'd only tell adults if I knew with 100% certainty that they wanted to know. I'm trying to imagine a scenario where I'd know and they didn't though "

I've read the op completely wrong

If it was me I wouldn't be able to hide it I don't think. I probably wouldn't tell my parents though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I’d ride that pity party as long and hard as I could

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acksparrow99Man
over a year ago

London

They'd find out one way or the other so I guess I'd tell them. I'd use whatever time I'd have left to say my goodbyes, enjoy myself within reason, and quietly pass away.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell everyone and hope for pitty sex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

Just wanted to say sorry for all those who've lost someone firstly x

Secondly I'd have to tell them so they could come along for the hell of a journey I'd have before I croaked. Make some serious memories and allow them to process it with me rather than blindside them with the loss x

Hubby already knows what I want in case I get hit by a bus so hopefully he'd do me proud x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure about friends but would tell the family so appropriate decisions, preparations etc could be made.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I wouldn't tell them until I had to.

I've been in that scenario in a supportive role for a very close friend for 8 months and it nearly broke me permanently...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I'd just tell parents.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'd tell them, so we could make some great memories

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wasn't told the truth straight away about a very close family member who was terminally ill. It really messed with my head, big style. Please don't put your loved ones through that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Some symptoms are hard to hide.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell my closest friends and family so that they could understand my low periods but I wouldn't tell anyone else until it became obvious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been watching a documentary about dying and its got me wondering...

Would you tell loved ones/friends if you found out you had a terminal illness or just let them live blissfully unaware? "

Id tell some, depending on the relationship

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I'm not sure as I wouldn't like the questions about an illness or people trying to act normally around me.

My mates wife didn't tell many people. I only found out the day she died, from my mate. I did quite like that she didn't tell many people which made it her thing and she controlled it. She was a very quite and reserved person and it was her to a T.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d tell them next time I saw them so probably about a year after I died

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Depends on the individual.....

Certainly a partner. Children I'd give more consideration to depending on their age and perceived ability to cope.

If I was going to alter drastically/quickly i'd tell all the family.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orruptionandliesMan
over a year ago

leeds

I would not tell the kids immediately but I would share with close family and friends

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I’d hold off telling them until I’ve got my head around it, understand what is likely to happen, get arrangements in place, etc. That way I am better prepared to support them and answer the inevitable questions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinda illness related. Ive been hiding the true about me for 10yrs... i broke and had to say as it was pinching me all the time... now i feel way better and she accept it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

As I don't have children, I won't. It might sound morbid, but I've had my funeral arrangements all sorted and paid for for ages so family members have nothing to worry about x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would depend on what it was. My mother never believes anything I tell her so I've stopped telling her some things because of that very reason x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Of course I would, then plan a living wake. So then I get to enjoy them celebrating my passing as well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be very hard to come to terms with a diagnosis that meant you were terminally ill without being able to tell close family, that would tear you up. What a question to ask!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

I would tell them. They'd kill me if I didn't! Then we'd party like rock stars with a living wake.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure as I wouldn't like the questions about an illness or people trying to act normally around me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That’s a difficult one …..

As soon as you share it with someone else - family or friend it then becomes their burden too. It automatic additional worry for someone else.

I can relate to what this lady says.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think I would tell anyone except to make sure the dogs were ok. When had cancer didn't tell anyone till got the all clear.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunderace...Man
over a year ago

Dudley

I was diagnosed once as having a stage 4 cancer and given less than 6 months, there was no way of avoiding family knowing as I was only 20yrs old and the support I recieved helped me prove every doctor wrong. I'm 52 now

However 11 months ago I thought for a time I'd got something that had no chance of walking away from, I deleted my profile and only confided in 2 fab friends and to this day still haven't told family.

I'm fine now but I personally wouldn't put anyone through the trauma, I'd rather see them happy in their ignorance than destroyed with knowledge.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

I’d say nothing then come back to haunt them…only reasonable thing to do !!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I’d say nothing then come back to haunt them…only reasonable thing to do !!! "

My hauting list grows bugger every day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread