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Best opening line?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What works for you either receiving or sending?

What gets a reply?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hello."

He says hello

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll be honest I’ve never had anyone talk to me first in here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ll be honest I’ve never had anyone talk to me first in here "

Perhaps it's worth asking for some profile help on a separate thread? But being on the forums is a great start!

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By *actileGent69Man
over a year ago

East Cheshire

(after she returned from the ladies) "Excuse me, the back of your dress is tucked in your knickers"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Don’t turn this into a murder”

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By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries


"What works for you either receiving or sending?

What gets a reply? "

I'm in same boat when comes to first message

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s only happened a couple of times and always as a direct response to a forum post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Want to sit on my face and wriggle

Work's for me every time

Not!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"“Don’t turn this into a murder”"

Erm..well it would get my attention?

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By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries


"“Don’t turn this into a murder”

Erm..well it would get my attention?

"

Check ya inbox

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It’s only happened a couple of times and always as a direct response to a forum post"

What's happened a couple of times ??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There isn't one, just wing it...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"(after she returned from the ladies) "Excuse me, the back of your dress is tucked in your knickers" "

And what happened then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"“Don’t turn this into a murder”

Erm..well it would get my attention?

Check ya inbox

"

Keep it on the thread please

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s only happened a couple of times and always as a direct response to a forum post

What's happened a couple of times ??"

Receiving an first message

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By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries

[Removed by poster at 05/01/22 20:21:32]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It’s only happened a couple of times and always as a direct response to a forum post

What's happened a couple of times ??

Receiving an first message"

Actually think we have had a chat via the forum?

What intro message do you send that gets results ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries


"“Don’t turn this into a murder”

Erm..well it would get my attention?

Check ya inbox

Keep it on the thread please "

Ok, just thought I'd be nice

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Want to sit on my face and wriggle

Work's for me every time

Not!"

I've had this one (not from you) and it's a block from me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have an opening gambit, I to make something up on the fly...

But if and when I receive a message, it's usually "hi" "how you doing" type stuff.. which I really don't mind.

Except that many women are a wee bit arsey about blokes being creative with their first messages.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't have an opening gambit, I to make something up on the fly...

But if and when I receive a message, it's usually "hi" "how you doing" type stuff.. which I really don't mind.

Except that many women are a wee bit arsey about blokes being creative with their first messages."

Are we arsey? I'd much prefer something creative than another "how're you" or "great tits"!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Hello, is it me you're looking for? ... Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart...”

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have an opening gambit, I to make something up on the fly...

But if and when I receive a message, it's usually "hi" "how you doing" type stuff.. which I really don't mind.

Except that many women are a wee bit arsey about blokes being creative with their first messages.

Are we arsey? I'd much prefer something creative than another "how're you" or "great tits"! "

True, but you'd agree that if you insist on creativity, it's only fair that you resiprocate

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't have an opening gambit, I to make something up on the fly...

But if and when I receive a message, it's usually "hi" "how you doing" type stuff.. which I really don't mind.

Except that many women are a wee bit arsey about blokes being creative with their first messages.

Are we arsey? I'd much prefer something creative than another "how're you" or "great tits"!

True, but you'd agree that if you insist on creativity, it's only fair that you resiprocate "

I don't insist on anything. You'd have to ask the men I've messaged if I am creative but every single one of them replied...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

Can I ask you a question?

They can't help themselves but insist that I already asked one

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"“Hello, is it me you're looking for? ... Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart...” "

That's rather sweet!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend

fat penguin doesnt seem to work very well even though it would break the ice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“Hello, is it me you're looking for? ... Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart...”

That's rather sweet! "

yes, I thought so to since an opening like that would keep you going “All night long”

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

A guy comes up to me at a bar and says hello... So I said...

"Has anyone told you you're a spitting image of Tom Selleck?"

He gave me that cheeky dimpled smile and replied...

"All the time..."

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I like your outfit: this is getting to be my staple line on fancy dress nights.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"fat penguin doesn't seem to work very well even though it would break the ice "

Upgrade to a polar bear!

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

FAF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have an opening gambit, I to make something up on the fly...

But if and when I receive a message, it's usually "hi" "how you doing" type stuff.. which I really don't mind.

Except that many women are a wee bit arsey about blokes being creative with their first messages.

Are we arsey? I'd much prefer something creative than another "how're you" or "great tits"!

True, but you'd agree that if you insist on creativity, it's only fair that you resiprocate

I don't insist on anything. You'd have to ask the men I've messaged if I am creative but every single one of them replied..."

My comments aren't aimed at you personally, or all women... just the ones who do insist on it

..and there are a lot of profiles that do

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"fat penguin doesn't seem to work very well even though it would break the ice

Upgrade to a polar bear!"

fat or just a polar bear lol?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Hello, my name is Dick, do you like it ?

Well it worked very well for my mate at Uni

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"Hello, my name is Dick, do you like it ?

Well it worked very well for my mate at Uni "

what if your names steve though

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"Hello, my name is Dick, do you like it ?

Well it worked very well for my mate at Uni

what if your names steve though

"

You tell a mistrusth. His name was Richard though and he was a handsome bastard.

Not jealous much

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s only happened a couple of times and always as a direct response to a forum post

What's happened a couple of times ??

Receiving an first message

Actually think we have had a chat via the forum?

What intro message do you send that gets results ?"

Yeah we have, you’re very pleasant to talk to.

I don’t send the send thing to people. I tend to comment on some detail in their profile or picture and occasionally that gets a response but I don’t often send out messages these days

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"Hello, my name is Dick, do you like it ?

Well it worked very well for my mate at Uni

what if your names steve though

You tell a mistrusth. His name was Richard though and he was a handsome bastard.

Not jealous much "

some people get all the luck lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I ask you a question?

They can't help themselves but insist that I already asked one "

I think it would work for you, FH, but possibly not everyone! It's one that I've seen other women moan about...to be fair I usually say no if I get that message!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"fat penguin doesnt seem to work very well even though it would break the ice "

You call them a fat penguin?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"“Hello, is it me you're looking for? ... Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart...”

That's rather sweet!

yes, I thought so to since an opening like that would keep you going “All night long” "

Groan!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“Hello, is it me you're looking for? ... Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart...”

That's rather sweet!

yes, I thought so to since an opening like that would keep you going “All night long”

Groan! "

I know, and I’m sorry, since I can’t help but be silly at best of times when fabbing...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you have chickens when you were growing up?

Because you know how to raise a cock

Never would try it unless of course it would work….

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"FAF "

Sending or receiving?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"fat penguin doesnt seem to work very well even though it would break the ice

You call them a fat penguin? "

lol not the intention maybe thats where its all going wrong think i will try PT's polar bear and see what happens next time

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't have an opening gambit, I to make something up on the fly...

But if and when I receive a message, it's usually "hi" "how you doing" type stuff.. which I really don't mind.

Except that many women are a wee bit arsey about blokes being creative with their first messages.

Are we arsey? I'd much prefer something creative than another "how're you" or "great tits"!

True, but you'd agree that if you insist on creativity, it's only fair that you resiprocate

I don't insist on anything. You'd have to ask the men I've messaged if I am creative but every single one of them replied...

My comments aren't aimed at you personally, or all women... just the ones who do insist on it

..and there are a lot of profiles that do"

Jeez I don't ask for much, just messages that show someone has read my profile / aren't sexual and not a boring one-liner! Demanding creativity is a bit much.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hello, my name is Dick, do you like it ?

Well it worked very well for my mate at Uni

what if your names steve though

You tell a mistrusth. His name was Richard though and he was a handsome bastard.

Not jealous much "

Change your name?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Want to sit on my face and wriggle

Work's for me every time

Not!

I've had this one (not from you) and it's a block from me!"

Go on block me too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It’s only happened a couple of times and always as a direct response to a forum post

What's happened a couple of times ??

Receiving an first message

Actually think we have had a chat via the forum?

What intro message do you send that gets results ?

Yeah we have, you’re very pleasant to talk to.

I don’t send the send thing to people. I tend to comment on some detail in their profile or picture and occasionally that gets a response but I don’t often send out messages these days"

thank you, the same to you. I think something that's personal to the recipient can often work but many women still won't reply if their criteria isn't met.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Wuu2?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"Wuu2?"

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Code for Amazon shopping voucher

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wuu2?"

Urgh!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"fat penguin doesnt seem to work very well even though it would break the ice

You call them a fat penguin?

lol not the intention maybe thats where its all going wrong think i will try PT's polar bear and see what happens next time

"

Attaboy!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"fat penguin doesnt seem to work very well even though it would break the ice

You call them a fat penguin?

lol not the intention maybe thats where its all going wrong think i will try PT's polar bear and see what happens next time

Attaboy! "

I'm blaming you for any blocking though lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Code for Amazon shopping voucher"

Fess up - have you actually done this?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby


"Can I ask you a question?

They can't help themselves but insist that I already asked one

I think it would work for you, FH, but possibly not everyone! It's one that I've seen other women moan about...to be fair I usually say no if I get that message!"

I was only joking, I don't really send that to be honest, I haven't found the formula yet and don't send the first message nowadays

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

"

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network"

K

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol"

Over my head

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I ask you a question?

They can't help themselves but insist that I already asked one

I think it would work for you, FH, but possibly not everyone! It's one that I've seen other women moan about...to be fair I usually say no if I get that message!

I was only joking, I don't really send that to be honest, I haven't found the formula yet and don't send the first message nowadays"

Lots of guys use it! The question I have been asked is ... do I still have periods?

So yeah best not!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anybody remember that song from like ‘98 or ‘99

“I’ve noticed you around. I find you very attractive. Would you go to bed with me?”

No. Never worked for me either…

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

Over my head "

lol old phones had a limit to the number of characters a text could contain so "txt spk" was born to accommodate this issue but technology improved and so did the mobile networks to allow us to send text messages just the same as emails with no limit to the number of characters that could be used.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ustauseerTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

A guy hit me with ‘Are you https cause without you I’m just :// ‘ and I laughed at that. Nerd jokes are great

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The question I have been asked is ... do I still have periods?"

*blink* *blink*

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

Over my head "

Basically when the mobile phone networks went from analog to digital. Original text messages (or SMS - short message service) were only 147 characters long. Any longer you got charged for 2 messages, even if it was 1 character.

It’s why Twitter has a tweet length of 147, so people could tweet via text messages.

Hence why Txt speak started.

HRU

CUL8R…

Well you get the point.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Code for Amazon shopping voucher

Fess up - have you actually done this?"

'Course not. I just tempt them in with chat about cushions. What woman could resist?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

Over my head

Basically when the mobile phone networks went from analog to digital. Original text messages (or SMS - short message service) were only 147 characters long. Any longer you got charged for 2 messages, even if it was 1 character.

It’s why Twitter has a tweet length of 147, so people could tweet via text messages.

Hence why Txt speak started.

HRU

CUL8R…

Well you get the point."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

Over my head

lol old phones had a limit to the number of characters a text could contain so "txt spk" was born to accommodate this issue but technology improved and so did the mobile networks to allow us to send text messages just the same as emails with no limit to the number of characters that could be used.

"

Sorry to be blunt ... but I really wouldn't recommend that as an opening message.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A guy hit me with ‘Are you https cause without you I’m just :// ‘ and I laughed at that. Nerd jokes are great "

If they can make you laugh, they're onto a winner!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

Over my head

Basically when the mobile phone networks went from analog to digital. Original text messages (or SMS - short message service) were only 147 characters long. Any longer you got charged for 2 messages, even if it was 1 character.

It’s why Twitter has a tweet length of 147, so people could tweet via text messages.

Hence why Txt speak started.

HRU

CUL8R…

Well you get the point."

Which nerd level is this?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What works for you either receiving or sending?

What gets a reply? "

Literally anything I receive works for me. I could be messaged to say I'm an ugly tosser but I'd still be grateful for the Message!

In regards to getting a response, il let you know when I find an opening line that works

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The question I have been asked is ... do I still have periods?

*blink* *blink* "

Yeah. I know. I was told it's to pre-empt bareback requests.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Code for Amazon shopping voucher

Fess up - have you actually done this?

'Course not. I just tempt them in with chat about cushions. What woman could resist?"

Cushions? Yeah I could go for cushions. I've had 20 messages since I started the thread and none of them are as interesting as cushions.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

Over my head

Basically when the mobile phone networks went from analog to digital. Original text messages (or SMS - short message service) were only 147 characters long. Any longer you got charged for 2 messages, even if it was 1 character.

It’s why Twitter has a tweet length of 147, so people could tweet via text messages.

Hence why Txt speak started.

HRU

CUL8R…

Well you get the point.

Which nerd level is this? "

not so much nerd as growing up at just the right time to have dealt with the issues of trying to message friends as cheaply as possible lol

oh and being a computer geek aswell in my case

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What works for you either receiving or sending?

What gets a reply?

Literally anything I receive works for me. I could be messaged to say I'm an ugly tosser but I'd still be grateful for the Message!

In regards to getting a response, il let you know when I find an opening line that works "

Keep your standards - no-one should put up with nasty messages

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"fat penguin doesnt seem to work very well even though it would break the ice

You call them a fat penguin?

lol not the intention maybe thats where its all going wrong think i will try PT's polar bear and see what happens next time

Attaboy!

I'm blaming you for any blocking though lol"

Really?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg-xQrWSEKw

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Does anybody remember that song from like ‘98 or ‘99

“I’ve noticed you around. I find you very attractive. Would you go to bed with me?”

No. Never worked for me either…"

I do, very Euro pop

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Get ya coat luv, you've pulled.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

Over my head

Basically when the mobile phone networks went from analog to digital. Original text messages (or SMS - short message service) were only 147 characters long. Any longer you got charged for 2 messages, even if it was 1 character.

It’s why Twitter has a tweet length of 147, so people could tweet via text messages.

Hence why Txt speak started.

HRU

CUL8R…

Well you get the point.

Which nerd level is this?

not so much nerd as growing up at just the right time to have dealt with the issues of trying to message friends as cheaply as possible lol

oh and being a computer geek aswell in my case"

Really cos I’d have said extreme geek. And yes, I self identify as a geek.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mateur100Man
over a year ago

nr faversham

Can I smell your pussy?

No you can't!!!

Must be your feet then

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

Over my head

Basically when the mobile phone networks went from analog to digital. Original text messages (or SMS - short message service) were only 147 characters long. Any longer you got charged for 2 messages, even if it was 1 character.

It’s why Twitter has a tweet length of 147, so people could tweet via text messages.

Hence why Txt speak started.

HRU

CUL8R…

Well you get the point.

Which nerd level is this?

not so much nerd as growing up at just the right time to have dealt with the issues of trying to message friends as cheaply as possible lol

oh and being a computer geek aswell in my case

Really cos I’d have said extreme geek. And yes, I self identify as a geek."

Sssssh I was trying to down play it fella lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Get ya coat luv, you've pulled. "

Arrrghhhhhh

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I smell your pussy?

No you can't!!!

Must be your feet then "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brace yourself

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wuu2?

Text speak is the one thing that drives me mad, we stopped needing to use it when they removed the character limit and enabled multi part text messages on the old GSM network

What it bugs the hell out of me lol

Over my head

Basically when the mobile phone networks went from analog to digital. Original text messages (or SMS - short message service) were only 147 characters long. Any longer you got charged for 2 messages, even if it was 1 character.

It’s why Twitter has a tweet length of 147, so people could tweet via text messages.

Hence why Txt speak started.

HRU

CUL8R…

Well you get the point.

Which nerd level is this?

not so much nerd as growing up at just the right time to have dealt with the issues of trying to message friends as cheaply as possible lol

oh and being a computer geek aswell in my case

Really cos I’d have said extreme geek. And yes, I self identify as a geek.

Sssssh I was trying to down play it fella lol"

Oh. Shit. Whoops. Sorry. My bad lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd write them bad poetry.

For example:

Oh when I see dear Bluebell,

My shrunken balls they do swell,

from heaven she did fell,

I wish she'd ride all day on my bell........end.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Brace yourself "

Did you use "brace your elves" in December?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's does a man with a 12" penis have for breakfast?

Today I had a boiled egg

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlechick77Couple
over a year ago

Staines

A guys opening one line couple days ago

Who is the best fuck you have watched you misses have

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brace yourself

Did you use "brace your elves" in December? "

I didn’t, but it’s going in the one stop shop of one liners in my mind for when Christmas 22 starts in October

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Brace yourself

Did you use "brace your elves" in December?

I didn’t, but it’s going in the one stop shop of one liners in my mind for when Christmas 22 starts in October "

Watch out FAB peeps!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd write them bad poetry.

For example:

Oh when I see dear Bluebell,

My shrunken balls they do swell,

from heaven she did fell,

I wish she'd ride all day on my bell........end.

"

Erm..that's...erm

I had a poem written for me in my first week on the site. I rated that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's does a man with a 12" penis have for breakfast?

Today I had a boiled egg

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A guys opening one line couple days ago

Who is the best fuck you have watched you misses have"

That's the BEST opening line you've had?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door!

No it’s never worked lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"Can I ask you a question?

They can't help themselves but insist that I already asked one "

Or, you just did but you were only allowed one ...uummmm what a waste?!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funniest one I had was “would you like £££’s to let me watch you ooo”

I thought it was a bit of a bum deal. I would have accepted $$$’s instead.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I've got a itch in a spot I can't reach, think you could help?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you. I could walk through my garden forever."

Alfred Lord Tennyson - Queen Mary

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door!

No it’s never worked lol "

Sorry to hear that!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Funniest one I had was “would you like £££’s to let me watch you ooo”

I thought it was a bit of a bum deal. I would have accepted $$$’s instead. "

Cheap date, Keyser?

For me anyone offering money gets reported and blocked!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've got a itch in a spot I can't reach, think you could help? "

And has it worked for you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""If I had a flower for every time I thought of you. I could walk through my garden forever."

Alfred Lord Tennyson - Queen Mary "

A Tennyson quote would certainly make a change to "I want you to ride me"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst paying in the petrol station after filling my sons land Rover up the assistant saying "will you fill mine up if call you daddy?"

Yup I got her number lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Whilst paying in the petrol station after filling my sons land Rover up the assistant saying "will you fill mine up if call you daddy?"

Yup I got her number lol"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's only one thing you need to know about me. I like my bacon crispy in the morning with a cup of tea

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

It varies. I try to mention something on their profile and do a little introduction of me.

Sometimes it works but more often it doesn't. But that's fine. Get more responses on our couples profile but that's only natural.

It's why it's always good to try and go to socials and clubs. IMHO.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *urious_couple_ukCouple
over a year ago

South Cambs

I have been sent jokes a few times, but to be fair whatever the line, it only works if I'm attracted to them. I'll mostly check their profile if they've messaged but humour, compliments and having read the profile get you a long way! (Compliments, I know, go ahead and call me shallow!!)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland


"I have been sent jokes a few times, but to be fair whatever the line, it only works if I'm attracted to them. I'll mostly check their profile if they've messaged but humour, compliments and having read the profile get you a long way! (Compliments, I know, go ahead and call me shallow!!) "

Bit of humor is a huge hit for us in a first message or even just mentioning something from our profile

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia


"Did you have chickens when you were growing up?

Because you know how to raise a cock

Never would try it unless of course it would work…."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

nr southend

Just heard an absolute cracker from a young lady I know and have to say I am sure if a guy said it it would be an instant block lol

"Can I put my hotdog in your buns?" or "wanna play hide the sausage"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries

This is a struggle for me as never been that good with words

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someone fabs a dick pic of mine I ask if they work in the post office because I've seen them checking out my package

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There's only one thing you need to know about me. I like my bacon crispy in the morning with a cup of tea "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It varies. I try to mention something on their profile and do a little introduction of me.

Sometimes it works but more often it doesn't. But that's fine. Get more responses on our couples profile but that's only natural.

It's why it's always good to try and go to socials and clubs. IMHO."

I get that not everyone wants to or can do socials/clubs. But the message seems to be for guys that this is a much easier route!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me "

Cheese! Does it work for you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have been sent jokes a few times, but to be fair whatever the line, it only works if I'm attracted to them. I'll mostly check their profile if they've messaged but humour, compliments and having read the profile get you a long way! (Compliments, I know, go ahead and call me shallow!!) "

I think lots of people like a compliment, it's now shallow

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just heard an absolute cracker from a young lady I know and have to say I am sure if a guy said it it would be an instant block lol

"Can I put my hotdog in your buns?" or "wanna play hide the sausage" "

It would be a risky strategy, for sure!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By * plus SCouple
over a year ago

newcastle

One that made me laugh was

“Your hotter than the bottom of my laptop”

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is a struggle for me as never been that good with words"

Yeah I think it is tougher for those who don't find the online chat easy. Maybe where clubs and socials might work better?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When someone fabs a dick pic of mine I ask if they work in the post office because I've seen them checking out my package "

Cheese lol but does it work for you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is your last name flintstone coz I’ll make your bedrock! But it hasn’t worked yet lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"One that made me laugh was

“Your hotter than the bottom of my laptop” "

I like that! is it awful that I'm so bored of "you're hot, you're sexy...."?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone fabs a dick pic of mine I ask if they work in the post office because I've seen them checking out my package

Cheese lol but does it work for you? "

Never haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""If I had a flower for every time I thought of you. I could walk through my garden forever."

Alfred Lord Tennyson - Queen Mary

A Tennyson quote would certainly make a change to "I want you to ride me" "

I’m sure there’s a song in there somewhere...!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

w

I’d imagine for most the sending being really really really ridiculously good looking is the best opening

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’


"I’d imagine for most the sending being really really really ridiculously good looking is the best opening "

Nah, being good looking, well ripped & a foot long nob!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If beauty were time, you would be forever.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I've got a itch in a spot I can't reach, think you could help?

And has it worked for you?"

I got a reply

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is your last name flintstone coz I’ll make your bedrock! But it hasn’t worked yet lol"

If it's not working try a new joke!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When someone fabs a dick pic of mine I ask if they work in the post office because I've seen them checking out my package

Cheese lol but does it work for you?

Never haha "

Oh dear

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rouble MeWoman
over a year ago

Your Hotlist

Marry me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""If I had a flower for every time I thought of you. I could walk through my garden forever."

Alfred Lord Tennyson - Queen Mary

A Tennyson quote would certainly make a change to "I want you to ride me"

I’m sure there’s a song in there somewhere...! "

Most likely

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’d imagine for most the sending being really really really ridiculously good looking is the best opening

Nah, being good looking, well ripped & a foot long nob!!!"

Politely, nope to all three. Someone I find attractive, who I can talk to, who meets my criteria.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Marry me"

I bet you've had a few proposals?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rouble MeWoman
over a year ago

Your Hotlist


"Marry me

I bet you've had a few proposals? "

I did haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Marry me

I bet you've had a few proposals?

I did haha"

I've had more on Fab than I've had in real life! So proud

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rouble MeWoman
over a year ago

Your Hotlist


"Marry me

I bet you've had a few proposals?

I did haha

I've had more on Fab than I've had in real life! So proud "

Same here, and those were not even from my ex partners

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you know where the library is?

Also how do you feel about getting your arsehole tongued and peace

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Marry me

I bet you've had a few proposals?

I did haha

I've had more on Fab than I've had in real life! So proud

Same here, and those were not even from my ex partners "

They make me smile

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you know where the library is?

Also how do you feel about getting your arsehole tongued and peace"

Arsehole tongued IN the library?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you know where the library is?

Also how do you feel about getting your arsehole tongued and peace

Arsehole tongued IN the library? "

Absolutely, I know a quiet spot by cook books section

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi I’m the pool cleaner

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you know where the library is?

Also how do you feel about getting your arsehole tongued and peace

Arsehole tongued IN the library?

Absolutely, I know a quiet spot by cook books section "

I just bet you do!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Best opening line? "Sirens are screaming in the fires of hell way down in the valley tonight"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi I’m the pool cleaner "

And how successful is that?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Call for final submissions!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *scarpatMan
over a year ago

sexy town

Start the violin.... I've never had a first message from a woman!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

this is aQI question, not the Stephen Fry/Sandi Toksvik, but Asite called Quote investigator...

Quote Investigator: QI has located no substantive support for crediting the famous poet Alfred Lord Tennyson with this expression.

The earliest evidence of a close match found by QI was printed in an advertising section of a Santa Ana, California newspaper on Valentine’s Day in 1985. The section contained messages expressing love, and one item was addressed to Theresa from Steve:[2]

IF I HAD A SINGLE FLOWER FOR EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT YOU I WOULD WALK FOREVER IN MY GARDEN.

The phrasing of this instance differed somewhat from the most common modern version. For example, this poem referred to “a single flower” instead of “a flower”; also, the position of the word “forever” was shifted. No attribution was listed.

In subsequent years, instances of the poem appeared as a Valentine’s Day message in other newspapers. For example, in 1989 the European edition of “The Stars and Stripes” for the U.S. Armed Forces included an item with slightly different phrasing compared to 1985. The word “about” was replaced by “of” and “would” was changed to “could”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[3]

It is my greatest wish to give you all the love you could ever need. If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden. Happy Valentine’s Day!

In 1990 a Valentine’s note was printed in “The Post Standard” of Syracuse, New York. Once again no attribution was provided:[4]

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. My teepee is empty when you are gone

In May 1992 an illuminating instance was printed in a Rockmart, Georgia newspaper. The paper described the contents of an annual publication called “The Sting” which was created by the local Middle School. A section of memories included the verse and identified the author as Claudia Adrienne Grandi. This was the earliest ascription known to QI:[5]

A special remembrance was given to Joey Watts with a poem which read: “If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden” written by Claudia Adrienne Grandi.

The evocative poems of Grandi have appeared in several collections published by “Blue Mountain Arts” which is a popular greeting card company. QI believes Grandi is the most likely originator of this verse, and Tennyson should not be credited.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Start the violin.... I've never had a first message from a woman! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sorry I took so long. I was naughty.

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By *outhwest_shoesellerWoman
over a year ago

North Somerset

I have written something which might be of interest to this topic

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1255455

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What works for you either receiving or sending?

What gets a reply? "

None !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" this is aQI question, not the Stephen Fry/Sandi Toksvik, but Asite called Quote investigator...

Quote Investigator: QI has located no substantive support for crediting the famous poet Alfred Lord Tennyson with this expression.

The earliest evidence of a close match found by QI was printed in an advertising section of a Santa Ana, California newspaper on Valentine’s Day in 1985. The section contained messages expressing love, and one item was addressed to Theresa from Steve:[2]

IF I HAD A SINGLE FLOWER FOR EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT YOU I WOULD WALK FOREVER IN MY GARDEN.

The phrasing of this instance differed somewhat from the most common modern version. For example, this poem referred to “a single flower” instead of “a flower”; also, the position of the word “forever” was shifted. No attribution was listed.

In subsequent years, instances of the poem appeared as a Valentine’s Day message in other newspapers. For example, in 1989 the European edition of “The Stars and Stripes” for the U.S. Armed Forces included an item with slightly different phrasing compared to 1985. The word “about” was replaced by “of” and “would” was changed to “could”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[3]

It is my greatest wish to give you all the love you could ever need. If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden. Happy Valentine’s Day!

In 1990 a Valentine’s note was printed in “The Post Standard” of Syracuse, New York. Once again no attribution was provided:[4]

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. My teepee is empty when you are gone

In May 1992 an illuminating instance was printed in a Rockmart, Georgia newspaper. The paper described the contents of an annual publication called “The Sting” which was created by the local Middle School. A section of memories included the verse and identified the author as Claudia Adrienne Grandi. This was the earliest ascription known to QI:[5]

A special remembrance was given to Joey Watts with a poem which read: “If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden” written by Claudia Adrienne Grandi.

The evocative poems of Grandi have appeared in several collections published by “Blue Mountain Arts” which is a popular greeting card company. QI believes Grandi is the most likely originator of this verse, and Tennyson should not be credited."

I've read it through twice and I can't find FAF in there?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What works for you either receiving or sending?

What gets a reply?

None ! "

Perhaps you may need to ask for profile advice?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Madam, pray permit me to compliment you on thy astounding beauty! Verily, seldom hath my eyes feasted upon such a fair maiden as thyself!

…..Doth thou fancy’eth a fuck’eth?’

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

“You brought the yin we brought the big yang.

Lets make a big bang, get me rutting wild like a mustang“

Works like a charm every time I have used it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"‘Madam, pray permit me to compliment you on thy astounding beauty! Verily, seldom hath my eyes feasted upon such a fair maiden as thyself!

…..Doth thou fancy’eth a fuck’eth?’ "

I have long awaited thy silky words to mine thread!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have written something which might be of interest to this topic

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1255455"

I have read and commented!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"“You brought the yin we brought the big yang.

Lets make a big bang, get me rutting wild like a mustang“

Works like a charm every time I have used it"

And..how many times have you used it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ategoodbyeMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

I once mailed a couple to say that the lady looked like Servalan from Blake’s 7. I’m a child of the eighties and it was meant entirely as a complement.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I once mailed a couple to say that the lady looked like Servalan from Blake’s 7. I’m a child of the eighties and it was meant entirely as a complement."

I'm wheezing at that

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I was reading the opening lines from some novels. This was the opening line from Lolita.

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins".

Too much?

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By *ategoodbyeMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I once mailed a couple to say that the lady looked like Servalan from Blake’s 7. I’m a child of the eighties and it was meant entirely as a complement.

I'm wheezing at that "

I still have an erection whenever I see a pair of shoulder pads.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was reading the opening lines from some novels. This was the opening line from Lolita.

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins".

Too much? "

Well that particular line is aimed at a 12 yo so not sure it's the best choice...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I once mailed a couple to say that the lady looked like Servalan from Blake’s 7. I’m a child of the eighties and it was meant entirely as a complement.

I'm wheezing at that

I still have an erection whenever I see a pair of shoulder pads."

Nothing says sexy like Servalan and shoulder pads

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I was reading the opening lines from some novels. This was the opening line from Lolita.

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins".

Too much?

Well that particular line is aimed at a 12 yo so not sure it's the best choice..."

Of course not. I did not know that. I was just looking at a list of opening lines from novels.

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By *ategoodbyeMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I was reading the opening lines from some novels. This was the opening line from Lolita.

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins".

Too much?

Well that particular line is aimed at a 12 yo so not sure it's the best choice...

Of course not. I did not know that. I was just looking at a list of opening lines from novels.

"

How about: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a fab account must be in want of a good cocking.”

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was reading the opening lines from some novels. This was the opening line from Lolita.

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins".

Too much?

Well that particular line is aimed at a 12 yo so not sure it's the best choice...

Of course not. I did not know that. I was just looking at a list of opening lines from novels.

How about: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a fab account must be in want of a good cocking.”"

Yeah that one works a bit better

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I was reading the opening lines from some novels. This was the opening line from Lolita.

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins".

Too much?

Well that particular line is aimed at a 12 yo so not sure it's the best choice...

Of course not. I did not know that. I was just looking at a list of opening lines from novels.

"

And just to add, I just googled after your comment and certainly not something I was aware off and wish there was a button to delete a comment from here but thanks for pointing it out. I should not have just looked at the list of opening lines from novels but check it out first.My apologies as obviously that line is associated with a very controversial novel and I did not know that till now.

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