FabSwingers.com forum: How do you know when you're getting old?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This discussion started at a motorbike rally campfire during a rare weekend we weren't all under lockdown. As I am getting old, I can't remember all the comments, but I thought I'd start it off here as it was amusing, to say the least (though I was very very d*unk so just about anything was amusing at that point):

1) It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.

2) You dream of a cup of tea and a slice of cake, not a pint.

Feel free to add your own!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can’t be bothered with people’s random BS!

Patience runs real thin x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

When you go to the doctor with an issue and he tells you that your problem is common for older people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem to grow hair out of places you’d never seen hair before.

My fucking ears are a nightmare to keep hair free these days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you go to the doctor with an issue and he tells you that your problem is common for older people

That's if I remembered what I went there for in the first place

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You eye up bikes more for comfy saddle than looks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The feeling I got when I put on my new baffies not so long ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

You start making weird noises when you need to stand up or sit down, and your body cracks more than a pepper mill

LvM

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Doctors and police people and teachers look like teenagers x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

You start to value people for their personality and intelligence over their looks.

Marks and Spencer’s clothes start to look good and actually fit you well.

Having a bit of a tummy is fine and your partner agrees.

You are able to laugh at yourself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys in their 40s tell me they want an older woman!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"You start making weird noises when you need to stand up or sit down, and your body cracks more than a pepper mill

LvM"

When young whipper snappers say they are old

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Depends, used to be when you start drawing your pension but lots of pensioners can put younger people to shame these days. Its a cliche but it's true - you are as old as you feel - so live your life and forget your age

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

You find yourself having to buy more bereavement cards and less birthday ones.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

On your 20th birthday you go clubbing

On your 30th birthday you just go to the pub but stay out late

On your 35th birthday you go to the pub but want to in bed by 11:30 pm

On your 45th birthday you just want to go out for Sunday lunch

Just wanting Sunday lunch shows you are getting old ....lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

"On your 20th birthday you go clubbing

On your 30th birthday you just go to the pub but stay out late

On your 35th birthday you go to the pub but want to in bed by 11:30 pm

On your 45th birthday you just want to go out for Sunday lunch

Just wanting Sunday lunch shows you are getting old ....lol"

This is so true !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Depends, used to be when you start drawing your pension but lots of pensioners can put younger people to shame these days. Its a cliche but it's true - you are as old as you feel - so live your life and forget your age

16 months and I can draw my pension not like I'm counting down or anything!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The doctor has to finger your arse in a none sexual manner

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I'd rather slob out on the sofa than make an effort and meet someone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heirry84Man
over a year ago

Midlands

When all new music sounds like someone using the toilet... No reference to South Park

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

16 months and I can draw my pension not like I'm counting down or anything!

Well, enjoy. I am sure you worked hard for it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heirry84Man
over a year ago

Midlands

"The doctor has to finger your arse in a none sexual manner "

I wonder how much for them to do it in a sexual manner?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The doctor has to finger your arse in a none sexual manner

I wonder how much for them to do it in a sexual manner? "

Well it costs me £80 just for a doctors signature so I imagine pretty pricey

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uv2kissMan
over a year ago

fenland

When you buy a 40th birthday card for your son

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t be bothered with people’s random BS!

Patience runs real thin x "

Definitely this

When I was young, I wouldn’t say a word, I’d tolerate bullshit and be a real people pleaser.

Not anymore. I’m quite blunt and my happiness comes first always

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

When you receive messages from guys and then realise you're probably older than their parents!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The one I remember from the campfire was:

When you have more divorces than dogs.

My mates are b@st@rds, the lot of them...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any type of movement hurts and usually involves some kind of groaning..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

You prefer biscuits to chocolate and wear bedsocks in bed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

When you contribute to this thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you receive messages from guys and then realise you're probably older than their parents! "

Exactly, I’m telling 30 year olds that they are too young for me! God I’m old

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel like if I ever wanted to wear pyjamas to bed, that’s when I’d know.

Hangovers seem far longer too, even if I drink less than the younger years

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you start complaining of the dark winter days. Start worrying about clothes for warmth rather than look.

When you start looking at a cars fuel economy rather than top speed or acceleration figures.

When you stop finding people older than you attractive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"On your 20th birthday you go clubbing

On your 30th birthday you just go to the pub but stay out late

On your 35th birthday you go to the pub but want to in bed by 11:30 pm

On your 45th birthday you just want to go out for Sunday lunch

Just wanting Sunday lunch shows you are getting old ....lol"

This made me laugh but I’m the opposite ….

18th I was sober and the parents were d*unk, I put them to bed with a bucket

21st admittedly lasted a month

30th went out for a meal

31st was out for 36 hours, drinking, eating & dancing.

40th went out for lunch but 41st I rolled in at 3am two nights later

49th went for lunch which tuned into a 6am finish, up next day for round two

51st will be similar to 49th

My mates say I’m getting younger as I get older

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"When you contribute to this thread

And have to put your reading glasses on to do it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

When your arm isn’t long enough to read a menu, realisation you need glasses

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You're comfortable in your own skin, you appreciate quality and the small pleasures in life, you don't give a twopenny damn what strangers think of you and you have a very finely honed bull shit detector.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

"When your arm isn’t long enough to read a menu, realisation you need glasses "

Thank fuck I’m not the only one to do this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you contribute to this thread

And have to put your reading glasses on to do it!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You seem to grow hair out of places you’d never seen hair before.

My fucking ears are a nightmare to keep hair free these days."

Thank God I ain't the only one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When watching antiques roadshow which in its self makes you old but remember buying the item new

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atie-friendlyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheltenham

You realise the 90's were 30 years ago not just the other day.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On Fab- your inbox goes quiet!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

When a young guy talks to you in a bar it's to get advice about his girlfriend of what to buy his mum for Christmas

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the doctor says sorry,there's nothing more I can do to fix your knee/back (insert appropriate body part!!)..its wear and tear!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You…..you, erm, hmmm? What was I about to say. I’ll go out and come in again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *angerous123Man
over a year ago

Leeds

When you care less and less about what people think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your bollocks dip into the water as you sit for a shit…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On your 20th birthday you go clubbing

On your 30th birthday you just go to the pub but stay out late

On your 35th birthday you go to the pub but want to in bed by 11:30 pm

On your 45th birthday you just want to go out for Sunday lunch

Just wanting Sunday lunch shows you are getting old ....lol

This is so true !

I want a Sunday lunch all the time lately

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you go for a pee everytime you pass a loo just incase

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When watching antiques roadshow which in its self makes you old but remember buying the item new "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

You see massive boobs and think that they'd be comfortable.

Your little one mimics the noises you make getting off the sofa.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

The videogame consoles you played are now classed as vintage classics .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

When you watch a documentary about Brian Clough and the Nottingham Forest side that won its first European Cup in 1980 and you can name every player even though you don't support them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my "looked at you today" number dropped by 80%

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes two days to recover from a heavy day/night session.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

When you're listening to the radio and you realise that the 80's was more than a few years ago.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you ache in the morning just from sleeping in a different position during the night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When even men stop messaging me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When even men stop messaging me. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you look at police officers and they all in your kids age

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

"On your 20th birthday you go clubbing

On your 30th birthday you just go to the pub but stay out late

On your 35th birthday you go to the pub but want to in bed by 11:30 pm

On your 45th birthday you just want to go out for Sunday lunch

Just wanting Sunday lunch shows you are getting old ....lol

This made me laugh but I’m the opposite ….

18th I was sober and the parents were d*unk, I put them to bed with a bucket

21st admittedly lasted a month

30th went out for a meal

31st was out for 36 hours, drinking, eating & dancing.

40th went out for lunch but 41st I rolled in at 3am two nights later

49th went for lunch which tuned into a 6am finish, up next day for round two

51st will be similar to 49th

My mates say I’m getting younger as I get older

Age is nothing but a number

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

My knees hate me after climbing 4 flights of stairs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

My eyesight has gone to seed. I have to use binoculars to read small print these days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My eyesight has gone to seed. I have to use binoculars to read small print these days.

So that's why you insist cock pics are of erect and not flaccid penises

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanting to visit music free pubs so you chat with friends, rather then shout.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"My eyesight has gone to seed. I have to use binoculars to read small print these days.

So that's why you insist cock pics are of erect and not flaccid penises

Yes, just be glad I don’t play darts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My eyesight has gone to seed. I have to use binoculars to read small print these days.

So that's why you insist cock pics are of erect and not flaccid penises

Yes, just be glad I don’t play darts

You can't beat a bit of Bully!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I'd rather slob out on the sofa than make an effort and meet someone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your kids go to bed later than you do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

When you are no longer able to guess the age of a under age drinker in a pub!

Also, when you stop caring!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

I have to walk down our narrow stairs sideways as I'm not sure my knees can take going down normally.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look in the mirror!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

More cracking than a bowl of rice krispies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atriciayoiditTV/TS
over a year ago

hatfield

"This discussion started at a motorbike rally campfire during a rare weekend we weren't all under lockdown. As I am getting old, I can't remember all the comments, but I thought I'd start it off here as it was amusing, to say the least (though I was very very d*unk so just about anything was amusing at that point):

1) It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.

2) You dream of a cup of tea and a slice of cake, not a pint.

Feel free to add your own!"
you start enjoying your life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2pblokeMan
over a year ago

Penrith, Cumbria

when you get referred to as a "Daddy" or a DILF

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

Getting up in the night to go for a pee

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you can't bend the same to shave your balls and arse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *utcock61Man
over a year ago

glasgow

lol,true.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your knees creek and crunch when your standing up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Getting up in the night to go for a pee

"
I go 3 or 4 tines now it's ridiculous

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *estmids71Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Looking for fur lined comfy warm slippers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Last of the summer wine makes you laugh. That's it. Your fucked.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

When your footwear of choice is a slipper with a back in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

When you get out of bed in the morning and sound like an old barn door creaking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Just when you realise you know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When Last of the summer wine makes you laugh. That's it. Your fucked.

Shoot me if that happens....please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you can’t get your head around the fact people you work with were born after 2000

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your knees crack in the morning and last thing at night

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

You ask your kids to do things like set the new TV up. If you’re really old you ask them how to use it once it’s set up !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Bollocks. I FEEL about 85. Possibly 86. Perhaps I should look into funeral plans. Do you get free pens with them?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Not sure I'm still in my prime

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

When you get excited about your new tom and jerry pjs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

when your friends kids start driving cars

it happened to me, somebody I was at school with told me her daughter had a car... I was gobsmacked lol

where DOES the time go???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bollocks. I FEEL about 85. Possibly 86. Perhaps I should look into funeral plans. Do you get free pens with them? "

Michael Parkinson apparently gives free pens and a folder if you sign up with his crowd. Very fancy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you get cramp during a good sex session. It's really not good, but very funny.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

When the nurse in the waiting room says........ 'Come along young lady' ... when it's your appt time.

I SWEAR that before long you will read a headline about a serial killer O.A.P.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When talking to someone at a nightclub or any 18+ event and they say the year they were born is 2000 and…

I know I’m not old but that one hits different

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

ALSO ! ALSO! When someone mentioned Gen Zee and I thought ........fuck me the millenials are old now ...... I'm just ancient! ( but not in my head )

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

In the kitchen cooking…. Trying to read cooking instructions and can’t find glasses (again)

So have to resort to using the camera on my phone to enlarge the size of the writing on the packet!

Ffs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

When you're discussing dental treatment options and he says "that is what I would recommend for my mum..."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"When you're discussing dental treatment options and he says "that is what I would recommend for my mum...""

Do NOT .... just Do NOT ......

My dentist said ...... If you were my mum I would say the same.....

I thought he was the only dickhead dentist on the planet ! Now you've got one.

Dentist training school ???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Also…. Increasing font size on messages

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"When you're discussing dental treatment options and he says "that is what I would recommend for my mum..."

Do NOT .... just Do NOT ......

My dentist said ...... If you were my mum I would say the same.....

I thought he was the only dickhead dentist on the planet ! Now you've got one.

Dentist training school ???"

Yerz... I wanted to punch him in the teeth... Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you start enjoying Great British railway journeys with Michael Portillo.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"When you start enjoying Great British railway journeys with Michael Portillo."

OMG, the European, Asian and Australian ones are even better... Err... so my aunt tells me ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

When watching porn and you think .... hmmm, that bed looks really comfy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"When watching porn and you think .... hmmm, that bed looks really comfy"

Pmsl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

And the 3 rules for growing old.

(1)never pass a toilet.

(2) never waste a hard on

(3) never trust a fart

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"When you start enjoying Great British railway journeys with Michael Portillo.

OMG, the European, Asian and Australian ones are even better... Err... so my aunt tells me ..."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When taking your jeans off becomes hard work...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

When you start ringing round for Stairlift quotes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oonshadowWoman
over a year ago

COVENTRY

When all you want is a pair of big pants

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when you show your grandkids a record player / vinyl record and they ask what the fucks that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you sing along to a song then realise it's 50 years old !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you work with people who have never known a world without wifi

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you remember using a phone box to make a call.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"When your arm isn’t long enough to read a menu, realisation you need glasses "

My husband laughs at me, I wear glasses for distance (anything over 10/12 inches is distance), when I'm reading I now have to look over the top of my glasses as I don't need reading glasses but my eye can't adjust to reading through my glasses...

Apparently varifocals are in my not too distant future

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When going to bed early is an exciting evening..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Wanting to visit music free pubs so you chat with friends, rather then shout. "

Yep that's my stage of life... quiet local pub with real ale,

Oh and getting a CAMRA membership

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

When you go from simply falling over to having "had a fall".

Mr Hayes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

When that little yellow message inbox hardly ever lights up on here. And filters exclude you 90% of the time!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

When cutting your own toenails needs careful planning.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you have to watch ITV4 or GOLD to remember when your clothes were trendy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you go upstairs to do something and can’t remember what it was when you get there…..

Growing old is inevitable - acting your age is optional ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As said before making the "umpphh" noise when you try and get up, or an "aaaahhhh" when you sit down.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

When I was 55 I received some junk mail advertising 'senior living apartments', one of the selling points was a relaxing communal living room with a piano in it. I felt very old....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *al01Man
over a year ago

solihull

Everything hurts !!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

When I have reading glasses in pretty much every room in the house!

Need them to read now,and never know where they are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ev257Man
over a year ago

cardiff

You know when you're getting old when it takes you all night long to do what you use to do all night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"When I have reading glasses in pretty much every room in the house!

Need them to read now,and never know where they are"

I do this too. But still end up using my phone to photograph labels I’m supermarkets so I can then zoom in and read them because I forgot to put glasses in my bag!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

When the Funeral Plan leaflets come through the letter box

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it takes you 5 minutes to get back up off your knees when you tried to do that spare of the moment seductive blowjob

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

When cramp sets in midway through play

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the max age on profiles is 10 years less than your age.

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting up on the night for a wee

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"When cramp sets in midway through play

The more I read, the more I believe I'm old before my time. My hip has attempted to dislocate then cramps up during sex since pretty much forever

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't seem to get up without saying 'aw my back'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Not bothered about staying in Friday/Saturday nights.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"When I have reading glasses in pretty much every room in the house!

Need them to read now,and never know where they are

I do this too. But still end up using my phone to photograph labels I’m supermarkets so I can then zoom in and read them because I forgot to put glasses in my bag!

Me too!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Having to wear glasses when :

Shopping

Using phone

Using computer

Reading the backs of food in pica 8 or than.

Restaurant menus

Bloody 'ell it's endless.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucksguy2000Man
over a year ago

aylesbury

When your children keep mentioning Care Homes lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"When you go from simply falling over to having "had a fall".

Mr Hayes. "

And everyone panics rather than laughs when you do it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the TV is always too loud

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you ache getting out of bed lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atriciayoiditTV/TS
over a year ago

hatfield

1) It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.

2) You dream of a cup of tea and a slice of cake, not a pint.

Feel free to add your own!"
sorry..i cant hear what you have written...speak up...where ever you are...??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

When you wake up in the morning , go to get out of bed and realise your body is aching more than it was when you went to bed!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rucking-HellMan
over a year ago

Northampton

I was in a pub in Leicester on Boxing night, and the young bartender wandered through the pub wearing a chunky knit cardigan, and my first thought was "Cor! That's a nice cardigan".

I stunned myself with that one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

"And the 3 rules for growing old.

(1)never pass a toilet.

(2) never waste a hard on

(3) never trust a fart"
I think Jack Nicholson was quoted as saying that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

"You ask your kids to do things like set the new TV up. If you’re really old you ask them how to use it once it’s set up !

"
mine gave me grief when I asked how to use it..I reminded him,,, I taught him how to use a spoon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ollbiMan
over a year ago

newcastle

When an old lady offers her seat on the bus.mortifying.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I wouldn’t know myself, but just ask Granny Crumpet, she has inside information on oldies stuff.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my ear hair grows faster than the hair on my head

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erry bull1Man
over a year ago

doncaster

When your dreams are dry

And your farts are wet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you’re listen to the radio and hear remixes of club classics from the 90s with ‘youngsters’ making out its new

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

"You're comfortable in your own skin, you appreciate quality and the small pleasures in life, you don't give a twopenny damn what strangers think of you and you have a very finely honed bull shit detector.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aramel.desiresMan
over a year ago

London

When you have a long handle shoe horn at the front door.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago

harwich

most of what ive read here is middle aged angst when your old you wake up one morning and know your old unfortunately your body forgot to tell your brain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bsolutley FabMan
over a year ago

Fareham

When you realise you should be on “Flab Swingers” and not Fabswingers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oonshadowWoman
over a year ago

COVENTRY

When you love the Bee Gees. I love them now, I never used to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

You touch up the side burns with Just for Men, so you don't go unnoticed in supermarkets, and you go to Holland and Barrett for zinc tablets to ensure that seminal fluid production remains at capacity levels for your next intimate encounter.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

You continuously go around turning lights off that others have left on! Come to think of it thats not a sign of getting old but a sign of common sense!(same thing really)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I've been attempting to grow a beard (ok so I'm too lazy to shave recently) & it's a combination of grey, brown & ginger. More grey than anything

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You respond to threads like this...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

As a man, you start to develop evil wizard eyebrows….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ategoodbyeMan
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

When you have to decide just how much hair you’l let yourself lose before just shaving the rest off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By back hurts from scrolling.

Not in the ‘Israelite editable documentation sense of the word’, although that would make you old too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evoncplCouple
over a year ago

holsworthy

When you cum and it doesn't shoot very far let alone hit your own face ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reasyontheeyesMan
over a year ago

out in the sticks

"When you cum and it doesn't shoot very far let alone hit your own face ??"

Do you think so?

I can still fire one over my shoulder at times.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread