FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Has fab boosted your confidence?

Jump to newest
 

By *he love cats OP   Couple
over a year ago

South Wales

Were you a person lacking in confidence before you joined fab? Has fab helped you to gain this confidence?

OR

Was you a confident person before you joined fab and have lost confidence through not getting meets and getting let down etc?

Suppose it's a bit of both for ourselves and probably not so straight forward in a couple's relationship. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has been a confidence booster for me. Or it certainly hasn’t done my confidence any harm

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women. "

Agreed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a little more than before. I’m not overly confident or indeed lacking in it, pretty normal levels of adequacy in that department, but definitely feel more confident than say, this time last year. Of course, Fab is only part of that and only been here a few months (but similar places prior to that).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

It certainly has, especially when we started visiting clubs and realised there was so many different shapes and sizes for males and females which was great

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Yes there is things I've shared here that I would have only shared in private before. Maybe I'm just caring less and less as I get older but you will never please everyone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most definitely the latter.

I do pretty well in the real world or on tinder with women, but it's impossible to even get a reply on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sooooo many people on here are gorgeous, and have banging bodies and personalities.

I think you are all worthy of feeling confident x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. It's a little up and down.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Yes and no.

It has boosted my confidence in some ways, mostly the more "superficial" ways.

But it did smash any confidence I had in my decision making and choices.

That's changing again now. My confidence is something that is changing all the time, and hopefully it will be more steps forward than back.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made no difference

I'm still as attractive as I thought I was

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has evolved it, am not as arrogant as I was before

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most definitely the latter.

I do pretty well in the real world or on tinder with women, but it's impossible to even get a reply on here. "

That’s really hard, but I get the impression it’s a numbers game rather than something to be taken personally. Easy for a woman to say, I know x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Body confidence is improved because I think all sorts of bodies are appreciated here. It's very body positive.

Confidence in my choices - way down.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hasn't increased my confidence, nor has it decreased. There's more women here that suit my preferences in a lover/partner/Feb then any other platform I've found,so I take advantage of that. If women didn't take to me, it's their preference which I respect, and I certainly wouldn't let it effect me or my confidence going forward.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.

Real world friends are golden.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had and still have no confidence and low self esteem.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I’ve never really lacked confidence in the first place, but yes, Fab has definitely given me a big boost.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.

Real world friends are golden. "

Don't care what you look like, woman! You're ace. Just read your profile again for a giggle.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.

Real world friends are golden. "

You're flipping awesome, woman.

Real world friends are golden. And they can come from here as well.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

That’s really hard, but I get the impression it’s a numbers game rather than something to be taken personally. Easy for a woman to say, I know x"

Yeah true,

I'm beginning to think it might be an area thing too. I seem to get much better success the further from central London I am.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rooperRedMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

Probably at first it totally ruined it. Now I'm past caring and treat it as for novelty purposes only. Can't get a date here or in the real world so what's the difference?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *astpoetMan
over a year ago

where the world takes me

It’s more nuanced than boosting or hurting your confidence for me. If I were to go by replies or messages I’d be a broken man.

Fab is unforgiving and my kinks are niche and my taste fussy, so my success rate is low. What I’ve learnt though is that that’s due to me not others and whilst it’s hard it’s not personal (I hope).

On the flip side my confidence in me, in knowing myself better and in not being scared to be who I am is at an all time high, and I think Fab is a big part of that. It taught me to try things I’d thought about and not be ashamed or worry what others thought.

So long story short, I now know more people don’t want to sleep with me than I ever thought but I’m happy in knowing that if I do find someone I can play in more honest and kinky ways than I ever expected.

Anyway back to the rejections

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincessPuddleDuck22Woman
over a year ago

.•°°

Yes 110% but not just confidence with how I look but my preferences and kinks too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asques and boxersCouple
over a year ago

Ashford and dept16

Basque has found her true self worth its been lovely to see her explore and enjoy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It boosted my confidence greatly, it was non existent before

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urious_couple_ukCouple
over a year ago

South Cambs


"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women. "

This.

Shocked by How many men don't mind a few curves. But definitely boosted my confidence which in turn makes for much better sex all round

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asques and boxersCouple
over a year ago

Ashford and dept16

[Removed by poster at 04/01/22 11:24:57]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope not at all other things did don’t really want to say as it comes off as quite arrgent

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I've always been a confident person but learning about ghosters and benchers the hard way did knock the wind out of my sails a little

So I am a lot more guarded about who I let in now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.

Real world friends are golden. "

You are amazing, who cares what gets the most clicks you much more fun!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enm83Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Didn't really get confidence off here until my first meet, and then it moved up another level after my first club visit. It's a gradual process

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab as to a certain extent but swinging and clubs have. Feel I lot more body confident now. Plus are sex life as gone through the roof

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.

"

It's not a competition. No woman on here should be competing with another nor made to feel like they're somehow lesser. People like different things at the same time and our appearance can only carry us so far. This idea that women need to compete against each other is damaging, untrue and unkind.

Look at the women on this thread - we're all very different whether that's our age, skin colour, hair colour, body size, shape.... you get the idea. We're all in our lane, cruising along doing our own thing - it's not a race.

You are worthwhile Outsider. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

After any social or successful meet, we end up with a ridiculously high opinion of ourselves.

It’s really worked well!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rooperRedMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton


"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.

It's not a competition. No woman on here should be competing with another nor made to feel like they're somehow lesser. People like different things at the same time and our appearance can only carry us so far. This idea that women need to compete against each other is damaging, untrue and unkind.

Look at the women on this thread - we're all very different whether that's our age, skin colour, hair colour, body size, shape.... you get the idea. We're all in our lane, cruising along doing our own thing - it's not a race.

You are worthwhile Outsider. x"

It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eadinthecloudsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

It's been a bit of a confidence roller coaster

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?"

No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.

I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It certainly reduced mine, the amount of profiles which are only looking for big cock, 9 inches plus, BBC, must have 6 pack, no bald heads, must be over 6ft etc is pretty hard for the average bloke.

I understand it though, there's about 25 men to every woman so why not be picky?

I've learned to not take fab so seriously and remember it's not the real world on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eardedman7Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Not yet but it’s slowly getting there.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A little

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enm83Man
over a year ago

Stockport


"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?

No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.

I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win"."

Well said Meli. My first visit to Cupids I was so apprehensive about dressing down amongst nicely sculptured men, but instead I found it to be a most diverse, happy bunch where any body shape, size and colour was welcomed. And you don't get that on a dating site or generic nightclub.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has been fantastic for me..especially seeing myself through the eyes of people I've met. It has really helped me to accept /embrace what I have and whilst there are parts of me that i will always be self conscious about, i am much easier in my own skin and able to observe with less harmful triggering thoughts

The other thing that has been amazing for me is seeing the breadth and shape and sheer variety of bodies and bits etc, female and male.. I've learnt there is no perfect, there is just ooooo, or ohhhh and mmmmm yes please I'd like some of that on me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really, I'm still a bundle of self doubt, I can just hide it well at times

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Not really, I'm still a bundle of self doubt, I can just hide it well at times "

You look incredible always in my eyes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rooperRedMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton


"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?

No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.

I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win"."

I'm afraid our experiences vary here. What makes these men successful then? A winning personality? I've read enough veris and looked at enough male profiles to see who is getting it, and to debunk a common myth, it's not because of socials.

It's also not because they write better replies, because the mails I write are each unique and verbose. It's not looks because I'm actually quite decent looking. It's not great profiles because there are some one liners. I've cut mine down because there wasn't any point. It's not a shitty attitude because this is just how I see it. I can't do the social scene because I'm a single guy and about as welcome as a rabid badger (I did a swinger's party years ago and it was terrible, treated like a leper was an understatement, people visibly just turning their backs to me).

So you end up with a small group at the top with thirty odd veris, contacts, etc., and then the rest of us. It's unfortunate but that is the reality for the vast, vast, majority of men on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still have a lot of self doubt but I have to say that I have felt more sexy and more desirable since joining fab and meeting with some amazing guys on here x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustyshowoffCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

It was certainly a confidence booster for me. When you get positive comments and messages it makes you feel better about yourself.

Jxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Not really, I've found the confidence gained can easily be taken away on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really. Over time I have learned I may be fuckable, but not loveable.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

In some ways it's increased my confidence. Some days I feel that I've taken a knock. Definitely starting to think that my age is against me and that I'm running out of time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Not at all, I’m very aware that people will say all kinds of nice things when they’re trying to get a meet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it definitely can help boost it, especially if you’ve uploaded a photo and it gets a few fabs definitely can make a difference

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

Its made me start to realise that some people might find me attractive/sexy, which is something I struggle to believe. I'm trying to accept that maybe what I see in the mirror and what others see (in relation to appearance) are not the same

MJ x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not really. Over time I have learned I may be fuckable, but not loveable."

I'm pinching this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.

It's not a competition. No woman on here should be competing with another nor made to feel like they're somehow lesser. People like different things at the same time and our appearance can only carry us so far. This idea that women need to compete against each other is damaging, untrue and unkind.

Look at the women on this thread - we're all very different whether that's our age, skin colour, hair colour, body size, shape.... you get the idea. We're all in our lane, cruising along doing our own thing - it's not a race.

You are worthwhile Outsider. x"

It is a difficult mindset to get out of, with prolific picture posting and FABing, attention, many other factors intentional or unintentional. Make you feel like you can't compete, and that what eats away at your confidence. It is a diminishing circle of confidence.

For me now I have managed to get out of that mindset with help, I know what it is like to be there. Im in a good place now but it was tough to get here.

The thing I learned was to change the perception I had of myself, and what I "really wanted". To get there, was to change the little things, not try to change the whole in one go.

Ended up looking at myself as a completely different person and I liked it, broke the mind set. In the end the only person I was in completion with, was with myself.

Words are easy hard part is the doing, Hope there is food for thought there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

It really hasn't made any difference, I've always been confident and comfortable with myself. Sure, all the fabs and nice comments are an ego boost, but I do take them with a pinch of salt...I'm not perfect, nobody is, and whilst I wasn't hit too hard with the ugly stick, I also have plenty of jiggly bits. In my humble opinion looks can only get you so far...personality, attitude and mindset are what really count.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *di086Man
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Were you a person lacking in confidence before you joined fab? Has fab helped you to gain this confidence?

OR

Was you a confident person before you joined fab and have lost confidence through not getting meets and getting let down etc?

Suppose it's a bit of both for ourselves and probably not so straight forward in a couple's relationship. X"

I've been quiet shy at the 1rst time irl yet while being on this site it's been even worse... As we mens are bombarding womens here with messages starting with like 1liners - they (womens) are tracting now each account with man in it as a piece of ... While they do have blank profile and demanding entire elaborate in 1rst message so overall forever and ever alone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inAndTonic21Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

Definitely boosted my confidence and agree with other comments that all shapes and sizes are viewed as sexy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

For sure yes! Have allways been confident in general but not so much sexually and being here has deffo improved that 100% x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had lost my confidence completely as I was in a relationship where I wasn't desired at all and joined fab after another app.

Have to say it has boosted my confidence a great deal. Reactions to my pics on my single profile when I had it, the reactions of forumites and the meets I had, not that there was a huge number, it all as a collective helped me. My first meet off the app before fab did wonders for my confidence. I'm actually quite grateful for that.

PW

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'd say it's mostly the same. It can sometimes knock my confidence but then I change how I approach it or even take a break.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has fab boosted my confidence?

Yes and no. I didn't necessarily need a confidence boost, I'm in a loving relationship and I know I'm 'sorta alright' but I appreciate when others appreciate me/my pictures/videos. So thanks to each and every one of you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made no difference to me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ammerofgodsMan
over a year ago

Whitehaven

Tbh its done the opposite for me completely deflating.. feel like im doing somthing wrong .

Still looking for somewhere to belong

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100%… I’ve been working hard on myself last year and due to my body completely changing it gave me the courage to take the plunge into Fab…Always felt like physically nobody would look twice at me now I feel as confident as I’ve ever felt!

N.x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ammerofgodsMan
over a year ago

Whitehaven


"100%… I’ve been working hard on myself last year and due to my body completely changing it gave me the courage to take the plunge into Fab…Always felt like physically nobody would look twice at me now I feel as confident as I’ve ever felt!

N.x"

You look fantastic for it too gorgeous

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….

Yes it has boosted my confidence I was a size 22 when I first came on here… been on and off over the years…. But now I’m a size 10. Not that I’m an hotphotos queen or get high numbers but the fabs certainly boosted my confidence and helped with my weight loss journey….

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes it has boosted my confidence I was a size 22 when I first came on here… been on and off over the years…. But now I’m a size 10. Not that I’m an hotphotos queen or get high numbers but the fabs certainly boosted my confidence and helped with my weight loss journey…. "

Well done lovely!xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nah Fab smashed my confidence. I can't compete with any of the women on here, hence no worthwhile pics.

It's not a competition. No woman on here should be competing with another nor made to feel like they're somehow lesser. People like different things at the same time and our appearance can only carry us so far. This idea that women need to compete against each other is damaging, untrue and unkind.

Look at the women on this thread - we're all very different whether that's our age, skin colour, hair colour, body size, shape.... you get the idea. We're all in our lane, cruising along doing our own thing - it's not a race.

You are worthwhile Outsider. x"

Compete is the wrong word. 'Participate' is probably better. I don't see it as a competition.

Hence my profile name...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And thank you to the people who said nice things. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

It did, now it doesn’t. Strange world.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

It was a huge confidence boost initially, making me realize I was more attractive and appealing than I'd ever imagined. One of the positive aspects of my experience here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not boosted my confidence (because I’m confident as fuck, or ignorant, one of the two) but it has made me realise a lot of people lack a sense of humour and take life far too seriously, if you can’t laugh, joke and smile with people you’re going to bash bits with then what is even the point? I also do realise that “bash bits” is an elegant phrase, do feel free to borrow it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lirtyAndFunCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Massively. Before fab I'd only been with about 5 guys my while life.

Now we're taking photos & videos of me & sharing with others.

Having sex with strangers & buying sexy clothes just for meetups.

Best thing we have ever done

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I would say it has raised my confidence but lowered my self esteem, that probably doesn’t sound possible but that’s what I feel

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Far from it. It's made me question myself in a way no other site ever has. Thankfully real world interactions give me the little confidence boost I need to get back to myself again.

I've come to accept I'm not a good fit for this site and I won't find what I'm looking for here, and now I'm predominantly using it to find group socials and to pass the time when I'm in dull calls at work.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither one nor the other for me.

I wouldn’t say I was lacking in confidence before joining fab or that it has helped me gain any.

I think it’s great that fab can help people gain confidence and am all for that but totally get how it can do both - help gain but also lose that confidence. Which is not always only about the fab experience but other areas of your life and what you may be going through and feeling at the time.

So can be a double-edged sword in how the positive and negative experiences affect someone.

We are all different after all and don’t handle things in the same way.

Ignored messages, messages of rejection and let-downs might feel like nothing much when you are up but when you are down, they can make you feel like ****

I have used forums since I was young(er) - handbag.com was the first.

I am a fan of them for seeing other people’s thoughts, opinions, having a sounding board, etc. Not everyone has people in their life they can feel comfortable asking and discussing certain things.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab has never been a confidence building exercise.

People have always said I have a confident personality, which I somewhat disagree with.

I think most of us see ourselves differently to how others perceive us.

Nothing has changed since joining fab

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Neither.

I was a confident person before I joined FAB.

My FAB experience hasn't built or destroyed that confidence.

It is very much a learning experience though it you are open enough to allow it to be.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the lifestyle has helped my partner with her body confidence and a part of that is the attention she receives on fab.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

It definitely has for me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eddy004Man
over a year ago

Toy Town

Yeah I'm confident that dropping a message to someone with similar interests and having read through their profile and where requested attach a face pic will not result in any further conversation also confident that for the larger percentage of men on here there's a good proportion of men choosing to pose as women.............not too sure what they gain from this though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It reinforced it more than boosted.

I've never been very confident throughout my life despite having to be the rock that everyone else relied heavily on.

A combination of health issues, circumstances and a new determination allowed me to look differently at myself just before turning 50 and I realised I wasn't invisible after all.

I found fab a couple of years later and in general it has been a positive experience.

I don't follow trends in here and am confident in my own approach.

There are younger, fitter, better looking, better endowed guys on here but I'm not competing with any of them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. I'm still not very confident.

I take everything on here with a big pinch of salt

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Although I consider myself to be unimpressionable - Fab has, to some extent, given me a subtle uplift to my confidence. I've remained true to myself, gained a few friends and refined my profile for my own simple pleasure. I'm not here to measure up to anyone else.

Fab has given me a conduit to explore my social side - wherever that may lead.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drag gave me confidence but it's a very asexual thing. Fab seemed like a way to give the me underneath it some focus and attention. Not been here long enough to say what it'll do for my self confidence (which is generally pretty high anyway).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nope. I'm still not very confident.

I take everything on here with a big pinch of salt"

My confidence goes up and down, one little thing can dent it.

I'm always thinking the worse

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women. "

Oh we most definitely do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

[Removed by poster at 04/01/22 18:38:26]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I think, on balance, I'm pretty confident. I know what I can offer, I know where my strengths lie, and I know what I'm not suitable for.

Using Fab is dispiriting because it shows me over and over that there doesn't seem to be a market for what I bring.

I don't know whether it's the way I look, or the way I write, or what, but there's clearly something wrong with me and I'm not connecting.

The sooner it's safe to go back to clubs the better, really.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset


". x

It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?"

That's so not true! I don't think any of the guys I've met have had a six pack and 8 inches. Not all women are looking for that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say it has a bit, confidence isn't exactly high for me. But it has been nice to have people say good things.... but then on the other hand, it's mainly men that fab my pics. So in my mind makes me feel less desirable to women, so confidence can take a knock sometimes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My confidence boosted FAB

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?

No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.

I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win".

I'm afraid our experiences vary here. What makes these men successful then? A winning personality? I've read enough veris and looked at enough male profiles to see who is getting it, and to debunk a common myth, it's not because of socials.

It's also not because they write better replies, because the mails I write are each unique and verbose. It's not looks because I'm actually quite decent looking. It's not great profiles because there are some one liners. I've cut mine down because there wasn't any point. It's not a shitty attitude because this is just how I see it. I can't do the social scene because I'm a single guy and about as welcome as a rabid badger (I did a swinger's party years ago and it was terrible, treated like a leper was an understatement, people visibly just turning their backs to me).

So you end up with a small group at the top with thirty odd veris, contacts, etc., and then the rest of us. It's unfortunate but that is the reality for the vast, vast, majority of men on here."

You only competing against yourself. I've got 8 years on you and didn't join here until I was 52 with virtually no experience.

This is my 4th profile in 5 years because I was out of my depth but I took advise, listened to others and I'm still here.

I had 30 veris on my last profile. 28 of those were from a fab social walking group.

I have quite a few veries on this profile and once again 95% are from socials.

I've had a total of 7 play meets in 5 years so I'm not prolific but I don't care. I'm having fun and enjoying it.

I don't whinge when things aren't going my way and anyone who knows me through messages or the forums know I certainly don't blow smoke up anyone's arse on here. Quite the opposite in fact. However the fact that I'm being me and not trying to compete let's people see that I'm genuine and not trying to be all things to all men or women.

I'm not in any elite group because of all of the above. I'm just being me.

I know my capabilities.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, not at all. If anything it's done the opposite.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eymarhdMan
over a year ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 04/01/22 19:41:25]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eymarhdMan
over a year ago

Bristol


". x

It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?

That's so not true! I don't think any of the guys I've met have had a six pack and 8 inches. Not all women are looking for that."

I cannot speak on behalf of any women and I’m glad you are of that nature, I wish to find someone like you on here but purely on observation, it appears you need to be an identical twin to either Idris Elba or Chris Hemsworth with a huge penis, as well as having learned the art of seduction from Casanova himself to be considered for a reply then to be within 3 neighbourhoods of the person you’re inviting for a meet. My confidence is unchanged on fab, if anyone I have more confidence of speaking/meeting people in clubs, venues etc.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rooperRedMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton


"It is a competition as far as men are concerned. You get roundly ignored and then check some veris and they're all guys with eight packs and packing eight inches, and you just feel like what's the bloody point?

No. They're not. Look, I can understand why that's your confirmation bias, you've probably seen it a few times. The most successful men on Fab that I've known have an eight pack in the fridge and aren't packing eight inches. And I've known (not in a biblical sense) many men during my time on Fab.

I get it's difficult for men on Fab, I can sympathize with that. I still don't see it as a competition but that might be because of my vagina privilege on here. I think if you have the mindset that it's a competition than you're naturally going to set yourself up to lose. If you see it as an additional supplement to an already happy life, enjoy the social scene and put yourself out there without feeling you need to compete, just be you, you'll probably "win".

I'm afraid our experiences vary here. What makes these men successful then? A winning personality? I've read enough veris and looked at enough male profiles to see who is getting it, and to debunk a common myth, it's not because of socials.

It's also not because they write better replies, because the mails I write are each unique and verbose. It's not looks because I'm actually quite decent looking. It's not great profiles because there are some one liners. I've cut mine down because there wasn't any point. It's not a shitty attitude because this is just how I see it. I can't do the social scene because I'm a single guy and about as welcome as a rabid badger (I did a swinger's party years ago and it was terrible, treated like a leper was an understatement, people visibly just turning their backs to me).

So you end up with a small group at the top with thirty odd veris, contacts, etc., and then the rest of us. It's unfortunate but that is the reality for the vast, vast, majority of men on here.

You only competing against yourself. I've got 8 years on you and didn't join here until I was 52 with virtually no experience.

This is my 4th profile in 5 years because I was out of my depth but I took advise, listened to others and I'm still here.

I had 30 veris on my last profile. 28 of those were from a fab social walking group.

I have quite a few veries on this profile and once again 95% are from socials.

I've had a total of 7 play meets in 5 years so I'm not prolific but I don't care. I'm having fun and enjoying it.

I don't whinge when things aren't going my way and anyone who knows me through messages or the forums know I certainly don't blow smoke up anyone's arse on here. Quite the opposite in fact. However the fact that I'm being me and not trying to compete let's people see that I'm genuine and not trying to be all things to all men or women.

I'm not in any elite group because of all of the above. I'm just being me.

I know my capabilities."

Well, good for you then.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

No

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Fab is the last place anyone should look in for confidence!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't say it's boosted my confidence but it's made me appreciate different aspects of myself that I hadn't considered before. Whilst you can dismiss one comment (good or bad) from a total stranger, if lots of folk say the same thing then maybe there's a grain of truth in it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *merald Eyes XWoman
over a year ago

Can you find me….


"Yes it has boosted my confidence I was a size 22 when I first came on here… been on and off over the years…. But now I’m a size 10. Not that I’m an hotphotos queen or get high numbers but the fabs certainly boosted my confidence and helped with my weight loss journey….

Well done lovely!xxx"

Thank you x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adbod7519Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Neither. I have a healthy level of self esteem anyway. I also self validate and so the number of likes my pics get means very little to me.

I work on things like my mental health, confidence and self esteem regularly which helps.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

It definitely has. It's done wonders for my self confidence and pushing me out of my comfort zone more often so I can work on those issues so yes, it definitely has done me some good

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uietly_KinkyMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Didn't have much to start with and it's taken a kicking.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women.

Agreed."

Seriously?? I thought this was a well known thing already?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It definitely has increased my confidence but I'm not naive. You can't take anything you read too seriously on here. From my previous profile I realised a lot of men on here just want to be watched whilst wanking on cam etc and don't even have the decency to say "thanks for that, bye" lol. Nevermind, learnt from it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fab is the last place anyone should look in for confidence! "

Worrrrddd

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I don’t know about confidence but I do like this alternative universe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women.

Agreed.

Seriously?? I thought this was a well known thing already? "

Nope. We're constantly told indirectly that we should be slim.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Not really as it was already sky high. This site just re-affirmed what I already knew

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Overall yes it has increased my confidence but it also can knock it quite easily too at any given moment.

Kx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not really as it was already sky high. This site just re-affirmed what I already knew "

Boom! You smooth devil you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No different but it has make me realise that a lot more men than I thought like curvy women.

Agreed.

Seriously?? I thought this was a well known thing already?

Nope. We're constantly told indirectly that we should be slim. "

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Definitely a double edged sword... some days it makes me feel fantastic, some days it makes me feel self conscious and shit about myself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Kettering


"Definitely a double edged sword... some days it makes me feel fantastic, some days it makes me feel self conscious and shit about myself "

I used to feel the same way if I received a negative response but now I'm more care free about it all. A complimentnor a fab on a pic does make you feel good even if you are having a bad day ( I remember getting one in 2011)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Yes I’ve met people and been involved in situations I never thought I could be in (sometimes literally)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wingersimonMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Getting involved in the swinging world (my involvement pre-dates Fab by more years than a I care to mention) has certainly helped with my confidence. Swinging put me in a lot of situations where I talked to new people. It made me better at ‘chit-chat’ and certainly made me more relaxed about speaking to and complimenting people. It helped with work a lot where I used to be very introverted and lacking In confidence.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most definitely knocks your confidence as a bloke that struggles to get reply never mind meets. You can't get verified cos people like you to be verified and that on its own is a bit of a nightmare. You can't do 1 without the other

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Yes it has helped me realise a lot more guys go for fat chicks than I realised.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought it might help me boost my confidence, but it gets lower by the day haha

:/

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s been a good confidence boost I needed at times x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *eanorWoman
over a year ago

?

Yes it has defiantly boosted my confidence, especially being a full bodied curvy women , and to be proud of them and not ashamed of them ,and finding men loving them lol xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top