FabSwingers.com forum: Stay or go

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do I stay or do I go?

Don't think this site is what it's meant to be, alot o people are rude on here I get that women get loads of mail every day but there is no need to be rude,

It's kinda clicky even on this feed you see that's its just the same people talking to eachother unless it's a hot guy or girl that messages,

I know I sound a bit stupid but I'm in 2 minds on what to do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you class as rude?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

Sounds like a song I know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get these vibes in Asda too

But i need to eat!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you class as rude?"

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

Rewrite your profile and lose the dick pics. Bit more humour.

Stick it out fella

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

If you stay, how so you see yourself dealing with the rude people and lack of any success in talking to people?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you class as rude?

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty "

You get replies so you're winning on that one!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rewrite your profile and lose the dick pics. Bit more humour.

Stick it out fella

He knows

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

"I get these vibes in Asda too

But i need to eat!!"

Lolzzzzz

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzibeth9Couple
over a year ago

Loughborough

Do what feels right to you really. I can't say as I agree with much of what you find wrong with Fab, even when I was using it as a single guy.

Absolutely it's hard to get meets as a single bloke here, but if you're desperate for a guaranteed shag, there's sites out there for that. Fab's full of real people - you won't like all of 'em, and not all of them will like you. Just gotta keep polite, friendly, and keep chatting to people.

Personally I think clubs are a better way of meeting though. Couples aren't harassed by hundreds of single blokes there (usually), and people tend to be less inclined to be rude in person. Plus it's much easier to get your personality across. Mind you that's with us going as a couple so ymmv.

Good luck whatever you decide though OP!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

"Rewrite your profile and lose the dick pics. Bit more humour.

Stick it out fella

He knows

He really doesn't. My profile text is a joke!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

It sucks you feel that way OP.

Only you can decide what path to follow though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you class as rude?"

On here or in the outside world?

Ignorance. Bad manners. That type of stuff is rude in my opinion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get these vibes in Asda too

But i need to eat!!"

Fancy a pear?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

If you aren't enjoying it then leave.

Spending your free time doing something you don't enjoy is one of the definitions of insanity imo.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reasyontheeyesMan
over a year ago

out in the sticks

Go....1 less means more chance for the rest of us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go....1 less means more chance for the rest of us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Hello O.P.

There is no need to leave. It is possible to use the site less but keep your profile.

Rudness is subjective - you cannot control the intentions of others but you can to some extent control your response to perceived rudeness.

I suggest that you log on for half an hour in the morning on Sun. Weds. Fri... and half an hour on those evenings to check replies.

If anyone has been rude to you you simply delete instantly and take on board that the rudeness of others is not your fault.

Use the site to suit you. Stop using 'aimlessly' and sinking into the 'victim' pool.

There is no need to leave.

Take short break first while you decide your own plan.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atty CoramWoman
over a year ago

Wimbledon

"What do you class as rude?

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty

You get replies so you're winning on that one! "

Wait...so you send a message and then they reply with an insult?

Or.. do they say no thanks and then you ask why and then they insult you?

genuine question

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I mean you've got a verification within three months so your already doing better than a lot of guys on here

What were you expecting from the site OP?

LvM

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay! Fuck em!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

"Stay! Fuck em! "

Yeah just to annoy everyone else!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get these vibes in Asda too

But i need to eat!!

Fancy a pear?"

Absolutely not

ghastly!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you class as rude?

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty

You get replies so you're winning on that one!

Wait...so you send a message and then they reply with an insult?

Or.. do they say no thanks and then you ask why and then they insult you?

genuine question

I've had a few over the past days reply with insults,

I'm a nice guy and if a women says no then I take that I won't pester with txts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

"Hello O.P.

There is no need to leave. It is possible to use the site less but keep your profile.

Rudness is subjective - you cannot control the intentions of others but you can to some extent control your response to perceived rudeness.

I suggest that you log on for half an hour in the morning on Sun. Weds. Fri... and half an hour on those evenings to check replies.

If anyone has been rude to you you simply delete instantly and take on board that the rudeness of others is not your fault.

Use the site to suit you. Stop using 'aimlessly' and sinking into the 'victim' pool.

There is no need to leave.

Take short break first while you decide your own plan. "

Good advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I mean you've got a verification within three months so your already doing better than a lot of guys on here

What were you expecting from the site OP?

LvM"

Not expecting to fuck loads of people like my profile says, just can't be assed with the bull

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hello O.P.

There is no need to leave. It is possible to use the site less but keep your profile.

Rudness is subjective - you cannot control the intentions of others but you can to some extent control your response to perceived rudeness.

I suggest that you log on for half an hour in the morning on Sun. Weds. Fri... and half an hour on those evenings to check replies.

If anyone has been rude to you you simply delete instantly and take on board that the rudeness of others is not your fault.

Use the site to suit you. Stop using 'aimlessly' and sinking into the 'victim' pool.

There is no need to leave.

Take short break first while you decide your own plan. "

Very good advise thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the same everywhere, just be yourself and make your own group of friends

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atty CoramWoman
over a year ago

Wimbledon

"What do you class as rude?

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty

You get replies so you're winning on that one!

Wait...so you send a message and then they reply with an insult?

Or.. do they say no thanks and then you ask why and then they insult you?

genuine question

I've had a few over the past days reply with insults,

I'm a nice guy and if a women says no then I take that I won't pester with txts"

Ahhh that sucks. Maybe take a break from the messaging and stay on the forums. Good luck OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

If you're not happy here, consider changing your expectations, or your approach, or how you use the site.

If you're not enjoying it, don't keep going doing the same thing.

Or leave.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the good advise,

It's very grateful and it's made me think there is good people on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What do you class as rude?

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty

You get replies so you're winning on that one!

Wait...so you send a message and then they reply with an insult?

Or.. do they say no thanks and then you ask why and then they insult you?

genuine question

I've had a few over the past days reply with insults,

I'm a nice guy and if a women says no then I take that I won't pester with txts"

Try a bit of compassion toward others too. Maybe the snarky rude people are lashing out due to the stresses they are experiencing.

They shouldn't use others to slap but the beauty of this place is that they CANNOT speak to you again if you block them. Also.... you are not FACE to FACE with them or in public ...

Try the bright side of thinking once in a while. There are blessings in every minute event in life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You say you don't think this site is what it's meant to be.

What is it meant to be?

Or is it more that it's not what you expected it to be?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you class as rude?

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty "

Welcome to the world of fab..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do I stay or do I go?

Don't think this site is what it's meant to be, alot o people are rude on here I get that women get loads of mail every day but there is no need to be rude,

It's kinda clicky even on this feed you see that's its just the same people talking to eachother unless it's a hot guy or girl that messages,

I know I sound a bit stupid but I'm in 2 minds on what to do "

Hi OP

Can I be totally honest with you please... you sound like you put a lot of focus on other people making your time on fab enjoyable and the criticism on your OP is pointed towards other people but only you can change things from your perspective, so my question to you is what can you do differently? You have started a thread asking us whether you should stay or go, it's your decision not ours!

Why not take a break from cold messaging people for a while and refocus on developing your profile and your forum presence which undoubtedly will get you noticed by people especially when they see your personality shine through...that's when someone's profile starts to come alive.

You have a recent verification, so you are clearly well versed with cam sessions. The chat rooms may also be a good way in for you with people.

The people you think are popular on the forum are only people who post regularly and over a long period of time. Those interactions have gained friendships and therefore banter or flirtation comes through on threads...that's a good thing, not a negative. It shows that interacting on here in a positive way works.

As for women being rude to you, that is not necessary and unkind, and I am sad to hear of these experiences. Its never nice to experience negativity.

So, what you do is your call. Its your fab experience and you get out what you put in.

Good luck

NBVN x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you class as rude?

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty

You get replies so you're winning on that one! "

Of course we don’t know what he’s actually sending, might be something provocative

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stay! Fuck em!

Yeah just to annoy everyone else!"

Works for me

Only you can decide whether to stay or go, there is friendliness on the forum, it's not a bad place it can feel like wading uphill in chocolate at times for everyone.

Maybe hide your profile instead of delete then give yourself a few days out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In fairness fab isn't what it used to be but there is a global pandemic on at the moment so I think a few couples and singles may have other things on there mind, save your profile come back in a year or so you will find fab a very different place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, I get where you're coming from. :-/

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My last day today membership runs out tonight.

Thanks to everyone who has messaged me and to those that engaged in the forums with me.

Good luck all and thanks for the laughter and memories x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My last day today membership runs out tonight.

Thanks to everyone who has messaged me and to those that engaged in the forums with me.

Good luck all and thanks for the laughter and memories x"

What?? Oh no

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enry250Man
over a year ago

spalding

I know exactly what you mean

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"My last day today membership runs out tonight.

Thanks to everyone who has messaged me and to those that engaged in the forums with me.

Good luck all and thanks for the laughter and memories x"

Its less than a round in the pub.

Why leave ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My last day today membership runs out tonight.

Thanks to everyone who has messaged me and to those that engaged in the forums with me.

Good luck all and thanks for the laughter and memories x

What?? Oh no

Sorry but it's time to get back to the real world. You will definitely be 1 person I will miss. Its been a pleasure knowing you you certainly are a good egg

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My last day today membership runs out tonight.

Thanks to everyone who has messaged me and to those that engaged in the forums with me.

Good luck all and thanks for the laughter and memories x

What?? Oh no

Sorry but it's time to get back to the real world. You will definitely be 1 person I will miss. Its been a pleasure knowing you you certainly are a good egg

And likewise, I will miss you too!

Don't say that out loud, some think I am the devil incarnate and like to tell their friends too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you class as rude?

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty

You get replies so you're winning on that one!

Wait...so you send a message and then they reply with an insult?

Or.. do they say no thanks and then you ask why and then they insult you?

genuine question

"
I thought exactly the same!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inchyorksMan
over a year ago

huddersfield

If it's frustrating you you should just go, if i ever got to the point where i questioned it is was worth being on here, i figure it's kinda answered itself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My last day today membership runs out tonight.

Thanks to everyone who has messaged me and to those that engaged in the forums with me.

Good luck all and thanks for the laughter and memories x

What?? Oh no

Sorry but it's time to get back to the real world. You will definitely be 1 person I will miss. Its been a pleasure knowing you you certainly are a good egg

And likewise, I will miss you too!

Don't say that out loud, some think I am the devil incarnate and like to tell their friends too

Well all I can say is they are wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I am with you on this. In fact I am disillusioned with the entire scene.

Half the people are promoting paid parties. Or are escorts promoting their services.

The rest just block or ghost after you have spent time chatting to them.for no reason. And the rest are just clique.

So.whay stay and.bash myself against a brick wall?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"You say you don't think this site is what it's meant to be.

What is it meant to be?

Or is it more that it's not what you expected it to be?

I sense a mismatch- expectations v reality

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

It’s always tease tease tease…..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

o/p Without wanting to sound like a stuck record (said this many times). Just treat fab as a social club to share thoughts, ideas and humour. There are vastly many more men than women and couples on here so this is the best way to get noticed. Join in with forum and cam room chat. Good luck!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"What do you class as rude?

The replys I get, I know everyone is not for everyone but name calling and abusing reply is very shitty

You get replies so you're winning on that one! "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Yes it is clique no doubt about that but never in a mean way. You learn to avoid certain threads and to not worry if you are replied to or not. I would persevere but also join other apps so you are not at frustrated by this one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

"Do I stay or do I go?

Don't think this site is what it's meant to be, alot o people are rude on here I get that women get loads of mail every day but there is no need to be rude,

It's kinda clicky even on this feed you see that's its just the same people talking to eachother unless it's a hot guy or girl that messages,

I know I sound a bit stupid but I'm in 2 minds on what to do "

It’s a personal choice but what you need to realise that a lot of people on here have either net through socials etc or have been chatting a while so will engage more on the forums… you do need a thick skin at times but at the end of the day as much some can be far more liberal in their sexual views that doesn’t mean they will meet or engage until there is some sort of trust there… it’s still the long game to develop trust and see if you click… but rewards are there with patience… I spoke and developed a connection to someone for four months daily and things never materialised and that’s the way it is. Does it stop me trying to find what I am looking for ? Hell no.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you stay, will there be trouble?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s always tease tease tease….."

Your happy when I'm on my knees

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago

Away with the faeries

"Do what feels right to you really. I can't say as I agree with much of what you find wrong with Fab, even when I was using it as a single guy.

Good luck whatever you decide though OP! "

I really like this response - constructive, respectful and really on point.

Especially when it comes to meeting people in person, the club is an excellent option.

Good clubs will, on occasion, have events which support the single male if ever you're hesitant about that the club scene, but otherwise it's a great way to meet people.

I sort of look at it as a networking exercise where you should be able to pick and choose for yourself who you vibe with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My last day today membership runs out tonight.

Thanks to everyone who has messaged me and to those that engaged in the forums with me.

Good luck all and thanks for the laughter and memories x

What?? Oh no

Sorry but it's time to get back to the real world. You will definitely be 1 person I will miss. Its been a pleasure knowing you you certainly are a good egg

And likewise, I will miss you too!

Don't say that out loud, some think I am the devil incarnate and like to tell their friends too

Well all I can say is they are wrong

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay, you can’t win if you not in.

Your profile is hidden so I don’t know how long you’ve been here but it takes to time to settle and get to grips with this place, it’s not a join up and sex instantly site. Good luck whatever you do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I'm just on here to have a laugh.

If I ever click with a lady then that's a bonus.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread