FabSwingers.com forum: The struggle is real for guys

By *orldSeller0 OP Man
over a year ago

Craigavon

We've all seen it on here and elsewhere guys complaining about lack of action/responses. People think oh shut up you're not entitled to anything etc. and yeah they're right, but what I see and actually feel myself is the pure and utter frustration of not having a emotional or sexual connection.

Something that a vast majority of women (regardless of looks) can not and probably will never understand much less experience.

And please dont get me wrong here I'm not trying to have at dig women just want more people to understand where those kind of posts and feelings come from thats all.

Not sure where im going with this, feel free to discuss if you want, im just venting really.

Anyway happy new year people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completed it mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A struggle for some guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't agree, alot of ladies want a connection I certainly do. Maybe the reason you're not having any luck is your negative outlook. I get its harder for men to get meets what are you looking for? A one off or a regular?

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

The title of the thread is right as plenty of guys have the same complaint on their status or profile.

However, this site isn’t the scene, thats clubs, parties and socials. So if you’re not doing so well on here, get on the scene and meet those who are actively looking and playing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Story of my life

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

Think about it as being a long game, it cannot compare to a night out with your mates where by 11pm most people are d*unk and lose their inhibitions therefore you probably expect to kop off easily. People are stone cold sober, have thousands to choose from and not usually just after a one night stand they will regret in the morning. Take time to find a balance in who and when to send messages and the message content. Make some friends to chat to without benefits to build some confidence and use the forums as an open book of information, I see toomany threads about having no luck, I'm leaving, people ignore me, you get out what you put in, it's not blind date. Stick with it for the rewards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the guys struggling……do you consider why that may be the case?

There’s are so many variables that you can control, and some you can’t. But there’s a has to be a lot of things to align for you to have fab success.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pure and utter frustration of not getting laid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reckon fab is a very lonely and dispiriting place for some. Is there anywhere you can look for connections away from one sided internet sites. I dont think I would be able to stay somewhere that didnt make me feel good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really come down to what you are looking for OP. There are plenty of people who just are looking for one offs and there that are looking for something much more permanent.

Unless you are clear in your bio and your interactions you will never find what you are looking for because ultimately you don’t know either and this is where the frustration comes in

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By *orldSeller0 OP Man
over a year ago

Craigavon

No im not saying that ladies dont want a connection just that the opportunity to have one without much hassle is alot greater for women opposed to men imo.

As for negative outlook i mean i try not to but im not a robot im not allowed to feel negative about things?

And what im looking for is on my profile you know that thing that no one pays attention to lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pure and utter frustration of not getting laid.

Baws like zeppelins.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

What makes you think women will have never experienced it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I'm pretty sure nearly everyone has struggled to find an emotional connection as they don't come easy. At least not for me. I don't think it's fair to say women can't understand...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No im not saying that ladies dont want a connection just that the opportunity to have one without much hassle is alot greater for women opposed to men imo.

As for negative outlook i mean i try not to but im not a robot im not allowed to feel negative about things?

And what im looking for is on my profile you know that thing that no one pays attention to lol"

I think you find that the hassle for women to find a real connection is probably greater as they have so much more shit to wade through

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the guys struggling……do you consider why that may be the case?

There’s are so many variables that you can control, and some you

can’t. But there’s a has

to be a lot of things to align for you to have fab success. "

I've been here over an year now, and it looks like my finally be meeting someone, it takes time and finding the correct lady.

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By *LheadMan
over a year ago

Chester

An emotional or sexual connection requires time to develop in most interactions on this site that component is missing.

What your experiencing is expectation versus reality. Which, evedently is no longer satisfying your wants or desires.

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By *risxbrisxMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Most men are gross and average at best or too thirsty / cringey.

Focus on the social side and standing out from the crowd of faceless cock pics moaning.

Competition is high, rise to the competition and put effort in. The ladies do with their well written bios and tasteful sexy photos and they pick the fruit. They also get 100s of messages a day...

The old saying you get out what you put in, what can you offer a women? Convey it

Dont take it personally just level up!

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

It’s an online sex website

Face it, it’s an extremely shallow environment where most men just won’t cut the mustard

Men outnumber women 1000 to 1 too. They recurve hundreds of messages a day.

At an estimate I’d bet 10% of guys are getting 90% of the meets, and that’s just the way it is.

It’s not anyones fault unless your being a cock womble

Being a knob head? You know why your not getting meets

Not conventionally attractive? Not tall? Not ripped/athletic? Sorry, it’s just gonna be a lot harder for you, maybe even near impossible depending how far away from these things you’ve fallen. But that’s the luck of the draw in life.

All you can control is not being a cock womble. If on here isn’t working try a social or club where it’s not as shallow

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"No im not saying that ladies dont want a connection just that the opportunity to have one without much hassle is alot greater for women opposed to men imo.

As for negative outlook i mean i try not to but im not a robot im not allowed to feel negative about things?

And what im looking for is on my profile you know that thing that no one pays attention to lol"

Lol it’s pure hassle being a woman on here mate.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

From a genetics POV, we should expect pretty much a 50/50 split in the sex divide, so there should be around the same number of men as women. (Yes, there are some societies where sex-selective abortion and femicide skews the ratio, but this is very very unusual/illegal in the UK).

The 2011 census said across all age groups, 49% of the UK population was male, 51% female. This would make sense when we know females live longer and so there will be a skewed gender ratio at the oldest end of the spectrum.

Data:

Male to female ratio for people aged 25-69 years = 98.49 males per 100 females

Male to female ratio for people aged 70+ years = 81.77 males per 100 females

So, why would women have no/little experience of rejection/difficulty in finding sex etc? I can understand Chinese males complaining about finding a woman - their gender ratio is ridiculously skewed for the reasons I mentioned before. But not relevant in the UK really....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No im not saying that ladies dont want a connection just that the opportunity to have one without much hassle is alot greater for women opposed to men imo.

As for negative outlook i mean i try not to but im not a robot im not allowed to feel negative about things?

And what im looking for is on my profile you know that thing that no one pays attention to lol

Lol it’s pure hassle being a woman on here mate. "

I was just about to offer my services but I couldn't stop clawing at my minge long enough...he wants us STD free. Talk about fussy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a thread the other day I was surprised at the number of ladies also unable to find that connection, so it's both genders really.

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"No im not saying that ladies dont want a connection just that the opportunity to have one without much hassle is alot greater for women opposed to men imo.

As for negative outlook i mean i try not to but im not a robot im not allowed to feel negative about things?

And what im looking for is on my profile you know that thing that no one pays attention to lol

Lol it’s pure hassle being a woman on here mate.

I was just about to offer my services but I couldn't stop clawing at my minge long enough...he wants us STD free. Talk about fussy!

Not worth getting rid of the crabs is it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I beg to to differ, it's not just men.

When on my singles profile I could show my face pic and get blocked, message someone for months and get no where, send first messages and get no reply, have people just disappear yet where still active online, all the things guys complain if happen to women too. Yet my inbox would be full of messages of what would get to dead ends.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

This would be more to the point of it was every guy's experience. But it isn't. We all know men who do very well. They do seem to be the minority but there must be a way to do fab right. An interesting profile is the place to start.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

"It’s an online sex website

Face it, it’s an extremely shallow environment where most men just won’t cut the mustard

Men outnumber women 1000 to 1 too. They recurve hundreds of messages a day.

At an estimate I’d bet 10% of guys are getting 90% of the meets, and that’s just the way it is.

It’s not anyones fault unless your being a cock womble

Being a knob head? You know why your not getting meets

All you can control is not being a cock womble. If on here isn’t working try a social or club where it’s not as shallow "

Very sound advice

as tough as it may be!

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By *orldSeller0 OP Man
over a year ago

Craigavon

Everyone is completely missing my original point and also taking me out of context left, right and centre.

Why is it so controversial to say men have and harder time than women on here and on the dating scene in general when is obviously the case?

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"For the guys struggling……do you consider why that may be the case?

There’s are so many variables that you can control, and some you can’t. But there’s a has to be a lot of things to align for you to have fab success. "

Definitely true to say there are a LOT of variables that need to align, plus a huge slice of luck r.e. Fab......in fact it's nigh on impossible as the numbers game is a massive impediment.........however....

....there are factors that can make a difference.....

Facts:

No matter what you do on here you won't have any success. Women have too many options, plus the guys who ruin it also play a part in making all men look bad.

The ONLY things that make a positive difference are:

1) Don't rely on Fab.

2) Get out to organised socials and let people see what a good person you are in reality.

3) Don't EVER be a scumbag.

4) Go to clubs, but expect NOTHING - and NEVER be entitled.

5) Always have self respect.....even if treated badly.

6) Don't rely on Fab!!!!!

I'm a VERY ordinary single male, but have plenty of female friends, as well as some fabulous couples, because I've done the above. I'm definitely NOT gorgeous by any means.

Finally, NEVER complain too much about getting ignored, even though it's hugely frustrating - and people (often couples) can treat you with contempt. Keep your standards high and be one of the good guys. If you do omplain too much you'll get slagged off in the forums by some (usually women), but sometimes other guys trying to take advantage of you by making you look worse in order to artificially big themselves up. I've watched on the forums and it happens regularly.

Just get out and be seen - I promise it works if you're just patient, unassuming AND nice!

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"Everyone is completely missing my original point and also taking me out of context left, right and centre.

Why is it so controversial to say men have and harder time than women on here and on the dating scene in general when is obviously the case?

How is it ‘obviously’ the case? Do you know the struggles of all women?

It’s incredibly hard to find a decent guy on here. I can tell you that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone is completely missing my original point and also taking me out of context left, right and centre.

Why is it so controversial to say men have and harder time than women on here and on the dating scene in general when is obviously the case?

Men have a harder time in what regards? Getting sex? Hasn't that always been the case? Men trying it on and women saying no? I'm generalising but you get what I'm saying.

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

A large proportion of women have no problem getting attention from men. On the other hand, a large proportion of the men get no attention from women at all.

I get that a lot women have connections that go nowhere, but you have opportunities and that matters. A lot of you don’t know what it’s like to face an endless corridor of closed doors. It can really put you in a dark place.

Not trying to whine, but just telling it how it is.

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By *orldSeller0 OP Man
over a year ago

Craigavon

Yes I'm sure women struggle in many different ways im not saying they dont but what if you went from not being able to find a "decent guy" to not be able to find a guy at all... have a think on that one please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I'm sure women struggle in many different ways im not saying they dont but what if you went from not being able to find a "decent guy" to not be able to find a guy at all... have a think on that one please."

It's at this point I would suggest hitting the "Eject" button OP if you hope to get your hole any time in the next decade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather not have a guy at all rather than settle for someone who isn't compatible, just because I don't have one.

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

I think men are much more comfortable and at ease with no strings sex hence the reason men out number women so much on fab.

It's not like women out number men in real life.

If people are looking for a connection of some kind with a woman then they are prob best of trying to find a woman where there is a level playing field, tinder perhaps or nighclubs/bars (covid permitting)

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Everyone is completely missing my original point and also taking me out of context left, right and centre.

Why is it so controversial to say men have and harder time than women on here and on the dating scene in general when is obviously the case?

Because it’s not true and because it’s a swinging forum not a dating site forum , it’s just boring too, it’s makes you sound like a teenage boy whining he hasn’t got a girlfriend.

You think it’ makes it easier for women knowing that most men on here act like they are so sex starved, they will literally put their cock in anything , male or female or other

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Everyone is completely missing my original point and also taking me out of context left, right and centre.

Why is it so controversial to say men have and harder time than women on here and on the dating scene in general when is obviously the case?

How is it ‘obviously’ the case? Do you know the struggles of all women?

It’s incredibly hard to find a decent guy on here. I can tell you that. "

This is very true.

It's incredibly hard to find genuine decent men on the same page. Was only having this convo with a friend off here this morning!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like if a woman goes out to a pub or a club. There will be guys trying their luck. It's a tale as old as time. Probably why there are more female prostitutes than men?

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I'd rather not have one. It's not the be all and end all.

You could always pay a sex worker? There's definitely more choice for men on that front.

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

I’d rather not find a guy at all if I can’t find a decent one. Have a think on that.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

I think it’s 2 sides of the same coin neither side will fully understand

Most woman will never face the day in, day out, constant rejection and nos some men face. An unending corridor of closed doors that becomes so lonely you can fall in love when a cashier says “have a nice day”.

Most men will have no idea how disgusting it is to have dick thrown at them 24/7 with vile comments, lies and abuse. Men that treat you as nothing more than a hole and knowing that they’d fuck anything that moved. It’s not exactly “positive attention” at that point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And there lies the difference, most women wouldn't even consider just any guy.

If you aren't happy on here then don't be on here. You're young, get out and meet someone that way.

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By *bo7118Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Finding a connection can be hard for some people both male and female. It's something I've always struggled with. This can be a tough time of the year. Anyway, happy new year and I wish love and happiness fir everyone in this thread xxx

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By *orldSeller0 OP Man
over a year ago

Craigavon

"I think it’s 2 sides of the same coin neither side will fully understand

I certainly agree with that statement tbh

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'd rather have no sex than only bad sex. Bad sex for women at best just leaves you more sexually frustrated than you already were. Worst case scenario it's actually painful.

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

If you saw the tone and standard of most of the messages men send you'd understand why so many struggle and why there's so little sympathy when they bemoan their lack of success.

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"If you saw the tone and standard of most of the messages men send you'd understand why so many struggle and why there's so little sympathy when they bemoan their lack of success.

I honestly wish I could show some guys the kind of messages i receive.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Sorry OP I really can't agree with the sentiment of your post. Many women are brought up being told by their male peers they are frigid if they don't do xyz or if heven forbid they do xyz out what they determine is normal they are easy or a slut.

Women do not have an easy life of it especially when we are younger. I agree that many of us as we get older do change and set better boundaries to what we want. It's not a bad thing we're just searching for what we want and not waiting for Me right to find us.

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I think it’s 2 sides of the same coin neither side will fully understand

This

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"If you saw the tone and standard of most of the messages men send you'd understand why so many struggle and why there's so little sympathy when they bemoan their lack of success.

I honestly wish I could show some guys the kind of messages i receive. "

Would put a lot of people off for life!

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By *byeguysCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Paisley

I mean, clubs and social spaces exist. Our first step into swinging was to go visit a club and we didn’t come to fab until afterwards. If you have something to offer women, it’s easier to do when you can be face to face and there isn’t 200 other single guys trying to get her attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it’s 2 sides of the same coin neither side will fully understand

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"If you saw the tone and standard of most of the messages men send you'd understand why so many struggle and why there's so little sympathy when they bemoan their lack of success.

I honestly wish I could show some guys the kind of messages i receive.

Would put a lot of people off for life! "

That’s for sure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just suck it up and get on with it.

Complaining about it will make fuck all difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its easy to find men who want sex but its not easy to find men who want to swing and then find one that sexually attracts without all the clingy bullshit that goes with it ..... fab is getting harder for men as more and more join but fab is not THE scene just like the forums are not fab.... men join exspecting sex whiles the rest of us join to swing

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Is it a struggle? There are worse things in life than not getting a reply on fab. Some men have unrealistic expectations.

Fab is what you make it and if you come on d*unk and horny and start bombarding anyone than can you really expect good results from that.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

I'm not sure where this fits into any of this but I'll be honest I don't look for a connection not on here anyway I come on here for just a bit of filth and a bit of naughty fun .. not having a dig at anyone but I don't think this place is a good place to find a sort of connection.. I'll probably get hated for this but just how I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s an online sex website

Face it, it’s an extremely shallow environment where most men just won’t cut the mustard

Men outnumber women 1000 to 1 too. They recurve hundreds of messages a day.

At an estimate I’d bet 10% of guys are getting 90% of the meets, and that’s just the way it is.

It’s not anyones fault unless your being a cock womble

Being a knob head? You know why your not getting meets

All you can control is not being a cock womble. If on here isn’t working try a social or club where it’s not as shallow "

hehe Cock womble - love that Saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its taken me a year to build up lots of friendships on here and as they have built up I have had more and more encounters with them, sexual and non sexual, yes i still have one off fuck n go meets but the friendships i have on here are so much more meaningfull to me.

Just give it time OP

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"Its taken me a year to build up lots of friendships on here and as they have built up I have had more and more encounters with them, sexual and non sexual, yes i still have one off fuck n go meets but the friendships i have on here are so much more meaningfull to me.

Just give it time OP

Good advice mate

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Just give it time OP

See if you are a decent human and respect & value people this site works just fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP if you think it's difficult for guys (on here or in the wider world) trying being trans.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"For the guys struggling……do you consider why that may be the case?

There’s are so many variables that you can control, and some you can’t. But there’s a has to be a lot of things to align for you to have fab success. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure where this fits into any of this but I'll be honest I don't look for a connection not on here anyway I come on here for just a bit of filth and a bit of naughty fun .. not having a dig at anyone but I don't think this place is a good place to find a sort of connection.. I'll probably get hated for this but just how I think "

You don't look for one, but others do. And how would you know what it's like to find connection if you don't look for it?

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

I think you may just not be in the right place for what you're after, either that or you've got to learn to let go of expectations. My partner and I came together by chance, I wasn't looking and he crept up on me. We decided to give it a go sexually and it was our third meeting that made me realise this was it. Perhaps time to change your approach?

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

[Removed by poster at 02/01/22 21:45:53]

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"If you saw the tone and standard of most of the messages men send you'd understand why so many struggle and why there's so little sympathy when they bemoan their lack of success.

I honestly wish I could show some guys the kind of messages i receive. "

I do exactly this. Soon shuts them up!

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"If you saw the tone and standard of most of the messages men send you'd understand why so many struggle and why there's so little sympathy when they bemoan their lack of success.

I honestly wish I could show some guys the kind of messages i receive.

I do exactly this. Soon shuts them up!"

I’ll bet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't agree.

Yes , I could fuck a different man from here daily if I wanted to, but thats not because of who I am as a person, its purely down to the fact I'm a woman.

I can assure you, that can leave frustration and disappointment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s just as frustrating to be treated like a piece of fuck meat, and not be able to find what you’re looking for, and at the same time contend with shittt messages, dick pics and disrespect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s just as frustrating to be treated like a piece of fuck meat, and not be able to find what you’re looking for, and at the same time contend with shittt messages, dick pics and disrespect. "

As a bi guy i get those shit messages, dick pics, close up anal pics and disrespect also...so i feel you totally x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Wowzers.

I've been celibate almost 2 years. It's really not an issue. My self respect is far more valuable than getting dick. Why would I say yes to someone who's not "decent" for the sake of it? Doesn't sound very healthy to me and screams of those peeps who tune in pissed up when the pubs kick out coz they've got the horn and would poke a swamp donkey just to get their nuts emptied, hoping said swamp donkey is gone by the morning and so they don't have to face what they've done.

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By *heonix_flamesWoman
over a year ago

Midlands

"No im not saying that ladies dont want a connection just that the opportunity to have one without much hassle is alot greater for women opposed to men imo.

As for negative outlook i mean i try not to but im not a robot im not allowed to feel negative about things?

And what im looking for is on my profile you know that thing that no one pays attention to lol"

I’m a bit confused here- are you saying that it’s easier for women to find a man who wants some kind of connection, and harder for a man to find a woman who wants some kind of connection?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it extraordinary how much men complain about the site when 95% of the messages I receive are one line, objectifying, graphic, accompanied by dick pics, puerile and/or completely not what my profile says I'm looking for. Most men on the site write with their dicks. I'm so sick of it I stopped meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would anyone want just anyone, surely finding someone decent is the minimum standard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it extraordinary how much men complain about the site when 95% of the messages I receive are one line, objectifying, graphic, accompanied by dick pics, puerile and/or completely not what my profile says I'm looking for. Most men on the site write with their dicks. I'm so sick of it I stopped meeting.

Yep! It’s put me off men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t agree either and agree with a lot of people above

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I tell ya something else that's a shitty feeling.

Learning that the connection was all a load of bollocks and you've been played. It was nowt more than knicker access.

Or learning that the connection had no right to have been made in the first place coz they're here cheating and didn't fucking tell ya.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tell ya something else that's a shitty feeling.

Learning that the connection was all a load of bollocks and you've been played. It was nowt more than knicker access.

Or learning that the connection had no right to have been made in the first place coz they're here cheating and didn't fucking tell ya.

That is a shitty feeling. I'm sorry

I think many people have encountered it. Men and women.

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By *heonix_flamesWoman
over a year ago

Midlands

Yep! It’s put me off men "

100%- the men on fab have hugely put me off men in general and I no longer meet either.

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By *unatthirtysomethingCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"We've all seen it on here and elsewhere guys complaining about lack of action/responses. People think oh shut up you're not entitled to anything etc. and yeah they're right, but what I see and actually feel myself is the pure and utter frustration of not having a emotional or sexual connection.

Something that a vast majority of women (regardless of looks) can not and probably will never understand much less experience.

And please dont get me wrong here I'm not trying to have at dig women just want more people to understand where those kind of posts and feelings come from thats all.

Not sure where im going with this, feel free to discuss if you want, im just venting really.

Anyway happy new year people."

We don't meet single guys, and to be honest I'm not interested in the M at couple meets.

I think this maybe that women in relationships may already be fulfilled or don't want that intimacy with another man, or men reluctant to have a single male due to pride/ego.

This is purely my opinion though.

We find the connection thing a funny one, people seek that but just want transactional fun, the fine line can get crossed once a connection is established. I'd say attraction and simularity in wants/ fantasies are most important for swinging. Best of luck to you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a shame for the true gents out there..the bad apples make a bad name for the good apples..

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Its a shame for the true gents out there..the bad apples make a bad name for the good apples.."

Funny you mention that saying, normally it’s a few bad apples ruin the bunch

Fabs is like an entire truck of rotten spoiled apples and very few good apples.

Ask yourself, would you root around in a truck load of shitty apples looking for a good one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do know that one lady I was talking to said she had over 300 valid responses . She really could not reply to them all.

I was very lucky she replied to me at all.

It's extremely difficult for single guys on a sex site . Most just give up I would imagine. At the end of the day ask yourself is it worth investing your time and energy? If it's causing you to feel sad ,depressed and giving you negativity then it's time to walk away...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep! It’s put me off men

100%- the men on fab have hugely put me off men in general and I no longer meet either. "

For the most part, it’s put me off men full stop. I know there are good ones too, but I’ve lost the heart to try.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its a shame for the true gents out there..the bad apples make a bad name for the good apples..

Funny you mention that saying, normally it’s a few bad apples ruin the bunch

Fabs is like an entire truck of rotten spoiled apples and very few good apples.

Ask yourself, would you root around in a truck load of shitty apples looking for a good one? "

You can still make a tasty crumble from a bruised squishy apple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread needs to be sticky.

When single guys ask for profile advice, send them here with the question do you recognise your own behaviour?

Time-saver and might improve the cider if not the apples

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Here is my POV - I can count on one hand the amount of people I have met based on me messaging them on fabs without any prior meet at a club or social.

However I can count the amount of people I spoke to at one night in a club on 4 hands. Ok some may not be interested in a play situation but your known that you are genuine.

For me rather spend time in going to clubs / socials and using fabs as a messaging system post event.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to a club..it's a lot more sociable meeting lots of actual people..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its a shame for the true gents out there..the bad apples make a bad name for the good apples..

Funny you mention that saying, normally it’s a few bad apples ruin the bunch

Fabs is like an entire truck of rotten spoiled apples and very few good apples.

Ask yourself, would you root around in a truck load of shitty apples looking for a good one?

You can still make a tasty crumble from a bruised squishy apple

Better than pears at least

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I find they struggle less when you put the bag over their head and give them a few whacks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to a club..it's a lot more sociable meeting lots of actual people.."

I always say that actually get out there! Clubs socials and events have all been on since the summer. If you want to meet people go to where they are…

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"I find they struggle less when you put the bag over their head and give them a few whacks!"

Hahahahaha

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Yep! It’s put me off men

100%- the men on fab have hugely put me off men in general and I no longer meet either.

For the most part, it’s put me off men full stop. I know there are good ones too, but I’ve lost the heart to try."

I have to agree.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Go to a club..it's a lot more sociable meeting lots of actual people.."

Ah, but that's effort innit. Means getting away from behind the keyboard and having nobody to blame if they don't interact with people when there.

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon."

You haven't actually read the messages above have you?

If I get 100 messages and two of them are ok, how is that different from getting just two messages?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon."

You’re speaking from a male perspective. I would have to disagree.

The sheer volume of messages generally means more shit messages, out of the few that remain, how many then match your preferences, then how many are you attracted to……

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon."

The buck doesn't stop at the send button though. Not really. They could go to a club, go to a social. Meet actual people. Truth is they'll whine and moan yet still take the lazy route, even though they know plenty of women go to clubs and feel safer in clubs or meeting for socials first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this can be difficult for both males and females, but in very different ways. For females they have to wade through countless dross in their in boxes from mindless morons asking 'fancy a fuck ?'

Where as my first hand experience that has no experience and wants to try very specific (not too outrageous) things discreetly to see. Is because of females having to go through all the dross average looking single males as myself get passed by quite easily even if we are engaging and interesting in a message.

The fact is it has become increasingly more acceptable for men to be a little more adventurous and there is a surge of guys vying for attention where as females have been accepted to be sexually adventurous (encouraged) for some time.

It is just the way it is and we have to try as males to try a little harder to stand out. This is modern day nature and as difficult and frustrating as it can be and has been for me it is brilliant to see that we as a species still retain some natural instincts, even if technology is involved.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I don’t struggle on here and I’m a single guy! A pretty average one at that. Look at fab as an opportunity to get to know the ladies rather than a site just to get a fuck is what I would say.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If everyone who moans about being hard done by actually went to socials and clubs and looked at parties, which are also avenues FAB offers then they wouldn’t struggle on here.

If they also had a decent profile and pics and sent out engaging messages then you wouldn’t see many people complaining.

You get out of FAB what you put in…the opportunities are there for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If everyone who moans about being hard done by actually went to socials and clubs and looked at parties, which are also avenues FAB offers then they wouldn’t struggle on here.

If they also had a decent profile and pics and sent out engaging messages then you wouldn’t see many people complaining.

You get out of FAB what you put in…the opportunities are there for everyone.

You mean... you actually have to put effort in here?1

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

" The fact is it has become increasingly more acceptable for men to be a little more adventurous and there is a surge of guys vying for attention where as females have been accepted to be sexually adventurous (encouraged) for some time.

It's been accepted for females to be more sexually adventurous for some time?! Since when?? The last time we checked, the very 19th century ideas about chastity and regulating women's sexual behaviours were unfortunately alive and well. On average, it is far more socially acceptable for men to have multiple casual sexual encounters, whereas women are berated for having the same.

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

"Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon.

You haven't actually read the messages above have you?

If I get 100 messages and two of them are ok, how is that different from getting just two messages?

You think of it as message frequency and message quality, and think about these separately.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'd rather be a guy on here and that's pretty much all I'm saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do and I am very easy going and have made it clear that I am none pushy and explain that there should be an element of chat and a want before any sort of meet is even discussed.

For me it is what I'd like to try that is the issue and if I wanted to go and do them with loads of random stuff for the sake of it I could have, but wanting to meet the right people to do discuss is difficult as a newbie that's unverified. No matter how genuine you may be.

Also as a side note, without coming on to you as you aren't interested looking at your profile you are a very attractive guy. Just sayin, from an 'average guy' it does make it easier lol

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

"Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon.

Well, I gather than the original post was in context the situation in fab. If we say, you can just go elsewhere, then the discussion stops and that wouldn't be interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon.

You haven't actually read the messages above have you?

If I get 100 messages and two of them are ok, how is that different from getting just two messages?

You think of it as message frequency and message quality, and think about these separately."

That makes no sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon.

Well, I gather than the original post was in context the situation in fab. If we say, you can just go elsewhere, then the discussion stops and that wouldn't be interesting."

The discussion doesn’t stop at suggesting going to socials and clubs - that’s all part of fab too

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon.

Well, I gather than the original post was in context the situation in fab. If we say, you can just go elsewhere, then the discussion stops and that wouldn't be interesting."

Ah, but people must also understand there are an awful lot of folk who use the site to keep up with clubs and events and people they meet at said places.

So I get what you're saying, but they'd certainly find they'd get more interaction. I went to a club a NYE and have spoken to 3 profiles on here since then who I saw there, 2 of whom I wouldn't have spoken to unless I'd had the initial interaction in person. So for me, it still comes down to the context of fab, and how you use it.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"If everyone who moans about being hard done by actually went to socials and clubs and looked at parties, which are also avenues FAB offers then they wouldn’t struggle on here.

If they also had a decent profile and pics and sent out engaging messages then you wouldn’t see many people complaining.

You get out of FAB what you put in…the opportunities are there for everyone.

You mean... you actually have to put effort in here?1

Obviously you don’t with that bum…you’ll get a 1000 messages and each one will be polite, detailed and exactly what you are looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If everyone who moans about being hard done by actually went to socials and clubs and looked at parties, which are also avenues FAB offers then they wouldn’t struggle on here.

If they also had a decent profile and pics and sent out engaging messages then you wouldn’t see many people complaining.

You get out of FAB what you put in…the opportunities are there for everyone.

You mean... you actually have to put effort in here?1

Obviously you don’t with that bum…you’ll get a 1000 messages and each one will be polite, detailed and exactly what you are looking for

If only! But thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women get opportunity via the sheer number of messages they get. They get a lot of shit, but each one of those messages if a chance to strike gold.

For many men, the buck stops at their send button. They don't have the opportunity to find gold, let alone silver or bronze.

We can debate about message quality, rudeness, dick pics etc..., but in aggregate the above is the reality.

It's just a very different for men and women here. And we're not going to change this anytime soon.

Well, I gather than the original post was in context the situation in fab. If we say, you can just go elsewhere, then the discussion stops and that wouldn't be interesting.

The discussion doesn’t stop at suggesting going to socials and clubs - that’s all part of fab too "

Exactly you go to clubs and socials meet people there and from that - you connect with others who are most likely on fab, you get a verification and then the ball rolls from there… it can open more doors

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Personally I think whinging and whining is the downfall for most single fellows.

For people who want to have fun, poor me is not a great USP.

Get out there and have fun, go to clubs, break the barriers that make you fail.

Well unless you are just lazy.

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"It’s just as frustrating to be treated like a piece of fuck meat, and not be able to find what you’re looking for, and at the same time contend with shittt messages, dick pics and disrespect.

As a bi guy i get those shit messages, dick pics, close up anal pics and disrespect also...so i feel you totally x"

Too true. Quick reply of "do one" then block.

I've never had a bad message from a woman or a couple, short and cryptic sometimes but never rude. I think some blokes jump through hoops to get a meet from some very demanding people, then get frustrated when nothing happens. Over the years you just get better at reading profiles and gauging who will be a better match and then messaging them appropriately. Would you expect to score every time if you went on the pull every night in vanilla-world? I know men who have never scored, though to be fair it's from so many knock backs early on that they stopped trying. If they do score it's because the woman has made the first move. It does happen, and I find those women particularly attractive as they usually have a lot of self confidence and don't give a shit about convention.

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By *aughtyangel3Man
over a year ago

North West

I think you have to ask yourself what your actually looking for?

Notches on your bedpost?

A full blown relationship?

Friend's with benefits?

Or just a one off meet to get what you want?

The truth is in normal life you wouldn't walk up to a woman in the street or a bar or club and ask the thing's you put in a message on here,

So why would you expect to get a response on here?

Just because it's a adult site doesn't change that fact,

And it doesn't mean that because your on the same site it makes you more attractive to someone,

As in real life you have to start with a connection.

Be totally honest open and polite, no means no so don't get shitty,

And read people's profile properly,

All the clues are usually there as to the type of person there looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i am a genuine female and meet. but the amount of single men who dont turn up after arranging to meet me can be shocking.i have sat around waiting many times for no shows.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Its a shame for the true gents out there..the bad apples make a bad name for the good apples.."

I hate it when people say stuff like this because it isn’t true… and absolves people of responsibility

You are the master of your own fate… you do not talk for others and others don’t speak for you!!

There are many places to be making swinging work… think of it as a jigsaw of which fab is just one piece! The more avenues you open the more you get to stand out from others!!

Time, patience, basic common sense…. If you think you are being a tit, the chances are you probably are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s an online sex website

Face it, it’s an extremely shallow environment where most men just won’t cut the mustard

Men outnumber women 1000 to 1 too. They recurve hundreds of messages a day.

At an estimate I’d bet 10% of guys are getting 90% of the meets, and that’s just the way it is.

It’s not anyones fault unless your being a cock womble

Being a knob head? You know why your not getting meets

All you can control is not being a cock womble. If on here isn’t working try a social or club where it’s not as shallow "

Ha ha ha ffs im fat and old and yeah chuck in ugly as well...but guess what???? I get meets and I get a few offers....more power to everyone....just remember this should be fun x

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

"Its a shame for the true gents out there..the bad apples make a bad name for the good apples..

I hate it when people say stuff like this because it isn’t true… and absolves people of responsibility

You are the master of your own fate… you do not talk for others and others don’t speak for you!!

There are many places to be making swinging work… think of it as a jigsaw of which fab is just one piece! The more avenues you open the more you get to stand out from others!!

Time, patience, basic common sense…. If you think you are being a tit, the chances are you probably are! "

Well said!

I believe clearly that to succeed on here, you have to put in the effort, be that in your Profile, your style of approach, and continuing to watch how the site evolves as do others.

I'm 66, but still have my share of meets. Ok, I may not have masses of ladies or couples falling at my feet, but I've a few with whom I'm in touch, and meets are pending!

It's all about how one deals with and approaches everyone else. It's often a case of making someone aware I'm around and building up a rapport from there! I'm happy to wait!

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By *tormexexexMan
over a year ago

LEEDS

"I reckon fab is a very lonely and dispiriting place for some. Is there anywhere you can look for connections away from one sided internet sites. I dont think I would be able to stay somewhere that didnt make me feel good. "

I agree 100% I used to think of myself as very polite with good manners but I think I've become more than a little cynical and jaded

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Here is my POV - I can count on one hand the amount of people I have met based on me messaging them on fabs without any prior meet at a club or social.

However I can count the amount of people I spoke to at one night in a club on 4 hands. Ok some may not be interested in a play situation but your known that you are genuine.

For me rather spend time in going to clubs / socials and using fabs as a messaging system post event."

Also because I don’t accommodate. Live with disabled parent. It makes it virtually impossible to meet during the week, unless I am a hotel or club.

Am I hunk, with multiple tats nope. Do i chat to people - yes

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By *orldSeller0 OP Man
over a year ago

Craigavon

Well this thread got ridiculous real quick... literally all I was saying that alot of men struggle to find success on here and with dating in general and that specific experience is one that alot of women aren't familiar with at all.

I still dont fully understand why pretty much all of you reacted so poorly to that tbh but yeah I've certainly learned quite a bit about the people of fab and what is expected and seemingly required from a lowly, sniveling, single male like myself

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I think it’s 2 sides of the same coin neither side will fully understand

This is the most sensible post in the entire thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d rather not find a guy at all if I can’t find a decent one. Have a think on that. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can assure you that as a woman I really struggle for emotional and physical connection too.

Sure if I wasn't fussy and didn't care I could have sex as much as I wanted with different guys but that really would do nothing for me.

I'm looking for something that seems entirely out of my reach. It sucks. It's lonely and its downright depressing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well this thread got ridiculous real quick... literally all I was saying that alot of men struggle to find success on here and with dating in general and that specific experience is one that alot of women aren't familiar with at all.

What’s ridiculous about it? You gave your opinion and everyone else gave theirs, which the majority disagreed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can assure you that as a woman I really struggle for emotional and physical connection too.

Sure if I wasn't fussy and didn't care I could have sex as much as I wanted with different guys but that really would do nothing for me.

I'm looking for something that seems entirely out of my reach. It sucks. It's lonely and its downright depressing "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do and I am very easy going and have made it clear that I am none pushy and explain that there should be an element of chat and a want before any sort of meet is even discussed.

Also as a side note, without coming on to you as you aren't interested looking at your profile you are a very attractive guy. Just sayin, from an 'average guy' it does make it easier lol"

You could be the nicest bloke on the planet but without actually going to meet real people in clubs or at socials you may find it difficult to engage with people.

This is not the golden ticket for willy wankers and the f***ing factory that some men perceive it to be...

Just because we are all on here it does not not mean its an automatic leg opener.

Be brave OP and get yourself out there, we are sure you will meet some lovely people.

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By *hoenix_1Man
over a year ago

richmond

"I don't agree, alot of ladies want a connection I certainly do. Maybe the reason you're not having any luck is your negative outlook. I get its harder for men to get meets what are you looking for? A one off or a regular?"

Totally agree. Great sex is only achieved when there is a connection with both or all the people involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is not here to make it work for you. Just like life, it’s there and you get or you make what you want from it.

All guys need to realise that nobody HAS to have sex or even talk to you.

All women need to realise the exact same.

But women and men on here will experience different things on here just as they will in life.

How you personally measure success on fab (which is often mentioned) is a thing only you can feel. I feel happy I joined, I speak to people and I wonder if anything sexy might happen in the future. Just as I did before I joined.

People who join need to get there heads out of the clouds thinking anyone owes you anything. That’s directed at ALL sexes.

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By *xiled BikerMan
over a year ago

Beverley

"Fab is not here to make it work for you. Just like life, it’s there and you get or you make what you want from it.

All guys need to realise that nobody HAS to have sex or even talk to you.

All women need to realise the exact same.

But women and men on here will experience different things on here just as they will in life.

People who join need to get there heads out of the clouds thinking anyone owes you anything. That’s directed at ALL sexes. "

Perfectly describes my view, well written, sometimes I can get no messages or interest for days then a flurry then nothing, just how it is, no guarantees, just roll with it guys.

I should add having been stood up almost as many times as I have had meets, I do know how it frustrating it feels but again its the game we all choose to play.

Have fun and dont dwell or get irked on the downside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is not here to make it work for you. Just like life, it’s there and you get or you make what you want from it.

All guys need to realise that nobody HAS to have sex or even talk to you.

All women need to realise the exact same.

But women and men on here will experience different things on here just as they will in life.

People who join need to get there heads out of the clouds thinking anyone owes you anything. That’s directed at ALL sexes. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good to know that you've read through all the responses and the insight others offered has helped you realise....oh, wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it’s 2 sides of the same coin neither side will fully understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its a shame for the true gents out there..the bad apples make a bad name for the good apples..

Funny you mention that saying, normally it’s a few bad apples ruin the bunch

Fabs is like an entire truck of rotten spoiled apples and very few good apples.

Ask yourself, would you root around in a truck load of shitty apples looking for a good one? "

Brilliant analogy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. Even with no pics and no text I can still get about 40 messages a day. Not all of them are desperate either. Some are appreciative and friendly when I reply. Some are rude because I didn't offer a shag.

But it's still interaction with a human being.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Fab is not here to make it work for you. Just like life, it’s there and you get or you make what you want from it.

All guys need to realise that nobody HAS to have sex or even talk to you.

All women need to realise the exact same.

But women and men on here will experience different things on here just as they will in life.

People who join need to get there heads out of the clouds thinking anyone owes you anything. That’s directed at ALL sexes. "

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I don’t struggle on here and I’m a single guy! A pretty average one at that. Look at fab as an opportunity to get to know the ladies rather than a site just to get a fuck is what I would say. "

Exactly. It's people's expectations of what this site is and what is actually is that could make someone disappointed.

You have to change your mindset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can only speak about my own experiences on here. I make contact with several ladies, and get a fair number of responses. Admittedly the success rate would be around ten percent but that’s fine with me. No doubt there will be many I don’t appeal to which again is fine, we all have different likes etc. But most importantly, I think, is I make conversation. I like to find out about people, listen to them etc in the hope we find some commonality and then take it from there.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Everyone is completely missing my original point and also taking me out of context left, right and centre.

Why is it so controversial to say men have and harder time than women on here and on the dating scene in general when is obviously the case?

Because it’s not true and because it’s a swinging forum not a dating site forum , it’s just boring too, it’s makes you sound like a teenage boy whining he hasn’t got a girlfriend.

You think it’ makes it easier for women knowing that most men on here act like they are so sex starved, they will literally put their cock in anything , male or female or other "

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Take a page from my book, check my pics/bio because it works for me

I never get any messages but that’s because they’re having so many orgasms and they’re so wet they can’t type

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By *harisajidanWoman
over a year ago

london

"its easy to find men who want sex but its not easy to find men who want to swing and then find one that sexually attracts without all the clingy bullshit that goes with it ..... fab is getting harder for men as more and more join but fab is not THE scene just like the forums are not fab.... men join exspecting sex whiles the rest of us join to swing "

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Just see fab as a social club for chat, thoughts, ideas and humour. Be patient and respectful and above all have fun! You might get lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately fabswingers, much like real life, is easier for good looking charismatic men.

Women in some respects have the odd thing arguably 'easier' and can pick and choose who they want to interact with (to a point) due to simple mathematics, there's way more men on here than women.

But on the other hand the shocking treatment and abuse they also receive more than balances that out.

As others have said, it's best to just treat fab like a social thing and see what happens. Anything else will probably have the opposite effect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take a page from my book, check my pics/bio because it works for me

I never get any messages but that’s because they’re having so many orgasms and they’re so wet they can’t type "

Haha I hear waterproof keyboard sales are up 500% round your way?

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I think it’s 2 sides of the same coin neither side will fully understand

Very well put on both counts.

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

"I think it’s 2 sides of the same coin neither side will fully understand

Very well put on both counts."

Yes...this sums everything up

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By *rben112Man
over a year ago

worcester

Yes there are far more lows than highs on this site. Rejection is a real kick in the nuts. But we can’t take anything for granted, so take the highs when they arrive. Good luck every one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was a single guy looking for an emotional connection I wouldn’t be looking on Fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since joining I have been absolutely shocked at the way some guys talk in intro messages to someone they have not met. It's like they forget you are human. If you wouldn't approach someone in real life that way, why would you do so on here?

-C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Since joining I have been absolutely shocked at the way some guys talk in intro messages to someone they have not met. It's like they forget you are human. If you wouldn't approach someone in real life that way, why would you do so on here?

-C"

This!

There’s been time when I’d like to post a meet, but I don’t have the heart to go through all the crap messages, and the men on here don’t make me feel safe, so I have a wank instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From personal experience on here, the struggle is real for both sexes. We live in a digital world where its way easier to just pick up the the phone and our spare time with endless messages than have to go through the rigmarole of getting sitters, finding time and taking the risk of meeting face to face. I've been on here before and spoken, face timed ect to the same person for weeks on end who say they're looking for an emotional connection. Yet 100% are not willing to meet. Unfortunately that's life guys, before the net, if we wanted to meet we'd be out smashing the pubs, clubs ect and probably doing better than we are now even with the abundance of people on sites. Crazy times, both men and women stating they struggle on here

then something clearly doesn't work the way it should.

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

-C

This!

There’s been time when I’d like to post a meet, but I don’t have the heart to go through all the crap messages, and the men on here don’t make me feel safe, so I have a wank instead."

I can’t think of anything more daunting than the thought of posting a meet on here. The amount of messages I get when I’ve clearly stated that I’m not meeting is bad enough!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

-C

This!

There’s been time when I’d like to post a meet, but I don’t have the heart to go through all the crap messages, and the men on here don’t make me feel safe, so I have a wank instead.

I can’t think of anything more daunting than the thought of posting a meet on here. The amount of messages I get when I’ve clearly stated that I’m not meeting is bad enough!"

Exactly! I just sort myself out instead, which is a shame but I can’t face the messages and I’m genuinely worried about some of them men on here, and their attitudes towards women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it’s 2 sides of the same coin neither side will fully understand

Very well put on both counts.

Yes...this sums everything up

Since having a couples account on here I can safely say I’d rather be rejected than put up with half the shit I’ve seen. I’m a big boy, my ego can handle a “no thanks”. If people are saying that to couples I can’t begin to imagine what they are saying to single ladies.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Everyone is completely missing my original point and also taking me out of context left, right and centre.

Why is it so controversial to say men have and harder time than women on here and on the dating scene in general when is obviously the case?

No it’s not obviously the case at all. I’m having the same struggle so what your spouting is BS

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it's reasonable to be looking for sexual partners in more than 1 place and type of place, especially if your preferred option is vastly more difficult than the others.

Some say that they get all the sex they want in the wider world and complain that they can't here.

Some are not adept at using appropriate strategies for the context they operate in. And some aren't flexible, potentially refusing to learn.

Survival of the fittest is truly the evolutionary principle that operates here.

Those most evolved to this climate will likely thrive. Those others may starve and die off. It's painful for them. But there's no force involved, no guns to the head meaning that they have to be here, nor can't adjust their strategies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone is completely missing my original point and also taking me out of context left, right and centre.

Why is it so controversial to say men have and harder time than women on here and on the dating scene in general when is obviously the case?

No it’s not obviously the case at all. I’m having the same struggle so what your spouting is BS"

^ This ^

Why can't we recognise that both sexes can have a hard time of it? It's not a sodding competition.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Both sexes can have a hard time

Womens hard time tends to be the “water everywhere but not a drop to drink” situation

Women also have the situation where they don’t have to do anything. This could be great, because if your attractive you have life handed to you on a plate. But if your not it’s very hard because women don’t really take initiative and approach, so they are left to get what’s given to them.

Men on the other hand have a situation where they get nothing unless they go for it. Even chris hemsworth lookalikes would go home alone every night unless they actively make moves

This puts men in a hard position. Either don’t make a move and be alone forever. Or face rejection after humiliating rejection. Hell, a guy might try to talk to 100 women on a night out and get rejected 100 times. And that’s just expected as a guy. It’s to be tolerated. Most women wouldn’t even dream of messaging 1st on here because even an online rejection is too much for them to handle. Imagine being in a below average guys shoes.

It’s 2 sides of the same coin. Neither side will agree because each side kinda wants what the other has a “grass is siesta greener” kinda situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a few women and couples saying that the crappy men on here put them off meeting men.

Yet often people say the crap men don't spoil it for everyone.

Clearly they do put some people off meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Both sexes can have a hard time

Womens hard time tends to be the “water everywhere but not a drop to drink” situation

Men on the other hand have a situation where they get nothing unless they go for it. Even chris hemsworth lookalikes would go home alone every night unless they actively make moves

It’s 2 sides of the same coin. Neither side will agree because each side kinda wants what the other has a “grass is siesta greener” kinda situation "

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

There’s also a disconnect between what people say they want, and what they actually want

Men say they just want a nice girl. When in reality they want big boobs, tiny waist, big bum. No cellulite, no wobbly bits. Looks like she has perfect make up but doesn’t actually wear any. Big lips but no filler. Wears lingerie 24/7 and is perfectly hairless

Woman say the same. “I just want a funny charming nice guy”. But we all know that’s not entirely true either. Much like men, woman have many physical traits then need in a guy.

This disconnect leads to lots of “but I’m a nice guy/girl? Why doesn’t anyone want me?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Both sexes can have a hard time

Womens hard time tends to be the “water everywhere but not a drop to drink” situation

Men on the other hand have a situation where they get nothing unless they go for it. Even chris hemsworth lookalikes would go home alone every night unless they actively make moves

It’s 2 sides of the same coin. Neither side will agree because each side kinda wants what the other has a “grass is siesta greener” kinda situation "

Hmm. I think you've clearly outlined the issues for men. Some men. Not all men take the same approach of cold messaging constantly though do they? But women having a hard time is reduced to one line and they can't cope with one rejection. Huh.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Something that a vast majority of women (regardless of looks) can not and probably will never understand much less experience.

And please dont get me wrong here I'm not trying to have at dig women just want more people to understand where those kind of posts and feelings come from thats all.

Not sure where im going with this, feel free to discuss if you want, im just venting really.

Anyway happy new year people."

Anyone who really wants physical and emotional connection shouldn't be looking for it on sex sites.... try some real world situations.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

It's tough for very many people. Why does it have to be turned into a gender war when it's simply about disconnect in general which everyone in society experiences.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Both sexes can have a hard time

Womens hard time tends to be the “water everywhere but not a drop to drink” situation

Men on the other hand have a situation where they get nothing unless they go for it. Even chris hemsworth lookalikes would go home alone every night unless they actively make moves

It’s 2 sides of the same coin. Neither side will agree because each side kinda wants what the other has a “grass is siesta greener” kinda situation

Well I can’t write from a woman’s perspective, I’ve tried my best to outline some things I think. And I think most posts of this thread do a very good job of outlining that both sides have issues. I just have far more experience with my side of those issues

Sorry if it wasn’t up to your standards

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

[Removed by poster at 04/01/22 09:25:28]

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

"It's tough for very many people. Why does it have to be turned into a gender war when it's simply about disconnect in general which everyone in society experiences. "

This.... absolutely.

Granny, you keep hitting the nail on the head. Teach me how.... I've never been that accurate with a hammer and have the bruised hands to prove it.

Posh

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"There’s also a disconnect between what people say they want, and what they actually want

Woman say the same. “I just want a funny charming nice guy”. But we all know that’s not entirely true either. Much like men, woman have many physical traits then need in a guy.

This disconnect leads to lots of “but I’m a nice guy/girl? Why doesn’t anyone want me?” "

Well, obviously my relationship of almost 18yrs is founded on lies and BS then because if that's what ALL men want, then Mr KC is clearly only with me for my........[fuck knows

]

On the other hand, I definitely married him mainly because he has a large penis *nods*

Yours,

Mrs "Shallow as a Puddle" KC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Both sexes can have a hard time

Womens hard time tends to be the “water everywhere but not a drop to drink” situation

Men on the other hand have a situation where they get nothing unless they go for it. Even chris hemsworth lookalikes would go home alone every night unless they actively make moves

It’s 2 sides of the same coin. Neither side will agree because each side kinda wants what the other has a “grass is siesta greener” kinda situation

Sorry if it wasn’t up to your standards

That's not what I meant. It was the same attitude as the OP. You started off saying both sexes have a hard time and then minimised women's experience. And a little side swipe at women because we never message first apparently. You think I am critical of men. Yes but only as critical as you are of women.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"No im not saying that ladies dont want a connection just that the opportunity to have one without much hassle is alot greater for women opposed to men imo.

As for negative outlook i mean i try not to but im not a robot im not allowed to feel negative about things?

And what im looking for is on my profile you know that thing that no one pays attention to lol

Lol it’s pure hassle being a woman on here mate.

I was just about to offer my services but I couldn't stop clawing at my minge long enough...he wants us STD free. Talk about fussy!

That made me laugh! I bet, with a lovely body like yours 99% of the men on Fab would risk your STDs you get with you.

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By *4G-GBBukCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Dangerously close to incel mentality, and I would suggest you're in the wrong place. The world owes you nothing, and if you can't find an emotional or sexual connection then you need to be working out why that in unfulfilled, as often the answer is looking at you in the mirror.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I do ok on fab

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Both sexes can have a hard time

Womens hard time tends to be the “water everywhere but not a drop to drink” situation

Men on the other hand have a situation where they get nothing unless they go for it. Even chris hemsworth lookalikes would go home alone every night unless they actively make moves

It’s 2 sides of the same coin. Neither side will agree because each side kinda wants what the other has a “grass is siesta greener” kinda situation

Sorry if it wasn’t up to your standards

I don’t feel I’ve been critical. I’ve pointed out differences, I’ve never assigned blame.

As I said, I have 30 years experience on the mens side of the issue, and only things I’ve heard about the other side.

Maybe instead you could add your side to the coin?

I think it’s evident many men think the grass truly is greener on the woman’s side. I’d argue in some aspects it is, and on some it isn’t. But only you can really give us that side?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The struggle is real. Full stop. In all areas of life, for all areas of aspiration. Nothing worth having was a piece of piss to achieve.

It’s far too easy to fail at something, and to blame the world for not bending to your personal wants and desires. And then to think that you are somehow having a tougher time than the rest of us.

Newsflash: you’re not.

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