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By *ong-leggedblond OP   Woman
over a year ago

Next Door

Lots of people struggle at new year/wintertime etc at the best of times and after nearly 2 yrs of f ing covid, people who might not normally struggle might be and other who struggle normally might struggle more.

Just to reiterate like so many other posts, you are not alone, you can reach out, people will sit up all night listening/helping others.

Please don't suffer.

I suffered and when I reached out to someone they weren't there for me. I vowed to myself I would be there if anyone reached out to me, as being at a very low point with no one there is devastating.

I survived and I'm thankful, I wobble often, these days get less and less.

Xx

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Such a lovely post, sometimes reaching out to a stranger is easier than someone close x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m checking in and yes I’ve also struggled in my life. I’m very much like you OP and I hate to think of anyone struggling in their own without anyone to reach out too.

We all need somebody to just listen at times. Not to fix anything or do anything, just to listen.

My inbox is and will always be open to anyone that needs to be heard

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By *ong-leggedblond OP   Woman
over a year ago

Next Door


"Such a lovely post, sometimes reaching out to a stranger is easier than someone close x"

How true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always have my inbox boys and girls!

were all human at the end of the day.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

This is a wonderful uplifting thread OP.

I was in a very low dark place last year and just kept everything I was feeling to myself. I reached out to a friend on Fab who, for lack of a better word, saved me.

I pay it forward and will continue to pay it forward as long as there’s someone who needs help, someone who’ll just listen.

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By *ong-leggedblond OP   Woman
over a year ago

Next Door


"This is a wonderful uplifting thread OP.

I was in a very low dark place last year and just kept everything I was feeling to myself. I reached out to a friend on Fab who, for lack of a better word, saved me.

I pay it forward and will continue to pay it forward as long as there’s someone who needs help, someone who’ll just listen. "

So please you had someone that was there for you.

I hope you are healing yourself

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

Great lovely glad they helped you to come back up.

I've never had that as I'm great with the smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very much in that position of struggling and it’s hard to be forward sometimes, but it is nice to know nice people exist

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

Great thread.

I have suffered with generalised anxiety, depression, post natal depression and PTSD so am well versed in the darkness and am more than happy to help, support and listen to anyone who is struggling in any way.

Sending Hugs

MJ xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been struggling with mental health issues caused by work having long term covid hasn’t helped sometimes it’s just nice to know someone cares and gives a shit I talk to sych but feel there is some things I can’t talk to him about

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

Excellent post OP...I have lost a few close friends through suicide due to Mental Health...I feel for every one else who has also felt this loss. As a few have already said...My inbox is also open for anyone that needs to off load any thoughts. I hope that all those that have lost their lives through suicide and Mental Health are all finding the peace that they so desperately needed but could not find whilst still been alive May you all R.I.P.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

It's definitely a tough time to be single and not be seeing anyone, that's for sure.

I ended up having a fairly quiet night last night and the rather strange televised fireworks ceremony certainly made me feel a bit depressed. It all felt a bit hollow and forced somehow.

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By *ong-leggedblond OP   Woman
over a year ago

Next Door


"I’ve been struggling with mental health issues caused by work having long term covid hasn’t helped sometimes it’s just nice to know someone cares and gives a shit I talk to sych but feel there is some things I can’t talk to him about "

I get that.

Talking to a stranger might help.

People are offering to listen when and if you want to off load.

Take care

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I was shocked to learn that suicide is one of the biggest killers of men under 40.

I cannot imagine how dark a place that may be, if anyone reads this thread there are people on here and other help lines that can help,

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By *ong-leggedblond OP   Woman
over a year ago

Next Door

Not only have I had darkness, my kids have also been in dark places and 1 has self harmed and tried suicide a few times

I'm not blaming them, but i took it as a failure and then lots of other things, I hit rock bottom.

I'm not a failure as a person, a partner or a friend. I was overwhelmed with lots of things, my bucket was overflowing and i didn't know how to stop it but so wanted to stop.

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By *ong-leggedblond OP   Woman
over a year ago

Next Door


"It's definitely a tough time to be single and not be seeing anyone, that's for sure.

I ended up having a fairly quiet night last night and the rather strange televised fireworks ceremony certainly made me feel a bit depressed. It all felt a bit hollow and forced somehow. "

There are always someone on here or other sites who will chat, even if it's just talking crap ( football).

Hope you're OK?

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By *urio77Man
over a year ago

northampton


"Lots of people struggle at new year/wintertime etc at the best of times and after nearly 2 yrs of f ing covid, people who might not normally struggle might be and other who struggle normally might struggle more.

Just to reiterate like so many other posts, you are not alone, you can reach out, people will sit up all night listening/helping others.

Please don't suffer.

I suffered and when I reached out to someone they weren't there for me. I vowed to myself I would be there if anyone reached out to me, as being at a very low point with no one there is devastating.

I survived and I'm thankful, I wobble often, these days get less and less.

Xx

"

Snap. This is the same experience I had and I vowed the same. Good on you OP for posting this. Mental health shouldn’t be seen as a weakness. Just the power of talk alone can raise your spirits and lift your soul.

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I spent my life taking care of others, but these last 6 months were very difficult, if not awful.

Thankfully, I’ve found my internal smile again, and things feel like they’re on the up.

Thanks for going there OP x

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By *ong-leggedblond OP   Woman
over a year ago

Next Door


"Lots of people struggle at new year/wintertime etc at the best of times and after nearly 2 yrs of f ing covid, people who might not normally struggle might be and other who struggle normally might struggle more.

Just to reiterate like so many other posts, you are not alone, you can reach out, people will sit up all night listening/helping others.

Please don't suffer.

I suffered and when I reached out to someone they weren't there for me. I vowed to myself I would be there if anyone reached out to me, as being at a very low point with no one there is devastating.

I survived and I'm thankful, I wobble often, these days get less and less.

Xx

Snap. This is the same experience I had and I vowed the same. Good on you OP for posting this. Mental health shouldn’t be seen as a weakness. Just the power of talk alone can raise your spirits and lift your soul. "

Hope you're ok?

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By *ong-leggedblond OP   Woman
over a year ago

Next Door


"I spent my life taking care of others, but these last 6 months were very difficult, if not awful.

Thankfully, I’ve found my internal smile again, and things feel like they’re on the up.

Thanks for going there OP x"

This is good news

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not only have I had darkness, my kids have also been in dark places and 1 has self harmed and tried suicide a few times

I'm not blaming them, but i took it as a failure and then lots of other things, I hit rock bottom.

I'm not a failure as a person, a partner or a friend. I was overwhelmed with lots of things, my bucket was overflowing and i didn't know how to stop it but so wanted to stop.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m shit at talking to others about my troubles.

But, my inbox is open to ANYBODY that’s would like the sympathetic ear of a stranger to unload to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lots of people struggle at new year/wintertime etc at the best of times and after nearly 2 yrs of f ing covid, people who might not normally struggle might be and other who struggle normally might struggle more.

Just to reiterate like so many other posts, you are not alone, you can reach out, people will sit up all night listening/helping others.

Please don't suffer.

I suffered and when I reached out to someone they weren't there for me. I vowed to myself I would be there if anyone reached out to me, as being at a very low point with no one there is devastating.

I survived and I'm thankful, I wobble often, these days get less and less.

Xx

"

Great post, thank you for reaching out

I've levelled I guess. Not great but not bad. I'm ok x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

December is officially the worst month of the year for me but I made it. Well done me

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By *lex199169Man
over a year ago

tamworth


"December is officially the worst month of the year for me but I made it. Well done me "

Thanks for this post. I had a right time last year. I’ve been alright recently but you can’t help but to reflect on a new year and really struggled today. I know I’m not alone but you feel like such a island at times like this. It’s great to know people care and if you’re struggling with anything that it’s good to talk.

Good luck to all.

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I spent my life taking care of others, but these last 6 months were very difficult, if not awful.

Thankfully, I’ve found my internal smile again, and things feel like they’re on the up.

Thanks for going there OP x

This is good news "

Is it, means I’ll be back to my old piss taking, wise cracking self. For every yin, there’s a yang!

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Not only have I had darkness, my kids have also been in dark places and 1 has self harmed and tried suicide a few times

I'm not blaming them, but i took it as a failure and then lots of other things, I hit rock bottom.

I'm not a failure as a person, a partner or a friend. I was overwhelmed with lots of things, my bucket was overflowing and i didn't know how to stop it but so wanted to stop.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I think you've made a valuable announcement with your offer of help. Great to see so many people offering to listen, myself included!

I've read some very powerful books on anxiety and trauma, including childhood trauma which may be of some help. Both offer lots of possible treatments and strategies backed by evidence based research.

1 Chatter by Ethan Cross

2 The Body keeps the score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle every year especially at Xmas. Didn't have a nice childhood and when your supposed to have fond memories of Xmas as a kid I have none. So I lock myself away from around the 15th Dec till after New year and just have 2 weeks of being totally low. So I understand how hard Xmas can be and if anyone wants to talk or get anythin off there chest without being judge. I'm a good listener and no need to feel ashamed or feel like your the only 1 cos trust me you ain't.

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By *ocopops1962Man
over a year ago

Glasgow / Lindon

Great post OP and love that you have sparked all this supportive dialogue . It’s strange isn’t it , but chatting to total strangers is what is needed .

Cheers x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Great post OP and love that you have sparked all this supportive dialogue . It’s strange isn’t it , but chatting to total strangers is what is needed .

Cheers x "
its true wot they say when they say...its good to talk

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By *attoo Lover.Man
over a year ago

newcastle

I help others alot to take me away from my own struggles, yet seldom reachout as ive ive been let down lots over the years. So i struggle on behind closed doors and very few know.

Ive vowed to try harder this year and started with this post as this isnt usualy me.

And yes a lovely post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I help others alot to take me away from my own struggles, yet seldom reachout as ive ive been let down lots over the years. So i struggle on behind closed doors and very few know.

Ive vowed to try harder this year and started with this post as this isnt usualy me.

And yes a lovely post. "
I feel for you mate and I dont know if you find this. But im great at givin people advice and makin them feel a it better about themselves. But I cant fix me are you like that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a lovely post.

I have struggled this year as it was my first Christmas and new year alone. I understand how busy everyone is at this time, but not one person I know outside of fab checked in on me. Really got me thinking to be honest! I spent my Christmas day on fab crying into my Christmas dinner for one

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By *j72Man
over a year ago

Trowbridge

What an amazing post, you are truly a wonderful human being. Life has been tough all round, in the space of three years I've lost both parents and a brother, plus lockdown, plus working from home, it all builds up, and sometimes you just don't realise it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a lovely post.

I have struggled this year as it was my first Christmas and new year alone. I understand how busy everyone is at this time, but not one person I know outside of fab checked in on me. Really got me thinking to be honest! I spent my Christmas day on fab crying into my Christmas dinner for one "
mine was the same except I didn't even have a Xmas dinner. And iv learned that I can only rely on myself in this world. Family, friends dont mean nothing cos you can be there for them but are they there for you ? They say they will be but actually actions speak louder than words . But chin up and be strong ??

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By *attoo Lover.Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Cant fix me?... Not even sure if im ready to face up to the fact i could be broken.. Too far for me rn.

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

I've battled hard the past few years. Lost the job I had since leaving school, a year later the ex buggered off with someone from her work, then covid hit & all the lockdown shit happened.

If it inspires others to hang on in there & keep fighting then I'm still here to post this. I still get low, mainly bed times & waking up alone, the kids give me focus & a purpose in life but I don't half miss someone for me.

My unsung hero is a lady friend who is no longer on Fab who I have chatted to throughout on whatsapp. We keep each other going & despite never having met face to face, we are very close. She's my rock & I'd be in a much worse place without her.

Fab is a funny place. It's not all about sex. It's brought me some wonderful friends & I've met some people I'm proud to know & they will hopefully stay that way for life. At times I could have walked away & deleted it but so glad I didn't.

Don't bottle stuff up & don't be afraid to cry. Tears are powerful little things & often shedding a few quietly helps you bounce back stronger after releasing the pressure valve. Hugs to all who are feeling a bit lonely buy don't give up on yourself. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cant fix me?... Not even sure if im ready to face up to the fact i could be broken.. Too far for me rn.

"
no such word as cant mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've battled hard the past few years. Lost the job I had since leaving school, a year later the ex buggered off with someone from her work, then covid hit & all the lockdown shit happened.

If it inspires others to hang on in there & keep fighting then I'm still here to post this. I still get low, mainly bed times & waking up alone, the kids give me focus & a purpose in life but I don't half miss someone for me.

My unsung hero is a lady friend who is no longer on Fab who I have chatted to throughout on whatsapp. We keep each other going & despite never having met face to face, we are very close. She's my rock & I'd be in a much worse place without her.

Fab is a funny place. It's not all about sex. It's brought me some wonderful friends & I've met some people I'm proud to know & they will hopefully stay that way for life. At times I could have walked away & deleted it but so glad I didn't.

Don't bottle stuff up & don't be afraid to cry. Tears are powerful little things & often shedding a few quietly helps you bounce back stronger after releasing the pressure valve. Hugs to all who are feeling a bit lonely buy don't give up on yourself. X "
we are all stronger than we give our selves credit for. Lifes hard and people can be nasty but in a world full of shit you can always find that 1 piece of good when you need it most

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By *attoo Lover.Man
over a year ago

newcastle

I agree, i was quoting the question you asked me originaly... I still have a journey to go thats all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always struggled over Xmas and 2020 really knocked me, I have worked hard over 2021 and I'm doing better, Xmas was lovely this year but been alone last night just floored me. Reached out to a friend about catching up tonight but she has plans. Sometimes I feel I'm there for everyone else but feel like noone there in return.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have always struggled over Xmas and 2020 really knocked me, I have worked hard over 2021 and I'm doing better, Xmas was lovely this year but been alone last night just floored me. Reached out to a friend about catching up tonight but she has plans. Sometimes I feel I'm there for everyone else but feel like noone there in return. Its usually the case

"

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey


"This is a lovely post.

I have struggled this year as it was my first Christmas and new year alone. I understand how busy everyone is at this time, but not one person I know outside of fab checked in on me. Really got me thinking to be honest! I spent my Christmas day on fab crying into my Christmas dinner for one "

Aww hugs, I know that feeling.

Had my kids until lunchtime then they left for the ex's. Went out for a walk then home to an empty house. I'd bought myself a ready meal roast chicken dinner & added some pigs in blankets & made the best of it. It's not nice tho & not how we perceive xmas should be in a perfect world. I welled up a bit when I read what you'd posted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is a lovely post.

I have struggled this year as it was my first Christmas and new year alone. I understand how busy everyone is at this time, but not one person I know outside of fab checked in on me. Really got me thinking to be honest! I spent my Christmas day on fab crying into my Christmas dinner for one "

Ah sending you a big hug xx

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By *ong-leggedblond OP   Woman
over a year ago

Next Door


"This is a lovely post.

I have struggled this year as it was my first Christmas and new year alone. I understand how busy everyone is at this time, but not one person I know outside of fab checked in on me. Really got me thinking to be honest! I spent my Christmas day on fab crying into my Christmas dinner for one "

I am so sorry to hear this, and yes I know exactly how you feel. There for others but no one actually goes are you actually OK.

I'm here if you want to ever off load.

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks Gemma, DD and LLB

I'm always here for anyone who wants to talk too.

Although I understand we can all struggle, I opened my inbox for anyone who wanted to chat on Xmas day and a butt load of men abused it and just used it an excuse to start asking for pics after 2 messages.

So feel free ANYONE to message if you genuinely want to talk xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just find it really hard to talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such a lovely post OP , I’ve had times when I’ve struggled and found it hard to speak with people close to me.

Thankfully I’m doing well at the moment , but it often only takes something very trivial to upset the balance and things spiral downwards.

It’s a phrase used a lot , but it is good to talk, have a rant , whatever works

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just find it really hard to talk "

Always here to just chat bud , never be alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks Gemma, DD and LLB

I'm always here for anyone who wants to talk too.

Although I understand we can all struggle, I opened my inbox for anyone who wanted to chat on Xmas day and a butt load of men abused it and just used it an excuse to start asking for pics after 2 messages.

So feel free ANYONE to message if you genuinely want to talk xx"

Very kind of you to put yourself out there

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By *eardedman7Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I’ve had a shocking 20 months or so but have had people to talk to which I’m so grateful for. I’m always happy to lend and ear to anyone or even meet for a coffee if we are close.

It’s good to be there for each other.

X

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I learned a long time ago not to reach out, keep things very much to myself.

Great post though OP x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I learned a long time ago not to reach out, keep things very much to myself.

Great post though OP x"

That’s sad to hear , dealing with stuff on your own can be extremely hard and can make things worse.. so sorry you feel that you can’t reach out to anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not having the best weekend and reading posts just lifts me a little.

You certainly don't feel as isolated x

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By *eardedman7Man
over a year ago

Berkshire


"I'm not having the best weekend and reading posts just lifts me a little.

You certainly don't feel as isolated x "

Hope you’re ok happy to listen if need be x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not having the best weekend and reading posts just lifts me a little.

You certainly don't feel as isolated x

Hope you’re ok happy to listen if need be x"

Lovely thing to say. Thank you x

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By *attoo Lover.Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Lots of support here, dont feel alone just message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Such a lovely post OP , I’ve had times when I’ve struggled and found it hard to speak with people close to me.

Thankfully I’m doing well at the moment , but it often only takes something very trivial to upset the balance and things spiral downwards.

It’s a phrase used a lot , but it is good to talk, have a rant , whatever works

X

"

This helped me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Such a lovely post OP , I’ve had times when I’ve struggled and found it hard to speak with people close to me.

Thankfully I’m doing well at the moment , but it often only takes something very trivial to upset the balance and things spiral downwards.

It’s a phrase used a lot , but it is good to talk, have a rant , whatever works

X

This helped me. "

I’m glad to hear that , it’s so important to also tell people how you feel , I was shocked and sad I’d not noticed , when speaking with my mother over Christmas that she is presently feeling low and depressed and I should have seen the signs .. but she found comfort in me just talking about how I had felt and how she felt now , I suppose when your in the situation , you think it’s just you , and your broken. But to know others are feeling the same seems to help , as you realise your not alone..

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

2022 certainly feels like it has little promise so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is such a lovely post OP. Got me welling up here with the reply posts too and reminds me that there are kind compassionate people around.

I'm willing to lend a supportive ear too, although, I'm not that great with words...I am a good listener

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All back to the same

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Thank you for holding a space for me to share how I’m feeling.

I’m finding this last couple of days really hard. I was made redundant before Christmas and it always feels like a dream to not have to get up and go to work but I actually feel quite lost and struggling with motivation to do anything (it doesn’t help that it’s cold outside and warmer staying in the house)

Also I’m finding this transition is making me feel a little bit lonely too. I live on my own and I’ve been single for 9 years and going through this stuff makes me wish I had a partner to just hold me for a little while and tell me new things are coming and they’ll be amazing opportunities. Of course I do have a great circle of friends and family who are supporting me but it’s not the same feeling as a partnership person’s support.

I’ve worked really hard to be happy as a woman who is alone in life without a romantic relationship and I just don’t want all this to set me back into old mental health habits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you for holding a space for me to share how I’m feeling.

I’m finding this last couple of days really hard. I was made redundant before Christmas and it always feels like a dream to not have to get up and go to work but I actually feel quite lost and struggling with motivation to do anything (it doesn’t help that it’s cold outside and warmer staying in the house)

Also I’m finding this transition is making me feel a little bit lonely too. I live on my own and I’ve been single for 9 years and going through this stuff makes me wish I had a partner to just hold me for a little while and tell me new things are coming and they’ll be amazing opportunities. Of course I do have a great circle of friends and family who are supporting me but it’s not the same feeling as a partnership person’s support.

I’ve worked really hard to be happy as a woman who is alone in life without a romantic relationship and I just don’t want all this to set me back into old mental health habits. "

Hi _adybugs - it horrible being made redundant, but it is imperative that you find something to get you out of bed in the mornings. I work away and have 3 weeks home at a time. I had nothing to get up for on those 3 weeks and was wasting my days away, so I started fitting windows for my joiner pal just to force me out of bed, otherwise I would still be there at noon each day, and that's not a good habit to get into! Of course you probably want to find another job and that alone is worth getting up early in the morning for. Start each day applying an looking - you'll find something soon I'm sure!! You've got good friends and family, so you'll be back on top before you know it I'm not sure if this is good advice, but take up one of the many offers I you must get each day on here; there must be a decent one amongst them that will gladly listen and hold you, not just be looking for a quick good time. Even just the social aspect and excitement of an initial meet should give you something to look forward to and cheer yoy up a bit. I hope you get through this very soon!!

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey


"Thank you for holding a space for me to share how I’m feeling.

I’m finding this last couple of days really hard. I was made redundant before Christmas and it always feels like a dream to not have to get up and go to work but I actually feel quite lost and struggling with motivation to do anything (it doesn’t help that it’s cold outside and warmer staying in the house)

Also I’m finding this transition is making me feel a little bit lonely too. I live on my own and I’ve been single for 9 years and going through this stuff makes me wish I had a partner to just hold me for a little while and tell me new things are coming and they’ll be amazing opportunities. Of course I do have a great circle of friends and family who are supporting me but it’s not the same feeling as a partnership person’s support.

I’ve worked really hard to be happy as a woman who is alone in life without a romantic relationship and I just don’t want all this to set me back into old mental health habits. "

We all need routine & purpose even if we say we hate work & I totally get how you feel. During first lockdown I made myself little lists of jobs to do each day round the house just to make me get out of bed & feel like I'd done something worthwhile & not wasted the day. Anything like clean out some cupboards, clean the windows, low cost but building self esteem & a sense of pride. Some days i failed & shed a few tears but its ok & you bounce back stronger. Make sure you get a walk in if the weather's good enough & keep your mind clear. It all helps mentally.

You may not solve anything as such but it de-fogs the brain a lot.

I've been divorced over 2 years & while I'm more used to it now, it's been tough. Like you there's times I crave a hug, a sounding board, a second opinion, more hugs, reassurance over doubt, someone to do something for, conversation & laughter, and did I mention hugs lol. My arms have never felt so empty & I'm half scared when I do get a hug I won't wanna let go & for it to finish. I think there's a lot of us here feeling just the same

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito


"Thank you for holding a space for me to share how I’m feeling.

I’m finding this last couple of days really hard. I was made redundant before Christmas and it always feels like a dream to not have to get up and go to work but I actually feel quite lost and struggling with motivation to do anything (it doesn’t help that it’s cold outside and warmer staying in the house)

Also I’m finding this transition is making me feel a little bit lonely too. I live on my own and I’ve been single for 9 years and going through this stuff makes me wish I had a partner to just hold me for a little while and tell me new things are coming and they’ll be amazing opportunities. Of course I do have a great circle of friends and family who are supporting me but it’s not the same feeling as a partnership person’s support.

I’ve worked really hard to be happy as a woman who is alone in life without a romantic relationship and I just don’t want all this to set me back into old mental health habits.

Hi _adybugs - it horrible being made redundant, but it is imperative that you find something to get you out of bed in the mornings. I work away and have 3 weeks home at a time. I had nothing to get up for on those 3 weeks and was wasting my days away, so I started fitting windows for my joiner pal just to force me out of bed, otherwise I would still be there at noon each day, and that's not a good habit to get into! Of course you probably want to find another job and that alone is worth getting up early in the morning for. Start each day applying an looking - you'll find something soon I'm sure!! You've got good friends and family, so you'll be back on top before you know it I'm not sure if this is good advice, but take up one of the many offers I you must get each day on here; there must be a decent one amongst them that will gladly listen and hold you, not just be looking for a quick good time. Even just the social aspect and excitement of an initial meet should give you something to look forward to and cheer yoy up a bit. I hope you get through this very soon!!"

Awww thank you so much for the advice

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito


"Thank you for holding a space for me to share how I’m feeling.

I’m finding this last couple of days really hard. I was made redundant before Christmas and it always feels like a dream to not have to get up and go to work but I actually feel quite lost and struggling with motivation to do anything (it doesn’t help that it’s cold outside and warmer staying in the house)

Also I’m finding this transition is making me feel a little bit lonely too. I live on my own and I’ve been single for 9 years and going through this stuff makes me wish I had a partner to just hold me for a little while and tell me new things are coming and they’ll be amazing opportunities. Of course I do have a great circle of friends and family who are supporting me but it’s not the same feeling as a partnership person’s support.

I’ve worked really hard to be happy as a woman who is alone in life without a romantic relationship and I just don’t want all this to set me back into old mental health habits.

We all need routine & purpose even if we say we hate work & I totally get how you feel. During first lockdown I made myself little lists of jobs to do each day round the house just to make me get out of bed & feel like I'd done something worthwhile & not wasted the day. Anything like clean out some cupboards, clean the windows, low cost but building self esteem & a sense of pride. Some days i failed & shed a few tears but its ok & you bounce back stronger. Make sure you get a walk in if the weather's good enough & keep your mind clear. It all helps mentally.

You may not solve anything as such but it de-fogs the brain a lot.

I've been divorced over 2 years & while I'm more used to it now, it's been tough. Like you there's times I crave a hug, a sounding board, a second opinion, more hugs, reassurance over doubt, someone to do something for, conversation & laughter, and did I mention hugs lol. My arms have never felt so empty & I'm half scared when I do get a hug I won't wanna let go & for it to finish. I think there's a lot of us here feeling just the same "

Thank you

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