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By *els_Bells OP   Woman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Do you find it interestng how some come across all confident in their posts on here, then when you look deeper, you find they are/seem actually a bit rattled at times?

I admit to being a people watcher and I am far from confident. But, as I have been told (lots of times to stop analysing things, I cant help it!) I do look at people's messages/posts and think, hmmm are you as secure as you try to put across on here, or do you give mixed signals?

I admit, i am not fond of the whole 'look at meeeeee now' kinda thread, but following on from Pearl's 'unsure of oneself' thread made me think.

Are some posters (naming no names obviously) wanting a bit more or justfication for their looks (justifitcation maybe the wrong term, maybe reassurance is better) or personality.

As I have seen many posts saying, some just like to post to be noticed, but. Have also seen posts saying, you just have a voice your own self loves (in a nice way!)

No offence by this post, just typing as I think! What are you?

I like to think Im a poster who says what she thinks, but sometime in the past I have liked/appreciated some kind of reassurance, I admit it.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I certainly think that forums can give some people a bit more confidence. It maybe that in a live situation they may fear being interrupted or put on the spot with no time to fashion a well thought out response.

Having said that, a lot of threads are a load of cobblers anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the forums, they give me insight and conversation from a wide range of _iews, my posts tend to vary from the attempt to be helpful, to the one liner of whatever random thought made me smile whilst reading, other times my reply's get deleted before posting as I realize I don't have a clue what I am trying to say...

But mostly I just post complete bollox for the shear hell of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to know how I come across really cos I try and be funny but think I come over as a bit ditzy and yeah totally agree most people lack some self confidence at some point, whether it is posting on here or in speech at times - I come back to see wot reaction my posts have got ..........

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By *els_Bells OP   Woman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

I do like the forums (or I wouldnt be here )

But, what Im getting at, I guess, is have you noticed people (not namng names or wanting a bitch fest etc) who come across really confident on one post, for an example (not true to life, well not that I have searched) says "yeah, im gonna have my sexy hot arse in the sunshine air tomorrow and getting fucked, left right n centre!" Then proceed on another thread, a good few hours later saying "my spotty ugly arse got rained on. And no one likes me, but will give a blow job/go down on to anyone in the next 100 miles who may pay me a bit of a compliment?!"

Sorry, sounds dead bitchy, but im over exaggerating (hopefully!)

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By *els_Bells OP   Woman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc


"I would love to know how I come across really cos I try and be funny but think I come over as a bit ditzy and yeah totally agree most people lack some self confidence at some point, whether it is posting on here or in speech at times - I come back to see wot reaction my posts have got .......... "

To me you come across as away with the fairies, but in a good way. X

I am not getting at ANYONE. So please dont misunerstand my post. Ii admit I over analyse, and more than likely in the wrong way, I was just curious as to how you see yourselves and others without naming names or beng bitchy/nasty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would love to know how I come across really cos I try and be funny but think I come over as a bit ditzy and yeah totally agree most people lack some self confidence at some point, whether it is posting on here or in speech at times - I come back to see wot reaction my posts have got ..........

To me you come across as away with the fairies, but in a good way. X

I am not getting at ANYONE. So please dont misunerstand my post. Ii admit I over analyse, and more than likely in the wrong way, I was just curious as to how you see yourselves and others without naming names or beng bitchy/nasty."

its ok wouldnt take offence to that lol I dont actually think any of us see ourselves as others see us - and yeah can understand why u think I am away with the fairies at times - possibly this week and deffo one post last week ............ so my bit ditzy bit was probably right lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone said earlier (Cali, I think), small things can sometimes really knock someone's self-confidence and totally change their mood. Perhaps that can explain the shift in the tone of posts made a couple of hours apart. Some people have more mood shifts, and more often that others, and some are more vocal about it. Some keep quiet, "fake it until they make it" and wait for the bad feelings to pass. They don't necessarily feel a lack of self-confidence less often, they just know it will not last and wait it out.

It could also come down to different types of confidence. Someone could be extremely confident about how they look, but less so in a business environment, or they may confident in their academic ability but see themselves as ugly. How a person will present will depend on how they feel at the time, the environment they're in and what they've experienced recently.

Personally I like the daft threads here and some of the interesting ones are...er...interesting, but ultimately most of the forum members are a bunch of pixels on a screen to me. Unless I am in a particularly sensitive state, nobody here can do much to alter my self-confidence either negatively or positively, not for ant significant amount of time.

I certainly wonder sometimes what is *really* going on behind some of the internet personae on here sometimes. Then again, I don't always know what's going on in my own head.

If it helps someone, in whatever way, to portray themself as something they aren't, and it doesn't hurt anyone else, why not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would love to know how I come across really cos I try and be funny but think I come over as a bit ditzy and yeah totally agree most people lack some self confidence at some point, whether it is posting on here or in speech at times - I come back to see wot reaction my posts have got ..........

To me you come across as away with the fairies, but in a good way. X

I am not getting at ANYONE. So please dont misunerstand my post. Ii admit I over analyse, and more than likely in the wrong way, I was just curious as to how you see yourselves and others without naming names or beng bitchy/nasty.

its ok wouldnt take offence to that lol I dont actually think any of us see ourselves as others see us - and yeah can understand why u think I am away with the fairies at times - possibly this week and deffo one post last week ............ so my bit ditzy bit was probably right lol xx "

There's nothing wrong with ditzy. Have fun, let the buggers underestimate you and then you can really smack them hard when you need to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I post depending on how i feel at the time.. i have low moods where i might need a mini boost and there are times when im feeling great about myself. i make no excuses for it.. there is lots emotionally going on in my life and fabs to me is a refreshing escape of reality.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I posted the following on the confidence thread....

'I don't believe the level of confidence is as high as people make out.. You only have to read the posts to get a _iew of the swinging community.

Reassurance after reassurance after more reassurance.'

The forums work well to help boost people's self belief and that is a good thing, it should not be the only coping strategy.. and if people identify that they are struggling with confidence, they MAY need to seek professional help as well.

Swinging can help, it can also cause additional impact.

I think the forums are very light hearted right now and if that helps people, all good.

I wish all well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has self-doubts from time to time, even for those who are usually confident in themselves.

In certain aspects of my life, I know I am good, very good in fact, and I don't care who knows about it, or disagrees with me, because I am that confident in my abilities.

I still have self-doubts from time to time in one particular aspect. However, I am not going to over-analyse it, as at the end of the day, if I am not someone's cup of tea and do not push the right buttons for that person, then there is not a lot I can do to change that.

Move on and find someone who can better appreciate my finer qualities I'd say!

Now find me a double door wide enough for my head to pass through please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm quietly self assured. My age and life experiences have made me so.

When posting on the forums I attempt to get my statements across with humour and diplomacy. However there are moments, as in life, I get the bit between my teeth and won't back down when defending my corner.

I Hope I come across as open to others thoughts and opinions.

I very often will read some posts and I'm guilty of thinking to myself, bless they are young, naive, they are rash and enthusiastic, they will change with age and experiences as I have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I very often will read some posts and I'm guilty of thinking to myself, bless they are young, naive, they are rash and enthusiastic, they will change with age and experiences as I have.

"

.

So true!

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

*bless they are young, naive, they are enthusiastic,

That sentence sums up my first sexual experience ... thankfully I've not had the rash....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"*bless they are young, naive, they are enthusiastic,

That sentence sums up my first sexual experience ... thankfully I've not had the rash....

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

best not come on here if yer feeling delicate. When I'm absent, I am.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

'When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead' - Barney Stinson

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I like to think i post (hopefully with success most of the time) without anyone knowing how i am feeling. We all have self doubt from time to time, but some come on and confess, make out they are super confident when you know they are not really like that at all. I have more time for people that honestly say they are not confident than those that attention seek looking for false flattery/fawning or a false ego boost.

I know sometimes its hard for me to hide my illness on here but i do the best i can, i certainly dont really need false ego boosts.

However, the wonderful friends i do have on here chat to me via pm and without them sometimes i would fall to pieces

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Awww shurruppp woman, you know you're pisces

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

I like to think Im a poster who says what she thinks, but sometime in the past I have liked/appreciated some kind of reassurance, I admit it."
Nothing wrong with wanting feedback - it is a natural human need and helpful in becoming more self aware. Admitting to that(or any other) need is a sign of inner strength in my world.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Do you find it interestng how some come across all confident in their posts on here, then when you look deeper, you find they are/seem actually a bit rattled at times?

I admit to being a people watcher and I am far from confident. But, as I have been told (lots of times to stop analysing things, I cant help it!) I do look at people's messages/posts and think, hmmm are you as secure as you try to put across on here, or do you give mixed signals?

I admit, i am not fond of the whole 'look at meeeeee now' kinda thread, but following on from Pearl's 'unsure of oneself' thread made me think.

Are some posters (naming no names obviously) wanting a bit more or justfication for their looks (justifitcation maybe the wrong term, maybe reassurance is better) or personality.

As I have seen many posts saying, some just like to post to be noticed, but. Have also seen posts saying, you just have a voice your own self loves (in a nice way!)

No offence by this post, just typing as I think! What are you?

I like to think Im a poster who says what she thinks, but sometime in the past I have liked/appreciated some kind of reassurance, I admit it."
Im a take me or leave me kinda woman, i am straight talking mostly and say what i think, unless i feel it will get me a ban on the forums then i keep me cakehole shut.

All the fun of the forums...some i would do anything to help or console, some i wouldnt piss on if they were on fire. ( And no i dont like watersports)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone actually mailed me after seeing my posts on the Forums...

Gives people a bit more insight into your persona

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Someone actually mailed me after seeing my posts on the Forums...

Gives people a bit more insight into your persona"
Did you have to tell everybody about us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would I ever disclose in a public forum our secret liasons???

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Would I ever disclose in a public forum our secret liasons???

"
It did rather surpise me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would I ever disclose in a public forum our secret liasons???

It did rather surpise me "

Aphrodite you are my naughty little secret! Well you were til we posted on here xxxx

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Would I ever disclose in a public forum our secret liasons???

It did rather surpise me

Aphrodite you are my naughty little secret! Well you were til we posted on here xxxx"
Please dont tell me I have ruined a beautiful relationship ...;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would I ever disclose in a public forum our secret liasons???

It did rather surpise me

Aphrodite you are my naughty little secret! Well you were til we posted on here xxxxPlease dont tell me I have ruined a beautiful relationship ...;-)"

You can redeem yourself by letting me have the last word!!!!!!

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