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Measuring Up

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

So as you do at Christmas, we pulled the traditional crackers and K received a nice little gift: a tape measure. To which she gave me *that* look

Now heading to the shower this morning she threw it at me and said "take some pictures". Now I'm sat here wondering, what can I do with it. I'd never be so crass as to just whack my dick out next to a tape measure So I need some imaginative ideas...

Any help Fabbers?

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Measure the shower gel

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Tie it in a bow around your testicles

Round your neck as a collar

Next to your feet - since you know what they say about men with big feet (large shoes usually)

Look forward to the results

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you’ve got a tiny tape measure op, don’t worry, it’s what you do with it that counts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh just measure it

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Measure your Lynx can!

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By *imbob85Man
over a year ago

inverness

Going by fab measurements you start measureing from the 5 inch mark lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Measure it like a cat's tail, ie start from the arsehole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coil the tape from the base up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't measure it, just see if you can balance tape measure on end of it

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Tie it in a bow around your testicles

Round your neck as a collar

Next to your feet - since you know what they say about men with big feet (large shoes usually)

Look forward to the results "

Now the neck one's an interesting ides! What do they say about men with below average feet?

LvM

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"So you’ve got a tiny tape measure op, don’t worry, it’s what you do with it that counts. "

Good point, I haven't even confirmed it against a known good!

LvM

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Measure up to see how many people you can fit in your shower?

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Oh just measure it "

Perve

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take pics of you getting it ‘up to speed’ in the shower for K, then measure it, place the tape measure between K’s fabulous tits and take a pic

D.

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Going by fab measurements you start measureing from the 5 inch mark lol "

Thanks for the tip

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slap it beside Big Harold's then reconsider taking a photo.

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Coil the tape from the base up "

Now there's an idea

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cover your junk in paint.. press it on a bit of paper.. or the mrs’s arse cheek.. and measure the imprint

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Take pics of you getting it ‘up to speed’ in the shower for K, then measure it, place the tape measure between K’s fabulous tits and take a pic

D. "

Is this you or Jo asking? Nice idea either way

LvM

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Slap it beside Big Harold's then reconsider taking a photo.

"

LvM

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By *heVonMatterhorns OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"Cover your junk in paint.. press it on a bit of paper.. or the mrs’s arse cheek.. and measure the imprint "

Oooh very artistic Plus the paint "squish" will probably give me a bit more girth and maybe half an inch at the top on the print

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cover your junk in paint.. press it on a bit of paper.. or the mrs’s arse cheek.. and measure the imprint

Oooh very artistic Plus the paint "squish" will probably give me a bit more girth and maybe half an inch at the top on the print

LvM"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Take pics of you getting it ‘up to speed’ in the shower for K, then measure it, place the tape measure between K’s fabulous tits and take a pic

D.

Is this you or Jo asking? Nice idea either way

LvM"

I definitely want to see K’s tits!! Jo would definitely be asking for some of the shower pics though

D.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Measure her hips and see if she loses interest..

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Stick it up your ass and wave it about like a butt plug tail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Measure a sky remote ...

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

You sure she don't want you to measure up for a new bathroom?

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I was so excited about my cracker gift a screwdriver with interchangeable heads I really need to get out more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I was so excited about my cracker gift a screwdriver with interchangeable heads I really need to get out more "

[Setup] Philips ?

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas


"

I was so excited about my cracker gift a screwdriver with interchangeable heads I really need to get out more

[Setup] Philips ?"

it even has a scratch awl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Insert tape measure in Mrs fanny then insert cock and see where pre cum is stuck to tape measure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Measure the diameter of your butt hole

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"So you’ve got a tiny tape measure op, don’t worry, it’s what you do with it that counts. "

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Measure the diameter of your butt hole "

Noooooo

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By *eauNaturelMan
over a year ago

Malmesbury

Measure your penis and several other parts of your body, then, produce mathematical equations to explain the relationship of each part to your penis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Throw it back and tell her if she wants it measured to do it herself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I was so excited about my cracker gift a screwdriver with interchangeable heads I really need to get out more

[Setup] Philips ?

it even has a scratch awl "

Well that missed. The answer you were looking for is

[Punchline] no, it's mine.

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By *wistedsaintMan
over a year ago

Hotel Near You

I've never measured - but now this thread is making me think of what you could measure to find the same length...

Distance between eyes...

Elbow to tip of thumb

Forehead to chin

Ear to ear

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