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Chatting in the real world

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’ve been chatting with a woman on social media, I friend requested her and it’s gone on from there. It’s just been casual chat so far but I really like her and would love to take her out for a coffee but I don’t want to scare her off by coming on too strong and I’m also scared that she’ll say no. How do I gauge if she likes me enough to want to go on a date with me?

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By *ocktailsdreamsMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You could never come on too strong its not in your nature.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You could never come on too strong its not in your nature. "

I just meant that by asking her out for a coffee would be coming on too strong as I may have the wrong impression and she doesn’t see it as anything more than 2 people chatting and has no intention of it ever being anything more. If I ask her out then she may stop talking to me altogether.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"You could never come on too strong its not in your nature.

I just meant that by asking her out for a coffee would be coming on too strong as I may have the wrong impression and she doesn’t see it as anything more than 2 people chatting and has no intention of it ever being anything more. If I ask her out then she may stop talking to me altogether. "

Its a risk only you can decide to take, what's more important to you. Her friendship or her interest in you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you're overthinking

It's a coffee (and hopefully cake)

Friends meet for coffee

It's an ice breaker

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Don't make it a date as such sissy.

Mention that you are going for a coffee while you are out doing other things and ask if she'd like to meet for half an hour.

If she's not local to you , you may have to just ask her for a coffee for half an hour no more.

Gives you both a chance to suss each other without 'date' pressure.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I think you're overthinking

It's a coffee (and hopefully cake)

Friends meet for coffee

It's an ice breaker "

what kind of cake Bussy ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Hi. I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you, and wondered if you’d be interested in moving it to a real life meet at any point. The coffee and cake would be on me! Absolutely no pressure though, and I won’t mention it again if you don’t fancy it. I’m happy with whatever makes you comfortable.”

How’s that? Good luck! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve been chatting with a woman on social media, I friend requested her and it’s gone on from there. It’s just been casual chat so far but I really like her and would love to take her out for a coffee but I don’t want to scare her off by coming on too strong and I’m also scared that she’ll say no. How do I gauge if she likes me enough to want to go on a date with me?"

I see what you are doing and it really isn't healthy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you're overthinking

It's a coffee (and hopefully cake)

Friends meet for coffee

It's an ice breaker

what kind of cake Bussy ?"

Do I look like I'm fussy about cake Granny?

Although coffee & walnut is the divisive one

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By *ickJMan
over a year ago

Hemel Hempstead

I'd advise pretty much exactly what Dieu said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I'm a fairly direct type, so I'd probably just ask rather than hinting around it - I'd rather know.

"Fancy grabbing coffee sometime?" is my go-to, leave the time and date and place to their convenience, then their reaction gives a good gauge of whether they're interested.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Don't wait o/p...go for it and ask her out for that coffee. 'He who hesitates is lost' as the saying goes.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

It's a coffee not a marriage proposal. But in all seriousness it's not even a dinner date, to me it's an informal social with someone you like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me. "

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this "

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious. "

Really? If you’ve bothered to read the relevant thread, then maybe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious. "

I wasn't aware of the other thread until it read mentioned here.

I thought it was a genuine post and was about to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious.

Really? If you’ve bothered to read the relevant thread, then maybe."

I had read the other thread, and it was obvious what this one was.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me. "

•

Huh??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious.

I wasn't aware of the other thread until it read mentioned here.

I thought it was a genuine post and was about to reply."

Same. I’d never knowingly reply on a post that was deliberately intended to antagonise.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious.

I wasn't aware of the other thread until it read mentioned here.

I thought it was a genuine post and was about to reply.

Same. I’d never knowingly reply on a post that was deliberately intended to antagonise."

Same, but I don't tend to read entire threads before posting. And I know I certainly don't read all the threads running either just in case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve been chatting with a woman on social media, I friend requested her and it’s gone on from there. It’s just been casual chat so far but I really like her and would love to take her out for a coffee but I don’t want to scare her off by coming on too strong and I’m also scared that she’ll say no. How do I gauge if she likes me enough to want to go on a date with me?"

Genuine advice for the health and safety if the woman in question. I would point her at this thread and other than you’ve been heavily engaged in last nigh and then she can decide if a social would be a wise move.

Wishing you all the best with meeting in the real world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious.

I wasn't aware of the other thread until it read mentioned here.

I thought it was a genuine post and was about to reply.

Same. I’d never knowingly reply on a post that was deliberately intended to antagonise.

Same, but I don't tend to read entire threads before posting. And I know I certainly don't read all the threads running either just in case.

"

I’m not saying others should have known, but having read the other thread, it was obvious to me.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious.

I wasn't aware of the other thread until it read mentioned here.

I thought it was a genuine post and was about to reply.

Same. I’d never knowingly reply on a post that was deliberately intended to antagonise.

Same, but I don't tend to read entire threads before posting. And I know I certainly don't read all the threads running either just in case.

I’m not saying others should have known, but having read the other thread, it was obvious to me. "

Oh that wasn't criticism of you lovely. Just I personally find it confusing when things like this happen because I then feel bad for something totally innocent I've done. And then have to go and find what on earth is going on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not just you! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious.

I wasn't aware of the other thread until it read mentioned here.

I thought it was a genuine post and was about to reply.

Same. I’d never knowingly reply on a post that was deliberately intended to antagonise.

Same, but I don't tend to read entire threads before posting. And I know I certainly don't read all the threads running either just in case.

I’m not saying others should have known, but having read the other thread, it was obvious to me.

Oh that wasn't criticism of you lovely. Just I personally find it confusing when things like this happen because I then feel bad for something totally innocent I've done. And then have to go and find what on earth is going on. "

Taken in isolation and in good faith the the intent behind the thread could not have been determined. And wince the other thread’s content came amour in the small hours it is quite understandable that most forum readers might have missed it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can people not pay attention or waste your advice on this thread, it’s purely done to take the piss out of me gf or my thread if you read what the op was saying lastnight on my thread you’ll know this is fine just to antagonise me.

Not all of us would have been remotely aware of this

I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious.

I wasn't aware of the other thread until it read mentioned here.

I thought it was a genuine post and was about to reply.

Same. I’d never knowingly reply on a post that was deliberately intended to antagonise.

Same, but I don't tend to read entire threads before posting. And I know I certainly don't read all the threads running either just in case.

I’m not saying others should have known, but having read the other thread, it was obvious to me.

Oh that wasn't criticism of you lovely. Just I personally find it confusing when things like this happen because I then feel bad for something totally innocent I've done. And then have to go and find what on earth is going on. "

I know lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you fancy grabbing a coffee sometime? Completely up to you and no pressure either way.

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