FabSwingers.com forum: Let down

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well after being stood up last night at a arranged meet with a lady from here, I wounded how often this sort of thing happens? Are people stood up a lot on here?

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

yep.. seems so . read all the many threads on timewasters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive had it before chick............you move on. ive been quite lucky really, people ive spoken to and arranged to meet have been good people........

unfortunately it does happen xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive had it before chick............you move on. ive been quite lucky really, people ive spoken to and arranged to meet have been good people........

unfortunately it does happen xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's bloody annoying after putting in such a effort and sorting a hotel lol. Oh we'll her loss I guess I was horny as fook lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say not to book a hotel unless you are sure they will turn up or have a plan b or plan c.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Don't forget to report the profile if you are being let down before you block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well after being stood up last night at a arranged meet with a lady from here, I wounded how often this sort of thing happens? Are people stood up a lot on here?

It happens on a daily basis, recently ive had around 8 or 9 let downs, some don't even let you know! Trick is not to let it get to you. Weekends are prime 'timewaster territory' There are plenty of genuine people on here though, just need to find them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive only had two no shows in 11 years of doing this, one was a single guy one was a couple, so not done to bad really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's bloody annoying after putting in such a effort and sorting a hotel lol. Oh we'll her loss I guess I was horny as fook lol

not really, if she wanted to meet you she would have turned up. she didnt show cause she didnt want to so how is it her loss?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't forget to report the profile if you are being let down before you block

What is actually done about profiles reported as no shows?

I ask because when someone posted about a meet ignoring her limits and I said to report the profile (in case the person made a habit of it), you asked what I would expect Admin to do, (as it is her word against his).

I've been let down a couple of times but I've never reported a profile for it as I don't see what could/would be done.

Surely a no-show is one party's word against another?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's bloody annoying after putting in such a effort and sorting a hotel lol. Oh we'll her loss I guess I was horny as fook lol

not really, if she wanted to meet you she would have turned up. she didnt show cause she didnt want to so how is it her loss?

Because I could of gone all night lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Don't forget to report the profile if you are being let down before you block

What is actually done about profiles reported as no shows?

I've been let down a couple of times but I've never reported a profile for it as I don't see what could/would be done.

Surely a no-show is one party's word against another?"

There would be no evidence on the site that someone shoved a finger up anothers arse on a meet, and unless Admin are going to babysit every meet then they won't know if the story is true or not.

Evidence of arranged meets/ patterns etc on the site might be enough evidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even if they are banned they can still re join on a new user name, so to be honest i cant see the point in reporting them either

Id sooner them stay with the same user name so i dont start talking to them again on a new name, if i get a guy who lets me down regular or i meet them and they are not really nice people i will mail all my female friends on here and just give them his name and tell them to watch out for him, and ive had a few women do that to me too, to not ban them works better as then everyone knows their name and to watch out rather than them re joining every time they are banned on a new name, what a lot of guys dont realise is women on here talk to each other so you let one down the chances are you've buggered yourself for meeting lots of other women too

Of course i know women and couples let people down too but i only meet men so i can only talk from my point of view

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even if they are banned they can still re join on a new user name, so to be honest i cant see the point in reporting them either

Of course i know women and couples let people down too but i only meet men so i can only talk from my point of view"

Totally agree

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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago

Midlothian

Never been let down + never let anybody else down.....think cause we don't do short notice meets,unless for re-peat play

, + chat for sometime,we good @ sorting the timewasters out b4 planning to meet, some of our friends have bn let down by both sngl.+ cpls.......we do read veri's says a lot if genuine players or not!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well after being stood up last night at a arranged meet with a lady from here, I wounded how often this sort of thing happens? Are people stood up a lot on here?

Yes and theres probably hundreds of threads saying the same.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm just trying to get a meet at the end of the day, and get varified. I'd chatted for a while this this lady and built up to lastnight and with out warning it's a no show then I check today and the profile is gone! Now I'm thinking its less a genuine bottle out or a creepy guy pretending to be a lady!?! I'm don't see much point in reporting it but it has annoyed me a tad but oh we'll such is life lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Even if they are banned they can still re join on a new user name, so to be honest i cant see the point in reporting them either

Of course i know women and couples let people down too but i only meet men so i can only talk from my point of view"

This makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had you actually spoken to 'her'?? Its all very well chatting through emails etc but I'd suggest you have a telephone chat in the future x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd say not to book a hotel unless you are sure they will turn up or have a plan b or plan c.

Lesson learnt lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Had you actually spoken to 'her'?? Its all very well chatting through emails etc but I'd suggest you have a telephone chat in the future x "

Well we chatted by text on phone, she allways said she couldn't answer phone because husband would hear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You took a gamble & it didn't pay off… insist on speaking next time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What gets me is the pure fantasist's who do all the chasing agree a meet and dont show grrr x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll get a nose for sorting out the ones who won't meet and with practice know the kind of person you're dealing with straightaway.

Makes it harder for everyone because of the 'one bitten twice shy' approach people have to take because of no-shows, but better luck this time round.

Wolf

ps. We always report anyone who has exchanged details, fixed a date and not shown.. if everyone didn't report them, they'd get away with it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You took a gamble & it didn't pay off… insist on speaking next time!

Speaking to someone is still not a guarantee they could still say I will be there and not show. Some feckers just like the attention I reckon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it happens alot ive had it happen to myself a few times, even after chating on the phone etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe it is not unreasonable for me to reserve the right to pull out if a meet at the last minute if something about the person or the arrangement bothers me.

I would cough up my share of the expenses (proof of spending required).

I have not been let down and have yet to let anyone down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might cost more but take the nativity approach perhaps? Mary Joseph and 3 wise swingers looking for a room on the day of the meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It might cost more but take the nativity approach perhaps? Mary Joseph and 3 wise swingers looking for a room on the day of the meet

I like that theory lol

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"It might cost more but take the nativity approach perhaps? Mary Joseph and 3 wise swingers looking for a room on the day of the meet

They always say threes the charm!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Had you actually spoken to 'her'?? Its all very well chatting through emails etc but I'd suggest you have a telephone chat in the future x

Well we chatted by text on phone, she allways said she couldn't answer phone because husband would hear

Theres the biggest mistake....I would say always chat to the person to make sure they are female, and if thy won't for whatever reason then say bye bye and definitely not book a hotel on the strength of a text.

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By *illow PimpMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

"Had you actually spoken to 'her'?? Its all very well chatting through emails etc but I'd suggest you have a telephone chat in the future x

Well we chatted by text on phone, she allways said she couldn't answer phone because husband would hear

Spot on ruggers, i always insist on a quick phone chat before even getting into the text exchanges, my system never lets me down tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had you actually spoken to 'her'?? Its all very well chatting through emails etc but I'd suggest you have a telephone chat in the future x

Well we chatted by text on phone, she allways said she couldn't answer phone because husband would hear

Often the sign of a man pretending to be a woman.

I can't always talk on the 'phone if asked, but I can always give a time I can (e.g. through the day - and it's easy enough to make a quick call one lunchtime, or by arranging to be somewhere with some privacy).

I know there are loads of fakes out there and I'm happy to set a meets mind to rest by speaking to them. I won't do long calls, or discuss what I'm going to do, or do any sort of phone sex. However, a quick chat to prove I am female is fine.

I'd be suspicious of any "female" who refuses to speak to you but agrees to a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say 50/50 for me. Half turn up. Half just stop answering your messages an hour before due.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently stopped chatting to a couple about meeting because they were unverified and wouldn't speak to me by 'phone ('too busy with work engagements' one week and then agreed to call on weekend, took my number and never did).

They've since been verified and are apparently a real couple but they wouldn't speak to me, so I conclude they were not that serious about meeting me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't forget to report the profile if you are being let down before you block

What is actually done about profiles reported as no shows?

I've been let down a couple of times but I've never reported a profile for it as I don't see what could/would be done.

Surely a no-show is one party's word against another?

There would be no evidence on the site that someone shoved a finger up anothers arse on a meet, and unless Admin are going to babysit every meet then they won't know if the story is true or not.

Evidence of arranged meets/ patterns etc on the site might be enough evidence."

How would Admin know if the meet had been cancelled for a valid reason with notice given by phone or text?

Why would a pattern of letting people down matter if a pattern of reports of inappropriate behaviour on meets wouldn't?

Has anyone actually been banned from the site on the basis of their profile being reported for "no shows"?

I'm with Nymphos. They'd only reincarnate. Since this seems to be the main reason for not implementing a 'Timewaster' feedback system, I honestly can't see the point of reporting them, and I'll continue not to whilst that's the case.

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By *hynottsCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

all ways show for a meet play or no play but we have had lots that dont showup part of fab life we think

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Evidence of arranged meets/ patterns etc on the site might be enough evidence.

How would Admin know if the meet had been cancelled for a valid reason with notice given by phone or text?

Why would a pattern of letting people down matter if a pattern of reports of inappropriate behaviour on meets wouldn't?

Has anyone actually been banned from the site on the basis of their profile being reported for "no shows"?

I can't answer how Admin deal with the reports or what evidence is needed to disable someone for being an out an out timewaster....you would have to ask them yourself, but I am guessing they wouldn't want to give too much information on it as then the timewasters would know how to get round things.

I was just answering your question that you could have asked on the thread itself at the time but you chose to wait until today because I asked people to do what Admin ask me to do which is to ask people to REPORT.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Evidence of arranged meets/ patterns etc on the site might be enough evidence.

How would Admin know if the meet had been cancelled for a valid reason with notice given by phone or text?

Why would a pattern of letting people down matter if a pattern of reports of inappropriate behaviour on meets wouldn't?

Has anyone actually been banned from the site on the basis of their profile being reported for "no shows"?

I'm just curious. Until today it hadn't occurred to me that no-shows should be reported. I may have missed it but I don't recall reading that anywhere until here, today. I've seen people advised to report abusive profiles and those set as singles who are couples and vice versa, but that's all.

I've never reported a profile so had no idea what the options are. I had to go and hit report on a profile and then cancel to see.

I find some of the rules here unclear, so I was asking for clarification.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I'm just curious. Until today it hadn't occurred to me that no-shows should be reported. I may have missed it but I don't recall reading that anywhere until here, today.

I find some of the rules here unclear, so I was asking for clarification."

Yes you must have missed it.

There are not hard and fast rules of what people should report, and obviously people don't have to if they don't want to, but if people don't report what you deem as inappropriate behaviour then Admin can't review and see if there is something they can / need to do.

I will copy in the next post what Admin do with reports.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.

******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).

Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.

Admin

PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.

Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:

Your feedback has been saved.

A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.

By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.******

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

been rather fortunate ova the years that most people we have arranged to meet have been exactly what we had hoped for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last week I was blown out four times and again last night x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree, I never speak on the phone, but have never failed to turn up, if I say I will meet I do.

Hate having my time wasted and certainly wouldn't do that to some one else.

Whether you talk on phone or not, people still mess about and not show up, I would not, however, book a hotel. I would arrange coffee somewhere near to a hotel, then book a room, once other person arrives,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.

Admin

PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.

Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:

Your feedback has been saved.

By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank

you.****** "

Thank you. I don't remember seeing this in the FAQ or forum rules. It's helpful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I disagree, I never speak on the phone, but have never failed to turn up, if I say I will meet I do.

Hate having my time wasted and certainly wouldn't do that to some one else.

True, speaking is no guarantee. I have had a no show I'd spoken to a day or two earlier. In general though, I think if people are willing to speak, they're more likely to turn up.

I don't insist on speaking to everyone. Sometimes it's a gut instinct thing that I don't need to. If I'm unsure about anything though, I'll often want to speak.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Last week I was blown out four times and again last night x"

They must of been mad not to show

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