FabSwingers.com forum: How do you know

By *esthetic21 OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

If you're depressed? Serious question. Like obviously we can get unhappy from time to time when things dont go right but when does it become depression?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it’s when it’s a constant feeling rather than one that passes and things that usually make you happy no longer do. You lose interest in everything and have no motivation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the unhappy times don't seem to end, when the positiveness is outweighed by the negitive or when you just don't feel like you any more. More importantly everyone's depression is different and just because you aren't as depressed as someone you know doesn't mean it's not real. Some people can self help, others struggle so we should never judge either. Be a listing ear to someone, never judgemental.

Happy to talk with anyone who needs a chat anytime

Jenny x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suppose it’s when it’s a constant feeling rather than one that passes and things that usually make you happy no longer do. You lose interest in everything and have no motivation

This^^

Best thing to do if you suspect it yourself is talk to a doctor/therapist and get it sorted. Don’t keep telling yourself it’s just a phase.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure.

I think maybe there's a range, or difference between mild/severe depression.

Mold where you function every day, feel a but shit but get on with things. Severe is when you can't get out of he'd, stop taking care of yourself, seeing friends and lose interest in the things you get joy from...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in the army I visited both Iraq and Afghan, I'm out now but the first few months my mood changed, alls I could think of is the mates I've left behind and if anything happened to them, I used to say I was fine but looking back at it now I really wasn't, I say that was depression for me,

I don't think you know your depressed until your not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’ve got changes like, change in sleep pattern/feeling more tired and drained/change in appetite/less enjoyment in things you’ve previously enjoyed, these can all be signs of depression.

If it’s you, have you got support, or someone to talk to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Best thing to do if you suspect it yourself is talk to a doctor/therapist and get it sorted. Don’t keep telling yourself it’s just a phase. "

100% this I've had bad depression twice (probably still do a little bit but know how to manage it and be open about it more now) and the reason it was pretty bad was because I was macho about it and wasn't honest with myself.

If you think you have depression chances are you probably do.

I didn't believe how bad it was until I was medicated and started talking to a therapist once a week.

Pills and therapy aren't a quick fix it took me almost a year to start feeling like me.

Also if you get medicated and feel "better" don't stop taking them as I can guarantee you will rapidly not feel better. You dont realise just how much those pills help.

Anyone reading this that's struggling and feels they can't talk to someone they know is more than welcome to message me as I know how much easier it can be talking to a random.

It's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’ve got changes like, change in sleep pattern/feeling more tired and drained/change in appetite/less enjoyment in things you’ve previously enjoyed, these can all be signs of depression.

If it’s you, have you got support, or someone to talk to?"

You’re right, but you have to speak to the right people. Unfortunately there is still a “man up” culture or fear that depression is a weakness. Blokes bury their heads and think it will pass. They can also feel uncomfortable speaking to mates etc…about feelings. The best thing is to take that step and speak to a professional. On the other side, If you suspect a person is depressed or suffering, approach them, offer them a brew or an ear, encourage them to seek help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’ve got changes like, change in sleep pattern/feeling more tired and drained/change in appetite/less enjoyment in things you’ve previously enjoyed, these can all be signs of depression.

If it’s you, have you got support, or someone to talk to?

Yes, absolutely all this too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Winter can also have an effect on people, I know it does me. Getting up for work in the dark, grey days, then it's dark again in what only seems like a few hours. Nobody in the parks, or beer gardens, everyone at home keeping warm...

Roll on spring!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Winter can also have an effect on people, I know it does me. Getting up for work in the dark, grey days, then it's dark again in what only seems like a few hours. Nobody in the parks, or beer gardens, everyone at home keeping warm...

Roll on spring! "

Stop it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’ve got changes like, change in sleep pattern/feeling more tired and drained/change in appetite/less enjoyment in things you’ve previously enjoyed, these can all be signs of depression.

If it’s you, have you got support, or someone to talk to?"

^this

I’ve suffered depression before and these are classic early signs, talking always helps no matter how hard it seems. If feelings get worse and self appreciation/ belief goes way down you need to speak to professionals.

Talking and exercise is always a good way to clear your chest and get the endorphins firing again

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I get physical changes too.

My jaw starts to crack more often than just when I yawn. I don't even notice that I'm spending half the time with a clenched jaw so it's a lot tighter than normal.

I've got tickets to see one of favourite bands next year with my son. Now, I keep telling myself I'm excited. That's because I know I should be, and normally would be. But the truth is I'm already doing that "urgh, what will I wear?" "Urgh, what if the weather is shit?" "Urgh, effort"

That ain't right and a sure sign I'm in the hole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had depression multiple times and for me it is the gradual change in patterns. I find myself crying daily, I don't smile or laugh as much, I start not wanting to see anyone.

I'm not suggesting this replaces seeking help but there are various online quizzes for depression and anxiety that you can take. They're useful because the questions they ask might cause you to look at what has changed and examine your feelings. Depression sneaks up on you. Actually realising that you may be and acknowledging that helps. Gives you back some power.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said, change in sleep, appetite, motivation are all signs. Increased anxiety or always putting a negative spin on thoughts.

If this is something that's resonating with you, there is help out there. And I hope you have a good network of people to reach out to. My inbox is always open.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If you wonder if you could be, assume that you would be better to talk with others that you trust, including your Dr. It can be a good help to get support as early as possible but any time is the right time.

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By *esthetic21 OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Thanks for the advice everyone I'm probably just feeling sorry for myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the advice everyone I'm probably just feeling sorry for myself "

It’s ok if it’s that, but it’s also ok if it isn’t.

Don’t invalidate your feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the NHS website: "Symptoms of depression include feeling unhappy or hopeless, low self-esteem and finding no pleasure in things you usually enjoy.

Depression affects people in different ways and can cause a wide variety of symptoms.

They range from lasting feelings of unhappiness and hopelessness, to losing interest in the things you used to enjoy and feeling very tearful. Many people with depression also have symptoms of anxiety.

There can be physical symptoms too, such as feeling constantly tired, sleeping badly, having no appetite or sex drive, and various aches and pains.

The symptoms of depression range from mild to severe. At its mildest, you may simply feel persistently low in spirit, while severe depression can make you feel suicidal, that life is no longer worth living.

Most people experience feelings of stress, anxiety or low mood during difficult times. A low mood may improve after a short period of time, rather than being a sign of depression."

There's no one size fits all with depression.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not an expert....

But I suspect it's bordering there when there's no obvious cause, it sits with you almost 24/7 and it's not easy to shake in the usual ways.

A key sign that highlighted my reducing mental health was behaviour change ... I stopped taking care of myself.

Reach out if you want a chat OP. Doesn't have to be deep or introspective. Any connection is useful.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

It’s different for everyone I guess, depending on your usual (default) mood setting.

For me, I just cried all the time. I cried on the 40 minute drive to work, cried on the 40 minute drive home from work. Get home and cry some more, go to bed at 7pm and sleep and sleep. I had no joy inside, I was emotionally numb. I constantly felt overwhelmed and panicky. The antidepressants helped with that, but they were not a magic fix, you don’t suddenly feel joyous, I think they just quieten your thoughts and feelings to give you enough peace to (eventually) come out the other side.

To some degree I am still emotionally dead inside but I do feel happiness and joy at things that are important to me, just not everyday stuff that most folk would be happy about.

Different experiences for everyone, but I would urge anyone who thinks they may have depression to speak to someone, to reach out and get some support and help.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I didn't realise how low I'd become until I was with my doctor wanting her to give me a tablet to fix my anxiety attacks.

I'm extremely lucky that she is a splendid GP, she took me through the depression questionnaire they use and I had some fairly mortifying moments (Have you thought about hurting yourself in some way? *nervous laugh* of course, doesn't everyone? Apparently no, not everyone does).

The problem is that after a while it feels normal, it feels like that's just how life is, and it becomes difficult to imagine life outside of that big black cloud. It doesn't feel how I imagined depression to feel (I wasn't sad, I wasn't crying all the time, I was mostly numb and unfocused in truth), so I didn't see it as something that could be worked on, that could improve over time.

OP you don't have to struggle with this. Mental health resources are woefully inadequate right now I know, but speaking to your GP will at least start the process of getting help and a referral for assessment.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I knew a mate who on meeting was unnaturally happy and laughing "over the top" at virtually everything.

He was on anti-depression treatment.

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Thanks for the advice everyone I'm probably just feeling sorry for myself "

Hey but that's ok too ...

I've found self-help books like SUMO (Paul McGee) helpful. SUMO stands for Stop, Understand, Move On. He says it's ok to be miserable ("hippo time" he calls it, wallow in the mud and allow yourself that time). But be mindful and try to move on from that state.

A couple of phrases you might like to Google are Mindfulness and

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

Good luck babes... Big hugs!

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