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Am I Broken

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have a history like most of us, I have a high sex drive like most of us, however I have a massive lack in confidence (possibly

Like some of us?) I seem to be talking my way out of situations and relationships out of a lack of trust with that person I’m with despite there being no reason, I have been burned before big time and it hurts me and possibly still affects me, I’m just hoping to chat it out with people on the same plane or anyone who can help

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

This is probably above Fabs pay grade. Maybe look at discussing this with a qualified therapist

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Nobody is ever truly broken chap, they just haven’t found the right glue. You will, don’t over analyse things, for a while just “be”, you will heal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Broken crayons still colour the same. Remember that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are pattern repeater just chatting won't help. Something like CBT might?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not broken, you've just been hurt. It's natural to put up walls to protect yourself from feeling that pain again. There's nothing wrong with being cautious but remember there are good people in the world worthy of trust. You don't have to give your full self, just a little bit and with time you will learn to trust again. There's no quick fix, just trust in your judgement of people and go from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds cheesy but you need to notice how great you are first and be happy on your own before getting enough confidence to have another relationship, or you meet the 'one" who makes you feel amazing straight away x

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"If you are pattern repeater just chatting won't help. Something like CBT might? "

Cock and Ball Torture?!?

(The danger of acronyms)

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

We all put up boundaries when we've been hurt, it's totally natural, but it's really important to try and not let your past define your future. I know it's a case of easier said than done but keep trying to think of lots of positive little thoughts, and let the past go.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Appreciate everyone’s input, my concern is there’s lots of views but they all ring true. I defo need to speak to someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a history like most of us, I have a high sex drive like most of us, however I have a massive lack in confidence (possibly

Like some of us?) I seem to be talking my way out of situations and relationships out of a lack of trust with that person I’m with despite there being no reason, I have been burned before big time and it hurts me and possibly still affects me, I’m just hoping to chat it out with people on the same plane or anyone who can help "

I felt like this for ages, couldn’t understand what was wrong.. was it me/was it them.

My best mates wife’s made me understand, she said I was like a stray dog, abused in the past and every time somebody tried to “rescue” me.. I just couldn’t understand their kindness and couldn’t trust them with my feelings, always thinking that the past would repeat itself. Id then find a way subconsciously of sabotaging the relationship as a defence mechanism.

Now that I understand myself a bit more (and a long time has passed) I know not to make the same mistakes and wait for the right person to come along. Just enjoy having fun along the way as long as you’re not hurting anybody.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The passed has been a number of years now, I trusted 1 other and got hurt again, do I give

To much too soon?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Learn to create what you truly want rather than react/respond to events / people - past doesn’t equal future. Good luck

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I think we're all a little bit broken. I have massive trust issues and had a huge brain fart the other day because things were going so well with someone!

I piss myself off at times.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's natural to avoid pain but you can overcome learned responses to situations where you are not fulfilled.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings


"I have a history like most of us, I have a high sex drive like most of us, however I have a massive lack in confidence (possibly

Like some of us?) I seem to be talking my way out of situations and relationships out of a lack of trust with that person I’m with despite there being no reason, I have been burned before big time and it hurts me and possibly still affects me, I’m just hoping to chat it out with people on the same plane or anyone who can help "

Have been where you are.

1. Can I ask do you have sex for fun or make love because you care.

The two are different

Think about it as men we are judged.

Love and sex are different porn is not reality.

Now stop thinking of life as porn.

We put oure self under pressures we don't understand we meet people and couples and can't preform then we beat our self up making love is not like porn. If it was that easy we would all do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know the feeling all two well I feel broken beyond fixing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you are pattern repeater just chatting won't help. Something like CBT might?

Cock and Ball Torture?!?

(The danger of acronyms) "

I did wonder if someone would pick up on it..

You know I meant the other one!

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'll let you in on a secret OP we're all broken xx.

Seriously it's the human condition. That's not a bad thing though, as most of us are repairable to a greater or lesser extent. And you have recognised something you'd like to change which is the hardest part! Professional councilling or therapy really works. It helped me to come to terms with some childhood trauma that messed me up big time!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have a history like most of us, I have a high sex drive like most of us, however I have a massive lack in confidence (possibly

Like some of us?) I seem to be talking my way out of situations and relationships out of a lack of trust with that person I’m with despite there being no reason, I have been burned before big time and it hurts me and possibly still affects me, I’m just hoping to chat it out with people on the same plane or anyone who can help

Have been where you are.

1. Can I ask do you have sex for fun or make love because you care.

The two are different

Think about it as men we are judged.

Love and sex are different porn is not reality.

Now stop thinking of life as porn.

We put oure self under pressures we don't understand we meet people and couples and can't preform then we beat our self up making love is not like porn. If it was that easy we would all do it. "

I don’t ever think life is porn but there’s still a difference in having sex and making love that’s nothing to do with porn, personally I think most porn is ridiculous and I wouldn’t even dream of half the stuff they come up with.

A casual encounter can be erotic ….talked myself out of it

Seeing a girl….didn’t have the confidence to carry it through so I made excuses for myself

I can’t convince myself to get over things

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I have a history like most of us, I have a high sex drive like most of us, however I have a massive lack in confidence (possibly

Like some of us?) I seem to be talking my way out of situations and relationships out of a lack of trust with that person I’m with despite there being no reason, I have been burned before big time and it hurts me and possibly still affects me, I’m just hoping to chat it out with people on the same plane or anyone who can help "

You seem like you’re pretty self aware, so a few sessions with a decent therapist might be worth the expenditure.

We all have our issues, no matter what our social status. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a history like most of us, I have a high sex drive like most of us, however I have a massive lack in confidence (possibly

Like some of us?) I seem to be talking my way out of situations and relationships out of a lack of trust with that person I’m with despite there being no reason, I have been burned before big time and it hurts me and possibly still affects me, I’m just hoping to chat it out with people on the same plane or anyone who can help

Have been where you are.

1. Can I ask do you have sex for fun or make love because you care.

The two are different

Think about it as men we are judged.

Love and sex are different porn is not reality.

Now stop thinking of life as porn.

We put oure self under pressures we don't understand we meet people and couples and can't preform then we beat our self up making love is not like porn. If it was that easy we would all do it.

I don’t ever think life is porn but there’s still a difference in having sex and making love that’s nothing to do with porn, personally I think most porn is ridiculous and I wouldn’t even dream of half the stuff they come up with.

A casual encounter can be erotic ….talked myself out of it

Seeing a girl….didn’t have the confidence to carry it through so I made excuses for myself

I can’t convince myself to get over things "

Just reframe it as meeting people as if it was just friends. It doesnt have to lead anywhere, friends just meet up to enjoy the moment. No pressures.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Stop thinking about what people can give you and start thinking what you would like to give people. It is your expectations that are dragging you down. Give freely without reward and the reward will come.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield


"Broken crayons still colour the same. Remember that "

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield


"Stop thinking about what people can give you and start thinking what you would like to give people. It is your expectations that are dragging you down. Give freely without reward and the reward will come. "

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield


"

Just reframe it as meeting people as if it was just friends. It doesnt have to lead anywhere, friends just meet up to enjoy the moment. No pressures. "

Very much attempt this if you can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Broken crayons still colour the same. Remember that "

that

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings


"I have a history like most of us, I have a high sex drive like most of us, however I have a massive lack in confidence (possibly

Like some of us?) I seem to be talking my way out of situations and relationships out of a lack of trust with that person I’m with despite there being no reason, I have been burned before big time and it hurts me and possibly still affects me, I’m just hoping to chat it out with people on the same plane or anyone who can help

Have been where you are.

1. Can I ask do you have sex for fun or make love because you care.

The two are different

Think about it as men we are judged.

Love and sex are different porn is not reality.

Now stop thinking of life as porn.

We put oure self under pressures we don't understand we meet people and couples and can't preform then we beat our self up making love is not like porn. If it was that easy we would all do it.

I don’t ever think life is porn but there’s still a difference in having sex and making love that’s nothing to do with porn, personally I think most porn is ridiculous and I wouldn’t even dream of half the stuff they come up with.

A casual encounter can be erotic ….talked myself out of it

Seeing a girl….didn’t have the confidence to carry it through so I made excuses for myself

I can’t convince myself to get over things "

You seem to have got this at a realy bad time of the year. Myself I have just been let go from a job I believed would see me through to retirement so understand BROKEN if you want to chat PM me will give you my number am told I'm a good listener

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings


"Broken crayons still colour the same. Remember that

that"

But also remember there is mind, sermaritons and others out there. And there is a whole community her for you it's good you are reaching out..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for the help I appreciate it all, sound advice I’ll take on board

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