FabSwingers.com forum: Really bad poetry because I’m bored

By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Twinkle Twinkle little starssssss

Want you let me take you up the arsssss

Your turn….

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Let’s have a fuck in the nearest public loo

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hold me

Mold me

Pole me

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Hickory Dickory Dock

I’ve got an enormous cock

It’s big & it’s grand

It conducts a band

There’s no punchline

I’m just bragging.

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Hahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Twinkle Twinkle little starssssss

Want you let me take you up the arsssss

Your turn…."

‘Won’t you let me fuck your arsssss’ works better, too many syllables in yours.

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Hold me

Mold me

Pole me

Yep that’s good because it’s so bad

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Twinkle Twinkle little starssssss

Want you let me take you up the arsssss

Your turn….

‘Won’t you let me fuck your arsssss’ works better, too many syllables in yours. "

Well spotted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some roses aren’t red.

Violets aren’t blue, they’re violet.

I’m pretty bad at rhyming stuff.

So, can I just get my leg over?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My name is Spider Gwen

It's not about who, what or when..

It's about taking control of me and showing me who's boss.

Please shave your pubes I don't want it used as dental floss.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"My name is Spider Gwen

It's not about who, what or when..

It's about taking control of me and showing me who's boss.

Please shave your pubes I don't want it used as dental floss."

Wow that’s like a modern day perverted Shakesphere

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eye spy with my little eye

Some thing beginning without

You

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My name is Spider Gwen

It's not about who, what or when..

It's about taking control of me and showing me who's boss.

Please shave your pubes I don't want it used as dental floss.

Wow that’s like a modern day perverted Shakesphere

I thank ya.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Roses are red

Lemons are sour

Open ur legs and give me an hour

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Roses are red

Lemons are sour

Open ur legs and give me an hour"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"My name is Spider Gwen

It's not about who, what or when..

It's about taking control of me and showing me who's boss.

Please shave your pubes I don't want it used as dental floss.

Wow that’s like a modern day perverted Shakesphere

I thank ya.

I’m going to enter you (for a competition)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"My name is Spider Gwen

It's not about who, what or when..

It's about taking control of me and showing me who's boss.

Please shave your pubes I don't want it used as dental floss.

Wow that’s like a modern day perverted Shakesphere

I thank ya.

I’m going to enter you (for a competition)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Roses are red

Grass is green

Open your legs

And I'll fill you with cream

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

Hickory dickory Dock

The mouse ran up the clock

So I threw my shoe at it

Hands up who thought cock was coming next.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Roses are red

Grass is green

Open your legs

And I'll fill you with cream"

You use these

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I want a big dick in my mouth

And my ass too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Roses are red

Violets are yellow

Cum in my mouth

I promise I’ll swallow

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

There once was a man from Bel Air

Who was doing his wife on the stair

But the banister broke

So he doubled his stroke

And finished her off in mid-air

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"There once was a man from Bel Air

Who was doing his wife on the stair

But the banister broke

So he doubled his stroke

And finished her off in mid-air"

Yellow card !

No posting good poetry. Even if its your thread. Let's keep it bad here thank-you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There once was a name called Barry

He had a wank on his Larry..loner

Every time he was near a woman who smelt of cabbage he had a massive boner.

Bought 50 shades of grey from CEX

So he could pretend he was having sex

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"There once was a name called Barry

He had a wank on his Larry..loner

Every time he was near a woman who smelt of cabbage he had a massive boner.

Bought 50 shades of grey from CEX

So he could pretend he was having sex"

Are you sober out of interest?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Roses are red

Lemons are sour

Open ur legs and give me an hour"

Romance is indeed well and truly dead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading the forums one night

They lifted my mood to light

I replied to a few

But everyone knew

All I had written was shite

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Roses are red

Lemons are sour

Open ur legs and give me an hour

Romance is indeed well and truly dead

Oh did it not work on you? No butterflies?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There once was a name called Barry

He had a wank on his Larry..loner

Every time he was near a woman who smelt of cabbage he had a massive boner.

Bought 50 shades of grey from CEX

So he could pretend he was having sex

Are you sober out of interest?

Yes I am, I'm just nuts.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Out of interest….

Do Butterflies feel humans in their stomach when they fall in love?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"There once was a name called Barry

He had a wank on his Larry..loner

Every time he was near a woman who smelt of cabbage he had a massive boner.

Bought 50 shades of grey from CEX

So he could pretend he was having sex

Are you sober out of interest?

Yes I am, I'm just nuts. "

I adore nutty weirdos

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Out of interest….

Do Butterflies feel humans in their stomach when they fall in love?

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we take a stroll underneath the moon light

I want to see your eyes twinkle like the moonlight

As I gaze in to them and tell you. Your very beautiful

can I hug you forever and never let you go

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Can we take a stroll underneath the moon light

I want to see your eyes twinkle like the moonlight

As I gaze in to them and tell you. Your very beautiful

can I hug you forever and never let you go "

Yes x

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

There was a young girl from south ealing

Who had a very strange feeling

It said on the door dont piss on the floor

So she bent over and shat on the ceiling

Name the film

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There was a young girl from south ealing

Who had a very strange feeling

It said on the door dont piss on the floor

So she bent over and shat on the ceiling

Name the film "

Bridget Jones diary.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can we take a stroll underneath the moon light

I want to see your eyes twinkle like the moonlight

As I gaze in to them and tell you. Your very beautiful

can I hug you forever and never let you go "

It’s only a poem if it rhymes…. Fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a handsome sailor,

With Jolly Roger flag,

He winked at me seductively,

And offered me a… ride in his boat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can we take a stroll underneath the moon light

I want to see your eyes twinkle like the moonlight

As I gaze in to them and tell you. Your very beautiful

can I hug you forever and never let you go

Yes x"

Anytime you like x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There once was a website called Fab

Where sexy meets were to be had

But along came “19”, and Scared all the scene

So now we’re all wanking instead,

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 21/12/21 23:58:38]

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"There was a young girl from south ealing

Who had a very strange feeling

It said on the door dont piss on the floor

So she bent over and shat on the ceiling

Name the film "

Mary Poppins

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Shrek?

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"There once was a website called Fab

Where sexy meets were to be had

But along came “19”, and Scared all the scene

So now we’re all wanking instead,"

Very good indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can we take a stroll underneath the moon light

I want to see your eyes twinkle like the moonlight

As I gaze in to them and tell you. Your very beautiful

can I hug you forever and never let you go

It’s only a poem if it rhymes…. Fact "

Title off the thread is poetry the fact it dosent rhyme makes it bad poetry

But the words still stand and work

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Can we take a stroll underneath the moon light

I want to see your eyes twinkle like the moonlight

As I gaze in to them and tell you. Your very beautiful

can I hug you forever and never let you go

Yes x

Anytime you like x "

Xxx

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Can we take a stroll underneath the moon light

I want to see your eyes twinkle like the moonlight

As I gaze in to them and tell you. Your very beautiful

can I hug you forever and never let you go

It’s only a poem if it rhymes…. Fact

Title off the thread is poetry the fact it dosent rhyme makes it bad poetry

But the words still stand and work

Bad poetry is what’s being delivered that’s for sure

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My profile’s not top pics

My inbox’s full of dicks

But I’ll get a ban, If I name who can

Squirt 3 times on my cheeks!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We come from Barry

My name isn't Gary

My name is Andrew

Can't rhyme that

Oh what a twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All we do is wank, finger and shag

Let's have a look a radio times mag

There's fuck all on T.V

And that don't surprise me

Then pissed all over the bed

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

"There was a young girl from south ealing

Who had a very strange feeling

It said on the door dont piss on the floor

So she bent over and shat on the ceiling

Name the film

Bridget Jones diary."

Lmao

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

There was a young lady so fussy

She wanted to taste her own pussy

So she took out a spoon

From her handbag at noon

But sadly she wasn’t yet soggy!

Hope that’s bad enough!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"All we do is wank, finger and shag

Let's have a look a radio times mag

There's fuck all on T.V

And that don't surprise me

Then pissed all over the bed"

You win the prize….

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can we take a stroll underneath the moon light

I want to see your eyes twinkle like the moonlight

As I gaze in to them and tell you. Your very beautiful

can I hug you forever and never let you go

It’s only a poem if it rhymes…. Fact

Title off the thread is poetry the fact it dosent rhyme makes it bad poetry

But the words still stand and work

Bad poetry is what’s being delivered that’s for sure

I think mines is awesome despite it not rhymeimg at all

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"My profile’s not top pics

My inbox’s full of dicks

But I’ll get a ban, If I name who can

Squirt 3 times on my cheeks!

Are you an English teacher?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"There was a young lady so fussy

She wanted to taste her own pussy

So she took out a spoon

From her handbag at noon

But sadly she wasn’t yet soggy!

Hope that’s bad enough!"

I’m glad I’m ready this tonight and not in the morning whilst I’m eating my porridge

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My profile’s not top pics

My inbox’s full of dicks

But I’ll get a ban, If I name who can

Squirt 3 times on my cheeks!

Are you an English teacher?"

No, why would you think that?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"My profile’s not top pics

My inbox’s full of dicks

But I’ll get a ban, If I name who can

Squirt 3 times on my cheeks!

Are you an English teacher?

No, why would you think that?

It just sounded professional

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eye spy with my little eye

Some thing beginning without

You

Yasmeen* is not a poet

And don’t we fukin know it

But she’s a bute, Loves a cock, so cute

I’m sure she’d love to blow it!

(*Appologies for the poetic license if any facts are inaccurate

)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

One night browsing cold & weary

Viewing porn that’s rather dreary

Could it be that it’s hard to see clearly

That 70’s porn hair costs us dearly.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Best thread since the millennium

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

2 pints of cider and anyone could ride her

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By *ob08Man
over a year ago

Macclesfield

There was a young lady from Madras

Who had a magnificent ass,

Not rounded and pink,

As you probably think,

It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Up the arse went my little pony, whilst perving on fab eating vegan macaroni

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/21 00:19:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There once was a cuckold named Ben*

Who’s wife was a slut, call her Jen,

She had knobbly knees and tits you could squeeze

He got off when she fucked other men!

(Again artistic license this is not necessarily autobiographical)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

‘‘Twas once upon a summer breeze

Her fanny smelt like Stilton cheese

At first her name I thought was Brie

It was revealed instead to be Dairy Leigh.

And on that note, I’m going to go have a long hard think about what the hell I just wrote

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"There once was a cuckold named Ben*

Who’s wife was a slut, call her Jen,

She had knobbly knees and tits you could squeeze

He got off when she fucked other men!

(Again artistic license this is not necessarily autobiographical)

Top 4

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"‘‘Twas once upon a summer breeze

Her fanny smelt like Stilton cheese

At first her name I thought was Brie

It was revealed instead to be Dairy Leigh.

And on that note, I’m going to go have a long hard think about what the hell I just wrote

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

"‘‘Twas once upon a summer breeze

Her fanny smelt like Stilton cheese

At first her name I thought was Brie

It was revealed instead to be Dairy Leigh.

And on that note, I’m going to go have a long hard think about what the hell I just wrote

Nailed it.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

There was a young lady from Crewe

Who, needing a fuck felt quite blue

So she found a big cock

and fucked it amok

Till sunrise when it got up and crew!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Taxiiiiiii

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

There was a beautiful women from Venus,

Who made you expect a rhyme around penis.

Anal.

Immediately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of these have made me laugh.

I stink of shit I'm having a bath

/End

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a young lass on the dole,

Far more than just tits and a hole.

Though she was quite chavy,

Her mind was quite savvy,

So learnt to drink jizz from a bowl.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There was a young lass on the dole,

Far more than just tits and a hole.

Though she was quite chavy,

Her mind was quite savvy,

So learnt to drink jizz from a bowl.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Up the arse went my little pony, whilst perving on fab eating vegan macaroni "

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

The grand old Duke of York he had 10,000 men.

He marched them up to the top of the hill,

and the all fucked my girl friend Gwen.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *upert1000Man
over a year ago

enfield

There was a young man from Bangor

He really was quite a wanker

Until one day , when he got caught

At the window of his neighbour Bianca

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you won’t cringe

If I should impinge

At the fringe of your ginger minge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jingle bells

Ya fanny smells

Go give it a wash

When its clean

I'll slip it innn

Then give it a good nosh

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Jingle bells

Ya fanny smells

Go give it a wash

When its clean

I'll slip it innn

Then give it a good nosh

Oh blimey what on earth made me start this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jingle bells

Ya fanny smells

Go give it a wash

When its clean

I'll slip it innn

Then give it a good nosh

Oh blimey what on earth made me start this thread

I'm glad you did.. I didn't realise I was so talented

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jingle bells

Ya fanny smells

Go give it a wash

When its clean

I'll slip it innn

Then give it a good nosh

Oh blimey what on earth made me start this thread

Boredom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a man called Ben

He lived somewhere near Dover

He waited for all the men off the boats

And looked at all there arses

So he could lure them into dirty dances

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Jingle bells

Ya fanny smells

Go give it a wash

When its clean

I'll slip it innn

Then give it a good nosh

Oh blimey what on earth made me start this thread

Boredom?

Pre-Xmas boredom yes lol

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There once was someone called Annie

She wasn't quite sure if she had a fanny

She looked. She slipped. It made her trip

And couldnt quite believe she fell onto Danny

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Jingle bells

Ya fanny smells

Go give it a wash

When its clean

I'll slip it innn

Then give it a good nosh

Oh blimey what on earth made me start this thread

I'm glad you did.. I didn't realise I was so talented

Pure talent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jingle bells

Ya fanny smells

Go give it a wash

When its clean

I'll slip it innn

Then give it a good nosh

Oh blimey what on earth made me start this thread

I'm glad you did.. I didn't realise I was so talented

Pure talent

It doesn't stop there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*A WINTERS POEM*

fuck me it's cold !

THE END

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There once was a guy from Fab

Armed with 6 Stella and a kebab

Dick pics galore

No reply? 'You're a whore!'

Til his mum shouted 'go to bed Rab!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There once was a lady who was horny.

The end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There once was a lad who was single

With a lady he wanted to mingle

He made up his mind

And invented her kind

Then sought another for a sexy triangle.

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

I think we have written a new Carry on film

Carry On Fabsters maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to go out with a girl,

Every night I made her beg,

But I couldn't shag her standing up,

As she only had one leg...

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Mary had a little lamb

Everywhere she took it

All the boys paid 20p

To take it to the woods

For a walk…

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

One of my biggest regrets in life is starting this thread lol

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

[Removed by poster at 22/12/21 11:52:49]

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"One of my biggest regrets in life is starting this thread lol"

This doesn’t rhyme at all !! #winner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the site called Fab,

Where it's not so good to have flab,

Most of the women, prefer men who are slimmin'

But you can score with the gift of the gab.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Let’s have a fuck in the nearest public loo"

It’s good…. But you know ‘real’ poetry doesn’t have to rhyme ?

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I want to put my throbbing cock

In your sticky little love tunnel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

none of these are as bad as Vogon poetry thankfully

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

Here I sit and hesitate

Should I shit or masturbate?

Mr Hayes.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Let’s have a fuck in the nearest public loo

It’s good…. But you know ‘real’ poetry doesn’t have to rhyme ?

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I want to put my throbbing cock

In your sticky little love tunnel

I’ll pass mate, I’m straight but let’s get back to the poetry

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She loved Italian football so much,

I took her to see AC Milan and AS Roma,

But now I wouldn't give the cheating cow my last Rolo

If she was in a diabetic coma

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Mary used to have a little lamb earlier in the thread…

Turns out it was a slut

So she sold it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mary used to have a little lamb earlier in the thread…

Turns out it was a slut

So she sold it

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

One Christmas I once told Kelly Brook that she had a couple of crackers.

She said thank's a lot, dropped to her knees and grabbed me by the knackers.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"One Christmas I once told Kelly Brook that she had a couple of crackers.

She said thank's a lot, dropped to her knees and grabbed me by the knackers."

That’s good! Imagine if Kelly Brook was on Fab

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"One Christmas I once told Kelly Brook that she had a couple of crackers.

She said thank's a lot, dropped to her knees and grabbed me by the knackers.

That’s good! Imagine if Kelly Brook was on Fab

If she was on Fab you’d need a weighbridge for my balls and they’d probably be visible from space - I quite like her xx sexy and funny xx

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Let’s have a fuck in the nearest public loo

It’s good…. But you know ‘real’ poetry doesn’t have to rhyme ?

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I want to put my throbbing cock

In your sticky little love tunnel

I’ll pass mate, I’m straight but let’s get back to the poetry

Hey now, sorry but it wasn’t for you, it was for my secret (female) crush

If you related to the words though , that’s good , that’s good poetry at work, but maybe get a wet wipe ?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Let’s have a fuck in the nearest public loo

It’s good…. But you know ‘real’ poetry doesn’t have to rhyme ?

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I want to put my throbbing cock

In your sticky little love tunnel

I’ll pass mate, I’m straight but let’s get back to the poetry

Hey now, sorry but it wasn’t for you, it was for my secret (female) crush

If you related to the words though , that’s good , that’s good poetry at work, but maybe get a wet wipe ? "

Hahahahaha

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"One Christmas I once told Kelly Brook that she had a couple of crackers.

She said thank's a lot, dropped to her knees and grabbed me by the knackers.

That’s good! Imagine if Kelly Brook was on Fab

If she was on Fab you’d need a weighbridge for my balls and they’d probably be visible from space - I quite like her xx sexy and funny xx"

She is indeed, with a huge…..personality

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

Roses are red

So is a strawberry

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

I do like to wank

When I visit my bank

As a hot teller once drank

All the spunk in my tank

Then asked for a spank

So I played a great prank

I told her boss she thought he was a plank

And he spanked her so much she farted quite rank

I laughed so much she called me a crank,

I have RBS Sophie for these memories to thank!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

Rose's are red

violets are blue

I have a knife

Get in the fucking van

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Rose's are red

violets are blue

I have a knife

Get in the fucking van "

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

There was a young lady from Ealing

Who had a peculiar feeling

She lay on her back

And opened her crack

And pissed all over the ceiling

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"There was a young lady from Ealing

Who had a peculiar feeling

She lay on her back

And opened her crack

And pissed all over the ceiling

Isn’t it annoying when this happpens

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

"One Christmas I once told Kelly Brook that she had a couple of crackers.

She said thank's a lot, dropped to her knees and grabbed me by the knackers.

That’s good! Imagine if Kelly Brook was on Fab

I'd need a lot of kleenex if she was.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Roses are red

So is a strawberry "

Deep

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"One Christmas I once told Kelly Brook that she had a couple of crackers.

She said thank's a lot, dropped to her knees and grabbed me by the knackers.

That’s good! Imagine if Kelly Brook was on Fab

I'd need a lot of kleenex if she was."

Too much info lol

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some undies are red

Some boxers are blue

My pants are down when I'm with you.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *arkSuitedBootedMan
over a year ago

Nottingham City Centre

Nemephis nemephis, show me your bum

Nemephis nemephis, don't tell your mum

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Roses are red

So is a strawberry

Deep

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

Fee Fi Fo Fum

I smell the cum of an English Mum

(English Nun also available as a valid variant!)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Which is just like us cos

Your lips are red

And my cock is feeling very blue

I think they need to meet!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little boy blue

come blow your horn,

the swingers in the meadow,

the fab dogs in the corn with a horn.

Where is dog who looks after the pussy cats,

Under the haystack wanking his horn,

Will you wank him, oh no not I for if I do he's sure try

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I closed my eyes for a moment

When we were fucking-

God, I forgot to buy milk.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I closed my eyes for a moment

When we were fucking-

God, I forgot to buy milk."

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your eyes are brown like the tree trunks

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack and Jill,

Went up the hill to fetch a pale of squirt,

Jack fell down and broke his horn and Cat came tumbling after.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

As I was a ridin'

past Niagara Falls

I had one hand on my pistol

and one hand on my balls.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

As I was ridin'

Past Colditz

I had one finger in my fanny

And a hand my tits

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shove that big cock into my little hole,

fuck me hard so my bitch tits roll.

Flip me over, fuck me doggy style,

I like it this way,

make it last a while.

Mmm, I like it just like that,

you're so fuckin nasty, that's a fact.

I want you to fuck me so hard that I scream,

fuck me faster,

make me cream.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Bond Jimmy Bond

Fell into the pond

The ducks were going quackers

Pecking at his nackers

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Bond Jimmy Bond

Fell into the pond

The ducks were going quackers

Pecking at his nackers"

Ouch

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I’ve have Alzheimer’s,

Cheese on toast.

Before anyone kicks off, I have a long history of Alzheimer’s and dementia in my family so I don’t need a lecture. Thanks.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I’ve have Alzheimer’s,

Cheese on toast.

Before anyone kicks off, I have a long history of Alzheimer’s and dementia in my family so I don’t need a lecture. Thanks."

This actually made me laugh.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

There was a young man from Nantucket

Whose roses were violet

Third line of Haiku

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I’ve have Alzheimer’s,

Cheese on toast.

Before anyone kicks off, I have a long history of Alzheimer’s and dementia in my family so I don’t need a lecture. Thanks.

This actually made me laugh.

You don’t laugh.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I’ve have Alzheimer’s,

Cheese on toast.

Before anyone kicks off, I have a long history of Alzheimer’s and dementia in my family so I don’t need a lecture. Thanks.

This actually made me laugh.

You don’t laugh.

Sssshhhh don't tell anyone.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I’ve have Alzheimer’s,

Cheese on toast.

Before anyone kicks off, I have a long history of Alzheimer’s and dementia in my family so I don’t need a lecture. Thanks.

This actually made me laugh.

You don’t laugh.

Sssshhhh don't tell anyone. "

Your secret is safe with me… and the 40,110 othe fab users online right now.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

There was a young girl of Cape Cod

Who thought babies were fashioned by God,

But ’twas not the Almighty

Who hiked up her nightie –

‘Twas Roger, the lodger, by God!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

Rose's are red

Violets are twisted

I have a knife

Get in the van

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Twinkle Twinkle little starssssss

Want you let me take you up the arsssss

Your turn…."

Up above and round the place

Now plant your arseole on my face

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twinkle twinkle little star ,

How I wonder what sex you are ,

Up above the perves so high

like the curves in the pie .

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

mary had a little skirt

Split right up the sides,

Every time that Mary ran,

The boys could see her thighs.

Margaret had another skirt,

Split right up the front,

She didn't wear that one very often.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Mary had a little lamb

who's fleese was all white and curly,

she loved DVP with Tom and Sam

But they always came to early.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a guy called Jimmy on fab

Who’s poems were really bad

He made one about stars

Doing bad things to your arse

The fab straight guys will be so glad

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Im no good at poetry

And my flowers died

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Toilet seat, sweet toilet seat

It's the one thing every day

we must all meet.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Haha my thread is still going lol

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *moking GunCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

Knees are weak, your back it spasms...

As you reach the peak of your first...

I can't think of a word... help!

Gun.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Hahaha

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Mary had a little lamb

Everywhere she took it

All the men paid 50p

To take it in the woods

And …. Stuck now!!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Who knew a thread I started so long ago was still going haha

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're a happy filthy poet and

you know it clap your hands,

If you're a happy filthy poet

and you know clap your hands,

If your a happy filthy poet

and you really want to show it get your cock, pussy, tits and ass out

If you're a happy filthy poet clapp you hands

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/07/22 07:28:34]

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"If you're a happy filthy poet and

you know it clap your hands,

If you're a happy filthy poet

and you know clap your hands,

If your a happy filthy poet

and you really want to show it get your cock, pussy, tits and ass out

If you're a happy filthy poet clapp you hands

Do you have anything published!??

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"If you're a happy filthy poet and

you know it clap your hands,

If you're a happy filthy poet

and you know clap your hands,

If your a happy filthy poet

and you really want to show it get your cock, pussy, tits and ass out

If you're a happy filthy poet clapp you hands

Amazing

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There once was a fella named Jimmy

Who had a very small Willy

He could still make ladies cum

As he popped out his golden gun

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet

Her knickers all tattered and torn

It wasn't a spider

That sat down beside her

It was Little Boy Blue with the horn

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

"There once was a fella named Jimmy

Who had a very small Willy

He could still make ladies cum

As he popped out his golden gun

Thanks….I think

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There once was a fella named Jimmy

Who had a very small Willy

He could still make ladies cum

As he popped out his golden gun

Thanks….I think

Haha tongue in cheek x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ingo00Man
over a year ago

Cowley

There once was a man called dave

He dug up a pro*titutes grave

She was mouldy as shit and missing a tit

But look at the money he saved!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're a happy filthy poet and

you know it clap your hands,

If you're a happy filthy poet

and you know clap your hands,

If your a happy filthy poet

and you really want to show it get your cock, pussy, tits and ass out

If you're a happy filthy poet clapp you hands

Do you have anything published!??

No lol, I am only having a bit of fun with it because only just recently I've taken more of an interest.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The boy stood on the burning deck, eating a hot bag of scallops.

Two slipped down his trouser legs, and burnt off both his ... kneecaps.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ond Jimmy Bond OP Man
over a year ago

London

Amazing

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

There was an old man named McLean,

Who invented the shagging machine,

On the 99th stroke,

The fuckin' thing broke,

And whipped up his bollocks to cream.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There once was a man called dave

He dug up a pro*titutes grave

She was mouldy as shit and missing a tit

But look at the money he saved! "

(closed, thread got too big)

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