FabSwingers.com forum: Loneliness at Christmas

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

I’ve got to be honest, the last few Christmases have been a struggle for one reason or another (from pre Covid too). I honestly don’t think I’d have made it through them without people to talk to when I was feeling alone.

Which leads me to this post…

I’m thankfully in a much better place mentally this year, despite the fact I’m working over Christmas I’m still able to enjoy it with others.

But I know other people are not as fortunate, so I would like to offer myself as an outlet for anyone who needs to talk to someone this Christmas, I’m dropping my filters and I’m here if you need to talk…. I know it can save a life

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heonix_flamesWoman
over a year ago

Midlands

Very kind of you, I’ve also struggled with this in the past. There’s also a hashtag on Twitter for this on actual Xmas day run by Sarah Millican- #JoinIn in case it helps anyone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"Very kind of you, I’ve also struggled with this in the past. There’s also a hashtag on Twitter for this on actual Xmas day run by Sarah Millican- #JoinIn in case it helps anyone."

I wasn’t aware of this (mostly because I gave up Twitter as it’s a toxic environment in my opinion) but thank you for sharing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arkSuitedBootedMan
over a year ago

Nottingham City Centre

Are you alone this Christmas?

Can I please borrow your chairs?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"Are you alone this Christmas?

Can I please borrow your chairs?

Bold if you to assume I have chairs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

That's really lovely of you OP, I hope you continue being in a better place with your mental health and you have a good time over the festive period, in one way or another. x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you alone this Christmas?

Can I please borrow your chairs?

Remarks like that could hurt people who are feeling low, thankfully the OP took it well but please be mindful when trying to be funny as hurting people in the process is not fun.

NBVN x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I’ve got to be honest, the last few Christmases have been a struggle for one reason or another (from pre Covid too). I honestly don’t think I’d have made it through them without people to talk to when I was feeling alone.

Which leads me to this post…

I’m thankfully in a much better place mentally this year, despite the fact I’m working over Christmas I’m still able to enjoy it with others.

Hugs darling if you need to talk email me anytime xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which leads me to this post…

I’m thankfully in a much better place mentally this year, despite the fact I’m working over Christmas I’m still able to enjoy it with others.

This is amazing OP and I’m glad that during the worst times you found people to talk to. Not everyone is so lucky.

I am obviously fully in support of this thread and I’m also available to support anyone that needs it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

Thank you all for the positive replies, it’s much appreciated.

I’ve added an abridged version of my offer as my status and will be refreshing it throughout the Christmas period. I’d encourage others that are willing to do the same!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

My poor sister lives alone and allways has the children/grandchildren round for xmas! She has bought all the treats and food for this year! But yesterday tested positive for corona so will b on her own for xmas bless her x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Whatever battles you have faced OP your post is a thoroughly altruistic and humbling one. I hope you're in a much better place mentally or spiritually during the festive period. Keep warm and keep safe. xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you volunteer ?

I drove a minibus collecting people and taking them to a free Xmas dinner..then home.. probably can in most large towns and cities.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

On my own this Christmas Day, got a few ideas for the day itself so I can fill it and not feel so bad. Told workmates and friends that I’m going to my sisters to stop them from either feeling sorry for me or suggesting alternatives, basically to shut them up.

Doubt I’ll join Sarah’s Twitter thing as I never see these things as much as a sticking plaster to the pain you feel when you’re on your own.

Luckily I have a new relationship and as long as we don’t go into lockdown, we’ll be together on New Year’s Eve. So I have something to look forward to, on the day.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

Every other Christmas Im by myself unless I have friends visiting.

I always find it helps just to pop into the fab chatrooms now and again just for a natter and a bit of human interaction, for me personally it helps immensely.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"Every other Christmas Im by myself unless I have friends visiting.

I always find it helps just to pop into the fab chatrooms now and again just for a natter and a bit of human interaction, for me personally it helps immensely."

I spent the last 3 Christmas periods alone for the majority, it was random chats on a hobby forum that got me through last year.

I figured this would be a good place to do this for others because by the very nature of the site it’s easier to open up a bit more anonymously without judgement

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouise73Woman
over a year ago

Norwich

I'm on my own this Christmas, I worked the last 2. Tbh I'm dreading it. Just wish I could go to bed and wake up in January.

My parents are doing other things and my sister is to up her self to care.

Sorry for the rant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never really considered loneliness until after divorce and friends just melted away. Xmas is that time of year when you become acutely aware of it. I suppose I've just become used to it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"I'm on my own this Christmas, I worked the last 2. Tbh I'm dreading it. Just wish I could go to bed and wake up in January.

My parents are doing other things and my sister is to up her self to care.

Sorry for the rant. "

No need to apologise for expressing your feelings, you’re not alone in feeling this way!

Feel free to vent here or message if you want a chat. If there’s any way I can help you or others feel better then I will do whatever I can

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great sentiment OP, what a lovely idea. My filters are down as always too if anyone would like to chat, rant/vent or off load.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s a difference between being on your own at Christmas & feeling alone. You can be with loads of people yet still feel alone. Just as much as you cab on your own and not feel alone.

My friend is on her own, her parents died years ago, she has half siblings but they are in Australia. She has friends who will offer a place, but generally turns it down. Why? Because she can plan her day the way she wants it. Watch what she wants, eat & drink gin whenever she wants too. She also used to look after my dog/cat for the festive days so she was never truly alone.

I’m not saying everyone should be like her, but if you do find yourself in that position, plan your day. Yes she’s cooking for one, but she is cooking from scratch. Open any presents you’ve been given, from friends, family, yourself, think about your relationship with that person through each opening….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never really considered loneliness until after divorce and friends just melted away. Xmas is that time of year when you become acutely aware of it. I suppose I've just become used to it.

This....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

OP you know where I am, and my new years resolution will be to get that coffee with you. It is hard I've been there especially when you have kids after separation it's a killer. Massive cwtsh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On my own this Christmas.. hoping there’s some decent surf somewhere.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the times when other people are happiest, people feel the most alone. Lovely thought OP and same goes for my inbox, it's always open to anyone who needs it.. no one should feel alone at any time of the year

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohoMan
over a year ago

Amsterdam,Netherlands

Yes it's gonna be a lonely Christmas...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s a difference between being on your own at Christmas & feeling alone. You can be with loads of people yet still feel alone. Just as much as you cab on your own and not feel alone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"It's the times when other people are happiest, people feel the most alone."

I tell myself that not everyone else is happy at Christmas.

There can be d*unken arguments, family feuds and goodness knows what upset.

At least I'll miss that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *escourtesMan
over a year ago

hereford

Anyone on their own xmas day theres a twitter feed running. Hosted by sarah Millican, #joinin

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

Once again, thanks for all the positive comments.

If others are able and willing then again I would be grateful if you could put something similar to my own status up for the Christmas period. I understand if you can’t obviously

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Once again, thanks for all the positive comments.

If others are able and willing then again I would be grateful if you could put something similar to my own status up for the Christmas period. I understand if you can’t obviously"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not my turn with the kids this year so will be on my lonesome… Gonna go for a surf and then have a cheese board and some port with a movie in the evening.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"Not my turn with the kids this year so will be on my lonesome… Gonna go for a surf and then have a cheese board and some port with a movie in the evening. "

Is this a coping mechanism to help against low thoughts or simply something enjoyable that you’re doing because you’ve got time to?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be on my own again this year. Will probably wake up feeling sad but I'll log in here, browse the forums and see if someone will chat to me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for being wonderful OP. Glad you are in a better place and lovely to see you pay that forward

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"Thank you for being wonderful OP. Glad you are in a better place and lovely to see you pay that forward

Someone did it for me once (more than once actually), so doing it for someone, anyone, else is the very least I can do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I’ll be alone, first time since I was a teen and I’m not working.

I’ll be popping in and out of Fab, so I’m happy to try and bring a smile to peoples faces or lend an ear if it gets a bit tough.

#we’llgetthroughittogether

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to drop my filters Christmas Eve if anyone would like to chat. Will try to be around a bit - I am lucky enough not to be alone but I know what loneliness feels like.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any hints on how to be friendly and offer support but not get chancers in my inbox? (Already happening!)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any hints on how to be friendly and offer support but not get chancers in my inbox? (Already happening!)"

Just delete the wanking chancers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm phoning my b:friender tomorrow to wish them Merry Christmas... They will be on their own, but seem ok.. Their son is visiting on Monday (i think he is working until then)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Are you alone this Christmas?

Can I please borrow your chairs?

I've got a couple of tea chests you can have

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

This is a good thread OP. I will be alone for most of Xmas day, I will be at work for 12hrs and won't see a soul. To get me thru I will read and be on fab.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any hints on how to be friendly and offer support but not get chancers in my inbox? (Already happening!)"

It's a Christmas miracle you're hoping for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You speak from the heart well there mate , for me personally this will the first Xmas I spend alone , I have no family and I only get my kids Boxing Day so I decided to offer my time to a charity and volunteer on the day giving meals out, it’s helping others but also I feel it’s helping me not wallow in my own self negativity … don’t let the darkness win , we live in a beautiful world ! I hope you have a great Xmas

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtyangel3Man
over a year ago

North West

I could honestly do with a hug right now, I've just had my heart broken.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any hints on how to be friendly and offer support but not get chancers in my inbox? (Already happening!)

It's a Christmas miracle you're hoping for

It is, isn't it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could honestly do with a hug right now, I've just had my heart broken. "

Oh no

Very sorry to hear that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtyangel3Man
over a year ago

North West

"I could honestly do with a hug right now, I've just had my heart broken.

Oh no

Very sorry to hear that

Thank you, to say I'm devastated would be a understatement, I'm guessing I did something wrong but I'm at a loss. I just want this year to end

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could honestly do with a hug right now, I've just had my heart broken.

Oh no

Very sorry to hear that

Thank you, to say I'm devastated would be a understatement, I'm guessing I did something wrong but I'm at a loss. I just want this year to end "

I had my heart broken in Jan. I remember how it feels and it's rubbish. Try not to dwell on what you might have done - it just makes you feel worse. ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtyangel3Man
over a year ago

North West

"I could honestly do with a hug right now, I've just had my heart broken.

Oh no

Very sorry to hear that

Thank you, to say I'm devastated would be a understatement, I'm guessing I did something wrong but I'm at a loss. I just want this year to end

I had my heart broken in Jan. I remember how it feels and it's rubbish. Try not to dwell on what you might have done - it just makes you feel worse. ??"

Just can't stop crying, enjoy your day.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could honestly do with a hug right now, I've just had my heart broken.

Oh no

Very sorry to hear that

Thank you, to say I'm devastated would be a understatement, I'm guessing I did something wrong but I'm at a loss. I just want this year to end

I had my heart broken in Jan. I remember how it feels and it's rubbish. Try not to dwell on what you might have done - it just makes you feel worse. ??

Just can't stop crying, enjoy your day."

Perfectly reasonable to cry, anyone would

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otshot14Woman
over a year ago

nuneaton

Xmas to me is over rated,I don't celebrate it,not for any reason just that when u r on your own,u can do what u like when u like.

If u have kids it's different.

Don't even own anything Xmas at all.

Think.of all the money I've saved over the yrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *akie32Man
over a year ago

winchester

love being alone on christmas, can drink and eat bad food and fart all i like, sat on the sofa watching crap tv, im a catch me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"You speak from the heart well there mate , for me personally this will the first Xmas I spend alone , I have no family and I only get my kids Boxing Day so I decided to offer my time to a charity and volunteer on the day giving meals out, it’s helping others but also I feel it’s helping me not wallow in my own self negativity … don’t let the darkness win , we live in a beautiful world ! I hope you have a great Xmas "

This is an amazing gesture! I hope it helps you as well as others, and maybe gets you a few people to chat too as well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are right about it being a beautiful world, we just need to stop a while and breathe it

What a truly selfless person you are! Hope you have a lovely peaceful Christmas x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last Christmas I was alone dog sitting for a friend who was with family abroad. I was gone, had a nice day. Today my adult kids are with me, came last night and will stay the day. Yet, as I type this I feel alone! Strange. Giving it some thought, and will continue to do so, just wondering if it’s the lack of a partner. Been single for a couple of years now, not been a problem until the run up to today.

To all those feeling low, chin up, do something that makes you happy, think happy thoughts, a believe better times are ahead.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

[Removed by poster at 25/12/21 13:07:46]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heRazorsEdge OP Man
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

I hope everyone is feeling ok and coping well.

If you’re not, my inbox is open

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Great idea and can be a very tough time for some at Christmas !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I'm feeling down but that just because I'm at work in the middle of a 12hr shift and it's really dragging. I have not seen a soul all day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chin up am alone too .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *incsguy247888Man
over a year ago

Spalding

Due to COVID I'm also on my todd today, while having to cancel Christmas plans at the last minute is a bummer, I would rather be safe than sorry - I'm good with it. That said always happy to chat, with anyone who would like to.

Much love to everyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm on my own this Christmas, I worked the last 2. Tbh I'm dreading it. Just wish I could go to bed and wake up in January.

My parents are doing other things and my sister is to up her self to care.

Sorry for the rant. "

Never be sorry…..this is my first Christmas alone……it’s not been easy……tried to keep occupied but now crashed on sofa……I’m with you…..go to bed and wake up in a few days time….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ookingformilfsMan
over a year ago

Derby

I'm also alone this Christmas

I used to go for dinner at my aunties but she's tested positive for Covid so my plans have been cancled.

I used to go see my father on Christmas but he passed away 2 years ago in February.

My mother made other plans and is out with her fella, and my brothers gone out with his friends.

I've got a bunch of Turkey in the fridge but don't have the motivation to cook it.

The only thing I'm looking forward to is going back to work and being around people again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

"I hope everyone is feeling ok and coping well.

If you’re not, my inbox is open "

Great work, mun - a credit to Pembs

I’m on my own. I’m fine with it, though - I decided to ignore Christmas as much as possible a few years ago, and I don’t miss it in the slightest when it’s over.

Totally get that it’s a very hard day for others, though. Hope folks are doing ok.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Many people see to enjoy the lack of Christmas hassle and I don't blame them at all.

Personally I really don't like being home alone on Christmas day. I know it actually is just another day, but I can't help feeling sad about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello to all those feeling a bit sad and lonely - I know it's a hard day. Virtual hugs!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello to all those feeling a bit sad and lonely - I know it's a hard day. Virtual hugs! "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Struggled today! First time ever in my 29 years without a family christmas dinner of sorts coz of I'm bloody ill!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread