FabSwingers.com forum: newspaper storys

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

every now and again they come up with a classic that makes my day

from sundays paper regarding a court case

"the lady led her husband to the bedroom and asked him to get undressed and lie on the bed, she blindfolded him and tied him to the bed posts. so the guy obviously thinks he is in for a treat.

But...

she beats him with a rolling pin for cheating on her

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

That's terrible!

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

"That's terrible!"

i agree.. she should have taken his wallet and gone on a spending spree instead..

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"That's terrible!"
but still kinda funny !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely there's a moral there somewhere in that story

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Surely there's a moral there somewhere in that story

"
i was more surprised people still had rolling pins i thought that was just in the andy capp comic strips

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Surely there's a moral there somewhere in that story

i was more surprised people still had rolling pins i thought that was just in the andy capp comic strips

What do you use to roll your pastry? I really hope she wasn't using one of those marble rolling pins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made me laugh tbh

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Surely there's a moral there somewhere in that story

i was more surprised people still had rolling pins i thought that was just in the andy capp comic strips

What do you use to roll your pastry? I really hope she wasn't using one of those marble rolling pins

"
use a bottle of wine doesnt everybody ?

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

think the funny bit is him obviously thinking he is the dogs bollocks as he is getting laid by his playmate and now he is about to have wild hot sex with his mrs, just as he is expecting her warm wet smooth pussy to lower itself down on him..happy days indeed he is thinking

then Bosh !! a rolling pin whacks him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WOuld it still be funny if it was a man that did that to woman?

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"WOuld it still be funny if it was a man that did that to woman? "
She might have lightly tapped him on his bottom, Are you just assuming he got beaten badly ?

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

I'd have rammed it up his arse!!

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I'd have rammed it up his arse!!

"
phew at least someone has a soh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"WOuld it still be funny if it was a man that did that to woman? She might have lightly tapped him on his bottom, Are you just assuming he got beaten badly ?"

She hit him in the face as you would know having read the story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

YOur original post says beats him with a rolling pin, and for it to be a newspaper story it must of been a bit of a beating, And surely its what she did which is bad not how bad it was, so my question still stands

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being in court having admitted to assault causing actually bodily harm is far from a slight tap on his bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

I would say that. When has violence helped to do anything but create more violence and fear?

I know you meant this post to be light-hearted but I've worked with domestic violence and revenge might be a bitch best served cold but I can never condone violence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

I'll second that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"YOur original post says beats him with a rolling pin, and for it to be a newspaper story it must of been a bit of a beating, And surely its what she did which is bad not how bad it was, so my question still stands"

agree if a man had done that to a woman people wouldnt find it funny!!! its not right the man has cheated, but for anyone to premeditately beaten someone for any reason is assalt and hope she gets sent to jail for it!!

And because of it hope she gets less than half in the divorce!!

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

maybe as a country we could have just asked mr hitler if he wouldnt mind stopping fighting and would he please return to his own country ?

during the riots last year maybe the police could have asked the rioters to pretty please stop looting and would they awfully mind not setting fire to honest law abiding tax payers property ?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

What about a thrashing with a wet kipper?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

What about a thrashing with a wet kipper?"

Only if he has a kipper wih which defend himself and there is a ref to oversee the thrashing.

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

What about a thrashing with a wet kipper?

Only if he has a kipper wih which defend himself and there is a ref to oversee the thrashing."
and youve de frosted it

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

maybe as a country we could have just asked mr hitler if he wouldnt mind stopping fighting and would he please return to his own country ?

during the riots last year maybe the police could have asked the rioters to pretty please stop looting and would they awfully mind not setting fire to honest law abiding tax payers property ?"

I don't condone war either. I think there are times when you do fight for your beliefs and your way of life but it is a last resort.

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

maybe as a country we could have just asked mr hitler if he wouldnt mind stopping fighting and would he please return to his own country ?

during the riots last year maybe the police could have asked the rioters to pretty please stop looting and would they awfully mind not setting fire to honest law abiding tax payers property ?

I don't condone war either. I think there are times when you do fight for your beliefs and your way of life but it is a last resort."
thats the point i was making, the poster was saying it never works in any situation ever

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

What about a thrashing with a wet kipper?

Only if he has a kipper wih which defend himself and there is a ref to oversee the thrashing."

The rules of a proper kipper thrashing contest dictate that it has to be taken in turns. You have to endure said beating for a minimum of 30 strokes before swapping over.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

maybe as a country we could have just asked mr hitler if he wouldnt mind stopping fighting and would he please return to his own country ?

during the riots last year maybe the police could have asked the rioters to pretty please stop looting and would they awfully mind not setting fire to honest law abiding tax payers property ?

I don't condone war either. I think there are times when you do fight for your beliefs and your way of life but it is a last resort. thats the point i was making, the poster was saying it never works in any situation ever"

I would argue it was not the violence that resolved the situation. Where there is only violence then wars continue to rumble on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"every now and again they come up with a classic that makes my day

from sundays paper regarding a court case

"the lady led her husband to the bedroom and asked him to get undressed and lie on the bed, she blindfolded him and tied him to the bed posts. so the guy obviously thinks he is in for a treat.

But...

she beats him with a rolling pin for cheating on her"

that takes SM to a whole new level lol

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

What about a thrashing with a wet kipper?

Only if he has a kipper wih which defend himself and there is a ref to oversee the thrashing.

The rules of a proper kipper thrashing contest dictate that it has to be taken in turns. You have to endure said beating for a minimum of 30 strokes before swapping over. "
prize for who guesses the time in minutes before someone condones using kippers to beat someone with as a, its never right b, would you like it if it was a man beating a woman with said kipper or c, think of the poor kippers rights

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

What about a thrashing with a wet kipper?

Only if he has a kipper wih which defend himself and there is a ref to oversee the thrashing.

The rules of a proper kipper thrashing contest dictate that it has to be taken in turns. You have to endure said beating for a minimum of 30 strokes before swapping over. "

Would the kipper remain wet after even half that number of strokes?

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

maybe as a country we could have just asked mr hitler if he wouldnt mind stopping fighting and would he please return to his own country ?

during the riots last year maybe the police could have asked the rioters to pretty please stop looting and would they awfully mind not setting fire to honest law abiding tax payers property ?

I would argue it was not the violence that resolved the situation. Where there is only violence then wars continue to rumble on."
maybe kipper fighting IS the answer ?

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

I would say that. When has violence helped to do anything but create more violence and fear?

I know you meant this post to be light-hearted but I've worked with domestic violence and revenge might be a bitch best served cold but I can never condone violence.

Firstly I do not condone violence.

But i lived through it, and the one time I ever fought back was a similar situation and my god did I feel better for it! It empowered me to end my marriage and start a new life and I haven't looked back!

I don't know what happened here as I haven't read the story. If it was just cheating no I don't think he deserved a 'beating' but putting it where the sun don't shine would be very appealing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So by your thinking he would be aloud to get up and kick the shit out of her in revenge?

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

maybe as a country we could have just asked mr hitler if he wouldnt mind stopping fighting and would he please return to his own country ?

during the riots last year maybe the police could have asked the rioters to pretty please stop looting and would they awfully mind not setting fire to honest law abiding tax payers property ?

I would argue it was not the violence that resolved the situation. Where there is only violence then wars continue to rumble on. maybe kipper fighting IS the answer ?"

Only if it's fresh, frozen would be a step to far lol

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

What about a thrashing with a wet kipper?

Only if he has a kipper wih which defend himself and there is a ref to oversee the thrashing.

The rules of a proper kipper thrashing contest dictate that it has to be taken in turns. You have to endure said beating for a minimum of 30 strokes before swapping over.

Would the kipper remain wet after even half that number of strokes?"

Well here's the rub. A cunning thrasher dips his kipper in a bucket of vinegar

sshh I never told you that

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"So by your thinking he would be aloud to get up and kick the shit out of her in revenge?"
can i have your answer to hitler and the riots please ?

i am soooooo sorry for laughing at a story in the paper that tickled my fancy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

maybe as a country we could have just asked mr hitler if he wouldnt mind stopping fighting and would he please return to his own country ?

during the riots last year maybe the police could have asked the rioters to pretty please stop looting and would they awfully mind not setting fire to honest law abiding tax payers property ?

Erm hang on no, I meant in a domestic.

I am out at the moment hence can't answer in full.

Meanwhile someone has just nicked my parking space so I am off to hit them with my hand bag!

Eye for an eye and all that

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I don't think it is funny at all and violence is never a way to resolve anything, no matter what his "crime" was.

are you saying violence never helps resolve any situation ever ?

Yes I am.

maybe as a country we could have just asked mr hitler if he wouldnt mind stopping fighting and would he please return to his own country ?

during the riots last year maybe the police could have asked the rioters to pretty please stop looting and would they awfully mind not setting fire to honest law abiding tax payers property ?

Erm hang on no, I meant in a domestic.

I am out at the moment hence can't answer in full.

Meanwhile someone has just nicked my parking space so I am off to hit them with my hand bag!

Eye for an eye and all that

"
lol thats more like it

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"So by your thinking he would be aloud to get up and kick the shit out of her in revenge?"
going to treat that comment with the contempt it deserves, i might be many things but if you think i condone wife beating your way way way off the mark

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly Hitler was Austrian not German, 2ndly no was has ever sorted anything peace only happens when the leaders get round the table and talk, 3rdly there's a difference between a man who kills millions of people and a guy sleeping around,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So by your thinking he would be aloud to get up and kick the shit out of her in revenge? going to treat that comment with the contempt it deserves, i might be many things but if you think i condone wife beating your way way way off the mark"

BUt that Is my point why is domestic violence to a man acceptable to you? BUt not women this is why many many men suffer in silence because its just a big joke to people

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Firstly Hitler was Austrian not German, 2ndly no was has ever sorted anything peace only happens when the leaders get round the table and talk, 3rdly there's a difference between a man who kills millions of people and a guy sleeping around,"
1, where did i say hitler was german 2, do you think if we as a country had asked hitler to sit round a table and talk he would have ? 3, i understand theres a difference thats why i asked if you meant violence wasnt right in "any" situation and the answer was it wasnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's terrible! but still kinda funny !"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly Hitler was Austrian not German, 2ndly no was has ever sorted anything peace only happens when the leaders get round the table and talk, 3rdly there's a difference between a man who kills millions of people and a guy sleeping around,1, where did i say hitler was german 2, do you think if we as a country had asked hitler to sit round a table and talk he would have ? 3, i understand theres a difference thats why i asked if you meant violence wasnt right in "any" situation and the answer was it wasnt

YOu said ask Hitler to return to his own country which he'd already done by invading it, 2nd no he wouldn't of but the war didn't get him to either, and 3rd read my posts I've never said violence is never needed, if someone attacks me I'm going to hit them back, what I said was would it be funny if it was the man that did that to a woman and you've answered that by saying you don't condone wife beating, so I want to know the difference between the 2,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And as gentle whimsy tiptoes forlornly out of the forums...

Personally I thought it hysterical...

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