FabSwingers.com forum: Why is so hard to say goodbye

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guys, I’ve had quite a rough last few days, one of my doggies started to feel really Ill last week and she’s been to the vets, and stayed over for 2 days, they aren’t completely sure what she’s got and how serious the condition is, anyway they sent her home with meds..

But my dog has sort of started to pack in, she’s not eating (I have to syringe feed her) and today she’s been very lethargic and she’s struggling to walk properly

I just have a feel that, that time is coming, I’m gonna take her to the vets again but I’ve been balling all morning (I’ve lost another dog to a Tumor last year and it was so traumatic and painful to say goodbye) and I’m very much at loss, as she’s like a baby to me.

Last time I was there for my baby when she went to sleep, but it broke my heart and I don’t think I have the strength to be in the room once again .. but I’m feeling guilty and such a coward about it.

I don’t know what my point is , but if you have any words of encouragement…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guys, I’ve had quite a rough last few days, one of my doggies started to feel really Ill last week and she’s been to the vets, and stayed over for 2 days, they aren’t completely sure what she’s got and how serious the condition is, anyway they sent her home with meds..

But my dog has sort of started to pack in, she’s not eating (I have to syringe feed her) and today she’s been very lethargic and she’s struggling to walk properly

I don’t know what my point is , but if you have any words of encouragement…

Leaky eyes here. Sounds like you're a good mamma to your fur babies. Not easy decision and not made lightly. It is heartbreaking. Just sending you virtual (((((hugs)))))) xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We absolutely understand how you feel.

I stayed with the first cat we ever jointly owned as the vet put her to sleep. I wouldn't do it again. It was very difficult and I don't think it comforted her

Your dog knows you love them and at some level will know that you're doing the best for them. When we took our big old boy on his final journey a few years ago we said goodbye to him first. I'm sure if you do that your dog will understand.

So sorry Kylie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I know it’s hard I’ve been there but please be there for your baby when the time comes x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read somewhere we are put here to learn to love. Dogs already know how to so they don't need as long as us.

Fur baby has completed his or her mission here, time they went home.

Hope that helps.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Aw bless you, I lost my wee dog about 4yrs ago and went into the room to say goodbye, it absolutely broke me - we had him for 18yrs and he was the most loveable wee guy!

I felt it was the right thing to do, dogs give us so much without being able to talk, they get us through things without realising it and I felt he should have me there in the end

You find the strength because you love them, you will take comfort in knowing you were there once they have gone.

Big hugs to you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Never an easy situation all I can do is send u virtual hugs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww, our pets are so important to us aren't they? I love my little cat Frankie.

I totally get it, it's heart breaking losing them.

It doesn't make you a bad person if you can't be there when the time comes x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

You’re easing their suffering, being kind. It’s not easy letting go but if it’s for the right reasons, it’s the right reason.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I’m so sorry Kylie

sending you lots of love and prayers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a devastating situation I’ve been in twice over the last couple of years. I had to make the decision that if there was no quality of life for my pooches it was time to let them go. I even think I saw appreciation in their eyes as they went

or I hope i did

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww hugs I know it can be hard but they been there for you in your time off need please be there for it in it’s last time off need

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I read somewhere we are put here to learn to love. Dogs already know how to so they don't need as long as us.

Fur baby has completed his or her mission here, time they went home.

Hope that helps. "

And there she goes, crying again

x it’s just so tough to let them go x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otwifeKazWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

I saw a motivational post on facebook from a vet the other day. Basically saying that when a dog is about to be euthanized they look around for their family (owner) and stress if they aren't there. If, god forbid, I have to go through that with any of my dogs you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be there for them. Hugs...can't be easy xx

But my dog has sort of started to pack in, she’s not eating (I have to syringe feed her) and today she’s been very lethargic and she’s struggling to walk properly

I don’t know what my point is , but if you have any words of encouragement…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"I read somewhere we are put here to learn to love. Dogs already know how to so they don't need as long as us.

Fur baby has completed his or her mission here, time they went home.

Hope that helps.

And there she goes, crying again

x it’s just so tough to let them go x "

Aww big huggs im bawling too over my pooches

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s a devastating situation I’ve been in twice over the last couple of years. I had to make the decision that if there was no quality of life for my pooches it was time to let them go. I even think I saw appreciation in their eyes as they went

or I hope i did "

Oh additionally I spent the best time with them near the end getting ink on their pads and taking prints which are now on my wall

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"I read somewhere we are put here to learn to love. Dogs already know how to so they don't need as long as us.

Fur baby has completed his or her mission here, time they went home.

Hope that helps. "

Brilliant, so many times I’ve seen YouTube videos of dogs and their devotion to their owners.

Not an animal lover myself (never owned a pet) but I do appreciate the happiness and company they bring to others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I saw a motivational post on facebook from a vet the other day. Basically saying that when a dog is about to be euthanized they look around for their family (owner) and stress if they aren't there. If, god forbid, I have to go through that with any of my dogs you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be there for them. Hugs...can't be easy xx

But my dog has sort of started to pack in, she’s not eating (I have to syringe feed her) and today she’s been very lethargic and she’s struggling to walk properly

I don’t know what my point is , but if you have any words of encouragement…

I was there for my other doggy and I held her in my arms when she was passing but it haunted me for weeks. And it has been too much of a trauma for me to go through it again so soon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m really sorry to here that it’s the most difficult part saying goodbye. You’ve got to remember you are doing the best thing for them, it’s not easy at all thinking of you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thoughts are with you OP, you'll know when it's time. You do have the strength to be with your four legged loved one as hard as it is to do. I still see our little ones face as we held her in our arms but it was nothing but love as she looked up at us both xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But my dog has sort of started to pack in, she’s not eating (I have to syringe feed her) and today she’s been very lethargic and she’s struggling to walk properly

I don’t know what my point is , but if you have any words of encouragement…

You have my deepest sympathy.

We have lost literally dozens of pets down the years. I always tried to stay with them at the very end, but wasn't always able. Sometimes it is just too hard - every time is different.

Up here (Orkney) we're still not allowed to accompany pets while they're being examined, which has taken the decision out of my hands on 3 or 4 occasions since covid started.

You must try not to feel guilty if you can't be there. I've never been sure how much it helps them, but I am sure that you shouldn't damage yourself by subjecting yourself to such trauma if that's how it's making you feel.

I wish you and your companion the very best. Strength and love. xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But my dog has sort of started to pack in, she’s not eating (I have to syringe feed her) and today she’s been very lethargic and she’s struggling to walk properly

I don’t know what my point is , but if you have any words of encouragement…

You have my deepest sympathy.

We have lost literally dozens of pets down the years. I always tried to stay with them at the very end, but wasn't always able. Sometimes it is just too hard - every time is different.

Up here (Orkney) we're still not allowed to accompany pets while they're being examined, which has taken the decision out of my hands on 3 or 4 occasions since covid started.

I wish you and your companion the very best. Strength and love. xxx"

Thanks for this, it’s such a tough call to make as well as you always wonder… is it for sure the right time, is there anymore I can do?

The biggest thing was that she’s not been eating apart from me syringe feeding her but that is becoming a problem as she can’t carry on not wanting to eat.

But yes, last time was a bit too traumatic and I didn’t think I’d find myself in this situation again, so soon … it’s fucking shite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anchestercreampieloversCouple
over a year ago

manchester

[Removed by poster at 16/12/21 14:19:22]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this with my dog in the summer. It is hard, I took him to the vets alone and really struggled to hold it together. Id have never not gone in though as hard as it was.

You have to think of their quality of life, if they're struggling or in pain it is the kindest thing to do. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost my beloved dog in August and cried every day for more than a week. Don't be afraid to shed tears, plenty of them, you're losing a beloved and faithful companion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

or I hope i did

Oh additionally I spent the best time with them near the end getting ink on their pads and taking prints which are now on my wall "

I have their paws print and started to collect some of her fur on tail just in case. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aw no!! I’m really sorry to read this.

You do have the strength. Whatever happens she needs you there. Imagine if she didn’t have you?? Unthinkable. It will certainly be heartbreaking but you will regret it if not.

Do it for her MrsKG xxxxxxxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

But my dog has sort of started to pack in, she’s not eating (I have to syringe feed her) and today she’s been very lethargic and she’s struggling to walk properly

I don’t know what my point is , but if you have any words of encouragement…

This destroys me just in reading. Can't imagine losing my baby girl and it has been close a couple of times.

My heart reaches out to you and I hope you find strength. I know I wouldn't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Kylie it's so sad. Our 11 year old cat passed away suddenly 3 days ago.

Please be with your pet when the time comes, not with people he/she doesn't know. It will be the most awful time, but it's important and comforting to them.

Please be strong for them xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sent you a PM xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know it’s hard I’ve been there but please be there for your baby when the time comes x"

This 100% - I might be out of line but from my experience it is better to endure the sadness and grief of being there than to risk regretting not being there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But my dog has sort of started to pack in, she’s not eating (I have to syringe feed her) and today she’s been very lethargic and she’s struggling to walk properly

I don’t know what my point is , but if you have any words of encouragement…

I know how much it must have hurt last time, I think your fur baby needs you there, just think how scared she will be on her own... I know when the time comes for one of my boys, I will be there no matter how hard it will be for me... Be strong for her, you will be reunited again at the rainbow bridge... Xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

It’s such a sad situation. Vet staff are lovely, I wouldn’t worry for one minute about not being there if that’s what’s best for you, I’m sure she’ll be comforted. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh Kylie, huge hug.

I know how painful this is, but please please be there for him at the end, you'll be all he needs there xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Check your WhatsApp app

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know it’s hard I’ve been there but please be there for your baby when the time comes x

This 100% - I might be out of line but from my experience it is better to endure the sadness and grief of being there than to risk regretting not being there."

I mean I managed to cry out every liquid in my body already and she’s still here ….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Check your WhatsApp app

Ill check xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Sorry to hear your news OP. It is always going to be tough saying goodbye, whatever the circumstances, but you should be there. You’ll regret it afterwards if you aren’t.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is one of the reasons I couldn't have a pet because it breaks my heart to even read about it.

It's an awful thing to have to go through and I hope you do find the strength to be there at the end, they will be comforted by their loving owner in their time of need. I'm so sorry this is happening, it's truly heart wrenching. Sending virtual hugs and strength to you. Xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Pm’d you Kylie xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is one of the reasons I couldn't have a pet because it breaks my heart to even read about it.

I’m starting to think that I’m gonna pack it in because yes, the joys are fucking amazing, the love that they can give… but they take a piece of our hearts when they go and it’s way too tough … I am very not much ready to let her go x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

My dog had to be put to sleep in September when I was in Majorca. The hardest part for me was not being by his side when I always promised him I would be.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Put yourself in her place.

She's had a good life with you, and now she's ready to rest.

When I'm old and ill I'll be ready for the peace.

Be strong x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My dog had to be put to sleep in September when I was in Majorca. The hardest part for me was not being by his side when I always promised him I would be."

I remember your thread.

it’s so freaking tough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I think you just have to take a deep breath and do it. Think about ending their pain and discomfort.

Big hugs xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ptgadgetMan
over a year ago

Colorado Springs

We’ve been there and soon will be there again.

My heart goes out to you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

We lost one of our cats last month. It's hard but it's also the ultimate kindness. It's the most loving thing we can do for our pets once they start to suffer.

I'm sorry for your pain.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

It's heartbreaking to go through but after all the unconditional love they gave you over the years you should be there to hold them and comfort them in their last moments, it's broken me several times over the years when it's happened but I would never not be there with them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's heartbreaking to go through but after all the unconditional love they gave you over the years you should be there to hold them and comfort them in their last moments, it's broken me several times over the years when it's happened but I would never not be there with them."

I know it’s my cowardly side that is kinda taking over me atm x but I’ll try my best to pluck the courage, even if I have to shut my eyes and just talk to her that it’s gonna be fine x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

You've just got to put your own heartbreak aside and be there for them, hard as it may be, just make sure someone is there for you afterwards as well. When my 12 year old staffy had to be put to sleep because they found he had cancer on his liver I was devastated, he came over to me in the vets room and laid on me like he'd done 1000 times before and I held him while sobbing my eyes out as they put him to sleep. I still miss him but take comfort in knowing that I gave him the happiest life he could have had and we had countless adventures together.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've just got to put your own heartbreak aside and be there for them, hard as it may be, just make sure someone is there for you afterwards as well. When my 12 year old staffy had to be put to sleep because they found he had cancer on his liver I was devastated, he came over to me in the vets room and laid on me like he'd done 1000 times before and I held him while sobbing my eyes out as they put him to sleep. I still miss him but take comfort in knowing that I gave him the happiest life he could have had and we had countless adventures together. "

That was sort of what happened to my other doggy, I hugged her and comforted her while they gave the kiss of death x

Ill try mend my broken heart afterwards x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

I’m sorry to read this lovely

Just sending huge love xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the father/man of the house (why I really don't know?) I got to take all the pets for that last trip to the vet and always held them to the end. When my big pup went, unexpectedly and literally over 24hrs, I was in bits. No more pets for me, can't do that anymore.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

So sorry OP, it's horrible. Hug to you and doggo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleA123Couple
over a year ago

berwick

But my dog has sort of started to pack in, she’s not eating (I have to syringe feed her) and today she’s been very lethargic and she’s struggling to walk properly

I don’t know what my point is , but if you have any words of encouragement…

You have my deepest sympathy.

We have lost literally dozens of pets down the years. I always tried to stay with them at the very end, but wasn't always able. Sometimes it is just too hard - every time is different.

Up here (Orkney) we're still not allowed to accompany pets while they're being examined, which has taken the decision out of my hands on 3 or 4 occasions since covid started.

I wish you and your companion the very best. Strength and love. xxx

Thanks for this, it’s such a tough call to make as well as you always wonder… is it for sure the right time, is there anymore I can do?

The biggest thing was that she’s not been eating apart from me syringe feeding her but that is becoming a problem as she can’t carry on not wanting to eat.

But yes, last time was a bit too traumatic and I didn’t think I’d find myself in this situation again, so soon … it’s fucking shite "

No other words, it is shite, but you will find the strength from somewhere inside. Been there, too many times now, but we still have pets so not over. Take care x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"I read somewhere we are put here to learn to love. Dogs already know how to so they don't need as long as us.

Fur baby has completed his or her mission here, time they went home.

Hope that helps. "

Beautiful

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

Sending you hugs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

Sending big hugs OP. I had to have my cat put to sleep and a very kind person referred to it as “the final kindness for a dear friend”.

My vet at the time sedated my cat separately first then I was in the room with her stroking her when they helped her to pass super peacefully.

All my dogs and one other cat have passed naturally but it’s no easier to deal with the grief. For me I think I would rather be with them when they go, given the choice, but only you can decide what is right for the two of you x

Hugs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're part of the family. Feel for you OP. You have to do what's right for your dog, regardless of how you feel. I know the time is fast approaching for mine. Dreading it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs Kylie. Our bitch is getting on, she's our daughters best friend and it's going to be hard when her time comes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Dogs make better people than some humans.

You knew this anyway. So treat it like a human funeral and allow the grief to wash over you.

You're losing a good friend. It's never easy.

Sending hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orkshireDrifterMan
over a year ago

Nafferton, nr Driffield.

I do empathise, having had to make that hard decision myself so many times.

No matter how hard it is they have given me so much in their lives that I always stay. I feel that I owe it to them but also know that I am still doing the best for them. A neccesssy final act of thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Big hugs Kylie. Our bitch is getting on, she's our daughters best friend and it's going to be hard when her time comes. "

It is such a pain and they leave such a void once they say goodbye

Its gonna be tough not hearing her tip tapping on the floor every morning x

Her younger sister is very subdued today so I think she must feel it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

sorry to hear this out fur babies are our family.

Big hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dogs make better people than some humans.

You knew this anyway. So treat it like a human funeral and allow the grief to wash over you.

You're losing a good friend. It's never easy.

Sending hugs"

I took 15 mins alone with my last doggy, I’ve brushed her and made sure she was smelling good after she was gone, crying my head off but I probably needed that time alone with her x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is one of the reasons I couldn't have a pet because it breaks my heart to even read about it.

Oh they do take a bit of our heart for sure. But you know the pain of losing them will get better over time, they will always be sorely missed but it won't be as raw as it currently is. X

I'm a postie so I see a lot of puppers on my rounds and I love on all of them, they are my therapy doggos. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

Whatever you decide, make sure you're there for their final moments. So they're not scared or alone x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Whatever you decide, make sure you're there for their final moments. So they're not scared or alone x"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Gave her one last resort with a shot, but she’s scheduled in for the morning if this last thing doesn’t work …

Im gonna snuggle her up tonight and give her all the last love I can

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread