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"When a bird shits on your head A pigeon " You have been shat on by a pigeon whilst trying to be sexy! And met a gremlin and walked into a lampost! Please tell us this wasn't all at the same time!! | |||
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"Oh yes, when you're trying to strip and you trip over your knickers "An ex done this once as she slipped wearing heels in the bathroom and head butted the wash basin! Gave herself a fairly decent black eye to boot too. She was ok but it definitely killed the mood as expected. | |||
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"Oh yes, when you're trying to strip and you trip over your knickers "Is this how the classic 'whoops, my heel is caught in my knickers' photographs are taken.....? | |||
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"Oh yes, when you're trying to strip and you trip over your knickers
An ex done this once as she slipped wearing heels in the bathroom and head butted the wash basin! Gave herself a fairly decent black eye to boot too. She was ok but it definitely killed the mood as expected."Oh ouch x | |||
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"Oh yes, when you're trying to strip and you trip over your knickers
Is this how the classic
'whoops, my heel is caught in my knickers'
photographs are taken.....?"Might try it some time | |||
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"Falling over the dog... black dog, black carpet.. wee fud had escaped the pen... we both felt so bad as she yelped!" Same issue here with a brown dog. Want to swap dogs? - or maybe carpets!!  | |||
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"When you dont notice the light fitting as you get on the bed bad knock yourself out" Just how fast were you travelling for god's sake!! | |||
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"I once ran down some stairs of a night club, straight into a plate glass window and knocked myself out, right in front of the chap I fancied. Wasn't my most attractive hour " That's commitment right there though. Go you! | |||
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"Falling over the dog... black dog, black carpet.. wee fud had escaped the pen... we both felt so bad as she yelped! Same issue here with a brown dog. Want to swap dogs? - or maybe carpets!! "I'll swap you carpets  | |||
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"Went for a sexy back arch during climax and rolled off the bed into a heap... my cum addled brain took a second or two to realise what had happened and my shaky legs couldn’t pick me up. Proper catch, me." If you are trying to suggest that during sex his cum made it to your actual brain.....dear God above its no wonder you fell off the bed | |||
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"Oh yes, when you're trying to strip and you trip over your knickers
An ex done this once as she slipped wearing heels in the bathroom and head butted the wash basin! Gave herself a fairly decent black eye to boot too. She was ok but it definitely killed the mood as expected.
Oh ouch x"And obviously we had to make up an alternative story as to what happened. Couldn’t say to the majority of people what really happened but we did tell some  | |||
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"It’s pointless me even trying to be sexy il only fall on my arse "Is that how you fell in the bath on your second video - you know the one with you scratching your nipple?  | |||
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"When a bird shits on your head A pigeon You have been shat on by a pigeon whilst trying to be sexy! And met a gremlin and walked into a lampost! Please tell us this wasn't all at the same time!! " Different times | |||
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"When you try to walk in those 8-9 inch killer heels and fall on your face Yes done this one in my early days " 8"-9" - sounds more like a pogo stick on each leg 
It's no wonder you fell over | |||
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"It’s pointless me even trying to be sexy il only fall on my arse "That’s debatable Belle I think you look very sexy in your profile pic x | |||
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"Oh yes, when you're trying to strip and you trip over your knickers
An ex done this once as she slipped wearing heels in the bathroom and head butted the wash basin! Gave herself a fairly decent black eye to boot too. She was ok but it definitely killed the mood as expected.
Oh ouch x
And obviously we had to make up an alternative story as to what happened. Couldn’t say to the majority of people what really happened but we did tell some "What was your alternative story?? If it is clearly rubbish, I'm sure we can make it better..... | |||
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"When you try to walk in those 8-9 inch killer heels and fall on your face Yes done this one in my early days 8"-9" - sounds more like a pogo stick on each leg
It's no wonder you fell over "Ha ha yes I can walk in them now though | |||
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"When you try to pick a partner up by the waist and as she comes up she headbutts you in the jaw, we both needed a sit down after. " Everyone's ears are ringing in sympathy. Of course we are laughing as well, idiot! | |||
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"D*unken period sex. And the state of the sheets in the morning when you both wake up "Were you convinced you were being sexy at the time though. Otherwise please comment on the d*unken sex fails thread...... | |||
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"The d*unken taking of your skinny jeans and falling flat on your arse move. Done that a few times. " Were you being sexy? | |||
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"The d*unken taking of your skinny jeans and falling flat on your arse move. Done that a few times. Were you being sexy? " Trying and failing miserably. Story of my life. | |||
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"D*unken period sex. And the state of the sheets in the morning when you both wake up
Were you convinced you were being sexy at the time though. Otherwise please comment on the d*unken sex fails thread...... "Oh, convinced to a completely delusional extent | |||
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"Oh yes! Nearly spearing a testicle with my heels trying to do a sexy lapdance routine "Did the testicle in question recover..... | |||
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"Reindeer, Dieu, will done, you may both have a coffee. Dieu, don't drink it in bed though, your sheets have suffered enough." Thank you | |||
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"I tried to kill a fly once so I got on top of a drawer and fell on my sister "And this was sexy how??? | |||
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"I tried to kill a fly once so I got on top of a drawer and fell on my sister
And this was sexy how??? "It wasn't I fell | |||
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"Thanks and thank Christ for the boil wash on my machine ..." Jesus did indeed say, " blessed are the sexy, for they shall value the boil wash". probably... | |||
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"I tried to kill a fly once so I got on top of a drawer and fell on my sister
And this was sexy how???
It wasn't I fell "Killing flies is the subject of a different thread. (Somewhere) This is sexy fails what I have done. | |||
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"I tried to kill a fly once so I got on top of a drawer and fell on my sister
And this was sexy how???
It wasn't I fell
Killing flies is the subject of a different thread. (Somewhere)
This is sexy fails what I have done. "I can't find killing flies though | |||
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"I tried to kill a fly once so I got on top of a drawer and fell on my sister
And this was sexy how???
It wasn't I fell
Killing flies is the subject of a different thread. (Somewhere)
This is sexy fails what I have done. "I'm gonna look | |||
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"Actually broke my dick with a BBW who insisted on doing reverse cowgirl. Was very sore and took over 6 months to mend. " This is a very sad story. However it does not qualify for a sexy fail. This is a sex fail - totally different subject.... | |||
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"I tried to kill a fly once so I got on top of a drawer and fell on my sister
And this was sexy how???
It wasn't I fell
Killing flies is the subject of a different thread. (Somewhere)
This is sexy fails what I have done.
I'm gonna look"We were all a little concerned at how a pigeon/Gremlin/lampost had got involved in your sexy fail earlier on. Especially the pigeon... | |||
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"I tried to kill a fly once so I got on top of a drawer and fell on my sister
And this was sexy how???
It wasn't I fell
Killing flies is the subject of a different thread. (Somewhere)
This is sexy fails what I have done.
I'm gonna look
We were all a little concerned at how a pigeon/Gremlin/lampost had got involved in your sexy fail earlier on. Especially the pigeon..."Different times the pigeon plopped on me Gremlin well 
No need for your concern
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"Ha! Just say no.... Or wear goggles or perhaps a snorkel next time. By the way, never put toothpaste in your eye. Hurts like a bugger." hindsight (no pun) would have given me that option! No I’d imagine toothpaste would sting a bit, tend not to put much into my eyes deliberately though. Cutting chilli is another pitfall to avoid. Do not touch your face/Jacobs or anywhere really. | |||
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"Few years ago after a very long day and night of drinking I woke up in bed with a women next to me, can’t even remember meeting her. Let’s say now the beer goggles had worn of a bit I think I made a mistake. I then gathered all my clothes, “can’t believe I don’t wake her up with all my still d*unk escape”, I left the house walked about 10 houses to realise that I was walking down my road. I turned round and walked back to only realise I had walked out my own house. Leaving her in my house also with my keys, knocked on the door and she came down with a very confused look. Very awkward morning after that " sorry about the poor grammar | |||
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"Few years ago after a very long day and night of drinking I woke up in bed with a women next to me, can’t even remember meeting her. Let’s say now the beer goggles had worn of a bit I think I made a mistake. I then gathered all my clothes, “can’t believe I don’t wake her up with all my still d*unk escape”, I left the house walked about 10 houses to realise that I was walking down my road. I turned round and walked back to only realise I had walked out my own house. Leaving her in my house also with my keys, knocked on the door and she came down with a very confused look. Very awkward morning after that sorry about the poor grammar " This is another classic case of a d*unken sex fail. However, anyone who manages to do the walk of shame from their own house to their own house deserves something. Possibly counseling. Please don't bring your elderly relatives into this, you look bad enough already. | |||
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"You know when you are being so awesome and sexy it hurts.....as you walk towards your partner they start to get all excited - you know you are onto a magnificent thing..... Then you kick the corner of the footstool and fall into a wailing pathetic heap, clutching your toes and cursing footstools in general..... Yeah that. Any other classics to share? " Mine broke a toe in a club at a GH. Didn't stop him playing thou. | |||
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"You know when you are being so awesome and sexy it hurts.....as you walk towards your partner they start to get all excited - you know you are onto a magnificent thing..... Then you kick the corner of the footstool and fall into a wailing pathetic heap, clutching your toes and cursing footstools in general..... Yeah that. Any other classics to share? " Basically me trying to be sexy in any way is always a huge fail
Mrs | |||
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"Oh yes! Nearly spearing a testicle with my heels trying to do a sexy lapdance routine
Did the testicle in question recover..... "It was terrified for a considerable time after by any sudden movements | |||
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"Leading the way up to the bedroom and violently falling UP the stairs, face planting and sending bottles of lube and hot coffee skywards, catching the coffee perfectly upon the nape of your neck, like a brilliant sadomasachistic clown juggler. .. Sex panther..." Violently feel UP the stairs...... Just how fast were you going? Was this your first time? Were you being chased by an alien? So many questions..... | |||
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