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"I'm not sure there is a general thing that works for every woman... ..maybe put the bins out, do the washing up, hoovering, flowers, be nice, that sort of stuff? " | |||
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"I do all that anyway lol She just isn’t in the mood nowhere near like before, she was hoping there a tablet or something that can helps things along! I'm not sure there is a general thing that works for every woman... ..maybe put the bins out, do the washing up, hoovering, flowers, be nice, that sort of stuff? " Who is 'she'? You want to drug her so you can have sex with her? Dump her. She deserves better. | |||
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"Any ideas that work, done plenty of talking so any suggestions?!!" If we are talking about an existing long term partner then the only thing that will work is talking, even if that means talking to a professional. There is no magic pill for anyone that increases sex drive, especially if the reasons for their lower libido is not physical. | |||
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"I’d be very interested to know any ways that work. For me, my sex drive has decreased because of my emotional well-being so maybe mental well-being and sex drive are connected "Even my wife doesn’t know why it’s gone down, we have a happy life, just the sexual desire isn’t there, if I left it to when she is horny, I’d be lucky to get it once a month and I’d live it five times a week!! | |||
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"I do all that anyway lol She just isn’t in the mood nowhere near like before, she was hoping there a tablet or something that can helps things along! I'm not sure there is a general thing that works for every woman... ..maybe put the bins out, do the washing up, hoovering, flowers, be nice, that sort of stuff? Who is 'she'? You want to drug her so you can have sex with her? Dump her. She deserves better. " I didn’t say drug anyone. We have been together 19 years so no dumping thanks. It’s nice to be nice!! | |||
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"I’d be very interested to know any ways that work. For me, my sex drive has decreased because of my emotional well-being so maybe mental well-being and sex drive are connected
Even my wife doesn’t know why it’s gone down, we have a happy life, just the sexual desire isn’t there, if I left it to when she is horny, I’d be lucky to get it once a month and I’d live it five times a week!!"Maybe it's the pressure to keep up. You may not personally put pressure on her but she may still feel it and pressure is rarely sexy. Sometimes it's hard when you're tired in the week. Winter sometimes doesn't help either as the darker evenings and mornings can make you more tired. | |||
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"Try making her feel valued and special and not expect anything for doing so" I do that every day! | |||
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"I do all that anyway lol She just isn’t in the mood nowhere near like before, she was hoping there a tablet or something that can helps things along! I'm not sure there is a general thing that works for every woman... ..maybe put the bins out, do the washing up, hoovering, flowers, be nice, that sort of stuff? Who is 'she'? You want to drug her so you can have sex with her? Dump her. She deserves better. " I didn’t say drug anyone. We have been together 19 years so no dumping thanks. It’s nice to be nice!! | |||
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"Can I ask how old she is could it be hormones eg menopause I know that affects alot of women get her to try hrt if she is.. unfortunately for me I have a good sex drive through menopause " 36, and gorgeous but she doesn’t think she is, which could be reason but she has never had the confidence she should have | |||
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"I’d be very interested to know any ways that work. For me, my sex drive has decreased because of my emotional well-being so maybe mental well-being and sex drive are connected
Even my wife doesn’t know why it’s gone down, we have a happy life, just the sexual desire isn’t there, if I left it to when she is horny, I’d be lucky to get it once a month and I’d live it five times a week!!"It works both ways, you saying ' get it' does look a bit like you see your own pleasure above hers.. Apologies if that's not the case but it's how it reads.. Dies she know your on this site? If not, wrap it up and perhaps get some help as a couple to try and improve things.. Communication in all these situations is paramount and you might not think she knows but women are very astute on such things.. Wish you both well.. | |||
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"Do some housework.. if she's not washing your pants, she will have time to be in yours." True.. A man should help her in household works also..that is called a perfect couple | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it " I think you mean melatonin..... | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... "  | |||
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"I’d be very interested to know any ways that work. For me, my sex drive has decreased because of my emotional well-being so maybe mental well-being and sex drive are connected
Even my wife doesn’t know why it’s gone down, we have a happy life, just the sexual desire isn’t there, if I left it to when she is horny, I’d be lucky to get it once a month and I’d live it five times a week!!"You poor thing. Get more meets on here and just fuck her once a month. Doesn't matter if she's horny that way. | |||
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"Does your wife know you are on here?? " that will do it, but not with her husband  | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... "no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2 | |||
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"Does your wife know you are on here?? that will do it, but not with her husband "She's probably got her suspicions and that's why she's gone off it! | |||
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"Love how so many assume the issue is with the OP with all the suggestions he works harder to make her feel special. The sad thing with this attitude is is promotes the idea that sex and intimacy is something that women offer in exchange for being treated a certain way, that men have to work for in order to be rewarded with and that any reduction of sexual activity in a relationship is almost certainly due to the male half not being good enough as a partner. Sex isn't a favour, it isn't something you have to be a good boy in order to be rewarded with and it isn't a currency to be used by women (or men) to get their own way. If intimacy is missing in what is otherwise a genuinely happy relationship then the person who no longer wants to be intimate has experienced a change in hormone levels, is dealing with unresolved mental health issues or the relationship isn't as good as you think it is. The reality is there is no such thing as a sex drive, intimacy comes from all kinds of sources. Yes, it can be driven by hormones and certainly in the early days of a relationship that drive to be shagging all the time is largely is but over the years this gets replaced by a need for intimacy driven by pleasure from each others touch and the desire to give pleasure to the one you love. Ultimately a relationship is a two way thing. It takes work from both parties and will only ever work if both are prepared to listen to each other and make an effort to behave in ways that makes the other happy. Simply stating you have lost your sex drive or no longer want to be intimate and then expecting your partner to make all the adjustments to live with this new lifestyle is the ultimate in selfish behaviour and is only justified by this ridiculous motion that the responsibility lays with the other partner who clearly hasn't made enough effort, put the bins out enough or bought enough bunches of flowers etc. Despite the insinuations from others on this thread this is absolutely nothing to do with making her do something she doesn't want to. This is another trope that gets thrown in on these threads to add to the stereotype that intimacy and sex is something you have to convince others to partake in. The issue is clearly that you want her to *want* to have sex with you, not that you want sex from her irrespective of whether she wants it or not. Good luck OP, you'll need it. Nothing will change your situation until your partner decides to try to change it and that depends on whether or not she understands how much this hurts you and values your happiness enough to make the effort to try. Most likely, she is happy as she is and will see no reason to change as you are still providing her with everything she needs and wants. She is likely unaware of exactly how this is making you feel simply because it won't be a feeling she has experienced so her levels of understanding will be restricted by her inability to fully empathise. Mr " This is one of the best answers I've seen on this subject. Sex should be a wonderful thing not a bargaining chip or used to manipulate people into doing xyz. About time people's attitudes towards it changed by all genders. | |||
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"Love how so many assume the issue is with the OP with all the suggestions he works harder to make her feel special. The sad thing with this attitude is is promotes the idea that sex and intimacy is something that women offer in exchange for being treated a certain way, that men have to work for in order to be rewarded with and that any reduction of sexual activity in a relationship is almost certainly due to the male half not being good enough as a partner. Sex isn't a favour, it isn't something you have to be a good boy in order to be rewarded with and it isn't a currency to be used by women (or men) to get their own way. If intimacy is missing in what is otherwise a genuinely happy relationship then the person who no longer wants to be intimate has experienced a change in hormone levels, is dealing with unresolved mental health issues or the relationship isn't as good as you think it is. The reality is there is no such thing as a sex drive, intimacy comes from all kinds of sources. Yes, it can be driven by hormones and certainly in the early days of a relationship that drive to be shagging all the time is largely is but over the years this gets replaced by a need for intimacy driven by pleasure from each others touch and the desire to give pleasure to the one you love. Ultimately a relationship is a two way thing. It takes work from both parties and will only ever work if both are prepared to listen to each other and make an effort to behave in ways that makes the other happy. Simply stating you have lost your sex drive or no longer want to be intimate and then expecting your partner to make all the adjustments to live with this new lifestyle is the ultimate in selfish behaviour and is only justified by this ridiculous motion that the responsibility lays with the other partner who clearly hasn't made enough effort, put the bins out enough or bought enough bunches of flowers etc. Despite the insinuations from others on this thread this is absolutely nothing to do with making her do something she doesn't want to. This is another trope that gets thrown in on these threads to add to the stereotype that intimacy and sex is something you have to convince others to partake in. The issue is clearly that you want her to *want* to have sex with you, not that you want sex from her irrespective of whether she wants it or not. Good luck OP, you'll need it. Nothing will change your situation until your partner decides to try to change it and that depends on whether or not she understands how much this hurts you and values your happiness enough to make the effort to try. Most likely, she is happy as she is and will see no reason to change as you are still providing her with everything she needs and wants. She is likely unaware of exactly how this is making you feel simply because it won't be a feeling she has experienced so her levels of understanding will be restricted by her inability to fully empathise. Mr " Sounds like you're creating your own picture of his partner. I guess you have your own reasons for that and we all look at things with our own biases. However, he has clearly said that she was the one hoping there are tablets that could help increase her sex drive so she clearly does care and isn't happy with how things are. | |||
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"Love how so many assume the issue is with the OP with all the suggestions he works harder to make her feel special. The sad thing with this attitude is is promotes the idea that sex and intimacy is something that women offer in exchange for being treated a certain way, that men have to work for in order to be rewarded with and that any reduction of sexual activity in a relationship is almost certainly due to the male half not being good enough as a partner. Sex isn't a favour, it isn't something you have to be a good boy in order to be rewarded with and it isn't a currency to be used by women (or men) to get their own way. If intimacy is missing in what is otherwise a genuinely happy relationship then the person who no longer wants to be intimate has experienced a change in hormone levels, is dealing with unresolved mental health issues or the relationship isn't as good as you think it is. The reality is there is no such thing as a sex drive, intimacy comes from all kinds of sources. Yes, it can be driven by hormones and certainly in the early days of a relationship that drive to be shagging all the time is largely is but over the years this gets replaced by a need for intimacy driven by pleasure from each others touch and the desire to give pleasure to the one you love. Ultimately a relationship is a two way thing. It takes work from both parties and will only ever work if both are prepared to listen to each other and make an effort to behave in ways that makes the other happy. Simply stating you have lost your sex drive or no longer want to be intimate and then expecting your partner to make all the adjustments to live with this new lifestyle is the ultimate in selfish behaviour and is only justified by this ridiculous motion that the responsibility lays with the other partner who clearly hasn't made enough effort, put the bins out enough or bought enough bunches of flowers etc. Despite the insinuations from others on this thread this is absolutely nothing to do with making her do something she doesn't want to. This is another trope that gets thrown in on these threads to add to the stereotype that intimacy and sex is something you have to convince others to partake in. The issue is clearly that you want her to *want* to have sex with you, not that you want sex from her irrespective of whether she wants it or not. Good luck OP, you'll need it. Nothing will change your situation until your partner decides to try to change it and that depends on whether or not she understands how much this hurts you and values your happiness enough to make the effort to try. Most likely, she is happy as she is and will see no reason to change as you are still providing her with everything she needs and wants. She is likely unaware of exactly how this is making you feel simply because it won't be a feeling she has experienced so her levels of understanding will be restricted by her inability to fully empathise. Mr " And yet you infer that as she's getting everything she needs and wants she won't change. He should do what? Withhold money, not help around the house, so she rethinks her ways and fucks him 5 times a week as per his wishes? | |||
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"Maybe give her space and stop asking strangers on the net about what your wife should do...." | |||
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"Love how so many assume the issue is with the OP with all the suggestions he works harder to make her feel special. The sad thing with this attitude is is promotes the idea that sex and intimacy is something that women offer in exchange for being treated a certain way, that men have to work for in order to be rewarded with and that any reduction of sexual activity in a relationship is almost certainly due to the male half not being good enough as a partner. Sex isn't a favour, it isn't something you have to be a good boy in order to be rewarded with and it isn't a currency to be used by women (or men) to get their own way. If intimacy is missing in what is otherwise a genuinely happy relationship then the person who no longer wants to be intimate has experienced a change in hormone levels, is dealing with unresolved mental health issues or the relationship isn't as good as you think it is. The reality is there is no such thing as a sex drive, intimacy comes from all kinds of sources. Yes, it can be driven by hormones and certainly in the early days of a relationship that drive to be shagging all the time is largely is but over the years this gets replaced by a need for intimacy driven by pleasure from each others touch and the desire to give pleasure to the one you love. Ultimately a relationship is a two way thing. It takes work from both parties and will only ever work if both are prepared to listen to each other and make an effort to behave in ways that makes the other happy. Simply stating you have lost your sex drive or no longer want to be intimate and then expecting your partner to make all the adjustments to live with this new lifestyle is the ultimate in selfish behaviour and is only justified by this ridiculous motion that the responsibility lays with the other partner who clearly hasn't made enough effort, put the bins out enough or bought enough bunches of flowers etc. Despite the insinuations from others on this thread this is absolutely nothing to do with making her do something she doesn't want to. This is another trope that gets thrown in on these threads to add to the stereotype that intimacy and sex is something you have to convince others to partake in. The issue is clearly that you want her to *want* to have sex with you, not that you want sex from her irrespective of whether she wants it or not. Good luck OP, you'll need it. Nothing will change your situation until your partner decides to try to change it and that depends on whether or not she understands how much this hurts you and values your happiness enough to make the effort to try. Most likely, she is happy as she is and will see no reason to change as you are still providing her with everything she needs and wants. She is likely unaware of exactly how this is making you feel simply because it won't be a feeling she has experienced so her levels of understanding will be restricted by her inability to fully empathise. Mr " Nobody said sex was a bargaining chip. Simple suggestions were made from my, albeit limited, experience in long term relationships. Although, I do know, a good bj usually works wonders in exchange for fixing the roof...(joke) | |||
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"Send dick pics. Women love dick pics. Especially the ones that insist they dont
LvM"I like 7 dick pics. Maybe from all angles, if possible. | |||
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"Love how so many assume the issue is with the OP with all the suggestions he works harder to make her feel special. The sad thing with this attitude is is promotes the idea that sex and intimacy is something that women offer in exchange for being treated a certain way, that men have to work for in order to be rewarded with and that any reduction of sexual activity in a relationship is almost certainly due to the male half not being good enough as a partner. Sex isn't a favour, it isn't something you have to be a good boy in order to be rewarded with and it isn't a currency to be used by women (or men) to get their own way. If intimacy is missing in what is otherwise a genuinely happy relationship then the person who no longer wants to be intimate has experienced a change in hormone levels, is dealing with unresolved mental health issues or the relationship isn't as good as you think it is. The reality is there is no such thing as a sex drive, intimacy comes from all kinds of sources. Yes, it can be driven by hormones and certainly in the early days of a relationship that drive to be shagging all the time is largely is but over the years this gets replaced by a need for intimacy driven by pleasure from each others touch and the desire to give pleasure to the one you love. Ultimately a relationship is a two way thing. It takes work from both parties and will only ever work if both are prepared to listen to each other and make an effort to behave in ways that makes the other happy. Simply stating you have lost your sex drive or no longer want to be intimate and then expecting your partner to make all the adjustments to live with this new lifestyle is the ultimate in selfish behaviour and is only justified by this ridiculous motion that the responsibility lays with the other partner who clearly hasn't made enough effort, put the bins out enough or bought enough bunches of flowers etc. Despite the insinuations from others on this thread this is absolutely nothing to do with making her do something she doesn't want to. This is another trope that gets thrown in on these threads to add to the stereotype that intimacy and sex is something you have to convince others to partake in. The issue is clearly that you want her to *want* to have sex with you, not that you want sex from her irrespective of whether she wants it or not. Good luck OP, you'll need it. Nothing will change your situation until your partner decides to try to change it and that depends on whether or not she understands how much this hurts you and values your happiness enough to make the effort to try. Most likely, she is happy as she is and will see no reason to change as you are still providing her with everything she needs and wants. She is likely unaware of exactly how this is making you feel simply because it won't be a feeling she has experienced so her levels of understanding will be restricted by her inability to fully empathise. Mr And yet you infer that as she's getting everything she needs and wants she won't change. He should do what? Withhold money, not help around the house, so she rethinks her ways and fucks him 5 times a week as per his wishes? " I read it as a counter balance from the majority of the thread. Where everyone assumed the man was lazy which I think is a bit harsh. I do see a lot of threads on here that say if a woman goes off sex you need to do more housework. It's far more complex than that, we all have ebbs and flows. And what if a man reads that if he does the housework and the list of extra things he's supposed to do and still doesn't get affection from his partner? To me my advice if you're sex have a conversation with your partner. Listen to why they think they may be off sex and explain how the lack of intimacy affects you. In no way should anyone have sex if they don't want to, but I do think there are other ways to show affection to your partner. | |||
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"Love how so many assume the issue is with the OP with all the suggestions he works harder to make her feel special. The sad thing with this attitude is is promotes the idea that sex and intimacy is something that women offer in exchange for being treated a certain way, that men have to work for in order to be rewarded with and that any reduction of sexual activity in a relationship is almost certainly due to the male half not being good enough as a partner. Sex isn't a favour, it isn't something you have to be a good boy in order to be rewarded with and it isn't a currency to be used by women (or men) to get their own way. If intimacy is missing in what is otherwise a genuinely happy relationship then the person who no longer wants to be intimate has experienced a change in hormone levels, is dealing with unresolved mental health issues or the relationship isn't as good as you think it is. The reality is there is no such thing as a sex drive, intimacy comes from all kinds of sources. Yes, it can be driven by hormones and certainly in the early days of a relationship that drive to be shagging all the time is largely is but over the years this gets replaced by a need for intimacy driven by pleasure from each others touch and the desire to give pleasure to the one you love. Ultimately a relationship is a two way thing. It takes work from both parties and will only ever work if both are prepared to listen to each other and make an effort to behave in ways that makes the other happy. Simply stating you have lost your sex drive or no longer want to be intimate and then expecting your partner to make all the adjustments to live with this new lifestyle is the ultimate in selfish behaviour and is only justified by this ridiculous motion that the responsibility lays with the other partner who clearly hasn't made enough effort, put the bins out enough or bought enough bunches of flowers etc. Despite the insinuations from others on this thread this is absolutely nothing to do with making her do something she doesn't want to. This is another trope that gets thrown in on these threads to add to the stereotype that intimacy and sex is something you have to convince others to partake in. The issue is clearly that you want her to *want* to have sex with you, not that you want sex from her irrespective of whether she wants it or not. Good luck OP, you'll need it. Nothing will change your situation until your partner decides to try to change it and that depends on whether or not she understands how much this hurts you and values your happiness enough to make the effort to try. Most likely, she is happy as she is and will see no reason to change as you are still providing her with everything she needs and wants. She is likely unaware of exactly how this is making you feel simply because it won't be a feeling she has experienced so her levels of understanding will be restricted by her inability to fully empathise. Mr And yet you infer that as she's getting everything she needs and wants she won't change. He should do what? Withhold money, not help around the house, so she rethinks her ways and fucks him 5 times a week as per his wishes? I read it as a counter balance from the majority of the thread. Where everyone assumed the man was lazy which I think is a bit harsh. I do see a lot of threads on here that say if a woman goes off sex you need to do more housework. It's far more complex than that, we all have ebbs and flows. And what if a man reads that if he does the housework and the list of extra things he's supposed to do and still doesn't get affection from his partner? To me my advice if you're sex have a conversation with your partner. Listen to why they think they may be off sex and explain how the lack of intimacy affects you. In no way should anyone have sex if they don't want to, but I do think there are other ways to show affection to your partner. " I agree. | |||
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"Try making her feel valued and special and not expect anything for doing so I do that every day! " Does she know you’re a member of Fab? | |||
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"I wonder if she sometimes feels that if she wants a cuddle or just little intimacies, that you would expect sex and perhaps she could shy away from that. Maybe try the cuddling etc and leaving it at that for a while. She may feel that its expected and therefore that's why her drive has dwindled. That’s good advice thanks Just an idea and good luck to you both." | |||
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"Dude, you’re on here. First things first, if she doesn’t know you’re on here, get out. Even though you feel like “you’re doing it all already” as in housework and making her feel valued …again, dude, you’re wasting time on this platform trying to get laid by someone else. You may think you’re doing it all but chances are you’re not. Not everyone on here is the same! Yes she knows, I joined to get a freesome, with two women, let’s be honest that isn’t going to happen!!! She is fine with that. Maybe your game in bed is shit. Ever considered that? I wouldn’t come back for more either if I’m not happy/satisfied. There is no magic pill. Apart from communication." | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2 "Melatonin is also prescribed for sleep problems and for egg production during IVF so it’s not only naturally produced. Melanin is a skin pigment- are you suggesting it’s a lack of vitamin D that could be the issue? I remember hearing about melanotan years ago as a tanning aid. | |||
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"Send dick pics. Women love dick pics. Especially the ones that insist they dont
LvM"And when it comes out of nowhere with zero context | |||
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"A snack plate with dairylea cheese triangles and mini bread sticks. " Oops sorry. Wrong thread. | |||
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"A snack plate with dairylea cheese triangles and mini bread sticks. Oops sorry. Wrong thread. " Are you sure? | |||
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"A snack plate with dairylea cheese triangles and mini bread sticks. Oops sorry. Wrong thread. " No, this would work for me tbh | |||
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"A snack plate with dairylea cheese triangles and mini bread sticks. Oops sorry. Wrong thread. No, this would work for me tbh " *adds to shopping list* | |||
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"Love how so many assume the issue is with the OP with all the suggestions he works harder to make her feel special. The sad thing with this attitude is is promotes the idea that sex and intimacy is something that women offer in exchange for being treated a certain way, that men have to work for in order to be rewarded with and that any reduction of sexual activity in a relationship is almost certainly due to the male half not being good enough as a partner. Sex isn't a favour, it isn't something you have to be a good boy in order to be rewarded with and it isn't a currency to be used by women (or men) to get their own way. If intimacy is missing in what is otherwise a genuinely happy relationship then the person who no longer wants to be intimate has experienced a change in hormone levels, is dealing with unresolved mental health issues or the relationship isn't as good as you think it is. The reality is there is no such thing as a sex drive, intimacy comes from all kinds of sources. Yes, it can be driven by hormones and certainly in the early days of a relationship that drive to be shagging all the time is largely is but over the years this gets replaced by a need for intimacy driven by pleasure from each others touch and the desire to give pleasure to the one you love. Ultimately a relationship is a two way thing. It takes work from both parties and will only ever work if both are prepared to listen to each other and make an effort to behave in ways that makes the other happy. Simply stating you have lost your sex drive or no longer want to be intimate and then expecting your partner to make all the adjustments to live with this new lifestyle is the ultimate in selfish behaviour and is only justified by this ridiculous motion that the responsibility lays with the other partner who clearly hasn't made enough effort, put the bins out enough or bought enough bunches of flowers etc. Despite the insinuations from others on this thread this is absolutely nothing to do with making her do something she doesn't want to. This is another trope that gets thrown in on these threads to add to the stereotype that intimacy and sex is something you have to convince others to partake in. The issue is clearly that you want her to *want* to have sex with you, not that you want sex from her irrespective of whether she wants it or not. Good luck OP, you'll need it. Nothing will change your situation until your partner decides to try to change it and that depends on whether or not she understands how much this hurts you and values your happiness enough to make the effort to try. Most likely, she is happy as she is and will see no reason to change as you are still providing her with everything she needs and wants. She is likely unaware of exactly how this is making you feel simply because it won't be a feeling she has experienced so her levels of understanding will be restricted by her inability to fully empathise. Mr And yet you infer that as she's getting everything she needs and wants she won't change. He should do what? Withhold money, not help around the house, so she rethinks her ways and fucks him 5 times a week as per his wishes? " You have totally failed to understand my point. Sex/intimacy isn't something to be bargained for or with. I said she had everything she needs and won't change because if she wanted it to be different it would be. Mr | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2
Melatonin is also prescribed for sleep problems and for egg production during IVF so it’s not only naturally produced. Melanin is a skin pigment- are you suggesting it’s a lack of vitamin D that could be the issue? I remember hearing about melanotan years ago as a tanning aid. "Yes it is a tanning aid, but.... According to a 2020 review , melanotan II has been linked to a potentially life threatening condition called renal infarction.28 May 2020 | |||
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"I'm not sure there is a general thing that works for every woman... ..maybe put the bins out, do the washing up, hoovering, flowers, be nice, that sort of stuff? " If only it was as simple as that. | |||
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"OP just so you know. My biggest loss of sexual appetite happened when my now ex partner was cheating on me. I had no idea at the time.. But on looking back, my psyche knew I was being massively disrespected and lied to.. That's a massive passion killer, known or unknown. I don't know of this is your situation but if it is.. I guarantee that is the problem. " Not my situation at all but I get that obviously would definitely be a problem. | |||
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"Love how so many assume the issue is with the OP with all the suggestions he works harder to make her feel special. The sad thing with this attitude is is promotes the idea that sex and intimacy is something that women offer in exchange for being treated a certain way, that men have to work for in order to be rewarded with and that any reduction of sexual activity in a relationship is almost certainly due to the male half not being good enough as a partner. Sex isn't a favour, it isn't something you have to be a good boy in order to be rewarded with and it isn't a currency to be used by women (or men) to get their own way. If intimacy is missing in what is otherwise a genuinely happy relationship then the person who no longer wants to be intimate has experienced a change in hormone levels, is dealing with unresolved mental health issues or the relationship isn't as good as you think it is. The reality is there is no such thing as a sex drive, intimacy comes from all kinds of sources. Yes, it can be driven by hormones and certainly in the early days of a relationship that drive to be shagging all the time is largely is but over the years this gets replaced by a need for intimacy driven by pleasure from each others touch and the desire to give pleasure to the one you love. Ultimately a relationship is a two way thing. It takes work from both parties and will only ever work if both are prepared to listen to each other and make an effort to behave in ways that makes the other happy. Simply stating you have lost your sex drive or no longer want to be intimate and then expecting your partner to make all the adjustments to live with this new lifestyle is the ultimate in selfish behaviour and is only justified by this ridiculous motion that the responsibility lays with the other partner who clearly hasn't made enough effort, put the bins out enough or bought enough bunches of flowers etc. Despite the insinuations from others on this thread this is absolutely nothing to do with making her do something she doesn't want to. This is another trope that gets thrown in on these threads to add to the stereotype that intimacy and sex is something you have to convince others to partake in. The issue is clearly that you want her to *want* to have sex with you, not that you want sex from her irrespective of whether she wants it or not. Good luck OP, you'll need it. Nothing will change your situation until your partner decides to try to change it and that depends on whether or not she understands how much this hurts you and values your happiness enough to make the effort to try. Most likely, she is happy as she is and will see no reason to change as you are still providing her with everything she needs and wants. She is likely unaware of exactly how this is making you feel simply because it won't be a feeling she has experienced so her levels of understanding will be restricted by her inability to fully empathise. Mr " Excellent answer, I was rolling my eyes at many of the predictable replies in this thread until this one | |||
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"Scenario ........ Woman goes off sex. OMG .... there's something wrong with that woman. Man want sex. How can we fix THE WOMAN. Presents, drugs...... sellotape.... ? There's an ENORMOUS possibility she doesn't need a cure. " Well said Granny | |||
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"Do some housework.. if she's not washing your pants, she will have time to be in yours. True.. A man should help her in household works also..that is called a perfect couple" Help her in household works? He lives there, he not helping her, he should be as responsible as she is. | |||
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"Do some housework.. if she's not washing your pants, she will have time to be in yours. True.. A man should help her in household works also..that is called a perfect couple Help her in household works? He lives there, he not helping her, he should be as responsible as she is." That's a huge bugbear of mine. My Dad used to say, 'I'll do the dishes for you.' ........ I used to growl ..... For me ? You ATE didn't you? God I miss him ..... | |||
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"My Dad used to say, 'I'll do the dishes for you.' ........ I used to growl ..... For me ? You ATE didn't you? God I miss him ..... "Dishes building up? | |||
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"My Dad used to say, 'I'll do the dishes for you.' ........ I used to growl ..... For me ? You ATE didn't you? God I miss him .....
Dishes building up?"LOL x | |||
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"Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again? " Aw come on. He talked to her. He gave it his best shot | |||
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"Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again? Aw come on. He talked to her. He gave it his best shot "I laughed. But then ..... | |||
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"Scenario ........ Woman goes off sex. OMG .... there's something wrong with that woman. Man want sex. How can we fix THE WOMAN. Presents, drugs...... sellotape.... ? There's an ENORMOUS possibility she doesn't need a cure. " Funny, apart from the OP's question (which he says came from his partner) asking about some kind of drug, the thread has been full of suggestions about how he can change, ways he can fix himself to solve the problem, do more housework, give her more attention, buy flowers, put the bins out etc etc. Not seen a lot of suggestions for ways to fix her at all. That said, I agree with your opinion that she doesn't need a cure. When a woman goes off sex there is absolutely nothing wrong with her at all, she simply doesn't want to have sex with the man she is with. That's not an illness, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her, she doesn't need convincing or bribing to behave otherwise. There is a possibility that he can change his behaviour and this will change how she feels about him but it's equally possible that he'll try and try and try to be the best person/ partner/friend/husband he can and it will make not the slightest bit of difference because she isn't interested in him like that anymore. Mr | |||
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"My Dad used to say, 'I'll do the dishes for you.' ........ I used to growl ..... For me ? You ATE didn't you? God I miss him .....
Dishes building up?
LOL x " | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2
Melatonin is also prescribed for sleep problems and for egg production during IVF so it’s not only naturally produced. Melanin is a skin pigment- are you suggesting it’s a lack of vitamin D that could be the issue? I remember hearing about melanotan years ago as a tanning aid. "no I'm suggesting that melanotan makes you horny as fuck male or female I know this personal experience. And melatonin is what gives your hair and skin pigment and is produced naturally in your body | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2
Melatonin is also prescribed for sleep problems and for egg production during IVF so it’s not only naturally produced. Melanin is a skin pigment- are you suggesting it’s a lack of vitamin D that could be the issue? I remember hearing about melanotan years ago as a tanning aid.
Yes it is a tanning aid, but....
According to a 2020 review , melanotan II has been linked to a potentially life threatening condition called renal infarction.28 May 2020"yea scare tactics because the government aren't taxing us on it...it wasn't actually proven. Justice cigarettes gives us cancer right? I know people who have abused the stuff for years and they're doing doing just fine | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2
Melatonin is also prescribed for sleep problems and for egg production during IVF so it’s not only naturally produced. Melanin is a skin pigment- are you suggesting it’s a lack of vitamin D that could be the issue? I remember hearing about melanotan years ago as a tanning aid.
Yes it is a tanning aid, but....
According to a 2020 review , melanotan II has been linked to a potentially life threatening condition called renal infarction.28 May 2020 yea scare tactics because the government aren't taxing us on it...it wasn't actually proven. Justice cigarettes gives us cancer right? I know people who have abused the stuff for years and they're doing doing just fine"The TGA has previously warned consumers not to use Melanotan-I, Melanotan-II or any other related injectable tanning products. Side-effects include darkened skin, increased moles and freckles, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, flushing of the face, involuntary stretching and yawning, and spontaneous erections.13 Nov 2019 | |||
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"I’d be very interested to know any ways that work. For me, my sex drive has decreased because of my emotional well-being so maybe mental well-being and sex drive are connected
Even my wife doesn’t know why it’s gone down, we have a happy life, just the sexual desire isn’t there, if I left it to when she is horny, I’d be lucky to get it once a month and I’d live it five times a week!!"Maybe not have a single profile on here? We met via fab 6 years ago . We’ve gone through life & death (literally), sickness & health. T would love it 7 nights a week but knows he’s lucky to get it once a month. It’s really not all about you. Wind your cock in & be the man she needs not the man you think you are or deserve to be. J | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2
Melatonin is also prescribed for sleep problems and for egg production during IVF so it’s not only naturally produced. Melanin is a skin pigment- are you suggesting it’s a lack of vitamin D that could be the issue? I remember hearing about melanotan years ago as a tanning aid.
Yes it is a tanning aid, but....
According to a 2020 review , melanotan II has been linked to a potentially life threatening condition called renal infarction.28 May 2020 yea scare tactics because the government aren't taxing us on it...it wasn't actually proven. Justice cigarettes gives us cancer right? I know people who have abused the stuff for years and they're doing doing just fine
The TGA has previously warned consumers not to use Melanotan-I, Melanotan-II or any other related injectable tanning products. Side-effects include darkened skin, increased moles and freckles, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, flushing of the face, involuntary stretching and yawning, and spontaneous erections.13 Nov 2019"lol I know I've taken it. I don't get what point you're trying make here I merely said it increases your libido didn't ask for a lecture | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2
Melatonin is also prescribed for sleep problems and for egg production during IVF so it’s not only naturally produced. Melanin is a skin pigment- are you suggesting it’s a lack of vitamin D that could be the issue? I remember hearing about melanotan years ago as a tanning aid.
Yes it is a tanning aid, but....
According to a 2020 review , melanotan II has been linked to a potentially life threatening condition called renal infarction.28 May 2020 yea scare tactics because the government aren't taxing us on it...it wasn't actually proven. Justice cigarettes gives us cancer right? I know people who have abused the stuff for years and they're doing doing just fine
The TGA has previously warned consumers not to use Melanotan-I, Melanotan-II or any other related injectable tanning products. Side-effects include darkened skin, increased moles and freckles, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, flushing of the face, involuntary stretching and yawning, and spontaneous erections.13 Nov 2019"and for the record you dont have to inject it you can administer via a nasal spray which is far safer | |||
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"Take her out for the night Do the housework Make her dinner Keep yourself looking nice Watch her favourite movie Surprise her with chocolates Have a laugh with her Make time for her Be the best version of yourself Tell her you love her and she looks beautiful. A lot Don't ask for sex Try this for a month R" Gotta love this. Be a perfect human for a month and she 'may' reward you for being a good boy. You do raise the OP is a human being with his own feelings, insecurities, worries and stresses? That he isn't in fact a performing monkey or a begging supplicant? Alternatively, find a woman that lives you for who and what you are, that fancies you when you're too tired to try anything on a much as when you've just bought her breakfast in bed. Mr | |||
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"I’d be very interested to know any ways that work. For me, my sex drive has decreased because of my emotional well-being so maybe mental well-being and sex drive are connected
Even my wife doesn’t know why it’s gone down, we have a happy life, just the sexual desire isn’t there, if I left it to when she is horny, I’d be lucky to get it once a month and I’d live it five times a week!!
Maybe not have a single profile on here?
We met via fab 6 years ago . We’ve gone through life & death (literally), sickness & health. T would love it 7 nights a week but knows he’s lucky to get it once a month.
It’s really not all about you.
Wind your cock in & be the man she needs not the man you think you are or deserve to be.
J "Lucky? If my partner was unable to have sex for whatever reason, I genuinely wouldn't care as long as she still showed me affection and intimacy. If she told me I was lucky that she gave it to me she'd be single very very quickly. Mr | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2
Melatonin is also prescribed for sleep problems and for egg production during IVF so it’s not only naturally produced. Melanin is a skin pigment- are you suggesting it’s a lack of vitamin D that could be the issue? I remember hearing about melanotan years ago as a tanning aid. no I'm suggesting that melanotan makes you horny as fuck male or female I know this personal experience. And melatonin is what gives your hair and skin pigment and is produced naturally in your body "Melatonin is a hormone that is linked to your sleep (and circadian rhythm I believe). Melanin is the skin pigment that is related to tanning- google it if you don’t believe me…. My suggestion of the OPs wife talking to her doctor still stands, and I’d be very cautious about taking any drugs not prescribed and/or randomly bought on the internet. | |||
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"Melanin increases sex drive massively. You can supplement it I think you mean melatonin..... no melatonin is what the body makes naturally you can get melanin and use it yourself it's called melanotan 2
Melatonin is also prescribed for sleep problems and for egg production during IVF so it’s not only naturally produced. Melanin is a skin pigment- are you suggesting it’s a lack of vitamin D that could be the issue? I remember hearing about melanotan years ago as a tanning aid.
Yes it is a tanning aid, but....
According to a 2020 review , melanotan II has been linked to a potentially life threatening condition called renal infarction.28 May 2020 yea scare tactics because the government aren't taxing us on it...it wasn't actually proven. Justice cigarettes gives us cancer right? I know people who have abused the stuff for years and they're doing doing just fine
The TGA has previously warned consumers not to use Melanotan-I, Melanotan-II or any other related injectable tanning products. Side-effects include darkened skin, increased moles and freckles, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, flushing of the face, involuntary stretching and yawning, and spontaneous erections.13 Nov 2019lol I know I've taken it. I don't get what point you're trying make here I merely said it increases your libido didn't ask for a lecture "It wasn't a 'lecture'. It was a post highlighting risks and side effects. I do believe one is permitted to reply to suggestions of taking certain drugs. | |||
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"Take her out for the night Do the housework Make her dinner Keep yourself looking nice Watch her favourite movie Surprise her with chocolates Have a laugh with her Make time for her Be the best version of yourself Tell her you love her and she looks beautiful. A lot Don't ask for sex Try this for a month R Gotta love this. Be a perfect human for a month and she 'may' reward you for being a good boy. You do raise the OP is a human being with his own feelings, insecurities, worries and stresses? That he isn't in fact a performing monkey or a begging supplicant? Alternatively, find a woman that lives you for who and what you are, that fancies you when you're too tired to try anything on a much as when you've just bought her breakfast in bed. Mr" Woman fall out of love with the man they meet. Most of the time they don't end up with that man and that's usually the reason they don't want sex anymore. My whole point was for her to fall in love with him again. If a woman doesn't want sex with a man at his best. They won't want it at his worst R | |||
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"Take her out for the night Do the housework Make her dinner Keep yourself looking nice Watch her favourite movie Surprise her with chocolates Have a laugh with her Make time for her Be the best version of yourself Tell her you love her and she looks beautiful. A lot Don't ask for sex Try this for a month R Gotta love this. Be a perfect human for a month and she 'may' reward you for being a good boy. You do raise the OP is a human being with his own feelings, insecurities, worries and stresses? That he isn't in fact a performing monkey or a begging supplicant? Alternatively, find a woman that lives you for who and what you are, that fancies you when you're too tired to try anything on a much as when you've just bought her breakfast in bed. Mr Woman fall out of love with the man they meet. Most of the time they don't end up with that man and that's usually the reason they don't want sex anymore. My whole point was for her to fall in love with him again. If a woman doesn't want sex with a man at his best. They won't want it at his worst R" Fall in love* | |||
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"Any ideas that work, done plenty of talking so any suggestions?!!" Your issue is you haven't turned the dials up before sex, turn the twisty things at the top clockwise and put a €1 coin in the slot in the middle to activate your new settings. (yes a Euro as most models originate from a factory in Germany). If you get a slap in the face then it's worked. | |||
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"I'm not sure there is a general thing that works for every woman... ..maybe put the bins out, do the washing up, hoovering, flowers, be nice, that sort of stuff? " I fear this is exactly right! Men get complacent and are constantly looking for fresh meat? We're idiots and forget the gems under our noses! I'm speaking as a crusty old singleton who's probably been and done most things so looks back with some insight?  | |||
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"You've been together 19 years?! Wow. My longest relationship is 3. I can imagine though, after 19 years of sex with the same person every day, it might get to the point of I just can't be arsed anymore..." Snap!!!! I was gonna say this. I meannnn… yeah you have a valid point x | |||
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"You've been together 19 years?! Wow. My longest relationship is 3. I can imagine though, after 19 years of sex with the same person every day, it might get to the point of I just can't be arsed anymore... Snap!!!! I was gonna say this. I meannnn… yeah you have a valid point x" 26yrs here. And we still have some cracking sex. Suppose you just need to make the effort though. | |||
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"Melanin has nothing to do with sex drive, it's a skin pigment." a quick Google will tell you it massively increases sex drive | |||
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"Melanin has nothing to do with sex drive, it's a skin pigment.a quick Google will tell you it massively increases sex drive " Surprised I have any sex drive at all then | |||
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"Any ideas that work, done plenty of talking so any suggestions?!!" ask her to join you on here, see if it works for her | |||
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"I wonder if she sometimes feels that if she wants a cuddle or just little intimacies, that you would expect sex and perhaps she could shy away from that. Maybe try the cuddling etc and leaving it at that for a while. She may feel that its expected and therefore that's why her drive has dwindled. Just an idea and good luck to you both." Oh this triggered memories of my marraige. We never just cuddled, its not his style. I locked down physically over time  | |||
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"Love how so many assume the issue is with the OP with all the suggestions he works harder to make her feel special. The sad thing with this attitude is is promotes the idea that sex and intimacy is something that women offer in exchange for being treated a certain way, that men have to work for in order to be rewarded with and that any reduction of sexual activity in a relationship is almost certainly due to the male half not being good enough as a partner. Sex isn't a favour, it isn't something you have to be a good boy in order to be rewarded with and it isn't a currency to be used by women (or men) to get their own way. If intimacy is missing in what is otherwise a genuinely happy relationship then the person who no longer wants to be intimate has experienced a change in hormone levels, is dealing with unresolved mental health issues or the relationship isn't as good as you think it is. The reality is there is no such thing as a sex drive, intimacy comes from all kinds of sources. Yes, it can be driven by hormones and certainly in the early days of a relationship that drive to be shagging all the time is largely is but over the years this gets replaced by a need for intimacy driven by pleasure from each others touch and the desire to give pleasure to the one you love. Ultimately a relationship is a two way thing. It takes work from both parties and will only ever work if both are prepared to listen to each other and make an effort to behave in ways that makes the other happy. Simply stating you have lost your sex drive or no longer want to be intimate and then expecting your partner to make all the adjustments to live with this new lifestyle is the ultimate in selfish behaviour and is only justified by this ridiculous motion that the responsibility lays with the other partner who clearly hasn't made enough effort, put the bins out enough or bought enough bunches of flowers etc. Despite the insinuations from others on this thread this is absolutely nothing to do with making her do something she doesn't want to. This is another trope that gets thrown in on these threads to add to the stereotype that intimacy and sex is something you have to convince others to partake in. The issue is clearly that you want her to *want* to have sex with you, not that you want sex from her irrespective of whether she wants it or not. Good luck OP, you'll need it. Nothing will change your situation until your partner decides to try to change it and that depends on whether or not she understands how much this hurts you and values your happiness enough to make the effort to try. Most likely, she is happy as she is and will see no reason to change as you are still providing her with everything she needs and wants. She is likely unaware of exactly how this is making you feel simply because it won't be a feeling she has experienced so her levels of understanding will be restricted by her inability to fully empathise. Mr " | |||
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"Melanin has nothing to do with sex drive, it's a skin pigment.a quick Google will tell you it massively increases sex drive Surprised I have any sex drive at all then "lol have some melanotan your clit will be throbbing all day (not even joking) | |||
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"Fab, in all its glory! " Standard. Obviously I include myself in that. I'm aware that I am here - unlike others who position their pedestal ever higher and higher and think it elevates them from the shit. Why expect anything else? | |||
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"There some great replies here and some terrible! All the good advice I already do so maybe we just have different sex drives, as I get older sex is all I think about most of the time! I’ll just have to keep Substituting with my imagination! " Sounds like it's perhaps you that has changed and not your wife | |||
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"I’d be very interested to know any ways that work. For me, my sex drive has decreased because of my emotional well-being so maybe mental well-being and sex drive are connected
Even my wife doesn’t know why it’s gone down, we have a happy life, just the sexual desire isn’t there, if I left it to when she is horny, I’d be lucky to get it once a month and I’d live it five times a week!!
Maybe not have a single profile on here?
We met via fab 6 years ago . We’ve gone through life & death (literally), sickness & health. T would love it 7 nights a week but knows he’s lucky to get it once a month.
It’s really not all about you.
Wind your cock in & be the man she needs not the man you think you are or deserve to be.
J
Lucky? If my partner was unable to have sex for whatever reason, I genuinely wouldn't care as long as she still showed me affection and intimacy. If she told me I was lucky that she gave it to me she'd be single very very quickly.
Mr"Yes he is lucky as my libido has disappeared through early menopause. He gets plenty of affection & intimacy. He knows I love him & still find him incredibly sexy. | |||
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