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Covid spelt backwards is…

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Divoc

So what the divoc is going on?

Let’s make this wet Saturday better by having some Covid related jokes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I long for the old days when we would all eat cake right after someone had just blown on it......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!"

Maybe that’s where they got the measurement from

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I long for the old days when we would all eat cake right after someone had just blown on it...... "

I heard this one the other day and laughed so hard

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"I long for the old days when we would all eat cake right after someone had just blown on it......

I heard this one the other day and laughed so hard "

I just made it up !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.

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By *onnynclaireCouple
over a year ago

Reading

Not so

Much a joke but a funny dilemma.

What is the right thing to do when needing a sneeze while wearing mask?

I keep the mask on and still sneeze into my arm.

At least no one sees the boogers lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake."

You mean you don’t?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not so

Much a joke but a funny dilemma.

What is the right thing to do when needing a sneeze while wearing mask?

I keep the mask on and still sneeze into my arm.

At least no one sees the boogers lol"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s jb back words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.

You mean you don’t? "

I've eaten it by the time I'm out the bathroom.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

———

Why did the chicken cross the road with another chicken following close behind?

…..

Because the other chicken didn’t know how to socially distance himself…

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By *uv2kissMan
over a year ago

fenland

I long for the days when banks wouldn't serve you while you were wearing a mask.

Now they will not serve you if you are not wearing a mask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve heard a rumour that lots of Germans are stockpiling cheese & sausage in the anticipation of another COVID lockdown - in other words planning for a Wurst-Käse scenario

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

———

Why did the chicken cross the road with another chicken following close behind?

…..

Because the other chicken didn’t know how to socially distance himself…"

loved the lettuce ones

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I long for the days when banks wouldn't serve you while you were wearing a mask.

Now they will not serve you if you are not wearing a mask"

So true

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve heard a rumour that lots of Germans are stockpiling cheese & sausage in the anticipation of another COVID lockdown - in other words planning for a Wurst-Käse scenario"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the chap speculating on hand sanitiser companies?

He was rubbing his hands together.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere


"Not so

Much a joke but a funny dilemma.

What is the right thing to do when needing a sneeze while wearing mask?

I keep the mask on and still sneeze into my arm.

At least no one sees the boogers lol"

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

tleps

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

When COVID first appeared I thought,

What’s the problem?

19 and spreads easily, my prayers have been answered.

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By *LiamMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Divock origi

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 11/12/21 16:07:21]

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

That is a good one too. I also like this acronym of it: Certification of vaccination identification by artificial intelligence? lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who'd have thought you'd be able to get so many pricks on the NHS?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quarantine has really put a damper on comedy.. for months nobody has walked into a bar.

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle somewhere

I normally stay away from threads on this subject, but glad I came into this one.

Some good jokes in here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to cough to hide a fart.

Now I have to fart to hide a cough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"tleps"

Isn't that a type of grain, Granny?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Quarantine has really put a damper on comedy.. for months nobody has walked into a bar."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Covid joke I hear you ask…

The government.

Boris

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, that's where I'm taking you when this pandemic ends."

Turns out, we're spending two weeks behind the fridge.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Covid is no joke

And on that note I'm out

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma


"My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, that's where I'm taking you when this pandemic ends."

Turns out, we're spending two weeks behind the fridge."

I'm so using this one

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Covid shouldn't last much longer because, it was made in China, and nothing made in China was ever made to last.

A London pal of mine has told me that covid viruses don't go near South London as they are more likely to get stabbed there than anywhere else.

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