FabSwingers.com forum: Normal is a dated concept.

By *ountessmarch OP Couple
over a year ago

Beverley

We hear 'normal' thrown around to explain a lot of things and the definition seems to express conforming to a standard; a standard being the prototypical 'normal' from a particular societal construct. To a certain degree, in certain fields of work a 'normal range' is a fantastic tool to have ..with the professional understanding that everyone or everything is different and professional understanding of the factors that create that 'normal' are far more important than a defined well, normal. A labourer might need to adjust his normal formulation for structural supports based on foundation and environment and a business person may need to adjust their marketing and pitch to different audiences.

It seems though the idea of normality is inherently flawed and stems from societal construct and changes depending where you are in the world, or even in the same country.

Does it create more negative connotations than benefits regarding people?

For instance, neurodiversity is something that should be harnessed positively but is traditional education indirectly stunting harnessing a person's strengths and inhibiting weakness? There is of course the question of finance of education etc. which of course isn't the aim of this post but to get people to question what normal means to them!

We read a fantastic post on transgenderism and the insurmountable amount of mental health, body dysmorphia and societal 'standards' that inhibit a person to identify as the gender they choose too.

Are we focusing too much on labels with this or should we be focusing on educating acceptance of him/ her/ they/ pronoun as a person?

We are genuinely interested to hear other thoughts and views whether agreeing or disagreeing.

To us, it seems relatively unimportant how a 'normal' a person is, but far more important that they are a person with strengths and weaknesses like everyone else.

Should acceptance and diversity be taught in addition to current curriculum?

The longer we've explored our own sexuality and attraction and the sexuality of others we have had the pleasure of playing with the, the more we've come to realise how it's more of a scale than a binary answer.

For instance a person may enjoy sexual interaction with another of their sex but not identify as a particular sexuality. By historical standards, the answer is more grey than black and white.

Seems to us the need for absolute definition is damaging far more than acceptance would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a big advocate of diversity, acceptance and understanding and I do think it should be taught in schools. Not one person is the same regardless of what is normal. Normal is societies expectations.

The more we understand that we are all different and the education around this and triggers will move the world forwards as a much more inclusive place to live

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

'I think this should be taught in schools' is a phrase bandied about an awful lot about concepts that have been 'taught' in schools for decades.

Don't forget the greatest influence on a child is their home life pre schooling and later their home life can counter or support their school learning.....

Don't forget their peer groups either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I think this should be taught in schools' is a phrase bandied about an awful lot about concepts that have been 'taught' in schools for decades.

Don't forget the greatest influence on a child is their home life pre schooling and later their home life can counter or support their school learning.....

Don't forget their peer groups either "

Parental learning and education is so important in a child’s development as they learn from copying to begin with and learn from parents attitudes towards other people and situations

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By *ountessmarch OP Couple
over a year ago

Beverley

Absolutely! There are a huge number of factors within what creates a societal/ cultural norm. And yes, schools do to a certain extent teach these topics!

We've seen a lot of hate thrown around on various social medias and forums where it seems a lack of acknowledgement of these factors continues the cycle.

We're certainly not making education out to be public enemy number one but just used as an example in questioning what created the norm and if or why it is positive or negative in a generalised sense on personal levels!

Thanks for your input!

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"'I think this should be taught in schools' is a phrase bandied about an awful lot about concepts that have been 'taught' in schools for decades.

Don't forget the greatest influence on a child is their home life pre schooling and later their home life can counter or support their school learning.....

Don't forget their peer groups either "

Was gonna say the same thing. I remember being taught that stuff 20 years ago in school

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By *ountessmarch OP Couple
over a year ago

Beverley

We all have a different upbringing, different experiences in home life, pre and post schooling, education.

So where does the 'normal' come into it?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Everyone thinks they're normal. Except the people who take pride in not being normal (and they are usually waaay more normal than they'd like you to know).

There are certain things that need to be normalised in my opinion and one of them is acceptance of other people's opinions and way of life but another is not accepting other people's opinions and way of life if they're harmful.

So...where was I?

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By *ountessmarch OP Couple
over a year ago

Beverley

"There are certain things that need to be normalised in my opinion and one of them is acceptance of other people's opinions and way of life but another is not accepting other people's opinions and way of life if they're harmful."

Precisely! If you are living life in a way you enjoy which doesn't harm others then crack on!

Acceptance has had progression in recent years but there is still some way to go!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

normal is just a concept created when the majority agree on a common principle, anything outside that is considered abnormal or an aberration, it doesn't mean that the common principle is natural though.

As Morticia once said, what's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think the concept of 'normal' is taught. It's experienced.

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Without a set of norms society would be chaos. If someone murders someone we don't say that's normal do we and go on with kife. Norms are a code of conduct/behaviour that different societies and cultures live by. What we would consider as "normal". Individual normality is however different and we are all our own person. What is right for one person isn't right for another. It's our acceptance of difference that divides. Until we accept that diversity and equality are important we will continue down the path of division. We all have our preferences but that should be accepted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better minds than mine know how to properly figure this one through. But I'm thinking 'normal' always recalibrates itself every so often, it's always in a state of evolution, change and flux

It just, perhaps doesn't do it fast enough for some people's liking or in a way that they'd like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Better minds than mine know how to properly figure this one through. But I'm thinking 'normal' always recalibrates itself every so often, it's always in a state of evolution, change and flux

It just, perhaps doesn't do it fast enough for some people's liking or in a way that they'd like"

I'd go further than that and argue that it's constantly changing.

Add to that that it's different for everyone.

I heard a great comment recently about the idea of 'manliness' and somebody pointed out that you've no idea what that means in somebody else's mind.

You could say the same for normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/12/21 17:47:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a world where normal is not the norm, we will always have….average.

Just because we are more aware of, accepting of and accommodating (generally) of many outlier things we may now include as in the sphere of ‘normal’ doesn’t mean the average won’t sit slap bang where is always has

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What was normal 200 years ago wasn’t normal 100 years ago. We’re constantly evolving and shifting boundaries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a world where normal is not the norm, we will always have….average.

Unless those outliers are biased in specific ways...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Precisely! If you are living life in a way you enjoy which doesn't harm others then crack on!

Acceptance has had progression in recent years but there is still some way to go!"

In my opinion it's not in the human make up to accept difference easily. What difference we are prepared to accept changes though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Normal is merely a persons perspective of what they see as their spectrum of interest and acceptable behaviour.

So all our normals vary.

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By *orkshireDrifterMan
over a year ago

Nafferton, nr Driffield.

'Normal' as a statistical concept has some meaning but it positively negative when applied in a descriptive sense to individuals or groups.

Think 'abnormal' to grasp the implications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Normal is merely a persons perspective of what they see as their spectrum of interest and acceptable behaviour.

So all our normals vary."

True but I think overall there’s a norm where majority of people view collectively as normal.

Either way, normal can be kinda boring

but also it is like a comfy blanket that we need x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Normal is merely a persons perspective of what they see as their spectrum of interest and acceptable behaviour.

So all our normals vary.

True but I think overall there’s a norm where majority of people view collectively as normal.

Either way, normal can be kinda boring

but also it is like a comfy blanket that we need x "

That's a good point too, happy Saturday.

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