FabSwingers.com forum: Love language

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I’ve seen some bits and pieces about this over the past few years and today I saw another thing about it. It’s set me thinking about what I look for and how I want to have feelings or desires communicated to me.

If you’re unsure as to what it is, love language is how you express your interest, feelings and desires with a partner, and how they communicate that with you.

My question is; what is yours? Do you feel that you get yours met and how important is it for you to understand a partners love language and to be understood? Is it something that’s set in stone or do you try to adapt to someone as you learn about them?

Thoughts fabbers…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can do a quiz and it tells you your love language - it's interesting.

Mine is physical touch. I'm very affectionate.

What's yours op?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can do a quiz and it tells you your love language - it's interesting.

Mine is physical touch. I'm very affectionate.

What's yours op? "

Off to Google the quiz!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can do a quiz and it tells you your love language - it's interesting.

Mine is physical touch. I'm very affectionate.

What's yours op?

Off to Google the quiz! "

It's the 5lovelanguages one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physical touch here too, which doesn't surprise me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried the quiz and gave up...I didn't want either option on the questions!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Quality time and words of affirmation are ranked equally for me which isn't surprising.

The former, not right now. It's difficult with my partner working very long hours and the man I'm seeing being busy. I do try and make sure that when we have time together it is just that though.

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By *nly4funMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Acts of service (giving)

Physical touch (receiving)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Acts of Service and affirmation for me.

We have a book on love languages and do something from it every day.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Acts of service and touch were my almost equal top two, which makes a lot of sense

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"You can do a quiz and it tells you your love language - it's interesting.

Mine is physical touch. I'm very affectionate.

What's yours op? "

Time, words and touch fairly evenly.

That just proves what I already knew; I’m needy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've talked about love language in a group I'm part of - new to me. I think most people have a couple, mine was entirely physical touch.

I wish I had known this when with someone whose love language was giving & receiving gifts. It would have explained a lot!

I think it can also be used in a work environment?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've talked about love language in a group I'm part of - new to me. I think most people have a couple, mine was entirely physical touch.

I wish I had known this when with someone whose love language was giving & receiving gifts. It would have explained a lot!

I think it can also be used in a work environment?"

I think it can be used in every relationship we have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can do a quiz and it tells you your love language - it's interesting.

Mine is physical touch. I'm very affectionate.

What's yours op?

Time, words and touch fairly evenly.

That just proves what I already knew; I’m needy

You are absolutely not needy because we all need and use all of them but most of us have one dominant one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've talked about love language in a group I'm part of - new to me. I think most people have a couple, mine was entirely physical touch.

I wish I had known this when with someone whose love language was giving & receiving gifts. It would have explained a lot!

I think it can also be used in a work environment?

I think it can be used in every relationship we have. "

The discussion I had highlighted that couples can work with theirs once they understand them. But ..surely some combos are just not going to work? Someone whose entire language of love is giving or receiving stufff - I watch out for that and avoid. Unfair?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've talked about love language in a group I'm part of - new to me. I think most people have a couple, mine was entirely physical touch.

I wish I had known this when with someone whose love language was giving & receiving gifts. It would have explained a lot!

I think it can also be used in a work environment?

I think it can be used in every relationship we have. "

Yes, definitely! I think it's useful to know children's as well to understand their communication needs better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've talked about love language in a group I'm part of - new to me. I think most people have a couple, mine was entirely physical touch.

I wish I had known this when with someone whose love language was giving & receiving gifts. It would have explained a lot!

I think it can also be used in a work environment?

I think it can be used in every relationship we have.

I dont agree with that because if that's how they show and express their love but generally the relationship is fairly steady and even I don't see that's necessarily an issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quality Time

In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether it's spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Quality time. I like their attention.

Words of affirmation. I like knowing I’m cared about.

Physical touch. I enjoy cuddles, kissing and sex and I like a fella I’m interested in to like those things too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've talked about love language in a group I'm part of - new to me. I think most people have a couple, mine was entirely physical touch.

I wish I had known this when with someone whose love language was giving & receiving gifts. It would have explained a lot!

I think it can also be used in a work environment?

I think it can be used in every relationship we have.

I dont agree with that because if that's how they show and express their love but generally the relationship is fairly steady and even I don't see that's necessarily an issue.

I can't think it work for me. It's a huge clash for me. But knowing what does:doesn't work is also very valuable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quality Time

Oddly enough the rest go

Acts of service 23%

Words of affirmation 17%

Physical touch 17%

Receiving gifts 7%

Even though before the test id say i was highly affectionate through physical touch. Probably second after quality time. Not sure how acts of service can come out second

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Quality of time & physical touch equal at 45% each, with the affirmation of word and receiving of gifts at 2% each.

Not a surprise at all

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

I did the test and got Quality Time which I would agree with as is it something we both value and put a lot of effort into making sure we get together. With kids and work it isn’t always easy so we really value it and make the most of it when we get it.

My 2nd highest was receiving gifts. I think I kept choosing that as it’s not something I ever get so to me it would mean a lot if he did do that. I get plenty of affection so perhaps because I get it I take it for granted and it doesn’t feel as important to me.

It’s an interesting subject.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

For me, it’s a mixture of a few things OP…

Little unexpected surprises.. It could be as simple as a note left on the bathroom mirror or an unexpected date night.

Quality time..A long lie in, long conversations about anything and everything. Just spending time together, dancing to your favourite song. Laughing at each others silly jokes.

Physical touch..Holding hands, a kiss on your shoulder, a hug, his hand on the small of your back or the brush of a hand on her/his bum, exploring each other slowly as if you’ve never seen each other naked and want to memorize every inch of them.

Words of affirmation..They don’t always have to be spoken you can see it in each others eyes. I think the words I love you come to easily form some and are just words with no honesty attached.

Nothing you do for each other had to be grandiose, at least for me, it’s all the little unexpected things we do for each other.

Things done for each other not because it’s Valentine’s Day or Christmas but little things we do for each other just because that person mean so much to us, they are such an important part of our life and who we are, you would do anything for them.

A mix of the above or just one little thing. Each one as important as the other.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

My love language is quality time together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think mine would be touch in very tactile but I’m not entirely sure! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think mine would be touch in very tactile but I’m not entirely sure! X"

Have a look at the quiz on Google mine actually surprised me.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I've not done the quiz but I know mine.

Mine is time spent together or doing something to help them. Touch is important even if it's resting legs on laps when reading a book.

Then there's taking an interest in their hobby even if it's not something I'm into. I will learn the basics so I hold a decent conversation about the thing they love doing.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

I know mine. It’s when you put your selfish needs aside to know you partner is having their needs met. Example

My EX would always tell me it’s bedtime. I know it seems silly, but she knew I needed to be well rested for work, she didn’t wanna see me tired. Sure she wanted to stay up with me and do stuff, but she put that to the side and made sure I got what I needed to do well in life

Seems silly but it always meant to world to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quality time, physical affection and doing little things to show you've thought about that person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did the quiz. Words of affirmation came out top. Surprisingly x

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

Physical touch, quality time and words of affirmation all fairly even for me, with the physical just pipping the others to the post. No surprise there really

Posh

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart? "

I think it’s important to know or figure out.

For example, for me I find the act of receiving gifts and compliments uncomfortable, I hate fuss. So if that’s the partners main way of showing it, it probably wouldn’t work

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Words of affirmation and quality time are my top two followed by physical touch..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart?

I think it’s important to know or figure out.

For example, for me I find the act of receiving gifts and compliments uncomfortable, I hate fuss. So if that’s the partners main way of showing it, it probably wouldn’t work "

I said the same thing further up. It's something an ex did, and it doesn't work for me. There's nothing wrong with it - it's the mix of love languages that has to work.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart?

I think it’s important to know or figure out.

For example, for me I find the act of receiving gifts and compliments uncomfortable, I hate fuss. So if that’s the partners main way of showing it, it probably wouldn’t work

I said the same thing further up. It's something an ex did, and it doesn't work for me. There's nothing wrong with it - it's the mix of love languages that has to work."

Agree nothing wrong with it if that is how people like it, it’s just not for me, as you say it’s finding that right balance between the two people.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

My love language is based on using their bum cheeks as a drum, and then using tribal beats to convey my message

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Physical Touch for me (not surprising because of my tactile nature).

Receiving Gifts was at the lower end of the scale.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart?

I think it’s important to know or figure out.

For example, for me I find the act of receiving gifts and compliments uncomfortable, I hate fuss. So if that’s the partners main way of showing it, it probably wouldn’t work

I said the same thing further up. It's something an ex did, and it doesn't work for me. There's nothing wrong with it - it's the mix of love languages that has to work.

Agree nothing wrong with it if that is how people like it, it’s just not for me, as you say it’s finding that right balance between the two people. "

Absolutely. And I can see from responses here that most people have a couple of ways they express affection so it needn't be a match breaker.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart?

I think it’s important to know or figure out.

For example, for me I find the act of receiving gifts and compliments uncomfortable, I hate fuss. So if that’s the partners main way of showing it, it probably wouldn’t work

I said the same thing further up. It's something an ex did, and it doesn't work for me. There's nothing wrong with it - it's the mix of love languages that has to work.

Agree nothing wrong with it if that is how people like it, it’s just not for me, as you say it’s finding that right balance between the two people. "

Perhaps it’s about learning that about each other too and developing your own ways of expressing yourself and vice versa.

I think if people aren’t willing to learn or be flexible in how a partner needs to feel wanted, then it’s definitely not going to go well. Although that’s probably indicative of the person’s broader approach anyway!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart?

I think it’s important to know or figure out.

For example, for me I find the act of receiving gifts and compliments uncomfortable, I hate fuss. So if that’s the partners main way of showing it, it probably wouldn’t work

I said the same thing further up. It's something an ex did, and it doesn't work for me. There's nothing wrong with it - it's the mix of love languages that has to work.

Agree nothing wrong with it if that is how people like it, it’s just not for me, as you say it’s finding that right balance between the two people.

Perhaps it’s about learning that about each other too and developing your own ways of expressing yourself and vice versa.

Of course flexibility is needed in all relationships.

However, you can get a sense of some things early on like the over compliments, gift giving. You can say it makes you uncomfortable but if that’s the other persons way, why would I want them not to be their true selves, having to suppress a part of them going forwards in a relationship It’s an early flag that it’s not likely to work, for me.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart?

I think it’s important to know or figure out.

For example, for me I find the act of receiving gifts and compliments uncomfortable, I hate fuss. So if that’s the partners main way of showing it, it probably wouldn’t work

I said the same thing further up. It's something an ex did, and it doesn't work for me. There's nothing wrong with it - it's the mix of love languages that has to work.

Agree nothing wrong with it if that is how people like it, it’s just not for me, as you say it’s finding that right balance between the two people.

Perhaps it’s about learning that about each other too and developing your own ways of expressing yourself and vice versa.

Of course flexibility is needed in all relationships.

I see your point, although if neither side is aware of these things then maybe it’s something that evolves over time

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart?

I think it’s important to know or figure out.

For example, for me I find the act of receiving gifts and compliments uncomfortable, I hate fuss. So if that’s the partners main way of showing it, it probably wouldn’t work

I said the same thing further up. It's something an ex did, and it doesn't work for me. There's nothing wrong with it - it's the mix of love languages that has to work.

Agree nothing wrong with it if that is how people like it, it’s just not for me, as you say it’s finding that right balance between the two people.

Perhaps it’s about learning that about each other too and developing your own ways of expressing yourself and vice versa.

Of course flexibility is needed in all relationships.

I see your point, although if neither side is aware of these things then maybe it’s something that evolves over time"

The types I’m talking about show themselves very early on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Words of affirmation by a long way for me

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I think it’s great that people are doing the quiz! I didn’t realise that mine would be like that.

Do folks think that it’s important to know a partners or is it something that you learn through being with them?

If someone doesn’t speak the same ‘language’ does it change, do you learn or will it just fall apart? "

I'm personally not one for quizzes like this. I think we will have uncon-scious bias when we fill them in. Plus I think some people (not all obviously) use certain ones as an excuse for their behaviours.

For me I kinda like bumbling though things and finding out can we argue? Can we compromise? What makes the other person tick? The excitement and joy when you find out you are doing something right. And ultimately finding our own way of doing things together.

Me and M are very different and I personally wouldn't have it any other way, it brings up the best out of each other

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

I don’t have a love language. I don’t let people get close enough to love me in any romantic manner.

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