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Approaching Women

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been one to go out or drink much so I can't vouch for years ago but recently when we've been out we actually get approached by quite a few people - mostly guys.

Most just to chat because we aren't the "locals". Although the last time that happened one of the guys got a lucky snog I'm more sociable once I've had a drink. Heck I might even have a dance on the table, who knows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t say I’ve ever really approached a woman.

Poor self confidence and self image has prevented me from gaining the ability to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a guys perspective, a lot f younger guys who dont have balls of steel confidence just completely lack the experience to approach women, and then anxiety sets in, or they just have anxiety to begin with and dread the thought of approaching a woman like that

But then theres also the fear of being demonised through the act of approaching a woman. A woman and/or her friends could take it the wrong way and label you a pervert or creep or whichever noun they would like to throw at you, and the possibility of being chucked out of a bar.

Its why online dating has become so popular in modern times. It completely removes almost all risk (though you can still get rejected or catfished)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?"

I’m often uncomfortably stared at but not often approached

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I have never had guys approach me overtly. I normally get into random conversation with someone and at the end of it I walk away with their phone number or they ask me out for a drink.

I'm a middle aged fat bird, so I'm not leaving a trail of lovelorn swains everywhere I go, but I'd say it happens every month or two (less often over the last year or two because I'm hardly going anywhere).

In my teens and 20s things were very different, but they were different times. If I was bored I'd head to Blockbuster video on a Friday and come away with a date for the Saturday (I had many many fun times facilitated by Blockbuster). It was a dull week indeed if I didn't get at least one number.

I think part of the change is my age and part is general societal change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?

I’m often uncomfortably stared at but not often approached "

Theres a reason for that. Youre insanely gorgeous and LOTS of guys are in awe as they look upon you... but, almost all of them feel like they have ZERO chance with you, even if they just wanted to strike up a conversation. Many of them are very much intimated by your looks and think theyll get instantly shot down. So they just sit there staring at you. Unfortunate for both sides i know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?

I’m often uncomfortably stared at but not often approached

Theres a reason for that. Youre insanely gorgeous and LOTS of guys are in awe as they look upon you... but, almost all of them feel like they have ZERO chance with you, even if they just wanted to strike up a conversation. Many of them are very much intimated by your looks and think theyll get instantly shot down. So they just sit there staring at you. Unfortunate for both sides i know"

Very unfortunate!! Some are extremely hot but their staring puts me off (and also, I won’t approach them!)

Thank you though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?

I’m often uncomfortably stared at but not often approached

Theres a reason for that. Youre insanely gorgeous and LOTS of guys are in awe as they look upon you... but, almost all of them feel like they have ZERO chance with you, even if they just wanted to strike up a conversation. Many of them are very much intimated by your looks and think theyll get instantly shot down. So they just sit there staring at you. Unfortunate for both sides i know

Very unfortunate!! Some are extremely hot but their staring puts me off (and also, I won’t approach them!)

Thank you though "

Sometimes those guys just need a little nudge, a little boost of confidence. Before the staring gets too awkward for you, give them a little nod when you make eye contact, or some kind of gesture thats inviting

At the end of the day, unless either one of you throws a bone or makes a move, youre simply going to be stuck in that limbo of awkward staring

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm definitely approached much less than I used to be. When I was in my early twenties I would probably be approached every couple of days on the street, on public transport in a bar etc. Nowadays I'm only approached by people wanting to help me across the road

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm definitely approached much less than I used to be. When I was in my early twenties I would probably be approached every couple of days on the street, on public transport in a bar etc. Nowadays I'm only approached by people wanting to help me across the road "

Who knew the zebra crossing was a place for women to pck up guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From a guys perspective, a lot f younger guys who dont have balls of steel confidence just completely lack the experience to approach women, and then anxiety sets in, or they just have anxiety to begin with and dread the thought of approaching a woman like that

But then theres also the fear of being demonised through the act of approaching a woman. A woman and/or her friends could take it the wrong way and label you a pervert or creep or whichever noun they would like to throw at you, and the possibility of being chucked out of a bar.

Its why online dating has become so popular in modern times. It completely removes almost all risk (though you can still get rejected or catfished)"

This. Exactly this!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm definitely approached much less than I used to be. When I was in my early twenties I would probably be approached every couple of days on the street, on public transport in a bar etc. Nowadays I'm only approached by people wanting to help me across the road

Who knew the zebra crossing was a place for women to pck up guys "

It's all that's left for an old lady

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I agree with _uriousscouser, used to just chat with people waiting at the bar etc.

I think it's more to do with the lost art of conversation. And much of it's to do with mobile phones and people having their heads burried in them. When I was younger people chatted with you as it was boring waiting in a queue. You knew it wasn't because they necessarily fancied you and I think that made people more open and friendly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The kids these days don't know how to chat up a woman without using aubergine emojis.

Us slightly older gents mastered the art years ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I never get approached when I'm out. If I'm out with a group of friends sometimes we may end up chatting to another group of guys but its rare that I ever get chatted up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?

I’m often uncomfortably stared at but not often approached

Theres a reason for that. Youre insanely gorgeous and LOTS of guys are in awe as they look upon you... but, almost all of them feel like they have ZERO chance with you, even if they just wanted to strike up a conversation. Many of them are very much intimated by your looks and think theyll get instantly shot down. So they just sit there staring at you. Unfortunate for both sides i know

Very unfortunate!! Some are extremely hot but their staring puts me off (and also, I won’t approach them!)

Thank you though

Sometimes those guys just need a little nudge, a little boost of confidence. Before the staring gets too awkward for you, give them a little nod when you make eye contact, or some kind of gesture thats inviting

At the end of the day, unless either one of you throws a bone or makes a move, youre simply going to be stuck in that limbo of awkward staring"

I was crossing the road with my dog and a guy was looking at me and then again. Very cute too. Obviously I looked away and then stared at the traffic lights. FFS.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The kids these days don't know how to chat up a woman without using aubergine emojis.

Us slightly older gents mastered the art years ago. "

Omg so thats where ive been going wrong!

I need start bringing an eggplant with me when go to the spoons

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?

I’m often uncomfortably stared at but not often approached

Theres a reason for that. Youre insanely gorgeous and LOTS of guys are in awe as they look upon you... but, almost all of them feel like they have ZERO chance with you, even if they just wanted to strike up a conversation. Many of them are very much intimated by your looks and think theyll get instantly shot down. So they just sit there staring at you. Unfortunate for both sides i know

Very unfortunate!! Some are extremely hot but their staring puts me off (and also, I won’t approach them!)

Thank you though "

I'm not going to beat a dead horse as to why I don't approach women lol. But it is curious that you said they were extremely hot but the staring still put you off. So would you rather they approach you and talk to you rather than stare?

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By *ldergent2021Man
over a year ago

Retford

I am obviously so old

I think it is a shame that we dont indulge in chatting and being charming anymore

As i have a great face for radio i would have to be charming and articulate

I would happily chat if i met the criteria of you lovely ladies and gentlemen

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm definitely approached much less than I used to be. When I was in my early twenties I would probably be approached every couple of days on the street, on public transport in a bar etc. Nowadays I'm only approached by people wanting to help me across the road "

That's an interesting thing I didn't bring up though, I think the only way I ever approach a woman is to help her out, but I do the same with guys all the time. But yea and even then I'm still very cautious about approaching a woman to help her and I don't try to conversate with her or even get her number etc, it's simply a kind platonic gesture

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Less guys approach me the older I get..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?

I’m often uncomfortably stared at but not often approached

Theres a reason for that. Youre insanely gorgeous and LOTS of guys are in awe as they look upon you... but, almost all of them feel like they have ZERO chance with you, even if they just wanted to strike up a conversation. Many of them are very much intimated by your looks and think theyll get instantly shot down. So they just sit there staring at you. Unfortunate for both sides i know

Very unfortunate!! Some are extremely hot but their staring puts me off (and also, I won’t approach them!)

Thank you though

I'm not going to beat a dead horse as to why I don't approach women lol. But it is curious that you said they were extremely hot but the staring still put you off. So would you rather they approach you and talk to you rather than stare? "

Of course! Don’t stand and stare like a weirdo! I don’t just mean a glance either, I mean staring! Without a break!

I also like a confident man who knows what he wants, not a shy man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?

I’m often uncomfortably stared at but not often approached

Theres a reason for that. Youre insanely gorgeous and LOTS of guys are in awe as they look upon you... but, almost all of them feel like they have ZERO chance with you, even if they just wanted to strike up a conversation. Many of them are very much intimated by your looks and think theyll get instantly shot down. So they just sit there staring at you. Unfortunate for both sides i know

Very unfortunate!! Some are extremely hot but their staring puts me off (and also, I won’t approach them!)

Thank you though "

also as for staring, I guess I'm a bit weird but when I'm in public I go out of my way to not let a woman know I'm interested in her. So I definitely don't do the staring, regardless of how beautiful I think they are.

I think a lot of it is also because my culture back home is so different than across here. Anyway I'll leave it there for now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Piggybacking off another post. I normally hear women say that guys don't really approach them like they used to.

Is that true, as women have you noticed less and less guys approach you and your friends when you're out?

I’m often uncomfortably stared at but not often approached

Theres a reason for that. Youre insanely gorgeous and LOTS of guys are in awe as they look upon you... but, almost all of them feel like they have ZERO chance with you, even if they just wanted to strike up a conversation. Many of them are very much intimated by your looks and think theyll get instantly shot down. So they just sit there staring at you. Unfortunate for both sides i know

Very unfortunate!! Some are extremely hot but their staring puts me off (and also, I won’t approach them!)

Thank you though

I'm not going to beat a dead horse as to why I don't approach women lol. But it is curious that you said they were extremely hot but the staring still put you off. So would you rather they approach you and talk to you rather than stare?

Of course! Don’t stand and stare like a weirdo! I don’t just mean a glance either, I mean staring! Without a break!

I also like a confident man who knows what he wants, not a shy man."

I'm not shy (actually most people think I'm too confident to the point of cocky, which I'm working on), just cautious about how I interact with white women in this country (no other polite way to say it sorry), too many experiences with racism unfortunately (most times I prefer not even to leave my house) I'll leave it at that lol

But hope you have better luck out there xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The kids these days don't know how to chat up a woman without using aubergine emojis.

Us slightly older gents mastered the art years ago.

Omg so thats where ive been going wrong!

I need start bringing an eggplant with me when go to the spoons "

Just stuff it in your Y-fronts like all us other old dogs

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I don't approach women in social setting of pubs/clubs. Even.wjen.i.was on my twenties or 30s.

Also I had a female friend who told me.all the games they played on men.to get a free drink. Or the game of finding the need and coming on at him to get a free drink.or dance then.walking off to applause of her mates.

I so have interests and hobbies that bring me.imto.contact with women and being a good partner dancer I get more interest that way but I won't take advantage of that.

I.tjink.approaching women.is such a potential nightmare that a lot of guys won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't approach women in social setting of pubs/clubs. Even.wjen.i.was on my twenties or 30s.

Also I had a female friend who told me.all the games they played on men.to get a free drink. Or the game of finding the need and coming on at him to get a free drink.or dance then.walking off to applause of her mates.

I so have interests and hobbies that bring me.imto.contact with women and being a good partner dancer I get more interest that way but I won't take advantage of that.

I.tjink.approaching women.is such a potential nightmare that a lot of guys won't.

"

I only buy the 1st drink if I ask a girl on a date as it'd be rude to ask them out then not buy the 1st. Never buy the 1st on a random night out, and never buy the 2nd on a date. Thems the rules!

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

No I don't really approach people. I very rarely go out anyway, it's not really my scene, combined with a bit of social anxiety, poor confidence, and not wanting to come off as a creep and you've got the answer as to why I don't.

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can imagine it's really hard for sexes to approach a potential interest.

I think confidence and body language definitely comes it to play. If you both happen to catch a look at the same time, maybe give a genuine friendly smile that's doesn't make you look like Fred West.

If your happen to cross paths in a bar or cafe ,pay them a compliment rather that asking if they are interested in a shag.

Or if your a confident fucker and she hadn't already applied for a restraining order and giving you lots of looks, wait until she's at the bar, walk up behind her, place a hand gently on her waist as you lean over to get a straw, ensure your arm or chest brushes against her. Turn around smile and pray she hasn't asked for Angela and the 2 doorman approaching aren't for you.

Apologies if absolute cheddar but it worked for me

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"I don't approach women in social setting of pubs/clubs. Even.wjen.i.was on my twenties or 30s.

Also I had a female friend who told me.all the games they played on men.to get a free drink. Or the game of finding the need and coming on at him to get a free drink.or dance then.walking off to applause of her mates.

I so have interests and hobbies that bring me.imto.contact with women and being a good partner dancer I get more interest that way but I won't take advantage of that.

I.tjink.approaching women.is such a potential nightmare that a lot of guys won't.

"

That's so mad. Having been spiked I would never accept a drink from someone I didn't know.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"I can imagine it's really hard for sexes to approach a potential interest.

I think confidence and body language definitely comes it to play. If you both happen to catch a look at the same time, maybe give a genuine friendly smile that's doesn't make you look like Fred West.

If your happen to cross paths in a bar or cafe ,pay them a compliment rather that asking if they are interested in a shag.

Or if your a confident fucker and she hadn't already applied for a restraining order and giving you lots of looks, wait until she's at the bar, walk up behind her, place a hand gently on her waist as you lean over to get a straw, ensure your arm or chest brushes against her. Turn around smile and pray she hasn't asked for Angela and the 2 doorman approaching aren't for you.

Apologies if absolute cheddar but it worked for me"

Oh god I hate when a random man puts his hand on my waist.

Talking to me like a human being will always get someone further than unexpected touching.

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By *orace99Man
over a year ago

York


"No I don't really approach people. I very rarely go out anyway, it's not really my scene, combined with a bit of social anxiety, poor confidence, and not wanting to come off as a creep and you've got the answer as to why I don't.

LvM"

This all over..... If it hadn't been for CB radio back in the day and the internet I would most likely be a virgin still.

This is despite having a night with a girl with a reputation for obliging and me falling asleep whilst she was playing games on the C64 *facepalm*

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What do you mean by approach ?

If the only way of approaching a woman was to shout obscenities or use degrading language then I guess it's bound to lessen the number of 'approaches' .... men who have always been able to speak to women as if they are human - albeit they are still hoping to find 'mutual attraction' wont be having any problems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally agree with you

Everything must be respectful and signs read properly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had to approach women in social settings, they have always approached me , so there are some confident ladies out there. Personally I think more so than men these days with the ladette culture. Young men now are scared to approach women partly because they simply don't have the communication skills face to face, and they are afraid of rejection. Women, especially in social groups, can be brutal.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down


"I'm definitely approached much less than I used to be. When I was in my early twenties I would probably be approached every couple of days on the street, on public transport in a bar etc. Nowadays I'm only approached by people wanting to help me across the road "

I know that many men nowadays are much more wary about approaching women because of the perceptibly increased level of fear and overt wariness that many women exhibit when approached in the street; this fear is a exacerbated by media reports of women being assaulted, and worse.

Although I have no problem approaching women with dogs, because of my genuine interest in canines, if I find myself walking along a street behind a woman who is alone, I frequently cross to the other side of the street in order not to make them feel uneasy.

Once I approached a lady with a dog in a public park, to enquire about her Springer Spaniel; she starting screaming and calling for public assistance. She was clearly unhinged, but it significantly increased my reticence to approach women in public for many months.

On another occasion, several years ago another lady phoned the police, who then intetviewed me.

One has to be very cautious!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can’t say I’ve ever really approached a woman.

Poor self confidence and self image has prevented me from gaining the ability to do so."

You're a good looking bloke. No harm in trying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm definitely approached much less than I used to be. When I was in my early twenties I would probably be approached every couple of days on the street, on public transport in a bar etc. Nowadays I'm only approached by people wanting to help me across the road

I know that many men nowadays are much more wary about approaching women because of the perceptibly increased level of fear and overt wariness that many women exhibit when approached in the street; this fear is a exacerbated by media reports of women being assaulted, and worse.

Although I have no problem approaching women with dogs, because of my genuine interest in canines, if I find myself walking along a street behind a woman who is alone, I frequently cross to the other side of the street in order not to make them feel uneasy.

Once I approached a lady with a dog in a public park, to enquire about her Springer Spaniel; she starting screaming and calling for public assistance. She was clearly unhinged, but it significantly increased my reticence to approach women in public for many months.

On another occasion, several years ago another lady phoned the police, who then intetviewed me.

One has to be very cautious! "

Oohhh no, don’t approach me in the street but at a bar or club is fine.

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By *heonix_flamesWoman
over a year ago

Midlands

I’ve never been approached my men, even when I was young and slim. But I rarely went on those kind of nights out before Covid and haven’t since it started. Honestly though if I’m properly out I’m just focused on having fun with my friends, not looking to go home with anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never been approached my men, even when I was young and slim. But I rarely went on those kind of nights out before Covid and haven’t since it started. Honestly though if I’m properly out I’m just focused on having fun with my friends, not looking to go home with anyone. "

I agree but it’s nice to have a flirt isn’t it? I think so. But then, am I leading them on when I don’t follow it through? It’s a minefield!

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs


"The kids these days don't know how to chat up a woman without using aubergine emojis.

Us slightly older gents mastered the art years ago. "

Pretty much this .....I do miss the old days of going out on the pull

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know about womens side of experience but as a guy I would be scared to approach one in public these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know about womens side of experience but as a guy I would be scared to approach one in public these days "

That’s sad, but understandable

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I've been approached by men in public a few times.

The last time it happened I was at a cash machine.

We had a few dates before Covid hit, then lost touch as we both had operations.

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