FabSwingers.com forum: Christmas irritatants

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is there anything about the most wonderful time of the year that gets on your nellys??

Does Christmas creep you are out?

Are you full up of Festivities!

What makes you want to be a fun Sponge and pop a balloon about Christmas!

Mine. Elf on a Shelf, I want to drop kick the grinning little shit over back of beyond

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And yes I spelt irritant wrong

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

The fact it’s followed by New Year.

And the Wizard and Slade Christmas songs are starting to get on my tits now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unwanted Christmas presents on Ebay, ungrateful bastards, grips my shit that does!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christmas songs..... hate em, there's not a decent one made!

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By *r9inchMan
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent/south cheshire

Definitely elf on the shelf! The little twat needs binning lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I absolutely can't be bothered with Xmas songs, especially when they're on repeat! x

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Having to get box after box of stuff out of the loft only to put it all back up again in a few weeks.

Spending the equivalent of a modest Lottery win on batteries for the seven billion illuminated ornaments my wife has somehow collected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Controversial viewpoint as I know many people don’t like Christmas for very valid personal reasons.

But people that guilt people for liking Christmas and wanting to celebrate it and enjoy it, just because it isn’t for them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh I hear you about the Xmas songs!!

Town being super busy and Santa clogging up my street with his bloody sleigh while he has a sneaky pint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tinsel and glitter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Elf on the shelf/"security cameras".

We should be teaching our kids privacy. Not that people are watching them whilst they're asleep. Or running around their house whilst they sleep.

Extravagant advent calendars.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't mind xmas or people full of xmas cheer but can't be fucked with xmas songs playing eveywhere you go in December.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xmas songs. They’re just played too much, and it’s the same ones everywhere.

Also, is it just my age showing, but has Xmas number 1 stopped being a big deal these days? Last one I can remember is when rage against the machine was number 1.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Definitely elf on the shelf! The little twat needs binning lol x"

Yup! It is a willy waving exercise, seems people do the elf shit for Facebook sake rather than entertainment for the kids

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Elf on the shelf/"security cameras".

We should be teaching our kids privacy. Not that people are watching them whilst they're asleep. Or running around their house whilst they sleep.

Extravagant advent calendars."

Yeah I don't like the security cam thing either, or the 'ooh Santa's watching' as a way of behaviour management

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Definitely Christmas songs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't mind xmas or people full of xmas cheer but can't be fucked with xmas songs playing eveywhere you go in December. "

My local shopping centre start playing them in November! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People posting pics of mountains of presents they got for their kids.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

The ‘people have forgotten the meaning of Christmas’ brigade. Christmas means different things for different people. Let people enjoy it/not enjoy it however they see fit. There’s no right way or wrong way to spend December 25th

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unwanted Christmas presents on Ebay, ungrateful bastards, grips my shit that does! "

I give +90% of my presents to the charity shop. People buy me stuff I don't like or want so I gift it so charity can benefit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unwanted Christmas presents on Ebay, ungrateful bastards, grips my shit that does! "

Yep! Agree with this, I buy my kids experiences now, concert tickets or days out.

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Gift vouchers. Wtf

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Tinsel... (shudder) only had it last year as the kids were insistent...this year its banned

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Surprise visitors!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Surprise visitors!!"

Oh god yeah!

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By *dy-ukTV/TS
over a year ago

Alcester

TV adverts!

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"The fact it’s followed by New Year.

And the Wizard and Slade Christmas songs are starting to get on my tits now.

Yes! New year is shite.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mince pies

Socks

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Tinsel , coloured lights, blow up decorations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The blanket bombardment of advertising to try and part you with your hard earned cash on shit you don’t really need.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"The blanket bombardment of advertising to try and part you with your hard earned cash on shit you don’t really need. "

Ooh what you buying me

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Tinsel , coloured lights, blow up decorations"
unless its a blow up decoration with vibrating lifelike vagina and 20 programmable phrases… just saying!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The blanket bombardment of advertising to try and part you with your hard earned cash on shit you don’t really need.

Ooh what you buying me

A jar of pickled eggs, and a bag of walnuts.

Thank me after Christmas.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"The blanket bombardment of advertising to try and part you with your hard earned cash on shit you don’t really need.

Ooh what you buying me

A jar of pickled eggs, and a bag of walnuts.

Wank me after Christmas.

Ok xx

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"Tinsel , coloured lights, blow up decorations unless its a blow up decoration with vibrating lifelike vagina and 20 programmable phrases… just saying!!

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

I'm always glad to see Christmas because, it comes four days after the shortest day, the worst is over, so now with the nights now starting to draw out, it's happy summer days are on their way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The blanket bombardment of advertising to try and part you with your hard earned cash on shit you don’t really need.

Ooh what you buying me

A jar of pickled eggs, and a bag of walnuts.

Wank me after Christmas.

Ok xx"

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"I'm always glad to see Christmas because, it comes four days after the shortest day, the worst is over, so now with the nights now starting to draw out, it's happy summer days are on their way"

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By *nergeticlemurMan
over a year ago

wiltshire

The fact antipasto is suddenly sold as a christmas item. Now I like a bit of cured meat as much as the next guy but its definately not festive

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"The fact antipasto is suddenly sold as a christmas item. Now I like a bit of cured meat as much as the next guy but its definately not festive

Great with the cheese board...which is festive.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I'm always glad to see Christmas because, it comes four days after the shortest day, the worst is over, so now with the nights now starting to draw out, it's happy summer days are on their way"

I'm the opposite. I love the summer solstice because it means the days are getting shorter and winter and Christmas are coming.

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By *nergeticlemurMan
over a year ago

wiltshire

"The fact antipasto is suddenly sold as a christmas item. Now I like a bit of cured meat as much as the next guy but its definately not festive

Great with the cheese board...which is festive. "

touche! I usually just have the old cheese and cracker board at christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The fact antipasto is suddenly sold as a christmas item. Now I like a bit of cured meat as much as the next guy but its definately not festive

Great with the cheese board...which is festive. "

Cheese board is an anytime thing!

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

I like Christmas....in December, as it should be.

But spare a thought for the businesses that have had rammed Christmas down the throats of their customers, AND their poor staff for ages.

I know of one Hotel chain I worked for, where all the Christmas decorations, tree and related music playing over the music system, all started in the 1st week of October!

I heard that this year, it was all started in Wk1 of September!!!!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Everything

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"The fact antipasto is suddenly sold as a christmas item. Now I like a bit of cured meat as much as the next guy but its definately not festive

Great with the cheese board...which is festive.

Cheese board is an anytime thing!

No argument here.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"The fact antipasto is suddenly sold as a christmas item. Now I like a bit of cured meat as much as the next guy but its definately not festive

Great with the cheese board...which is festive.

touche! I usually just have the old cheese and cracker board at christmas

Get some salami on there mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact that some people get themselves into debt to give people Christmas presents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Christmas songs..... hate em, there's not a decent one made! "

There seems to be a lot of hate towards Christmas tunes on here, but that's a ballsy statement!!! Who can't like Fairytale Of New York???? Or the Phil Spector numbers - Christmas Baby Please Come Home etc. It's the ones that aren't actually Christmas songs that get me - the Pretenders 10,000 miles or FGTH the power of love. What the hell has that got to do with Christmas???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fairytale of New York is my most hated Christmas song.

Other Christmas dislikes are:

Xmas - don't be lazy, it's Christmas

People asking what I would like for a present. I don't want something just because it's Christmas and expected.

People having a melt down if something is out of stock. It's likely to be a ploy to get you to up your spending and buy something else more expensive.

Heaving tables and plates of food, where a lot gets thrown away. Buy less and give money to a foodbank or homeless shelter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xmas music playing everywhere you go shopping centres supermarkets

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By *akie32Man
over a year ago

winchester

I hate the whole thing about christmas, its become so comercial.

Im not religious, so i dont follow it and in my opinion nore should others who arent religious, do you selibrate Tet for instance????

Its a marketing mans wet dream and has lost its meaning, New year, happy to celibrate that tho.

Its like when i lived in america, i was invited to a friends house for thanksgiving, when i asked them what thanksgiving ment, not one of them had any idea!!! Turned out i knew more about thier history than they did, its just an excuse to have a party, and thats fine but dont pretend its anything more than that, find it very hipocritical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christmas shopping.. like the walking dead, crowds of moaning people everywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Elf on a shelfs a massive twat.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"The ‘people have forgotten the meaning of Christmas’ brigade. Christmas means different things for different people. Let people enjoy it/not enjoy it however they see fit. There’s no right way or wrong way to spend December 25th

Agreed.

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By *edGrayCouple
over a year ago

Swindon

[Removed by poster at 02/12/21 06:24:40]

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By *akie32Man
over a year ago

winchester

Agreed.

couldnt dissagre more, its a religious holiday, not an excuse for spending money, that was never the point of christmas

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Agreed.

couldnt dissagre more, its a religious holiday, not an excuse for spending money, that was never the point of christmas"

That's absolutely fine, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it, much like I'm entitled to find it a cliched, wearily dragged out sentiment.

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By *akie32Man
over a year ago

winchester

Agreed.

couldnt dissagre more, its a religious holiday, not an excuse for spending money, that was never the point of christmas

That's absolutely fine, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it, much like I'm entitled to find it a cliched, wearily dragged out sentiment.

fair enough, like i said before im not religious so dont celibrate it, same way i dont celibrte any other religious festivale,and why would i

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People trying to make people feel bad for enjoying Christmas. Those that repeat ‘it’s too commercialised etc’ just fuck off out of town until we take the tree down then…and then you can come back Aunty Karen.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

" Bah Humbug "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there anything about the most wonderful time of the year that gets on your nellys??

All of it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I mean, I do like Christmas, it means spending time with my family and the excuse to shut down and reset for a while.

I don't like it in November and I really do not like Elf on a Shelf, that grinning inanimate face is

just wrong! And grown adults doing messed up shit in the name of the elf is just creepy....I'm tempted but I doubt I could get away with by setting fire to someone and sitting the elf on the ashes - "Aww silly Twinkles, that naughty serial killing elf"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fu@#ing Glitter. It's the Devils spunk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The fact antipasto is suddenly sold as a christmas item. Now I like a bit of cured meat as much as the next guy but its definately not festive

Great with the cheese board...which is festive. "

You only ever need pickle on a cheese board, and grapes

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Is there anything about the most wonderful time of the year that gets on your nellys??

Does Christmas creep you are out?

Are you full up of Festivities!

What makes you want to be a fun Sponge and pop a balloon about Christmas!

Mine. Elf on a Shelf, I want to drop kick the grinning little shit over back of beyond

Tell the kids that the elf is there to prank adults and it's down to them to make you laugh. I may of may not have done this

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

But my annoyance is that currently there are either those who are in full xmas mode or total Grinch mode. Why can't we just gradually ramp up the festivities?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mince pie Jamie

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

"I'm always glad to see Christmas because, it comes four days after the shortest day, the worst is over, so now with the nights now starting to draw out, it's happy summer days are on their way

I'm the opposite. I love the summer solstice because it means the days are getting shorter and winter and Christmas are coming. "

Let's have a rounding chorus then of:

Hark the Herald Angels sing,

Let's all get in debt again.

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

They move everything round in the supermarket to make room for Christmas stuff. I can’t find anything !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They move everything round in the supermarket to make room for Christmas stuff. I can’t find anything ! "

This for sure! It's seriously irritating

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Love Christmas playlists, but can't stand Michael Bublé so it always kind of a minefield. I like that I can hide them from the playlist on Spotify, but his song are played everywhere

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Love Christmas playlists, but can't stand Michael Bublé so it always kind of a minefield. I like that I can hide them from the playlist on Spotify, but his song are played everywhere

Good old Mickey Bubbles...they love to Wheel him out, you see he'll be on the telly next

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

Mines a bit different. Happened a few times now. But skin on roasted potatoes should not be allowed. It’s wrong and needs stopping.

Roasties HAVE to be peeled

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

All of it.

Can't we just move straight to Jan 2 please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The festive season is starting much too early that gets on my Nellie's, whilst I like the twinkling lights and glorious decorations I don't need to see it or hear them damn songs so early, they get in my head and I can't stop singing them aaargh! Bah humbug I need to dive under my duvet and hibernate

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I hate Xmas full bloody stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mines a bit different. Happened a few times now. But skin on roasted potatoes should not be allowed. It’s wrong and needs stopping.

Roasties HAVE to be peeled "

Who on earth leaves the skins on?!?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mines a bit different. Happened a few times now. But skin on roasted potatoes should not be allowed. It’s wrong and needs stopping.

Roasties HAVE to be peeled

Who on earth leaves the skins on?!?!?

I like them like this, the average roast spud has 4 sides and if one has lovely crispy peel on it, then I wouldn’t complain. Wouldn’t demand it either. But if I make chips, I don’t peel …

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Controversial viewpoint as I know many people don’t like Christmas for very valid personal reasons.

But people that guilt people for liking Christmas and wanting to celebrate it and enjoy it, just because it isn’t for them. "

God yes, theres so much judgement. Why do so many people feel the need to police what others are doing? Live and let live.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mines a bit different. Happened a few times now. But skin on roasted potatoes should not be allowed. It’s wrong and needs stopping.

Roasties HAVE to be peeled

Who on earth leaves the skins on?!?!?

I like them like this, the average roast spud has 4 sides and if one has lovely crispy peel on it, then I wouldn’t complain. Wouldn’t demand it either. But if I make chips, I don’t peel …"

Yeah chips. But roasties... filth....

I will have to try it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like tinsel and I don't care what anyone else says.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh well, for some reason, I'm uncharacteristically feeling Christmassy this year (yes, I just made that word up). Not sure why, but I'm sure it'll be knocked right out of me in next couple weeks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The festive season is starting much too early that gets on my Nellie's, whilst I like the twinkling lights and glorious decorations I don't need to see it or hear them damn songs so early, they get in my head and I can't stop singing them aaargh! Bah humbug I need to dive under my duvet and hibernate

Very true! I rocked up at work and literally every room has a tree and the Collage delivered a beautiful tree! It's huge! To go in our lobby. We don't need all the trees

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Elf on a shelf can fuck off

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Elf on a shelf can fuck off"

And when it's fucked off it can fuck off again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When people turn into miserable bastards just because it's Christmas. And when they shit all over your happiness just because they don't like it. I think they are bad bananas.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"When people turn into miserable bastards just because it's Christmas. And when they shit all over your happiness just because they don't like it. I think they are bad bananas."

Yes, mushy soggy ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When people turn into miserable bastards just because it's Christmas. And when they shit all over your happiness just because they don't like it. I think they are bad bananas.

Yes, mushy soggy ones. "

Shall I kill them and then turn them into delicious festive banana bread?

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"When people turn into miserable bastards just because it's Christmas. And when they shit all over your happiness just because they don't like it. I think they are bad bananas.

Yes, mushy soggy ones.

Shall I kill them and then turn them into delicious festive banana bread?"

Do it. We'll feast on their misery.

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By *ob08Man
over a year ago

Macclesfield

People who finished their Christmas shopping in October, we literally need a law to make it legal to shoot these people.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Would be better if the razzamataz of Christmas was confined to the week before then go full beanz at it. Hearing the bloody songs weeks before hand is a turn off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those godawful paper concertina christmas decorations that pull out to form Santas tummy or a snowman, etc.... grrrr.......

Oh and tinsel! Literally hate the stuff!

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Things that are not Christmas all year but suddenly are in November/December

Grimicky stuff sold as ‘the latest thing everyone needs’

Sherry …. I bloody hate Sherry … it’s only decent for trifle

I will make my apologies now Miss D for my twat on the shelf who may appear in my Christmas pics (just for the sheer hell of me being naughty too!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That alot of Xmas marketing/TV starts in November; 1/6th of the year targeting you to part with your cash, exploiting what should be a far simpler traditional celebration .

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Normal food gets screwed over.

I dont want spiced this and that. The chiller section in aldi has been taken over with xmas themed cheese /pork/salmon festive crap.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"Is there anything about the most wonderful time of the year that gets on your nellys??

Yes. Christmas.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Just people moaning about Christmas

we all know it’s coming but then moan because the shops are busy and it’s too expensive etc.

It’s all in the prep and the ability to not lose sight of the fact that it’s not all about material things (in my opinion).

Disclaimer: I know we all have personal stories about Christmas and I’m not saying everyone is going to enjoy it. I’m talking generally.

Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mariah Carey.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Sherry …. I bloody hate Sherry … it’s only decent for trifle

Likewise... but you should try Maryland Desert ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of it.

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By *rcstarkMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Its secret Santa for me! No I don’t wanna buy colleagues gifts or receive some cheap stuff I’ll never use off them.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

People moaning about Christmas gets on my tits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its secret Santa for me! No I don’t wanna buy colleagues gifts or receive some cheap stuff I’ll never use off them."

I opted out of mine. They're all dicks, not worth a fiver.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just people moaning about Christmas

we all know it’s coming but then moan because the shops are busy and it’s too expensive etc.

It’s all in the prep and the ability to not lose sight of the fact that it’s not all about material things (in my opinion).

Disclaimer: I know we all have personal stories about Christmas and I’m not saying everyone is going to enjoy it. I’m talking generally.

Christmas

Oooooh Babs I forgot that one!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there anything about the most wonderful time of the year that gets on your nellys??

Does Christmas creep you are out?

Are you full up of Festivities!

What makes you want to be a fun Sponge and pop a balloon about Christmas!

Mine. Elf on a Shelf, I want to drop kick the grinning little shit over back of beyond

You're ace

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

Look on the bright side it will soon be easter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When people turn into miserable bastards just because it's Christmas. And when they shit all over your happiness just because they don't like it. I think they are bad bananas.

Yes, mushy soggy ones.

Shall I kill them and then turn them into delicious festive banana bread?

Do it. We'll feast on their misery. "

Or, just do a Caribbean twist and make banana fritters. Soggy and mushy ones are perfect for this I'm told by my friends.

Oh fuck, did I just look at something positively? I better go sit in a dark cupboard and think about death for a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact that you can’t listen to the radio or go shopping without all the blooming Christmas songs on!

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Only when other Christmas shoppers stop dead in front of you without a thought... but hey, the internet can be used for overspending and avoiding the high street/retail chaos, so all good!!??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its secret Santa for me! No I don’t wanna buy colleagues gifts or receive some cheap stuff I’ll never use off them.

I opted out of mine. They're all dicks, not worth a fiver.

You’ve missed a trick I opted in and bought my dickhead colleagues a book on how not to be an arsehole and an actual dick for a head

Worth every Penny to see their faces

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Christmas music from October

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Christmas songs..... hate em, there's not a decent one made!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And yes I spelt irritant wrong

'Spelled'

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

People who insist on calling it "the holidays" instead of Christmas. Do you think this is America? This is Sunderland, not Seattle.

People who insist on telling you its commercialisation of a Christian festival

The other people who insist on telling you its a load of stolen ideas from pre Christian religions

The people who post pictures of themselves with 900 presents for their kids

The people who complain about the people who post pictures of their 900 presents

And probably a load of other things. I'm not the grinch though, I love Christmas.

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

"Things that are not Christmas all year but suddenly are in November/December

Grimicky stuff sold as ‘the latest thing everyone needs’

Sherry …. I bloody hate Sherry … it’s only decent for trifle

I will make my apologies now Miss D for my twat on the shelf who may appear in my Christmas pics (just for the sheer hell of me being naughty too!)

No one under the age of 83 actually wants to drink sherry

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Who can't like Fairytale Of New York????"

The problem I have with Christmas songs is that:

- I have heard the classics a few too many times.

- There are no new good ones

- By October 31st I've already had enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Things that are not Christmas all year but suddenly are in November/December

Grimicky stuff sold as ‘the latest thing everyone needs’

Sherry …. I bloody hate Sherry … it’s only decent for trifle

I will make my apologies now Miss D for my twat on the shelf who may appear in my Christmas pics (just for the sheer hell of me being naughty too!)

No one under the age of 83 actually wants to drink sherry"

Try El Candado. It’s a sweet sherry from Spain and it’s amazing

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

If any of close families are sick over Christmas. Sis in law and neice were very unwell last year and spent the day in bed. Hope all fine this year for them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And yes I spelt irritant wrong

'Spelled'

Both spelled and spelt are acceptable

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there anything about the most wonderful time of the year that gets on your nellys??

Does Christmas creep you are out?

Are you full up of Festivities!

What makes you want to be a fun Sponge and pop a balloon about Christmas!

Mine. Elf on a Shelf, I want to drop kick the grinning little shit over back of beyond

You're ace "

I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine. Elf on a Shelf, I want to drop kick the grinning little shit over back of beyond

I have elf on my cock.

Doesn’t rhyme but much more interesting than putting the little fucker on a shelf

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

That it starts so bloody early.

By the time Christmas day comes I am thoroughly done with it and feel I've been audibly tortured with the same music over and over enough for a lifetime. Then 10 months pass and Wham! it all starts again!

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Mine. Elf on a Shelf, I want to drop kick the grinning little shit over back of beyond

I have elf on my cock.

Doesn’t rhyme but much more interesting than putting the little fucker on a shelf

A lodger or your todger?

A gnome on your bone?

A prick on your dick?

A fool on your tool?

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

The trouble with xmas is its actually just a retail event.

Also almost everyone is off work at the same time.

So transport and places are fully of twats in bobble hats.

Then after the 25th, its full of people farting their way round shops buying more stuff.

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

As a kid the best thing about Christmas (other than presents) was that it was the one meal of the that my mum would cook Brussel Sprouts

Now that I can cook my own Sprouts it just a massive commercialised pain in the ass that lasts far to long to be pleasant!

As for that fucking Elf..... I say we boil him in eggnog and hang him by the misseltoes!

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Oh and I forgot to mention the bloody lights and garden decorations! My neighbor's house is completly covered in pink glittery strings of light. It looks like Tinkerbell the fairy was stuck on the roof with a bad case of the shits!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've acquired a new Xmas irritant, secret Santa... only it's so secret when everyone wants to know who got them or revealing who they got.

Daft bloody carry on, not doing it next year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its secret Santa for me! No I don’t wanna buy colleagues gifts or receive some cheap stuff I’ll never use off them.

I opted out of mine. They're all dicks, not worth a fiver.

You’ve missed a trick I opted in and bought my dickhead colleagues a book on how not to be an arsehole and an actual dick for a head

Worth every Penny to see their faces

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine. Elf on a Shelf, I want to drop kick the grinning little shit over back of beyond

I have elf on my cock.

Doesn’t rhyme but much more interesting than putting the little fucker on a shelf

A lodger or your todger?

A gnome on your bone?

A prick on your dick?

A fool on your tool?

Ha ha. You’ve thought about it too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When did Father Christmas become Santa? That annoys me

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Jim broadbent intoning terrible rhyming advertising drivel

And dawn french showing the cute piggie the finger food at m and s without mentioning cocktail sausages and pigs in blankets

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Just do your best for the kids with fuck all you miserable gits. X

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Putting a fucking Christmas tree up???

Can't be arsed... All that pissing around with the lights.

It can do one. I have not put one up for a few years!

Do I qualify as a Grinch?

However, I do Christmas cards. I like that!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Putting a fucking Christmas tree up???

Can't be arsed... All that pissing around with the lights.

It can do one. I have not put one up for a few years!

Do I qualify as a Grinch?

However, I do Christmas cards. I like that!!!!

I like the tree, love the smell of a real tree. And Christmas cards, only ever send them to the children at work though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That reminds me;

Colour co ordinated trees!!! No no no, the tree should look gaudy with all colours, like Christmas has spaffed up all over it

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"When did Father Christmas become Santa? That annoys me "

Before he became Father Christmas.

He was originally Saint Nicholas. The Dutch of that is Sinterklaas and that is where Santa Claus came from.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"When did Father Christmas become Santa? That annoys me

Before he became Father Christmas.

He was originally Saint Nicholas. The Dutch of that is Sinterklaas and that is where Santa Claus came from. "

You gotta have a sanity clause

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Wasn't he originally Turkish (St Nicholas), I vaguely remember from somewhere?

I think we have Coca Cola to thank for that.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trying to unravel the tree lights and getting them on the tree. Also never seeming to have the right size batteries.

Oh and when the children were little, needing an entire tool box just about to remove the toy from all packaging.

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Coca cola for the red outfit image that is....

I think I need an early night!

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Putting a fucking Christmas tree up???

Can't be arsed... All that pissing around with the lights.

It can do one. I have not put one up for a few years!

Do I qualify as a Grinch?

However, I do Christmas cards. I like that!!!!

I like the tree, love the smell of a real tree. And Christmas cards, only ever send them to the children at work though

You have children "at work" what are you some kind of Dickensian Villan? Are they sweeping chimneys for you, or running a little human treadmill? Don't send them frickin Christmas Cards, set the little buggers free and let them go!

I know some people call me Scroge or the Grinch because Christmas annoys me...... But even I draw the limit at child labour you monster

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