FabSwingers.com forum: Manchester social

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes there is a thread about this. This is about me

I've been on the list for 6 months. I'm still fighting with my nerves about it. There are people I'd like to meet. Majority of the men in the furom don't even acknowledge my existence. I won't be glamed up,I won't be wearing much makeup and I will appear unsociable (because of arthritis) I will be seated and not dancing. I don't have much to talk about. But I am generous with smiles,hugs and kisses. I am struggling with,will it be worth the coach day trip from Birmingham. Will anyone notice that I'm there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ultimately it depends how much effort you are putting into it.

People won't always be dancing, and if you do smile it might strike up conversation.

Id presume a lot of people will chat about the forums, fab and indeed sex (which you state you dont talk about)..

If you wanna have a good time, invest effort. Its not down to other folk to make you feel good sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you chatted to people who are going? Maybe arrange to meet up with them there.

Do you like people watching? That can be fun.

I've been to a few MLS and the people were friendly. A lot will know each other already so they will want to chat to friends.

If you can get there definitely go. There's the Christmas markets in Manchester too if you fancy that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"ultimately it depends how much effort you are putting into it.

People won't always be dancing, and if you do smile it might strike up conversation.

Id presume a lot of people will chat about the forums, fab and indeed sex (which you state you dont talk about)..

If you wanna have a good time, invest effort. Its not down to other folk to make you feel good sadly. "

I don't mind been cheeky in person .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you chatted to people who are going? Maybe arrange to meet up with them there.

Do you like people watching? That can be fun.

I've been to a few MLS and the people were friendly. A lot will know each other already so they will want to chat to friends.

If you can get there definitely go. There's the Christmas markets in Manchester too if you fancy that.

I do like people watching. I'd forgotten about the market.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s all this about then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes there is a thread about this. This is about me

Throw yourself in at the deep end….you’ll only end up thinking “what if” if you didn’t actually give it a chance.

Even if it ends up being shit it will give you scope of how you want to approach it next time or if at all!!

Whilst peoples replies / opinions are good to gauge things they are mostly based on their own experiences - create your own and go!!

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I think it's about how you approach it. Go with an open mind and a positive attitude, you'll probably enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes there is a thread about this. This is about me

Throw yourself in at the deep end….you’ll only end up thinking “what if” if you didn’t actually give it a chance.

Even if it ends up being shit it will give you scope of how you want to approach it next time or if at all!!

Whilst peoples replies / opinions are good to gauge things they are mostly based on their own experiences - create your own and go!!

That's true

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Hello OP, people will notice you're there but I agree with a poster above - it's also about what you put in.

I'll definitely come say hello if I see you and can promise you a sex free chat (there's only one person attending I'd discuss that stuff with!).

You might not think you have much to talk about but you'll probably find that a good conversation doesn't feel like hard work. Don't worry about not wearing much makeup, I'm wearing mascara and possibly red lipstick. That's all.

You don't have to *be* something. Anything. Just be you. Glammed up or not. Nerves are normal, I'm still feeling them now. Try and think of it as a room full of people who all might be a bit nervous and a good chance to chat to people. Nothing more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will need to make some effort. Maybe before the social you could contact the people you want to meet, arrange to meet them there. Smile, say hello, chat even if it's just about the weather. Make some effort otherwise it's probably not worth the journey IMO.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Why don't you message the people you are looking forward to meeting saying exactly that? You've then started the conversation which you can then pick up at the actual event. I have anxiety and nerves I find putting pre going out effort helps with my nerves.

Someone once told me if I sat back and waited for people to come to me, they won't as people like things to be a two way street. And that even though it was unintentional I was being stand offish with people so they didn't want to approach me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Approach it like speed dating. Chat to someone for about 3 minutes. If you're both happy chatting, carry on. If it feels a bit awkward, smile and move on to someone else.

3 minutes isn't long enough to feel too anxious. And you can meet a lot of people that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a telegram group for those going. I'd consider joining if I was you if you do not know anyone who is going

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Thats if it goes ahead....I'm on the list too but can see changes coming especially with the reintroduction of face masks in shops and public transport. I can see the potential for large group gatherings to be affected x

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Sit in a corner, people watch and judge the fuck out of everyone!

Alternatively:

Pro tip 1, try and keep off your phone as it will give people a reason not to engage with you.

Pro tip 2, don’t feel you have to be someone you are not.

Pro tip 3, make sure you understand why you are going and what you want to get out of it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sit in a corner, people watch and judge the fuck out of everyone!

Alternatively:

Pro tip 1, try and keep off your phone as it will give people a reason not to engage with you.

Pro tip 2, don’t feel you have to be someone you are not.

Pro tip 3, make sure you understand why you are going and what you want to get out of it."

Wise words

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