FabSwingers.com forum: Guys....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does it put you off a woman if she's part of a couple bit able to play alone?

And if so why?

Does the thought that she's getting some lead you to think it's more likely she wouldn't be interested?

Would you feel like she might not think you're good in bed as someone else clearly knows her and what she likes in bed and feel like you'd have to match up maybe?

Are there any other reasons?

As always I'm curious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it depends on the boundaries in place with that couple. If theres a long list of "do's and don'ts" im just not gonna bother. It feels more like youre just their to satisfy her (or him) and not feel like your own desires are even remotely considered.

I get some have certain boundaries like no cumming insider her and such, but it feels like youre just trying to be a matching candidate and that aint fun even for the sake of getting your dock wet, that is if i even gets wetted at the end of the day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Not really no, if she is able and willing to play alone we wouldn’t care if she is part of a couple.

Sex isn’t our main focus, so we wouldn’t waste time worrying about comparing ourselves to their partner.

Our main considerations would be finding a suitable time where everyone is available to play as well as ensuring everyone (including their partner) is happy with whats being planned.

We don’t want to cause drama when we send them home with additional holes, marks, bruising or less hair then they came with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it put you off a woman if she's part of a couple bit able to play alone?

And if so why?

Does the thought that she's getting some lead you to think it's more likely she wouldn't be interested?

Would you feel like she might not think you're good in bed as someone else clearly knows her and what she likes in bed and feel like you'd have to match up maybe?

Are there any other reasons?

As always I'm curious.

Honest that doesn't bother me as I look as it as we're both trying to scratch a sexual itch, I try not to over think things when it comes to sex. As long as there's a vibe, sexual chemistry and we understand that we're exploring our animalistic urges then it's a go for me whether they are single, a couple or even married xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends and it’s a anorther story

Dose the there parner know

If yes than is it ok to talk with them if yes then no wouldn’t put me off

If the answer is no to any off the top two then yes it would be put off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isn’t limited to guys thinking. It happens maybe more so when the male is part of a couple, women don’t approach as readily.

This does come down to the thinking that men are more likely to want to meet with a woman that is in a relationship in the sense that they are proving that they can meet with another man’s woman so therefore must be better than said man.

With women I think there is more of an unwritten code that is coupled with respect for the other woman

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, no. In many ways it gives some reasurrance this will stay as just *play*.

Plus, given in also on the other side of that dynamic, be slightly hypocritical!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not put off at all. I enjoy the challenge.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I’m at the stage now where I only will meet wife’s or girlfriends 1:1 . So no it’s all good for me OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she's able to play alone I don't think it would bother me as long as she doesn't want to talk to him on the phone during sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it put you off a woman if she's part of a couple bit able to play alone?

And if so why?

Does the thought that she's getting some lead you to think it's more likely she wouldn't be interested?

Would you feel like she might not think you're good in bed as someone else clearly knows her and what she likes in bed and feel like you'd have to match up maybe?

Are there any other reasons?

As always I'm curious.

Put off? I don't know. I admit I'm more likely to contact single women, than married ones playing alone, and I'm not sure why.. I'll have to ponder that one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

As someone said - no problem for me but if theres a ton of do’s and don’t s then it doesn’t feel like a meet it feels like she should order a paid for service where she can dictate what she wants. Meets for me are where we both enjoy exploring each other not waiting for the klaxon to go iff when you stray into forbidden territory

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lue eyed builderMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

I doesn’t put me off, the most important thing is being honest and upfront about the situation then it’s my decision. I find it sexy to be honest ..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My red flag would be getting the feeling that she is not doing it purely for herself (or rather, predominately), I’ve seen a number of profiles saying they would need to send pics back and so on, and that wouldn’t feel right being so obviously partly the other man’s desires playing out, if it’s not a 3, and you’re flying solo, then no one else is taking party by proxy or otherwise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

If there’s chemistry and we can create a dynamic that’s about us , it doesn’t bother me what else she’s doing. But if it feels just about her , or them as a couple then I’d be wary investing too much time and energy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've noticed that my inbox on fab goes quieter at the mere mention of another man. If I've named someone I play with or now the fact I'm part of a couple, it quietens.

I'm just curious as to what the thought process is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me, no. In many ways it gives some reasurrance this will stay as just *play*.

Plus, given in also on the other side of that dynamic, be slightly hypocritical! "

See I would imagine also that the fact they are taken and its just play would appeal more. It would if it were me going for a guy from a couple for that exact reason.

I'd just be borrowing him now and again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me, no. In many ways it gives some reasurrance this will stay as just *play*.

Plus, given in also on the other side of that dynamic, be slightly hypocritical!

See I would imagine also that the fact they are taken and its just play would appeal more. It would if it were me going for a guy from a couple for that exact reason.

I'd just be borrowing him now and again.

"
to be clear: no, wouldnt put me off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've noticed that my inbox on fab goes quieter at the mere mention of another man. If I've named someone I play with or now the fact I'm part of a couple, it quietens.

I'm just curious as to what the thought process is. "

Perhaps some think that it will become subject to other conditions later on, or they are looking for an exclusive playmate. Could be a lot of things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t say I’ve ever thought differently about a person I’m with whether they’re single, coupled up, or not. I’m far to engrossed in being with them at that moment, and having knowledge of an absent 3rd party doesn’t alter my perceptions of the person I’m with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not put off at all. I enjoy the challenge."

Why is it a challenge?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn’t put me off one bit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn’t put me off at all I really enjoy the dynamic. I’m a pleaser and as long as everyone is happy you & your partner/husband then that makes me happy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wouldn't bother me (M), then again that's because I have no interested in having sex with another and any involvement would be for the benefit of F.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

No, it doesn’t put me off, though it can make it more difficult to arrange meets depending on whether their partner knows or not, but also if it’s all agreed with their partner, then there are often still constraints with how often the person is allowed to play with others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"I've noticed that my inbox on fab goes quieter at the mere mention of another man. If I've named someone I play with or now the fact I'm part of a couple, it quietens.

I'm just curious as to what the thought process is. "

I can agree with that....tumble in mine since I updated that I'm now part of a couple

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

No, not at all, so long as her partner is aware of her meeting and that could be verified through a chat or the profile's verifications.

I wouldn't go so far as to say it would be a turn on but I think it would be a slightly different dynamic to meeting a purely single woman, in an interesting way rather than good or bad.

LvM

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I can't see us being too worried. The main issue for us related to somebody being in a relationship would be if they are reliable. If a relationship stops somebody from keeping to a prearranged plan, that would really put us off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I've been involved in this lifestyle long enough for it to be a "normal" thing for me as it still feels as if I shouldn't be involved with a woman who is already in a relationship. It might change once I meet a couple for the first time but that's just how I feel at present

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

I don’t see a problem with it if she is in a couple or not.

I have played with both and never had a problem

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think I've been involved in this lifestyle long enough for it to be a "normal" thing for me as it still feels as if I shouldn't be involved with a woman who is already in a relationship. It might change once I meet a couple for the first time but that's just how I feel at present

That's an interesting thought.

I wonder if the traditional sense of unavailable just means they bypass without thinking twice about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's an interesting thought.

I wonder if the traditional sense of unavailable just means they bypass without thinking twice about it. "

I think it depends, I assume most couples on here tend to look for single females or other couples so if a single female's profile states they are part of a couple then I always think it's an extension of that search if that makes sense?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"My red flag would be getting the feeling that she is not doing it purely for herself (or rather, predominately), I’ve seen a number of profiles saying they would need to send pics back and so on, and that wouldn’t feel right being so obviously partly the other man’s desires playing out, if it’s not a 3, and you’re flying solo, then no one else is taking party by proxy or otherwise. "

Isn’t this always the case though? If you’re meeting another’s partner, then you’re feeding their dynamic, not building a connection in exclusion.

I always make the basic assumption that their relationship is the priority and I’m an addition to that. Yes the connection between myself and the person I’m meeting is important but anything that we share will always be seen or heard by the partner or at least agreed within boundaries.

Thinking that you’re not party to the other partners desires is ignorant of how the hot wife dynamic works

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Another observation from the forums is it seems lots of people are looking or hoping for relationships, so when you mention a partner it can make you seem unavailable full stop.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I've noticed that my inbox on fab goes quieter at the mere mention of another man. If I've named someone I play with or now the fact I'm part of a couple, it quietens.

I'm just curious as to what the thought process is.

I can agree with that....tumble in mine since I updated that I'm now part of a couple "

I think that new couples are always subject to this.

I know that I wouldn’t get involved with a couple in the first flush of a relationship, mainly out of respect but also because I know how hard it is to build and develop a dynamic that fits.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I much prefer seeing a wonan who's part of a couple (once he knows).

Guarantees it will remain casual and there's no expectations on her part that I'll provide her with anything more than that.

Makes for a much more relaxing and enjoyable dynamic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I don’t have an issue with it, I’ve done it many times in the past but I think that it requires an understanding of how the dynamic works.

I’ve found that most single guys think that they’re competing with the lady’s partner or that the guy can’t satisfy her, hence her wanting another. Either that or they feel that they’re being watched over and dislike that they feel that they can’t say whatever they want.

In the past, I generally seek to understand boundaries, then go from there. I know that I’m not a stunt cock but I’m also just a piece of their primary dynamic, working out how I fit in that is important for me and them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread