FabSwingers.com forum: Multiple dates

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not sure this fits too well for this site and I'm ready to have the piss ripped out of me for asking.

So after a recent run of swiping right on a dating site I've got quite a few women messaging me and we've even swapped numbers and with a couple of them arranged dates.

Now I'm not one for telling lies, and I'm not a player (haven't been for over 20 years), but obviously I don't know how any date will go and if the dates will even go ahead. So my quandary is should I just try to delay one or two of them (although I don't like lying) and see how things go with one? Or just try and keep quiet and go on as many dates as possible, keeping my phone on mute the entire time I'm out with any of them?

Or any other suggestion.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Go on them all. See who you click with best. They're probably doing exactly the same, don't be exclusive until you are exclusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go on them all. There is a good likelihood that only one or two will feel "right", like a dating potential, chemistry, that undeniable one is also quite rare I found. I am guessing that matters too, along more relationship style tick boxes.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

"Go on them all. See who you click with best. They're probably doing exactly the same, don't be exclusive until you are exclusive. "

Basically. If you have the freedom of time, responsibility and finances to go on all of them then I would.

Don’t worry about your phone. DND mode and give your date all the attention.

Have fun and live a little

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

My sister did online dating and arranged a full on week/weekend of dates a few years back. She ended up marrying one of them though so be warned

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I go through fits and spurts with dates. I'll have none for ages and then I'll have 3 in a week!

I'm usually honest if the topic comes up, it doesn't need mentioning if it doesn't. It's a dating app, dates is what it's for! It will also show your potential popularity. If you've chosen to meet THEM (and then repeat dates afterwards) then that should speak for itself. For people to think they are the only one would be foolish in this day and age and they're potentially going to be high maintenance going forwards.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

A date is a date - it is just a social. Line them up and have fun. If something clicks on one of them then you can make a decision about settling down/going exclusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet them all for a date (separate dates!). Meeting in person means you can assess chemistry and decide whether to meet again.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If I was dating I'd meet a few different men *if* they agreed or asked me

, I can't see any harm in sharing drinks or dinner with various people to who you owe no loyalty. If I started seeing someone regularly I'd have the "exclusivity" conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely go on them all.

This is the best bit of dating.. going out, meeting new people & hoping for the elusive click/chemistry.

Have fun!

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

If you are "Single" you can go on many dates as you like! Well you ain't exactly committed to one person yet.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

Yep, totally fine to arrange dates with more than one and work out who you want to see again

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Be honest.

If the subject comes up, it's fine to be going on first dates with several people.

But if it comes to second dates, maybe message your other unmet matches to say that you will be concentrating on one person, and not meeting other people for a while.

It's better than trying to juggle

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think investing in just one person after a very short time leads to the mind set that causes people to stay in unhappy relationships for far longer than necessary. I think that it's fine to go on three or four dates with several different people as long as everyone knows where they stand. The problems start when dishonesty creeps in. I'd caution against getting sexual until or unless it's agreed that more than one sexual partner is ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go on them all trust me

You not be the only one they talking to or planing a date with

If your not exclusive then assume they got 3-4 or more on the go and quite rightfully so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not on that place but had a conversation recently with 2 friends who are (1 guy 1 girl) and they both said that if you don't meet someone you match with within a week they will likely be on another date and will drift from you anyway.

So if its only for coffee,chat, quick drink I don't think there is any harm in going on a couple but if you like say the 2nd one and want to go out again maybe best to not go on a date with someone else after if that makes sense?

If the first couple don't grab you then I think going with someone else for a first date isn't that harmful as you could like them more.

Clear as mud

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By *enm83Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"I'm not on that place but had a conversation recently with 2 friends who are (1 guy 1 girl) and they both said that if you don't meet someone you match with within a week they will likely be on another date and will drift from you anyway.

If the first couple don't grab you then I think going with someone else for a first date isn't that harmful as you could like them more.

Clear as mud

Go on as many as you can.

Then have a long nap after.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Until you agree to be in an exclusive, romantic relationship you're just friends, nobody would insist that anyone had only one friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go on all of them. My experience is that a number will not want to meet again (obviously a very small percentage in my case

)and you can then see how you feel about the others. I'm now seeing a lady but I had met a large number in the interim until we clicked

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I've never done the dating app thing, I do know though, having been on here, how important a sexual match can be, so if you're looking for a relationship, I'd not rule out testing that side of things before making your choice.

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By *lectrumMan
over a year ago

south shields

There’s seven days in a week bro

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Go on them all! And more

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Play the field and go on them all.

It’s not about being deceitful, but if you are looking for fun or something more serious you will hinder yourself if you start backing out ot coming up with excuses.

Just don’t arrange your dates for the same time ir even back to back.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Go on them all. See which ones you click with in person then take it from there. You may miss a diamond while focusing on a pebble x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.

The question is...how honest would/will you be if any of them ask if you are meeting ant others??

If you answer them honestly then you aren't stringing anyone along.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice is to go on all of the dates. It's just a social meeting and nothing more and this doesn't mean that you're a player.

NBVN x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.

The question is...how honest would/will you be if any of them ask if you are meeting ant others??

If you answer them honestly then you aren't stringing anyone along."

If they ask I'll be honest. Keep them on their toes so they know I'm not desperate and if they want more they need to up their game

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

In addition to what’s been said - and this depends on what you are looking for! - I’m currently committed to loving a poly/nsa/open lifestyle.

I state this clearly on any dating profile which obviously means I get less interest but it does mean I don’t waste anyone else’s time or my own time.

Open and honest.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.

"
Most are seeing a few anyway! Just have to hope you are their favourite. Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.

Most are seeing a few anyway! Just have to hope you are their favourite. Hahaha

I've no worries about that. I'm fucking awesome (and awesome fucking

)

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.

Most are seeing a few anyway! Just have to hope you are their favourite. Hahaha

I've no worries about that. I'm fucking awesome (and awesome fucking

)"
I meant in general dating but that too! Hehe I mean some people are in open ones and all kinds! It depends what people are looking for etc i'm sure you are big head.

hahahaha

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By *inecrestMan
over a year ago

West Yorks

[Removed by poster at 27/11/21 00:06:03]

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By *inecrestMan
over a year ago

West Yorks

Go on as many as you like. Just don't get their names mixed up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think definitely do them all too, BUT beware that some women will take offence (unjustifiably so in my opinion) if they find out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go on as many as you like. Just don't get their names mixed up!"

Jeez that gives me flashbacks of my youth when I had a girlfriend called Joan, and another named Joanne. And back then they'd call on the landline and I sometimes didn't know which one I was taking to until a few minutes into the conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you all. Makes me feel less guilty and less like I'm stringing people along.

The question is...how honest would/will you be if any of them ask if you are meeting ant others??

If you answer them honestly then you aren't stringing anyone along.

If they ask I'll be honest. Keep them on their toes so they know I'm not desperate and if they want more they need to up their game

That strategy could backfire spectacularly

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

I use three sites including this one. Yes at my age different to OP’s . Getting meets / dates difficult. If get , chatting ? Then yes progress if lucky . I can understand from previous female poster about other females not approving if they find out seeing others . Yet do they stop looking ? . Had one recent date if called that , saw at my house takeaway and drinks. Hopefully seeing again. If all ok next weekend .

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"There’s seven days in a week bro

Indeed, and you could be making love by Wednesday. Make sure you chill on Sunday though

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Go on them all. Just don't lie about it if asked.

They are not all going to work out anyway and sone won't make it past the first date

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"There’s seven days in a week bro

Indeed, and you could be making love by Wednesday. Make sure you chill on Sunday though

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By *allFromGrace_xWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I’d go on them all.

I wouldn’t ask someone on a 1st date if they were only seeing me, I’d prob not only be seeing them

if I seen them again once or twice then I’d prioritise them x

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Go on them all. See who you click with best. They're probably doing exactly the same, don't be exclusive until you are exclusive.

Basically. If you have the freedom of time, responsibility and finances to go on all of them then I would.

Don’t worry about your phone. DND mode and give your date all the attention.

Have fun and live a little

^ Exactly that.

I go on dates at a rate I have time for them , Currently only managing about 1-2 a month!! I wouldn’t worry about having multiple if you can for them in and of course your phone should be on silent if you’re on a date!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m about as prudish as it gets on here, and even I say go on them all

After only one date, you don’t owe anybody anything.

You’re a good guy though, to be even thinking about this

Best of luck with it all x

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