FabSwingers.com forum: Is something wrong with me

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This site is beginning to hit my anxieties

I don’t get what I’m doing wrong … people will chat with me have a laugh agree a meet maybe then ghost me

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By *atty39Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"This site is beginning to hit my anxieties

I don’t get what I’m doing wrong … people will chat with me have a laugh agree a meet maybe then ghost me "

Alot of lady's iv spoken to told me the exact same god know why

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Attack of conscience in case the wife/girlfriend found out.

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By *kaythen07Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

If I lived closer.....

Guys should think them self's lucky. Not easy to get a meet here, so to pass one up is beyond me. And you seem like a catch so don't take it personally.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

If could be a catfish or other fake profile types.

You do need to have your wits about you when talking to people, and build up your own flags to look out for.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Having read your profile, he probably shit himself.

So many fellas on here consider themselves dom, some even talk a half decent game, but, when the time comes it strikes them that the most experience they have in that scenario is watching porn.

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By *ixi n DogCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

I think maybe a lot of people use this site as interactive porn simply to get off to. I wouldn't take it too personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve all got something wrong with us as no human is perfect. As for why men are dicking you around - some people are just twats. It’s not intentional, they think they’re doing the right thing, it’s how they can justify their actions to themselves. It doesn’t stop them being twats though.

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

"This site is beginning to hit my anxieties

I don’t get what I’m doing wrong … people will chat with me have a laugh agree a meet maybe then ghost me "

Don’t trust anyone !

Wait till you’ve actually met to make a judgement of the person

Stay strong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry it happens to us all, some people get bored waiting, others get distracted by other fanny and some are just in it for dirty talk. You will find a few good gems that stick around, they just take a little more finding that's all. Don't take it personally, things too seriously and just be yourself, you find the best playmates that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get that on dating sites!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens alot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not you specifically OP.

However of it really is affecting your anxieties then maybe a break from the site might be a good idea.

It should be a fun bonus in your life not something that affects your mental health

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By *xplore89Man
over a year ago

Worsley

"This site is beginning to hit my anxieties

I don’t get what I’m doing wrong … people will chat with me have a laugh agree a meet maybe then ghost me "

I hear this all the time.

Don't know why but there are probably a bunch of reasons and people don't feel as responsible because it's 'just on the internet' or whatever.

Just keep going. Not everyone on here is like that

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By *hunderace...Man
over a year ago

Dudley

I get ghosted by friends lol. Up your age filters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, nothing wrong with you, probably guys who are looking to cheat and then get scared last minute.

Stay strong

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I get ghosted by friends lol. Up your age filters

I'm a terrible friend

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By *hunderace...Man
over a year ago

Dudley

"I get ghosted by friends lol. Up your age filters

I'm a terrible friend

Not you silly

... your always there when I need you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This site is beginning to hit my anxieties

I don’t get what I’m doing wrong … people will chat with me have a laugh agree a meet maybe then ghost me

I hear this all the time.

Don't know why but there are probably a bunch of reasons and people don't feel as responsible because it's 'just on the internet' or whatever.

Just keep going. Not everyone on here is like that"

True

Just on the internet, doesn't mean anything, these are only people, who cares

I'd take a break OP, nobody or nothing is worth the anxiety over, especially va site like this....

Wishing you well x

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"So many fellas on here consider themselves dom, some even talk a half decent game, but, when the time comes it strikes them that the most experience they have in that scenario is watching porn."

You forgot the obligatory “holding a belt in a menacing way” photo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many fellas on here consider themselves dom, some even talk a half decent game, but, when the time comes it strikes them that the most experience they have in that scenario is watching porn.

You forgot the obligatory “holding a belt in a menacing way” photo!"

I mean......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not saying you do this but to cut down on the guys that just want wank chats or pictures don’t engage in it.

If they ask you what you’re into or to describe scenarios just say you prefer to do rather than discuss. Or say that you’ll be happy to discuss things over a coffee.

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"This site is beginning to hit my anxieties

I don’t get what I’m doing wrong … people will chat with me have a laugh agree a meet maybe then ghost me "

I’ve come accept that lots here are fantasists and exhibitionists; they have no intention of meeting anybody.

If you enjoyed the chat, then perhaps your time wasn’t fully wasted but I understand well, the frustration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont see absolutely anything wrong with you, if most guys are ghosting you then theyre not worth anyones time to begin with and has nothing to do with you. Anyone with any kind of decency will be upfront about why a meet didnt go to plan. Unfortunately there is just an unbelievable shit ton of immature boys who look like grown ups on this site. The best thing is not to let it get to you and spoil the fun for yourself.

As cliche as it sounds you just have to wade through a lot of shit to find your gold treasure and thats something we all must do

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By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"So many fellas on here consider themselves dom, some even talk a half decent game, but, when the time comes it strikes them that the most experience they have in that scenario is watching porn.

You forgot the obligatory “holding a belt in a menacing way” photo!"

Well, that’s what I was saying the other day, this isn’t really the place to find meaningful relations of that nature.

Oh, and I have such a picture, just in case there are any spankees here, but I don’t go into my spanking fetish here - FL is where I have a much fuller profile in this regard.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"If could be a catfish or other fake profile types.

You do need to have your wits about you when talking to people, and build up your own flags to look out for."

I would agree with this. The first few meets I arranged I got stood up, ghosted and blocked.

I have a list of flags now that help me separate the wheat from the chaff. A couple of months ago I found myself getting messed around again, and I realised I had stopped being quite as cautious in my vetting. Got back to looking for red flags again and haven't been messed around since.

As a rule if someone asks up front for pics I tend to think they're looking for wank fodder rather than a meet. I don't do sexting, I make it very clear that I'll want a purely social meet initially and I won't be talked into more on that initial meet, I make it clear what I'm looking for and I ask a lot of questions about what the other person is looking for (I won't settle for "fun", I want more details!).

It's not foolproof but it has drastically cut down on the number of times I find myself sitting in a pub waiting for someone who isn't going to show.

Your list of flags will vary but if you're finding this site more stressful than fun it's always worth looking to see what the patterns are.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

1. He got a better offer

2. He's married

3. He's in work

4. His connection is cut off

5. He's just not into you

6. Your latest pic was of you in a veil

7. He got an overseas job

8. He got out of prison ..... finally

9. The footie season started

......... Thing is ...... no one knows and the reasons are on a longer list than the internet can deal with ......

Just keep doing you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This site is beginning to hit my anxieties

I don’t get what I’m doing wrong … people will chat with me have a laugh agree a meet maybe then ghost me "

Do you chat to them about sex or send more pics? Likely they had a wank and now don't need to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This site is beginning to hit my anxieties

I don’t get what I’m doing wrong … people will chat with me have a laugh agree a meet maybe then ghost me "

I don't think it's anything wrong with you it's more to do with (mainly males) thinking this is instantfuck.cum. Oh and then there's just the ones that are hear for different reasons like a ego boost or just to perv or string people along so the chances of them actually meeting are slim to zero.

Just stay yourself and have fun along the way and I'm sure the genuine/true ones will appear and you will see then it's not you it's just there's a mountain coal to dig through before you find your diamonds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This site is beginning to hit my anxieties

I don’t get what I’m doing wrong … people will chat with me have a laugh agree a meet maybe then ghost me "

Just had a quick look through photos and read of your profile and I’ve come to the decision… those guys are fucking mental. Nothing wrong with you at all, just the shocking standard that a large portion of guys on here set for the rest of us!

Keep at it and you’ll find someone who appreciates you and won’t flake like a 99!

If I still lived in Wrexham, I’d offer to go for a drink myself! Unfortunately moved down the road to telford now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I experienced this too when I first got here.

These days I have a few things in order to minimise disappointment.

- I will only chat with a potential meet on WhatsApp. Not just on here or kik. That s out most attached men (unless they have a work phone..but even then you can spot patterns in communication)

- I will never ask for a meet. Either he asks and plans something or nothing will happen.

- I do not sext or send requested pictures. I have enough on here, if they want personal stuff, there’s always OF they can go to.

So far this works for me and I have met a few reliable, genuine guys on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard work on this site. It's same men; majority just don't try and block you.

It's a needle in haystack in here.

I feel at.times there really ain't no point to this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not saying you do this but to cut down on the guys that just want wank chats or pictures don’t engage in it.

If they ask you what you’re into or to describe scenarios just say you prefer to do rather than discuss. Or say that you’ll be happy to discuss things over a coffee. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh don’t let it get to you.. it’s really not you it happens to us all.

I’ve been ghosted & let down many times.

There are a lot of fantasists on here who are either looking for wank fodder or get a kick out of getting attention/chatting but never have any intention of meeting.

Keep you’re chin up.. there are definitely some decent ones on here!

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Nothing entirely wrong with you and never think their is.people at times lose their bottle last minute or something else but for me only distance x

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By *reestylingWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I am very discerning and sadly take nothing at face value on Fab; I try to read between the lines as much as possible. I have had some incredible sex of this site so I know there are incredible guys out there.

My preferences have changed as I have been on here. At the outset I was happy with a one off and that was easy peasy to find. Now I seek FWB/A lover and that really needs some real work to through the time wasters. I continue my search though as I know sexual fulfilment is out there.

Should add that the best sex I have had in my married life was with a lover I found on here.

So don’t give up; the good guys are defo out there xx

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

Firstly, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you OP.

The ones with the problem are the chancers and fantasists who unfortunately seem to be getting far more prevalent on here.

I’d use some of the very good tips others have mentioned to try and filter them out, but rest assured that YOU are not the problem here, many genuine people would be honoured to meet you, myself included

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