FabSwingers.com forum: fear of rejection...

By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys... why don't more couples and single women do the chasing and find the ones they want.... as oppose to waiting on it to fall into their laps....

proactive as opposed to being reactive...

could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

I'll put the flak jacket on and sit and wait

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

more than happy to chase single guys ...if they aint interested i move on ...simples !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

what the fuck....

you mean read profiles, match what you are looking for with what is on offer, craft a message that is not a copy and paste one, no spelling mistakes, no text speak and ensuring any pics attached is not going to offend despite difference in taste...

are you mad........

(disclaimer, I know some do)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I'll put the flak jacket on and sit and wait

I don't think it is a flak jacket question....

I think it is probably easier to be the one saying "no thank you"... than the one who "no thank you" is being said to......

hence why you see it is why single guys are the ones who are thought of to make the first move so to speak....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

now that would make a nice change. I always get people looking a few times at my profile and wonder are they interested. every meet I have had so far I have had to chase and run the gauntlet to get through

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have done the chasing and it's lead to some very fun meets, we are more than happy to send first message and once we have some idea about that person we have no problem in asking " so would you like to meet"

In honesty it's me the fem that sends all the messages, Luke lurks in the background, I will then say think I have found someone we might like to meet, he will then look over the profile and say yes or no!! Works for us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can imagine some couples who won't admit it being cheesed off by the lack of attention

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I'll put the flak jacket on and sit and wait

Don't think a flak jacket is required, it's a good question.

We have no problem searching and contacting single guys that I/we are interested in. Beats sitting round waiting and hoping that they might email us.....

Can't say we particularly enjoy rejection (who does) but it's part and parcel of swinging. If they are not interested then so be it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"We have done the chasing and it's lead to some very fun meets, we are more than happy to send first message and once we have some idea about that person we have no problem in asking " so would you like to meet"

snap

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reason my profile hidden is because I would rather message guys I like the look of than go through loads of messages and not find one I like look of. Have I been rejected hell yes does it bother me no plenty more to pester

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it always throws me a curve ball when i get contacting or chased, i actually get sceptical of the validity at first lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and playing devil's advocate here cpls are the minority compared to single males so they will get there fair share of offers with out lifting a finger so why would they feel they have to work for it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Rejection is an interesting concept as two people would see a "no" in different ways; one person would brush it off as a one off and move on to the next - another might feel genuinely hurt. The latter is sometimes out of having some other issues, perhaps a temporary low self esteem?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can imagine some couples who won't admit it being cheesed off by the lack of attention

Why would couples be cheesed off by the lack of attention?

We are not here for the "look at me"

Aspect of the site!

We are here to find friends to have some naughty fun with!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rejection is an interesting concept as two people would see a "no" in different ways; one person would brush it off as a one off and move on to the next - another might feel genuinely hurt. The latter is sometimes out of having some other issues, perhaps a temporary low self esteem? "

I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And as for the rejection, we would rather be told a polite no thanks than wasting our time with messaged and arranging possible meet to find there is no attraction, we know we are probably not everyones cup of tea and we are fine with that!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

plenty do look around and get in touch, i always get someone new maybe a few times new each week get in touch from either a single girl or couple

but its all down to your profile and the attraction it creates

if you going to just have a profile thats all cock and ass and nothing else then i know most females will probs just look at it and move onto the next one - althought will work well for attracting blokes lol

so if you want incoming mail id say in general be more open on your profile and show yourself off in your best light and it gives people a reason to get in touch

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a waiter, I don't send out first messages, as a person who doesn't have much going for me and low confidence, I prefer to be contacted and pick from who does, I would hate to be constantly rejected

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection.

"
Absolutely! When I have to say no to somebody, anybody be it on the site or in other situations I try to remain aware of teh fact that I wont know what kind of person I am dealing with so I try to be as diplomatic as possible. It does not always work but it helps I think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll put the flak jacket on and sit and wait

I don't think it is a flak jacket question....

I think it is probably easier to be the one saying "no thank you"... than the one who "no thank you" is being said to......

hence why you see it is why single guys are the ones who are thought of to make the first move so to speak...."

Of course it's easier to be the one saying the no thank yous and we're lucky enough to be in that position and appreciate that...but equally not afraid to make the first move if I stumble across a profile I like...and if nothing comes of it, so be it.

Squames

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys ? I dont and never will as have some lovely men friends from here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys ? I dont and never will as have some lovely men friends from here.

"
Same here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection.

Absolutely! When I have to say no to somebody, anybody be it on the site or in other situations I try to remain aware of teh fact that I wont know what kind of person I am dealing with so I try to be as diplomatic as possible. It does not always work but it helps I think

Always best to be diplomatic and also be polite! I do at times have to reign myself in (others are welcome to as well) and the sales mentality kicks in and i want to start doing some objection handling!

Have to remember this is playtime not work! Though that said some things are transferrable like etiquette and being punctual. And if you have to cancel a meet let the people know!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys ? I dont and never will as have some lovely men friends from here.

"
And meant to add... perhaps that is why I very rarely get unpleasant replies from single males? I am polite, try to be friendly and reap that response most of the time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection.

Have to remember this is playtime not work! Though that said some things are transferrable like etiquette and being punctual. And if you have to cancel a meet let the people know!!!

Do tell me more about your objection handling as it sounds very sexy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hynottsCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

[Removed by poster at 26/09/12 12:19:06]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"it always throws me a curve ball when i get contacting or chased, i actually get sceptical of the validity at first lol

Fibber....you like it really

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys... why don't more couples and single women do the chasing and find the ones they want.... as oppose to waiting on it to fall into their laps....

proactive as opposed to being reactive...

could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?"

If it wasn't for the lovely single men I have met on here I wouldn't have had or be having half the fun I am . There are always a few idiots in any walk of life, but luckily the good ones outweigh the bad. When I first joined the site I very rarely made first contact with people, but as my confidence has grown so has my outlook on meets and possible rejection. The benefits have outweighed the risk though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection.

Have to remember this is playtime not work! Though that said some things are transferrable like etiquette and being punctual. And if you have to cancel a meet let the people know!!!

Do tell me more about your objection handling as it sounds very sexy

its not that exciting lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it always throws me a curve ball when i get contacting or chased, i actually get sceptical of the validity at first lol

Fibber....you like it really

Not saying i don't like it just that i am sceptical lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

proactive as opposed to being reactive...

could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?"

A worrying thought for all the ignored, single guys on this thread.

I've often wondered whether all single ladies and couples do carefully select single guys and make the first contact.

I just wish they were more random rather than selective!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

proactive as opposed to being reactive...

could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?

A worrying thought for all the ignored, single guys on this thread.

I've often wondered whether all single ladies and couples do carefully select single guys and make the first contact.

I just wish they were more random rather than selective!!"

What's the point in being random? That should apply to singles as well as couples. I'm not going to make contact with someone I wouldn't be interested in meeting?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"I'll put the flak jacket on and sit and wait

I don't think it is a flak jacket question....

I think it is probably easier to be the one saying "no thank you"... than the one who "no thank you" is being said to......

hence why you see it is why single guys are the ones who are thought of to make the first move so to speak...."

I totally understand what you are saying, and to be fair most of my meets are started by others rather than myself. Guess I have just been lucky in the past

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A worrying thought for all the ignored, single guys on this thread.

I've often wondered whether all single ladies and couples do carefully select single guys and make the first contact.

I just wish they were more random rather than selective!!

What's the point in being random? That should apply to singles as well as couples. I'm not going to make contact with someone I wouldn't be interested in meeting?!"

Only joking - randomness might give some of us more chance.

Aiming for those 'sympathy contacts' I suppose!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys ? I dont and never will as have some lovely men friends from here.

And meant to add... perhaps that is why I very rarely get unpleasant replies from single males? I am polite, try to be friendly and reap that response most of the time."

Absolutely - manners costs nothing. I am and have been very polite and diplomatic when it comes to giving a 'no thank you' response; and it hasn't only been toward single guys. I just don't understand some people, and yes they are on here, who feel that the only way to reject, is to be rude and obnoxious - but, that said, sometimes it can become a little tedious when you just know that your profile hasn't been read fully; although I personally still wouldn't be rude to someone if that was the case

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uggers nemesisCouple
over a year ago

london

proactive as opposed to being reactive...

could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?"

Sorry mate but how would you know?Maybe couples that want single guys are proactive and do hunt single guys down how do any of us know how other people use the site?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

proactive as opposed to being reactive...

could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?"

I do think you're generalising here, possibly from your own experience - considering that there are approximately 11450 people on fabs at the moment - its a pretty bold statement.

If all the couples in that 11450 were reactive and feared rejection, fabs would be a very dull place indeed!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe i would look for singles if i had no mail in my box ... I get alot of mail .So never felt the need .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am going to add another "flak jacket required" comment into the mix.

Look back up the thread and look at the people who've said they actively look for partners and make the first move.

From all the pics I can see on their pages they would be described as rather fit, lithe,attractive. Choose your own adjective.

So the likelyhood of them being rejected per message sent out is probably pretty small. Even if they don't actually meet in the end they will probably get a favourable first response.

In fact, due to the disparity of users on the site any woman/couple making the first move, particularly on a single guy, is liable to get a favourable first response not a rejection.

So, let the tranny bashing begin

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/09/12 13:57:12]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most of the women on here are just after a boost to there ego. "Don't forget to fab my pix" yet when you try contacting them ...alas nothing. So come on and hate on me if you wish...you know its true

"
I put new pics on got over 700 letters in 2 days and i put thanks for fabbing as cant Wright back to all say thanks .. if thats BAD sorry but i cant .. why i say it in my profile i cant ,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am going to add another "flak jacket required" comment into the mix.

Look back up the thread and look at the people who've said they actively look for partners and make the first move.

From all the pics I can see on their pages they would be described as rather fit, lithe,attractive. Choose your own adjective.

So the likelyhood of them being rejected per message sent out is probably pretty small. Even if they don't actually meet in the end they will probably get a favourable first response.

In fact, due to the disparity of users on the site any woman/couple making the first move, particularly on a single guy, is liable to get a favourable first response not a rejection.

So, let the tranny bashing begin

I think you make a valid point there, but in saying that you have possibly hit the nail on the head...decent profiles with pics...something a lot of single guys who have contacted us in the past have failed on...and they wonder why rejection follows!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put new pics on got over 700 letters in 2 days and i put thanks for fabbing as cant Wright back to all say thanks .. if thats BAD sorry but i cant .. why i say it in my profile i cant ,"

Brilliant! Love it when someone makes a post, thinks better of it and then it is quoted straight away! lol

Oops!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not afraid to contact the people I'm interested in, n if they say no or just delete it doesn't matter, as Im a big enough girl to take the rejection, as i no I won't be everyones idea of attractive. In fact I prefer to make the first contact, it's much easier than getting bombarded by mail from people that don't fit your preferences.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put new pics on got over 700 letters in 2 days and i put thanks for fabbing as cant Wright back to all say thanks .. if thats BAD sorry but i cant .. why i say it in my profile i cant ,"

Oh and Jo, you know you haven't done anything wrong hun xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do.

Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never mail guys first not because i want to reject people but because for someone to catch my eye enough for me to wantg to mail them they have to be really good looking, in my eyes obviously, but then if they are really good looking i just think they must get offers from loads of attractive women so they wont be interested in the likes of me, so i dont bother mailing them

But then if they mail me and they're good looking i think, hes obviously not looked at my pics theres no way he'll like me, so dont reply

Dont some people just infuriate you lol

But over all yes id rather the guys mail me first so i know theres at least half a chance of them liking me rather than me mailing them and getting laughed at

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do.

Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys.

show off lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do.

Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys.

show off lol

More than you know!! I love 'showing'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never mail guys first not because i want to reject people but because for someone to catch my eye enough for me to wantg to mail them they have to be really good looking, in my eyes obviously, but then if they are really good looking i just think they must get offers from loads of attractive women so they wont be interested in the likes of me, so i dont bother mailing them

But then if they mail me and they're good looking i think, hes obviously not looked at my pics theres no way he'll like me, so dont reply

Dont some people just infuriate you lol

But over all yes id rather the guys mail me first so i know theres at least half a chance of them liking me rather than me mailing them and getting laughed at

I entirely get where you're coming from.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do.

Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys.

show off lol

More than you know!! I love 'showing'

Mmmm show and tell! hehe

shame you block guys, is that because you get flooded by mail hehe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

But then if they mail me and they're good looking i think, hes obviously not looked at my pics theres no way he'll like me, so dont reply

Dont some people just infuriate you lol

But over all yes id rather the guys mail me first so i know theres at least half a chance of them liking me rather than me mailing them and getting laughed at

but in a way, that was half the point I was getting at...

people out there being reactive and waiting on things to land in their lap as opposed to being proactive and going for it?????

or expecting others to make first move?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But then if they mail me and they're good looking i think, hes obviously not looked at my pics theres no way he'll like me, so dont reply

Dont some people just infuriate you lol

But over all yes id rather the guys mail me first so i know theres at least half a chance of them liking me rather than me mailing them and getting laughed at

but in a way, that was half the point I was getting at...

people out there being reactive and waiting on things to land in their lap as opposed to being proactive and going for it?????

or expecting others to make first move?"

i dont expect anything

If guys want to mail me thats upto them, if they dont thats also upto them

But either way believe me nothing lands in your lap on here, even if a guy mails me first that dont mean i get a hassle from shag, i still have to find somewhere to meet, get to a meet, get home at god knows what time in the morning with no car etc i dont drive so mailing someone is the easy bit, its me that does the work after they just get in their care and turn up as arranged

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh Ive blocked guys? By accident I assure you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do.

Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys.

"
How i see it here like a candy shop pick and mix and lots on offer , lol oo i will have one of them and one of them , lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icesweetgirlWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I admit I never look for profiles either couples or single guys. I get enough emailing me. I occasionally send a message to someone if I notice a pic I like or a comment. But it's never looking for a reply.

I'm not bothered about rejection from any of them as I'm not looking for anything serious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do.

Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys.

How i see it here like a candy shop pick and mix and lots on offer , lol oo i will have one of them and one of them , lol

Exactly!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

people out there being reactive and waiting on things to land in their lap as opposed to being proactive and going for it?????

or expecting others to make first move?"

I am not sure it is waiting for things to drop in your lap....it is more there are lots of single men about who can keep our mailbox ticking over so it may be the same for others?

Either way, we do both, if I see a profile that I like, I show the OH and we mail them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So to answer the original question. Single men have to be proactive and not mind rejection.

As ably demonstrated by Jo and Charlotte, particularly the latter who now has Juzie in her mail que, women have to do very little but wait for the hoardes to send complimentary mail.

And couples probably have a mixed bag, depending on how hot they look in their pics.

This sound about right?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I hate it when couples and single women contact me... also when the gheys do it... and straight men... and TVs. (except Soxy)

Makes you feel like you have to do the 'talky' thing with them etc. etc.

I come here to wank at lunch times, that is all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, let the tranny bashing begin

Quite. And more galling is when they ask for 'help' with either their profiles or 'why am I not getting laid' in the forums, we all give 'advice' (hmmm.....) and you check the profile again a few days later to find..... NO change. Well, well - what a surprise.

As Perky is looking forward to our first MMF, I am now looking through guys profiles to find ones she might like (hope I know he likes and dislikes by now) and it is a depressingly slow process - mainly due to the woefully poor quality of the profiles... let alone the pics!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So to answer the original question. Single men have to be proactive and not mind rejection.

As ably demonstrated by Jo and Charlotte, particularly the latter who now has Juzie in her mail que, women have to do very little but wait for the hoardes to send complimentary mail.

And couples probably have a mixed bag, depending on how hot they look in their pics.

This sound about right?"
Everyday here i get lovely letter s ... so why do i need to go looking when i am happy with the people that mail and cant keep up with my post box.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate it when couples and single women contact me... also when the gheys do it... and straight men... and TVs. (except Soxy)

Makes you feel like you have to do the 'talky' thing with them etc. etc.

I come here to wank at lunch times, that is all.

"
ok my friend , lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I hate it when couples and single women contact me... also when the gheys do it... and straight men... and TVs. (except Soxy)

Makes you feel like you have to do the 'talky' thing with them etc. etc.

I come here to wank at lunch times, that is all.

ok my friend , lol

Ok ok apart from Jo as well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Am going to add another "flak jacket required" comment into the mix.

Look back up the thread and look at the people who've said they actively look for partners and make the first move.

From all the pics I can see on their pages they would be described as rather fit, lithe,attractive. Choose your own adjective.

So the likelyhood of them being rejected per message sent out is probably pretty small. Even if they don't actually meet in the end they will probably get a favourable first response.

In fact, due to the disparity of users on the site any woman/couple making the first move, particularly on a single guy, is liable to get a favourable first response not a rejection.

So, let the tranny bashing begin

You make some good points but....

Can only speak for ourselves but we get our fair share of 'thanks but no thanks' messages back from single guys. Maybe we just mail the fussy ones!

Plus a fair percentage of no replies.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am going to add another "flak jacket required" comment into the mix.

Look back up the thread and look at the people who've said they actively look for partners and make the first move.

From all the pics I can see on their pages they would be described as rather fit, lithe,attractive. Choose your own adjective.

So the likelyhood of them being rejected per message sent out is probably pretty small. Even if they don't actually meet in the end they will probably get a favourable first response.

In fact, due to the disparity of users on the site any woman/couple making the first move, particularly on a single guy, is liable to get a favourable first response not a rejection.

So, let the tranny bashing begin

You make some good points but....

Can only speak for ourselves but we get our fair share of 'thanks but no thanks' messages back from single guys. Maybe we just mail the fussy ones!

Plus a fair percentage of no replies.

I actually find that shockingly hard to believe, and im not arse licking cause im after a shag either lol but looking at your pics id say the single guys would have to look long and hard to find a nicer looking woman on fab

Just goes to show how everyone sees attractive as different i guess

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But Bendaroos I would guess that you probably only mail single guys with a similar level of hotness as yourselves. Possibly the kind of look/guy that gets lots of offers anyway.

For example, if I lived near you and had my male profile registered there I wouldn't be expecting a mail from you any time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if we're being honest, we've never chased a single guy and thats because we've never needed to

Even though our profile says we're not looking for single guys, we still get swamped with messages and winks from single guys, its just easier really as you know they already like you...

so not worried about rejection in the slightest, we're not everyones cup of tea and they're not ours, just the way it is

good question though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate it when couples and single women contact me... also when the gheys do it... and straight men... and TVs. (except Soxy)

Makes you feel like you have to do the 'talky' thing with them etc. etc.

I come here to wank at lunch times, that is all.

ewwwwww ya mucky pup.............can't you wank and talk at the same time!? hehehe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"more than happy to chase single guys ...if they aint interested i move on ...simples ! "

Me too. I'm more than happy to approach people I like the look of. If they're not interested I chalk it up to experience and move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

proactive as opposed to being reactive...

could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?"

I'm never one to bash single guys - hell, they're why this site leads to fun, after all!

I/ we have messaged single guys without problem. Hell, no-one ticks everyone's boxes, so all of us can 'suffer' rejection at some point. Generally we do, I must confess, receive more messages than we send, but if I/ we are looking then I/ we will happily do the seeking and chasing of the single men

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a look today for a single bloke

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have messaged single guys first but and its a big but ................ it always seems to get me into trouble ...... lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

P.s if there are any in our area who can accommodate, get in touch

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I am not everyone's cup of tea, and do not have any issues with rejection.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I do find it an ego boost to be persued so most of my meets come from guys who have made the first move.

But I do sometimes go on the hunt, looking through profiles and meets to see what I find. I don't often send a mail but I do wink.

I also have been know to stalk, ahem pester, ahem flirt gently with forumites who take my fancy

I've had some great meets that way.

It is easy to become lazy and either pick from those who offer or to simply crook a finger (or drop an eyelid in a wink) and wait for the message in response. But like everyone else I have had rejections and silence.

Unlike NN I brazenly hunt out of my league and am constantly amazed and flattered by my success!

So much so that I have to remind myself not to get arrogant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I love going on the hunt.... it's like shopping.

I don't need to go looking, I enjoy looking... and when I see something I want, I am too impatient to wait around for them to message me first.

I look at it as … nothing ventured, nothing gained.

If a guy is intimidated (which some are) by a woman making the first move, then they were not for me anyway.

If I am not their type, so what…. that would be the same whether I had messaged them or not, so I have lost nothing…. and there really are plenty more fish in the sea. If you get knocked back, there is another 100 dozen scrummy man-babes to move on to.

I still scan my inbox, but I’ll be damned if I am going to rely on dredging through the dross that turns up there……… I like my selection box to have more choice than a cheap toffee and a half eaten caramel cluster.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do find it an ego boost to be persued so most of my meets come from guys who have made the first move.

But I do sometimes go on the hunt, looking through profiles and meets to see what I find. I don't often send a mail but I do wink.

I also have been know to stalk, ahem pester, ahem flirt gently with forumites who take my fancy

I've had some great meets that way.

Unlike NN I brazenly hunt out of my league and am constantly amazed and flattered by my success!

So much so that I have to remind myself not to get arrogant.

and sometimes you slum it with me hehe xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unlike NN I brazenly hunt out of my league and am constantly amazed and flattered by my success!

So much so that I have to remind myself not to get arrogant.

That can be quite hard lol

I have met many guys that when meeting them i've thought, theres no way hes going to like me, but ive put my head on the block and agreed to meet as they have been very good looking and had been suprised as hell when after meeting for a drink they have wanted to play

I walk away after sometimes thinking...this sites all fucked up lol

And i do think at times, am i not really as bad as i think i am? or will these guys really shag anything lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always do the chasing, both on my profile (this one!) and on our couple profile. I didn't like getting lots of mail from people I had nothing in common with so I took the profiles off searches and now get about one new mail a week.

I get rejected/ ignored more often than anything, on both profiles. But sometimes I make a connection and I can't believe my luck!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I've messaged single guys and couples, I don't really see a problem with it. I don't really see it as a rejection either, you message, they respond or they don't, its no biggie really.

There is no guy on here whom I desperately have to play with. There are lovely looking gorgeous guys for sure, 100 times better looking than I could ever be, but my lovely middle aged, soft tummied man turns me on far more than a message to a stranger could, so I never really get that bothered about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I hate it when couples and single women contact me... also when the gheys do it... and straight men... and TVs. (except Soxy)

Makes you feel like you have to do the 'talky' thing with them etc. etc.

I come here to wank at lunch times, that is all.

ewwwwww ya mucky pup.............can't you wank and talk at the same time!? hehehe

Ah yes I have heard of this, are you referring to this multi-tasking thing that you ladies are into?

No, it's not for me sorry, I do one thing and I do it well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love the thought of this OP topic and i can only speak for myself in that i have 7 females who always do the chasing and thats just to get rid on me lol hehehhehe

Seriously; i do think some women if attracted to you and there is a chemistry bewteen you here; will do an element of chasing; but in a FAB world where men outway the women by a 1000/1 id say we should not hold our breath to long waiting to be chased...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ont Ask Dont GetWoman
over a year ago

amersham

I have made first contact from time to time and have sometimes sensed an element of scepticism or mistrust. Maybe they think I'm a stalker or a bunny boiler!

Couldn't be further from the truth!

I guess it must be rather unusual for women to contact men that some are not sure how to react to it ??

And as for rejection... well, none of us is going to be everyone's cup of tea... nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread