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"I'll put the flak jacket on and sit and wait ![]() I don't think it is a flak jacket question.... ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I'll put the flak jacket on and sit and wait ![]() Don't think a flak jacket is required, it's a good question. We have no problem searching and contacting single guys that I/we are interested in. Beats sitting round waiting and hoping that they might email us..... Can't say we particularly enjoy rejection (who does) but it's part and parcel of swinging. If they are not interested then so be it. ![]() | |||
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"We have done the chasing and it's lead to some very fun meets, we are more than happy to send first message and once we have some idea about that person we have no problem in asking " so would you like to meet" In honesty it's me the fem that sends all the messages, Luke lurks in the background, I will then say think I have found someone we might like to meet, he will then look over the profile and say yes or no!! Works for us ![]() snap ![]() | |||
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"I can imagine some couples who won't admit it being cheesed off by the lack of attention ![]() Why would couples be cheesed off by the lack of attention? We are not here for the "look at me" Aspect of the site! We are here to find friends to have some naughty fun with! ![]() | |||
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"Rejection is an interesting concept as two people would see a "no" in different ways; one person would brush it off as a one off and move on to the next - another might feel genuinely hurt. The latter is sometimes out of having some other issues, perhaps a temporary low self esteem? " I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection. ![]() | |||
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"Rejection is an interesting concept as two people would see a "no" in different ways; one person would brush it off as a one off and move on to the next - another might feel genuinely hurt. The latter is sometimes out of having some other issues, perhaps a temporary low self esteem? I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection. ![]() Absolutely! When I have to say no to somebody, anybody be it on the site or in other situations I try to remain aware of teh fact that I wont know what kind of person I am dealing with so I try to be as diplomatic as possible. It does not always work but it helps I think ![]() | |||
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"I'll put the flak jacket on and sit and wait ![]() ![]() ![]() Of course it's easier to be the one saying the no thank yous and we're lucky enough to be in that position and appreciate that...but equally not afraid to make the first move if I stumble across a profile I like...and if nothing comes of it, so be it. Squames | |||
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"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys ? I dont and never will as have some lovely men friends from here. ![]() Same here ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Rejection is an interesting concept as two people would see a "no" in different ways; one person would brush it off as a one off and move on to the next - another might feel genuinely hurt. The latter is sometimes out of having some other issues, perhaps a temporary low self esteem? I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection. ![]() ![]() Always best to be diplomatic and also be polite! I do at times have to reign myself in (others are welcome to as well) and the sales mentality kicks in and i want to start doing some objection handling! ![]() ![]() | |||
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"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys ? I dont and never will as have some lovely men friends from here. ![]() And meant to add... perhaps that is why I very rarely get unpleasant replies from single males? I am polite, try to be friendly and reap that response most of the time. | |||
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"Rejection is an interesting concept as two people would see a "no" in different ways; one person would brush it off as a one off and move on to the next - another might feel genuinely hurt. The latter is sometimes out of having some other issues, perhaps a temporary low self esteem? I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Do tell me more about your objection handling as it sounds very sexy ![]() | |||
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"it always throws me a curve ball when i get contacting or chased, i actually get sceptical of the validity at first lol ![]() ![]() ![]() Fibber....you like it really ![]() | |||
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"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys... why don't more couples and single women do the chasing and find the ones they want.... as oppose to waiting on it to fall into their laps.... proactive as opposed to being reactive... could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?" If it wasn't for the lovely single men I have met on here I wouldn't have had or be having half the fun I am . There are always a few idiots in any walk of life, but luckily the good ones outweigh the bad. When I first joined the site I very rarely made first contact with people, but as my confidence has grown so has my outlook on meets and possible rejection. The benefits have outweighed the risk though. ![]() | |||
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"Rejection is an interesting concept as two people would see a "no" in different ways; one person would brush it off as a one off and move on to the next - another might feel genuinely hurt. The latter is sometimes out of having some other issues, perhaps a temporary low self esteem? I agree, working in a sales environment you see different reactions all the time when people receive rejection. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() its not that exciting lol | |||
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"it always throws me a curve ball when i get contacting or chased, i actually get sceptical of the validity at first lol ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Not saying i don't like it just that i am sceptical lol | |||
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"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys... why don't more couples and single women do the chasing and find the ones they want.... as oppose to waiting on it to fall into their laps.... proactive as opposed to being reactive... could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?" A worrying thought for all the ignored, single guys on this thread. I've often wondered whether all single ladies and couples do carefully select single guys and make the first contact. I just wish they were more random rather than selective!! | |||
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"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys... why don't more couples and single women do the chasing and find the ones they want.... as oppose to waiting on it to fall into their laps.... proactive as opposed to being reactive... could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected? A worrying thought for all the ignored, single guys on this thread. I've often wondered whether all single ladies and couples do carefully select single guys and make the first contact. I just wish they were more random rather than selective!!" ![]() | |||
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"I'll put the flak jacket on and sit and wait ![]() ![]() ![]() I totally understand what you are saying, and to be fair most of my meets are started by others rather than myself. Guess I have just been lucky in the past ![]() | |||
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" A worrying thought for all the ignored, single guys on this thread. I've often wondered whether all single ladies and couples do carefully select single guys and make the first contact. I just wish they were more random rather than selective!! ![]() Only joking - randomness might give some of us more chance. Aiming for those 'sympathy contacts' I suppose! | |||
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"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys ? I dont and never will as have some lovely men friends from here. ![]() Absolutely - manners costs nothing. I am and have been very polite and diplomatic when it comes to giving a 'no thank you' response; and it hasn't only been toward single guys. I just don't understand some people, and yes they are on here, who feel that the only way to reject, is to be rude and obnoxious - but, that said, sometimes it can become a little tedious when you just know that your profile hasn't been read fully; although I personally still wouldn't be rude to someone if that was the case ![]() | |||
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"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys... why don't more couples and single women do the chasing and find the ones they want.... as oppose to waiting on it to fall into their laps.... proactive as opposed to being reactive... could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?" Sorry mate but how would you know?Maybe couples that want single guys are proactive and do hunt single guys down how do any of us know how other people use the site? ![]() | |||
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"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys... why don't more couples and single women do the chasing and find the ones they want.... as oppose to waiting on it to fall into their laps.... proactive as opposed to being reactive... could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?" I do think you're generalising here, possibly from your own experience - considering that there are approximately 11450 people on fabs at the moment - its a pretty bold statement. If all the couples in that 11450 were reactive and feared rejection, fabs would be a very dull place indeed! ![]() | |||
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"Most of the women on here are just after a boost to there ego. "Don't forget to fab my pix" yet when you try contacting them ...alas nothing. So come on and hate on me if you wish...you know its true ![]() I put new pics on got over 700 letters in 2 days and i put thanks for fabbing as cant Wright back to all say thanks .. if thats BAD sorry but i cant .. why i say it in my profile i cant , | |||
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"Am going to add another "flak jacket required" comment into the mix. Look back up the thread and look at the people who've said they actively look for partners and make the first move. From all the pics I can see on their pages they would be described as rather fit, lithe,attractive. Choose your own adjective. So the likelyhood of them being rejected per message sent out is probably pretty small. Even if they don't actually meet in the end they will probably get a favourable first response. In fact, due to the disparity of users on the site any woman/couple making the first move, particularly on a single guy, is liable to get a favourable first response not a rejection. So, let the tranny bashing begin ![]() I think you make a valid point there, but in saying that you have possibly hit the nail on the head...decent profiles with pics...something a lot of single guys who have contacted us in the past have failed on...and they wonder why rejection follows! | |||
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"Most of the women on here are just after a boost to there ego. "Don't forget to fab my pix" yet when you try contacting them ...alas nothing. So come on and hate on me if you wish...you know its true ![]() Brilliant! Love it when someone makes a post, thinks better of it and then it is quoted straight away! lol ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Most of the women on here are just after a boost to there ego. "Don't forget to fab my pix" yet when you try contacting them ...alas nothing. So come on and hate on me if you wish...you know its true ![]() Oh and Jo, you know you haven't done anything wrong hun xx | |||
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"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do. Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys. ![]() show off lol ![]() | |||
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"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do. Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys. ![]() ![]() More than you know!! I love 'showing' ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I never mail guys first not because i want to reject people but because for someone to catch my eye enough for me to wantg to mail them they have to be really good looking, in my eyes obviously, but then if they are really good looking i just think they must get offers from loads of attractive women so they wont be interested in the likes of me, so i dont bother mailing them But then if they mail me and they're good looking i think, hes obviously not looked at my pics theres no way he'll like me, so dont reply ![]() ![]() I entirely get where you're coming from. | |||
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"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do. Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Mmmm show and tell! hehe ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I never mail guys first not because i want to reject people but because for someone to catch my eye enough for me to wantg to mail them they have to be really good looking, in my eyes obviously, but then if they are really good looking i just think they must get offers from loads of attractive women so they wont be interested in the likes of me, so i dont bother mailing them But then if they mail me and they're good looking i think, hes obviously not looked at my pics theres no way he'll like me, so dont reply ![]() ![]() but in a way, that was half the point I was getting at... people out there being reactive and waiting on things to land in their lap as opposed to being proactive and going for it????? or expecting others to make first move? | |||
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"I never mail guys first not because i want to reject people but because for someone to catch my eye enough for me to wantg to mail them they have to be really good looking, in my eyes obviously, but then if they are really good looking i just think they must get offers from loads of attractive women so they wont be interested in the likes of me, so i dont bother mailing them But then if they mail me and they're good looking i think, hes obviously not looked at my pics theres no way he'll like me, so dont reply ![]() ![]() i dont expect anything If guys want to mail me thats upto them, if they dont thats also upto them But either way believe me nothing lands in your lap on here, even if a guy mails me first that dont mean i get a hassle from shag, i still have to find somewhere to meet, get to a meet, get home at god knows what time in the morning with no car etc i dont drive so mailing someone is the easy bit, its me that does the work after they just get in their care and turn up as arranged | |||
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"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do. Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys. ![]() How i see it here like a candy shop pick and mix and lots on offer , lol oo i will have one of them and one of them , lol ![]() | |||
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"Im lucky in that I dont have to 'first message' guys to meet, I get a lot of offers as Im sure most other single fems do. Sometimes its just a pick and mix of guys. ![]() ![]() Exactly!!! ![]() | |||
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" people out there being reactive and waiting on things to land in their lap as opposed to being proactive and going for it????? or expecting others to make first move?" I am not sure it is waiting for things to drop in your lap....it is more there are lots of single men about who can keep our mailbox ticking over so it may be the same for others? Either way, we do both, if I see a profile that I like, I show the OH and we mail them ![]() | |||
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"So, let the tranny bashing begin ![]() Quite. And more galling is when they ask for 'help' with either their profiles or 'why am I not getting laid' in the forums, we all give 'advice' (hmmm.....) and you check the profile again a few days later to find..... NO change. Well, well - what a surprise. As Perky is looking forward to our first MMF, I am now looking through guys profiles to find ones she might like (hope I know he likes and dislikes by now) and it is a depressingly slow process - mainly due to the woefully poor quality of the profiles... let alone the pics! ![]() | |||
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"So to answer the original question. Single men have to be proactive and not mind rejection. As ably demonstrated by Jo and Charlotte, particularly the latter who now has Juzie in her mail que, women have to do very little but wait for the hoardes to send complimentary mail. And couples probably have a mixed bag, depending on how hot they look in their pics. This sound about right?" Everyday here i get lovely letter s ... so why do i need to go looking when i am happy with the people that mail and cant keep up with my post box. | |||
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"I hate it when couples and single women contact me... also when the gheys do it... and straight men... and TVs. (except Soxy) Makes you feel like you have to do the 'talky' thing with them etc. etc. I come here to wank at lunch times, that is all. ![]() ok my friend , lol ![]() | |||
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"I hate it when couples and single women contact me... also when the gheys do it... and straight men... and TVs. (except Soxy) Makes you feel like you have to do the 'talky' thing with them etc. etc. I come here to wank at lunch times, that is all. ![]() ![]() Ok ok apart from Jo as well. ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Am going to add another "flak jacket required" comment into the mix. Look back up the thread and look at the people who've said they actively look for partners and make the first move. From all the pics I can see on their pages they would be described as rather fit, lithe,attractive. Choose your own adjective. So the likelyhood of them being rejected per message sent out is probably pretty small. Even if they don't actually meet in the end they will probably get a favourable first response. In fact, due to the disparity of users on the site any woman/couple making the first move, particularly on a single guy, is liable to get a favourable first response not a rejection. So, let the tranny bashing begin ![]() You make some good points but.... Can only speak for ourselves but we get our fair share of 'thanks but no thanks' messages back from single guys. Maybe we just mail the fussy ones! ![]() | |||
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"Am going to add another "flak jacket required" comment into the mix. Look back up the thread and look at the people who've said they actively look for partners and make the first move. From all the pics I can see on their pages they would be described as rather fit, lithe,attractive. Choose your own adjective. So the likelyhood of them being rejected per message sent out is probably pretty small. Even if they don't actually meet in the end they will probably get a favourable first response. In fact, due to the disparity of users on the site any woman/couple making the first move, particularly on a single guy, is liable to get a favourable first response not a rejection. So, let the tranny bashing begin ![]() ![]() I actually find that shockingly hard to believe, and im not arse licking cause im after a shag either lol but looking at your pics id say the single guys would have to look long and hard to find a nicer looking woman on fab ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I hate it when couples and single women contact me... also when the gheys do it... and straight men... and TVs. (except Soxy) Makes you feel like you have to do the 'talky' thing with them etc. etc. I come here to wank at lunch times, that is all. ![]() ewwwwww ya mucky pup.............can't you wank and talk at the same time!? hehehe ![]() | |||
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"more than happy to chase single guys ...if they aint interested i move on ...simples ! " Me too. I'm more than happy to approach people I like the look of. If they're not interested I chalk it up to experience and move on ![]() | |||
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"since it seems to be en vouge at the moment to bash single guys... why don't more couples and single women do the chasing and find the ones they want.... as oppose to waiting on it to fall into their laps.... proactive as opposed to being reactive... could it be they fear rejection from the ones they want as much as single guys... so therefore they want to be the rejectors as opposed to the rejected?" I'm never one to bash single guys - hell, they're why this site leads to fun, after all! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I do find it an ego boost to be persued so most of my meets come from guys who have made the first move. But I do sometimes go on the hunt, looking through profiles and meets to see what I find. I don't often send a mail but I do wink. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() and sometimes you slum it with me hehe xx ![]() | |||
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" Unlike NN I brazenly hunt out of my league and am constantly amazed and flattered by my success! ![]() ![]() That can be quite hard lol I have met many guys that when meeting them i've thought, theres no way hes going to like me, but ive put my head on the block and agreed to meet as they have been very good looking and had been suprised as hell when after meeting for a drink they have wanted to play I walk away after sometimes thinking...this sites all fucked up lol ![]() | |||
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"I hate it when couples and single women contact me... also when the gheys do it... and straight men... and TVs. (except Soxy) Makes you feel like you have to do the 'talky' thing with them etc. etc. I come here to wank at lunch times, that is all. ![]() ![]() Ah yes I have heard of this, are you referring to this multi-tasking thing that you ladies are into? No, it's not for me sorry, I do one thing and I do it well. ![]() | |||
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