FabSwingers.com forum: Ladies - etiquette help needed

By *ame-room-no-swap OP Couple
over a year ago

Taunton

At a vanilla party this weekend I was talking to a woman who seem to have no idea of personal space. As she talked to me I could quite distinctly feel her breasts pressing against my arm. I gently retreated slightly, but then she just advanced and assumed the same position, talking to me with her breasts pressed quite firmly against me. Now I’m not complaining at all, but is it possible she was genuinely unaware that she was rubbing her breasts on me? Should I have done anything different?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

She would not have been unaware. I don't think you needed to do anything different, she should have taken you stepping back as a clear indication that you weren't comfortable.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also imagine a man pressing himself against a woman after she'd stepped back...or even before come to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also imagine a man pressing himself against a woman after she'd stepped back...or even before come to that

I must admit, that crossed my mind too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not say in the moment instead of putting up with it and moaning about it afterwards. Not a criticism just don’t understand if something was bothering you then you should just say there and then. I’d have been like this, O love stop rubbing your boobs on my arm is it.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I like your friend OP so I would of snuggled up even closer

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Ummmmmm I do this

Not on purpose but literally because my boobs get to the conversation before I do, once they have backed off I do try to change positions but it's difficult and yes I am 100% straight but not always aware of my personal space Intrusions

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Why not say in the moment instead of putting up with it and moaning about it afterwards. Not a criticism just don’t understand if something was bothering you then you should just say there and then. I’d have been like this, O love stop rubbing your boobs on my arm is it. "

•

I don't think the OP is moaning about it. The OP is simply and informally asking for some advice.

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By *ame-room-no-swap OP Couple
over a year ago

Taunton

I did say quite clearly I wasn't complaining. I just wanted some help from a female perspective, and to know if I was doing anything wrong by quietly enjoying it.

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London

I did say quite clearly I wasn't complaining. I just wanted some help from a female perspective, and to know if I was doing anything wrong by quietly enjoying it."

Perhaps something like this when you do not mind it but when it also is an uncertain situation could be dealt with using gentle humour - something like why, thank you for warming my arm, it is cold today! Or something nice and humourous like that which acknowledges the situation in a funny way and gives a chance to make some kind of response and choice about it for both parties?

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

If a woman im chatting to is standing close enough that her boobs are smacking my arm - if i find her attractive i’ll see if its deliberate and that’s easy to tell from a million different other signals she will be giving off. If it is I may well flirt back and that should make it obvious on both sides. If it’s accidental that would be obvious once you change positions - it shouldn’t keep happening unless the room is jammed and she has no way of avoiding it. It’s quite difficult because if her boobs are that big she may be quite self conscious and the last thing she needs is attention drawn to them. If I was properly uncomfortable I’d make an excuse ( just going to grab a refill) and move away.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

You lucky boy. Assuming it wasn't super crowded She was definately playing a game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hairdresser almosts rests her boobs on me as she works - she is pretty well endowed

- i don't read anything into it

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

You should have squeezed them with both hands and made an old timey car horn sound!

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"My hairdresser almosts rests her boobs on me as she works - she is pretty well endowed

- i don't read anything into it

Can I rest MY boobs on you?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I would have tried to change my body position, as well as the step back. Some really don’t know they are doing it though & might cause offence

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"My hairdresser almosts rests her boobs on me as she works - she is pretty well endowed

- i don't read anything into it

Can I rest MY boobs on you?

You posted that on the wrong post!! You missed mine - but yes Im fine with that!!!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Honestly if I'm wearing a padded bra I can be oblivious to them touching things. She's definitely lacking self awareness though to not notice you had intentionally backed away a bit as boob touching distance does sound pretty close. Especially considering we should all be used to social distancing after the past couple of years.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Honestly, if I'm wearing sturdy scaffolding, especially if it's slightly padded, my boobs are in a separate postcode to the rest of me, and I can't always feel if they're brushing against something (especially after a couple of gins). I'd like to think I would be aware of someone stepping back, but it can be difficult to position sizeable breasticles without fully turning away from someone, which is a bit rude if you're having a conversation.

I tend to make a jokey apology about my boobs being in the way as bloody usual when it happens.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

It can be hard to avoid sometimes. I’ve probably been guilty of it if I haven’t noticed. If it’s noisy and and I’m trying to hear what’s being said to me I’ll naturally come closer as I’m deaf as a post but I’d like to think I’d notice if someone was stepping back. I end up standing at a weird hunchback angle to avoid intruding in someone’s space

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

If you made is obvious you weren’t comfortable and she kept going in pretty sure that falls under sexual harassment/assault. No one would be saying “lucky boy” if the genders were reversed

But she might have just been unaware. I think in situations like these it’s absolutely ok to give them a kind hint after you’ve already moved away first. Make it clear. Anything after that definitely falls into the mentioned categories and you should look to others for help and maybe consider leaving if they don’t want to.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Honestly, if I'm wearing sturdy scaffolding, especially if it's slightly padded, my boobs are in a separate postcode to the rest of me, and I can't always feel if they're brushing against something (especially after a couple of gins). I'd like to think I would be aware of someone stepping back, but it can be difficult to position sizeable breasticles without fully turning away from someone, which is a bit rude if you're having a conversation.

I tend to make a jokey apology about my boobs being in the way as bloody usual when it happens. "
we need to talk

preferably in a crowded room where your boobs have no other route than right at me - in fact….. Dear Santa…..

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By *cloversCouple
over a year ago

Hull

She may not have had any spatial awareness & was genuinely unaware she was that close to you. Many people who are on the autistic spectrum find this an issue for them - even if you create more space they may step into that not realising.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she assumed the same position just because it was busy at the party? and people were jostling people as you do when it’s busy … and so she just stood close again to carry on the conversation with you. So entirely innocent.

OP if she’d hugged you would you have felt awkward? Sometimes they’re just there in the middle minding their own business lol, can’t be helped if they get in the way … it’s just boobs … not like she had them out rubbing them on your arm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to make a jokey apology about my boobs being in the way as bloody usual when it happens. "

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By *ame-room-no-swap OP Couple
over a year ago

Taunton

"Maybe she assumed the same position just because it was busy at the party? and people were jostling people as you do when it’s busy … and so she just stood close again to carry on the conversation with you. So entirely innocent.

No I wouldn't have felt awkward at all. Don't get me wrong, I was secretly loving it to be honest, they were small to medium and she wasn't wearing a bra as I could quite clearly feel the nipples through my shirt.

I just didn't want to have any possibility that someone could accuse me of being 'inappropriate'. She was obviously a bit d*unk, there was plenty of room so I stepped back to be sure that there was no question I was pushing myself onto her. When she advance again I just thought 'sod it, this is quite nice' and carried on the conversation (a very mundane one about financial markets).

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