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Question for gay and bisexual men

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just watching sex education and two of the male characters go to have sec for the first time and both were going for the ‘bottom’ position.

So what happens then if you got into dating or a relationship or even a sex meet, what happens if both of you wanna bottom or both wanna top? How do you work it out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rock Paper Scissors, best of 5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More seriously, I think if I were in that situation, It would depend on how flexible he wanted to be, along with my own level of compromise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching sex education and two of the male characters go to have sec for the first time and both were going for the ‘bottom’ position.

So what happens then if you got into dating or a relationship or even a sex meet, what happens if both of you wanna bottom or both wanna top? How do you work it out?"

Wrestle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You play switch losers has to top for the rest off the night

Winner gets to bottom

Bascule to win you have to make the other tap out on the bottom so they can’t bottom anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching sex education and two of the male characters go to have sec for the first time and both were going for the ‘bottom’ position.

So what happens then if you got into dating or a relationship or even a sex meet, what happens if both of you wanna bottom or both wanna top? How do you work it out?"

Invite third parties in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rock Paper Scissors, best of 5"

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By *akie32Man
over a year ago

winchester

all i can add is that while im bi, im not into anal, giving or recieving, so just cock play really, i dont fancy men, just enjoy cock play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all "

This ^^^^

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london


"Just watching sex education and two of the male characters go to have sec for the first time and both were going for the ‘bottom’ position.

So what happens then if you got into dating or a relationship or even a sex meet, what happens if both of you wanna bottom or both wanna top? How do you work it out?"

Perhaps.... a duel? Depending on the positioning, either a sword fight(or maybe Jousting), or bottom butting (imagine males rams headbutting but rather battering with their botties).

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all "

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Just watching sex education and two of the male characters go to have sec for the first time and both were going for the ‘bottom’ position.

So what happens then if you got into dating or a relationship or even a sex meet, what happens if both of you wanna bottom or both wanna top? How do you work it out?"

Like anything

Communication

Not that hard

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Usually I ask before a meet has been arranged, that way this doesnt happen. Or it gives an idea what is expected during the meeting.

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By *sylockeWoman
over a year ago

East Anglia

Don’t think this is exclusive to just gay couples.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration "

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman. "

This is how the legal and justice system views/viewed sex too.

The vast majority of people think the same too; sex is only sex if penetration occurs

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman. "

That’s going to seriously mess up those ‘Am I Bi’ threads, when some guy wants to know if sucking a cock now makes him bisexual.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Just watching sex education and two of the male characters go to have sec for the first time and both were going for the ‘bottom’ position.

So what happens then if you got into dating or a relationship or even a sex meet, what happens if both of you wanna bottom or both wanna top? How do you work it out?"

It depends on how set you both are.

In my experience I’ve had guys that I got on great with but it didn’t go further because we both were uncomfortable switching.

This is why it’s important to communicate and be clear about what you both want from fairly early on. In the situation on the programme, it’s just communication and clarity

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman.

That’s going to seriously mess up those ‘Am I Bi’ threads, when some guy wants to know if sucking a cock now makes him bisexual. "

*spoiler*

No it doesn’t now make him bisexual, he always was

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman.

This is how the legal and justice system views/viewed sex too.

The vast majority of people think the same too; sex is only sex if penetration occurs"

I think that's very true but perhaps they don't change it because changing it to something like "sexual act" can leave things very open to interpretation. But then by putting it in a box (no pun intended) then like Lacey said, women and men (to an extent) don't have sex with each other. Not sure what the wider implications of that is though.

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Don’t they just toss for it ?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman.

This is how the legal and justice system views/viewed sex too.

The vast majority of people think the same too; sex is only sex if penetration occurs

I think that's very true but perhaps they don't change it because changing it to something like "sexual act" can leave things very open to interpretation. But then by putting it in a box (no pun intended) then like Lacey said, women and men (to an extent) don't have sex with each other. Not sure what the wider implications of that is though. "

It’s a very sexist attitude, it implies that only men can have sex.

I see what you’re saying, it does bring into question ‘what constitutes sex?’

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman.

This is how the legal and justice system views/viewed sex too.

The vast majority of people think the same too; sex is only sex if penetration occurs

I think that's very true but perhaps they don't change it because changing it to something like "sexual act" can leave things very open to interpretation. But then by putting it in a box (no pun intended) then like Lacey said, women and men (to an extent) don't have sex with each other. Not sure what the wider implications of that is though.

It’s a very sexist attitude, it implies that only men can have sex.

I see what you’re saying, it does bring into question ‘what constitutes sex?’ "

Ahhh you're right, seems the law definitely needs broadening and they need to determine what that line it. I wonder how women feel about "technically not having sex" unless a man is involved or maybe I'm reading too much into it

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells


"Usually I ask before a meet has been arranged, that way this doesnt happen. Or it gives an idea what is expected during the meeting."

This, I make sure the guy knows if he's meeting me that he's the one doing the fucking and I'm the one doing the sucking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman.

This is how the legal and justice system views/viewed sex too.

The vast majority of people think the same too; sex is only sex if penetration occurs

I think that's very true but perhaps they don't change it because changing it to something like "sexual act" can leave things very open to interpretation. But then by putting it in a box (no pun intended) then like Lacey said, women and men (to an extent) don't have sex with each other. Not sure what the wider implications of that is though.

It’s a very sexist attitude, it implies that only men can have sex.

I see what you’re saying, it does bring into question ‘what constitutes sex?’

Ahhh you're right, seems the law definitely needs broadening and they need to determine what that line it. I wonder how women feel about "technically not having sex" unless a man is involved or maybe I'm reading too much into it "

The criminal law doesn't specifically define sex. It does however have offences dealing with both penetrative and non penetrative sexual touching.

Additionally, R#pe can be vaginal, anal or oral, so the criminal law has it mostly covered

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman.

This is how the legal and justice system views/viewed sex too.

The vast majority of people think the same too; sex is only sex if penetration occurs

I think that's very true but perhaps they don't change it because changing it to something like "sexual act" can leave things very open to interpretation. But then by putting it in a box (no pun intended) then like Lacey said, women and men (to an extent) don't have sex with each other. Not sure what the wider implications of that is though.

It’s a very sexist attitude, it implies that only men can have sex.

I see what you’re saying, it does bring into question ‘what constitutes sex?’

Ahhh you're right, seems the law definitely needs broadening and they need to determine what that line it. I wonder how women feel about "technically not having sex" unless a man is involved or maybe I'm reading too much into it "

If memory serves, there was a thread about it fairly recently.

I’m not sure how that question would go down with our lesbian friends though…

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman.

This is how the legal and justice system views/viewed sex too.

The vast majority of people think the same too; sex is only sex if penetration occurs

I think that's very true but perhaps they don't change it because changing it to something like "sexual act" can leave things very open to interpretation. But then by putting it in a box (no pun intended) then like Lacey said, women and men (to an extent) don't have sex with each other. Not sure what the wider implications of that is though.

It’s a very sexist attitude, it implies that only men can have sex.

I see what you’re saying, it does bring into question ‘what constitutes sex?’

Ahhh you're right, seems the law definitely needs broadening and they need to determine what that line it. I wonder how women feel about "technically not having sex" unless a man is involved or maybe I'm reading too much into it

The criminal law doesn't specifically define sex. It does however have offences dealing with both penetrative and non penetrative sexual touching.

Additionally, R#pe can be vaginal, anal or oral, so the criminal law has it mostly covered "

Assault is covered, however there are huge gaping holes (ahem) regarding consensual sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration

I also have gay friends who don't have penetrative sex. I guess just like heterosexual couples, not everyone enjoys anal sex. This is something I've always struggled with with heteros as they don't consider things like oral sex to be "proper sex". Therefore I have friends who don't count people they only had non-penetrative sex with in the number of people they have had sex with. If I use the same logic, I've never had sex with another woman.

This is how the legal and justice system views/viewed sex too.

The vast majority of people think the same too; sex is only sex if penetration occurs

I think that's very true but perhaps they don't change it because changing it to something like "sexual act" can leave things very open to interpretation. But then by putting it in a box (no pun intended) then like Lacey said, women and men (to an extent) don't have sex with each other. Not sure what the wider implications of that is though.

It’s a very sexist attitude, it implies that only men can have sex.

I see what you’re saying, it does bring into question ‘what constitutes sex?’

Ahhh you're right, seems the law definitely needs broadening and they need to determine what that line it. I wonder how women feel about "technically not having sex" unless a man is involved or maybe I'm reading too much into it

The criminal law doesn't specifically define sex. It does however have offences dealing with both penetrative and non penetrative sexual touching.

Additionally, R#pe can be vaginal, anal or oral, so the criminal law has it mostly covered

Assault is covered, however there are huge gaping holes (ahem) regarding consensual sex"

I don't follow... if its consensual, where does the law need to get involved?

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By *anther81Man
over a year ago

Drogheda

Ask before the meet what you into etc.

I’m bottom with guys don’t think I could fuck a guy unless he was quite fem. Different people like different things.

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By *icence_2_Thrill_006.9Man
over a year ago

Sussex Bi The Sea

I’m versatile and normally we have a idea before we meet but I just go with the flow most times. I’m my experience with couples the lady usually likes to watch the men play with each other and 80% of the time I’m asked to fuck the guy

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all "

Not sure they are gay then?

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By *ames_smith86Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

In my experience two bottoms can have a lot of fun together..!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

Not sure they are gay then?

"

You don't have to have anal sex or any form of sex whatsoever to be gay. You can be celibate, a virgin, or only ever have slept with women all your life and still be gay.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

Not sure they are gay then?

You don't have to have anal sex or any form of sex whatsoever to be gay. You can be celibate, a virgin, or only ever have slept with women all your life and still be gay."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has anyone heard the phrase two bottoms don’t make a top?

Cracks me up everytime I hear that from my gay friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"all i can add is that while im bi, im not into anal, giving or recieving, so just cock play really, i dont fancy men, just enjoy cock play"

I'm the same. Plenty of sexual pleasure can be had without anal

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By *iscreetMan_UKMan
over a year ago

nearby


"Just watching sex education and two of the male characters go to have sec for the first time and both were going for the ‘bottom’ position.

So what happens then if you got into dating or a relationship or even a sex meet, what happens if both of you wanna bottom or both wanna top? How do you work it out?"

Gay sex doesn’t have to be penetrative.

I know a number of gay people who just aren’t into it. There’s a lot you can do to be sexually active without fucking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally new to me..what's top and bottom?

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By *iscreetMan_UKMan
over a year ago

nearby


"Seriously though, I know a lot of gay couples who don't have penetrative sex at all

That's really interesting. Hope this doesn't sound too close minded but I always thought some form of penetrative sex was involved between bi or gay couples. Kind of furthers the narrative that sex isn't all about penetration "

The are definitely some people who must have penetrative sex. And those people are normally very clear that they need/want that.

When it comes to relationships, the emotions take over the sex and so you can get sexual fulfilment with the person you love without having to penetrate.

A lot of even casual gay encounters are just wanks and sucks.

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By *arex2Couple
over a year ago

Bradford

Double dildo??

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By *oodford guyMan
over a year ago

Spain

Many (not all) gay guys have open relationships so options for having your needs met. And there is always the option of threesomes too.. but it’s not for everyone

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham


"You play switch losers has to top for the rest off the night

Winner gets to bottom

Bascule to win you have to make the other tap out on the bottom so they can’t bottom anymore "

Similar but I would opt for twister rather than switch…

Or chess! I am fairly handy at chess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

If you arranging a meet from here, you find out what is expected before actually meeting them.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

Question for women who like anal.

Your partner wants to bang your pussy, but you love anal.

What do you do!

Actually it’s a silly question as in real life I’m sure most couples try to please each other and if there is any conflict of choice you’d take it in turns.

Gbat

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh

I was in that situation myself and as he would not budge on it,i just gave him oral and left. We didn't meet again but still chat whenever we can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Highest card wins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Discuss before you meet what preferences you have. I like to be the bottom and a good top is hard to find on here as all men seme to want to bottom.

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