FabSwingers.com forum: A nice way to say no?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *.R.MMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

Just be honest, tell them they’re not your type

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"So you're happily chatting to someone on here. They seem normal, and fairly pleasant and you decide to swap face pics. If they really don't do anything for you at all, how do you then tell them there's no point in continuing to talk?

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"

No idea. I think this is an issue many of us have. I often take the cowards way out and don’t reply!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Honestly that pic was of my dad. My mistake..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A really tough one that . The recipients on here should take it with a pinch of salt and not be offended . One person (s) no likey can be another’s likey . But it’s prob shite to read anyway the rejection mail . Hand over eyes moment lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

Honesty is a big thing. Ive been on the receiving end after getting on well with someone. Facepic exchanged,she said I wasn’t her type.no issues at all,I said no worries. Still chat as we get on well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Theres never an easy way to tell someone that you don't find them attractive, but it can be better all round than just ghosting or ignoring them.

The best thing you can do is to swap face pics early on so you can avoid wasting your time and theirs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd prefer you just to say we're not your type rather ths than ignore. (I know it's up to people how they do it).

If we send a face pic we often say "don't worry if we're not your type" and it often follows with a no thank (not the alternative

)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"

too shallow ? erm no you know what you like stick to it i wont move the goal post for no one i alway say it in a straight forward honest way a simple no thanks its their problem if they cant handle that ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Thank you for taking the time to converse and for sending your photo. I regret that on this occasion i do not wish to take things further. I wish you all the best with your fabbing

And if you get the usual “why?”

Quite bricktop!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quote (not quite)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/11/21 16:49:08]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are nice/friendly but you aren't my type/what I'm looking for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always better to be truthful!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Thank you for your message, I want to say we are not compatible and I wish you luck for the future

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Very difficult I find these situations very cringy! I usually try find another reason 2 far or gonna stick with an old fwb anything other than I'm not attracted to them x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve said “you’re not my type before” and not had any issues

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Just say it's been lovely chatting and getting to know you but there has to be a physical attraction for me and unfortunately it isn't there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *.R.MMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

I’ve got an ear worm now!

Just say no - Grange Hill cast

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

We both look at the pictures and then let the other couple know that we didn't get a spark but, if they see us in a club, to feel free and say hello. We do that because sometimes people really take poor pictures and the in person thing works for them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that. "

Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Your not my type sorry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would much rather somone told me straight up. Saying that i am a bit of hypocrite in that regard as i have spoken to people without face pics then been like "im not really into them" once they have sent one and just stopped replying, i do feel a little bit of a prick though

But i have face pictures and stuff up anyway. So i would be a tad upset if we spoke for awhile then they said that lol!

I quite dislike the Meta of this site with the no reply thing personally. Even tho i admit i do do it myself but do try make an effort for a well thought out message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Just say no, sometimes sugar coating it leaves a glimmer of hope, it’s better to be honest than leave something open to interpretation x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"

Never converse with someone with a view to meeting without seeing a face pic first.

My reply would be

"thank you so much for sharing your face picture with me, I really appreciate it but I don't want to take this any further".

If they turn into a fuckwit, block.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had:

You’re not my type

It’s not for me/us

Not really interested etc

I’ve had these after being asked for a face pic without me messaging first. Could easily get annoyed, if I was a fool, but they all get a No problem, hope you find the right thing soon, and we part ways happy that kindness and politeness are free and still exist.

No need to explain why, just state what.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.

Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down

Lighten up! It's a fucking joke

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I go offline for two weeks and hope they go away.

I’m a cowardly cowardly custard

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Just say not for me xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I go offline for two weeks and hope they go away.

I’m a cowardly cowardly custard "

Not Angel's delight?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"I go offline for two weeks and hope they go away.

I’m a cowardly cowardly custard

Not Angel's delight?

I don’t seem to attract angels, I’m not sure why?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I leave it to her ladyship to deal with - its her that doesn't like the guy far more often than the other way around

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they've sent a face pic then you have to shag them. It's a swingers site - they are doing you a favour by offering sex. Swingers shrivel up and die if they don't have lots of sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I talk to lots of people I don’t fancy, so I don’t see any problems.

Am I finding this website too simple or something?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

"I leave it to her ladyship to deal with - its her that doesn't like the guy far more often than the other way around

Mr"

Very true!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *drian HardthrobMan
over a year ago

Worcester

It's a no for now but maybe some other time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My calendar is pretty full for the foreseeable future, sorry.

That's nice of you but I'm not looking for new friends. All the best.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I go offline for two weeks and hope they go away.

I’m a cowardly cowardly custard "

Aaaaaah, I wondered where you went to. Noted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I go offline for two weeks and hope they go away.

I’m a cowardly cowardly custard

Not Angel's delight?

I don’t seem to attract angels, I’m not sure why? "

They fallen through gaps.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say "sorry but there's no attraction for me. Happy fabbing".

Tbh most guys send a face pic with their first message which makes the choice easier for both of us.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

A simple "you're not for me but I hope you find what you're looking for on here" has always worked in the past...I've never had a nasty reply to that. I do have on my profile though that facial attraction is important to me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I don't think I've been in that situation (if I'm attracted to someone via messages it would have to be a hell of a face pic that put me off!), but I've been asked for a face pic and then been rejected on that basis.

Mostly it's along the lines of "it's been fun chatting but you're not my type", sometimes just a straight block. I'd rather have a message back but it's no big deal either way, a no is a no however it's expressed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him you’re not sure you could handle a cock that big…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just say no"

Didn't work for Zammo though did it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.

Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down

Lighten up! It's a fucking joke "

It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve said it before sorry your not my type but happy to keep chatting but only as friends. I’ve also had that from a social before and really good friends with the guy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry you're too ugly for me, next!

Honesty is the best policy they always say

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.

Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down

Lighten up! It's a fucking joke

It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that "

Humor is subjective.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always say aww yeah you’re handsome but I’m not meeting anyone at the moment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course I'd appreciate a message back to be honest if wasn't their type, but if I send one and they don't reply then I take that as a cue that they're not interested.

I would just be upfront with them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.

Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down

Lighten up! It's a fucking joke

It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that

Humor is subjective. "

Yeh a stranger might not like that mate.

Poor fucker has blue balls and your throwing joke's at him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *chooloffilthWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no..."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

""Yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no..."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.

Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down

Lighten up! It's a fucking joke

It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that

Humor is subjective. "

Exactly!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.

Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down

Lighten up! It's a fucking joke

It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that

Humor is subjective.

Yeh a stranger might not like that mate.

Poor fucker has blue balls and your throwing joke's at him

The joke was the suggestion that you send that reply, not that you send the reply as a joke

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.

Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down

Lighten up! It's a fucking joke

It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that

Humor is subjective.

Yeh a stranger might not like that mate.

Poor fucker has blue balls and your throwing joke's at him

The joke was the suggestion that you send that reply, not that you send the reply as a joke

Mr"

Ffs. The mind boggles. Can’t believe that anyone took that seriously enough to have a go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Could be brutal and make a joke? Such as.

Wow! I envy you, bet you don't have to worry about birth control with a face like that.

Yea try this next time someone asks you and see how that goes down

Lighten up! It's a fucking joke

It’s not a funny joke though, and you never know how a stranger will take a ‘joke’ like that

Humor is subjective.

Yeh a stranger might not like that mate.

Poor fucker has blue balls and your throwing joke's at him

The joke was the suggestion that you send that reply, not that you send the reply as a joke

Ffs. The mind boggles. Can’t believe that anyone took that seriously enough to have a go.

I really wasn't trying to start an argument but add a little humor! (Yes know my humor is dark)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

A simple no you ain't my type! You can't please everyone in life. x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Fulwood

Thanks for the pic - im happy to chat but not looking to meet x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the pic - im happy to chat but not looking to meet x"

The OP’s brief was to politely kill it off, not to encourage further dialogue.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Nein, danke! (said in an efficient German accent)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Thanks for the pic - im happy to chat but not looking to meet x"

•

This is one of the more diplomatic responses.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

This is why we get photos out of the way, very first thing, if possible, unless it's somebody we like just because we like them even if nothing sexual happens between us. We just avoid getting into the situation you describe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxyFemme72Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Chatted, swapped face pics, met socially and THEN realised there was so spark while they spoke at me about their ex.

I had to say face to face that there was nothing sexual. I think I may have been too honest when I said he reminded me of Timmy Mallet. Sorry Simon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

It would look worse if you continue chatting and then said no even later. The simple solution is to say no thanks immediately after you have swap photos. You not going to meet them so why worry too much about what they think, sounds harsh but that is the reality.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be honest and say I'm really sorry but I'm looking for something a little different but thank you anyway.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"

Tell them they're the spitting image of your dad or grandad.. and it would be to weird.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he MuffinmanMan
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"

I would rather be told honestly than just stop chatting. I like to know where I stand so just being told I’m not their type is better I feel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block them for 2 weeks, then unblock them.

If they get back in touch again explain that you are not sure how that happened and you apologise for that. But unfortunately as it stands now you are currently unavailable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???"

So it depends. If you are chatting to someone purely as a potential risk fuck and looks are critical you should make that clear abs get it out out the way straight away. The longer you leave it the harder it is and the colder it feels especially if you were getting on.

Tbh there’s people here I’ve chatted/chatting to and what they look like would make no difference , I want to know them and meet them. Others they need to be attractive to me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Tell them they're the spitting image of your dad or grandad.. and it would be to weird."

I like this except I'm now imagining some poor fabbers getting told every day that they look like peoples dads mums, brothers, sisters etc and wondering why they're suddenly some kind of universal lookalike

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've sent a face pic then you have to shag them. It's a swingers site - they are doing you a favour by offering sex. Swingers shrivel up and die if they don't have lots of sex.

Also.. Can't they wear a paper bag??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Fulwood

"Thanks for the pic - im happy to chat but not looking to meet x

The OP’s brief was to politely kill it off, not to encourage further dialogue.

"
Id guess it would have the same effect - they don’t want to chat - but I take the point - just thank them for the pic and say sorry but you’re not my type - happy swinging and good luck! If they get arsey after that - block

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Fulwood

"If they've sent a face pic then you have to shag them. It's a swingers site - they are doing you a favour by offering sex. Swingers shrivel up and die if they don't have lots of sex.

Also.. Can't they wear a paper bag??"
highlight the positive ? Awesome cock - just your face isn’t what id hoped for?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they've sent a face pic then you have to shag them. It's a swingers site - they are doing you a favour by offering sex. Swingers shrivel up and die if they don't have lots of sex.

Also.. Can't they wear a paper bag??"

Exactly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, if there is zero attraction, then its a non-starter really, isn't it? Or perhaps I'm too shallow

But how do you do that without coming across as a right c*nt???

Tell them they're the spitting image of your dad or grandad.. and it would be to weird."

I've said this before. He thought it was a green light....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread