FabSwingers.com forum: Rant

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I sent a message to someone and they said no thank you.

I politely asked why not, just for feedback, kinda pike if you're not successful when applying for a job.

To see if there is anything I could say or do to possibly change, for future reference.

Kept getting simple replies such as, I just don't.

That doesn't a swer my question now does it?

Why can't people just answer a straight forward question?

Happily accept answers such as live too far away, don't find you attractive, age or whatever

But to simply say, just don't... Thanks for nothing

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Its their choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never ask "Why not?".

Just move on mate.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

If we get a leaflet through the door from our local pizza take away I just throw it away. I don’t write to them to tell them why I don’t want their pizza.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its their choice "

Which I totally understand. But to just say "I just don't" when I have politely asked why not?

As I said, if they say I'm not attractive or whatever, then fair enough. But given no reason?

End of the day, I don't actually care, just like a little feedback

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Its their choice

Which I totally understand. But to just say "I just don't" when I have politely asked why not?

As I said, if they say I'm not attractive or whatever, then fair enough. But given no reason?

End of the day, I don't actually care, just like a little feedback"

Some people are like that just ignore xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha"

They were probably pissed off that you kept askimg for a reason.

So now you know the reason what are you going to do about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many times did you ask them?

Not sure what feedback you are hoping for. If they didn't find you attractive, you can't change that. And that doesn't mean someone else won't.

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha"

Mate your better off not wanting to know the reason you get knocked back.

It’s never going to be nice like your gorgeous and sound lovely but I’m simply not going to meet you.

The awful reply you just got is what is expected unfortunately.

Just move on my good man

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Kept getting simple replies such as, I just don't"

Sounds like you were pestering them, expect to be blocked for that . No one owes you any explanation for why they don’t want to chat or meet , get over it.

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

If we say 'no thanks' to someone, and they ask 'why not?' it can feel like they can't believe someone has dared to turn them down. Not that they're simply trying to find out the reason why. That could be why they replied like they did. At least they replied in the first instance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha"

You’re a very average looking single guy with a very uninspired profile who is trawling a hook up site hoping to get laid.

The asking a question of why not has just added to the projected image of total desperation which won’t exactly be promoting you in a good way……. I’d think you got the exact response you so where begging for.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

This thread again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we say 'no thanks' to someone, and they ask 'why not?' it can feel like they can't believe someone has dared to turn them down. Not that they're simply trying to find out the reason why. That could be why they replied like they did. At least they replied in the first instance. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha

You’re a very average looking single guy with a very uninspired profile who is trawling a hook up site hoping to get laid.

How is my profile uninspired? How may it be improved?

How am I trawling a hook up site in desperation to getting laid?

How is asking a very simple question, in a polite way, in any way desperate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread again "

And again, and again....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They should of just blocked you.

The comment they made was unnecessary.

If your going to say something like that to someone and then block them before they can reply is abit cowardly.

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By *ver the hill for fabMan
over a year ago

LONDON

Some people just don't want to meet they get a buzz out of people sending them messages and pics and dirty chat of what you would like to do to them if they don't want to know up to them move on to the next one

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

Don’t be the dick that asks why. It gets my back up if I end up with messages after saying no or I’ve deleted the message. My inbox can go crazy, it’s not down to me to coach you on fab, find your own way or use the forums. This is why I love the block button because so many guys think they’re owed a response constantly

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Maybe in the first instance they didn’t find you attractive and didn’t feel comfortable saying as much because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings. It’s not something I’d feel able to say to anybody either. Then by pushing them further out of their comfort zone they snapped and sent the rely they did. I think it’s best just to accept initial responses and move on

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

*reply, not rely

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By *ouise73Woman
over a year ago

Norwich

Why do men need to know why?

I've had several men question it. It feels like they/you are very pushy and desperate.

Women get 100s of messages and Alot of men don't like no for an answer.

First message usually is.

I wanna fuck you. Or sit on this.

Yes it's a swingers site but treat women with respect if the answer is no then move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do men need to know why?

I've had several men question it. It feels like they/you are very pushy and desperate.

Women get 100s of messages and Alot of men don't like no for an answer.

First message usually is.

I wanna fuck you. Or sit on this.

Yes it's a swingers site but treat women with respect if the answer is no then move on. "

And if he did treat them with respect and was courteous does he still deserve the reply he got?

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By *ver the hill for fabMan
over a year ago

LONDON

You don't ask why just thank them for the reply and have a great day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not much point in ranting about it, it’s safer to assume that if someone says no thanks thanks, you’re not what they’re looking for, and just move on.

How does an inbox full of ‘we don’t find you attractive’ or such like, improve your fab experience?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are not owed a reason, or feedback of any kind for that matter. This isn’t a job application or a school report, it is about sex. Constantly asking “why, why” intrudes on somebody’s own sexuality and asks them to justify the stirring in their loins.

In real life, women dread the guy who pesters them round a bar saying “Why? I’m nice. Give me a reason.” Exactly the same applies here.

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

Why would you ask even adk fella? My pride wouldn't allow that. Move on,, in my eyes that's pestering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They aren't attracted to you... They don't want to say that as alot of people take that the wtong way and sometimes get abusive... Personally I wouldn't have replied again but don't get pissy and don't ask why.. Attraction is why!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The rude response from them was unnecessary. But honestly once I've replied to someone - I do not want to get into why I said no. It often leads to them arguing with me and extends a conversation I never even wanted.

Just stop asking.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

That's harsh to call someone ugly! Says more about them i'd say. However no one is entitled to anything! Move on plenty more fish in the sea. Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you were unhappy when they said no thanks but didn't tell you why !

Then you were unhappy when they did tell you why !

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I am here to have fun and adventures not fix people's profiles, imagine 100 people all asking that same question, I fab to live not live to fab

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I never give reasons and I wouldn’t ask for them either. No thanks not for me is sufficient.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you were unhappy when they said no thanks but didn't tell you why !

Then you were unhappy when they did tell you why !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People think they want to know why but they really don't. Mind boggling how people don't understand we can't be everyone's cup of tea, it's a shag not the love of your life declining your marriage proposal.

Put on your big boy pants and move on, plenty more fish in the fab sea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really, really gets my back up when guys ask “why not”.

It usually leads to a brutally honest response from me.

Well, you asked!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is exactly why I don’t respond to people I’m not interested in.

I found a polite thanks but no thanks leads to numerous questions.. I’m not into critiquing people.. they just don’t capture my eye..

But their response was unkind, however you sending them numerous messages was out of order & pestering them, it would have annoyed me.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Their final response wasn’t nice but it sounds like you asked a few times, so out of frustration you got the final response.

This is why I don’t even respond to individuals anymore with a sorry but no. I don’t have to give a reason why and don’t want to get drawn into an unnecessary conversation, which normally ends up getting abusive because you said no to them.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"People think they want to know why but they really don't. Mind boggling how people don't understand we can't be everyone's cup of tea, it's a shag not the love of your life declining your marriage proposal.

Put on your big boy pants and move on, plenty more fish in the fab sea."
Hilarious! So true it's a shag not a wedding proposal. Talking of cup of tea! Time to make one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good rant

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I sent a message to someone and they said no thank you.

I politely asked why not, just for feedback, kinda pike if you're not successful when applying for a job.

To see if there is anything I could say or do to possibly change, for future reference.

Kept getting simple replies such as, I just don't.

That doesn't a swer my question now does it?

Why can't people just answer a straight forward question?

Happily accept answers such as live too far away, don't find you attractive, age or whatever

But to simply say, just don't... Thanks for nothing"

This isn't a job interview, they don't owe you an evaluation of anything. This is why a lot of people reply then block the sender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How is my profile uninspired? How may it be improved?

How am I trawling a hook up site in desperation to getting laid?

How is asking a very simple question, in a polite way, in any way desperate?"

By having a profile bio that is made up of bullet points doesn’t exactly have a personal feel, it looks cold and uninspired.

By definition, any single man on this site will have to really put in the work to get anything else in return, you’re just an insignificant blip in a sea of thousands.

Even if you looked like an Adonis you still need to have some substance to back it up and move things along.

Nothing in your profile makes you any more unique or attractive than any other desperate male that is prowling the site.

Begging or in your case, pleading for a response is not exactly a good look, it’s never going to make a woman who is undoubtedly inundated with messages from single blokes who can appear to string a sentence together as well as bottom feeders that send a “fancy a fuck tonight” messages with an attached photo of their dick……

If you tried to chat someone up in a bar by pulling your cock out and proclaiming that its the greatest cock in the world you would get a good response.

If you keep harassing a profile on here then you should also expect to be blocked…… you’re lucky that they took the time to call you an ugly cunt!

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By *ovebjsMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Maybe just maybe they did not want to engage in a conversation?

So it starts off are you interested, answer no, reply why not, because we don’t, but why ? In and in and on.

Easier just to accept the not interested

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"I sent a message to someone and they said no thank you.

I politely asked why not, just for feedback, kinda pike if you're not successful when applying for a job.

To see if there is anything I could say or do to possibly change, for future reference.

Kept getting simple replies such as, I just don't.

That doesn't a swer my question now does it?

Why can't people just answer a straight forward question?

Happily accept answers such as live too far away, don't find you attractive, age or whatever

But to simply say, just don't... Thanks for nothing"

I don't think it was an unreasonable question, and if they didn't like receiving your question they could have simply deleted it and blocked you.

A no thanks, is I would guess 80 - 90% of the time, due to them not finding an attraction, and if your profile is the very best that you can make it, then not much point in asking the question, as there's nothing you can change or improve upon.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I would block you if you stating asking why if I said I wasn’t interested. This is why I don’t reply any more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Why can't people just answer a straight forward question?”

Because they don’t want to!

What use is someone telling you their exact reason is going to help?

If someone doesn’t want to meet just respect that and move on…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sent a message to someone and they said no thank you.

I politely asked why not, just for feedback, kinda pike if you're not successful when applying for a job.

To see if there is anything I could say or do to possibly change, for future reference.

Kept getting simple replies such as, I just don't.

That doesn't a swer my question now does it?

Why can't people just answer a straight forward question?

Happily accept answers such as live too far away, don't find you attractive, age or whatever

But to simply say, just don't... Thanks for nothing"

Thanks for nothing???

You aren't OWED an explanation.

You sent an unrequested message, you got a reply they may not have been to your liking, but you still got one, and then you continued to ask for their reasons for saying no thank you.

And you think you've been treated badly ...

People like you are the reason I don't reply.

Youre not entitled to anything sunshine, none of us are on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Their final response wasn’t nice but it sounds like you asked a few times, so out of frustration you got the final response.

Why

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Nothing personal, OP, but asking ‘why not’ (even just once) seems a little desperate.

Asking more than once seems even more desperate and I’m not surprised you got the angry response. I’d almost go as far as to say it displays a slightly controlling nature.

And to continue it on here (maybe because now the person has blocked you, you’re hoping they’ll see this thread and realise how wonderful you are?) will surely prove to be counter-productive.

If you get a polite ‘no thanks’ just move on!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Their final response wasn’t nice but it sounds like you asked a few times, so out of frustration you got the final response.

Why

Are you stamping feet too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am here to have fun and adventures not fix people's profiles, imagine 100 people all asking that same question, I fab to live not live to fab"

100% this

NBVN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Appreciate that you got a reply in the first place. Don’t ever then send another message asking why not. It just makes that person have to spend even more time answering someone they’re not interested in. Time that could have been spent answering someone else’s message.

Also the last message they sent even though it was horrible it was because you pissed that person off with your nagging.

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Women and couples get 100s of messages everyday imagine avin 2 explain why 2 every message. They get messages of guys who don't even fit wot they are looking 4 ie age .body type ...even if ur in that age body type they may not b attracted 2 u ...there are lots of lovely people on here ..just except it if u get a no thank u ...x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/11/21 09:10:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s the sort of thing I used to do after job interviews, can’t recall ever doing it after being politely told thanks but no thanks on Fab (I know, I know, it’s hard to believe I could ever get a knock back!

)

Imagine having to provide a full rationale for every thirsty chap you turn down .. it would be a never ending job! Move on fella!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Women and couples get 100s of messages everyday imagine avin 2 explain why 2 every message. They get messages of guys who don't even fit wot they are looking 4 ie age .body type ...even if ur in that age body type they may not b attracted 2 u ...there are lots of lovely people on here ..just except it if u get a no thank u ...x "

No we don't. All the same if I'm not interested im just not interested. No further explanation needed.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

This is why many choose not to reply op, because of the why nots afterwards.

People tend to know what they do/don't like, if you're messaging people miles away or out of their preferences then that wont help.

If you're struggling here, try going to a club or an organised social.

Miss

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

If I said I'm not attracted to you would you ask why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha

You’re a very average looking single guy with a very uninspired profile who is trawling a hook up site hoping to get laid.

How is my profile uninspired? How may it be improved?

How am I trawling a hook up site in desperation to getting laid?

How is asking a very simple question, in a polite way, in any way desperate?"

Hook up site? Maybe therein lies your problem...change your thinking and your approach.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha

You’re a very average looking single guy with a very uninspired profile who is trawling a hook up site hoping to get laid.

How is my profile uninspired? How may it be improved?

How am I trawling a hook up site in desperation to getting laid?

How is asking a very simple question, in a polite way, in any way desperate?

Hook up site? Maybe therein lies your problem...change your thinking and your approach. "

It wasn't him who called it a hook up site.

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By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha

You’re a very average looking single guy with a very uninspired profile who is trawling a hook up site hoping to get laid.

How is my profile uninspired? How may it be improved?

How am I trawling a hook up site in desperation to getting laid?

How is asking a very simple question, in a polite way, in any way desperate?"

Write a bit about yourself add some personality, or even self deprecation.

It's not a hook up site, change your thinking if you want hook ups get on tinder.

It's desperate as you are asking not for genuine feedback I suspect but looking for validation and a chance to change their minds.

Nobody owes you a damn thing, if your profile and attitude of hook up is anything to go by I imagine your messages don't have much substance either.

Feel free to be offended by my comments, don't care.

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By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha

You’re a very average looking single guy with a very uninspired profile who is trawling a hook up site hoping to get laid.

Not a hook up site.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha

You’re a very average looking single guy with a very uninspired profile who is trawling a hook up site hoping to get laid.

Not a hook up site. "

You seem offended by people's comments lol

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By *drian HardthrobMan
over a year ago

Worcester

No means no and it isn't a job application, should've of just replied with "no worries" otherwise you'll just come across as someone who can't take no for an answer

just common sense ain't it!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sent a message to someone and they said no thank you.

I politely asked why not, just for feedback, kinda pike if you're not successful when applying for a job.

To see if there is anything I could say or do to possibly change, for future reference.

Kept getting simple replies such as, I just don't.

That doesn't a swer my question now does it?

Why can't people just answer a straight forward question?

Happily accept answers such as live too far away, don't find you attractive, age or whatever

But to simply say, just don't... Thanks for nothing"

My question is why do you need to know? We all have different reasons and some people look for very specific things in fab.

By asking why and expecting a reason you are projecting your own insecurities onto them which generated a response you didn’t like.

This all sounds to me that you are desperate to please someone else and that you would change certain aspects about yourself to suit which for me isn’t an attractive trait.

I’m sorry if this comes across harshly but the turn is they aren’t interested, told you that they weren’t and that should be the end of it not more messages and a rant thread created from it.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

In truth, what would specifics achieve?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They gave you they answer no thanks blanking it and continue on make you seem very pushy and they the person no thanks wasn’t good anuff if it was me I would have Swiftly kicked you to my block list for being pushy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hope the last few, who mentioned the words "hook up site" are aware that I'm not the one that described this site using those words. Someone else did

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By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"They finally replied. Their exact words were "because you're an ugly cunt". Then blocked me.

Nice choice of words haha

You’re a very average looking single guy with a very uninspired profile who is trawling a hook up site hoping to get laid.

Not a hook up site.

You seem offended by people's comments lol "

Nope just quite direct and have little time for BS.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's probably your sense of entitlement OP

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By *he_Wite_NiteMan
over a year ago

Usually Dundee and around

You sense of entitlement probably put them off!

And sometimes you just get a feeling...

No one asks "why" on a swipe left/right site...

And if you want feedback on your profile. Post a forum thread asking for feedback.

And now looking at this thread you have had plenty of feedback, the hard part is taking it on board!

Happy Fabbing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why some of us hide our profiles for a while.

Don’t ask why.

Ever.

Don’t hound people for responses. It’s disrespectful.

Take responsibility for why you need an answer. Is it lack of confidence? Is it that you need reassurance? How can you improve your self worth do you think? Don’t blame others for your own needs.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Quite a few guys complain about not getting replies. Here's you complaining you don't get some kind of analysis which would be helpful to you. People are not here for you. They are here for themselves and for the people they like.

If somebody is not attracted to you, you are not owed an analysis. You should just accept it and move on.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"If we get a leaflet through the door from our local pizza take away I just throw it away. I don’t write to them to tell them why I don’t want their pizza.

Absolutely spot on

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

The self entitlement is strong with this one!

In my very early days I responded to decent messages with face pics and a nice profile because I'm like that. If I replied in the negative, I often got a 'why not' and I remained polite and replied with something along the lines of 'nothing that's in your control to change'.

Occasionally I got abuse.

Would you like me to tell you the truth? That the pic of your gaping arsehole/cum shot/silky knickers/action pics put me off? That your belly overhang/poor tooth hygiene/toenails/crotch fungal infection made me gip?

I remember one old gent who took a pic of himself in his nursing home and was clearly in his 80's but insisted he was in his 50's got very shirty with me when I declined and couldn't understand why.

No is no, be thankful you actually got a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In matters related to meets,

When declined but you're wanting the deets...

It's best not to nag,

That won't get you a shag,

Just say "Thank you" and admit defeat.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You do understand that sometimes it's got fuck all to do with you or your profile as to why someone doesn't want to meet right?

I had a breakdown a few years back. Full on breakdown.

A few times I replied to folks and told them I wasn't in a good place mentally, that I was in the midst of a breakdown. You know how soul destroying it can be to be told "let me fuck you, it'll sort you right out" or "you know what'll fix that? My cock"

Just take no as no. As much as people don't know what's going on in your life, you also have zero clue what's going on in theirs.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Never ask "Why not?".

Just move on mate."

You won't ever hear anything useful and you will just get yourself blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd block anyone that replied asking why not. No one owes you an explanation, they don't even owe you a reply. Accept they said no thank you and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quality thread

haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am not entirely sure if this ain’t an elaborate troll job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See what happens when you ask why not.

They are angry. So very angry

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By *inkyeroticaCouple
over a year ago

Ampthill

"End of the day, I don't actually care, just like a little feedback"

“No thanks” was the feedback! You don’t have to understand it, just accept it. Move on!

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"I sent a message to someone and they said no thank you.

I politely asked why not, just for feedback, kinda pike if you're not successful when applying for a job.

To see if there is anything I could say or do to possibly change, for future reference.

Kept getting simple replies such as, I just don't.

That doesn't a swer my question now does it?

Why can't people just answer a straight forward question?

Happily accept answers such as live too far away, don't find you attractive, age or whatever

But to simply say, just don't... Thanks for nothing"

Self-entitled when you get a No Thanks you are supposed to stop messaging good job you have not messaged as we would tell you the truth and guys like you do not like it...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Am not entirely sure if this ain’t an elaborate troll job

Its not

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"I sent a message to someone and they said no thank you. I politely asked **why not**"

•

And that's where you went wrong: just move on. Don't ever enquire "why not".

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Poor

OP getting some harsh comments

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I sent a message to someone and they said no thank you.

I politely asked why not, just for feedback, kinda pike if you're not successful when applying for a job.

To see if there is anything I could say or do to possibly change, for future reference.

Kept getting simple replies such as, I just don't.

That doesn't a swer my question now does it?

Why can't people just answer a straight forward question?

Happily accept answers such as live too far away, don't find you attractive, age or whatever

But to simply say, just don't... Thanks for nothing

Self-entitled when you get a No Thanks you are supposed to stop messaging good job you have not messaged as we would tell you the truth and guys like you do not like it..."

Guys like me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Poor

OP getting some harsh comments

It's a very entitled OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why"

And if they simply replied, no thanks you're my type.

Then I have been told why lol

I would take it in the chin, each to their own.

Its exactly hard to send a simple reply saying no thanks, not my type. No thanks too far away, no thanks too old/young or whatever the reason may be

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Poor

OP getting some harsh comments

It's a very entitled OP"

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why

And if they simply replied, no thanks you're my type.

Then I have been told why lol

I would take it in the chin, each to their own.

Its exactly hard to send a simple reply saying no thanks, not my type. No thanks too far away, no thanks too old/young or whatever the reason may be"

But no one has to do that. You are not making yourself sound any less entitled.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why

And if they simply replied, no thanks you're my type.

Then I have been told why lol

I would take it in the chin, each to their own.

Its exactly hard to send a simple reply saying no thanks, not my type. No thanks too far away, no thanks too old/young or whatever the reason may be"

Why though? What good would it actually do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why

And if they simply replied, no thanks you're my type.

Then I have been told why lol

I would take it in the chin, each to their own.

Its exactly hard to send a simple reply saying no thanks, not my type. No thanks too far away, no thanks too old/young or whatever the reason may be"

Nope. Whenever I've done that the man gets argumentative. "I can pick you up", "I'm very mature". Blah blah. I do not give a reason now because I don't want more messages from someone I am not interested in.

What was the point of your OP if you're not going to listen?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

Its called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why

And if they simply replied, no thanks you're my type.

Then I have been told why lol

I would take it in the chin, each to their own.

Its exactly hard to send a simple reply saying no thanks, not my type. No thanks too far away, no thanks too old/young or whatever the reason may be

Why though? What good would it actually do?

But seriously, you say you would take it on the chin. Would you? Would you actually truthfully honestly accept what they say? Or would you follow up that response of too far with "well I'm willing to travel" for example...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont see the problem. If shes not interested shes not interested, she doesnt need to give a reason.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

Its called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason"

No pickle, common courtesy is accepting the no as a fucking no

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Read the whole

They said

No thankyou

Then why not

Leave it after they said that??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No pickle, common courtesy is accepting the no as a fucking no "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

Its called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason"

Why would anyone think you're entitled now that you've said people lack common courtesy even though you've been told again and again why women don't reply or don't give a reason.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

Its called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason"

The common curtesy was to reply saying no thank you. No need to be answerering further questions.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 18/11/21 11:56:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why

And if they simply replied, no thanks you're my type.

Then I have been told why lol

I would take it in the chin, each to their own.

Its exactly hard to send a simple reply saying no thanks, not my type. No thanks too far away, no thanks too old/young or whatever the reason may be"

And if they had replied no thanks, not my type..... you'd have wanted to know why you're not their type I'm sure.

I've no idea why this has really irriated me this morning , but it has.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

It's called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason"

Your actions here continue to pour fuel into the flames kind of say otherwise.

You are probably a nice guy but sometimes you have to walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why

And if they simply replied, no thanks you're my type.

Then I have been told why lol

I would take it in the chin, each to their own.

Its exactly hard to send a simple reply saying no thanks, not my type. No thanks too far away, no thanks too old/young or whatever the reason may be"

Here’s why… Nobody owes you a reply.

Do you really think people have the time or want to reply to people they have no interest in?

If someone messaged a woman and she replied no thanks, they then send a message saying why? She tells them the reason. She’s most likely going to receive abuse or the “if & but I can…”

What difference does it possibly make to you? She’s not going to meet you either way and you won’t change her mind. So just respect she even took her time to reply a no thanks and move on.

It comes across as extremely entitled.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Tea anyone.??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sent a message to someone and they said no thank you.

I politely asked why not, just for feedback, kinda pike if you're not successful when applying for a job.

To see if there is anything I could say or do to possibly change, for future reference.

Kept getting simple replies such as, I just don't.

That doesn't a swer my question now does it?

Why can't people just answer a straight forward question?

Happily accept answers such as live too far away, don't find you attractive, age or whatever

But to simply say, just don't... Thanks for nothing"

They don't actually have to give a reason, if you're not their type then just accept it.

When they answer "I just don't" that is just their way of saying "Sorry, not my type..." Not everyone has a big enough vocabulary to answer you in the way you would like... Get over it and move on...

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Poor

OP getting some harsh comments

To be honest, he and others like him that can’t take a No, are the reason other guys don’t get answers now. Whoever he messaged today is more likely to ignore or delete future messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Poor

OP getting some harsh comments

To be honest, he and others like him that can’t take a No, are the reason other guys don’t get answers now. Whoever he messaged today is more likely to ignore or delete future messages.

And I think more than one person will have pre-emptively blocked!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

Its called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason"

Common courtesy???

I think common courtesy could also be extended to accepting someone's decision without demanding an answer.

Your original 3 posts here show that you received a reply, you wanted an explanation, so continued to ask for one until you annoyed the recipient and received a rude reply, then appeared indignant at the reply.

You don't think that comes across as rude, entitled, demanding?

If you approached a woman in a bar and ordered to buy her a drink, and she declined, would you keep asking why ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

Its called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason

Common courtesy???

I think common courtesy could also be extended to accepting someone's decision without demanding an answer.

You don't think that comes across as rude, entitled, demanding?

If you approached a woman in a bar and ordered to buy her a drink, and she declined, would you keep asking why ? "

Exactly...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Note to self, never ask Why not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why

And if they simply replied, no thanks you're my type.

Then I have been told why lol

I would take it in the chin, each to their own.

Its exactly hard to send a simple reply saying no thanks, not my type. No thanks too far away, no thanks too old/young or whatever the reason may be

Here’s why… Nobody owes you a reply.

Do you really think people have the time or want to reply to people they have no interest in?

If someone messaged a woman and she replied no thanks, they then send a message saying why? She tells them the reason. She’s most likely going to receive abuse or the “if & but I can…”

What difference does it possibly make to you? She’s not going to meet you either way and you won’t change her mind. So just respect she even took her time to reply a no thanks and move on.

It comes across as extremely entitled.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Tea anyone.??"

More tea?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

It's called being tactfull I would think x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tea anyone.??

More tea?"

With a drop of something stronger?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Tea anyone.??

More tea?

With a drop of something stronger?

Like x

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"It's called being tactfull I would think x"

This is why I love you

Always the voice of

Reason x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not owed the first reply of no thanks, be grateful she took the time and courtesy to reply to you.

Don’t then message back to ask why. A no is a no, your not owed an explanation.

Nothing worse than sending a polite no thanks and it’s taken as a cue to start chatting drives me nuts and then I have to block

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Feedback? Dating and Fab is very different to applying for a job.

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By *ashful_at_firstMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

"If we get a leaflet through the door from our local pizza take away I just throw it away. I don’t write to them to tell them why I don’t want their pizza.

Genius answer!!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"It's called being tactfull I would think x

This is why I love you

Always the voice of

Reason x"

Love u to _asmeen!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"It's called being tactfull I would think x

This is why I love you

Always the voice of

Reason x

Love u to _asmeen!

Xxx

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

Its called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason"

You are right, them guys were being unreasonable, at the very least they should have given you some pointers and allowed you an opportunity to counter any inhibitions they may have had about you. How else is a community going to improve if we don't give feedback to each other?

It is their loss obviously !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the words of Noel Gallagher

“Can everyone just fookin calm down!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the words of Noel Gallagher

“Can everyone just fookin calm down!”"

"You and our kid are in a fight"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

Its called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason"

If a woman says 'not my type', many men get abusive.

She said no but you kept asking why. You weren't being courteous to her.

Hope next time you won't ask why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Their final response wasn’t nice but it sounds like you asked a few times, so out of frustration you got the final response.

Why

Are you stamping feet too

I'll skweem and skweem and skweem until I'm thick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a positive note mate I'd say you got a shitload of views today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey im with you with on this one. People are more ignorant when they aren't face to face with you. Just a quick message to say why they aren't interested is suffice for me.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"If we get a leaflet through the door from our local pizza take away I just throw it away. I don’t write to them to tell them why I don’t want their pizza.

Genius answer!!"

•

No it's not. It's a banal and hackneyed answer!

This is about OP's unwitting desire to obtain feedback. It's not about unsolicited messages. His message was solicited.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I think fabs guidance to a person receiving an unsolicited message from someone they are not interested in is to hit delete or block or both. Sooner you get your head round that the more enjoyable the site will be for you

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"But I'm not entitled nor do I feel or act like I am

Its called common courtesy and doesn't take more than a few seconds to type something as simple as, no thanks you're not my type.

I never stated anyone should or that I deserved an answer or anything like that.

Just a lot of people commenting on this post think that of me, and why? No reason"

But there is a reason. You say it is a common courtesy. In other words you think somebody should do it. We disagree that it's a common courtesy or that anybody should do it.

At the very least you are contradicting yourself. On the one hand you say an explanation is a common courtesy, which means you think they should do it, like I think people should say please and thank you, not playing music in their earphones too loudly on the train, not absentmindedly walking into you etc. These are common courtesies. People should do them, in my opinion.

On the other hand you acknowledge that people don't have to do them.

Criticising people for saying people ought to do things they don't have any responsibility to do is a contradiction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey im with you with on this one. People are more ignorant when they aren't face to face with you. Just a quick message to say why they aren't interested is suffice for me."

What if they can't give a good reason?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Hey im with you with on this one. People are more ignorant when they aren't face to face with you. Just a quick message to say why they aren't interested is suffice for me."

Not really ignorance more being tactfull! It's not nice to say to someone I dont like your looks etc., i would never do that it may be the truth but would not like to say that to anyone its hurtfulx

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Hey im with you with on this one. People are more ignorant when they aren't face to face with you. Just a quick message to say why they aren't interested is suffice for me."

Nope i don’t have to do that be lucky if they get a no thanks.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Ok he wants a reason why someone is not interested so

You cock is too small

Don’t find you attractive

Your photo are awful

You have no hair

Etc etc

What kind of response do you think you would get for being honest.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

1) Because I don’t have to explain myself to a random guy on the internet demanding I do.

2) they say they want to know and then get abusive when you do tell them why.

Can’t win.

No thanks or deleted message is enough. Don’t owe anyone explanations

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

"Hey im with you with on this one. People are more ignorant when they aren't face to face with you. Just a quick message to say why they aren't interested is suffice for me."

What’s ignorant is people online demanding explanations for why I don’t want to speak to or have sex with them.

Blows my mind you think that’s ignorant… imagine if I told every guy I don’t wanna meet why j didn’t want too… there’s be forums about me giving abuse to 100 men a day.

Literally can’t get my head round this at all!

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By *astlincscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tinsel Town

"Hey im with you with on this one. People are more ignorant when they aren't face to face with you. Just a quick message to say why they aren't interested is suffice for me."

Wrong

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Here you go OP...

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1233411

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey im with you with on this one. People are more ignorant when they aren't face to face with you. Just a quick message to say why they aren't interested is suffice for me."

What if you/they don’t want to give a reason?

I wouldn’t call it ignorance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we get a leaflet through the door from our local pizza take away I just throw it away. I don’t write to them to tell them why I don’t want their pizza.

Genius answer!!

•

No it's not. It's a banal and hackneyed answer!

This is about OP's unwitting desire to obtain feedback. It's not about unsolicited messages. His message was solicited."

Nero, solicited in what way? Because the woman/couple is on Fab they have to accept they will receive messages?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not applying for a job though. You're putting yourself forward as a potential sexual partner.

You are owed absolutely nothing here. People do not need to explain or justify their sexual preferences.

Not a fuck.

Not a polite reply.

Not a simple "No".

Nada.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Cause you can’t handle the truth as Jack Nicholson would say

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Not interested is all you need to know, why would anyone want to know why someone isn't interested? Just move on and forget about it

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"If we get a leaflet through the door from our local pizza take away I just throw it away. I don’t write to them to tell them why I don’t want their pizza.

Genius answer!!

•

No it's not. It's a banal and hackneyed answer!

This is about OP's unwitting desire to obtain feedback. It's not about unsolicited messages. His message was solicited.

Nero, solicited in what way? Because the woman/couple is on Fab they have to accept they will receive messages?"

•

A good question, but not quite. This is my take on it as I previously remarked the other day:

Unsolicited in this context means you're not looking to potentially meet/play whatsoever, or not looking for anything sexual at all.

However, if you have suggested or intimated on your profile you want to meet men/women/etc then there's a healthy and reasonable expectation that people WILL message you and therefore it's not completely unsolicited. How you wish to reply to that message is your prerogative.

(If you have on your profile that you want a take-away and then get a message from 'ABC Pizza' it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer then it's unsolicited. Or if you're going to leave a glowing pumpkin on your doorstep at Halloween then by the law of averages you're going to get a few knocks on your door for trick or treating.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we get a leaflet through the door from our local pizza take away I just throw it away. I don’t write to them to tell them why I don’t want their pizza.

Genius answer!!

•

No it's not. It's a banal and hackneyed answer!

This is about OP's unwitting desire to obtain feedback. It's not about unsolicited messages. His message was solicited.

Nero, solicited in what way? Because the woman/couple is on Fab they have to accept they will receive messages?

•

A good question, but not quite. This is my take on it as I previously remarked the other day:

Unsolicited in this context means you're not looking to potentially meet/play whatsoever, or not looking for anything sexual at all.

I remember now. But none of that means people are bound to give feedback when they say no does it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of profiles can’t take feedback even if it is polite and tactful.

Someone just asked me if I liked their photos. I responded saying ‘most were not to my taste’. To which I got a reply saying that was harsh. How was that harsh?!

I no longer give feedback or justification for my decision to not meet or even chat with someone. I’m now of the mind if someone can’t be arsed reading my profile why should I take the time to do a critical analyses of their profile.

No one is obliged to respond to someone about anything OP. If you find that difficult to deal with you may want to reevaluate being on Fab.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"If we get a leaflet through the door from our local pizza take away I just throw it away. I don’t write to them to tell them why I don’t want their pizza.

Genius answer!!

•

No it's not. It's a banal and hackneyed answer!

This is about OP's unwitting desire to obtain feedback. It's not about unsolicited messages. His message was solicited.

Nero, solicited in what way? Because the woman/couple is on Fab they have to accept they will receive messages?

•

A good question, but not quite. This is my take on it as I previously remarked the other day:

Unsolicited in this context means you're not looking to potentially meet/play whatsoever, or not looking for anything sexual at all.

I remember now. But none of that means people are bound to give feedback when they say no does it?"

•

Correct: no one is obligated to give feedback. Indeed no one should feel the need to reply whatsoever.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Op are you now clued up on the fab world?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about it pal.

Some other bloke getting torn to bits on another thread now.

Chin up

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Don't worry about it pal.

Some other bloke getting torn to bits on another thread now.

Chin up

Yes he really didnt deserve it though x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't worry about it pal.

Some other bloke getting torn to bits on another thread now.

Chin up

Yes he really didnt deserve it though x"

Yeh but it felt like a pack of wolves on a kitten there for a while. Women from Fab Swingers in Alaska were queueing up to have a go..

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Don't worry about it pal.

Some other bloke getting torn to bits on another thread now.

Chin up

Yes he really didnt deserve it though x

Yeh but it felt like a pack of wolves on a kitten there for a while. Women from Fab Swingers in Alaska were queueing up to have a go.."

Yes it was not necessary I totally got what he meant agreed with him! Obvs I can only go by my own experience and am very popular here and dont get me wrong love the attention! But as he says in the real world I rarely get a second glance x

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"If you're not their type, nothing you can do will change that

It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people ask why

And if they simply replied, no thanks you're my type.

Then I have been told why lol

I would take it in the chin, each to their own.

Its exactly hard to send a simple reply saying no thanks, not my type. No thanks too far away, no thanks too old/young or whatever the reason may be"

Saying "no thanks" IS precisely saying you're not their type.

Lady Astor

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