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Things That Make Your Heart Drop

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"Your parcel will be delivered by Hermes"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seeing the red lines of stationary traffic along my route when using my gps maps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Your parcel will be delivered by Hermes" "

Add to that the update on Hermes that they tried to deliver and you weren’t in.

Except you were and no one knocked

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Hermes is great in this area, extremely efficient.

"You are number 47 in the queue, estimated wait time three hours twenty seven minutes"

Tinkle, tinkle, plink, plonk of tinny musak.

"Your call is important to us"

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Hope you haven't set off already, something's come up", normally sent half an hour after the time we were meant to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Hermes deliveries are never like this. I must be one of the lucky ones.

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there


"Seeing the red lines of stationary traffic along my route when using my gps maps."

Lol - you should use Waze… auto reroute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a Postie for Royal Mail I love hearing these stories about Hermes…….

P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hearing the alarm when he has to get up and go home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a fantastic hermes guy now. He looks like a ginger viking and he's lovely.

Because of the farm lane I had so many issues in the past.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"The government have reassured everyone there is no need to panic, there are categorically no issues/shortages/plans for further lockdowns/truth to the rumours"

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss


"Seeing the red lines of stationary traffic along my route when using my gps maps."

This

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Your delicate unique ming dynasty terracotta warrior will be delivered by Barry from Yodel sometime…. If you’re not in we will leave it in your safe place or perched on the Brown wheelie bin - the one with the dodgy wheel & lid cos he can’t be arsed opening a gate. Ps we have included a free pamphlet on Jigsaws for Beginners !!!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere


"Your delicate unique ming dynasty terracotta warrior will be delivered by Barry from Yodel sometime…. If you’re not in we will leave it in your safe place or perched on the Brown wheelie bin - the one with the dodgy wheel & lid cos he can’t be arsed opening a gate. Ps we have included a free pamphlet on Jigsaws for Beginners !!! "
Barry was unable to leave on the bin so drop kicked it into your safe place and marked it fragile!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seeing the red lines of stationary traffic along my route when using my gps maps."

That's a good shout. Along with the expected arrival time slowly creeping up

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""Your parcel will be delivered by Hermes"

Add to that the update on Hermes that they tried to deliver and you weren’t in.

Except you were and no one knocked "

Luckily it arrived. They took a picture of it half way through the letterbox but I was still surprised when I actually saw it on the floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I can’t find my phone anywhere and think someone robbed it or I lost it and then realise it’s somewhere in my back pocket.

Also when it falls from your hands

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By *hekaiserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Seeing the red lines of stationary traffic along my route when using my gps maps."

This....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a sex toy is being delivered when you're off and should be arriving in subtle packaging....then turns up when you're at work with the brand name all over it and you come home to a quiz from your other half about the contents! I only ever made that mistake once

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Finding out a single person is far from single.

When it hits you that people's values differ greatly from your own, and actually trust is deemed worthless

When your best knickers get an acid coochie stain

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"

...When your best knickers get an acid coochie stain "

I hate that. I have a lot of black and navy sets where the knickers over time develop a light patch and aside from dying them there's nothing to be done about it.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"

...When your best knickers get an acid coochie stain

I hate that. I have a lot of black and navy sets where the knickers over time develop a light patch and aside from dying them there's nothing to be done about it."

I'm like, "what the fuck am I producing to take the dye out?!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the person in front of you in the queue wants to pay in loose change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

...When your best knickers get an acid coochie stain

I hate that. I have a lot of black and navy sets where the knickers over time develop a light patch and aside from dying them there's nothing to be done about it.

I'm like, "what the fuck am I producing to take the dye out?!!"

"

Perhaps you need more resilient knickers?

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By *P994Man
over a year ago

Travelling

“The items you’ve ordered aren’t in stock (even though they were bloody there and the right size was available!) we can offer you xyz that you don’t want or you can wait ten days and get refunded”

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln


""Your parcel will be delivered by Hermes" "

Could be worse, could be Yodel

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When a sex toy is being delivered when you're off and should be arriving in subtle packaging....then turns up when you're at work with the brand name all over it and you come home to a quiz from your other half about the contents! I only ever made that mistake once "

Why wouldn't your other half be involved?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

When you feel a massive sneeze coming on and then……absolutely nothing! It leaves one feeling utterly crestfallen

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"

...When your best knickers get an acid coochie stain

I hate that. I have a lot of black and navy sets where the knickers over time develop a light patch and aside from dying them there's nothing to be done about it.

I'm like, "what the fuck am I producing to take the dye out?!!"

Perhaps you need more resilient knickers?"

Tarpaulin?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle


"When you feel a massive sneeze coming on and then……absolutely nothing! It leaves one feeling utterly crestfallen "

Especially when you’ve done the weird “I’m gonna sneeze face” and then nothing…..

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

When you think it was just a fart.... and you know instantly you thought wrong

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

When the Nigerian Prince doesn't follow through on his promises of a fortune.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

...When your best knickers get an acid coochie stain

I hate that. I have a lot of black and navy sets where the knickers over time develop a light patch and aside from dying them there's nothing to be done about it.

I'm like, "what the fuck am I producing to take the dye out?!!"

Perhaps you need more resilient knickers?

Tarpaulin?"

Kevlar maybe?.....

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

When you've put your bedding in the wash and head back upstairs to discover you dropped a cunting pillowcase on the way

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"

...When your best knickers get an acid coochie stain

I hate that. I have a lot of black and navy sets where the knickers over time develop a light patch and aside from dying them there's nothing to be done about it.

I'm like, "what the fuck am I producing to take the dye out?!!"

Perhaps you need more resilient knickers?

Tarpaulin?

Kevlar maybe?....."

Maybe women being commando is what creates potholes in the road

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

No choc in the house x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

...When your best knickers get an acid coochie stain

I hate that. I have a lot of black and navy sets where the knickers over time develop a light patch and aside from dying them there's nothing to be done about it.

I'm like, "what the fuck am I producing to take the dye out?!!"

Perhaps you need more resilient knickers?

Tarpaulin?

Kevlar maybe?.....

Maybe women being commando is what creates potholes in the road "

Clunge craters? ....could be a thing..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I have a nap on a Wednesday afternoon, wake up and realise my daughter isn’t home from school. Takes me a minute to remember she gets picked up by her dad on a Wednesday. I do this every week!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Your parcel will be delivered by Hermes" "

I don’t want to ever see that again Appalling service!

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By *annyDanielleMan
over a year ago

Street, Somerset

Eating an egg mayo baguette only to have the filling squish out and fall in my lap. I've cleaned it up best i can but now it just looks like i've cum on myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When a sex toy is being delivered when you're off and should be arriving in subtle packaging....then turns up when you're at work with the brand name all over it and you come home to a quiz from your other half about the contents! I only ever made that mistake once

Why wouldn't your other half be involved?"

Sometimes they don't appreciate the more spicy things in life as you do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your over at someones house and you see them putting the milk in first when making the tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amazon parcel delivered to resident.. no parcel here. Another bloody thief knicked it from my doorstep.. just makes me feel uneasy.. And thanks to the idiot driver who left it there. Not even trying to hide it behind bins...

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

My local Hermes courier has just left having taken time out to join me in Coffee and Cake, she has been delivering to me for the past 9 years.

In the 9 or so years that I have been using Hermes I have sent in excess of 5000 parcels, 16 breakages and 11 losses, I can live with that.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

My heart drops every month when I see my payslip.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flashing blue lights in the rear view mirror

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By *annyDanielleMan
over a year ago

Street, Somerset


"Flashing blue lights in the rear view mirror "

Then it lifts again when you pull over and they go whizzing passed.

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By *ourNextAddictionMan
over a year ago

Somerset

Late night - thinking you’ve sent a message to the wrong person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A phone call after daylight hours

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’


"As a Postie for Royal Mail I love hearing these stories about Hermes…….

P"

"Pwaaaaaa!" Dressed like that? "Huba-Hubba!"

You can put your enevelopes in my letterbox any day of the week.

Don't be scared to knock on my door... As we all know that the postman/woman/person/deliver-er (ah getting stuck in symantics - arghhhhhhh), always knocks twice!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you feel a massive sneeze coming on and then……absolutely nothing! It leaves one feeling utterly crestfallen "

It's gutting.

I tend to yawn instead and wonder why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My heart doesn’t usesuly drop it’s normal my knickers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting to the end of the Nutella jar, and not having an implement that’s shaped to get the last delicious morsels out of it. I’m sure the bastards design the jars deliberately to mind fuck you over those last yummy bits. It’s like they’re mocking me when I can’t reach them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

...When your best knickers get an acid coochie stain

I hate that. I have a lot of black and navy sets where the knickers over time develop a light patch and aside from dying them there's nothing to be done about it.

I'm like, "what the fuck am I producing to take the dye out?!!"

Perhaps you need more resilient knickers?

Tarpaulin?

Kevlar maybe?....."

Pant liners

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By *enuine MikeMan
over a year ago

Guildford

Lewis Hamilton demotion from pole to the back of the grid in Brazil

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Going out for the day and seeing long range forecasts rain.

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