FabSwingers.com forum: Trans Awareness Week

By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's Trans Awareness Week, leading up to Trans Rememberance Day.

I have been enjoying reading about historic trans men and women. Then I read this and see why it feels like we're going backwards: https://inews.co.uk/news/long-reads/secret-court-case-50-years-ago-robbed-transgender-people-rights-1291857

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Developments in recent years have been troubling.

I support my trans brothers and sisters, and non binary siblings.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Developments in recent years have been troubling.

I support my trans brothers and sisters, and non binary siblings."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must say 99% of my interaction with the trans community has come from fab. It's lead to conversations and discussions I'd never have had otherwise so I'm grateful for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's Trans Awareness Week, leading up to Trans Rememberance Day.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

If it wasn’t for two trans women, there would be no LGBTQ community, as they’re the ones that sparked the stonewall riots.

I am and always will be an ally

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If it wasn’t for two trans women, there would be no LGBTQ community, as they’re the ones that sparked the stonewall riots.

I am and always will be an ally "

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"It's Trans Awareness Week, leading up to Trans Rememberance Day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's Trans Awareness Week, leading up to Trans Rememberance Day.

Such a good read!! Thanks for sharing this!

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

I too support the Trans' community, one of my close friends was Transgender, she unfortunately passed away in April, the Funeral company really did her proud and was very respectful and understanding with her requests. Peace to all.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

"Must say 99% of my interaction with the trans community has come from fab. It's lead to conversations and discussions I'd never have had otherwise so I'm grateful for that.

Exactly this. I am still not as well versed on trans issues and challenges as I’d like to be but there are some amazing people on here who don’t judge me, listen to my ramblings and help contextualise things for me

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"If it wasn’t for two trans women, there would be no LGBTQ community, as they’re the ones that sparked the stonewall riots.

I am and always will be an ally "

Exactly, which is why I get annoyed at the Alliance. The erasue of the T and the misogynoir I see from some is part of what makes me feel like we're going backwards.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's Trans Awareness Week, leading up to Trans Rememberance Day.

Such a good read!! Thanks for sharing this!

There are more trans history stories this year than I've seen in previous years. We're having interesting conversations over here in Way Over Yonder.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I too support the Trans' community, one of my close friends was Transgender, she unfortunately passed away in April, the Funeral company really did her proud and was very respectful and understanding with her requests. Peace to all."

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm so comforted to see she was treated with respect in death.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Must say 99% of my interaction with the trans community has come from fab. It's lead to conversations and discussions I'd never have had otherwise so I'm grateful for that.

There is a lot of information available this week.

Sadly, Trans Remembrance Day is there to mark the death of trans women (mostly, and mostly women of colour) and trans men through violence.

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

As someone who has recently come out and started transitioning this is a nice post to see, thankyou.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

"Must say 99% of my interaction with the trans community has come from fab. It's lead to conversations and discussions I'd never have had otherwise so I'm grateful for that.

There is a lot of information available this week.

Sadly, Trans Remembrance Day is there to mark the death of trans women (mostly, and mostly women of colour) and trans men through violence.

The information is one thing. The ability to converse is far more important for me though, and for that I thank members of the community

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"As someone who has recently come out and started transitioning this is a nice post to see, thankyou."

May your transition be as smooth as possible. Fab can be supportive place at times.

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"As someone who has recently come out and started transitioning this is a nice post to see, thankyou.

May your transition be as smooth as possible. Fab can be supportive place at times.

Thanks thats very kind of you. I've started to chat to one or two nice inclusive people here.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Thanks for sharing Lickety - hope you're well. It's an astounding revelation, in the link and correlates with things I've heard. It's shocking that every person has their freedom held in such contempt by those with power

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone who has recently come out and started transitioning this is a nice post to see, thankyou.

May your transition be as smooth as possible. Fab can be supportive place at times.

It certainly can be nowadays. It never used to be.

Thanks for making this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone who has recently come out and started transitioning this is a nice post to see, thankyou."

Congratulations on coming out.

If you’ve not seen my posts before I’m a post op trans woman and I am keen to support others who are on the journey I’ve been on.

Please message me anytime if you need a friend, someone to listen, or if you need a steer in the right direction xx

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Thankyou. It's a scary time to be doing it but had to be done.

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Fair play for starting the thread. Very important topic and I can only imagine how difficult it must be for trans people when you see the discourse in society.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Thank you for starting this thread Lickety. I remember starting a thread about Transgender Day of Remembrance not so many years ago, and getting lots of disparaging and abusive posts from transphobes (the usual sort of stuff telling me that I was promoting division and what about the "normal" people?). My hope is that the majority on the forums have gained better understanding more recently.

Over the same period though it does feel as if the general attitude within the UK has gone backwards a long way, with a prolonged attack on the trans community coming from well funded sources. All the newspapers. The BBC. The government (we actually have a Minister for Equalities who is openly transphobic!). Members of the House of Lords. High profile authors. University lecturers, awarded honours even while spouting hatred. Pressure groups that claim to be feminist but are quite happy to throw all women under the bus in order to stamp on trans people. The whole toilet "debate" (there's nothing to debate, trans women have been using women's toilets for many years, why the hell would any man make themselves highly visible by dressing as a woman to invade the ladies loos, when all they need is a pair of overalls and a mop?).

I'll stop there, I'm being too depressing on your thread Lickety. Thank you to all who are posting kind words on here. Polly xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thankyou. It's a scary time to be doing it but had to be done."

That’s the bit most people don’t understand. Trans is not a choice. Being phobic is.

It would have been so much easier to be gay! As it is I’ll probably spend the rest of my life without anyone who loves me. Sex is always on offer. Love is in short supply.

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Thankyou. It's a scary time to be doing it but had to be done.

That’s the bit most people don’t understand. Trans is not a choice. Being phobic is.

It would have been so much easier to be gay! As it is I’ll probably spend the rest of my life without anyone who loves me. Sex is always on offer. Love is in short supply. "

It is. I think the other thing people don't realise is trans is a label society puts on us. I don't identify as trans, but very few are willing to accept us as women.

And yes, one of the big things I had to reconcile before coming out was committing to transitioning was also committing to probable loneliness.

that's why seeing visible allies is so important.

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By *ekkatransTV/TS
over a year ago

Scarborough

I hope in years to come the gender clinics will be better funded and not have a five year waiting list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope in years to come the gender clinics will be better funded and not have a five year waiting list. "

Five plus covid by the looks of things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thankyou. It's a scary time to be doing it but had to be done.

That’s the bit most people don’t understand. Trans is not a choice. Being phobic is.

It would have been so much easier to be gay! As it is I’ll probably spend the rest of my life without anyone who loves me. Sex is always on offer. Love is in short supply.

It is. I think the other thing people don't realise is trans is a label society puts on us. I don't identify as trans, but very few are willing to accept us as women.

And yes, one of the big things I had to reconcile before coming out was committing to transitioning was also committing to probable loneliness.

that's why seeing visible allies is so important."

I live in hope that I’ll meet someone who loves me as me. I have a lot of love to give.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it wasn’t for two trans women, there would be no LGBTQ community, as they’re the ones that sparked the stonewall riots.

I am and always will be an ally "

Stormé DeLarverie, a lesbian, played a rather significant part too in the riots.

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By *orestguy28Man
over a year ago

Glos

Always fully supportive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive always accepted it, being a dualistic genderfluid person myself, but i have noticed in recent years that the trans identity has become somewhat sullied. Im starting to see more ppl identifying as trans and fetishising it, even with a small percentage transitioning simply for that purpose and involving themselves in pornography.

I may be wrong, but from my own observations of the psychology within younger generations, and how society has evolved, i feel theres a percentage of men transitioning to become women for the wrong reasons, and to me, i feel ppl transitioning is started to lose its meaning and validity. There are ppl who genuinely do feel they shouldve been born as the opposite gender, while there are others who are simply doing for the wrong reasons, and its worrying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"Thankyou. It's a scary time to be doing it but had to be done.

That’s the bit most people don’t understand. Trans is not a choice. Being phobic is.

It would have been so much easier to be gay! As it is I’ll probably spend the rest of my life without anyone who loves me. Sex is always on offer. Love is in short supply.

It is. I think the other thing people don't realise is trans is a label society puts on us. I don't identify as trans, but very few are willing to accept us as women.

And yes, one of the big things I had to reconcile before coming out was committing to transitioning was also committing to probable loneliness.

that's why seeing visible allies is so important.

I live in hope that I’ll meet someone who loves me as me. I have a lot of love to give.

Sending big hugs to you and everyone else too. It’s a cliché but, Mr/Miss right is out there

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not gonna lie I don't fully understand the issues trans people or people that don't identify as one gender or the other face. My chibling (child of my sibling) as they have asked me to refer to them as, Has told us that they are non binary. However recently they are now saying they are trans this is something I have struggled to get my head round but I'm learning and I will always be there for them. I wont always use the right terminology and I won't always fully understand but I'm trying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive always accepted it, being a dualistic genderfluid person myself, but i have noticed in recent years that the trans identity has become somewhat sullied. Im starting to see more ppl identifying as trans and fetishising it, even with a small percentage transitioning simply for that purpose and involving themselves in pornography.

As someone who’s been moving in these circles for a long time, I’ve not seen anyone actually transition who’s not trans.

This is the kind of thing the media and terfs pedal; claiming men are becoming ‘women’ for sexual reasons.

There have always been lots of men who dress for sex but they don’t transition or hang out in ladies toilets for gratification or sinister reasons.

There are lots of hoops to jump through to ‘prove’ you’re trans before the experts will help you. It takes many years of dedication facing resistance every step.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not gonna lie I don't fully understand the issues trans people or people that don't identify as one gender or the other face. My chibling (child of my sibling) as they have asked me to refer to them as, Has told us that they are non binary. However recently they are now saying they are trans this is something I have struggled to get my head round but I'm learning and I will always be there for them. I wont always use the right terminology and I won't always fully understand but I'm trying. "

As long as you’re trying to understand rather than actively making it more difficult for them, you’re doing right by them.

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

"Thankyou. It's a scary time to be doing it but had to be done.

That’s the bit most people don’t understand. Trans is not a choice. Being phobic is.

It would have been so much easier to be gay! As it is I’ll probably spend the rest of my life without anyone who loves me. Sex is always on offer. Love is in short supply. "

I hope your wrong about not finding love. I hope you find the person of your dreams that loves you for YOU

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you’re trying to understand rather than actively making it more difficult for them, you’re doing right by them. "

I'm iv found it really hard. I see the struggles they face and it breaks my heart that they are going through this and I want them to be happy and themselves. I will support them with everything iv got but iv got more learning to do than I realised. One of the strangest things that I have found was that when they spoke to a medical professional about what they were going through they were referrred to a mental health team.

I find it odd that it is seen as a mental health issue, is this normal and standard for someone who identifys as non binary or trans and seeks medical advice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you’re trying to understand rather than actively making it more difficult for them, you’re doing right by them.

I find it odd that it is seen as a mental health issue, is this normal and standard for someone who identifys as non binary or trans and seeks medical advice?"

The world health organisation clearly states that being trans is not a mental health issue.

Unfortunately, you still need two separate psychiatrists to diagnose you as trans before you can get surgery.

In my opinion, you should live this life for quite some time before you do anything irreversible to your body to be sure it’s for you but the waiting lists are more like six years just to get to triage at a gender clinic. The offer of hormones may come a year later surgery will still be a very long time after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you’re trying to understand rather than actively making it more difficult for them, you’re doing right by them.

I find it odd that it is seen as a mental health issue, is this normal and standard for someone who identifys as non binary or trans and seeks medical advice?

The world health organisation clearly states that being trans is not a mental health issue.

Unfortunately, you still need two separate psychiatrists to diagnose you as trans before you can get surgery.

Thank you for that.

Yes they are 19 and whilst supporting them I also don't them to rush into anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are support groups for families and friends of trans people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are support groups for families and friends of trans people.

My sister has recently joined a local support group and found it helpful so I will look into this. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you’re trying to understand rather than actively making it more difficult for them, you’re doing right by them.

I find it odd that it is seen as a mental health issue, is this normal and standard for someone who identifys as non binary or trans and seeks medical advice?

The world health organisation clearly states that being trans is not a mental health issue.

Unfortunately, you still need two separate psychiatrists to diagnose you as trans before you can get surgery.

Thank you for that.

Yes they are 19 and whilst supporting them I also don't them to rush into anything. "

I’m happy to chat privately if that may help you better understand.

This was my last thread on my own transition. It may help too.

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1127506

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who’s been moving in these circles for a long time, I’ve not seen anyone actually transition who’s not trans.

This is the kind of thing the media and terfs pedal; claiming men are becoming ‘women’ for sexual reasons.

There have always been lots of men who dress for sex but they don’t transition or hang out in ladies toilets for gratification or sinister reasons.

There are lots of hoops to jump through to ‘prove’ you’re trans before the experts will help you. It takes many years of dedication facing resistance every step. "

Exactly. You can’t make someone trans, either that person is or isn’t. Gender dysphoria works both ways, so if a parent say tries to raise a daughter (and it’s a boy) then eventually that boy will face the same things that we do when living in a body that we are aware, doesn’t belong to us.

Also , freaking Terfs

I’m sure just as Rachel, I am more than happy to voice out my experiences and feelings but there’s nothing more that I hate when people who clearly don’t know anything about it, start to say their piece or clearly trying to invalidate our own experiences. Because of ignorant preconceived notions that they got from Biology back in 1965

I much appreciate someone who says, I really don’t understand but I’d like to listen to you so I can try! X

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Thank you for sharing that Lickety.

This month marks my first as an active ally.

With the help of my trans child who helps give me the tools to be a better, supportive person and parent, I have joined a group of mums who provide support to those who don’t feel they get the same support at home. There are a lot of people who struggle to connect with those who are meant to support them unconditionally. I’m learning a lot from these kids actually.

We will be in Sackville Gardens as a group to honour TDOR.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who’s been moving in these circles for a long time, I’ve not seen anyone actually transition who’s not trans.

This is the kind of thing the media and terfs pedal; claiming men are becoming ‘women’ for sexual reasons.

There have always been lots of men who dress for sex but they don’t transition or hang out in ladies toilets for gratification or sinister reasons.

There are lots of hoops to jump through to ‘prove’ you’re trans before the experts will help you. It takes many years of dedication facing resistance every step.

Also , freaking Terfs

I much appreciate someone who says, I really don’t understand but I’d like to listen to you so I can try! X "

It starts way before school, mrs grealish. From the moment children are born we treat boys and girls differently. Almost all of us do it. By doing so we create gender stereotypes and perpetuate the link between sex and gender even though science is now discovering the two are not necessarily linked any more than sex and sexual attraction are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you’re trying to understand rather than actively making it more difficult for them, you’re doing right by them.

I find it odd that it is seen as a mental health issue, is this normal and standard for someone who identifys as non binary or trans and seeks medical advice?"

The stories I’ve heard from unhelpful GPS by the way, who would kind of refuse to point them out in the right direction and say instead

“You probably are Just depressed , take pills, and you need to accept you are gay - if you still feel this way in 6 months time. we will have another chat”

Or something along those lines, I’m not saying that this is what happening to your chibling.

Also, if this is the case, support them as best as you can, and if they can do it with some help.

Try to let them see if they can go privately to speed up certain things because the waiting times are scandalous. It’s expensive, but sometimes waiting 5 years just to see the right people to then put on hormones (especially when having the acceptance of one self) can be literally HELL!

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Just to clarify a little that it is no longer the official position that there is a mental illness classification of transgender people, and current psychological/psychiatric involvement is there to mitigate and assess risks posed because of the impact of gender incongruence, not to diagnose it.

The medical profession is slowly catching up although as I'm currently finding support at GP level often goes against the guidelines laid out by the GMC and psychiatric institutions.

Like any marginalised group we still face inequality in the health system but the right to self determination of gender is broadly accepted and supported although the waiting lists far, far exceed the target of 18 weeks for anyone with any condition to start receiving treatment from the time of referral, pushing people towards the private sector providers that the NHS largely refuse to recognise or support.

As for the idea that people are transitioning to move into porn, it's overwhelmingly the other way round. Many transitioning people adopt sex work to pay for their transition. Even if individuals are prepared to wait out the long time for GIC appointments and referrals for surgery, options are very limited and private treatment is the only recourse for top surgery for male to female patients, and similarly for tracheal shaves, rhinoplasty, facial feminisation surgery etc.

Transgender people have existed for thousands of years and as we increasingly question notions of gender roles as social constructs more people are going to question their identity and be emboldened to make changes to validate themselves.

Also worth noting a lot of the arguments made against trans people, particularly around risks to youth, how we share safe spaces, whether we should be accepted and integrated into society or shunned as deviants and perverts are exactly the same sleights that were levelled at gay people, which is why the hostility in some queer spaces is so tragic and infuriating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to clarify a little that it is no longer the official position that there is a mental illness classification of transgender people, and current psychological/psychiatric involvement is there to mitigate and assess risks posed because of the impact of gender incongruence, not to diagnose it.

The medical profession is slowly catching up although as I'm currently finding support at GP level often goes against the guidelines laid out by the GMC and psychiatric institutions.

I agree with what she says when some women have to resort into escorting or porn to get the money to then pay for the operations which are essentials!

Whether it’s top surgery, facial feminisation, SRS.

Obviously the only one that is given by NHS is SRS with incredible queues and length waits. But even the other two are essentials in order to align completely the in with the out.

Some women (or men) are lucky to have supportive parents that pay for these operations, but a lot, who are marginalised, will have to fend for themselves and that’s why they end up in porn or escorting. (And usually it isn’t good mentally either as it might be the only option)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The medical profession is slowly catching up although as I'm currently finding support at GP level often goes against the guidelines laid out by the GMC and psychiatric institutions.

I agree with what she says when some women have to resort into escorting or porn to get the money to then pay for the operations which are essentials!

Whether it’s top surgery, facial feminisation, SRS.

Obviously the only one that is given by NHS is SRS with incredible queues and length waits. But even the other two are essentials in order to align completely the in with the out.

What is SRS?

(I know I can Google but I ask daft questions sometimes as then we get the answers on the thread and other people may learn something too.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

SRS= sex reassignment surgery

also known as GRS= gender reassignment surgery

Meaning having the vagina (for trans women) or penis (for trans men)

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

"SRS= sex reassignment surgery

also known as GRS= gender reassignment surgery

Meaning having the vagina (for trans women) or penis (for trans men)"

Also sometimes termed GCS, gender confirmation surgery ie. the surgery to confirm your body into your correct gender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SRS= sex reassignment surgery

also known as GRS= gender reassignment surgery

Meaning having the vagina (for trans women) or penis (for trans men)

Also sometimes termed GCS, gender confirmation surgery ie. the surgery to confirm your body into your correct gender."

That’s the term I prefer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great informative posts and thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SRS= sex reassignment surgery

also known as GRS= gender reassignment surgery

Meaning having the vagina (for trans women) or penis (for trans men)

Also sometimes termed GCS, gender confirmation surgery ie. the surgery to confirm your body into your correct gender."

Thank you both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you’re trying to understand rather than actively making it more difficult for them, you’re doing right by them.

I find it odd that it is seen as a mental health issue, is this normal and standard for someone who identifys as non binary or trans and seeks medical advice?

The world health organisation clearly states that being trans is not a mental health issue.

Unfortunately, you still need two separate psychiatrists to diagnose you as trans before you can get surgery.

Thank you for that.

Yes they are 19 and whilst supporting them I also don't them to rush into anything.

I’m happy to chat privately if that may help you better understand.

This was my last thread on my own transition. It may help too.

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1127506"

Thank you. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you’re trying to understand rather than actively making it more difficult for them, you’re doing right by them.

I find it odd that it is seen as a mental health issue, is this normal and standard for someone who identifys as non binary or trans and seeks medical advice?

The stories I’ve heard from unhelpful GPS by the way, who would kind of refuse to point them out in the right direction and say instead

“You probably are Just depressed , take pills, and you need to accept you are gay - if you still feel this way in 6 months time. we will have another chat”

Or something along those lines, I’m not saying that this is what happening to your chibling.

Also, if this is the case, support them as best as you can, and if they can do it with some help.

Thank you.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Thank you for starting this thread Lickety. I remember starting a thread about Transgender Day of Remembrance not so many years ago, and getting lots of disparaging and abusive posts from transphobes (the usual sort of stuff telling me that I was promoting division and what about the "normal" people?). My hope is that the majority on the forums have gained better understanding more recently.

I'll stop there, I'm being too depressing on your thread Lickety. Thank you to all who are posting kind words on here. Polly xxx"

Years ago I would be disparaged on here for posting about International Women's Day and International Men's Day. That has got better and I generally leave it to others to post.

I may well be attacked for saying this, but... It's a particular type of white feminism that I have seen being GC. I think of myself as a feminist but my white 'sisters' have been happy to put me in my place over the years, telling me I don't get it.

Every sexual or violent attack I have experienced (personal and in helping others) has been perpetrated by cis men. Every time I have felt unsafe in public loos it has been because of other women (usually in groups and in their cups).

Our protected characteristic rights do sometimes brush up against each other and people seek to defend their own rights above others but the rights are 'equal' there is no hierarchy in law on protected characteristics except for disabled people always being entitled to positive action if they meet minimum shortlisting criteria.

I am hopeful. The young people I meet are very accepting of their queer peers.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Thankyou. It's a scary time to be doing it but had to be done.

That’s the bit most people don’t understand. Trans is not a choice. Being phobic is.

It would have been so much easier to be gay! As it is I’ll probably spend the rest of my life without anyone who loves me. Sex is always on offer. Love is in short supply.

It is. I think the other thing people don't realise is trans is a label society puts on us. I don't identify as trans, but very few are willing to accept us as women.

And yes, one of the big things I had to reconcile before coming out was committing to transitioning was also committing to probable loneliness.

that's why seeing visible allies is so important."

Rachael and Malice, I'm sending love and support to you both.

I do know trans women that have found love. I hope it comes to you too.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Lorna, thanks for sharing 'chiblings' with us. I use 'niblings', the term coined in the 1950s for the same thing.

India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Nepal have all had 3 legally recognised genders for years.

Judaism has 6 (or 8) genders in the Talmud.

This is nothing new.

Rachael, your point on reinforcing gender identities early is so true, and being made worse by these gender reveal parties. We start ascribing behaviours and attitudes before a baby opens its eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for your support Lickety.

One thing I really must get onto people’s screens is that, although transition has been hard. Even though it’s cost me so much financially and emotionally. I have never. Ever. Ever. Been so at one with myself.

I be not regretted what’s been done to me, no matter how great the pain has been. Not for a micro second.

I’m physically a woman on the outside too now and that sits right with me.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

"Thanks for your support Lickety.

I be not regretted what’s been done to me, no matter how great the pain has been. Not for a micro second.

I’m physically a woman on the outside too now and that sits right with me.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I'll stop there, I'm being too depressing on your thread Lickety. Thank you to all who are posting kind words on here. Polly xxx

Years ago I would be disparaged on here for posting about International Women's Day and International Men's Day. That has got better and I generally leave it to others to post.

I am hopeful. The young people I meet are very accepting of their queer peers.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Gendered Intelligence is running a lovely little video series for this week showing trans men and women just getting on with their lives. No drama. Just being them.

It has made me smile this week.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Thanks for your support Lickety.

I be not regretted what’s been done to me, no matter how great the pain has been. Not for a micro second.

I’m physically a woman on the outside too now and that sits right with me.

I’ve said it before but I think that this might be the right moment to reiterate my feelings here.

I’ve followed your story and transition from years ago and I’ve always been struck by your openness, emotional honesty and the strength that you have shown in documenting it.

I’ve learnt so much from you, I’m in complete admiration and awe for you and for the others that go through what you are and have done.

My understanding and I hope that of so many others has increased massively because of you and others like you. You’re an inspiration

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As far as appearance clothes,makeup how we have our hair ECT that is a manmade concept, so a guy dressing as a women or a women dressing as a guy is something that us as humans have invented so everyone should be able to apear how they like not how society expects them to look. But the bit I don't understand is the surgery, is there not an element of mental health involved in someone wanting to change the very person they started life out as or is it just the same as anyone else having cosmetic surgery, Michael Jackson is the big reason I wonder this because he wanted to become someone else and he was a compleate nut job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As far as appearance clothes,makeup how we have our hair ECT that is a manmade concept, so a guy dressing as a women or a women dressing as a guy is something that us as humans have invented so everyone should be able to apear how they like not how society expects them to look. But the bit I don't understand is the surgery, is there not an element of mental health involved in someone wanting to change the very person they started life out as or is it just the same as anyone else having cosmetic surgery, Michael Jackson is the big reason I wonder this because he wanted to become someone else and he was a compleate nut job."

Have you read the thread?

They aren't wanting to change the person they are. They want to be the person they are.

Did you know Michael personally?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don’t understand because you don’t have gender dysphoria. You don’t know how it feels when your brain since you are a child tells you that you are a girl (or a boy) but your body doesn’t match. And everyone treats you as a boy. You don’t know how it feels when your brain rejects part of your body that you were sadly born with. I remember well when I was 4-5 being in the bath and hating what was in between my legs and wishing and wondering if it’d fall off.

It isn’t a whim. And the only decision we ever make, is to finally accept who we are and try to match the inside with the outside.

Some never resort to surgery by the way. If they are comfortable enough with just hormones. Some might have the necessity to go all the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its at the core of who we are. I always say that what makes me a woman, isn’t how I look, what’s in between my leg or how long my hair is or if I wear nails varnish.

It’s my brain (or call it soul) … it’s at my deepest core and my aura. And that’s how I know because it traces back to as long as I can remember …

But it’s exhausting having to explain over and over and feeling the need to justify on why I am this way. Or worse, people thinking that Girls like me are just playing actresses. And mocking being a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seriously ? On a thread promoting an awareness of trans issues you go and compare us to “nut jobs”?

What exactly are you hoping to achieve with this comment ?

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

On threads like this, I always end up expanding my block list...

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's Trans Day of Remembrance.

I'm sorry that one post has caused pain today. It shouldn't be so hard to live as your authentic self.

Much love to you all today. I hope all your trans friends are still with you and you are all able to live, love and experience peace and joy.

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