FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

How soon?

Jump to newest
 

By *estofboth OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

How soon into messaging with somebody where there’s attraction on here do you realise it’s a lost cause?

Sometimes we feel a little quick on the draw but one or two messages is usually enough to decide it’s not going anywhere and we make a polite exit.

Just wondering if Fab has tuned our radar to perfection or made us overly cautious!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackFromTheDead2Man
over a year ago

London/Surrey

Sometimes you can tell but other times they are genuinely busy with other stuff outside fab but more often than not it's a lost cause I feel

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it feels like effort talking to them I guess. I can usually tell by the conversation which way it's going to go. If you lose interest before meeting, there's not much point continuing for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

2 to 5 days for the slow fade usually, or more abruptly if they do something I don't like, I will reply when questioned but the majority are happy to slow fade as it avoids confrontation

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First message

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First message "

Sometimes I like to play along to see how many messages in we get before "so, what you into?" pops up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

When it feels like too much effort and I don't have the energy/desire to continue it. If there was attraction I slow fade most of the time. Otherwise I'd politely say something.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I just assume they’re being polite and can’t wait to get away…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First message. If they message me there's clearly something terribly wrong with them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

It's so wonderful to be messaging where it just flows. With others it's like pulling teeth.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's so wonderful to be messaging where it just flows. With others it's like pulling teeth. "

This for sure !

Some people message and there is just nothing there - I don’t like to be rude and not reply to people but I really struggle finding anything at all to say back ……

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Is now. Neee aaooooowwwww

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of all the things people find the most awkward to say, it’s the ‘sorry, not for me’ type of farewell message. Is it because folk fear a bucket load of abuse for doing so?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lofeldMan
over a year ago

Redhill

If there's a one word answer back inside the first three messages that isn't at least humorous or in context then don't bother.

You need a rapport otherwise what's the point.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lofeldMan
over a year ago

Redhill


"Of all the things people find the most awkward to say, it’s the ‘sorry, not for me’ type of farewell message. Is it because folk fear a bucket load of abuse for doing so? "

I think that, and some people just don't like imparting bad news, even anonymously on a site like this. People are generally good natured.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"It's so wonderful to be messaging where it just flows. With others it's like pulling teeth. "

So true. If I'm not feeling it I bail pretty soon.

Great if you find someone where it flows

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How soon into messaging with somebody where there’s attraction on here do you realise it’s a lost cause?

Sometimes we feel a little quick on the draw but one or two messages is usually enough to decide it’s not going anywhere and we make a polite exit.

Just wondering if Fab has tuned our radar to perfection or made us overly cautious!

"

Just out of curiosity how can you tail after just two messages

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of all the things people find the most awkward to say, it’s the ‘sorry, not for me’ type of farewell message. Is it because folk fear a bucket load of abuse for doing so? "

If the person is quite nice and polite I just feel crap saying it. But I've learned from feedback here that men would prefer I bring it to an end quickly if I'm not into them. Some guys do get unpleasant about it or argue with me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will have a gut feeling after half a dozen or so messages that it's going nowhere. I haven't been wrong so far.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Think you can tell from a couple of messages in. The tone of the message and how engaging they are. Whether they are asking questions back. The length of time between messages.

If there was interest, people will look for your message and respond quickly.

If it feels like you are pulling teeth then there’s little point in carrying on…

K

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So everyone bases it solely on message content? I get people can say completely inappropriate things that don't warrant a response but not everyone can shine in such a two dimensional environment.

Anyway op, I'm staggeringly efficient at this, sometimes I can manage to do it 3 days before they even message me. It's great, I don't get bothered by any messages.

Oh? Wait a minute

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouplecu2015Couple
over a year ago

Reading

First message

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So everyone bases it solely on message content? I get people can say completely inappropriate things that don't warrant a response but not everyone can shine in such a two dimensional environment.

Anyway op, I'm staggeringly efficient at this, sometimes I can manage to do it 3 days before they even message me. It's great, I don't get bothered by any messages.

Oh? Wait a minute "

No just not messages. The status, comments on the forum, profile. It all helps build a picture of what someone is like when I receive a cold message from them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top