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Alternatives to a dildo in a family home

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The fear is always there, what if some family ie kids/etc find our dildo. Its large ie at least 10 inches and good girth.

We have used cucumbers in the past but getting the correct size and its cold as in the fridge.

We have in the past used Sure/250ml cans of spray as a dildo but cans are cold and slight crease that wife can feel and a bit to thick to be comforatable.

We have our sprays but the fear of loosing the top or its not shaped in a way to make it easy to go into the pussy.

When we go away on hols about twice a year it used to be we hid the sex toys in a bin, side/spill over clean bid with dry waste in bags and so when we return from hols I take it out.

So what is there for exmaple like a handy tool, spray can, cream bottle etc that could be used as a dildo but if someone else saw it they can only see for what it is ie spray can/etc/etc

Any ideas via forum or private message us please.

btw - discuss this with Tej a short while ago, she does not say a lot about sex she did point out that we'd loose the vibrating element on the la alternatives by we both agreed to see what the options were - so please help re average size alternative didlo, about 10 inches and 5 inche girth as more than that is uncomfortable unless its the real thing.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that. "

Thanks

Our grown up x 2 kids live at home plus mother-inlaw and fear of them finding them

The worst fear is we are out away on hols/etc have an accident etc so not able to return for a while - hence the question as I dont want my wife humilated as most older asian ladies see toys like that and I dread to think what the children would think

Thanks

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Get a decent Box or chest, which you can lock. Then put it out of sight (bottom of a wardrobe etc.)

Then if someone makes the effort to find and open it, it's their problem.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Put your sex toys in a locked box or suitcase. It's not hygenic to use random household objects or vegetables, ruins the vaginal pH and balance of bacteria/yeast.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that.

Thanks

Our grown up x 2 kids live at home plus mother-inlaw and fear of them finding them

The worst fear is we are out away on hols/etc have an accident etc so not able to return for a while - hence the question as I dont want my wife humilated as most older asian ladies see toys like that and I dread to think what the children would think

Thanks"

Tej I understand .

I think that a locked box or brief case might be an idea. I also think that your children would understand if you asked one of them discreetly to dispose of it in case of an accident.

When we die our kids are on for a big surprise

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Paint the dildo to look like a can of anti perspirant and leave in plain sight on the bathroom shelf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that. "

Sound advice, if our kids go rooting they will be in for a very big suprise and it will serve them right haha.

Get a nice toy chest with a lock or something with a secret compartment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all, my fault for not being clear in my OP

IE - the worst case scenrio we go out and accident then kids etc find the locked drawers etc

Therefore, what would you use and used and found it was good - no cucumbers/veg etc more of a spray can of some type cream bottle, etc

Thanks again

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that.

Sound advice, if our kids go rooting they will be in for a very big suprise and it will serve them right haha.

Get a nice toy chest with a lock or something with a secret compartment. "

We did come home once to find the bedside drawer open and a large dildo we used to enjoy in plain sight. The drawer was shut when we left. I think the surprise will come when they see our book collection and bondage stuff. Our private photos will hopefully never be found by them.

I do understand how different it can be in other cultures but I don't think it's a bad thing for adult kids to understand that their parents are very much individuals with a sex life.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thank you all, my fault for not being clear in my OP

IE - the worst case scenrio we go out and accident then kids etc find the locked drawers etc

Therefore, what would you use and used and found it was good - no cucumbers/veg etc more of a spray can of some type cream bottle, etc

Thanks again"

Never used anything like that. If you do find something rounded at the end, wash it and rinse it then put a condom on it. Alternatively buy a locking thing and tell your kids to mind their own business. They know about sex Tej, in the unlikely event that you become incapacitated and they find a locked drawer what's the worst that could happen?

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By *atcherwankerMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Paint the dildo to look like a can of anti perspirant and leave in plain sight on the bathroom shelf "

I have no idea why this made me laugh so much.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thank you all, my fault for not being clear in my OP

IE - the worst case scenrio we go out and accident then kids etc find the locked drawers etc

Therefore, what would you use and used and found it was good - no cucumbers/veg etc more of a spray can of some type cream bottle, etc

Thanks again

Never used anything like that. If you do find something rounded at the end, wash it and rinse it then put a condom on it. Alternatively buy a locking thing and tell your kids to mind their own business. They know about sex Tej, in the unlikely event that you become incapacitated and they find a locked drawer what's the worst that could happen?"

Sorry it's Raul posting isn't it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just leave mine in the kitchen drawer. If anybody asks I call them a dirty minded bastard and point out it's for tenderising the meat.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

They are in a draw but lucky live in a house where people don’t go routing in each other’s rooms / private space.

If an accident happens and someone has to clear out the house, so be it, they might be shocked but probably laugh too as the quiet one had a good time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The fear is always there, what if some family ie kids/etc find our dildo. Its large ie at least 10 inches and good girth.

We have used cucumbers in the past but getting the correct size and its cold as in the fridge.

We have in the past used Sure/250ml cans of spray as a dildo but cans are cold and slight crease that wife can feel and a bit to thick to be comforatable.

We have our sprays but the fear of loosing the top or its not shaped in a way to make it easy to go into the pussy.

When we go away on hols about twice a year it used to be we hid the sex toys in a bin, side/spill over clean bid with dry waste in bags and so when we return from hols I take it out.

So what is there for exmaple like a handy tool, spray can, cream bottle etc that could be used as a dildo but if someone else saw it they can only see for what it is ie spray can/etc/etc

Any ideas via forum or private message us please.

btw - discuss this with Tej a short while ago, she does not say a lot about sex she did point out that we'd loose the vibrating element on the la alternatives by we both agreed to see what the options were - so please help re average size alternative didlo, about 10 inches and 5 inche girth as more than that is uncomfortable unless its the real thing."

Bottle of toilet duck

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Try real penis

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The chequered one on the shelf is my thermos flask ......

Don't put that anywhere dark , warm n wet please.

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By *955vintageMan
over a year ago

itchen stoke


"We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that. "

You have the vicar round for tea?

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"The chequered one on the shelf is my thermos flask ......

Don't put that anywhere dark , warm n wet please."

^^ That’s code for she does her arse with it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that.

You have the vicar round for tea?"

Not when the dildos are on the coffee table we don't.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"The chequered one on the shelf is my thermos flask ......

Don't put that anywhere dark , warm n wet please.

^^ That’s code for she does my arse with it and I cry "

He asks me to !!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Lock it up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just leave mine in the kitchen drawer. If anybody asks I call them a dirty minded bastard and point out it's for tenderising the meat."

That made me, LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kids constantly find mine so I’m looking at getting a locked box for ours so they can’t go snooping. I do have my vibrator in my bedside table drawer and that’s staying. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Squirty cream cans have a rounded crinkly end, but you're still in danger of losing the lid. Only other thing I can come up with is broom handles but that seems a bit of a stretch. Better to go with the lock box idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My kids constantly find mine so I’m looking at getting a locked box for ours so they can’t go snooping. I do have my vibrator in my bedside table drawer and that’s staying. X"

My daughter found mine when she was 3. Came down the stairs holding it like a metal detector screaming "JELLY WINKLE!"

I still wake up in a cold sweat thinking about it.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

What do you mean the fear of losing the top of a spray

Whatever you use that isn't supposed to be used for this purpose should be at least wrapped in condom.

K

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Table leg

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon


"We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that. "

Surely a Vicar wouldn’t know what it is? Try it next time you invite him or her round. And, feedback please?

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

A Fire Extinguisher. Always thinking safety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter found mine once when she was abit younger, I was downstairs in the kitchen and heard the inmistakeable sound of my vibrator from the room above me going through its many vibration settings she must've got curious, managed to switch it on but couldn't work out how to turn it off, I ran upstairs to find her blushing in her bedroom and my vibrator was zigzagging allover my bedroom floor at high speed I was mortified at the time but it makes me giggle now.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that.

Surely a Vicar wouldn’t know what it is? Try it next time you invite him or her round. And, feedback please?"

Even revs needed revving up sometimes .

I'll report back if a vicar ever crosses our threshold.

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By *hubby CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Essex

Electric toothbrush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Squirty cream cans have a rounded crinkly end, but you're still in danger of losing the lid. Only other thing I can come up with is broom handles but that seems a bit of a stretch. Better to go with the lock box idea "

I think the squirty cream cans would be more of a stretch

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By *elsh_naturist_coupleCouple
over a year ago

Newport


"The fear is always there, what if some family ie kids/etc find our dildo. Its large ie at least 10 inches and good girth.

We have used cucumbers in the past but getting the correct size and its cold as in the fridge.

We have in the past used Sure/250ml cans of spray as a dildo but cans are cold and slight crease that wife can feel and a bit to thick to be comforatable.

We have our sprays but the fear of loosing the top or its not shaped in a way to make it easy to go into the pussy.

When we go away on hols about twice a year it used to be we hid the sex toys in a bin, side/spill over clean bid with dry waste in bags and so when we return from hols I take it out.

So what is there for exmaple like a handy tool, spray can, cream bottle etc that could be used as a dildo but if someone else saw it they can only see for what it is ie spray can/etc/etc

Any ideas via forum or private message us please.

btw - discuss this with Tej a short while ago, she does not say a lot about sex she did point out that we'd loose the vibrating element on the la alternatives by we both agreed to see what the options were - so please help re average size alternative didlo, about 10 inches and 5 inche girth as more than that is uncomfortable unless its the real thing."

If you are that worried about kids going through your stuff get a lock on the door or keypad.

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

take it with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite supriced no one’s posted it as I heard it’s quite commen a hair brush with a round handle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have a dog as a pet?

If so - wander around Pets at Home or B&M - there are a lot of dog toys that I am sure must be made in the same factories as dildos

Keep it is the drawer as a present for Fido

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge


"We keep ours in a bedside drawer. If a family member goes looking and get a shock it's their fault. As long as we don't have them on the coffee table when the vicar comes round I don't see that it's anybody's business. If you're really concerned get a locking box and keep them in that. "

Quite right, don’t want the Vicar nicking it

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By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Get a box with a lock? Even pop down to your local DIY store and get a tool box that you can put a padlock on.

Did that ages ago even put a small hole into the bottom corner so could charge devices while they were in there.

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